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cover of episode 78: Some things are just bad for you

78: Some things are just bad for you

2023/4/24
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对萨尔瓦多房地产市场有深入了解,特别是在比特币采用和外国投资者的背景下。
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Lexi: 本期播客讨论的是生活中一些事物对你的负面影响,无论这些事物是人还是其他东西。Lexi分享了她对宗教、过去的人际关系以及其他一些事情的看法。她认为有些事情保持距离比较健康,有些事情根本不适合你。她还谈到了在生活中要学会识别并远离那些有害的人际关系,无论这些关系是友情还是爱情。她强调要学会爱自己,不要为了取悦他人而改变自己。同时,她也谈到了生活中一些事物本身就对身体有害,例如酒精、糖分等,要学会权衡利弊,决定是否值得为某些事物付出代价。Lexi还分享了她过去的一些经历,以及她从中吸取的教训。她鼓励听众们要学会识别并远离那些不平等、单方面付出的关系,不要试图修复那些无法修复的关系,学会放手。她认为,要学会接受生活中一些事物是暂时的,并相信美好的事物终将到来。

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The episode discusses how certain things, people, and relationships can be inherently bad for you, and how recognizing this can be a difficult but necessary step towards personal growth.

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My dad works in B2B marketing. He came by my school for career day and said he was a big ROAS man. Then he told everyone how much he loved calculating his return on ad spend.

My friend's still laughing at me to this day. Not everyone gets B2B, but with LinkedIn, you'll be able to reach people who do. Get $100 credit on your next ad campaign. Go to LinkedIn.com slash results to claim your credit. That's LinkedIn.com slash results. Terms and conditions apply. LinkedIn, the place to be, to be. This episode is brought to you by Shopify. Whether you're selling a little or a lot.

Shopify helps you do your thing, however you cha-ching. From the launch your online shop stage, all the way to the we just hit a million orders stage. No matter what stage you're in, Shopify's there to help you grow. Sign up for a $1 per month trial period at shopify.com slash special offer, all lowercase. That's shopify.com slash special offer. Hello, my beautiful people, and welcome back to the Moments Podcast. I am

Started out my day in the best mood ever I was just in a great mood all day long and then it got a little cloudy 20 minutes ago and all of a sudden I was in a bad mood and I was exhausted and Every time I record when I'm in a headspace like this I end up feeling so much better by the end of it and I think that's just a clear sign that we all need to just talk more often to people or to ourselves or to write or to journal and

Whatever it may be, it always makes me feel better without fail. So just sharing that information with you. This episode came to me randomly to record this morning. I was making a coffee, filming a little coffee talk on TikTok, and for some reason, this is what went through my head. And it doesn't even really apply to my life in this exact moment, but it has applied to my life in many other times. So I'm going to share it with you. What we're going to talk about is how some things are simply just bad for you.

There's not much if and but about it. Some things are just...

bad for you and some people are just bad for you and some friendships and some relationships and it's a hard pill to swallow and something that none of us want to accept especially if we're people pleasers or people who give others the benefit of the doubt or keep giving chance after chance after chance this isn't what we want to hear and I'm one of those people so it's coming to you from that perspective but before I get into that let me give you a little life update

For starters, there's a couple things I really want to go over. The number one thing is that I think I can now tell you, you guys are getting special insight. You know if you're a podcast listener that you get the top secret tea going on in my life. This isn't really tea, but you guys are the first ones to know and I can officially tell you that

I am doing a bikini collection with Kulani and it's ideally launching on May 14th. So you'll start seeing sneak peeks and stuff soon on TikTok and Instagram. But I just wanted to tell you guys first because you guys are my family and you are my bestest friends out of all of my friends. Not that I have favorites, but you guys are my favorite. And I can't wait for this collection to come to life. I've been working on it since October of 2022 and I

Working with the Kulani team has just been a dream come true. You guys know that I'm in the ocean almost every single day or at least every day that I can be. I love the water. I love a good swimsuit. And Kulani was actually the first ever bikini brand to send me a bathing suit right when I started posting on TikTok. And I owe a lot to them.

They are one of those companies that has just been there since day one and I will support them until the day that I die. They have a beautiful team and everyone is so loving and caring and passionate and if you don't have a Kulani swimsuit, you're going to want to get one and I don't even care if it's from my collection or not. I mean, I hope it is, but they're the best. Their team is the best and I just wanted to give you guys that little insider and that's why I was in California.

A few weeks ago, and that's why I just, I don't know. I've been working on all sorts of things with them, and it's a dream come true. It feels really cool to be able to work on projects like this that just feel very intentional and purposeful, and just, we put the work in. And everything that has gone into the designing, the campaign shoot, there's so many little details that I didn't even know were included in a design process like this, but it's

It was really beautiful to be a part of it. I keep forgetting to breathe. Like, you ever just talking and then all of a sudden you're out of breath? That's what's going on for me right now. We're going to get into the next update, but get pumped. Kulani Collection is beautiful. The prints are insane. The colors are more magical than I thought they ever could be. And I'm pretty sure there's a print on there that everyone will love. I know we all have different styles, aesthetics, favorites, colors, whatever it is.

there's an option for you. And you know, Kulani has 10 million thousand different styles as far as the fit of the suit goes. So you're in luck. You're in luck.

This next update is a big one, and I can't wait to tell you. I... Well, you guys know I've been working on a guided journal for years now, since I started this podcast. I think I first talked about it back in October of 2021. And since October... Or since January of 2022, I've been working on a journal proposal, trying to pitch it to publishing companies, trying to talk through the ideas with my team, and...

It's now, what is it, April 2023, and I just sent over my final edits on our manuscript and our copies, and it was really emotional for me just because even though I still have a long time until this journal is published, we're talking spring 2024, so about a year from now, because the publishing process is so long, it's finally starting to feel real, and doing this journal has given me such a sense of

And it's helped me feel really fulfilled because journaling is one of those things that changed my life in so many ways and really helps me get in touch with myself and my emotions and who I want to be and what I want to do. And if I can help anyone else have that same discovery or those same discoveries about themselves, then I will feel fulfilled.

really, really, really happy and blissful. And I can't wait for you guys to see this journal. I've put so much thought into all these different prompts. I've answered or done journal entries myself on almost all of them. There's about 70, I think, and it's going to be a dream come true when it happens. So we got a year, but if I start talking about it, please, guys, feel free to be my biggest hype man. You can start telling your friends about it, your moms, whoever it is. I think that this journal could be something for everyone and everyone

It's a new fun project. Just can't wait to see where it goes. You guys know I like to keep my eggs in about 10 million different baskets because I'm always doing all sorts of things and I can't really pick one thing to just focus on, but this journal has stuck around for quite some time and I'm very pumped up about it. The last update I have for you before we get into all the good stuff is that I bought a house. Feels weird to say because that just got finalized yesterday.

And never in a million years did I think that I would be at a point in my life where I could buy a house and I could make it a fun project with my mom and my dad and my brothers and my best friends to flip this house and renovate this house and DIY and have projects and just make it so fun and cozy and beautiful. And I think that what we're going to do is make it a long-term rental or put it on Airbnb.

Whichever kind of works out the best. I don't know I just think that it's gonna be a really exciting project and my mom and I couldn't be happier and there's nothing more special to me than doing these kind of projects with her just because It's something that she loves to do and it's a hobby for both of us So it's something we can enjoy and not feel pressured by or have to work for I don't know how to explain it My mom and I have a great relationship. She's my best friend, but

When all we do together is talk about my work or whenever she's helping manage me or helping me with the moments collections, we just get, we butt heads a lot more because she's trying to help me, but I just want her to be my mom and yada, yada, yada. When we do things like this together is when we really bond the most. So it just makes me happy and very excited. And I'm done rambling your ear off. Let's get into it.

Of course, you know, I'm only 20, 20, 20, 22. Really? Really? I meant to say I'm only 22 and I still have, I made a little bit of an outline for this episode. So if I get lost, that's why, but I'm only 22. I still have so much that I need to learn. But if there's one thing that this life has taught me, um, it's that once something hurts me once, if I go back to it,

Nine times out of ten, that same thing is going to hurt me again. Whether it's in a different way or it teaches me a different lesson. Hurt doesn't always have to be really deep or really emotional. But it's likely that I'm going to relearn the same exact lesson that God tried to teach me once. And I want to dive deep into this specific thing on friendships and on relationships. But not only that, also just things in life and places in life. And I'll start with talking about people. But...

But sometimes two people simply just aren't meant to be together. And I think I get a lot of, not I think, I know I get a lot of DMs asking me to talk about breakups or a long-term relationship ending or people growing apart or someone breaking up with you. And these things are kind of hard for me to talk about because the only serious relationship I've been in, I don't think it was serious for me. I think that it just passed time for me and I don't know if it was ever truly love. So I've never experienced...

a relationship ending when it's real. And so I just, I've avoided talking about it. But I do think that that specific topic can apply to what I'm trying to get across to you now or talk about now. And that is just that sometimes things simply are bad for you. And bad is not exactly even the word that I'm looking for. Maybe just aren't good for you or aren't what you need or aren't what you deserve. You get the point.

But sometimes two people just grow apart and that's what God intends for them to do. There's people who are going to be in your life for just a season and there are going to be people in your life who are going to be there forever. And we often get really, really attached to people really quickly. And then when they leave our lives, it's really hard for us because we can't process or visualize a life without them in it.

And something that's brought me a lot of peace with that is just a lot of this comes down to faith. And again, I'm not trying to get religious. Whatever you believe is that that's what I want you to continue believing in whatever higher power that it is.

But whatever higher power it is that you believe is looking down on you, did that for a reason and gave you that person for a reason at that point in your life. And the older I get, the more I experience it. When we're in middle school or we're in high school or even when you're in college, you're surrounded by the same people, whether you like it or not. You know, you have the same people in your classes, the same people at your school, and

you don't really have much time to figure out who's actually good in your life and who's bad. And then we get to the point, depending on how old you are when you're listening to this, where you become a young adult and your schedule becomes your freedom. You know, you don't have to be surrounded by people all the time anymore. You get to choose who you make time for and who you prioritize in your life. And that's

Not an easy thing to do and it's not something that a lot of us talk about often. It's tough. It comes to the point where we have to put in work in friendships and work in relationships and it's not just natural because we see each other every day if you're picking up what I'm putting down. But that being said, God, I'm going to say God because that's, you know, that's who I believe is looking down on me. But whoever it is for you, again, this isn't supposed to be about that, but the universe, whatever it is.

I'm only I'm getting so defensive about that because I posted a TikTok talking about my faith and my Christianity and such a hard thing for me to talk about because the way that I believe is just that Jesus simply loves us all. And if Jesus were here, he would love everyone exactly as they are. There's just so many things in Christianity that I have a hard time agreeing with and getting behind things that even the Bible says that just don't make me feel good or comfortable. And it's tough because people who, you know,

are trying to lead people towards Jesus and Christianity do the opposite for me. They push me so far away. Besides the point, I posted a TikTok just kind of talking about it and then people were just trolling me. "You're fake, you're this, you're that." Point is, I know my relationship with God and that's what I'm going to focus on and that's what I'm going to prioritize. And I do want to do a whole episode talking about it because, again, no one really talks about it and I want people to come to Jesus, but the Jesus that loves everyone, not whatever one they're talking about.

This episode of the Moments podcast is sponsored by BetterHelp.

Quick little intermission, you guys. We all know how important it is to prioritize the right things in our life. And maybe for you, that's prioritizing doing leg day at the gym or making sure you go for your hot girl walk. But how often are you prioritizing your mental health and making sure that therapy is a part of your weekly routine? If it's something that you've been open to, if it's something that you've been considering, I highly recommend BetterHelp. And thank you so much to BetterHelp for sponsoring this episode. And I'll see you in the next one.

I absolutely love BetterHelp. I love therapy. I have talked about it over and over and over again. And that is for a reason. It is the greatest thing ever. Having an outlet and a person to talk to about what you're going through and getting unbiased opinions and advice is so, so beneficial.

So if you're thinking about starting therapy, give BetterHelp a try. It's entirely online. It's designed to be convenient, flexible, and suited to your schedule. You just have to fill out a brief questionnaire and you'll get matched with a licensed therapist and you can switch therapists anytime for no additional charge. Never skip therapy day with BetterHelp. Visit betterhelp.com slash moments today to get 10% off your first month. That's betterhelp, H-E-L-P dot com slash moments.

Quick little intermission. You guys know how much I love Thrive Cosmetics. I really don't even need to explain it to you because those of you who know me know me, know I've been using their liquid lash extensions mascara for the past three years of my life, and I use it religiously. Even if I'm getting my makeup done, I bring it with me. Not only are their products high performance, but they also give back to the community. And they're not just for me.

They're good for you. They're the best things in the whole entire world. And lately I've been using their Empower Matte Precision Lipstick Crayon. I didn't know what to expect when I tried this, but it is like long lasting and it stays on forever. And there's no dry flaky feeling. I also love to use their Brilliant Eye Brightener. It's like a combo of a highlight and an eyeshadow and it works perfectly on my inner corner. Sometimes I put a little dollop on my nose.

But everything that Thrive has to offer is an absolute 10 out of 10. And I don't say this lightly. I say it from the bottom of my heart. I love everything about this brand. And honestly, being able to tell you about them is such an honor for me.

So refresh your everyday look with Thrive Cosmetics, beauty that gives back. Right now, you can get an exclusive 10% off your first order at thrivecosmetics.com slash moments. That's Thrive Cosmetics, C-A-U-S-E-M-E-T-I-C-S dot com slash moments for 10% off your first order. You're going to absolutely love it. I pinky promise you. Have a beautiful day. Back to the pod. Let's move on. It's a tough thing. Religion is weird, crazy, and I don't even know.

Where was I? See, this is why I can't go on tangents. I just lose my complete train of thought. But God is going to put people in your life for a short amount of time. The older I get, the more I experience this.

I have had friends who were my best, best, best friends in high school. And that was a lot of bests. That were my really close friends in high school. And now I'm at a point where I don't see them every day. We don't live in the same state. We don't do any similar things. And we don't have much in common anymore besides our childhood and our past. And a lot of those friendships are friendships that take work. My best friend Courtney, for example, she...

Went to a different college than I did. We were best friends in high school, like inseparable. I love this girl with my whole entire heart. And her and I have to basically schedule out times that we can call each other and catch up on what it is we have going on. Because she's where I think I've talked about her on here before. She's working in the ER department, trauma department at Duke University in North Carolina. And I'm living in Boca Raton, Florida. So we're very far away. She works the night shift. So she sleeps all day. I go to bed early.

So I'm awake all day. Anyways, we have to make time for each other. And in a lot of friendships, you have to make time. And I think that this is something that can be confused with people drifting apart. I think that there's a difference. I think if someone is meant to be a real true friend in your life, it's much easier to make the time for one another versus if it's something that's being forced, it's not going to be as easy.

And sometimes you're not supposed to continue these relationships. And I say that with, it's so hard for me to say that because I'm not that person. I'm the person who will continue to fight for friendships, relationships, let people walk all over me, make sure I'm doing the most that I can for someone. But I think the more times I got walked on, the more times I got hurt, the more I was able to accept the fact that I don't need to be everything for everyone. And where am I even going with this? I couldn't tell you.

I'm going to ditch whatever I was just saying. I'm just going to keep going on what I have written down. But anytime you have a falling out with someone, I want you to really, really evaluate what it is that happened. I know that in some cases it was miscommunication. It was one person was in a bad place and hurt you or vice versa. But in a lot of cases, if someone shows you their true colors once...

You should probably listen and you should probably see it through. And I don't even want this episode to be something where we're like targeting other people or talking about the ways that other people have hurt us. This is also an evaluation you can do within yourself. And I'm going to give you an example. There was this kid. Let's name him. We're not going to name him. There was this kid. And I had the biggest crush on him in high school. And then...

We had a falling out. We just kind of stopped talking and separated, drifted, whatever. Went our separate ways. And then we found each other again and we got super close again and we were kind of talking again. And he wanted things to become more serious. And I didn't think that I was ready for that. I knew that I wasn't ready for that. So I kind of just told myself I wasn't ready for a few months. And I eventually realized, like, I don't think I'm ever going to be ready. And then...

A few months go by after that, after we cut things off and we stop talking and we go back to just being friends who are there for each other. The same thing kind of happens again. He wants things to be more serious and I thought I did too, but like the more time that would pass, the more I would realize that that's not what I think I want. And I did the same thing. I hurt him again by just waiting and trying to figure it out. And I can pinky promise you that if that situation were to ever happen again, it would probably be the same outcome.

And now I say that because, you know, we're not always the victim. Sometimes, I don't want to say we're the problem, but sometimes, yeah, we're the problem. And sometimes we're responsible for hurting other people even if we don't want to be that person. It just happens because we are human. And you can't be perfect for everyone. And there's going to be times where you make mistakes and you hurt people's feelings and...

You can't avoid that, but you can grow every time and you can learn every time. And if you're willing to take from that and be better in the future, then you're doing just fine. Okay. There is no life without mistakes. There is no being a great person without messing up sometimes. And, um,

Yeah, just just evaluate those kind of things in your life. There are things that we don't even notice and the second time that that happened with this kid I was just that's when it clicked for me that I shouldn't have done that if I knew I should have said it from the start, but I didn't you know, I felt safe. I felt loved I felt comforted and I thought that that's what I wanted and it just wasn't so it wasn't ever done with bad intentions, but the point is

whoever it is that you might be going through that same situation with that might be the shoes that they're wearing they might be the one who's not ready and who may never be ready and if you feel like you're forcing someone to want to be with you or to want to be around you because I don't want this to just be like in a romantic setting I'm talking friends here too if you ever feel like you have to force someone to want you in their presence it's usually a clear sign that

That you deserve more than that. You deserve better than that. You deserve friends who are dying to be with you, who laugh when they're around you, who smile when they're around you, who light up when you walk into a room. Those are the kind of people that you deserve to have in your life. And there's been so many times I didn't know that and I didn't see that and I would feel so...

hated by my quote-unquote friends or disliked by my friends or like I had to be a different version of myself for my friends and we've talked about this on so many different episodes and it gets so hard to evaluate what's gone on where and how many times you guys have heard the same story or who's listened to what episode so please forgive me if I repeat stories or lessons whatever it is I just relearn them all in different light as life goes on

But I would hang around people who quite literally made me hate myself. That is a freaking sign from God that that is not someone I want to have in my life. But instead of knowing that and understanding my value and understanding my worth, I did the opposite. I changed, let me try to phrase this properly. They made me hate me. So, and I loved me at the time. I really did. I was confident in who I was and they would just make me feel small.

And unlovable. So instead of staying that version of me and finding new people that were going to love the version of me that I loved, I turned myself into a version of me that I didn't like so that they would love me. And this is a huge lesson and that's why I bring it up in so many episodes. Never change who you are for people that are temporary.

And I feel so strongly about this because I don't live a life of any regret. I learned so many lessons from when those things happened. But if there are a few things I would change in my life, it would be that. It would have been me walking away from a lot of those friendships way sooner than I did. And walking away from those friendships doesn't even have to mean you have to burn bridges. Someone makes you feel small.

You don't have to burn that bridge. You don't have to tell them, you make me feel like this and I hate you and I'm never speaking to you again. It doesn't have to be like that because the people pleaser in me would never allow that to happen. And these are still people where if we were ever in the same place, maybe we'd get lunch. Who knows? They were just friendships that were much healthier from a distance because I can still love myself. And...

You can walk away from things that make you feel that way because when you start giving people third chances and fourth chances, you get yourself caught in this cycle of just toxicity. And people don't fully change. People can change, and I'm not going to say that they never will. But for the most part, people's morals and people's values stay pretty true. They stay pretty real. And if someone has traits that...

You what's I don't know even the wording I'm looking for I'm gonna move on to the next point if it comes back to me it will but the moral of the story here on this front is that

There are going to be people that you're going to have to walk away from you're going to have to In a sense sometimes be the bigger person and I just want to give you another example and I think that this is why This topic was on my head this morning There are going to be people that you're going to have to walk away from you're going to have to In a sense sometimes be the bigger person and I just want to give you another example and I think that this is why This topic was on my head this morning. I

Had a let's we got another person another little story time without names or anything here that I was kind of talking to not even talking to. I built a friendship with this person in the beginning of the year. We were online friends for a while before that, but we all started hanging out. And I say we all because we had this little group of friends. We all started hanging out in the beginning of the year. And, you know, I thought that there was maybe like a little something there with me and one of the people in this friend group.

And there definitely was. I know I wasn't making anything up, but this person ended up getting back together with their ex-girlfriend. And I was like, okay, cool, whatever. This is why I don't get attached to anything because that would have hurt a lot more if I had let myself get attached. Kind of besides the point. But after that, this person would still kind of try to keep a friendship with me and try to keep me in his life even though, you know, obviously...

I'm not going to sit here and be an option. I'm not going to waste my time building a friendship when I know that this person is just keeping me around in case something happens. I don't know. I just, I think that I know my worth too much for that. And a past version of me would have loved that. Like I would have enjoyed the fact that I was still an option and he was still thinking about me and he still maybe wanted to be with me a little bit. But the version of me now, simply put, no.

I don't want to be an option. And if I am an option for someone, say they do choose me, whatever you want to call it, that's not the kind of person that I want to be my person. Because if they did that to the person that they were with, who's to say they're not going to do it to you? They will. And we don't want to accept that. It's another one of those hard pills to swallow. But evaluate the fact that if someone does you dirty once, they're going to do it again in a different way. And

Just evaluate who these people are. If they do you dirty once, is it... Are they... What's the word? Is it even worth it for them to come back into your life again? Do they hold enough value? Do they provide enough love and laughter and joy in your life? And if the answer is yes, then give people second chances. I can't sit here and preach to you not to give people second chances and give them the benefit of the doubt because...

I do it every time almost without fail. But these are just things I'm becoming aware of. And I just want to share with you in case you haven't gotten to a point of awareness when it comes to that. Because for a long time, I didn't. And I'm glad I do now. I might still make the same mistakes, but at least I know I'm making the mistakes, you know? At least they're not clueless mistakes. They're intentional. Okay, moving on. The next thing I kind of wrote down is that God really does leave us signs sometimes.

Even before someone hurts us once or someplace or something hurts us once. God or the universe tries to tell you that ahead of time. So don't keep your blinders on. Keep your eyes open. Pay attention to... This feels like such a negative episode from me. But that's not the intention of it. The intention of it is just to try to... whatever. It's not supposed to be all negative.

But be aware of red flags and be aware of the way that people in your life treat other people around you, how they treat your family, your friends, how they talk to you, how they talk about themselves. Like these are all just things to pay attention to. And they don't have to make or break anything. But you should be aware because I have known one too many people who have gotten into relationships that have ended very, very badly together.

Or have become very, very toxic. All because they didn't pay attention to the signs at the start or at the beginning. And they were just too blinded by the idea of this person or what this person could have been. The potential of this person. The potential of this relationship. And they end up getting really, really hurt. Verbally, physically, mentally, emotionally. All of the ways. So just keep your eyes open, okay? Don't allow yourself to be so blinded by infatuation that you...

disregard how someone might treat you once the hype is over or the chase is over. Just pay attention, okay? Write that down. Write that down. This episode is brought to you by Shopify. Whether you're selling a little or a lot.

Shopify helps you do your thing, however you cha-ching. From the launch your online shop stage, all the way to the we just hit a million orders stage. No matter what stage you're in, Shopify's there to help you grow. Sign up for a $1 per month trial period at shopify.com slash special offer, all lowercase. That's shopify.com slash special offer.

Get started with Greenlight today and get your first month free at greenlight.com slash spotify.

And then what else do I have right now? I also want to talk about how some things are simply bad for you in a fact that's way, way beyond people. I'm talking about like actual things, drugs, alcohol, sugar, too much of anything is bad for you. Right. But again, this is something where once you're taught something once,

You should know it's going to happen again. For me, let's take alcohol for example. Every time I drink too much and I wake up with an extremely bad hangover, it makes me feel the same way every time without fail. Do I keep doing it? Yes. But at least I'm aware that that is something that is simply just bad for me and it's not something I'm trying to justify anymore. I'm not trying to fix it. It's just something that I know. And honestly, if I want to...

Feel that hangover every once in a while I'm gonna do it because sometimes it's worth it to just you know have a great night My train of thought is all over the place seriously I just keep looking out the window, but the point is evaluate evaluate the pros and cons another thing that is simply bad for me gluten every time I eat gluten I have my stomach simply blow up physically and

And, like, it hurts a lot. And I wake up extra puffy. And I'm very intolerant to gluten. But I continue to eat it because I think that the reward is worth it. And there comes a point where you've got to realize that sometimes the reward is not worth it. I've had a friendship in the past that...

I love this girl with my whole entire heart and we were super close in high school but it was never really a two-sided friendship I really always felt like I was doing the heavy lifting and I was putting in the work and every time we would get in a fight I would be the one to fix it and to make right even if I never did wrong and I would do this over and over and over and over and over and I could do a whole episode just saying over because I did this so many times and I

It was just because she was hurting and that's really what it came down to. But it got to the point where I started to hurt because of how much I was trying to fix something that wasn't really going to ever be fixed. And I finally got to a point in my life where I just walked away from it and we're still both doing so great and amazing. And we still would, you know...

Happy birthday text still comes through every once in a while and we still reach out to each other every once in a while But it was one of those things that in high school It was just a lot stronger than it is now and there's nothing wrong with that It's okay and that's fine and you're going to move in different ways of life and in different paths of life and Sometimes you aren't meant to say best friends with the people that your best friends with now and I stay I say whoa

I feel so strongly about this because if you're listening and you're someone who's in high school, I think that that's when I struggled with my friendships the most. And then in college too. No, not really college, but let's say Hawaii. In Hawaii and in high school is when I struggled the most with my friendships because I was just trying to fix things that weren't meant to be fixed. And that really is the moral of the story here. Every time I keep losing my train of thought, that's what it comes right back to. So don't fix what isn't worth fixing.

Because a lot of times it just ends up hurting you more in the long run and you'll feel a lot better if you just take a step back. But back to things and places and people. There are going to be places that are bad for you. For me, one of those places was Hawaii. It was simply just bad for me. And...

Yeah, you know a lot of people are really quick to say, "Lexi, you lived in Hawaii and you think you're complaining about it?" First of all, no. Not complaining about it at all. That place taught me so many lessons. I created so many memories and I can't wait to tell my kids about the year that I lived in Hawaii. Does that mean it was somewhere that was good for me? No. Let's also think back to the one year that I went to college.

Had a blast, you know? I really have memories from there that I'm going to tell my kids about too. I built so many friendships in college that I'm going to hold on to for the rest of my life. Does that mean that place was good for me? No. I was depressed. I was working four jobs that I had no passion for. I was just doing and doing and doing and escaping my own emotions. So that's not necessarily a place that I think was ever good for me. And that's okay.

That's okay. There's nothing... I think that the reason I'm emphasizing so much that that's okay is because I know that a lot of us try to justify everything, try to make good with everything. And I think that you'll make the most good with it and you'll find the most peace about things falling apart or relationships falling apart or friendships or people, places, things, any of that. You'll feel the most peace about it if you just allow it to be what it was. When you think back on...

old flings or old relationships and the memories make you upset and you want to go back to the past, just allow those memories to simply be memories and don't attach anything to them. Just disattach. Is that a word? Not sure. Deattach? Whatever. Don't attach yourself to them. They are simply memories and they are memories that you get to have for the rest of your life and all of those good moments, they're not going anywhere. They're still there.

Just appreciate them and enjoy it for what it was and take the lessons that you learned and apply them to your life in the future. And it's going to draw even better people towards you. You got to be willing to learn lessons in this life. If we never learn lessons, that's when you come across adults who are just bitter and mean and have no desire to enjoy their lives or love.

I don't know, make their lives worth living. We've all met those kind of people. It's because they didn't want to learn lessons along the way and they just keep hurting themselves. And hurt people hurt people. And that's why, you know, when I meet really shitty old people, I just kind of got to have some sympathy for them. Say a prayer and hope that the universe or God brings them some love and some light because you can't change their minds, you know? Sometimes it's just like that. Anyways...

I think that that's really all I got. I didn't realize I was talking for 32 minutes already. But moral of the story here, there's going to be things you're going to have to walk away from. There are going to be things that aren't going to be part of your life forever. And I want you to work on just letting go of that and being okay with that and accepting it and honestly appreciating it and knowing that it's moving you further in the right direction and it's leading you to a more you version of yourself and being

Just pay attention to all those little things and know that the right people are going to come in your life and the right people are going to stay in your life and the right people aren't going to teach you. The right people aren't going to make you feel horrible. They're going to make you feel really good and they're going to make you feel loved and special and cherished. And if there are people in your life right now who are not doing that, just trust that the right ones will come. And I'm going to leave it at that. But I love you with my whole entire heart and I hope you have the best week ever.

I'll talk to you next Monday. Okay, bye.