Speed bumps we all cross at some point (part 2)
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Hello, my beautiful people. Welcome back to the Moments Podcast. It's your host, Lexi. I've never said that before. Maybe I have. And this is just a podcast about life. I take all the lessons that life has been teaching me and share them with you in any way that I can. And I always just pray and hope that there's something that you learn

And anybody listening is able to take away from this or something for you to share with somebody you love, whatever it may be. I hope this is a place that you come and you feel safe. That's always been my goal for this podcast. And that is always going to be the future goal of this podcast. And I have bright ideas that we will one day get to bringing to fruition, but

I feel myself kind of in a speed bump part of life, which is why this is a part two of last week's episode, what I call speed bumps. And speed bumps are just moments in our life that each of us face, all of us having different speed bumps, all of us on a different path, different struggles that make us feel kind of like we're slowing down or like we're falling behind. But the reality is just a speed bump is something that we just need to get over. And once we get past it, we can cruise and keep going on our path.

And honestly, the speed bumps are supposed to be on the path. You know, the speed bumps are in the neighborhood so that we don't hurt anybody and that we don't hurt ourselves and that we stay cautious and careful. And the moral of the story is these speed bumps are something that we want to experience, something that we need to go through. Even if they slow us down or they put us behind, they're completely normal. So as we go through this, there might be some

topics in here, some thoughts and feelings that you've experienced or that you know people in your life are experiencing and I hope they can just give you a little bit of awareness and understanding that you're not the only one feeling them and that you are going to get through them and that they are going to pass and even if they don't completely relate to your life, hopefully they can give you

some sympathy towards other people in your life who may be struggling with them or just some more awareness in general of the things that some of us might be feeling that we might not show. I was going through the Instagram story where I had you guys submit what your speed bumps are and I say this every time I talk about

any of these kinds of things on the podcast, like we are all going through the same things. It's crazy how just one of these topics was said by at least five different people. So it's just wild to see and it's wild to understand that so many of us are going through this and most of us only talk about it with our closest friends and the people that are nearest and dearest to us, which is beautiful. But it's also important to know that even the person that you meet

In the drive-thru or the person sitting next to you in class might be feeling the same things. So that's just something I find comforting. Some of these I have done episodes on before. For example, the first one is feeling like evolving your friendships and making them and losing them. That's what the speed bump feels like. We're at a very pivotal time in our life, whether that's high school or college or post-grad. Like each three of those moments are very important.

Pivotal, can I speak? No. Pivotal times in our friendships. Like we start to realize there are certain friendships that have only lasted this long because we were in the same environment and we were in the same classes and we hung around the same people. And now that we're separated, you realize maybe this isn't a person I was ever that close with.

These are the people that we don't necessarily miss when we're not talking to them. Or these are the people who don't reach out to you if you don't reach out to them. It sucks to grow out of friendships, but it's also completely normal. And it's also important to remember there are certain friendships that it doesn't matter the distance or the time apart when you get to get back together. It's like no time has passed. I have so many friends like this and it's honestly beautiful. It's very healthy to have friendships that you don't have to water every single day. But that's not to say...

the friendships that you do have to water every single day are unimportant or not as beautiful. There's just different connections with different people. And this is a time in our life where we're really going to start to feel those things. For so long, when we're younger, when we're in

elementary school, middle school, high school, we're in the same hometown as people. Like even if you wanted to distance yourself from certain friendships, you couldn't in a lot of cases because you were just constantly surrounded by these people and these friendships. And now we're at a point in our life where we can let them fall off if we need to. We're also at a point where it's important to focus on making friendships that are actually going to

Be good for you and help grow you and inspire you and we have all the power in the world right now to surround ourselves with people who are going to lift us up rather than bring us down and it's a hard thing to do and it's honestly been a big speed bump for me as well to find these friendships and go out of my way to create them because I have

really good little circle. I have like two best friends and honestly, that's really all I felt I've ever needed but there are always parts of me that want to go expand my female friendships and meet friends that have different hobbies and do different things and just open my mind to more friendships and it's something that I've been telling myself is a goal and

But I haven't been acting on it. So if you are in the same boat and you're like stuck at that speed bump to where it's kind of turned into a stop sign, let's like just press on the gas a tiny bit and make it an effort to have a valuable conversation with somebody that you have been wanting to build a stronger relationship with at least once a week. Whether that's making plans to go get coffee, whether that's just giving them a phone call, shooting them a text, going to the beach. It's summer. We have, well...

Some of us have a little bit more free time. Summer for me now, it's kind of so depressing. Me and my best friend were talking about this, how summer used to be no responsibilities, nothing but sunshine and a good time and a boat. And now it feels the same as every other part of the year, just hotter with more bugs. But I'm making it a goal to still make summer feel like summer. But

Moral of the story is some people have a little bit more free time in the summer. Use that to justify doing something on a weeknight. You don't have to go to bed at 7 p.m. every night. Trust me. I want to do the same thing too, but once a week, we're going to challenge ourselves to go build a new friendship, build a new relationship, have a valuable conversation, which actually kind of leads me to the next one is a lot of us feel like we're at a speed bump where we're

We're having a hard time opening up or communicating our feelings while keeping our emotions regulated. And this is something I struggle with quite a bit. Like, you know I'm very open and I'm very vulnerable. But when it comes to talking about the deep things that I'm feeling with people, I don't want to say people that actually matter because that's not what I'm trying to say. What I'm trying to say is people...

that the issue involves, people that the feelings involve. Like if something's making me anxious in my relationship with my boyfriend, my best friend, or my mom, I can find it very easy to open up about those feelings and that struggle with you guys per se, but much harder to open up about those feelings and that struggle with them.

So a lot of us struggle with that. And for me, when it comes to having those conversations, the difficult ones with the people that are involved in the situation, I tend to break down and I tend to let my emotions take over and I can't communicate the things that I want to properly. And I'm going to do these in like advice for opening up and then advice for opening up and communicating while keeping our emotions regulated and healthy.

So my tips for opening up is the sooner that you do it, the easier it is going to be. And I learned that very quickly in my relationship with my boyfriend. And this is something that was very new for me at the time. Like opening up to somebody when you know them and are getting to know them on such a deep level and you're spending so much time with them is really scary because you fear that if you tell somebody

this person about your deep-rooted feelings that might seem crazy to them because they haven't experienced it, or just for you is a lot to tell somebody about, whether that's past traumas or past struggles or why something makes you feel some kind of way. It's scary to open up to that person because so many of us are deeply afraid of losing that person or being rejected or not being loved as deeply because of that.

But the truth is, when you're with the right person, and this is so much more than just relationships, this is so much more than just my boyfriend, this is the same as if you were to talk to your family members about something, or your friends about something, or even people in your workplace that you're closer to. The sooner that you can open up about who you truly are, the sooner you'll understand if this is a person who should really be in your life. And it's kind of a hard pill to swallow because you're like, well,

I'd rather just wait. Like I could just probably push it off and push it off. And then eventually like they'll be in too deep once they figure it out and then they'll just be stuck. And this is something that almost went through my head. I'm like, do I want to open up about this? Like what if, what if he doesn't love this about me? What if she's not okay with this or whatever it is?

The sooner you do it, the sooner you will know if this is a person worth keeping around. And the sooner you open up to somebody, the sooner they will open up to you. And you will actually get to know each other so much deeper once you start talking about what you're really feeling. And I think before you open up to people, you have to evaluate what you're feeling. There's been so many times now where I've gotten really comfortable, especially with my boyfriend, about...

opening up and just saying whatever's on my mind and there will be times where I open up about what I'm feeling before I've evaluated what I'm feeling and I'll realize that I'm the one who's being a little bit selfish, a little bit overreactive, a little bit

one-sided with my feelings, if that makes sense. So always evaluate what it is you're feeling. And once you figure it out, once you've understood it and dissected it and journaled about it and really are set in stone in that feeling and that decision, open up to that person. Because the longer you wait to do it, the more you're going to hurt yourself if it doesn't go the way that you want to. And it's also important to recognize that

Sometimes opening up about your feelings isn't going to go as planned. Not everybody is comfortable with being vulnerable and hearing about other people's vulnerabilities, but the right people will be. And you also have to just give people

Some time to cope and to think. And when Gabe opens up to me about his feelings, there's so many parts of me that have like all these walls up and all these shelters up and all these guards up. And I have like this fighting armor on that. If he is telling me something about how he feels, I immediately want to defend myself or blame him.

And that's probably because I'm human and I have some sort of traumas very clearly that I'm working through and I'm figuring out. And my first reaction is to fight for myself because there were points in my life where I didn't know how to fight for myself. And I let people just use that to their advantage and walk all over me. And I'm sure many of us have been in that situation. So,

The same way that your walls might be up when somebody opens up to you, you need to recognize that their walls might be up. And sometimes things just need time to be in the air. But sometimes that takes time and it's an easy task to do. But like I said, my biggest piece of advice for that is the sooner that you do it, the sooner you understand your feelings, you should say them immediately because you don't want to hurt yourself or the other person more.

open up to your friends and to your family and to your partner about how much love you have inside of you, how much you love somebody. I think for a long time, I didn't want to open up about the sweetness in my heart because again, I have these walls up and these guards up and I've been taken advantage of in the past. I've been walked on like a doormat. I've let people use my kindness to just like be unkind to me.

So for so long, I kind of got afraid to open my heart and to love expressively and to love out loud. And I was nervous. We grew up in a world where like kind of now, if you show someone you like them too much, you push them away. But to me, in my reality, the more you love expressively and openly and the more love you put out into the world, the more kindness and everything that you share, the more love and light.

the better the world will be and the better you will, again, attract the right people into your life because if somebody doesn't want to be around you because you enjoy life too much, it says everything you need to know. So open up about how much you love people, how much you love your life, how grateful you are to be around. Now, I've gotten very carried away with opening up and my advice on that speed bump, but my next advice is how to open up

and regulate your emotions. Now, I don't know if I'm the best person to give you advice on this because it is something that I am working through constantly, but many of us are. When I am feeling something very heavy, like I said, what I encourage you to do is to take a step back. There's a saying, it's like think before you react. It's very common. We've all heard it or think before you speak. All of those things, so true. Take what you're feeling, back it up,

Are these feelings valid? All of our feelings are valid, of course. But like, am I, is this necessary? Is something that I ask myself often. If I want to start a fight, sometimes my hormones are just going crazy and I just feel like picking a fight or being a brat or taking my anger and my feelings and my heavy emotions out on the people that I love, whether that's Gabe, my best friend, my mom. Like I said, those tend to be the three people that I argue with the most in my life because they are the people that I treasure the most.

And it's human nature when we trust somebody, we pour our negativeness into them too, which is not a healthy thing. By no means am I encouraging you to pour all your shit onto the people that you love. But in the situations that you do, before you do that, take all that shit out on yourself. Pull out your journal, go for a walk, cry if you have to cry, scream if you have to scream,

Breathe if you need to breathe stretch if you need to stretch go to yoga go do a workout Sit with your emotions before you throw them onto somebody else Maybe I'm mad because my best friend did this but am I mad because my best friend did this or am I sad? Because I'm feeling insecure 90% of the time. I don't want to say 90 50% half the time half the time you

And I are the ones who are just struggling with something much deeper. So now, when you go to that person and you take that problem to them, boyfriend, friend, boss, whoever it is, when you go to that person with that problem, don't lead with, "You're a terrible person. I can't believe you went here and you did this without me." Lead with, "Hey, this is what happened.

It made me feel very insecure. Do you think that we can meet somewhere in the middle and just understand each other a little bit and our feelings a little bit? And I promise you that's a much better way to navigate an issue with somebody than to come at them. So meet people with kindness and understanding and evaluate a problem before you open up about it. And I think that that's going to be a much better way to communicate about problems and

while regulating your emotions. That's not to say you're not gonna have a breakdown while you're trying to talk to this person about the issue. I can have figured out a literal script of what I'm gonna say to my boyfriend about what I'm feeling and the second that I look into his eyes, I will be a wreck and my script will be completely all over the place. There's times when that's gonna happen. Again, we are humans with emotions that are going to sometimes be stronger than our words.

So allow that to happen and be with somebody that gives that grace and give other people that grace too. Don't shut somebody down when they're breaking down.

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Quick little intermission, you guys. We all know how important it is to prioritize the right things in our life. And maybe for you, that's prioritizing doing leg day at the gym or making sure you go for your hot girl walk. But how often are you prioritizing your mental health and making sure that therapy is a part of your weekly routine? If it's something that you've been open to, if it's something that you've been considering, I highly recommend BetterHelp. And thank you so much to BetterHelp for sponsoring this episode.

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feeling like a bother to the people around us. And honestly, yeah, this is one I've been stuck on a little bit, but I've been really trying to remind myself of the things I'm about to tell you. The first one is that when you have this mindset that you are a burden and a bother to people, and I say this like I'm talking to myself, it is so tired and dramatic.

Okay, stand up, know your worth, know who you are and know that you are not a bother to people. Because I really think that having that mindset that you are a bother makes you more of a bother. Like I notice when I'm constantly telling people around me, like, I'm so sorry, I'm just so draining and obnoxious to be around. The more I set that narrative and I emphasize that narrative,

the more I'm gonna be a bother and a drainer and an exhorster to be around. We create who we are. So shift your mindset into recognizing that you, one, are not a burden. You're not a bother. But two, like, stand up. Just literally stand up and start talking to yourself with more kindness and start acting like you're not that. Like, fake it till you make it, honestly, and evaluate, too,

Who you are as a friend. What distance would you go with your friends? How much would you be there for them? Then recognize if there's people who are doing that for you, keep them around. And if there's people who do make you feel like a burden and they constantly remind you of that, even if you are doing the best that you can, maybe that's not somebody you want to keep around. Because maybe that's why you feel like a burden.

Everybody's situation is different. Every single one of us are going through something different. Like, if you would have asked me two days ago if I was being a burden, I would have probably cried the second that you asked it and I would have been like, "Yeah, I'm just so draining to everybody and I'm not pouring into myself so I have nothing to share, nothing to give other people." And I was giving myself that sappy, sad narrative, which is completely normal and okay to face sometimes.

but it is equally normal and okay and important to stand up and recognize, I don't want to feel like that anymore. So I am going to get independent. I'm going to start making goals for myself and doing them and taking action and control over my own life once again. Both of those phases are things that you're going to have to go through, but you are not a burden. And if you feel like you are, get independent. Make a friend of yourself. That's so important. And we've talked about that

countless times on this podcast. Like, we don't even need to get into it because we just know that this is something that I constantly say. But considering it is something that somebody said,

Some of us are at a speed bump where we're scared to do things alone. We're scared to be independent because whether that is we live in our parents' house and our parents have helped us with most things or we're in a relationship where you do most things with your partner or your partner helps you with things or you pour into friendships and you have really strong friendships so you never go out to eat alone or you never go to the store alone or you never call to pick up your food alone.

Whatever way that might be, a lot of us have that speed bump. And the importance, my advice towards the people who are at that speed bump is to recognize that you have a friend in yourself. You are not alone. For so many reasons, you are not alone when you go do things just because you're physically alone. It doesn't mean you're spiritually alone. For me, when I do get nervous to do things alone, I remind myself, Jesus literally lives within me.

And I don't have to do this alone. I don't have to be alone. But I also, on the contrary, remind myself that it's important to do things physically alone. It's important to formulate your own thoughts, hobbies, morals alone. Because you never want to become somebody based on the people that are around you or based on the things that we consume. Like, yes, that's all going to shape who we are in a beautiful way. But you want to have your own thoughts.

thought patterns too. And it is so important to do so because you want to know who you are. Because once you know who you are, you attract the right people into your life. So those of you who are scared to do things alone right now, start small. Start simple. Walk around your neighborhood. Go sit and watch the sunset. Bring your journal. Go read a book alone because then you can start there. You're in your own little fantasy lane. You're really in a different world. So you're alone, but you're also with all these characters that you're reading about.

That's a great first way to be alone. Then bring a journal. Write about your own feelings and just take it one step at a time. You don't have to go from never doing anything alone to going to a crowded restaurant and eating by yourself. That's not the way I recommend getting to know yourself. Not at all. I would be so freaked out in that situation. But start small and make you a priority. Look at yourself as a new friendship that you are creating.

That's something that I'm trying to do right now too, is like rebuild the friendship that I once had with myself. The energy we put out is the energy that we are going to get back. And this has proven true tenfold, ten million times I've rediscovered. The energy that I put out into the world is exactly what I get back. If I walk around this world saying, oh, so sad and I'm so anxious and I'm so confused and lost.

That's what I'm going to get. I'm going to get more confused, lost, and sad, and anxious. The second I switch that narrative, and that's not to say the cycle won't happen again. We're humans. The second I go into the world with my shoulders back and my chin up and my heart open and my love showing, and I go into the world with a kindness and with a comfort and with a desire to just be the best version of myself, that's the energy that I get back.

And it shows. And whether it's a placebo effect or not, it works. So stand up straight. Go do something that scares you and do it alone. And you'll be really proud of yourself. And I promise it's very important. The next one is being the speed bump of being socially awkward. And let me tell you, guys, let me tell you, this is a big one for me. This is one we have talked about on this podcast many times.

It is very scary and very intimidating going into a room, a crowded room, and figuring out how to talk to people. For some people, they have the gift of conversating. They have the gift of small talk. And I look at those people and I envy them because in my head, no matter how much mental preparation I do before I go into a crowded room or I know I have to have a conversation with, whether it's somebody from high school or somebody from work, somebody new,

I can have a whole plan of what I'm going to say to them. And you guys know this is part of the reason I get really anxious to have people on the podcast. I'll go up to them. And my brain will turn off. Turn off. I do a good job at faking it until I make it. But...

I get an anxiety in social settings like no other. And, you know, considering what I just said about we have to take control of our mindset and the way that we carry ourselves, this goes the same, same exact advice for this social anxiousness and this social awkwardness and small talking conversations. The more you think about it, the more you worry about it, the more you fear it, the worse the outcome is going to be. The worse your brain's going to fart and it's going to turn off.

The more you just let life happen and you just let things go and the more you breathe and the more you physically calm your nervous system,

the easier it's going to be take a few deep breaths before you go and you don't want to go into a social setting where your heart's beating so fast your hands are sweating and sometimes it's unavoidable my body physically reacts even when i'm convincing myself not to mentally react like no matter where i go my armpits are sweating i can't wear t-shirts anywhere because i get so anxious that my armpits will drip down if i was wearing a t-shirt i'd have some crazy sweat stains and i use clinical strength deodorant that's my flaw that's my thing that's what happens but

Breathe breathe through things. Okay go into things with where your mind is Just take over it use it like a little video game play with your brain like it's a video game go into the settings that one scared you instead of Doubting yourself and knowing that your brains gonna turn off you're not gonna know what to say fake it till you make it Walk into a room and be like I got this I am gifted in small talk and conversating and I will go talk to this person about who knows what it helps and

My other piece of advice for that speed bump is to also just recognize that nobody is paying attention. I think part of the reason I get anxious sometimes in social settings is because I fear other people are going to judge me and I feel that people are going to perceive me and I don't like to be perceived because I just get anxious about what other people think. I worry what other people think about me and that's something we should all get rid of. But

to that point. Nobody is. Everybody's worried about themselves. When you walk into a room and you're anxious, I keep going to the word anxious, it's just like that seems to be on repeat in my brain right now. You're nervous about people looking at your eyebrows and realizing they're not done. They're not. They're worried about their eyebrows and realizing whether they're done or not. They're worried about their hair not being voluminous enough. They just see you as a glowing, vibrant soul that walked into a room. If anything, we're all just judging ourselves.

When's the last time you walked into a room and started judging people? If you did, maybe you should backtrack and like evaluate yourself, evaluate your heart. That's the last thing you should be doing is judging other people. But I'm sure that most of you listening to this are not those kind of people.

You don't walk into a room and look at what that person's body looks like or what that person's skin looks like or their hair. You're only thinking about your own. And most people are too. So remember that. And that helps me a lot when it comes to social settings. But I encourage you to just, again, start small. You just have to start somewhere. Go to a little couple's dinner. If you have a boyfriend and your boyfriend's got a friend, couple, whatever it may be.

And if you don't, go to a dinner with your best friend and her other best friend or a friend and a friend or go to dinner with a classmate. It doesn't have to be dinner. Just challenge yourself in a small way. You don't have to go from being alone all the time to giving a TED talk. No, but make baby steps. Make progress.

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This actually led me to another one. A lot of us feel stuck on comparison and I fall down this trap very often and I'm going to combine two. I'm going to combine consuming media. I called it getting stuck in the scroll. That's the speed bump I'm talking about here with comparison because I do believe the two go hand in hand. I think a lot of the reason that so many of us struggle with comparison is

Is because we're stuck in the scroll and stuck in the scroll doesn't mean we can't get out of bed and we scroll for 18 hours. That's not what I'm saying. But I mean, being stuck in the scroll where like our mind and our ideas and our thoughts and our feelings are controlled by the scroll, controlled by what we're seeing other people do.

and what other people are talking about and saying and how they're dressing and what they're wearing. And I think that comparison looks a lot different than inspiration.

And I think most of us know in our guts where that difference is and where that line lies. And a lot of us like to teeter-totter the line. I like to teeter-totter the line because sometimes I'll be on TikTok and I'll be like, oh, this is so good for me. I'm getting so many ideas. Like, I love this person's outfit. I love what this person's doing. Oh my God, this person's in Spain. Oh my God, this person's doing this. Okay. And then my brain starts to go kind of down the spiral.

And I tend to just justify all those dark feelings of comparison and I'm like, "Oh no, that's so inspiring." Girl, you know when something is inspiring you and when something is putting you into a deep dark hole. We are all on different chapters in different books. You've heard it a million times, I've said it a million times, but that's the point blank period reality of how it is. You are not in the same book as that person. That person is an ER nurse. You don't even have a degree. And I'm talking to myself when I say that.

I'm not going to be in the same book as her. My accomplishments are going to look much different than hers. And I can applaud somebody just because I can't do something because I'm not reading that book. And even, you know what, if we are reading the same book, you can still applaud people. You still don't need to compare yourself because God's got a plan for each and every one of us. Or the universe has a plan for each and every one of us. Whatever it is you believe, there's something bigger than you. And most of us can speak to that.

Most of us can understand that and feel it and have faith in that. And you are one of a kind. And it's simply put. I don't have to just remind you of that over and over and over again and say it in a million different ways like I always do. There is nothing for you to compare yourself to because you are you for a reason. And it's hard not to. And if you are stuck in that scroll and you can't stop comparing, I encourage you to set time limits for yourself. And this is something I did. And I would always just turn off the time limits. I would cancel them and be like, no, one more hour.

15 more minutes, 30 more minutes, whatever it may be. I also removed these apps from my home screen. I really do recommend that. But now they've been removed from my home screen for so long that I just search them. And I'm like, yeah, whatever, search. Easy, look, I'm back. No, okay, we're not gonna do that. We're gonna just get it through our head that what we're consuming isn't good for us.

This has been a huge speed bump for me lately with my career, with my self-worth, with my relationship. I have been letting social media control my thoughts way too much. And this is something I actually would like to do a whole episode on because it's something that's really not just vulnerable and deep for me, but I think vulnerable and deep for all of us because a lot of us subconsciously experience this.

Anyways, we'll save that for an episode either next week or a couple weeks from now or who knows in Lexi time it could be six months from now, but mentally recognize when something's not good for you anymore. For the past two days, I've been really, really recognizing that like I just said, the social media was doing too much in my brain and it had too much power over me and I told myself I am not allowed to scroll today. I accidentally opened Instagram and TikTok a couple times. That's

I already feel a world of a difference when I'm the one who's constructing my own thoughts and not the little six inch rectangle. I don't know how many inches the iPhone is, but you get the point. I don't want that rectangle controlling my thoughts. I want to control them. So don't scroll when you wake up. Don't scroll when you go to bed. Don't scroll when you have free time. Do something else. Whether that's go through your own camera roll or make your own videos. Give yourself allotted time periods and give yourself time limits.

Because it will make a world of the difference in the way that you are viewing comparison and the way that you are feeling it. And I can promise you that social media is too much. We're not made to consume as much of it as we are. Okay? Now, let me pick one more thing. What's a very important one here. This also kind of goes into comparison. Our feeling, this speed bump of unworthiness. We're feeling imposter syndrome. We don't know how to be proud of ourselves.

I have been struggling with this one big time, which is why I find it so important to talk about. We are also mostly, if you're at an age listening to this, I assume you're between 14 and 30. It's rare that there's listeners outside of that age group. But again, very pivotal times in our life, very important times in our life. And I know that's a big chunk of numbers, but most of these feelings are

start when we're young and carry out with us till we're old. But this unworthiness and this imposter syndrome, I think it's important for us to recognize that we kind of aren't to blame for this. Society's to blame for this a little bit, especially in a world where hustle culture is pushed upon us in every single direction at every angle where it feels like every room is caving in on us because we're

Well, if you're doing enough in your career, then you're not doing enough in your relationship. If you're doing enough in your relationship, you're not doing enough in your family time. If you're spending time with your family, you're not spending enough time with yourself. If you're publishing a journal, well, then you're not getting a degree. If you're focusing on school, then you're not making enough money. If you're making too much money, then you are not prioritizing the community. The world is never satisfied.

And when we feed into that narrative and we eat the little crumbs and tidbits and pieces that society and media pushes upon us, we're constantly going to feel unworthy. We're constantly going to feel like what we've done isn't good enough. That's just the way our world is. And it's unfortunate. And it's not even a negative thing because we do have the control to recognize that, hey, you know what? I've done some beautiful things in this lifetime. And it may not be as much as

that person who's on the news has done, but so what? Congratulations to that person and congratulations to me. This is a mindset. The unworthiness and the imposter syndrome, if you constantly vocalize that you have that problem, that you are unworthy, that you're not doing enough, of course you're going to feel like you're not doing enough. I speak this so passionately because it's something that I've been doing so heavily to myself.

Okay, if you view yourself as this sad loser never doing enough kind of person You're only going to feel more like that and you're going to make people around you believe that that's what you are Again stand up shoulders back. Okay Know who you are be proud of what you've accomplished be proud of what you're going to do Have goals have dreams and if they're crazy, they're crazy But be proud of yourself where you are where you've been and where you're going

It's simple. I think that helps a lot with the imposter syndrome. I think that so many of these things, yes, we, they are complicated and they are deep. And there's so many factors to take into account when we, when we face these problems and everybody's situation is different. But I think so many of us make these problems deeper than they need to be. Some of them are an easy fix. Some of them, we just need to literally zoom out and recognize like, this doesn't have to be a problem if I don't make it one.

I can choose whether this is gonna bother me today or whether it's not. I can choose if I'm gonna consume the thing that I know is gonna make me feel bad about myself. I can choose if I'm going to believe that thing that I saw, that article that I read. I can choose if I'm gonna be a douchebag today or if I'm gonna have an open heart and a kind soul. Those are things that are in my power. Things are gonna happen out of our control, 100%. We're gonna go through a lot of shit. We're going to struggle with a lot of things.

But pay attention to what is in your control. And I think that that's going to help you over so many of these speed bumps. I'm in this with you. I'm not saying our speed bumps are going to end the second that we

Change our mindset. No, but we can do our best and I'll do my best and you'll do your best and we will One day at a time be better and feel better and be happier because that's what life is about Life is about enjoying where you are being proud of yourself being proud of the people around you loving the people around you Recognizing that if you have a roof over your head a heart that is beating lungs that are capable family that loves you family that's alive friendships that are alive and

relationships that are healthy, then everything else is really okay. And it's such a cliche kind of thing to talk about and to say, but it's always a good reminder. And oftentimes when I hear that reminder, I'm just like, please shut up. Please shut up. You don't get it. And you're right. You're right. I probably don't get it. I don't know what your situation is. I don't know what you're going through, but I do want you to recognize that we're breathing. Anyways,

I love you so much. I'm so proud of you. I'm so grateful for you.

I will talk to you guys next Monday. Thanks for listening to the moments podcast. Don't forget to follow on Instagram, follow on Tik TOK. You guys can follow my personal account. I'll put it all in the description. And if you want to journal a little bit more, you can purchase the moments journal on my website, which is the moments pod.com. And also go shop Kulani Keeney's electric sunshine. That's a little swimsuit collection I did with them and it's been so much fun, but yeah, that's enough of my spiel. I love you guys. Thanks for listening. I'm so proud of you every single day.