Things to stop chasing and leave in 2024
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Hello my beautiful people. Welcome back to the Moments Podcast. I'm your host, Lexi Hidalgo. Let me tell you guys something. I did not know how many of you were really tuned in here, and I was blown away, and I am so beyond grateful for all of your support and all of your love and the way that you guys have been by my side through every single step of the way. For anybody who happens to be new here, or maybe you haven't followed on Instagram, TikTok,

any of those places, I have some news. I'm engaged. I am marrying the love of my life and I'm having a really hard time wrapping my head around it because when I started this podcast, I was at such a different point in my life and the people and the things that I was chasing were so far from what actually happened.

was meant for me, what God wanted for me, what he was trying to deliver to me, and I was literally running the opposite direction from it. And I wouldn't be here if it weren't for you guys. And if you've been listening for those past three years, you followed along in that journey. And I didn't know how much you guys really remembered, like the person that I used to be or saw growth in me. You saw growth in me that I didn't even really see in myself. But when I posted my engagement post, I

so many people reached out and sent me messages like just the most kind, beautiful and heartwarming messages I've ever received. Like most people that reached out to me that listened to the moments podcast sent me kinder and more thoughtful messages than my own family and friends, you know, and all that to say, I'm just so grateful for each and every one of you. I am so proud of this podcast and this community and everything that we have built. And I want to continue to,

to just grow together and inspire each other and go through life together and learn as we go because let me tell you one thing like you guys have really watched it happen you know we go through so many different spirals and so many different pieces of advice and walks of life and we always end up where we're supposed to it just takes us all a different amount of time and we all go a different way you know what i'm saying so i really love you guys and i'm really grateful and i want to do an entire episode on

the engagement and i think for the first time ever i'm going to have my now fiance come on the moments podcast with me i don't know how we haven't done an episode together yet truly i think i just get nervous i as you know have a very hard time recording with guests and something about recording with my boyfriend fiance scares me and i don't know why it is there's really no reason to be afraid of it but it's it's very much a personal thing and he's been dying to come on so

We will make it happen and we will get it done. I also have my best friend in town visiting. So hopefully you have an episode with Meredith coming out soon. But in the meantime, I wanted to give you a little bit of a bite size episode. I wanted to just tell you a few things to stop chasing and to just let go of.

And I'm going to keep the list short, and this episode's going to be short, because I want to get straight to the point. And I tend to have a hard time doing so, and I probably still won't do so. But I thought of this because in the beginning of this episode, when I was telling you I'm engaged now, and when I started this episode, this podcast, I was...

So far from engaged I was chasing all of the wrong things in life and you know Life was working out for me and its way in its ways like certain things were working out for me completely fine but I was lacking something I was missing something and It was just peace and trust and I think when you stop focusing on all these things that I'm about to share with you and when you learn to just let go of them that peace and trust kind of comes I've also really been growing my faith and

in God and in Jesus and just kind of in my Christianity. And it's been a really beautiful walk for me. It's brought me a whole new kind of light to my life. And I don't want to sit here and preach the gospel to you and tell you that you have to know Jesus to feel okay. But I just wanted to share with you that that's something that I've been doing in my life. And it has

made me feel a million times better in every single aspect of my life. You know, some days still suck. I still struggle with real life stuff that doesn't go away just because you know Jesus, but you have like a different kind of peace. And in mix of doing that and growing my faith and letting go of these things, I think

Think that you could see a lot of changes in your life and these are probably things I've shared with you before I've talked about before and I will talk about them over and over and over again until each and every one of us get this through our heads because I Could tell you right now all these things on this list. I tell myself every year I'm gonna let go of them and I still find myself chasing some of them Unintentionally, it's how life goes we get caught up but allow this to be a reminder the first one is

It's going to be kind of ironic considering I just told you that I just got engaged. But the first thing I need you to let go of is chasing a relationship. Let me tell you, you're going to chase the wrong people. If you keep chasing people because you're looking for something, it's not going to work. I was chasing a relationship at one point in my life and every single boy that I was chasing was just that they were boys that sucked. I got played. I got hurt. I failed.

thought I was falling in love with, which I now know that was definitely not love. I've never loved anybody until I've been with Gabe. But I thought I was falling in love with boys that literally wanted nothing to do with me, that were using me for the attention that I gave them. Know your worth and recognize that if you have to chase something other than a dream, it's probably not worth chasing. If you have to

put in really hard work to get a guy to like you or a partner to like you, that's probably not the partner for you. And it's a very big conversation that you should play the long game and how to make a guy fall in love with you and how to do this and how to do that and how to hurt a man's feelings and how to play a guy. Listen, would you want somebody doing that to you? The answer is probably no. And I don't say this in any kind of

pick me trying to be different kind of way. I'm telling you guys this from the bottom of my heart, genuinely. There's no point in trying to play games with boys because they're going to play better. And you're just going to be in this constant loop and this constant cycle of chasing toxic situationships and relationships. And it's just not worth it.

When the right person wants you, you'll know. There will be no doubts in your mind. So please take this as your sign to let go of that random boy that you think is going to change just for you. Maybe he will, but let him do it on his own terms. Don't teach him how to do it. Gosh, if you have to teach him how to change to like you, imagine how much you're going to have to teach him throughout your whole entire life if that happens to be the one.

Like genuinely, don't play games. Tell people how you feel about them. Let them do the same for you. And the second that you do that, your relationships will blossom. And I don't think that you need to be chasing them. And beyond that, way beyond that, you don't need to chase a relationship because it's very important to be single. It's very important to know what your life looks like without someone in it.

I never, I had one other boyfriend in my lifetime before Gabe. It was very short-lived, three months maximum, and it was long distance. I barely saw the kid and it was never real. It was never a real relationship anyways. So realistically, I've been single forever and I'm so grateful for the time that I had being single because it's what helps me figure out who I really was and

I've talked about this on different episodes. I would like to do a whole episode on it at one point or another if I haven't already, but...

Just know that knowing who you are is essential to finding the right relationship. I think there's beautiful relationships that last for a very long time. I've seen high school sweethearts who have the most happy, beautiful, perfect marriage. And I know that that exists. But if that's not what you're in and that's not what you're experiencing, and if you're just jumping from relationship to relationship to relationship, that is not healthy. Everything I say, I say with love.

I say things that I've learned from experience, take it with a grain of salt. But in my personal opinion, if that's where you're at, give yourself time. Give yourself time to force yourself to be on your own because gosh, you will realize how much bigger the world is. The world will be your oyster and you will feel unstoppable. I promise you, I've watched it happen in my friends' lives, my family's lives. You just have to break the routine. You get me?

Quick little intermission and let me tell you guys, this is such an exciting ad for me to be doing because as you may or may not know, I just recently got engaged and it was the best day of my whole entire life and I am so beyond excited to marry the love of my life and to just go on this next venture together. But one thing that is absolutely horrifying for me is planning a wedding.

I heard of this company called Zola and for me to be telling you about them is just so cool for me because They're amazing. They make everything so easy and what it is. It's modern wedding planning for modern couples No lie was Zola you can plan your entire wedding entire wedding in one convenient place Not only does Zola have every tool that you need to make planning enjoyable from making your vendor search non-anxiety inducing to wedding websites and

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You guys, I'm telling you about a really good podcast today. It's called SheMD and they're on a mission to change the world of women's health by educating one woman at a time with the knowledge and expertise to be their own health advocate. It's amazing. It's incredible. And you're going to leave this podcast learning something. It's a go-to resource for empowered women. SheMD offers health insights that empower women, helping them stay informed and proactive about their wellbeing at every stage of life.

It's hosted by industry icons. They cover relevant and timely topics from fertility to PCOS to mental health and menopause. SheMD tackles all the major health concerns, all from the lens of a woman, which we love. It's an inclusive and uplifting community. They break down stigmas. They empower listeners to take control. And it's going to become your Tuesday wellness ritual. New episodes drop every Tuesday, keeping listeners motivated, informed, and connected throughout the week. It's a mix of the

biggest names in Hollywood and the greatest minds in the medical space, all from the lens of a woman. So check out GMD wherever you get your podcasts today. The next one, stop, hard stop, all caps, S-T-O-P. Stop changing who you are to keep certain friends around. If you have to be a different person for somebody to want to be your friend, that was never your friend in the first place.

We all know, I've said it a million times before, is that if you are constantly changing who you are for temporary people, you're going to lose yourself. And losing yourself is so much worse than losing the friends that never liked you in the first place. Trust me, the more that you are you, unapologetically, proudly, confidently, the more that you will bring and draw and magnetize the right people into your life.

You will find your real friends the second that you stop faking who you are for your fake friends. That is the key to life. That is the secret. It's not always easy. Sometimes you are surrounded by people through high school, through college that always made fun of you and you let it happen and you think that those are your friends and you've tried to talk to them about it and they don't change.

And then you finally take a step back and they turn on you and they talk about you and they spread rumors about you and it's exhausting and it feels miserable, but it's worth it because anybody who is in the headspace where they think that's okay to do to somebody is not really somebody that you want to have around regardless. I'm feeling, I'm feeling a little bit ruthless, but I think that's just because I'm

I don't know, the older I get, the more these things don't really matter to me. I'm not as sensitive about people's feelings. That's not true. I'm so sensitive about people's feelings. I'm not that sensitive about people's feelings if they're the one hurting me. If you are causing damage to my brother's lives, my friend's lives,

i don't care he deserves to like let me give you an example for example let me give you an example for example what am i saying let's say my brother was in this group of friends and they were treating him like garbage and he decided to stand up for himself and stop being friends with those people and those people start spreading rumors and stories and then they're mad and sad and who knows what okay their problem not my brother's problem

But then I say that out loud and I'm like, I know damn well that I would care too much about other people's feelings. I always do. I always do. Moving on. I'm just going to stop. Another thing to let go of. We've talked about it before. I'm making it real brief. Stop being addicted to your phone. Put the thing down. I decided to...

start sleeping with my phone in my bathroom. And when I say I decided to start that, I mean, I'm literally starting it tonight for the first time. I'm not going to sit here and lie to you, but I want to do that. And that's the plan for this new year, because sometimes I'll get on my phone in the morning and just aimlessly open up Instagram. And thankfully, I usually get up out of bed pretty quickly because my boyfriend, my fiancee,

Usually does so I'm not gonna be lazy and sit on my phone in my bed You know when he's getting up but still I really don't like that The first thing I do in the morning is open that thing that toxic thing like I'm trying to get in the Bible first I'm trying to do more valuable things first and I'll let you know how that goes next let go of the need for attention God I used to be so obsessed with attention. It was subconscious and

I'm sure there's parts of me that still are obsessed with attention in different ways. We're humans. You can try to sit here and say that you're not at all, but being real, you probably are in one way or another, but let it go. It's not worth it.

Why do you want attention from the wrong people anyways? What does getting the attention of the people that treat everybody else like garbage really do for you? Nothing. Do you. Be a good person. Love on other people. That's the kind of attention you want. I promise. It's so much easier said than done. But once you can really detach from the need for other people's validation, you feel so empowered.

and so unstoppable because you realized everything about who you are was just to please other people. And that's really exhausting. You never really feel whole. You never really feel purposeful because

Just because one person is happy with the person that you are, it probably gives another person something to dislike about you. You can't be perfect to everybody all at once, so stop trying to be. Just work on being perfect to you. And honestly, that you won't even be. Just do and be. It's simple. No, it's not. But you get what I mean.

The next one, the desire to do something that you don't actually want to do. Let go of that. Whether it's a friend pushing something down your throat, a parent pushing something down your throat, a weird feeling that you need to do something but like you don't actually want to, let it go. If you don't want to do it, other than real responsibilities like pay your bills and get a job, like those kind of things are very different. You have to do those things. But

I'm talking more optional things. If you don't want to do it, don't do it. Nobody's forcing you. Truly, you have free will. And I want to also say, I know that a lot of these things are much easier said than done. Everybody's in a different circumstance. Everybody's in a different situation. I'm not just trying to tell you that you have to do each and every one of these things. I know that there's more layers, but I'm just giving broad, general reminders. And if they apply to you, they apply. If they don't, they don't. And again, everything I say is delivered with love and

and through my personal experience. Next, stop buying what's trending. Way easier said than done. I am working on this one myself. I have found myself doing a lot of thrifting, which I think has helped my little tad bit of a shopping addiction once in a while. I don't want to call what I've had in the past a shopping addiction. I just...

see something that everybody's wearing and I want to buy it because I think that that's you know what I need to do the beauty of thrifting is you're kind of forced to figure out what your own style is because it's one of a kind for the most part the pieces you find nobody else is finding you're not going to see somebody do a thrift haul and be able to go to your thrift store and buy the same exact thing they did it helps you have a little bit more individuality you

You get me? So I'm working on this one and thrifting has been very fun. It's become a really wonderful outlet for me and it's good for the earth and I highly recommend it. And I used to kind of hate it because I wasn't very patient and it can be a little bit exhausting, but it grows on you. I'll tell you that. The next one, grudges. Let go of grudges. I can't do it. I'm working on it deeply. I've gotten much better at it.

But there is no point in holding on to pain. I think one thing that helped me let go of grudges was being in a long-term relationship and just having long-term friendships, I guess. I let things go a lot easier because I know that they're not worth it. For example, Gabe, my fiance, is the love of my life. In the beginning of our relationship, if we would get in an argument, gosh, I would just hold on to that.

And I would stay mad at him for like a couple days in the beginning of our relationship when we were still really learning and growing and navigating things together. I would hold on to that anger I had for something so minuscule that he genuinely apologized for. I would subconsciously just hold on to that, but I would act totally normal and fine and

And I got to a point where I was like, this sucks. Why would I do that to myself? Why wouldn't I just actually let it go? Because this is the person that I love more than anything in the whole entire world. Why am I holding on to this? Why? Tomorrow is not promised. Do I really want something to happen? And I'm still thinking about that tiny little grudge or I'm knowing that I was holding on to that and like hiding it or whatever? No, it's helped me a lot with...

arguments with my family or holding a grudge against my mom or my brothers or my best friends and also just people who have hurt me in the past. I really held grudges. And then I learned to use the unfollow button on Instagram and I don't have to see those people anymore. And now I think about them and I wish them well. But for me, unfollowing them on social media really helped me let go of the grudge. I don't know if that's niche, but it was wonderful for me personally.

A quick little intermission, you guys. I'm telling you about something you've heard me talk about many times before, and that is therapy, because I love it. The Moments podcast is sponsored by BetterHelp, and I am honored to tell you and remind you how important and how incredible it is to be able to talk to somebody about whatever it is that you're going through, to get to know yourself better, to get to know what to look for in people better, and to just have a

a better understanding about how to feel good and be good.

I'm obsessed with therapy. I love therapy. Even if you're happy, if you're sad, it doesn't matter what you're going through. It is just beneficial for you to learn and gain knowledge. And I want you to know that BetterHelp is fully online. They make therapy affordable and convenient, and they serve over 5 million people worldwide. You can access a diverse network of more than 30,000 credentialed therapists with a wide range of specialties. And you can easily switch therapists at any time with no extra cost. So if you're interested in learning more about BetterHelp,

Discover your relationship green flags with BetterHelp. Visit betterhelp.com slash moments today to get 10% off your first month. That's betterhelp, H-E-L-P dot com slash moments. Have you ever spotted McDonald's hot crispy fries right as they're being scooped into the carton? And time just stands still. Ba-da-ba-ba-ba.

Next one, we're letting go of FOMO. We're letting go of it. There's no point to have FOMO. God wouldn't put you somewhere that you're not meant to be. Genuinely, truly. I used to get FOMO when my friends would go out and I wouldn't go. Now I have JOMO, joy of missing out. I don't want to be hungover tomorrow.

I don't want to be blacked out in the club. I don't want to be spending $100 on Uber Eats. And I used to get really upset because, well, maybe I was missing a moment or two with my friends that would have been fun. Well, if those are really my friends, I'll have more of those moments down the line. You get me? The right people are going to miss you, but they're going to create those memories with you again differently at a different point in time. You're not supposed to be there if you couldn't be there for whatever reason. I used to really struggle with FOMO and...

I've just really thought about it that way. When I do kind of feel it creeping in, I just remind myself, why would God want... If God wanted me there, I would be there. And in some situations, it's easier to think about that than others, but it always applies. The last one, you know what we're letting go of this year? Just holding in our feelings. Because holding in our feelings literally makes our body and our muscles tense up in ways that we can't even feel or comprehend. So...

You really have to just let things go and you have to stop holding on to things. And sometimes you can't let things go. Sometimes you need to genuinely talk to somebody. So don't be afraid to do so. Don't be afraid to get help.

But on a smaller scale, in your friendships, in your relationships, if something's on your mind, talk about it. If you're with the right partner or you're friends with the right people, they'll understand. It's not to say you might not have an argument. It might not spark a conversation. But the right people will get where you're coming from. But holding on to things just makes you a more sad and angry person from the inside out. And you don't deserve that.

You don't want to be that person. So, the only way that you can stop being that person is to let the things go. Put them on the ground.

Okay, that's all I'm giving you. We could do more next week if you want more, but I love you guys. I'm so endlessly deep, deep, deep. Oh my gosh. I am so endlessly, deeply grateful for you. Each and every one of you. I want to do an engagement story time. It'll come soon. Maybe next week or the week after that, or I don't know, whenever Gabe and I find the time to sit down and record, or maybe I'll do it solo. We'll see. Maybe I'll do the engagement story solo and then I'll do something separate.

with Gabe. Let me know what you guys would rather send me a DM on Instagram and yeah, follow on Instagram and Tik TOK. If you don't already at Lex, it all go. I'm posting more on YouTube this year. So get excited for that. I'm working on it. I got to figure out my flow, but I've always wanted to post more on YouTube and I just kind of put it off and put it off and put it off. So hopefully this is the year, but I love you guys more than anything in the world. Thank you for being here. I hope that this year is blooming and blossoming and so full of love and joy and memories.

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