我从事LGBT群体反家暴工作近九年,从学术研究到一线服务,亲历了这个领域的诸多挑战与希望。这段经历让我深刻理解家暴的复杂性,也让我对个体力量与系统性变革有了更深层次的思考。
一线工作的三个层面:个案、社群与机构建设
我的工作并非单一模式,而是涵盖三个层面:一线个案服务、社群赋能和机构建设。我们机构的LGBT家暴防治工作采用金字塔结构:
家暴的定义与类型:权力控制是核心
家暴并非简单的肢体冲突,其核心在于权力控制的关系。我总结了家暴的三个核心要素:
家暴可分为四类:精神暴力、肢体暴力、性暴力和经济控制。此外,我还观察到两种特殊的类型:
冷暴力虽然在日常生活中常见,但在法律层面难以界定为家暴,尤其对于成年人而言。这凸显了法律框架在应对家暴方面的局限性。
一线服务的挑战与边界:尊重求助者的自主性
一线服务并非简单的“助人”,而是需要严格遵守边界。我们只能在求助者主动寻求帮助后才能进行干预,不能主动介入他人的生活。服务者需要时刻反思自己的边界感,避免将自身需求带入服务中,以免造成二次伤害。
长期的服务工作会给服务者带来替代性创伤,这需要我们不断学习和提升自我边界感,并通过督导和团体互助来应对。
案例分享:多元的求助群体与挑战重重的现实
我接触过各种类型的家暴案例,女性求助者占大多数,但也有男性求助者,他们的求助原因也各不相同,包括伴侣暴力、原生家庭暴力、职场性骚扰等等。
一些深刻的案例让我印象深刻,例如:一名拉拉被家人囚禁,尽管我们联系了警方和律师,最终女孩还是放弃了求助;也有一些受害者在经历了漫长的挣扎后,最终成功摆脱了家暴的困境。这些案例都体现了家暴的复杂性和多变性,也反映了社会资源在应对家暴方面的不足。
在处理求助者的威胁时,我更关注其背后的需求,而不是威胁本身。
LGBT群体中的家暴:独特的挑战与隐蔽性
在LGBT群体中,女同性恋之间的家暴案例远多于男同性恋之间。这与社会性别角色的刻板印象、权力不平衡、原生家庭压力和出柜问题等因素有关。精神控制和冷暴力在拉拉群体中尤其普遍且隐蔽。性暴力案例相对较少,但其表现形式多样,包括言语骚扰、强制性行为等。
对未来反家暴工作的展望:希望与挑战并存
目前,大陆地区针对施暴者的支持系统尚不完善。虽然很多施暴者本身也是受害者,但我们仍需要更完善的系统性支持,才能更有效地帮助受害者和施暴者。
我希望未来能够有更多资源和支持,帮助更多LGBT群体摆脱家暴的困境。我更希望有一天,家暴能够彻底消失,不再有人需要寻求反家暴的帮助。
给深陷家暴困境的人:相信自己的力量
对所有深陷家暴困境的人,我想说:请相信自己的力量。寻求帮助并非软弱,而是勇敢。报警、联系相关机构或寻求法律援助,都是有效的途径。记住,你并不孤单。
The three core elements of domestic violence are: 1) A power-control relationship, where there is an abuser (referred to as the 'relative person' to avoid stigmatization) and a victim. 2) The victim must feel harmed, which includes physical, psychological, and emotional harm. 3) The presence of a controlling relationship, where the abuser exerts control over the victim, often without the victim initially recognizing it as abuse.
Lesbian couples in the LGBTQ community are more prone to domestic violence due to the replication of traditional male-female power dynamics within their relationships. This often leads to a higher incidence of control and violence, which is less recognized because it occurs within a same-sex relationship. Additionally, the societal stigma and lack of awareness about domestic violence in LGBTQ relationships contribute to its prevalence.
Common forms of domestic violence include physical violence, psychological violence, sexual violence, and economic control. Psychological violence can involve verbal abuse, harassment, and emotional manipulation. Sexual violence includes non-consensual sexual acts, and economic control involves restricting the victim's access to financial resources.
Recognizing domestic violence involves understanding the dynamics of power and control in a relationship. Victims often seek help only after multiple incidents, as they may not initially recognize the abuse. The podcast emphasizes the importance of community education and support systems to help victims identify abuse and access resources like hotlines, legal aid, and counseling services.
Victims of domestic violence in China face challenges such as limited legal protections, societal stigma, and a lack of awareness about available resources. Many victims are unaware of their rights or how to access help, and there is often a reluctance to involve authorities due to fear of retaliation or disbelief. Additionally, the support system for domestic violence victims is still developing, with few specialized services available.
Community education and support groups play a crucial role in combating domestic violence by raising awareness, providing education on the signs of abuse, and offering a safe space for victims to share their experiences. These groups help victims recognize abusive behaviors, understand their rights, and access necessary resources. They also work to reduce the stigma associated with domestic violence and encourage victims to seek help.