Episode 303: Q&A - Changing Female Friendships, Do We Ever Compare Our SO's? & What’s Next for ABG?
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Hi everyone, it's Janet here from ABG. The Asian Bosco podcast is on hiatus, but I will be coming back with my own show, now titled Living Well or Trying To with Janet, relaunching in May. A couple of new things, the show will now be on video, but tempered expectations please, because I am now a one-woman team, but I will continue doing my best to bring you quality, and most importantly, personable content. The

The show will continue to be a combination of solo and guest conversations. I talk more about this in the first episode dropping May 6th. So please go search Living Well or Trying To with Janet on Spotify or Apple Podcasts. Or if you're on YouTube, look up Janet W. That's Janet, the word double and the letter U. Please follow and subscribe and tune in for all the episodes to come.

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Welcome to ABG, Asian Boss Girl, a podcast for the modern-day Asian-American woman. I'm Janet. I'm Helen. And I'm Mel. Wow, guys, and we don't have anything scripted. I usually am a chatterbox, so right now I think I'm just, I'm trying to, waiting for the caffeine to hit. Mel is, like, freshened from New York two or three days ago. What? From New York to L.A. Wait, am I? Is it, I mean, people, we've already talked about that. Wait, I'm from Vietnam. Wait, sorry. I don't know.

I was like, I totally forgot that you didn't go back to New York. You went straight from LA. I was like, why are you so confused? And I just said, I'm from Vietnam. She's like, that's not true either. Starting off real strong, guys. Starting off real strong. Just for reference, this episode will be coming out during holiday season. Yeah, if you're watching, I mean, I'm dressed in summer clothes still. I'm like deep into fall. I've been wearing the same outfit for the past.

month because I've been living out of a suitcase. But yes, I just came back from Vietnam. I'm extremely jet lagged. And so my brain is operating at 50%. She's also not from Vietnam. I'm not. I'm from America. Okay.

Motherland's Taiwan, though, for those who didn't know. But yeah, that was a quick update from what I've always been up to. I'm in LA now. So I've been like, just for reference, I've been hopping around for the last month. I was in SF for almost two weeks. Vietnam for, no, I was SF for a week, Vietnam for two weeks. I'm in LA for almost two weeks. Then I have a stop in Mexico for a wedding. And then I'm finally back in New York. So I've been kind of like... How do you pack for that? Yeah.

Yeah. I'm severely cold here. Wait, you have your wedding stuff as well? Yeah. That you had to take with you to Vietnam. Well, luckily before Vietnam, I actually went to a family wedding with Ray's family. And so Haley and Vicky were driving back down to LA. So I was like, oh, please take some. Here's

a bag of clothes I need for the wedding. It was a lot. Yeah. But now I'm also like running out of things and Vietnam was like really hot and then coming back to LA I didn't realize how cold it'd be. Yeah. Well we have stuff that you can borrow. Yeah which I'm like I might need to borrow a hoodie. I'm gonna wear this you're gonna see this outfit a lot for me. It's cute. I like it. You're like water. I am. It's very calming. I will say ever since we did the rebrand I've been wearing a lot more blue. Oh I'm in my orange-ish. Oh dang I'm not in my green. I'm not in my green.

Oh, yeah. Yeah. That's so funny. I feel like I really embrace... Yeah, we're really bright today. We look like... Crayons. Teletubbies. Or like Mrs. Wiggles or Mr. Wiggles, kind of equivalent. Hey, kids. New podcast today. Yeah. We're going to learn about colors. Anyway, Jay, how have you been? How have I been? Oh, nice shoes. I just noticed. Didn't they...

We haven't seen each other in a while. We're in the ballet flats. I don't know if everyone can see this. These are really cute. I am 100% into ballet flats. My sister just had a baby, so I have been deep in, like, newborn land. And when I'm not with her, I've been, like, FaceTiming her. So that's been really exciting, a new addition to the family. He looks exactly like her, which is so trippy. Like, her baby photo, we would do, like, a side-by-side, and it was insane. We're like, Sean, where are you? Like, as a dad.

Did you guys figure out? His name? Yeah. Maverick. Maverick. And then my dad gave him his middle name, which is, I don't know if I'm going to pronounce it correctly, but it's Zi Long. Long, like lad dragon? Long as dragon, but the Zi before it means son, because he's first generation and then the first boy, because our family is like, me and my sister, our generation is all girls. Oh, that's so exciting. That sounds like a strong name. Zi Long. I feel like I know a Zi Long. Oh.

Maybe. It does now that I like imagine it. I feel like I've seen it elsewhere. I think I knew someone named Yilong in high school. Anyway. Yeah. Oh, that's so cute. Yeah, that's awesome. You auntie status. Yeah. How about you, Helen? How has everything been going? Sorry, the first thing that came to my mind was I have a mole removed. You actually got it removed? Oh my gosh. Yes, I was in the group text. I wanted to... You asked, you're like, anyone want to see a pic?

So much has happened, but I guess that happened yesterday, so I guess I'll share it. I went to a dermatologist, which I had never gone to one, ever. Neither have I. Never. To just do like a full body check, right? Which is good to do. And so I had a...

mole that was a raised mole that grew during my pregnancy. I see, I see. And so the doctor said because it grew and it has changed over time, it might be better to just get rid of it instead of doing like a biopsy and then figuring out and then removing it. Because it's like, it's not that big. So...

But it was like on my boob. So, so I like stripped out and like showed it to him like, oh, that's so awkward. And he touched it and he was like, all right, let's remove it. And then that day, yesterday, I got like anesthesia. And then he just went. They give you anesthesia? Yeah, like a little needle just to numb it. Oh.

Oh, no, but there's a needle involved. I didn't know that that would have to happen. It wasn't that painful. I feel like I'm so used to needles now. But it wasn't that painful. It was just like a stinging sensation. And then he just like scraped it off. Scraped it? Wait, there was no like laser? It was a laser. Okay. But he said scrape. And so, I mean, I didn't feel it because it was numb. But he basically just whoop it off. And then this little like brown thing just...

fell out. Did you keep it? I did not. So they are sending it in for a biopsy just to double check. But I took many pictures of it as it was just floating around in this little tube. And I sent it to Phillip and I'm like, look, my mole. My boob mole. Oh my gosh. Why is that the one thing that I share as my update? I don't know. It's a big deal. It's a big deal. Yeah, part of my body is floating out there somewhere. What an interesting morning. Good luck with the results, though.

Why am I nervous for you? What do you mean the results? Don't be nervous. Oh, the results of the... Yeah. I mean, because it shrank back after the pregnancy, the doctor was like, oh, it should be fine. Okay. But because it did change, he was like, but at the same time, my body expanded so much that maybe that's why it also grew with my body. I see. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And so he said it should be normal. But yeah, he's just double checking. That's good. Yeah. Okay. Yeah. Anyway...

What are we talking about today? Yeah, so today's episode, we're actually doing a Q&A episode because it's actually been a very long time since we did one of these. And, you know, we love hearing from our listeners and you guys ask such great questions. So we compiled a bunch of questions that we had submitted through Instagram and we're going to kick it off.

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How do you conquer Asian flush? I guess that question is for me. I think I'm the only one here that gets Asian flush. Right? I don't really get flushed. I don't get flushed. Whoa. Okay, yes. So one way to do it is to not drink. Duh. But if you do want to drink, I think a lot of people already know. Pepsin. Max strength. I pop two to three pills 15 to 20 minutes before I start drinking and it works wonders. I know that sounds like a lot.

two to three pills. But I talked to my brother-in-law who's a pharmacist and he says that the dosage within each pill is actually not that high. So he says it's okay, but obviously take that with a grain of salt. Don't be like chugging down Pepsid. But yeah, that works for me. So that's how I combat it. Or you just embrace it. That's true. I like that too. Embrace it.

I would say yes to that, but it does make me feel extra like. Oh, so if you feel a sensation. That's true. Because my face gets red so quick. Yeah. Also depends like to be honest, like my stepdad, he's like tomato red. And I'm like, I don't know if he should embrace that.

Because then we're a little more concerned when he's like, I feel fine. That's also a concern if you're taking the Pepsod to mask your body actually reacting in that way. That's true. Yeah, just be careful, but, you know, try not to drink much. Don't listen to me. Don't listen to me either. The next question is, your thoughts on Ozempic?

It's been all over the news. All right. So to be quite honest with Ozempic, yes, we have seen it everywhere. Like a lot of speculation on certain celebrities taking it. But they're like, oh, how do they lose so much weight? To be quite frank, I haven't done that much research on like the benefits or like what Ozempic really is for. I know it's for diabetes. Right.

But people have been taking it because they've noticed that it also results in weight loss. Personally, for me, I feel like, you know, to each their own. Like, if you feel like you need it to help you with whatever fitness goal, maybe, you know, you do you. But for me, it just kind of scares me because I don't really know this, like, the prolonged side effects or the effects of it. So I personally wouldn't take it. I also think because, like, obviously, as someone that, like, is, you know, been on this fitness journey, I kind of want to, like, do it the natural way. Like, I want to, like, be able to eat, like –

my whole foods and work out and like get to the body that I want by doing that because I sometimes feel that ozempic I'm just like I feel like I'm I'm cheating and I don't want to cheat because I want to do it like but I'm also don't I don't cheat in school too so I just like to do things the right the right good girl the right way or the by the book way and so that's why I'm like personally I wouldn't use it yeah yeah I have thoughts on ozempic too first I think it's like a truly

like new finding. Yeah. Like how crazy is it that weight management has been something that's been like such a big industry and like this is the, not this year, but like more recently it's been discovered. Yeah. And now people are actually using it.

My exposure to it is that my grandma was actually prescribed it for her diabetes to regulate her blood sugar levels, which sounds so weird because given the social context of like how Ozempic is being spoken of, it's like, oh, my grandma's on Ozempic. Yeah. But she has always, you know, taken the advice from her doctors and taken whatever they've prescribed to her. But-

within like the WeChat-er sphere. A lot of people talk about Ozempic and how it works and also all the botch stories about it. So she actually knows a friend of a friend who was fairly thin and she started taking Ozempic. I don't know if it was prescribed to her for any reason or if she was like abusing it, but she grew this

big lump in her throat and I guess one of the side effects of ozempic is that you can have thyroid tumors oh so that happened to her and that wrecked her body yeah and because of that my grandma's like oh I'm not taking this drug like why would I want to do that to my body yeah and I said no if it's you know doctor prescribed and he's watching you I'm sure that's not going to happen you actually need it for your diabetes you should take it but because of like the social um

dialogue about Ozempic, it's sort of given it this like negative connotation of like, oh, it's not good for your body, but it works fast. So it's just so interesting that like my exposure to Ozempic is like, oh, my grandma should be on it, but she's not because people are sort of like abusing the drug. Yeah. That's not fair. Yeah. All right. The next question is, is Janet seeing anyone? Hoping for the best. I appreciate the interest.

or maybe concern. I think my love life has been a little all over the place these past couple of years. At the moment, I am not seeing anyone. By the time this episode comes out, I don't know. Will that be different? Who knows? I've stopped trying to predict my love life. So yes. Thanks for that question, though.

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Okay, the next one is, do you ever compare your significant other to other people's SOs? Ooh, juicy. Great question. There's definitely instances where I have compared and sometimes I think it's like,

I don't want to say beneficial, but it's like a little bit more positive for your relationship and sometimes more negative. And like a positive example, let's say you see your friend and their partner doing something and you don't really like what the partner is doing to the friend or whatever. It makes you appreciate your partner because you're comparing their actions. You're like, oh, my partner doesn't do this. Thank God or like whatever.

The negative part of it is sometimes you'll see your girlfriend with their partner and you're like, oh, I wish my partner did this. And then bringing that up to your partner can cause some tension. And I've definitely had conversations about this before with Ray. And he was like, why are you comparing us to them? We're not them. You know, and I think it's, you know, it's a conversation to be had. But I think my takeaway from this is that in the end, I don't think you should really compare because

Because it's actually more hard than good. So even though I gave that first example, I don't think it's actually really a good thing to do. Yeah, we should say don't compare. But I think it's inevitable. It's like hard not to sometimes. And especially if there's something that you're like, oh, I like that.

that aspect of this couple's relationship, I don't think it's harmful to bring it up. It's more just like why you figure out the core reason of why you care about that so much. And if it matters that much, then maybe you guys can work towards becoming whatever that, you know, that thing is that you like, um,

And it can be like an aspirational goal or something for the two of you. So I think it's hard to say that you just don't compare though. I know. Because in the back of your mind, you kind of do. It's natural. That's true. We compare everything, right, as humans. It's kind of how you like understand things. Maybe it's more like how you deliver it. Yeah, that's true. Like if you're saying it's something that's like, this is something that I really like. And by the way, this is a couple that I saw that kind of X, you know, shows that. And then versus like, like,

Why can't we be like them? Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's true. Maybe it's the wording of it, the compare. Yeah. I think sometimes compare, that word has a very negative connotation. The next question I would like to know also. How do you know when you're ready to marry your partner? Are we all answering this question? The only married one here. I'm going to ask the married person of the trio. How do I know?

It's funny because when I think back, I feel like it was always like a gut reaction or a gut knowing that he was going to be the one, even when we were in our early stages of just dating. Oh.

Oh, so you knew from the beginning almost. I feel like I did. But at the same time, I did have this feeling with other guys too. So maybe that's not the best indication. But I did have that feeling with Philip for sure in the beginning. And I think that's the reason why we kept coming back to each other. But if I were to answer this in a more tangible way, I would say that we share very similar core values and life goals. Mm-hmm.

Like when it comes to family and joint finances and career and religion and spirituality, I feel like we're really aligned there. And those are like the big buckets to make sure that either you're aligned or at least you're compromised to the point where you're settled in the feeling of being compromised. Yeah.

in those, like, if there is any tension there, like, you get to a place where you're both good. Yeah. You know, because those buckets, I think, are important to long-term compatibility. Yeah. Like, if any of those are a little bit off, ooh, it can get uncomfortable, you know? I also think he was someone who, when we first started dating, he had said to me, like, oh, I want to make sure that things are, like, 50-50. And that was, like, a...

I do want to be with someone in the long term that will split things with me, not in a true 50-50 way, but in a way where it's like, oh, I don't expect you to be a housewife. I don't expect you to be doing all the housework. I want to be involved. As busy as I get, I want to be present and involved. And that was really important for me too, for a marriage, a true marriage. I have a follow-up question. Yeah. That might be selfish for me to ask, but in terms of timing though, because you guys have been together for a while, but you're like, this is the right time. Yeah.

To take it to marriage. Yeah. That to me, because it was, we were on and off for so many years and then we were on and living together for multiple years. I think after a while, you just kept kind of like,

All right. It's like it almost already feels like you're already married. Yeah. You've already committed to each other and all that way. It's experiencing some level of like a married couple and thinking to yourself, oh, this is the person that I want to wake up to next to for like the rest of my life. I think it really that that core feeling of like when we weren't together and I woke up and he wasn't next to me, I always wanted him there. And then when that did happen every night, I'm like, oh, this is what I want forever.

forever. So maybe that's like a good indication of like longer term commitment. I don't know. I mean, to each their own, right? This answer is going to be so different for every single person out there. But I would say that those were some of the main reasons why marriage made sense for us. Yeah. Amongst many others. But yeah. Thank you. Yeah.

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Okay, so I got the next question. It says, how do you deal with changing female friendships in your mid-20s? I feel like friendships in all stages of your life change. But perhaps the 20s can be a particularly challenging time because it's like when you first really become a true adult and you are outside of systems like college or high school or like

places where there's like a natural community to build friends, right? Once you start working, it does kind of feel like you go into the real world and you have to be really proactive with your friendships.

But I would say when you're going through that and your friendships are changing, the biggest thing is to just accept that friendships are going to look different. They are going – like every friendship is very individual, right? And be open-minded in terms of like how that friendship may evolve, how the terms of that friendship might not look like your other friendships. So I think just remaining open-minded and flexible. I agree with that. My answer is like stress about it. Yeah.

I think, yeah, I think, Janet, you just worded it perfectly. I feel like each friendship is truly individual at the end of the day. Like, it's your dynamic. I think there's, like, multiple things can happen, but there's two patterns I've noticed. It's, like, one is, like, you eventually, you and your one friend kind of just naturally evolve into the new type of dynamic that's going to happen, whether it's, like, talking less but still being there for each other. It kind of just happens. Yeah.

Another thing that happens is you talk about it with that friend. Like, hey, I noticed we're not talking as much anymore. I noticed like I have gotten this talk before after college when I came back to visit. I got a talk from a friend saying like, I feel like you don't prioritize our friendship anymore. You prioritize your other friends.

And I had to like apologize and then reflect and realize that like, oh, I actually don't prioritize this friendship. And that was the reality of it. Me and that friend were fine, but I don't talk to her as much anymore. But I think sometimes those friendships naturally will have that relationship.

So I think it's okay to talk to some of these friends if you feel uncomfortable or they feel uncomfortable because I think it's like a reality check sometimes for some of the friendships is like, you know, that saying that like, you know who your real friends are in the end, that kind of plays into this factor of like, as things evolve and change, how do you maintain the one, the friendships that are actually meaningful to you? And I think having that conversation kind of does, you know,

you know, help that. I think for me, even moving to New York this year, all three of us talked about like, we really love this friendship. We want to make this work still. And obviously things are going to change. But I think having the conversation between the three of us and saying that we still want this, we still care about this places placed a lot more importance on our friendship. And like, it made me go, yeah,

Yeah, I'm going to still put in the effort. And so I think having that conversation with the friends as you're going through life changes also can be beneficial. Yeah. And also just know that friendships, it's so natural for it to just evolve over time. Like that's just a natural thing. And I think once you accept that, then you feel less sadness or guilt that it happens when it happens. It will happen, right? It's inevitable. Yeah.

But just know that that's a normal part of the process. And sometimes if a friend is leaving you, that void that is going to get filled by another friend, maybe that person is actually more aligned with your state or where you are in life right

right now. So just be gentle with yourself as it's happening. It's a natural process. And who knows, they might come back into your life in the future. Next question, piece of advice you'd give to a girlie who wants to start her own podcast or project? Come into the studio. Mine might be a little bit more harsh.

And more straight up. Straight up. We do get this question a lot. First thing is to create a plan. Like, create a plan for yourself for the podcast, whether it's recording times, like, a schedule. I think scheduling for us helped us so much. Like, release on Thursday. So what is your cadence? Like, create your plan and your timeline. I think a timeline is also important because as you're starting something new, you've got to evaluate if you want to continue to do this. The second thing, the hard question you actually have to ask yourself is, like, why are you doing this? Like, why do you want to start a podcast? Mm-hmm.

Is it because you are looking for a creative outlet and you feel like podcast is the best fit? Or you feel like you just want to monetize? I think all of this why question will help you set your plan in place and also just set expectations for yourself. Because the world of podcast, people get into it for various reasons and you can't expect...

all podcasters to have the same goal and the last thing after you asked yourself the why and you wrote a plan and timeline is commit to your plan you did a plan for a reason I think committing to it also holds you accountable for pursuing a project like this so those are my three things I would give you mine's a little opposite I'd say before planning just start try it

Try it first because you might find that in that trial phase you don't like it and then there's no point in moving forward, right? But I think for a lot of people the hardest part of anything is getting started. It's always – it's an idea. It's a desire. But whether it actually goes into reality, you have to first just start doing it. Like maybe don't even purchase a mic. Just sit down and have a conversation with someone and pretend it's a podcast. Did you like it? Did you enjoy it? Do you want to continue doing it? I mean one word advice, start. Yeah.

I was going to say a mix of the two. Start, for sure, and also know why you're doing it. I feel like nowadays social media is so saturated. Podcasting space and creative fields are so saturated that a lot of people might start because they want the validation. They want the likes. They want the comments. If that's your endgame, then...

end the game. And especially if it feels like work right now, you know, when you first start, because you're going for the likes and comments, and it's like an analytical game or something like that, it's going to get harder, especially when it actually becomes work. But if it actually is coming from your passions, and you're authentically wanting to use a platform to share your thoughts and to connect with people and whatnot, then that's going to shine through and it's going to be much longer lasting than if you're chasing numbers. So definitely, definitely

Don't start if you're just doing it for validation purposes only. Wow. That's so negative. No, I think it's very honest and it's true. I 100% agree. The landscape of when we started podcasting is so different now. It is super saturated. If you don't know why you're doing it, if you don't try it, and if you don't have a plan, like it's hard to. Actually, yeah. If we were to start today, would we be able to survive podcasting?

There's so many variables. Yeah. I don't know. I think we're able to – I don't think we would be able to have the longevity that we do now if we started today. But we probably would still have gotten started and maybe had like a season or two or something. Yeah. I think we would have been much harder on ourselves to make it like perfect. Perfect. Yeah.

Yeah. Oh, because the competition is so much harder. Because when we started, what made it easier was that there wasn't really anyone to compare to, right? Yeah. Yeah. So I think your point is like, yeah, like it feels like the market is so, like the standards have gotten so high that it is really hard for a novice to come in if you hold yourself to that standard from the very beginning. I mean, it feels that way, but at the same time, don't let it hold you back from actually trying, right? Again, start, see if it does pick up traction, see if you like it. And if you do, keep at it. Mm-hmm.

You know, keep at it. There are some things in life that are okay to be a total crapshoot, like trying a new type of milk in your coffee or rolling the dice on a new workout class.

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If I had needed this product, it is what I would use. So stop putting off those doctor appointments and go to ZocDoc.com slash ABG to find and instantly book a top-rated doctor today. That's Z-O-C-D-O-C dot com slash ABG. ZocDoc.com slash A-B-G. Okay, next question. Beauty favorites. Makeup, skincare, hair care, etc. Okay, so I'll break it down for hair.

Because I do take care of my hair. So my hair favorites that I always use, it's like a necessity, is one, I do love Leave-In Conditioner. My hair is colored. I've been loving Waze Leave-In Conditioner because it smells incredible. So Waze Leave-In Conditioner. And then if you're also like a hair color girly and your scalp gets really dry, I would recommend Living Proof's Scalp.

It's like this like a bottle you just put on your hair after you wash it. And it's definitely fixed my dry scalp. I used to have a lot of like flakiness. So living proofs, dry scalp treatment really works. Sunblock. Everyone uses sunblock. I use Beauty of Joseon. That's like a really popular brand in Korea. I feel like it was popular like two years ago, but I still use it. For makeup, I got this from Janet. For my eyeliner, I use NYX's eyeliner. Is it the velvet? You don't use NYX? NYX? NYX.

Oh, I did. Yeah. I went through. Yes. It's used to be. I'm trying a couple of other brands, but that's a vegan girl. I mean, I don't know. I don't know. Maybe it is. Maybe it is. That was actually. And so Nick's is eyeliner, the liquid one, because I've been wearing that for like years now and it's easy to put on. And the one of my Holy grail lipsticks I've been wearing for almost like 10 years now is max velvet Teddy. It's the perfect color for,

for your lips to make it look like you're alive. What? Like, this is so random, but, like, I think I'm someone that when I wake up in the morning, my lips are even, like, they're faded color, or they look like I'm dehydrated. So when I wear this lipstick, it's just, like, the nice, like, oh, like, little, like,

Like you don't look like a corpse. It's the one item that I would wear out if I had to rush out. Like I would choose that over my lashes. And it matches your nipple color. I think we had a conversation about this before. For all the ABG listeners out there who have been with us for many, many episodes. I'll show it to you and you can let me know. Which one? The lip or the nipple? The lipstick. Actually, yeah. But yeah, those are my favorites. How about you two? Yeah.

My staples that are always on my kitchen, my bathroom counter, are SK-II Essence. I use that. It's expansive. You've been using that always. I stock up when it's Black Friday sales. Whenever it's on sale, I have an alert on it. I get that one. Does it really work?

I don't know. Look at my face. Does it work? I don't know. It's gotten... I mean, you told me about your skincare when you first came to LA. It looks good. Thank you. Thank you. I feel like it works. I don't know. But yeah, something's been working lately. I don't know. I've been feeling good. It's been a good, like, few weeks. Okay, so knock on wood. But yeah, SK-II Essence Sun and Park Toner. I've been getting a lot into Innisfree.

I-N-N-I-S free. That first came to me as like a PR package and I was like, oh, let me just try it out. And now I buy their stuff all the time. I love their serum. Their hyaluronic serum. Hyaluronic? Yeah. Mel, correcting me. Because I only use those products too. Hyaluronic. Yeah. Hyaluronic, yes. The serum. Yes, that one's good. And then I also use their like lotion. For hair, I use Olaplex and...

I don't know. Nails, Essie. What else? There's so many things. There's so many. Your holy grail item is Helen always has your white nail polish. Is it from Essie? That's like a thing I always see on your toes. On my toes. That is true. Don't zoom in.

Yeah, Essie. DM me if you have any more questions. Wait, what brow do you use? Your brows? I got my brows microbladed, so I barely have to touch them up now, which I am so in love with. Time saver. Yes, it is such a time saver. I highly recommend it to anyone out there who just wants to save a little bit of time doing their brows in the morning. Yeah. Yeah. Shout out to Kelly. Kelly Brows. Pass it on.

Pasadena? I am kind of brand agnostic. I change things a lot and I don't really, yeah, I don't really have a constant per se. I think especially with like hair, I kind of use like whatever shampoo is of the moment. I think, what is the way? That one smells really good. So I have been using that one. For skincare, I did start using CauseRx, the snail serum, which I

I had to get over the hump of the, like, the mental hump of, like, I'm putting snail slime on my face. Because that was, yeah. But it does work really well. And it's very moisturizing. And especially as we go into, like, winter season, my skin always gets really dry. So I literally, I put, like, three pumps of that on in the morning and then also at night. It's just, like,

always the base before I put on moisturizer. For sunscreen, I'm always using sunscreen, but I also am very brand agnostic. I could try a bunch of different ones. The Trader Joe's version that's kind of like a knockoff of Goop is really good and it's a constant. And it's also like it doesn't like get like that powderiness. It's very clear and light. Okay, I have to ask you your products because I feel like I've seen you use things and people comment asking you. So I'm going to ask you what's the thing you put in your hair so your flyaways don't? Oh, I have like a hair stick.

that I just got off of Amazon. Okay. That one? The hair wax one or something. Yeah, the hair wax. So I use that one, but there's also like a hair pomade that I will switch off with. I feel like that one works better. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. Like a little like toothbrush hair comb. To get in there with all the little like flyaways. Yeah, because I do have a lot of flyaways in that. Yeah, that is a good one. And last one for you, because these are the comments I see on Janet's post and I'm like, I'd be curious. Your brows. Do you use a brow pencil or certain gel? I use, I think it's called

I don't know. I actually... I didn't... I used to use just like regular hand lotion on my brows. I have really thick brows. And so... What? In the last like couple... Maybe the last half of year, I started using like a brow like... It's almost like a wax type thing. But yeah. So that... I forgot what brand it is. Whoa. Honestly, I'm actually...

the fact that Janet has products she's using now, it's really impressive because... This is true. I used to not be a product person. There's one time we were together and then Janet came and we were like, oh, Janet, your hair looks a little, like, oilier today. And you're like, I put body oil in my hair. I was like, girl, I think you should be using hair oil. Yeah. And I realized, oh, so I'm happy that you're trying different products.

Yes, yeah. I appreciate that. I feel like ABG has made me step up my, like, style game with, like, hair care, face care, and then also with, like, clothes. Dude. Okay. Sorry. I don't have a vagina on boss. I love you. No, please do. But I was looking at old photos when we first started, and I was like...

Dude, Janet's fashion game has like changed dramatically. I used to, I was very, and I still kind of am like on the inside and most like now like 50% of the time I live in like jeans and a t-shirt. I used to only own like two or three pairs of pants, you know, the same color and everything. Yeah. If you look back in old ABG stuff, I was like, I didn't, I don't really like care about that kind of thing, but.

part of our job is, like, that, you know? And a lot of the influence of these two ladies is really nice to be like, hey, I can't show up if they're looking, like, polished. Do you enjoy it, though? Yeah. Like, don't do it because, you know, yeah. Yeah, no, it actually is really important. It's something that my mom used to, like, hark on me a lot when I was, like, growing up, too. Like, you know, why don't you just, like, put more time into, like, getting ready and things like that? And I was like, oh, that's so cool.

That doesn't really matter. But it does. It does affect like the way that you feel. It affects the way that people react to you and things like that. The last product that I will call out though that is probably if I had my one thing that you're like you can only have one item that you use before heading out of the house, it would be Thrive Cosmetics tubing mascara. So if there's one thing that I always like mascara and that one's a really good one for Asian eyes because my lashes tend to kind of like fall down and also it's like it's a nice thick texture.

I like that it doesn't like smear too much because I do hot yoga and like the tubing kind of just comes off instead of like smearing all over your face. I use that because of Janet too. Tubing mascara. I didn't know it was called tubing. I just know it's dry mascara. Okay, our next question comes directed at Helen because Helen's hair is always on fleek in these videos. I'm like, how she says in these videos and not in real life. Like not all the time. Honestly, your hair in real life all the time is great. Like you never look greasy. You never look greasy.

Well, also you wear a hat. Girl. Yeah. So when it's greasy, it's under my hat. So what's your hair care routine? Oh man. Okay. Thank you. I appreciate this question because I don't feel like even though I'm almost like 40, I'm like, I don't feel good about how I always do my hair. I love your hair. It always changes. It always looks good. In terms of like styling, it's never where I want it to be. You know what I mean? I don't know. There's no like one look that I'm like, oh yeah, this is my look.

This is your look. This is my look. But I feel like there's something still to it that could be better. I don't know. Anyway, appreciate the comment. I don't know. What do I do? Sometimes I put like volumizing mousse in it. I think it's like a... Because with the

It's like a long silver bottle that was recommended from like a hairstylist. So I use that sometimes. And then I always blow dry my hair just because my hair is prone to breakage. So it's always better to dry your hair instead of just like sleeping on it because it will break more easily that way. Learned that also from my hairstylist. And also my Asian mom has been telling me that since like I was born to dry your hair. Then when I style it, basically just heat protectant. And then I section it off into three sections. I just use my fingers. I go whoop.

And I just and tie it up here like a little bun on top of my head for those of you who can't who aren't watching and just listening to audio. And then I split two sections on both sides and I just curl away from my face. And that's it. I don't do like the intertwined like in and out curling. Yeah. Do you ladies do that? I heard that from a hairstylist. To do that. But I'm lazy. I just curl. You just curl out. Curl out.

I don't curl. That's true. I know. I don't know who's the curling iron, honestly. Oh my gosh, this question is for Janet.

Now she's going to curl her hair. Yeah. It's really, it's simple, but I don't know if I do it right. I like that you have a three step though. It's just two or three sections. One, two, three. Top, sides. Do the sides first. Let this down. Split in the middle and then curl away. Random question. How many times do you wash your hair a week? Do you switch off every week? Like three every second or third day. Yeah. I wash it when it starts getting like itchy. Mine's when it's smelly.

Like you smell it like this? Like, you know when you do this and then you smell your fingers? Oh, it's the scalp test. It's the scalp test. Oh. Yeah. That's why I'm like, don't smell me. I don't think my hair smells. It just gets like itchy and flaky and like really greasy. That sounds like it would smell. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. This next question is from Mel. Mel, Mel.

Mel, are you still considering moving to Taiwan or has New York satisfied that itch? That's a very good question. Good question. I'm also wondering about that. I don't know if I'm like super itchy anymore. Just your hair. But I think there's like a tickle still, I think. There's a tickle. Okay. Girl, I don't know. To go to Taiwan. I think the more I think about it, what I'm actually craving is probably just

intentional time with my grandpa that's what I want more and more of I think especially with my move to New York I've been missing a lot like I'm recognizing what I'm missing the most yeah and I'm missing my family a lot and so I think a lot about my grandpa and like how um kind of by himself we've been talking a lot so next year my grandpa's actually we're moving him out of our current apartment that we lived in for almost like 15-20 years and we're moving him into a new apartment um

And I've been talking to my mom about joining her to help her move him out and maybe doing a long-term stay with him. So I think that might satisfy my tickle. I'm also coming off an Asia trip. Yeah, she's been over everywhere. So I'm also feeling a little homesick. Like, I want to be back in my home. So I don't know if I could –

want to live in Taiwan for a year. That sounds like a long time, but maybe like a month or two with my grandpa will satisfy that itch. Yeah. I've been thinking about how to like to interact with him if I'm there. Random tangent, but like when we were back in Taiwan last time, I had a moment when I was talking to my brother because my brother actually spent two weeks with my grandpa before our whole family came in. I was asking him how was it and he told me he was like

it's actually quite lonely. And when I heard that, it like really broke me. And so I was like, okay, well, my brother had time with him. Like, what can I do given this period of my life to like spend time with him? Because, you know, like I had the flexibility to do so. So I'm exploring that idea for next year, maybe early, maybe Q1. We'll see. Yeah. You should totally do it. Yeah. Yeah. Do it sooner than later. Yeah. I think that's the, I'm feeling this, like this rush to like, I need to get there. Yeah. But yeah. Thanks for that question. Good question.

Our next question, if you were a superhero, what would your superpower be? I've had my answer for like forever now. It hasn't changed. I think if I had a superhero power, it would be the ability to transport anywhere, to teleport essentially. Teleportation. Because flying everywhere, like just so many hours on a plane, I'm tired of –

I get motion sickness now. If I transport, I'll be there instantly, wherever. It's a good superpower. I think that was my original answer, too. But then I was like, if you keep doing that, it's fun. But then you're going to be alone. Just, like, going everywhere. Can you, like, grab a friend? Oh, while you're, like, transporting. While you're in the, like, third dimension or whatever. You can grab one friend. Oh, you can grab just one friend? But you can be like, who are you going to grab? I'll go one at a time. You know? Yeah.

Okay. Is that the sound also in your mind? That's how I put your mind to it.

If I had a superpower, and I really thought about this because I was like, okay, teleport. But then I think lately, and it's going to get like, but I feel like it's what weighs on me more and more these days is when you're met with someone who either is a friend or a family member, an elder, or even people you see on the news that's like just really in a bad place or not feeling good or they have like emotional turmoil or physical pain. Like I want to be able to

relieve them of that pain like the power of like healing i guess yeah yeah because these days i feel like i hear all these stories from just like things happening around us that people can't help and it's just happening and it's like i hate that feeling that i can't do anything about it instantaneously i want to help but you kind of just have to wait and support and do other things to to like mitigate how they feel but if i could just be like

I got you, you know, that that would be what I would love to have the superpower of. That's a great answer. I really like that. Yeah. I resonate with that a lot. There were periods in my life where I felt like the ability to alleviate suffering would be so powerful. The ability to heal is your superpower. Yeah. Mine originally, my kind of like go-to answer has always been I'd love to fly just because I think the experience would be really cool.

But thinking more specifically about this time period, I think similar to Helen, but maybe a slightly variation would be I would love the ability to just

like truly feel at peace in my mind and calm all the time I think that would be because I can't there's like so much shit happening in the world right now it's like chaos right the only thing that I could do is be able to control like my perspective and then part two of that is if I could do that for other people then I think like if I can help everyone just be calm in your mind and have peace of mind then I feel like that would mitigate like there would be a domino effect of things kind of like calming down sorry

Over here is the great, serious answer. I like to transport. It's okay. We all wanted to too. We just added a sub bullet point to that. Great answer, ladies. Okay. The next question and last one for today. What is the future of ABG? Ooh. This is such a great question. We actually have some very big news that we're going to be sharing in a couple of episodes that are upcoming.

But something we do know that is happening in the new year is we are going to be doing a in-person tour. Details are still to be locked down, but likely to be in LA, New York. We are going to be going on tour though. So that will be happening maybe January, February in 2025. But yes, outside of that, we do have some big news coming up in a couple of episodes or maybe next episode.

Whenever this falls in the lineup soon. Thanks for the questions, everyone. That was fun. Yeah. It's been a while since we did that. Yeah. We started off really chaotic and then it kind of. It's like chaotic. But yeah, keep sending us your questions and we will maybe answer them on a future episode. And with that, we will catch you all on the next episode. Bye. Today's Supercast ABG Bestie that we are shouting out is Lanvi Nguyen. Yay.

Thanks, Lanvi. Thank you so much for your support, Lanvi. We so, so appreciate you. And we hope to see you in a future Dear ABG session. Thanks, Lanvi.

Hi everyone, it's Janet here from ABG. The Asian Bosco podcast is on hiatus, but I will be coming back with my own show, now titled Living Well or Trying To with Janet, relaunching in May. A couple of new things, the show will now be on video, but tempered expectations please, because I am now a one-woman team, but I will continue doing my best to bring you quality, most importantly, personable content.

The show will continue to be a combination of solo and guest conversations. I talk more about this in the first episode dropping May 6th. So please go search Living Well or Trying To with Janet on Spotify or Apple Podcasts. Or if you're on YouTube, look up Janet W. That's Janet, the word double and the letter U. Please follow and subscribe and tune in for all the episodes to come.