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This episode is brought to you by Shopify. Whether you're selling a little or a lot, Shopify helps you do your thing however you cha-ching. From the launch your online shop stage all the way to the we just hit a million orders stage. No matter what stage you're in, Shopify's there to help you grow. Sign up for a $1 per month trial period at shopify.com slash special offer all lowercase. That's shopify.com slash special offer.
This podcast is supported by FX's English Teacher, a new comedy from executive producers of What We Do in the Shadows and Baskets. English Teacher follows Evan, a teacher in Austin, Texas, who learns if it's really possible to be your full self at your job, while often finding himself at the intersection of the personal, professional, and political aspects of working at a high school. FX's English Teacher premieres September 2nd on FX.
Stream on Hulu. Hello, my beautiful people, and welcome back to the Moments Podcast. This is a continuation of last week's episode. I'm recording it. I'm recording two in one right now. So we've been doing advice, and if you want to listen to last week's episode, go for it. If you listened to it already, welcome back. What we're getting into right now is...
How do you have enough courage to start something people around you don't see working? And this is something I felt and experienced a lot. Like, let's go all the way back to when I first started making TikToks. I got so shit on, it's crazy. All of my friends were like, this is so cringe. Why are you on TikTok? Why are you making dancing videos? And even I look back at my old videos and I'm like, dang girl, what were you doing?
Clearly it worked out, so I'm not mad about it. But there were a lot of people around me who didn't believe in me. There's still a lot of people around me who I will explain what I do now.
For my job and how passionate I am about it and how much I love it. And they'll be like, oh, so you just post on Instagram and TikTok and like you're an influencer. And I'm like, okay, you can look at it that way. But for me, in my heart, I know what I'm doing is so much bigger than that. I know that I have dreams and goals and so many other things that I'm going to pursue in this lifetime. And so many other things in the works. I'm going to be a published author. I'm working on a guided journal. I have dreams to film a documentary one day of people across the world. Like I have dreams.
Big goals. And I am confident, so confident in this journey that I've gotten myself to a point where I don't care what anyone around me thinks. And in the beginning I did. So I would change what I was doing just for other people to understand me or like believe me or have faith in me.
But now that I've been pursuing an interesting dream for a little while now, I've gotten to a point where I just say, screw it. I don't need people to believe in me. There's no one I need to prove anything to except myself. I'm the only one I owe anything to. You know what I'm saying? Just trust yourself, believe yourself, and watch. As soon as those dreams become your reality, the people who used to hate on you are going to be the ones begging on their knees to have you talk to them.
Like I learned the people that made fun of me in high school or college, I guess, for making TikToks, like they want to be my best friend still. I'm like, girl, I remember what you did. I remember what you said. Like, don't come around now that it's worked out. But just know people are always going to be haters. And it's always the people who don't take the leap for themselves that have the most to say. And when you can think of that, it should bring you some comfort and some ease. And you should be really proud of yourself for pursuing something that a lot of people around you would never have the balls to do.
It's freaking awesome. I'm scrolling. What do I have next? And if you're only listening to this week's episode, I've just been scrolling through my Instagram story I put on there. What do you want to talk about? What do you have advice for? And we're just scrolling and we're talking about it together. And it's a super late night. It's 1243 right now. And I'm sitting in my bed, not even the podcast room. How do I get over coming back from an amazing vacation? Okay, I've heavily felt post-trip depression. It caused me to go into a crisis last year. I mean, big time.
I spent a lot of time traveling in 2022 and experiences I'm so grateful for and I was constantly like going all these new places I was coming home for only three days at a time and I was seeing places in the world that were so beautiful and I would get home from all those trips and I mean
Actually, I'm not even going to use that as the example. Let me use Hawaii first. I moved out to Hawaii for about six months the first time. And I came home, had absolutely zero appreciation for where I lived. And I don't want this to come across as like snarky or spoiled or bratty, but it probably is because it was. I came home from Hawaii to Florida. Florida, where I still have beautiful weather year-round, an ocean, my family, so many great things. And...
I was like, I hate it here. This place sucks. Like the beach is not the same. Like Hawaii is so much more beautiful. And for a little while I felt like that. And it wasn't until I stayed home for long enough that I could redevelop my appreciation for the life that I had. And I also came to the understanding that if I can appreciate what I have now, when I get to go somewhere new, I'm going to appreciate it 10 times more. I never want my mindset to be in a place where
I only appreciate the best of the best in the most beautiful places because when you live like that it goes into the same feeling as like you're never going to feel fulfilled and you're never going to feel satisfied because there's a whole world out there to see and if you're constantly stressing about seeing it all and seeing the most beautiful places it's likely you won't get to all of them so don't put all that pressure on doing it all and seeing it all just enjoy where you are
and appreciate where you are and then the next place the the next what the next it's late okay I'm gonna glitch a lot and this probably is gonna be a short episode because I think I'm getting a little bit too tired um the next place that you go is going to open your eyes even more and you're going to be 10 times more grateful so just think about that what do I have next
How to deal with friends that are shallow Christians. Oh, girl, this is a can of worms I am not capable of opening right now, but let's just do it. I got the can opener. Here's the thing. I love being a Christian, and I don't want this to come across the wrong way to anyone who is, like, I don't know if you want to say more strongly a Christian than I am. Whatever the case may be, there is a lot of Christians...
who I don't mess around with and I can I can say that confidently you know like it's nothing against the people it's more just like my personal relationships like I don't see myself ever having a relationship with certain people who believe these things um
There's a lot of parts of the church and a lot of the Christian community that has a really bad rep. And I think like sometimes it's for the right reasons. There are people who are, you know, say they're Christian and a huge goal of Christianity. I don't know if you're someone who's trying to like figure out what your religion is, whatever the case is. Hear me out.
In my mind, the biggest goal of Christianity is to live like Jesus. Jesus is someone who loves everyone and accepts everyone and treats everyone equally with the same amount of kindness and lives with his heart open and wants to see people succeed and be happy and be happy in their own skin. And there is a lot of the Christian community that will take the Bible that was written thousands and thousands and hundreds of thousands, however long ago,
and read things and twist them and make people feel the opposite of loved, the opposite of accepted, the opposite of cared for. And I think that that part of the Christian community is not people that I mess with. And if that's who you're referring to when you say like a shallow Christian,
I personally just keep my distance from those people in any way that I can. And when I am, you know, forced to be around them, I just, you know, you can't change everyone's mind. There's going to be a lot of people who are simply closed-minded. You can give them all the facts, all the information in the world, and they simply...
won't want to listen and you can't force someone to listen that doesn't want to listen so my take on that really is just to separate yourself from them and Don't try to convince them of anything the right people will come around at the right time in the sense that like that's actually not what I meant to say at all people will come around hopefully and if they don't they don't but again you just can't change everyone's mind and if you are someone who wants to live as a Christian and you feel like
The Christian community can be a lot sometimes. Number one, I hear you. Number two, just live like Jesus, okay? Just spend your time being a good person and talking to God and build your personal relationship with God. And he will talk to you back and he will tell you how to treat people. And usually that's good enough.
And I'm not going to get like super into religion right now. I know it's not controversial, but we just don't need to talk about religion. We all have different religions and I think that that's beautiful. And yeah, next, next, next. Transition into adulthood. I've kind of touched on this, especially in last week's episode.
Yeah, last week's episode. I feel like I'm in a phase of my life where I am officially facing that transition. And of course I'm still young. I'm 22. But I'm at a point now where I've moved out of my parents' home. I will probably never live with them again. I have my own cat. I have a stable career. I'm financially independent. And yes, I still act like a kid. I still go to my parents' house for dinner all the time. I'm always going to have the heart of a six-year-old.
But and my mom helps me with pretty much everything. I still don't know how to do my own taxes but for the most part I'm transitioning into adulthood and it's a scary thing because I think going from your childhood and having like All these built-in friends that are just in your hometown in your classes in your school You get to a point in adulthood where now, you know, you're not forced to be with all your friends in a classroom you are
kind of on your own schedule. You all have different jobs. You're going to move different places and it can be a scary thing to think about or it can be an exciting thing to think about. And I just think as you transition into adulthood, continue to follow your heart, to follow yourself, to make sure you prioritize the people that actually mean something to you and it will all work out. And I actually had a whole back and forth moment with this like, you know, internal dialogue with myself about it because I was texting my friend and
and he was at work, and I was like, oh, can you call me, or whatever, we were just chatting. He's like, I'll call you after work at 5, and I was like, okay, I'll see if I'm around. If not, try me later. I said that, I typed that, and I was like, holy shit, I'm a grown-up. If I'm not around, try me later. That sounds like such a grown-up. I don't know how to explain it, but it was weird. Like, talking about scheduling time for a phone call, when we used to just hang out together every single day, it's wild. But it's cool, and it's exciting, and just know that
I don't know. Being an adult is kind of fun. It's really cool having freedom in the sense that, I don't know, I can spend my money on what I want. I can spend my time doing what I want. I get to choose who I actually want to have around. I'm not forced to be in a classroom with them. It's fun. I don't know if that's advice, but just touched on it, I guess. This episode of the Moments Podcast is sponsored by BetterHelp.
Quick little intermission, you guys. We all know how important it is to prioritize the right things in our life. And maybe for you, that's prioritizing doing leg day at the gym or making sure you go for your hot girl walk. But how often are you prioritizing your mental health and making sure that therapy is a part of your weekly routine? If it's something that you've been open to, if it's something that you've been considering, I highly recommend BetterHelp. And thank you so much to BetterHelp for sponsoring this episode.
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How to be more loud and confident. This is hard, and I talked about one similar to this on last week's episode, but being loud and confident for me, I've learned, only comes out around certain people. I have a hard time being myself sometimes, and I kind of just listen to my gut, and I listen to my heart, and I find that if I have a hard time being myself around someone, it usually turns into something that
I don't know. It turns into being a person that I didn't need to show my full self to because they never had good intentions. And you'll learn, the older you get, we all will, the older I get, that you just keep discovering yourself as you grow up. And it just keeps getting a little bit easier to be yourself. And you just have to know, again, it all goes back to just understanding that
You're not going to be everyone's cup of tea and everyone around you is not going to be your cup of tea. That's okay. There's 7 billion of us. We can't all love each other completely. We can respect each other. We can be civil with each other, but you don't have to be best friends with everyone. That's okay. And it's just a good way for you to take it not personally if not everyone around you loves you because you don't love every single person that you meet ever. Right?
Right? What am I saying? I don't know. Hopefully it's making a little bit of sense. Just know that when you're around the right people, it will be easier to be confident and to be loud. And also, when it comes to new friendships or new relationships or things that you're just beginning to experience and evaluate,
You're not going to be able to be yourself right off the bat. And if you can, that is a superpower and I applaud you. I've never been that person. I struggle bad with social anxiety and I've learned that when I make the time for people and I spend more time with them, it gets easier and easier to be myself. So don't be afraid of taking the time to learn how to be yourself around people. Next, next, next. Why am I never satisfied with myself?
This is a question that I think we might all ask ourselves for a while because in this world, there's always more we could be doing and we could be searching for and we could be succeeding in and things that we could have and ways that we could look. But I think that the only thing that really helps me whenever I face this thought is simply the fact that I am a miracle. And it's not even in a weird way. Like genuinely, each of us
are miracles. There was a four trillion chance that we were born when we were born. And we have this DNA that comes from ancestors and ancestors and ancestors and I know I've touched on this before but it is the most beautiful thing for me to think about so I'll keep bringing it up in case you missed it the last time. You are so uniquely one of a kind and you should be satisfied with that because it's beautiful, it's incredible and it's awesome. So whenever you're feeling that just remind yourself of that, you know?
What do we have next? How to start talking to strangers. I'm not very good at this. I've made it a goal to be better, and the way that I do it is if I'm... Say I'm in line at the grocery store, and I like the girl behind me's shoes. I compliment her shoes, or I compliment someone's outfit, or if someone has a really bright energy, I just tell them. And...
I've kind of learned it never really goes wrong giving someone a compliment. Like, bad things don't really come from that. You give someone a compliment and so what? You guys don't become super close best friends, but they're going to take some good energy from that moment and hopefully share it with someone else. And you can look back and be like, damn, I just made probably five people's day better without even knowing it. All because I just told her I liked her shorts. You end up becoming best friend with the girl with the cute shorts. You just never know. But
Ten out of ten, nine out of ten times, giving someone a compliment is only going to lead to good things. And I think that that's helped me with talking to strangers. There's one situation specifically that I remember. I was in a really talkative phase of my life and I was at a coffee shop and I was sitting next to this girl and her boyfriend for a while. Like we were both just doing work at the coffee shop for about an hour or so. And she said something about yoga and I was directly next to her. I wasn't just like eavesdropping.
But I was sitting on my computer answering an email and she said something about yoga and how she wanted to get yoga certified. And I don't know what came over me. I look at her and go, oh my gosh, I'm so sorry to eavesdrop, but I heard you saying yoga training and how it's expensive at the place you were going to do it. And I told her about where I got my yoga training certification. And she ended up getting certified through the same teacher that I got certified through and built such a relationship with her. And now she's teaching yoga and
That was all just because I said something. And I think a past version of me wouldn't have said anything. I would have just listened and then probably called Lissette in the car and would have told her, oh my god, this girl was talking about yoga. But I just went for it. I just said it. And it changed probably the course of her life and the course of my life and my yoga teacher's life. And it's just really cool. And you never know what good it could do. So just don't be afraid to try. And I'm still constantly reminding myself of that because I still do have a hard time talking to strangers. But
We're all learning. We're all figuring it out. What do I have next? Okay, I actually really like this one. How to focus on doing you when you feel like people are trying to compete with you. Here's the thing. People are always, always going to try to compete with you. It's kind of just in our human nature. Competition is and comparison is. But...
I have had a couple instances in these past three years of doing social media where I have taken something really unique and started it because it came from the bottom of my heart and like my deepest of desires and passions and dreams. And I've started something only to watch people follow in the exact same footsteps. And, you know, it's easy. People always say, well, take it as like, oh, be flattered by it. You know, they're just inspired by you.
That, yeah, to an extent, but it's also frustrating when you spend a lot of time and a lot of hard work working on something just to have people kind of take the thunder for it or take the credit for it. I don't know. Like there's just been a few times where people with a much bigger following than I have have like essentially copied me in a sense. And it was frustrating at the time, but I've gotten to a point now where I just kind of accept it. It's just part of how this job goes and how life goes and how people are.
People are going to copy you. People are going to want to be you. And I'm about to tell you the same exact advice. Like, it is just flattery. And it's not personal. It's just what it is and how people are. And as long as you're doing you, your true self will shine through. And if you're doing things from your genuine passions and dreams, it's going to work out. Versus the people who are doing it just to make something work or to be like someone else, it's not going to last. And it's nothing against them. But...
That's all I got to say. Just keep doing you. Don't give a shit about what people are doing around you. Be so focused on watering your own grass that you are not going to spend a second looking at other other people's yards. This episode is brought to you by Shopify. Whether you're selling a little or a lot.
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LinkedIn, the place to be, to be. Okay, next, next, next. I'm constantly second guessing myself and regretting my decisions. Been there, done that. Spent a lot of time doing that. It's a waste of time and it's not worth it, okay? Even the bad decisions are going to give you something. You're going to gain something from them. You're going to learn a lesson if you make a mistake. Instead of spending all that time and regret...
Spend that time in reflection and understand what it taught you. And okay, maybe you won't do it again, but you can't change it. It already happened. Just let it be. It's all going to work out. It's all going to fall into place. I can pinky promise you that. Next I have, I'm reading, I'm reading, feeling overwhelmed. I have also been here, done that. I think those are all the ones that are speaking to me just because the ones that pop out at me are the ones I've felt heavily. Overwhelm is something I have experienced.
I've experienced too many times all too well. It is not an easy thing to go through because the reason I find myself super overwhelmed is because I just would like put all these things on my plate and they're all things that I want to do. Like I'm not filling my plate with things I don't actually care about. I was just thinking like, oh my God, life is so short. I have to do it all now. And whenever I find myself extremely, extremely overwhelmed, I play the song Vienna by Billy Joel.
And the song simply reminds me that I can slow down. I don't have to do it all this second. Let me evaluate what I genuinely want to be doing in this moment of my life versus what might be better to do in a year or so or in two years. And I still struggle with this. I still feel overwhelmed a lot and I burn out every once in a while, but that's going to happen. And if you're not in a situation where you can like evaluate and shift things around and you're overwhelmed,
Take a deep breath and take it one step at a time. And this is when you really have to put in the work to that mindset and just remind yourself that it will pass. Nothing lasts forever. And eventually you're going to be at a point in your life where you can breathe easy. You can take it slow. And this chapter might be, let's think me in college, for example, I was constantly overwhelmed, five jobs, five classes going out every single night. Um,
And of course, you know, if I would have evaluated it then, maybe I could have gone out less. But at the time, I was enjoying that. I didn't feel like that was something I could let go of at the time. Besides the point. What was I even just saying? One second. Need to backtrack. Oh, I had all those things going on. And now, none of those things are going on. And I can breathe easy. It will pass. Just trust it. Comfort zone when dating. Um, yeah. Let me touch on this for a second. I'm gonna just get real into it.
struggle. I'm scared of a lot of things when it comes to a relationship or dating or stepping out of my comfort zone. I hadn't been on a first date pretty much ever until my most recent date and it was scary like really scary but I got to a point in my life where I just had to say I never will know unless I try.
And it went great and I had nothing to be worried about. And then I went on a second date and a third date and a fourth date. And never in my life did I think I would get to that point. And there are still a lot of things about relationships that absolutely terrify me. And I have no idea what's to come in the future with this person.
I'm going to have no idea if I never try. So I might as well just go for it and see what happens. I really... My biggest life motto is just YOLO. Just don't be afraid of trying anything. You never know until you try. I'm just going to leave it at that. That's all the advice I have. And we'll do a whole episode on this another time because...
I could talk about it for a while. It's been a huge, huge problem for me in my life. And it's something that's also really vulnerable for me to talk about when it comes to like intimacy, emotionally, physically, every version of it is something I struggle with a lot. So I'm gonna talk to my therapist about it. And then I'll talk to you guys about it because it is something that I can't really even understand about myself or put into words. But once I gained that wisdom, I got you guys, I swear. Next up, next up, next up.
I'm reading. I'm reading. Okay, I like this one and I might end on this one, but I really like doing these advice episodes. If you want me to do them more, if they have any benefit to you, let me know in my DMs because I will continue to do them. This one says, I'm so bad at staying focused. How do I set my phone aside without deleting my social media or turning it off? This is really hard for me. As a girl with some seriously heavy...
unmedicated ADHD I will find myself in a mindless scroll constantly and I have a really hard time turning my phone off and when I find myself in those deep scrolls I have gone to a point where I'm super aware of it and I know that it's happening and I don't really stop so since I'm not at a point in my life yet where I'm capable or I feel capable because I know eventually I will be I'm going to speak positively of myself and believe in myself I'm
But when I feel as though I can't stop, I shift. I'll take what I'm watching on social media. I will get off TikTok where I'm comparing myself and I'll go to Pinterest where I feel inspired. Or if I'm on Instagram and I'm just like mindlessly scrolling through comments or whatever it is, I'll go somewhere else. I'll go to my notes and I'll journal.
I will understand that if I'm going to be on my phone, I'm going to at least do my best to do something that is going to be good for my mind. And eventually, once I like get out of the mindless scroll and I get into the mindful scroll, it's easier for me to get off my phone because suddenly I'm inspired to go live my own life and do my own things. And damn, I just realized I kind of like that. I like that. Change your mindless scroll into a mindful scroll.
Damn, we're gonna roll with that. Okay, mic drop. Next up. What else do we have? What else do we have? I know that I said that was the last one, but we're gonna do one more and then I promise we're done. Letting yourself experience good things. I also have struggled with this. I would be really, really focused on
making myself successful and accomplished that I didn't believe I had any time for fun or any time for enjoyment or any time to go out and drink with my friends or just hang out with my parents or do something freely and carelessly and go play and go I don't know just do things that weren't productive I didn't believe I had any room for that if I was ever going to be deemed successful and then I
I changed what success meant to me. And I went from viewing success as money and... What's the other word I'm looking for? I viewed success as like money and accomplishment and power. Which sounds heavier than it was. Like it wasn't ever like I was just money hungry, crazy, power hungry girl. But I was prioritizing those things. Like I need to be financially independent. I need to constantly be working. No. Took success and I made it mean...
Happiness. And I made it mean success in my life looked like having good friends and laughing so hard that my stomach hurts and feeling carefree and enjoying life. Like success is enjoying life. I will deem myself successful if I am enjoying my life. And yes, money is important and happiness.
accomplishments are important and goals and dreams are important and this isn't me contradicting myself there's very fine details in here that make a difference
Those things are important, but when I spend more time laughing with my friends and hanging out with my family, you will be more inspired to accomplish your goals. And I can tell you that from personal experience. I'm not just pulling these things out of my butthole. I've learned them, and it's cool. Like, it's so cool to be able to be at a point where I can say that. You deserve to enjoy good things. You deserve to have fun. You were put on this earth in the first place to do that. We brought in the money. Like,
We brought in the technology, the money, the power. That was never there originally. So if you don't give yourself a balance, you're not going to feel good. Let yourself have fun because you deserve it. And that's all the advice I got. I'm going to leave it right there at that. I'm really grateful for you guys. And I love you with my whole entire heart. And I'll say it over and over and over again. And I'll scream it off the rooftops.
I wouldn't be able to do any of this if it wasn't for you and even if you don't realize it you guys are the ones who have taught me half of the lessons that I'm sharing with you right now and you probably already know a lot of these things but sometimes it's nice to just have someone tell it to you again like I love when I'm hanging out with my friends and somehow our conversation gets kind of deep and they just remind me of all these little things because I
We need reminders constantly and I say it all the time. And now that I've been doing this podcast for almost two years, I almost feel as though everything I say I've already said, there's a new thing here and there. I don't know. I love you guys. We're going to end it here. I will talk to you next Monday. I'm probably going to be super excited for next week's episode because I'm a week ahead right now, which is super cool. But anyways, love you. We'll talk soon. You're the best people in the whole wide world.