breakup to BREAKTHROUGH: my tips for healing a broken heart
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Hello, hello, beautiful souls, and welcome to the Claim Your Power podcast, the ultimate show for all things new age spirituality, entrepreneurship, and embodied leadership. I'm your host, Kim Peretz. I'm an author, entrepreneur, and yoga enthusiast. If you're ready to step up, tap into your gifts, and unleash your potential, you are at the right place. It's time to claim your power.

Hello, my beautiful friends, and welcome back to the pod. If you're new here, my name's Kim. I'm your host, and I'm so happy that you're here and that you're joining the podcast fam. So for today's episode, this is a very requested topic. I get a lot of messages about basically anything down the line of like how to mend a broken heart, how to heal, how to let go of someone. So this episode is like your how-to guide. I'm going to be sharing a lot of

all of my tips, all of my advice, everything that you need in order to really turn your breakup into a breakthrough. To start this episode off, I want to say that the reason that I named this episode Breakup to Breakthrough is because your heartbreak right now, even if it doesn't seem like it, is your biggest opportunity for growth.

It is like a divine assignment. It is a blessing in disguise. And I promise you, you're probably thinking like, oh my God, what is she going to say? But I promise you, you're going to look back. Maybe you're even going to come back to this episode and you're going to be like, wow, that breakup, that heartbreak happened for a reason. And I got so much stronger and wiser and you're going to look back at this

past version of you right now that is hurting and that is confused and feels rejected and abandoned, you're going to look back at that version from a powerful standpoint, from a self-love standpoint, and you're going to be like, wow, that breakup was my major breakthrough and I didn't even know it. I remember in the beginning of 2022, I went through a really, really hard heartbreak. I was in a relationship for two years with my ex and we had broken up.

And it was very, very hard for me. And honestly, it was a very, very low and confusing point and time period in my life. I was on the side dealing with a lot of physical health issues. I had an ovarian cyst at the time, cystic acne. My periods were very unbalanced. Like I had a lot of hormonal issues at the time.

And then I was also going through a breakup and then that like added the cherry on top, you know? The beginning of 2022 was a very dark night of the soul, time period, chapter, era, whatever you want to call it in my life. There were a lot of big lessons on rejection and on self-love.

And that was a time period where I remember feeling very lost and confused with who I am and my identity as a person and as a young woman. And I just, I look back at that past version of myself and I think, wow, like that, I was so hurt during that time and I was so confused and I was working through and healing so much and releasing so much and

And wow, I look back at that version of myself with so much love because I'm like, if I wasn't that me, if Kim didn't walk down that path, I wouldn't be where I am today. Mind you that this is before I even started a TikTok account. Like part of the reason I started a TikTok account was

was when I was coping through this heartbreak and this health journey and I wanted to share it online my own journey as an outlet for me and so this is all before I even had a TikTok I even had a big community this was all like me against me but me today me in 2023 looks back at that time period in my life and that past version of me and that and that breakup and I think to myself for

Thank God. Thank you, universe. Because that breakup was my biggest breakthrough. Seriously. I'm not even kidding. If it wasn't for that breakup, I wouldn't have started my TikTok, which has changed my entire life, my entire business. I wouldn't have traveled alone to Costa Rica and became a yoga teacher. I probably wouldn't have stuck to the podcast because when I was going through that time, I started really being consistent with the podcast and posting every single week because

during that time when I was healing my heart and going through a breakup, all I did was pour all my energy into me and I was really trying to tend to my vibration and towards who I want to be and setting a new identity for myself as an adult and as an independent person regardless of a relationship or a partnership.

And so all the things that are so near and dear to my heart and really define who I am today. If it wasn't for that breakup and that big heartbreak, I would not have had those breakthroughs, those changes, those shifts.

If I didn't have that dark night of the soul, I wouldn't have this uprising and this amazing catalyzation for something so big and so amazing in my life. And I wouldn't be who I am today. And so now I look back at that time period in my life and that broken heart was so much gratitude because my heart had to break immediately.

in order for it to open. So now that you guys know like the background and the story time on my own life experiences, and I honestly have to say really quick that sharing these things on the podcast wasn't always easy for me. Like a couple months ago, I started being more like open with you guys and like sharing stuff about my personal life. But I have to say like it's putting me

a very vulnerable point of view because I'm sharing a lot of things like that are very personal and near dear to my heart to a lot of people on the internet. And it's not something easy for me to do, but it's also something that I know I need to be doing and requires authentic expression because me sharing my story and my own experiences allows anyone else that's listening to feel a sense of, you know, comfort.

And you might feel relatable to this or you just might know that like even though you are listening to this podcast and maybe you're like inspired by things that I have to say, like I'm still human. I still go through my own journey and my own experiences and my own hardships and challenges and setbacks. And.

And I just want to say like, please never put anything that anyone says or anything that I say or anyone that you look up to, please do not put that person on a pedestal because at the end of the day, we are all humans. We all have our experiences and we all are trying to walk each other home. And I just hope that like me sharing my personal journey with you guys and just

more intimate stuff really puts me in a vulnerable spot that is also so good for me and so good to empower other people. So I really hope it does empower you in a way. Okay, let's dive right into it. I have a list of all my big tips and pieces of advice and wisdom that I wish I knew or I wish someone had told me when I was going through my heartbreak.

And yeah, so we're going to start off with tip number one, which is sometimes you have to give time some time because the thing is healing is not linear. You're not going to wake up one day and feel complete. You're not going to wake up one day and just forget everything. It just doesn't work like that. Healing is a journey. It's not linear. Sometimes you take one step back and then two steps forward.

But I think there's such a rush sometimes to like finally be healed and be like, oh, I'm over it. I've moved on. Like I'm healed. I've let it go. But the truth is like the more you do that and the more you're just trying to like resist and just like forget it and move on, you're actually blocking your own healing to take place.

Because the best way to heal is just to surrender to the experience of healing and to say, okay, I'm experiencing this heartbreak right now. I'm experiencing this sadness, this rejection, this source of abandonment, this deep feeling. Why am I experiencing it?

and become curious and hold space for yourself as you experience this emotion because it is part of being human is experiencing the heartbreak. If you didn't experience the heartbreak, you would have no appreciation and no gratitude for all the love you experience in your life. I also have to say that the reason I say give time some time is because there's not like a one-size-fits-all scenario for a heartbreak.

Someone might get over a heartbreak in three months. Someone might take a year. Someone might take six months. It's completely different. And I also want to say, do not compare your journey to your ex's because first of all, you don't really know how they feel and what they're going through and what's going through their head.

And second of all, just because your ex has moved on or someone else doesn't mean that they've actually moved on. And it doesn't mean that you should give it any power because your ex is on their own journey, on their own path, and you are on your own path and on your own timing. And sometimes even when time passes by, maybe you haven't,

you're not exactly where you want to be. You will get there. You just have to give time some time and allow your heart to open and get stronger every single day. I know it's cliche, but truly time heals all wounds.

I promise you that you're going to look back at this exact moment in your life and how you're feeling in six months, in a year, and you're going to feel completely different. You're going to see it from a completely different perspective because as time goes on, we just get more wisdom and we understand things better and we heal and we open and that's just the truth. So really just give yourself time and space to feel and go through this experience.

Tip number two, this is your time to fill up your own cup. And what I mean by filling up your own cup is when you're in a relationship, inevitably, you are taking on a lot of another person's experiences, emotions, communication. And that is such a beautiful thing. Relationships are mirrors. They are our biggest opportunities for growth, not just romantic relationships.

But now you have been given a time and a gift to be alone and to tend to your own vibration. And although this seems not such a good thing when you're going through heartbreak, like, oh, you feel so alone or so confused or so lonely, it's actually a very big gift that the universe is giving you. The universe is telling you right now,

Listen, this is your time to give all of your energy and invest all of your undivided attention into you, into your goals, into your dreams, into your health, into your well-being, into your mind, into your spirit, into your body. This is your time. And that is a gift because if I told you tomorrow that you're going to meet the love of your life, your future husband and your future wife, if I told you that,

you would want to make the best out of your last day being single. And so I invite you to look at being single that way because you truly never know when you're going to meet the love of your life. You truly never know. Every single day, something could shift. It's that fast. I don't know if you guys heard the snap, but it's like things shift so fast in life

So you have to look at this time being single as an opportunity and as a gift, as a gift for you to follow your goals, to set new intentions, to set new manifestations, to be you and to learn how to enjoy your own company because it is so powerful. Tip number three, surround yourself with people who make you feel loved because what happens when a relationship ends, we feel like love has just been taken away from us.

But the truth is love is an energy. It's everywhere. It's in the trees. It's in the nature. It's in the sun. It's in the people. It's in the friends. It's in the family. It is everywhere. Love is not just something you get from a romantic partner. But what happens when we go through that heartbreak, it feels like we're suddenly deprived of love.

And that is why my tip for you is to surround yourself with other sources of love during that time, especially during this time. Allow yourself to be wrapped in the energy of love all over again, just a different type of love. So loving friends,

friends surround yourself with friends that make you feel empowered that make you feel loved who hear you who listen to you who give you comfort surround yourself maybe with family if you have family members who make you feel empowered who get make you feel warmth and love surround yourself with them animals be with your dog be with your cat go out to nature if you have a horse i don't know like

the list is endless but surround yourself with the energy of love i really have to say this one thing and i think it's gonna change your perspective on a lot of things because when i had this realization it changed things for me too is i used to walk around being like love is hard love is pain but love is not hard and love is not pain true love is easy and effortless and love is just love

So I really want to reiterate to you that love didn't break you. Love is the thing that is going to heal you because so many of us, we tend to like go against love. Suddenly we get our heart broken. We're like, love sucks. People suck. Relationships sucks. Men are trash. Women are suck.

And it's just not true. This heartbreak happened because it is a lesson in disguise. It is a blessing in disguise. And it is teaching you something so deep within yourself that you don't even know. You don't even realize it. But I promise you that you're going to have this aha moment that's like,

This experience was meant to happen for me and there was a reason behind it. You're going to understand it. You're going to get that clarity. I promise you. You always get the clarity every single time. You just have to be open to it and you have to stay open. That is another thing I really want to tell you guys. Going back to the love thing. Love didn't break you. I'm going to tell you that a million times. Love is a thing that's going to heal you.

surrounding yourself with people who make you feel loved is what's going to heal you. It's what's going to open you up. It's what's going to free you.

Do not close yourself off during this time. It is so easy to isolate. It is so easy to sit and just not want to speak to anyone and not want to feel love ever again. I know it. I've been there. But I promise you that although you feel this way, you have to resist that feeling and you have to go and you cannot let that feeling break you or wallow you. You have to tell yourself that you deserve love, that you are worthy of love and you have to give yourself that love.

Which whatever format may come to fruition in your life, allow yourself to feel that love. Don't deprive yourself of it because that is what will heal you. Tip number four, do not allow this heartbreak to make you bitter and close your heart. And let me explain what I'm saying by this because I'm not saying, okay, you just had a breakup with your boyfriend of three years and suddenly like you need to have an open heart and be going around dating and, you know, checking out guys on Bumble. That's not what I'm saying.

But I'm saying is a lot of the time when we get our hearts broken, we start to hate. We start to make everything black and white. That is what I wanted to say.

And I just want to tell you that when you close your heart to love, and when I say close your heart to love, it doesn't just mean romantic. But when you close your heart to love, you are closing yourself up to your natural essence because you are a being of love. You came on this earth to experience love in all shapes and forms. So do not let this heartbreak make you bitter. Do you hear me?

Do not let this heartbreak make you bitter and make you cold and make you hard. Allow this heartbreak to soften you, to make you stronger, to make you wiser, to open you. Because one of my favorite quotes is, your heart has to break in order for it to open. No matter where you go, you have to remind yourself, okay,

Maybe I'm not open for a relationship. Maybe I'm not open for another partner to come into my life right now. That's okay. But my heart is still open. My heart is still open to love because love comes in all shapes and forms and you are worthy of experiencing it every single day on this earth. That is what you came to do is to experience love. Tip number five, cut the energy cord and pull back your power. And let me explain this one because this is honestly the most important one.

I'm someone, this is just my personal opinion, maybe some will think it's controversial, but I stick to this. This is my belief, is that staying in contact with your ex is deterring and blocking your growth and your healing.

Because when you stay in contact with your ex, you are keeping the energy between you guys alive. There's an energetic cord between you guys. And the more that you contact your ex and you talk to them still and you stalk their Instagram and you like their photos and you try to see if they have a new person, you are keeping the energy cord between you guys alive. And that is blocking both your and their healing.

And I'm not trying to be like, okay, cut the contact. Like I can't tell you what to do. This is your life. And also every situation is different. It is very different. Like let's say you have kids together with someone and you got divorced. You can't just cut that person out of your life. But this is more of a general advice. If like you're younger, you're in your 20s, you're in your teens and you're listening to me and you had a relationship just end and you don't have kids together and you're not married and this relationship came to an end, I'm telling you that the biggest gift to yourself that you can give is

is cutting the energy cord between you guys. And that means not contacting them anymore. And I know it might seem sad and I know you might think to yourself, no, but we said we would be friends. I'll be friends with my ex. Like we can be best friends. We were best friends before we dated. We'll be best friends after. No, it is different. The dynamic is different.

And you might even be consciously knowing that you're hurting yourself by contacting them. Maybe it's subconscious. But you are keeping the energy between you guys alive. And you have to learn when to let go. Let them go. And I know it's hard to hear. I know it's not easy. But the energy between you guys, it came to an end for a reason.

And if that person is meant for you in this lifetime, they will find you again. I promise you that what's meant for you will never pass you by. If you guys broke up and you guys are still meant together, you'll find your way back. I promise you. But right now, you have to be willing to let go and surrender and trust.

And part of letting go is truly letting them go. I know that's a hard thing to hear and I'm not trying to give you the nicest sugarcoat advice. I'm trying to give you the best advice that's going to empower you in the long run. And I just think back to myself like to be honest when I had my breakup, I was still contacting my ex for like the first two months and

And it was really deterring my growth because it was on and off. And it's just like we weren't together. So we would just contact each other. And it was just this constant burst of feelings and emotions all over again. And it just didn't serve either of us. And I have to say that cutting the contact, although it is one of the hardest things you're going to have to do, it is one of the most empowering things you do for yourself and for the other person. If you care about this other person, you will allow them to heal too.

You will allow them and give them space to heal because they deserve to heal too, whatever path that they are on. And you deserve to heal. You deserve to truly give yourself an opportunity to heal. And when you are keeping the energy between you guys alive, you're not allowing yourself to do that. So I want to end this podcast episode with a little quote, words of wisdom, that has changed my perspective on heartbreak. And I really, really hope will also change yours.

So here we go. I feel like I'm reading like the speech to a kindergarten class, but hear me out. Be thankful for every heartbreak for they were planned. They come into your life just to reveal another layer of yourself to you and then leave. Their purpose is to shake you up, tear apart your ego a little bit, show your obstacles and addictions, break your heart open so new light can get in, make you so desperate and out of control that you have to transform your life.

And then so you do. All you need is to take one step forward. Your heart is growing stronger every single day. I don't know about you, but I think that that is so beautiful and transformative. And I want to end this podcast episode really quickly by just sending you a wave of love. Because the whole episode and the whole theme of this podcast today was love.

And love is energy and I can send it to you from anywhere. So maybe close your eyes right now, put your hand over your heart and just receive this love, okay? I'm sending you love. I'm literally like using my hands right now as I'm speaking like emotion of like Reiki energy of love.

claim it for you right now before this podcast episode ends, claim it, take it on with you for the rest of the day. And know that you are so loved and dearly appreciated by me. And I'm sending you a big hug. Beautiful souls. Thank you so much for joining me in today's episode. As always, feel free to DM me on Instagram if you have any topic suggestions for future episodes, or if you would like to apply to be a guest on the show. I

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