Tomorrow and Tomorrow and Tomorrow - Part 1
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Quote at Progressive.com. Progressive Casualty Insurance Company and Affiliates. National average 12-month savings of $793 by new customers surveyed who saved with Progressive between June 2021 and May 2022. Potential savings will vary. My dad works in B2B marketing. He came by my school for career day and said he was a big ROAS man. Then he told everyone how much he loved calculating his return on ad spend.

My friend's still laughing at me to this day. Not everyone gets B2B, but with LinkedIn, you'll be able to reach people who do. Get $100 credit on your next ad campaign. Go to linkedin.com slash results to claim your credit. That's linkedin.com slash results. Terms and conditions apply. LinkedIn, the place to be, to be. Welcome to episode 11 of the Curious Matter Anthology.

I'm Jonathan Pezza, the creator and host of the series. This episode is the first in our two-part season finale. It has taken us a lot longer than expected to get you all 12 first season episodes. 2020 has been an unexpected and challenging year.

Every single person, every member of humanity, no matter their age, nationality, ethnicity, gender, sexual orientation, or religion, has experienced together what will be remembered as one of history's most tragic periods. I can't help but think that when this is all finally over, this collective experience will bring the world, all of us, closer together.

With the beginning of a new year, 2021, there comes new possibility, new opportunity, and a chance to heal. I'd like to say thank you to everyone out there listening for just being you. I'd also like to specifically thank our Patreon subscribers who've helped support the show even through the months where we were unable to put out content.

So I'd like to say a very special thank you directly to Dustin F, Jeremy P, Simon C, Tom W, Elizabeth P, Robert A, Steve B, Darren C, and Chris P. Thank you so much for your support. Our final tale of the season is all about family.

Crammed into a very small apartment together for what may be an endless amount of time. While the rich and empowered minority control virtually everything. Sound familiar? Tomorrow and Tomorrow and Tomorrow is adapted from a short story written by one of the most renowned humorists in American literature, Kurt Vonnegut Jr.,

During his career, Vonnegut published 14 novels, 3 short story collections, and 5 plays, but he is most known for his novel Slaughterhouse-Five or The Children's Crusade: A Duty Dance with Death.

His stories combine satire, science fiction, and an anthropologist's ability to analyze culture. As he would say in interviews, he liked to think he looked at the world like a visitor from Mars, as if he were an outsider observing how odd and ironically self-destructive those wacky human beings can be.

Many of his stories had more than one title, and ours today is no different. Tomorrow and Tomorrow and Tomorrow originally went by the title "Big Trip Up Yonder" in its 1954 release within the pages of Galaxy Science Fiction magazine, but it was later changed in 1961 with its release in the collection Canary in a Cat House. Our story takes place 130 years after humanity has achieved immortality through the advancements of medicine.

Vonnegut's dark sense of humor was inspired by the then and still popular opinion that science and new technologies are the key to solving all our ills. The technocracy, as he called it. Where that next invention waiting just over the horizon, that next doodad, gadget, or pill, no matter how much it might cost, would finally provide us with that ever-elusive thing: happiness. This episode of Curious Matter is rated explicit and includes adult language.

How would you like to live forever?

No, that isn't a rhetorical question. Thanks to breakthroughs in DNA editing and the revised Affordable Care Act of 2051, one simple jet injection a day freezes aging in its tracks. "Anti-Gerosome!" Fear wrinkles and the ravages of cellular degeneration no more. With anti-Gerosome, immortality is one small monthly payment away.

Or better yet, consider our yearly, decade, centennial, or infinity discount plans. Life is a gift worth keeping. And now you can. Anti-Gerasome. With Anti-Gerasome. Good morning, Lewis. I trust you and Emma enjoyed your stay in the conjugal suite. This is your two-minute warning. Hannah and Michael are scheduled for the next shift. Please deposit your bedclothes in the automated receptacle. Thanks for...

Blue, I think. Morning, um... Blue what? The curtains in Kramp's room. When it's ours, I mean. I wish you wouldn't do that. Do what? Fantasize about Grandfather's death. Blue, I'm not fantasizing. Okay, maybe I am fantasizing, but you know, things can't go on like this forever. You already keep this family from tearing itself apart. It's going to be our time eventually. It just has me thinking...

I just woke up. Can we save the access edition till after breakfast? One minute. We should get up. The newlyweds have the next shift. Ken and Mike are back on the list. Law. How is Grandfather today? Mood query. You are not authorized for that information. Since when? Time's up, old man. Time is indeed... Please vacate the conjugal suite.

Come on! You know how long we've had to wait for our turn in the fuckbox? Sorry, Lou. Um, she's just excited. Grams took our condigal rights for three weeks and this is our first night off the shit list. It's alright, Mike. It's all yours. Enjoy yourselves. Uh, just maybe quieter this time if you expect to keep your privileges, Hannah. Yeah, yeah. Get in here, stud. Come on, lover boy. Time to shit shower and shovel down some good ol' almost eggs.

You see where we are on the list today? He bumped us to 17 and 18. Perhaps he was on a tear last night, apparently. Shit! That means we're moving to second shift. Han, where are my pants? Did you check your locker? Of course I checked the locker. Where else would I keep them? It's the only place I'm allowed to put anything. Ooh, there's Dana. I'm gonna catch her before she hits the bunk. Okay, um, see you at breakfast. Hey, Dad.

Morning, Eddie. How was your night in the closet? Paradise as ever. Hey, uh, have you checked the wheel yet this morning? Why? Should I be worried? Uh, just, you should check it, Dad. What could that be about? Law, permission for shower access. Daily ration, please. Permission granted. Your three-minute water ration begins now. Law, please.

How many changes did Gramps make last night? There have been 46 revisions by Harold Sr. to the Ford family will and constitution in the last eight hours. 46? Geez, he's been busy. What are my changes?

Lewis Ford, generation three, first descendant. Born February 14th, 2065. Age 152. Son of William Ford, deceased. Just jump to the inheritance ranking, please. As the Ford family virtual government lawyer and assistant AI, it is my duty to inform you that as of 0100 today, you are inheritance rank 32. What? One minute of water ration remaining. That's impossible!

Bottom of the list! Lewis Ford, inheritance rank 32, confirmed. I thought it best to wait until after you'd had your breakfast, sir, before informing you. But due to your new rank, you'll be moving to third shift, bunk 10. Their sleep session has just- I can't move to third shift! According to the Ford constitutional bylaws, the 12th lowest drinking descendant- I don't care! Your water ration is complete. Shall I dry you? Law. TV.

Good morning, Harold. I trust you slept well. Shall I cue up last night's episode of Survivor? Tonight, on the 221st season of Survivor, our 85 castaways face a challenge unlike any other before. Martian sandstorms. They did that a hundred years ago. Next. Next.

Previously on Decades of Our Lives. You poisoned his anti-gerasone. And I'd do it again. I'm carrying his child. You slept with your great-great-grandson? How could you? He was a liar. He wasn't my great-grandson at all. He was my long-lost twin brother. Next.

They recycled this plot from a hundred years ago. ...here to speak in opposition of recent legislation proposing the further expansion of senior familius rights. Can I just stop you right there? I'm just... I'm gonna stop you right there. These people are anarchists, plain and simple. Criminals and terrorists. They want to destroy 130 years of prosperity. Prosperity? The population just broke 40 billion! That's one person for every eight square meters of planet's surface! Living like sardines!

The McCloud Act effectively handed our wealth and prosperity to the .01% who act like autocratic, tyrannical dictators who control the lives of everyone! Why? Why did you do it? Pause. Yes, sir. Who is that? Lewis, sir. I think Lou just heard he got dumped to the bottom last night. Oh, this is gonna be...

Grandfather. I demand to know why. What's he talking about? Why did you do it? You demoted him to the bottom of the list, sir. I cook for you. I take care of you. I do all the family accounting and I love you. I look out for this family. Why would you do this to me?

Remind me, Law. You disinherited and demoted him for breaking Amendment 6. Which one is that? Birthdays, sir. Right. Law, read the Sixth Amendment of the Ford Family Constitution. For everyone to hear.

The Ford Family Constitution reads as follows, as here to set forth on June 7th, 2111, and to be upheld by the law of senior familiars. Birthdays, and their celebration, shall henceforth be forbidden. That clear enough for ya? No. Oh. Play back the recording.

Should we do something for Gramps' 200th birthday? Birthdays are forbidden, hon. It's just an idea. I think I'm going to splurge and get a real flower cake. Just a little one. I mean, it'll cost a fortune, but 200 is a big deal. It'll be a surprise. Besides, it's not like he's recording us in here. It's a conjugal suite. Play it again.

They are, but it'll be a surprise. It'll be a surprise. Silence! The next one of you who opens up his big bazoo is gonna be at the bottom right next to him. I just wanted to do something nice for once. Surely there's an exception for that.

Law, remind my great-grandson how things work around here. Grandson. There are no exceptions. Rules are happiness. For who? And here comes the Veil of Tears. I've had many heartbreaks in this life, e'er leaving this Veil of Tears for a better land. But the deepest hurt of all has been dealt me by you.

La. Remove. All. Permissions. Come on. Wake up, baby. Time to wake up. Lou? Oh, what, what, what happened? How did I get in the kitchen? You fainted. We dragged you out. Uncle Lou is waking up. Your eyes rolled back and everything.

Here, here's some water, Gungaloo. Drink this. Thank you. Can you give us some room here? Please. Give the man an inch or two to breathe. How could you put us in a situation like this? You've been his heir at the top of the list since your father decided to take the big trip. We were set to inherit everything. I know. Do you know how long I've been dreaming about a night in the bedroom? It's not like the old man can last much longer. I know.

A full-sized bed all to ourselves, a private bathroom with an actual bathtub, a fucking bathtub! I know. We were going to live like royalty, like Queen Charlotte in the goddamn Buckingham flat, and now that's all flushed down the toilet. Why? Because you wanted to bake a friggin' birthday cake! I'll just have to work my way back into his graces. He can't stay mad at me forever.

Yes he can. Just look at Allie and Matt. That was 75 years ago. That was different.

I mean, they're cousins. Why won't he just give it up already? Let nature take its course like most of the first gens did years ago. He was already 70 when AG came out. Who'd want to spend forever trapped in that wrinkled ball sack of a body? He'll stop taking the AG when he's ready. He said he'll do it after the Solar 500. And before that, it was the NASTAR Cup and the Olympics. It's always something. He's always wanted to be a racer. He just gets excited about these events.

That's all he has, really. You better pray he promotes you again, otherwise your sister is going to get the bedroom. You should have seen the smug look on her face in the breakfast line. I'll figure out something. Uh, sorry to interrupt. Nope! You're fine, hun. What's up? I know that this isn't a good time, but the AG kiosk is acting up again. Ugh, again? I'll take a look at it. Shouldn't Jojo handle that? Why?

Gramps promoted your sister. Great. So, should I tell Jojo? I'll handle it. But... I said, I'll handle it. Anti-Gerisone. Louis Ford. Identity accepted. Please insert your arm to administer dosage. Seems like it's working fine. Here we go. Patient has already received dosage. Please remove your arm from the machine. What? What?

Dose not administered. Please reinsert your arm to administer dosage. Okay... Patient has already received dose. Please remove your arm from the machine. Gosh darn it! I told Gramps we needed to replace this damn thing 30 years ago! Bah!

How may I help you, Lewis? I need to put in a requisition for a repairman to come take a look at this thing. Today, it's broken. Again. As of 0815, you no longer have authorization to make requisitions. Fine. Can I put in a request for a requisition with Jojo? You do not have authorization for requests. What am I authorized for? You do not need permissions to send holomojis. Grr!

Exclamation point, exclamation point, anti-gerasone symbol, broken glass, skull and crossbones, send. Send. You have a response. Why didn't it just pop up? You don't have holo-vid viewing privileges. Can you just read it to me? Jojo's response was, question mark, question mark, ellipses, blowing raspberries. May I suggest you return to your assigned bunk?

I just woke up. I need to talk to Jojo. Third shift is currently in its assigned sleep cycle. Failure to return to the bunk room for sleep may result in- I said I'm fine. As you wish. Lock. Lock. Lock. Lock. Lock. Lock. Lock. Lock. Lock. Lock. Lock. Lock. Lock. Lock. Lock. Lock. Lock. Lock. Lock. Lock. Lock. Lock. Lock. Lock. Lock. Lock. Lock. Lock. Lock. Lock. Lock. Lock. Lock. Lock. Lock. Lock. Lock. Lock. Lock. Lock. Lock. Lock. Lock. Lock. Lock. Lock. Lock. Lock. Lock. Lock. Lock. Lock. Lock. Lock. Lock. Lock. Lock. Lock. Lock. Lock. Lock. Lock. Lock. Lock. Lock. Lock. Lock. Lock. Lock. Lock. Lock. Lock. Lock. Lock. Lock. Lock. Lock. Lock. Lock. Lock. Lock. Lock. Lock. Lock. Lock. Lock. Lock. Lock. Lock. Lock. Lock. Lock. Lock. Lock. Lock. Lock. Lock. Lock. Lock. Lock. Lock. Lock. Lock. Lock. Lock. Lock. Lock. Lock. Lock. Lock. Lock. Lock. Lock. Lock. Lock. Lock. Lock. Lock. Lock. Lock. Lock. Lock. Lock. Lock. Lock. Lock. Lock. Lock. Lock. Lock. Lock. Lock. Lock. Lock. Lock. Lock. Lock. Lock. Lock. Lock. Lock. Lock. Lock. Lock. Lock. Lock. Lock. Lock. Lock. Lock. Lock. Lock. Lock. Lock. Lock. Lock. Lock. Lock. Lock. Lock. Lock. Lock. Lock. Lock. Lock. Lock. Lock. Lock. Lock. Lock. Lock. Lock. Lock. Lock. Lock. Lock. Lock. Lock. Lock. Lock. Lock. Lock. Lock. Lock. Lock. Lock. Lock. Lock. Lock. Lock. Lock. Lock. Lock. Lock. Lock. Lock. Lock. Lock. Lock. Lock. Lock

You're looking at this the wrong way. Yes, I know, I know. I've tried to convince Grandfather that we need a new machine, but he just won't budge. No, what I mean is it's time for Gramps to take the big trip. Whether he wants to or not. Shh! What are you doing? Do you know what could happen? Relax. I temporarily disabled Law's sensors in here. You... you what? Quiet, man. You want the whole apartment to know? What do you mean you disabled Law?

How is that even possible? There's a lot of things possible when you're willing to go outside the box. What are you saying? It's time for cramps to move on. Buy the farm. Make a little more room for those of us in line. Slowly, of course. Just gotta turn off the fountain of geriatric eternity and let them age his way into the great beyond. You know it's what you want to happen, if you're being honest. Morty, I...

I need to go. Aren't you sick of living like this? I mean, on top of each other? Sleeping when he says where he says? Taking a shit when he says? Forced to hot-swap bunks like a damn submarine, all while the old man lives like a king off a fortune he's had two centuries to build? And all of us serving his every whim? For what? Soy eggs? No. Just no. Gramps loves us. Really? Even after making you wallow with us seventh gens? Look, it's complicated.

Whatever you did to Law, put it back the way it was. I'm gonna make sure Jojo gets a repairman out here today. See, I can't have you do that. I'm not done yet. There were some complications. You tampered with the kiosk? Are you insane? Insane as this forever. You had a career, a life. For us younger generations, all we've known is the cane on our necks. I know you, Lou.

You actually care about us. Gramps cares. He just... It's hard to see sometimes. Look, I won't tell anyone about this. Just put it back. Even now you'll defend him. I just need another day, and then I'll have it all ironed out nice and clean, and the old man goes quietly into the great beyond, just like nature intended. Change is coming.

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Fans make the network what it is. Thanks for listening, and we can't wait to hear from you. Find our listener survey at fableandfolly.com slash survey today. Welcome back to the Utopia Planitia 500. Buck Triple is in first with 60 laps to go in his signature nine ship. That's right, Frost. I wish you'd watch something else, or better yet, let someone else pick something.

Kramps fell asleep half an hour ago. Now Star is the worst. Who wants to watch spaceships fly around in circles all day? All they ever do is- Shut it! Can't a man watch in peace? Excuse me, sir. What? How's it hanging? Virtually, sir. I need to bring something to your attention.

What have these ingrates done now? The Anti-Gerisone kiosk appears to be malfunctioning again. Jojo had me place an order for a technician who should be arriving shortly. The pariah has been pestering me for a new one for years. Maybe it's time we finally switch it out. Perhaps, but that's not the only reason for my interrupting you. Spit it out. I'm worried about morale, sir.

Hmm. Your recent changes have been unnerving. Lewis being demoted to the bottom has everyone on edge. Tensions have been on the rise for some time. As you know, in high-density households, structure and stability are the foundations of happiness. Spare me the lecture. As you say, sir. Eh, maybe you're right. Maybe it's time for a little vacation.

Raise their spirits. Rebuild the esprit de corps. Perhaps that's why, sir. Put some options together. Right away, sir. Cheap options. Someone get the damn door! There's 33 people in the apartment. You'd think someone could get it on a first ring. I'll get it.

JoJo! What are you doing skulking in the recycling nook? Shouldn't you be asleep? I just wanted to see if you needed help. These service technicians can be a little tricky to handle. If you could do it, I'm sure I'll manage. I'm just trying to help. Well, don't. I know what you're doing. Trying to weasel your way back in. That's not it at all. Get the fucking door! I need to get this, and you need to be somewhere else. One second!

It's a gyrus on service. Thanks for getting here so quickly. The kiosk started acting up this morning. Nobody has been able to get a dose. This is the Ford Residence building 257 of Alden Village, New York City in the state formerly known as Connecticut. Yes. Oh, fancy digs. Owned it long? My grandfather bought it in the '50s. Jeez, must be worth a mint. One bedroom? Um, two? 950 square feet. We got a regular family of musks here.

Can I show you the machine? Hey! Someone's in a hurry! Are these rich types probably worried if she doesn't get a dose, a wrinkle might form? Can't have that. Got some forms first. Got to fill out the forms. All the forms. Nothing gets done without the forms. Oh, okay. Oh, of course. Okay, let's see here. You're a Louis J. Ford, age 152. Looks like you got on the AG train early. You barely look 30.

That's my brother, actually. So you're not the authorized signatory? The family made a few organizational changes today. I'm happy to help you. That's gonna be a problem. Big problem. No one filed a 605B slash Zed change of authorized signatory form. Oh, I'm so sorry. I'm so...

Very new to requisitions. Not our problem. We can come back when you've submitted the correct forms. No. Can't be helped. One second. Please? We'll give you six. 'Cause, you know, customer services are focused at M.T. Gerasone, Inc. Um, law.

I'm here. I'm here. I was eavesdropping? Lewis!

Same old, same old. Orion and Tallulah, right? Come on in. Whatever you need. Grandfather, AGX Premium. Dad, deceased. Took the big trip 25 years ago. We filed a D3-40. Must be a mix-up on our...

up on our end. We'll get that cleared right up. Kimberly Ford. Mom, generic for her and the rest of us. And Louis Ford. That's you. How about Emerald? My wife. JoJo? Me. Alterized personnel only. Everyone else should just be the same? I guess we can cut a few corners. Yeah, I mean, it

Lou. Lou. Okay, so let's just look here. Liam Ford, then Eddie Ford, Sarah Ford, Melvin Ford, Laura Ford, Catherine Johnson, DeJohn Johnson. Then there's Ali Nolte, Harold 2, Harold 3. Someone was sucking up. You know how it is. Don't I ever. There's so many Tallulahs in my apartment, we could field a baseball team.

Kevin Argos, all the other Notis, Matilda, Matt, Tom, Priyanka, and George. And then there's Lola Appleby, Jackson Appleby, Morty Ford, Dana Johnson, Woo, G-Fun. Did I get that right? We participated in the International Family Exchange in the 21s. Patrick Woo, Vera Mulray, and finally Hannah Mulray-Schreck. That's everyone, right? You missed Mike Schreck, my great-great-great-grand-nephew-in-law. Just married.

Form should have been in there already. Oh, here he is. There's only 33 of you? Yeah, just us. How do I marry into this family? All this space. So, what seems to be the problem? I think the kiosk is broken. Remoting it now. Sir, you have another hollow message. It's from Morty. Read it, please. It reads, I warned you. Skull and crossbones. Noose. Kissy face.

We have an FU-1000 alarm. Confirming FU-1000. Lock this place down. Lock down. Lock down. By Article 18 of the McLeod Act, this home is now under government lockdown for attempted forced aging. Lock down. Lock down.

Locked down. Locked down. For Article 18 of the McClown Act, this home is now under comfort lockdown. What's all this racket about? Law, shut that alarm the hell up! We have been placed on lockdown, sir. Silencing alarm.

Are you the senior familius and head of the household? I'm Harold Ford. What the hell is all this about? Sir, we've detected an incursion into your anti-terrorism kiosk. Someone hacked in. They attempted to sabotage your doses, sir. Someone in your home is trying to kill you. Slowly.

Who? Looks like the initial login that attempted to upload the malware was one... Louis Ford. Lou! You tried to kill your own grandfather? What? No! Says it was you, right? Right there. No, no, no! You don't understand! Cold, man. Super cold. No one is safe! No one is safe!

Should I call the authorities and press charges, sir? So you tried to bump me off, huh? I would never! You have to believe me! I never have thought you had it in you. Come on, you guys think I can look at you like that? I always knew he'd snap. What have you done to me?

I hope you enjoyed this presentation. If you haven't yet, please make sure to subscribe for free on the platform of your choice and rate us with five stars today. If you like the podcast, leave us a review or connect with us on Twitter, Instagram, or Facebook under the handle at CM Anthology.

This episode was dramatized, directed, and edited by me, your host, Jonathan Pezza. Story consultation by Tom Gray. I want to say a huge thank you to our cast throughout the season who have worked so hard and given up so much time to help make this show. You guys have been amazing. Our ensemble cast self-engineered their recordings from home and included the talented voices of Adam Briggs as both Lou Ford and Harold Gramps Ford, Alexandra Littler as Law,

Amy Vorpel as Em, Sandeep Parikh as Morty, Philip Gray as Eddie, Melissa Starr as Jojo, Bobby Thomas as Orion, Kelly Dawn Hancock as Tallulah, Ali Rivera as Catherine, Jason Ervin as Kevin, Tien Nguyen as Hannah, Jeremy Pezza as Mike,

Tara Strand as Dujun, Elizabeth Wilcox as Matilda, Tom Gray as Harold Too, and Hailey Pezza as Sarah. The score was provided by Epidemic Music. Sound effects were provided by Soundsnap.com. Tomorrow and Tomorrow and Tomorrow and The Big Trip Up Yonder are works in the public domain, and this episode was produced in accordance with U.S. copyright law. Curious Matter is a production of Jonathan Pezza, Inc., copyright 2021, all rights reserved.

If you have a question or feedback or you just want to write and say hello, I'd love to hear from you. So reach out to Jonathan at CuriousMatterPodcast.com or check us out online for more information at www.CuriousMatterPodcast.com.

We normally dedicate each episode to a used bookstore, but this week we're going to take the time to once again try and let people know about resources out there that can help them cope with the continuing mental health effects of the COVID-19 pandemic. It's easy to feel lonely and isolated in these times. If you or someone you know is struggling, you are not alone. There are many organizations, services, and treatment options out there that may help.

Please consider reaching out to some of the amazing resources available, like the National Alliance on Mental Illness Helpline. Their number is 800-950-6264.

That's 800-950-6264. You can also find them online at nami.org. That's N-A-M-I dot org. Additionally, you can find the link to NAMI as well as many other mental health resources on our COVID-19 mental health resources page on our website at www.curiousmatterpodcast.com.

Coming up next on our final episode of the season, jump back into the Ford apartment for the conclusion of Tomorrow and Tomorrow and Tomorrow. You won't want to miss it. So make sure to subscribe for free today, and thank you for listening. The Fable and Folly Network, where fiction producers flourish. In the year 1889, there was nowhere in the world more exciting than London, England.

Three cheers for Inspector Lestrade and the bad boys of Baker Street themselves, Sherlock Holmes and Dr John Watson!

by Sherlock bloody Holmes of 221 B Baker Street. Well, with any luck, we'll get a new brutal murder any day now. God, I wish. It's truly shocking you haven't solved anything in five years. The boys are both out of town for some case about a dog in Dartmoor this weekend. Sincerely, Martha Hudson. London's number two detective team just became number one. Fox and Stallion.

Find us on Twitter, Instagram, and Tumblr at 224bbaker or on our website, 224bbaker.com. It's like they say, big breaks are 90% luck. What's the other 10%? Luck.