Things I should've listened to in high school
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Hello my beautiful people. Welcome back to the Moments Podcast. Hope everybody's having the most beautiful week. Well, hope you have a good week. I hope you recognize that it is a new week to make yours, to set intentions, to make it be a week that you will look back and be proud of or appreciate or remember. Whatever you want to do. Anyways, what we're talking about today is

It's something that I made a TikTok about yesterday and a bunch of people were like, hey, can you make this a longer episode? Can we talk about this for a little bit longer? And I said, absolutely, because honestly, that was kind of the plan originally. And this is an episode I've wanted to do for quite some time. And maybe I've touched on before.

before, but I want to talk to you about things I wish I listened to in high school, advice I wish I had taken, or anything along those lines. Just high school in general, high school tips, high school pieces of information for reference. I haven't been to high school in seven years now, something like that, more. Oh my God, that makes me feel so old. Maybe not that long, but I'm 23 and I was in high school from the

to 19, to 18. Wow, I am old. Anyways, there's a lot of things I was told in high school that I refused to listen to because the way that our mind changes and develops in five years, six years is beyond me. So take this as somebody who's been through high school at the time that I went through it

These are the things I'm glad that I listened to or I wish I applied a little bit more to my life. And of course, take everything that I say with a grain of salt. We live in a very different day and age than we did when I was in high school. This was like pre-TikTok. Anyways, I'm just going to shut up and I'm going to get to the point. But if any of this is like really important,

not applicable to your life, just move on. Take another one. But I'm saying all of this from my heart, from my experience, from who I am now, who I was then. Take it as you want. And the first one, one that we have all heard, sorry, yawning, countless times before, is to respect your elders. And I know that this can be hard to do, especially with a whole bunch of boomers bouncing around telling you to cover up your shoulders, wear longer pants,

Being absurd, being unkind, being rude, because there are just a lot of older people who are mean to young kids. But that being said, I'm not saying you 100% have to listen to everything that older people have to say, anything that your teachers, guidance counselors, deans, administrators. I'm not saying you have to listen to the detail to everything that they say, but you owe your teachers and your guidance counselors and your administrators respect.

We owe every adult respect in this lifetime. And that was something that was very normalized to not do when I was in high school. Teachers were...

blatantly disrespected by so many students and so many of my friends. And that is one piece of advice I'm so grateful that I listened to was to be kind to my teachers, not only respect them, but to be kind to them, to build a relationship with them. Because the truth is, once you get out of college or out of high school, you recognize that your teachers were never that much older than you. Your teachers could be people that you could potentially consider

continue a relationship with. There are a lot of teachers that I had in elementary school, in middle school, in high school that I have now befriended on Facebook that I keep in touch with, that we follow along with each other in our lives. And you never know when you're going to need a teacher, when you're going to need that adult or come across somebody who's friends with that adult. You want to network and build connections with

especially while you're in high school. If you spend all of high school disrespecting your teachers, okay, being unkind, never doing your work, never apologizing for things that you do wrong, and you go to get a job a few years later, right out of college, and your teacher happens to know the boss of the company that you want to work at,

Do you know what that teacher is going to say? I know I'm thinking way into the future here. And later in this episode, I'm going to tell you that your grades don't matter that much. But I can promise you this does. The impression that you leave on people, especially adults, is very, very long lasting. Yes, a lot of adults are going to recognize that you were just a kid and you've grown up and you're probably much more mature and respectful now, but not every adult.

So respect your teachers, build your relationships with them because you never know when you're going to need them later, when they're going to need you. You just never know. And I'll get into this even deeper later too, but essentially be kind to everybody and respect everyone, teacher or not. Now, speaking of respecting our elders and people older than us, the next one is to respect your parents. And I can recognize that this is

more of a sticky situation for a lot of people. I know that there are people who don't have a good relationship with their parents and who have parents who are genuinely messed up and not looking out for them. But I can promise you, I can assure you that most of the time in most situations, your parents being strict or telling you you can't go somewhere or you can't hang out with somebody is

is a sign that they protect they want to protect you and they care about you and they are looking out for you I recognize how easy it is to get mad at your parents and to despise your parents for them telling you no you can't hang out with that specific person anymore or you can't go to that party or you can't go on the boat with all these people they're just looking out for you

They want you to be safe. They want you to be surrounding yourself with the right people. And I was always so mean to my parents. I genuinely gave them the hardest time about not letting me do things. And my mom was somebody who always wanted to know exactly who I was hanging out with. She wanted to know where I was going, what time I was going to be home, who was going to be there. My mom would always care about who I was with.

And a lot of the people that I wanted, quote unquote, like really wanted to be friends with at the time, their parents didn't care what they did. I'm telling you, they could stay out till four in the morning. They could go hang out with whoever they wanted. Boys, girls did not matter. Do anything. Go to festivals. My parents were never like that. And when I was in high school, the most important thing to me was to be popular.

I thought that's all that matters. That's how I became successful in life was who I knew, who I hung out with, what I got invited to. That's what mattered to me. So

My mom wouldn't let me go to these things that I was dying to get invited to and I finally got invited to. I was so pissed off and I was such a bitch. Sorry for my language to my parents. And one of my biggest regrets, and I have very few regrets in my life, was being that way towards them because I am at an age now where I could see myself having a daughter sooner rather than later. And

I am going to be the exact same way because I know the way that I love my friends and my dog and my boyfriend and I, even with them, want to know where they are, what they're doing, who they're hanging out with. So I can imagine when I have my own child, baby girl or baby boy, I'm going to be very aware of who they're hanging out with as well, which leads me to my next thing. My mom always told me, you are guilty by association.

And I know that everybody has a completely different high school experience in the sense that I have no idea what people were doing or are doing that you're surrounding yourself with.

But when I was in high school, there were a lot of kids getting into really gnarly things at the ripe age of 14 and 15. People were doing drugs, going to crazy festivals that you're not supposed to go to until you're 18. Obviously, they were drinking. And my mom knew. My parents were very much aware of the fact that

That I was going to get into things. I was going to drink. I was going to go to parties. They knew that was going to happen because they knew who they were in high school and how they were. And they expected these things of me. But the one thing that they always, always told me and they never budged on and I'm so grateful that they did was,

You don't have to do things just because other people are doing things. And you will never touch a drug. And I am so grateful that I never found drugs to be something that I wanted to participate in in high school. And I want you to take everything else I say with a grain of salt, but I want you to take this and take it to your heart. And I know you've heard it from a million parents, a million people. You're probably sick of hearing it. Do not do drugs.

I know that it might be tempting. People make it look fun. I'm sure that it is fun. And now I'm 23 and I've still never, I've touched one drug, one that grows from the ground. But I do not recommend anybody to do any of that, especially when we are so young. Our brains don't fully develop until we're 25 years old.

I'm 23 right now. My brain has even fully developed and I feel so grown up. I feel so adult. Imagine how much developing your brain still has to do when you are 15 and 16 years old. There is no need to take something to alter your brain chemistry when you are so young. You are going to screw yourself up for the rest of your life.

Maybe not in a way that you realize you might know older I know friends who still do drugs who don't seem like they're messed up in the brain at all and they're not They're not this isn't judgment against people who have done drugs or do them This is a reminder to tell you that it's not necessary You don't have to do it to be cool. You don't have to do it to have fun. You can enjoy yourself and

Just existing and that's not to say don't drink which alcohol is equally as much of a drug and I feel strongly about Drinking less often now, but in high school heck no I was pouring shots down everybody's throat my favorite thing was to go to parties and get drunk Do I wish I didn't do that like no because it shaped me and

But at the same time, there was no need for me to do that. That's one of those things I wish I listened to a little bit more. But I'm also very glad that I learned my lesson and experienced then because I think I had enough fun in high school and college that now alcohol for me is just not something I'm really interested in partaking in, at least not nearly as often as I used to. All that to be said, don't touch drugs. There's no need.

No, no, no, no, no need. Especially now when we live in a day and age where I personally have three friends, three friends that I went to college with who have passed away because of drug use. Whether it's an overdose, whether it's because something was laced, whether it's because their friends didn't recognize that they were having seizures on the floor because everybody was messed up. There are so many horror stories.

Be the one to not get involved and be the one to save somebody else who does make a mistake. Be the one who's socially aware enough to save a friend. Even if you're not doing it, be aware of who you're around and when they're doing it and what they're doing because you are guilty by association. If you...

Get pulled over or something and you aren't doing anything bad But your friend is and they're driving the car you are also in trouble You now have a reputation like that following you just because you aren't the one doing it if you're surrounding yourselves with people who are Doing bad things you're equally as much at fault and that's something my mom's always taught me not directly you're not gonna go to jail if your friends drinking and driving and you're not and

But just don't do it. OK, because following that, you become the people you surround yourself with. And I think in high school, this is a little bit different because I don't know, friend groups are bigger and different and it's more complicated. But you become who you hang out with. If you are in a room with 10 other people and they're all smoking cigarettes, you're going to be the 11th person to smoke a cigarette.

I've heard that a million times before in a million different ways, but you become who you hang out with. If you were in a group of people who disrespect others, like for fun, you're going to become somebody that does that as well because eventually you accept that that's their normal and that becomes your normal. And it doesn't have to, but you have to first gain an awareness of who it is you're surrounding yourself with. Because when I was in high school, all I wanted to do was be in this group, be in the group of people that

At the time, I didn't realize how unkind and judgmental and bad these people were for me or to be around. But because they were the most popular in high school, I just wanted to be around them. But the reality of it was those are the people who are now doing lots of drugs or selling drugs or... This isn't to say all of the popular kids in high school get into that. Not at all whatsoever. This is just a...

reminder that you got, pay attention to who you're trying to become. Like I wish that I could put myself back in my high school shoes. The last thing that I would have done was want to get invited to the popular kid parties. When you're in high school, surround yourself with people who actually make you feel good and who are kind to you. This goes to my next point. Don't be mean. Be somebody in high school who is kind to everybody. One of my only regrets looking back

is that I wish more than anything I was less judgmental. I was really kind on the surface. I was nice to everybody. And honestly, I did make friends with most people. But I do think that under the surface, I'm a very different person now than I was then. There were parts of me that held judgment, that held resentment, who didn't like people for the wrong reasons just because of who they were or what they did.

And it makes me sad to think that I was once somebody like that. But I think that so many of us are like that in high school, even if we don't realize it. Like, don't joke on people. Don't disrespect people because they do things differently than you or they like different things than you or they're involved in different activities than you. Like, I was in ROTC, which is the military program. And throughout the whole time, I would, like, mentally...

make fun of the other people who were in it because I wasn't in it because I wanted to be. I was in it because I had to be to go to this school.

And I look back now and, you know, that program is the thing that I am the most grateful for. One of the most grateful thing. One of the things I'm most grateful for from high school and especially the people in it. The people in there were so focused on their future and they were so driven and disciplined and such kind and incredible people. And I couldn't see that because all I could see was the surface level idea that these people were uncool.

And I think that so many of us get sucked into that in high school. And I just want you to recognize and be aware that you have the ability to be a kind person. You have the ability to love everybody without judgment. And you should. And you should respect other people's opinions, choices of activity, their extracurriculars, the clubs that they're in, the things that are priorities to them.

I don't know. Another thing that I think a lot of people made fun of in high school was, you know, quote unquote theater kids. And now all of these actors and actresses that we love were all theater kids in high school. It's just something to think about. Everybody's got a different path and everybody is going to find their purpose. And what they do in high school doesn't matter. And it is never a reason to be harsh or unkind or uninclude or leave anybody out.

I know that might sound like common sense, but I'm just really reflecting on things I wish I listened to when I was in high school. And one of those things was to be just kinder and loving to every individual. This episode of the Moments podcast is sponsored by BetterHelp.

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Speaking of love, I was never somebody who had a relationship in high school and it's something that I'm actually really glad I didn't. So if you are single in high school and you let it get to you and it makes you upset, don't. Okay. High school is a really important time and college for us to find ourselves and to figure ourselves out. That being said, there's a lot of high school relationships that are so great, but I think that a lot of

Of guys not all in high school and in college aren't dating you Because or partners in general isn't just girls and guys it's anyone most people who are looking for a partner in high school or college Aren't looking for a long-term Marry type of partner. They're looking for something else and by that something else I mean

sexual things. And I do feel very strongly about this one. I know that this opinion can be controversial and where all this is coming from isn't a place of judgment. This is a place of like my genuine insight and advice and experience. And I just really want to preface that before I talk a little bit more about hookup culture and getting with people and having sex when you're young. Do it as you want, but take my advice with a grain of salt.

I think that your body is a temple. And I think that especially in high school and college, when guys, not actually just high school and college, all of the time, this is just the male species, tend to be more focused on sex than a relationship. And I emphasize high school and college because this is when guys really start to get the testosterone flowing, the blood gets flowing. This is when

guys get their first taste of this kind of thing and they love it. And I'm sure that some females do too. But I also know that as females, we can be more emotional. We can care more about other people and less about the sexual activity that happens when you get in a relationship, if that makes any sense. Like we care more about the love and the conversations and the things that you get to do together and the experiences and the

Again, this isn't to say that every man in high school and college doesn't care about this. There's really good ones out there, but there's also really bad guys out there, really bad people out there who just want you for your body. And I want you to recognize your body as the temple that it is. I want you to recognize that you are worth so much more than just what's underneath your clothes. And I felt in high school, oftentimes, that

There were so many guys that I really, really liked that only wanted me for that. And I remember one time specifically, it was my senior year. At this point, most of the people that I knew, most of my friends had already lost their virginity and I hadn't. And like part of me wanted to, not part of me. I wanted to just because all of my friends had. And that says enough about everything.

I was ready to give up such a big part of myself just because all of the people around me had and I felt left out or I felt behind and I felt stupid that I hadn't and I felt ugly because I hadn't. None of that is true. There is no rush. If you want to wait for the right person, there is no rush to do so. And that is honestly what I highly encourage you do. Besides the point, I

Was the only real virgin I guess left out of all of my friends and everybody that I knew in high school and I had a really big crush on this one guy He had been in a long-term relationship They had broken up a few months prior and this guy was like taking me on dates and he made me feel like he really liked me And i'm sure there were signs that that's not what his intentions were But when you're young and you're blinded by love and excitement and you really are a hopeless romantic It's a lot harder to see those signs but

I was house sitting and like I had him stay over one day and all he wanted to do was that and I was like dude no we've gone on two dates I have no interest in doing those things with you yet I don't even know you you don't know me it makes me uncomfortable I've always been scared of intimacy and I opened up to him about all of this because I guess it's just something I felt

Felt I could do. And I did. And the next night, meanwhile, I had a really big crush on this guy. The next night there was like another party and he slept with one of my really close friends at the time. And I was so upset. I was heartbroken.

But that also woke me up and really made me realize guys are not in it for the right reasons a lot of the time. And I know there are people who have similar stories and have been played in similar ways. And the unfortunate truth is that even if I had slept with him that night, he probably still would have slept with my friend the next night. Okay. Boys are ruthless. Girls are ruthless. Everybody is ruthless, but don't be one of those people.

Respect your body and know that people need to earn a chance to get to see it, touch it, feel it, whatever it may be. That's not something that you owe anybody. And I think it is really common for people to, especially now, make you think that that's owed. Somebody takes you on a date. If somebody's nice to you for a week, never. You, if you feel that you don't think somebody deserves that in you,

for months, then you make sure you are with somebody who respects that. Because the person who is going to be your partner, who's going to... Anybody that actually loves you for the right reasons is going to respect that. And they are going to make sure that they do everything in their power to earn it. Because I am with you. I think that you...

somebody needs to prove themselves to you before that can ever even happen and That is one thing. I'm really glad that I did in high school I'm really glad I didn't fall into the trap of just getting with people to get with people and I know that now saying that is Controversial because there are so many females who are like but it's for empowerment and if that's how you see it I'm not here to judge that but I'm here to tell you that if you see it opposite of

And you know you're worth enough to recognize that, like, not everybody needs... Not everybody gets to have that part of you because I'm also somebody who believes when you sleep with somebody, when you are connected that emotionally and intensely, your souls are tied together. You are connected to that person. I also was never somebody who had casual sex. Ever. Ever. I just...

Really feel strongly that especially when you are so young. I'm getting way ahead of myself in this conversation. I'm talking about high school here. When you are so young and so impressionable, that's when I really want you to remember the most that you need to respect yourself and you need to make sure you don't let a man or a woman or anybody enter that intimately until you are ready. There were so many times in high school where I could have fallen into a really bad trap.

and I didn't. So just remember that the next time you feel peer pressured into doing

Anything, really.

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I know how heavy high school can be. I know how heavily I felt a lot of the things that I felt in high school. I would feel so broken over failing a test or missing a party or not going being able to go to a football game or not having a date or getting a bad grade or having a fight with my friend group. All of these things I felt so heavily.

And I don't say this to invalidate anybody's feelings because I know exactly what it felt like. It feels like the world is caving in sometimes. You have so much life ahead of you. You are truly just getting started. There is so much to look forward to. You have potentially four more years of school or a whole lifetime of experiences to come. High school doesn't matter. You have...

So much time to get it figured out if you don't know who you want to be Where you want to go to college what you want to do for work? What kind of person you are that's okay because you have all of the time in the world to figure it out and I think that it is so normalized to tell Children when you're 15 16 and 17 that you need to figure out what you want to do for the next 60 plus years of your life and

Mind you, our brains aren't even fully developed till we're 25. How are we supposed to know what we want to do for the rest of our life? Our passions change. Our schedules change. The people in our life change. And all of that affects who we are, who we want to be, and what we want to do, whether that's for a career or just for the rest of our life. Give yourself time to figure it out. And don't put all the pressure on yourself to know how to do it all or exactly what you want to do.

right yet because there is no need to let that weigh on you and to cripple you and to ruin the experience that you should be having right now. Enjoy yourself in high school. It is meant to be fun. It's another thing. I don't know if I said it already, but enjoy yourself while you're at school. Did I say this one yet?

Hold on. Hold on. I don't even think I did. I think I skipped over it. Get involved in school. Okay. Make your school. And I'm so sorry if I already did say this, we're repeating it heavy emphasis on it anyways.

Do everything you can to make your school a place that you enjoy. I know that your classes are going to be hard. There's going to be crappy people. There's going to be a few bad teachers. But get involved in things you enjoy. Join clubs. Do leadership. Get on a team. Play intramural sports. Build relationships with the good teachers. One thing that is so important, I think, is...

enjoying the place you're going to spend most of your days. So I really encourage you to find a way to make high school a place that you enjoy. Even if that's trying a new club because it sounds like something interesting to you, even if all of your friends say, "No, that's so weird, that's so stupid."

Because there were a few things I wanted to do in high school that I didn't join because I was worried about how people would think of me and what people would think of me. And do you know what? Now none of that matters. All of the people's opinions that I cared about in high school, I haven't spoken to those people in years of my life. And I wish I never let their opinions weigh on me as much as I did. So do whatever it is that you want. Do the things that you love.

regardless of what anybody else is going to say and get involved. High school can be something that's fun and it can be something that's enjoyable. I promise you. And anyways, now that I'm glad we got to go over that topic. Last thing, last thing, and then we're wrapping here. Your grades matter, yes, but the same way I just emphasized the world doesn't end, the world isn't going to end because you have a bad grade in one class. I don't remember what any of my grades were, but I remember feeling...

Actually absolutely depressed because I got a C one time in Spanish and I freaked out I got grounded by my parents. I thought the world was coming down. It didn't the world moved on it all passed It's all just a phase. It's an experience It's something that I want you to enjoy life is simpler than you realize right now if you're in high school and honestly a lot of this applies to college as well, but Just take all this into account and recognize that it is all

A face. It is all fun. It's all not going to matter in a few years from now. So I love you guys with my whole heart. Hopefully you're able to take some of these tips and apply them. Respect your teachers, your parents. Get involved. Don't be mean. Be a good person. Don't fall into peer pressure. Don't surround your life around what the popular kids are doing. Remember that your body is valuable. Remember that you should never chase somebody who's going to treat you like garbage. Remember that the world does not end.

in high school, or if you fail a test, or if you miss a party, it's all going to keep going. But I love you guys so much. I could do another, I could probably do five episodes on this because there's so many things from high school I wish I paid more attention to or listened to better. But love you guys so much and tune in next Monday. Let me know what you guys want to talk about.