FRANCES CHARLES | Healing Women Heals Mother Earth
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I'm really proud of you for who you are and watching you grow just as much through that process and the challenges that you have taken and being very open about it. But our stories themselves that are shared with others that have locked themselves in

They'll think about that and they'll be able to one day be able to open up in that manner. They may not be able to do it today or tomorrow or next week, but when they hear our stories and we're open and honest within ourselves to be able to share that, then they'll think about it as well.

Young and Indigenous Podcast is an outlet for people to know about Indigenous knowledge, storytelling, and history. Through our youthful journeys as Indigenous people, young people, and elders share their experiences with us. Without them, we wouldn't be able to do this. We're about to tell some Reds stories. Stay tuned. Yay, podcast! Red Eye on Fire

Hello, my respected people. My name is Santana Rabang, and I come from Lummi through my mother and through my father. I come from Nooksack and First Nations Shwai Village.

I am a daughter, an auntie, student activist, and proud canoe paddler. I'm so happy to be joined here today by Frances Charles, who is a proud member of the Lower Elwha Kuala Lumpur Tribe. She has served as chairwoman for over two decades. She is a dedicated advocate for dam removal, salmon restoration, and the protection of Mother Earth and traditional homelands.

Overall, Frances is such a strong and powerful woman, and I'm so honored to know her, to learn from her, and to be loved by her. One thing about Frances that is most memorable to me are her hugs. If you've ever received a hug by her, then you should know what I'm talking about. Healing Woman Heals Mother Earth is a podcast series highlighting women's leadership within grassroots movements, but most importantly, how they take care of themselves while being involved in high-level advocacy work.

It's important we talk about how self-care is essential to being an advocate. While the movements we fight for are important, so is our mental health and well-being as women. So Frances, first off I just want to say thank you for taking the time to sit with me today. I'm so honored to be welcomed on your traditional territories. Could you please introduce who you are and where you come from?

I'm Frances Charles, tribal chair for the Larowa K'lalum tribe. I'm a mother, a grandmother, and really care, love and respect for our communities as well as the surrounding community. I live in Port Angeles here with the K'lalum Nations for 65 years now. In regards to working with our people, working with our elders, our veterans and our youth,

the surrounding agencies, governments, and everybody that gets involved with any cultural traditional values to the tribes. Thank you for your dedicated work. I know it's not easy, the work that you do, and you make it look effortless. Before we...

Get into further questions. I would love for you to just tell us a little bit about yourself. What was life like for you growing up? Community was pretty tight. I think in the younger days, I recall, we would have picnics on the beach down there. A lot of people would be at the lake swimming in the summer times. Everybody would be watching one another swimming.

having different kind of gatherings, go out berry picking, going out apple picking, or whatever the food sources were, seeing our community members down there at the rivers fishing, sharing the fish and sharing the deer and the elk or the clams, the shellfish, and a lot of that was taking place, having weekend events, events

potlatches with the families and enjoying the time and your relatives, whether they were local or from afar that come to join you for that event that weekend and having good times. I think a lot of it, not so much political involvement was what I recall at that time was enforced in any way with anybody. It was just a joyful time to be with one another through that process.

Then I would fish. I mean, I did a lot of fishing in the Elwha River, out in the ocean, Hood Canal. I really loved it out there and had a lot of fun. We would go back and laugh about how...

crazy it got out there on the boat or the weather that was there and the rough waters we had, calm waters that we had and what we caught and the jellyfish that you fought with in the Hood Canal area. But being with my family out there, it was really fun. Being with my father and my brothers, it was really fun out there. Being in Dungeness Harbor, it was working with the tides and crabbing out in front of Dungeness Harbor

restaurant there uh sitting with the tides you know and being able to cook right out there on the beach and remember the the cooking out on over the fire and baking in the sand you know baked potatoes or whatever it may have been um i remember and cherish those experiences because then to me at that time it wasn't so restrictive um there was a lot plentiful um

urchins, crab, the fish itself at times and being able to cook it outside and enjoy it and enjoy the laughter around the fire and enjoy each other without criticism. Being out in the ocean a few times and being in the canal and different locations. That's what I liked about the environment because it really soothed the soul. You was able to

really meditate in your own way out there on the water because it's a common environment out there on the calm days and and smelling the sea water and you know to change of the tides and just observing the wildlife as it was whether it's the eagles or the fish or the whales and seals sometimes you'd be praising them other times you'd be cursing them because they're trying to take your fish you know whatever had transpired with the seals and

Just the environment as a whole. Job sources, I worked with the Forest Service for 13 years as a firefighter. And I really like the outdoor environment and the physical restraints that you have to be in shape pretty much, you know, getting back into shape through the years.

Going to different territories, fighting fires, having that experience and going into a crew boss mode but also a helicopter manager mode was one of the best things that had happened to me through my lifetime because we got to see a lot of different territories. I know that I wouldn't be able to go out on my own through the fire crew, through the Forest Service.

It meant a lot of different people of all races and having the opportunity to work with them side by side, but also seeing the discretion of what had taken place with Mother Earth through the wildfires and recognizing the impacts that it had, but also recognizing the good out of it after there was a fire of how Mother Nature herself had healed herself in many ways.

It was challenging, but also the experience in itself with the management parts of it and really known what was coming forth. Not known that I would be in this position today or over 20 years, 30 years ago, but that experience with the forest fire management parts of it had helped me grow in that aspect of it to understand the importance

what the environment had held, but also how we had done control burn-in to feed the revegetations and some of the other stuff that had occurred.

having fun with it sure there's times like I'm thinking what the heck am I doing out here you know on different territories but different weather and seeing Mother Nature itself do what she has done and whether we're in North Dakota South Dakota Oregon states or wherever we have um

were sent off to the earth itself. It was just amazing to see what had transpired in the dry territories that we were in, but also watching the clouds come in and we knew that it was going to downpour on us, you know, seeing it from afar. Being able to look at reading the weather

Why we were out there with the tools and the knowledges that we had within ourselves and being able to share that acknowledgement and the teachings with different territories. And then continuing on, I got appointed onto tribal council in '93.

And it was something that I wasn't too sure about that I wanted to get involved in. My mom was involved in it, my brother, my sister, my father was a chair for many years just as well. Working in that category as a chairperson as well as a secretary, treasurer, and a councilperson, but learned a lot from that.

previous council members and still learning today on those parts but really seeing the change, really observing how we can work together but also the criticism that comes with it not only from the surrounding areas but within our own people.

on those parts of it just as much, but being able to endure with it and know that I was there to work with the elders, the veterans, and mostly for the future generations and the impacts that it was going to have on them and what our challenges were, what our goals were. But I always think...

the ancestors, but I also thank the previous council members because really they're the ones that put the footprints in front of us. We're walking their path on the accomplishments and been very fortunate to

Being the position that I am and being where I was when we talked about taking out the dams, because I remember being talked about for so many years, so many years, through the generations of it and through different leaderships of it within our own communities, through the councilmen, councilwomen, but we always all had the same goal of taking those dams out and being successful. ♪

The educational outreach that needed to happen, not only within our own tribe but also the surrounding areas, what the impacts were and what we had lost.

trying to bring back the restoration of the salmon because we've heard so many stories from our elders and had witnessed it ourselves of what was being depleted through those parts, but even whatever wildlife was adjacent to the river or in the river. Being there that day when we got the knowledgement of the dams coming down, but having the celebration itself, it was very powerful.

Something that I can't even express of how we felt inside ourselves on standing there with all the dignitaries and acknowledging and listening to our elders and the speeches that come forth, listening to Billy Frank Jr. and the powers of words that they had and recognizing to the fact that we were told at one time that it would never happen. And it did happen. And sadly, we lost a

Many of the elders that testified and had fought the fight for it, but was gratified to know that they were smiling down at us that day. But also recognizing the changes in the seasons of the river itself, whether we're struggling because we have low waters or right now we have the rain forces that are going on and the river's flowing high, you know.

but not so much worried about flooding like we used to be when the dams were there that were monitored by opening the gates and just seeing the river run freely and seeing the fish move up as they have and recognize that fact of it, but seeing the wildlife that has come back and just everything that has changed that whole environment of the river. It's been...

a speechless experience to see that because every time I drive by there I smile like yep we did this and we were the ones that were here to be able to witness it with the rest of the communities so that's something that we're grateful for

We're still looking at doing the re-vegetation, continually have worked on log jams. We have a very success rate on putting in log jams for the habitat and for the salmon spawning areas as they mangle on up the river, the 70 miles of river that is open now through that process. But we're looking at...

transporting some of the fish above the glines because of the challenge that we have there. We're working with a park service on that right now. We used to do it, but they put some restrictions on it, so we're trying to get that going again so that we can seed some of the fish up above to start that process up there. Overall, I feel like the healing aspect is really important

powerful in, in the story of the Elwha Dam removal and just a big part of why I chose the name Healing Woman Heals Mother Earth for this podcast series, because I truly believe, you know, like yourself, you know, you're, as you're beginning to heal, then we're able to heal Mother Earth. And there's this big connected, interconnectedness that we have with

you know, the natural healing of Mother Earth and the healing that we're doing within ourselves. How do you feel like you've healed as an indigenous woman since the dam removal and being able to, you know, the work that you also did with your guys' village site as well? How do you feel like that has healed you? I think with the river, it was something of how...

We even questioned ourselves about, is it going to happen for the dam removal? We had doubts, but we also had encouragements. And it was mostly the women that went back and testified in D.C. for that acknowledgement of the sacrifices our river had made. And it was time. It was due time to change it.

knowing for the fact that when we seen that first layer of it being removed, then we recognized that it was going to be true, that it was going to actually happen. I think a lot of that itself was the relief that was restrained, not only behind the dam itself, it also relieved what was within ourselves. It gave us that relief to be able to breathe and say,

I think this is really going to happen. Working with Chuytsyn Village site, the Grave and Dock Project is what they called, and it had to do with building bricks or blocks to repair the Hood Canal Bridge.

platoons is what they had and it was an 18 acre project and they were making like what I call a big swimming pool and they were making their concrete blocks and they would float it out into the Port Angeles harbor and transport it over to the Hood Canal Bridge to repair some of the Hood Canal Bridge structures in the water.

It was something that we ended up having to sue the state on as well as WSDOT to have them stop the project because it went on for years and we were successful in 2005 to halt it. And during their construction, is that when your, you know... Ancestors. Yeah, started...

They started utilizing the heavy equipment and as they were clearing off the land, there was isolate bones of our ancestors that were surfacing. And when that had transpired with the surfacing of it, we had the archeologists that identified it to be

femur of one of our ancestors and then they had to start gritting it out to survey it for impact effects on the site itself and the more they started surveying it the more

the village itself started to be exposed. They started recognizing that there was burials there. They were utilized as backfill. We had found some of our ancestral remains, PVC pipes, mixtures, a mass grave that probably had to do with smallpox through that time. And that was something that was very disheartening, very hurtful.

and witnessing our ancestors, the way they were taken care of and not taken care of mainly. One of the good things that come out of it was having the artifacts, looking at some of the artifacts as if it was made today, getting a history of it, being able to tell the stories of

what to where it was and what transpired from it and what it was used for tool wise as well as seen over a thousand etched stones not one that looks alike that our ancestors had crafted on rock to tell their story whether they're male they're female hunters fishermen medicine men medicine women

Seeing some of that evidence is something that I'm still learning, something that we have been told about but really had a grasp of it when we had it in our hand. Having the experiences that they did, recognizing to the fact that a few of our tribal members could not work down there because it was too hurtful or they were afraid because it was a cemetery.

But recognizing that even with our own elders, having them tell us the stories of what had transpired in our territory down there because it was our village on Edd's Hook was our village. And just the experiences that they had, something that I recall with some of the elders that it was very hurtful, very hurtful. And I still remember those expressions and

feel the pain that they were going through, through those times and listening to them and having the conversations with them at that time. But it's still a challenge to this day.

And having the opportunity to work with all of the tribals, we had over 100 tribal members that worked down there, but watching them grow as well was something of the positive aspects of it. And having them learn some of their history was a positive part of it.

But frustration, anger, resentments that we had with how our ancestors were exposed and how they were treated in those times. But looking at the history of it was something that is really a bittersweet. Trying to talk with some of the elders was very disturbing because of their experiences or what they recalled.

and how things in their era, how they were treated, not being citizens of the United States, but in regards to how they remember and what they were told not to be in that area when they lived on Edd's Hook, when they were walking to school, the racism and the transportations of how they were treated in Port Angeles in that era. To this day, I still carry a lot of that heaviness at times.

Listening to the big wiggies back in D.C. and different areas telling us that it would never happen, no different than the dam removal. This ain't going to happen in our lifetime, Francis, you know.

really outreaching and working not only within our community but other communities that come forth and helped us through that process. Delbert Miller, some of the stories that he come up with and Skokomish when they came over that day to walk with us and witness what was transpiring on the ground and being able to call in

other nations that we utilized in Canada, our relatives in Canada to come over, relatives in the U.S., Lummi come over and helped us. A lot of the Swinomish and a lot of the other tribes that went through situations earlier on that we witnessed just as well, but also having...

the ability to talk with them and ask them about their experiences and what our guidance were and just an overall of everything because we were overwhelmed. We were definitely, you know, dealing with what we were dealing with and witnessing with what we were witnessing, seeing the ancestors

how desecrated and how they were treated in that era, but witnessing the burial parts of it and feeling the pain that they were going through and feeling the pain that our workers were going through and seeing the expression on their faces and the hurt and the anger and the resentments and being able to go over there and talk to them and encourage them and express to them the importance and having them brushed off and

having the prayers and the circles that we had to deal with every morning, going in there praying every morning, praying as we left the lands. But it was something that I think again with some of the stories from our elders that they couldn't walk in there, they couldn't drive in there, they couldn't get past that gate. But recognizing the importance of understanding the pain that they were going through.

Listening to their stories, what they had buried so deep, I drew that back out. But being able to talk them through it,

And having them, listening to them talk through it and then having them bury it again, you know, and checking in on them, making sure they were okay after those conversations and listening to them as they expressed more.

what they had to say and having somebody check in on them, having family check in on them. I think that was one of the things that I regretted the most is bringing out those things that they had buried so deep and to hurt the resentments and the angers that they had and understanding why, but it had what the impacts were for them.

Yeah, I'm sure that that process and the healing aspect of that is there's no destination on our healing journey. So I can imagine, you know, the feelings and emotions that still come with with that. I think the biggest thing is being able to express that. And I know a lot of Native people have a really hard time expressing themselves, but I think

For me, I truly believe that there's a lot of strength in vulnerability when you're able to express yourself wholeheartedly. You know, I think it's really powerful because you allow other people to feel what you're feeling. And, you know, a lot of people can relate to what you're feeling. And so...

Listening to the story of our elders and the pains that they were going through, but also the emotions they weren't able to share and express. I mean, those are some of the factors that we go through with today again. When you're doing the negotiation processes of it, you've got to be strong. And you're like playing a deck of cards. You're not going to give them, show them your hand.

on those ones. So these are some of the things that went through my mind in different time frames of how am I going to move this process and take the next step and what is that, where do you draw the line and how do you handle that when it doesn't go your way and how are you going to be able to carry it to go back to your people and to your future generations and you tried your best but yet this is where I failed.

But did you fail? You know, I mean, you doubt yourself, you question yourself on those parts, but it really got back to the relief of being there witnessing it, being able to maintain the emotions.

Because a lot of the times in the old ways you wouldn't show your emotions kind of stuff in that area, but being able to express it freely and recognizing that the dam and the rivers was opening up freely because it not only relieved itself from retaining all of what it had retained for all of those years, those hundred years, but we were able to release it no different than the river was starting to release water.

But spiritually wise, a lot of prayer. A lot of prayer. Whether you did it within yourself or your family or with a group or just with a gathering that you always think about what the outcome is going to be and you pray for it. Don't give up hope. I mean, there's times where we were on the drawdown and we didn't ever think it was going to happen.

But then we always remember to pray because that's what we were always told, "Pray in your own way and ask for others to pray for you through that part." So that's what we did too. That's what I did. I would always pray to have a better day and look at the Creator for what needs to happen and give us that guidance and give us the words and be there with us spiritually and culturally because not everybody believes in that manner.

You got to believe in yourself even though others criticize you for it or they don't believe But you got to be able to believe within yourself to be able to carry that to take that away from the families or to take that away from your kids or Be able to take it from the elders so that they're not carrying that burden. Yeah, I I can relate to that I feel like as a person who's

kind of taken in my brothers and, you know, my mom now lives with me. My grandpa lives with me. I've put a lot of energy towards fixing other people or taking away other people's pain and carrying it as my own. And I think now I'm starting to learn how to, when I pick that up to set it down and, you know, that's been, um,

I begin praying too. I wake up in the morning and I ask our ancestors for strength to get me through the day because sometimes days are just really hard to get by. And I just recently started thinking more for myself

But I know that that will always be in the back of my mind is how can I be there for my family? How can I be there for my people? But I think it's important to remind ourselves that we need to be taken care of too. And I feel like as a chairwoman, you've probably done so much for other people and put a lot of people before yourself, put family before yourself and

That's admirable. But at the same time, I feel like part of what I want this podcast series to be about is reminding ourselves of what self-care looks like for ourselves as women. As we do a lot of this work, things can get really heavy. So I would love to know how you take care of yourself mentally. Yeah.

Physically, spiritually, what did you say? I think I said, or do we, in that part. I'm still trying to learn that. But even on tribal council and being available 24-7, whether it's for something going on in the community, a community event, the traveling that we have to do, the recognitions that we've got to go to, through those parts of it. And yeah, family or friends

always seems to be on the bottom of the totem pole. Definitely ourselves through that part of it because we do have to remind ourselves we need to take care of ourselves and that's always hard to do.

You're always criticized. It doesn't matter who you are and what role you play, you're always criticized. It's kind of a damn if you do and a damn if you don't, per se. Really working with the community, I always try to make them a top priority, doing what I need to do, answering the phone 24-7. Usually a lot of the times, early morning phone calls, which I have to say I don't like because sometimes it's not good news sometimes.

you know, and working with families on funerals and stuff. I mean, those are some of the things that you have all kinds of different hats that you're wearing, whether socially or emotionally or...

just in general to be their support or you're enjoying it because you're at a cultural activity or some part and you're watching the young ones out there on the dance floor and it's something that inspires you because you're proud of them. You're a proud parent. You're a proud community leader. Watch them through that part. ♪

I think a lot of what recently had transpired with my husband has set me back on that part. Sorry. I had to recognize I needed to step back, which I did. And seeing that happen, I knew then I had to start looking at my other kids, my children that I have, but also the grandkids.

So that gave me a breath to recognize that because even some of the council members come and say, "Wow, you took a day off. It's not like you to take that day off." Seeing the emotions of the loss, I keep track of everybody pretty much that passes away, whether they're local or from afar.

also being there to be strong for the family, knowing what pains that they're going through, but not being able to show them your emotions of it unless you walk away by yourself. You're going down to the beach or you're going to the river to cleanse yourself or walking through the brush to get it off of you. Whatever spiritually tasks that we have to do within ourselves to take care of ourselves are some of the things that we have to step back to.

That is kind of the rude awakening that, I shouldn't say rude awakening, but the awakening call that I got is when I started experiencing what my husband was going through and recognizing to the fact of listening to what he was saying that he felt his body was doing or wasn't doing. Being able to recognize his ups and downs and the depression aspects of life

the ability to do what he needed to do and start dealing with that processes of it and then setting back saying okay now how am I feeling you know about it with the medical parts of my life and am I taking care of myself or am I not you know. Well when you told me everything about with Doug then I made sure to say a prayer for you and him and your family and

I'm sorry that you had to experience that to, to be able to get you to start thinking. I mean, it's kind of like a blessing in disguise to start thinking in that manner about yourself because that's important. You know, your, your mental, physical and spiritual wellbeing is just as important as anybody else's. And I think it's in, it's,

We don't acknowledge that enough. How do you envision moving forward when it comes to taking care of yourself? Well, Monday, as an example, was our anniversary. So I think the council was surprised because I didn't go in. I just texted them and said, I'm not coming in today. I didn't express why. I just said, I'm not coming in today.

And then when I got down there to the office, they're like, "Oh wow, are you okay? You didn't come in today?" And I said, "Yeah, I just enjoyed today."

I just enjoyed just two of us. Were they taken aback by that? Yeah, they were taken aback by it. I mean, even with upcoming stuff, I told them, nope, I'm not coming in on these days. So they recognized that fact of it. They didn't really question it. They just honored it in their own ways. When 5 o'clock comes and it's last week, I mean, I'm not down there until 8 o'clock at night. I leave at 4.30 p.m.

or 5 o'clock, or whatever it may take. So everybody else is starting to recognize that too, and they're like, okay. But they also recognize the fact of what was going on with Jerry too, so making sure that I get home in time to cook dinner and all of that. Usually a lot of times when I'm home at 8 o'clock, I'm still cooking. But it's really hard to take a step back.

especially as long as we have been doing it. I guess it's the natural nature of things as well. It's in our blood. As women, we're the caretakers, and that's what we want to do. We're always taking care of others before we take care of ourselves. Is that where you feel like your hard work and dedication comes from? Is that mentality of women being caretakers, or do you feel like it derives from something else, that need to...

I think it's a combination of really everything. I mean, even with my work ethics, I always had to work. I couldn't just sit around doing nothing. But also watching my mom, she was that way. She always worked, volunteered a lot, worked hard.

We were always delivering turkeys around Thanksgiving and Christmas, you know, in the back of a truck or whatever vehicle we had and different things like that. Just keeping, doing a lot of community volunteer things and just watching her and others that we were always out there doing something for the communities and outreach and canoe journeys when that transpired. Always busy culturally wise and...

I think a lot of it is just watching all of the women in our communities and other areas because you always see them out there. But yet they're the ones that really stand behind the scenes in different areas. Even with Jerry, he's always been there supporting us.

And doesn't have anything bad to say about anything, you know, kind of stuff. I love Jerry so much. Anytime I've seen him, he's always just with his phone recording you as a proud husband. Having that kind of support and the kids understanding too and having the ability. They know what I do and recognize it and being able to bring them with me on some of the trips and stuff.

having that support with them so that they recognize the importance of what they can do in the future for themselves and for the community if they choose to go that direction. But it's really just individuals that gives you the support, elders that are no longer here, but I still can hear their voices.

Yeah, Grandma Hazel. I used to love listening to her, Samson. She passed when she was about 105, but I would just spend hours with her just listening to her history and her stories, but her encouragement. Your grandma was named Hazel? Yeah, she was everybody's grandma. She's part of it. Oh, my grandma was named Hazel, too. Yeah, my mom's mom, she passed the year before I was born, so I never got to meet the matriarch of our family, but...

I have other women in my life that has inspired me to be where I am today, including all of you, you know, yourself, Amy, Cordalis, Ashley Bowers, Molly Myers, Alyssa Macy, Vanessa Castle. I really feel like you all have...

been those matriarchs within my life that inspire me, that leave me feeling empowered whenever I walk out of a room with you guys. I feel like I can do and accomplish anything. I know that I've been recently thinking about going and talking with a counselor because I just feel like as a young indigenous woman, I care so much and I can only imagine the amount of

that's on your shoulders and how you carry yourself. How do you, I guess I'm going back to the question again, and I know you're learning, but like, do you,

Do you go to the river? Do you pray? Do you talk with someone? But my auntie and my uncle over there always would tell us pretty much what I needed to be careful for and what I had to do. Whether I go into the river or get to cedar boughs or get to make the medicines, get into the tub with it and to pray...

in our own way through that part of it, walk through the forest. So they always made suggestions of what was going on. They knew what, or I'd call them and say, hey, you know, kind of stuff. I need to talk to you about something that happened or I had this dream, you know. So they would always let me know what I needed to do. And they taught us how to make the medicines.

for ourselves and how we had to protect our families and stuff like that. So a lot of the washing and the river, my husband would go to the river and then we would use the cedar boughs if needed just to brush ourselves off to leave the area and things like that. So I had good support in that area and doing that part of it. But I think even with some of the, even with any of the community, when

When they express their emotions, I mean, they know I'm a good listener. And confidentially, you know, I don't express a lot of their stories to anybody. I mean, I hold it because they're confident with me on that part of it. But I know that I don't bury it.

on that part, I do let it go and pray for them in my own way, but to make sure that we do follow up with them to make sure they're okay. Because again, it's being able to express that, but

And having that discussion with them is really valuable. And just to have a follow-up or just drop in and check on them and making sure that they're taken care of or their family's taken care of. But I was very grateful for my relatives in Canada because they made sure that we knew what we had to do.

to take care of it. Beforehand? Yeah. Or during too? Yeah, during and beforehand or even after kind of stuff. And that's something that I shared with the grandkids or the ones that were in the house at that time or just with the family in general that this is what I'm doing. And sometimes they would come up and get some of the medicine and take it home with them.

I mean, I always tell everybody I'm still learning. I mean, even though I've been in every day, I learn amazingly. Sometimes it's the kids that come up with their thoughts and it's like, oh, geez, I didn't think about that kind of stuff. It's like, yeah, it's a good idea. With my own self, I know there's times where in funerals and whatnot, having to be strong for the family.

Sometimes I'll go down to the beach or go down that way and just enjoy the sound of the ocean and that kind of releases what I was carrying from the family for their loss.

So there's different ways that my auntie and uncle in Canada says, this is what you got to do. Don't do it at this time. You got to do it at this time. You know, don't be carrying it at home and cry at home at nighttime. You know, you got to do it in the morning and don't do it in the house. Go here, you know, kind of stuff. So they really, really give that guidance. And it's something uncle is no longer here, but it's something I still hear from him. Mm hmm.

You know, he's still there when we're doing certain things in certain areas. Yeah, I'm sure you'll definitely carry that for the rest of your life. Is there any advice that you would give to any indigenous youth that may be struggling with self-care and don't really know how to take care of themselves because maybe they were never taught or maybe they just have a worth ethic like yourself and just don't take...

take the time that they need for themselves, what would you say? So I just kind of gradually go over there and sit with them and just, hey, you know, start talking with them and let them open up.

I don't question them, I just listen to them and then as they go then I'll just start talking with them however they're talking. I don't try to drill in even though I know what's happening or what's going on within their family or something that I don't go and say, "Hey, I heard this is going on," you know, or anything like that. I just, I try to let them open that door.

and then have that discussion with them and make some suggestions. And then I don't try to drill too hard on them because if I've seen others where I did, then they're just going to shut down again.

gradually work with them and say, "Hey, you know, how are you feeling today? What's going on? I see that you're here, you're by yourself. What's on your mind? You know, how are you feeling?" And just gradually have a conversation with them on that part. But really encourage them to talk. If you can't talk to me, then talk to your friend.

or your grandparent or somebody in your family that you trust or even your teacher, somebody that can help you in that area for what's bothering you. Or you can give me a call later on if you want to come and talk with you or have a conversation with you, what's bothering you.

A few times it was because they were being bullied or teased and stuff and would have those conversations about it and trying to talk to a teacher or talking to somebody so that it doesn't keep occurring. A couple times I brought in the kids that they were having conflicts with and had them all get the family tree out.

And have them all sit around and say, hey, this is your grandma was and your parents are or your grandparents are. And this is your cousin. And why are you picking on your cousin? You know, kind of just kind of go around the table with them on those parts of it and have some of the bring some of those barriers down because they were picking on them on the school bus and teasing them and doing this and that, you know.

But being able to open the door in that manner and say, you guys need to be with, support one another. This is your cousin and this is your grandparent. This is your mom, this is your dad. Or whoever, you know, the siblings are. And just start with a short conversation. Because this generation is a hard one to read sometimes on those parts of it. And seeing that.

Really trying to understand where they're coming from. And I know sometimes they don't want to talk about it because it has to do with family or they're embarrassed about it. Really trying to be open with them and say, be proud of who you are, you know, and what is it that we can help you with? Or what do you see that who needs help and...

Just having a conversation of some sort. Reflecting back to something you said earlier about, you know, criticism from our own people and them not really supporting us in certain aspects. I feel like that's the biggest harsh truth that I had to learn throughout my life. And I think that's the biggest thing that continuously...

affects me till this day, that's something that I still try and work through because I feel like that's where a lot of my abandonment issues come from is I don't know if I've really opened up too much about the tribal disenrollment that my family was involved in in the Nooksack tribe and I was part of that. I was a part of the 306 that were disenrolled and

The process started in 2012 and just this last year they evicted six of my elders, including all of my brother's siblings. And that was something that I still carry a lot of trauma from. And then, you know, really leaning into Lummi,

And once I enrolled into Northwest Indian College, that's when like my life completely changed for the better. And I was really grounded in culture and community. And, you know, I remember one of my hardest assignments was them putting a family tree in front of me. And I was like, oh, I don't I only know my grandparents. And then today I've learned all the way up to my fourth great grandfather. And that's something that has definitely empowered me.

is to know who I am and where I come from. But I think a lot of what the youth struggle with is not being supported by our own people. And I feel like the largest suicide rates come from our youth. And I feel like that's something that I...

have struggled with throughout my life is, um, thoughts of, of suicide and learning to overcome that. And, you know, building the strength within myself that, you know, I belong and I matter. And, you know, there's people out there that love and care for me. Um,

But, you know, the advice that I've gotten throughout my life through, you know, mentorship and the women in my life has definitely empowered me to be who I am today. And I'm just trying to continuously remind myself the importance of self-care because there's days where I just fight. I want to give up.

Yeah, you just got to fight those dark thoughts. And that's when I started praying more in the morning. I pray for strength. I pray for guidance. I pray to not let anyone deter me from my path that I'm on. But it really is hard to not feel supported by your own people. That's like the number one thing that just... It's just so hard to wrap your head around why people are like that. So hateful. It's like we're doing the...

colonial, you know, the, we're, we're, we've adapted this colonized mindset when it comes to, you know, you belong, you don't, or you matter, you don't. It's like, we should all be there and be instilling more love into one another, especially our youth. And I feel like one of the things that I aspire to be is someone that,

you know, create space, safe spaces for people to be able to express themselves any way that they want. And some of that too, though, is the affiliation of who you're with on that part of it. I know when I, when Jerry and I took in my two, my nephew's two kids, they were, we had them eight years now.

When we took them in there until they got to teenagers and started recognizing the comments that were made to them of who they were living with with Jerry and I and they were being teased about that in their in a way they were being teased and they didn't say anything about it for a year later, you know, and

that they were being teased because they were living with Jerry and I. Oh, you guys think you're higher than higher because you're living with, you know, kind of stuff like that. And it was their own relatives. It was their own siblings' relatives that was doing that. I know that there would be times where they would quietly bring it forth and have...

They would have a breakdown. The one he just started crying because of what was being said and how he was being talked to and stuff like that. And I would say, okay, are you looking to hurt yourself? No. Are you sure? Because I don't want to...

be there in the hospital with you. I want to make sure that you're okay. Do we need to go see a counselor? What is it that we need to do for you? Just trying to have a conversation for him to be able to start talking about it. So I would bring in my niece and

who's a counselor, and bring her in to talk to them after we got done talking to him about how we cared for him. And yes, he has to take what is being taken, but he doesn't have to carry it. And just went through all the steps with him through that part of how he was feeling and what was going on in his mind and

Why would people say stuff like that? And really on those parts of it. And talk to him about the roles and responsibilities and a lot of that. And after a while, he understood and he felt better about it. He felt, because he was having really restless nights. And we didn't know why. And that was one of the things I tell him. I says, you know, when you guys walk in that door, I always ask you, how did your day go?

And I says, the reason I ask that is because I want to know how your day went. But I says, I also recognize to the fact of your body language on how you're coming in that front door and how you're carrying yourself, whether your head's high or whether your head's low, how you're looking or whatever the tactic of it may be. So I says, I recognize that. So does Jerry.

So if there's something bothering you, we want to know that now. We want to be able to nip it now, kind of stuff on those ones. When they talk about bullying or teasing or something like that, and then I hear that it's them that did it to somebody or something like that, and I says, well, how would you feel?

If you was that kid that you'd done this to, how do you think they felt? I says, you really got to put yourself into their feet and know that those words are harsh and what you had done to them is hurtful. So how would you feel if we did that to you?

kind of stuff. And, well, I didn't think about it that way. Well, you need to think about it that way. And we always have to remember, but it's really hard when you are hearing it from your own community. When we were dealing with it with my uncle, because he was the hereditary chief, the late hereditary chief,

He would come over here to take his time off to get away from the politics of it. And I would go over there to visit with them and enjoy our weekend with them or whatever. But we would always talk about those issues of it and on how we deal with it. And one of the conversations we had was, you don't engage in it. You just acknowledge that you're hearing them, but you don't engage in their conversations of it. Just acknowledge it and walk away.

Listen to them, acknowledge that you heard them, but walk away. Don't engage in to feed them, you know, and it's like, yeah, that's kind of hard sometimes, you know, definitely something you got to practice more often. It's like, okay, I get it, you know, kind of stuff. But I understood where they were coming from on that part of it.

as well because then spiritually in those parts of it just as much too but it's challenging I mean you hear about it off and on and it's something that it doesn't matter who they are you're not going to change your mind they don't like you it's going to always carry that's a good point I feel like other than self care this year another thing that I've been wanting to work on and kind of like you're

New Year's Eve resolution is emotional maturity. I feel like sometimes I do let people get the best of me and I react to it based off of emotions rather than waiting and asking myself, well, why are you feeling this way? And where does that stem from? And then I'm

really sitting on those emotions for a while so that you're more clear-headed when you have the conversation with the person that may have offended you or said something that maybe wasn't nice and that's something that I'm definitely wanting to practice a lot more. In terms of like self-care though, I feel like for myself the number one thing that I look forward to every year is tribal canoe journeys and

But that's only an annual thing. You know, that's like two, three weeks out of the year that I look forward to every single year. So outside of that, I started work new racing. And so I paddle with Seawol from Lummi, which is John and Sus Blue. And I started that about three...

four years ago and that, you know, we start in March and end in late August. So that's something that I continuously do every single year. But when the winter comes around, I don't have...

it's like the most depressing time for me. And so this year I started going and sitting in the smokehouse more often. I've never really learned much of our smokehouse side of our culture. And it's something that I've kind of always been curious about because, you know, there's people that live that canoe paddling life and then they go straight into the winter season and live the big house life. So they constantly are having something that grounds them in our culture and

And so I feel like that's something that I've been looking to more this year. But I want to end things on more of a lighter note and talk about Paddle to Elwha 2025. How exciting is that? When was the last time that you guys hosted Paddle to Elwha? 2005 was the last time. But I think I always say...

Every year we're almost hosting because of how the canoes come this way to go to the east side. Or they're coming this way because they're going to the north side on that part of it. So we usually have 10, 40 canoes that come through in different areas of the year. So I don't know. I kind of...

I chuckle to myself sometimes. I know that everybody gets nervous about it, but I think we've done it so many times that it's almost routine. Of course, you don't ever get everything right, but you're doing that preparation for it through that.

Exciting. The theme of it is around the dam removal. I love that. That's powerful. On those parts of it. So that was something that we knew ahead of time, no different than we did with Chuitzen, because that was the theme of 2005, a reflection of our ancestors.

I say put on there, we're back 2025 from 2005, you know, kind of stuff, something crazy like that. 20 years, exactly, wow. Yeah, 20 years. And where the landing will be, that has been uncovered since the dams were removed, is that correct? We have 100 new acres of beach since the dam removal.

has occurred and so we are bringing them back down to the reservation right at the Andacharos Road. There is where we will land our canoes. In 2005 we did it down by the river mouth

But we had road access to the river mouth back then where we don't now. And we're kind of waiting for Mother Nature to take care of herself to figure out what that final settlement will be on the beach part of it. But that's where we'll be landing them. So it's exciting in that one because it's right on the reservation itself.

And having that access, limited access, but we did it before, so. That's big. Yeah. Part of what I loved so much about what Puyallup did last year was their theme was centered around youth. Yeah. And I just felt so empowered in...

you know, parts of me healed as, you know, I'm pushing 30 and, you know, seeing the younger generations be so unapologetically themselves and represent themselves so well was just so inspiring to see. And I'm excited to hear about, you know, you incorporating youth in aspects of this new journey as well, because I,

This is big for you, for you all, for you guys to be hosting the paddle to Alwa 20 years later with the dams removed. It's huge. Two successes with the Chowichan Village site in 2005 and now with the dam removal. And I think, I know when we had our discussion in council,

Everybody didn't hesitate to make sure the youth was involved in having them as the MCs per se on that one and just give them the guidance, give them the scripts that they need to go off of and be there to support them because I know a few of the tribes were asking us even when we were at different areas of why we're not down there doing all the talking. I said it's not for me to talk, it's for those little ones to get up there and talk.

That's about them. It's about those grandparents that are sitting there watching and witnessing their great-grandkids speaking the Klallam language, you know, different things like that. So that's what inspires us, and that's what inspires me in that part of it, being able to watch kids

the small ones out there dancing and learning the moves and taking over through that part of it and enjoying it and watching them. So we'll do the work behind the scenes, but it's for them to

Yeah.

Give them the opportunity to do it without questioning if they have the ability to do it, I think is the most... Yeah, and if they want to do it. Yeah, that part of it.

Those ones but we're excited about it. I mean some of them that are trained with the language Are good at it and as they grow older They do good good parts of it. So it's excited. Yeah, that's so they're all busy making their own regalia and doing their dress skirts and everything so they're getting ready to pull out the sewing machines this weekend and start whatever they want to start on and

I just got my first paddle skirt this last year. That's how late I am to the game. But you're never too late, right? Yeah, I just got my own regalia last year. Last year was the first time I danced in protocol. I always had this insecurity and fear of going out on the dance floor because, you know, when it's not really practiced within your own intermediate family, it's kind of hard to...

grasp onto that. And so I remember paddled to Muckleshoot, which was the year before. I made a promise to myself at the end of that journey that next year you're going to dance no matter what. You're just going to put yourself out there without caring what people think of how, you know, inexperienced you are with dancing. You're just going to do it. And I did it. And last year I was the first year that my niece danced in protocol and

and she danced with me and she's 10 years old. And so that's what it was all about to me is taking her out on the floor with me and empowering her that you can, you know, you can do this too. It's who you are. It's in your blood and no one should ever feel discouraged from, you know, practicing our way of life. I think that's really important. That's for sure. ♪

Well, I just want to thank you again for taking the time to sit with me. I really enjoyed this conversation and just hearing all the knowledge that you shared with me and being vulnerable and sharing your words and your experiences.

your emotions with me. I feel really honored to be here with you and I'm really looking forward to seeing you again after this. I always look forward to seeing you and getting a hug from you. Your hugs are really powerful and they make me feel very loved. You are. Thank you. I love you too.

Is there anything, any last words you want to share in regards to healing women, heals Mother Earth, and really having this podcast series be centered around our health and wellness? I think really we just, we need, we as women need to remember who we are and where our strengths are, identifying our weaknesses and getting over those barriers. It's challenging within ourselves.

through that process many times because again you go back to the trauma days of your upbringings and being able to talk loudly about it where before you couldn't because it was a little family secret.

through that process and acknowledging it. Yeah, because it might hurt a family member that you're recognizing, but it's something that we have to forgive in our own way, but also recognize to the facts of it. We're able to bring it out to the forefront now, like with the board in schools and with the Indian Child Welfare movements on...

being not only harassed or bullied but also the endurance of families that had the sexual abuse that has taken place and being able to work through that within themselves. Being able to have somebody that they can talk to

to take that darkness away but also to have those conversations and not have to worry about having it buried so deep anymore because it's a thing that is able to be awakened to be able to release it in its own manner.

Being able to be around others, I mean, I'm really proud of you for who you are and watching you grow just as much through that process and the challenges that you have taken and being very open about it. But our stories themselves that are shared with others that have locked themselves in

They'll think about that and they'll be able to one day be able to open up in that manner. They may not be able to do it today or tomorrow or next week, but when they hear our stories and we're open and honest within ourselves to be able to share that.

then they'll think about it as well. They might come over when we're done talking and give us a call or say, hey, can I call you or something? And we're available for that call because we just don't know. Not be afraid about it anymore. I mean, that's the hard part is that you have those little barriers that you're afraid about exposing it because you don't want...

that to get out within your community or you don't want to be teased about it or you don't want to be bullied about it in different aspects, but we should be able to feel that it's okay to talk about it now. And then where do we feel that comfort zone and who do we feel that comfort zone with? Because we want to make sure we're taken care of because we need to take care of the next generations. That one. Thank you for that. I feel like that's a perfect way to end this episode.

Thank you again for your time, Francis. I love you so much. Yeah, me too. I thank you for everything. Thanks for listening to me too. Of course. We're in this together. Yes.