You Can('t) Keep Plants Alive
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If you're new here, I'm Lauren. I'm the host and the producer of this pod. I've been doing this for a few years now. Started for a whole host of reasons, but mostly because I realized that I just had a lot of things holding me back, man. I had a lot of things holding me back.

And I couldn't quite figure out who I was and why I was being held back from living the life I wanted to live. So alas, here we are, 170 something episodes in, talking about limiting beliefs in each episode. So this week, I'm chatting with Cheyenne Johnson, and I really, really love this topic.

So we're both plant mamas, but Cheyenne realized how many similarities there are between plants and relationships. So whether it's your friendships, your family, your romantic relationships, how you pour into the people around you is kind of similar to how we pour into our plants. I love it, y'all. I just love it.

So in this episode, you'll hear everything from speaking life into the things that you love, being grounded and fully rooted in your values. We talk a lot about roots, actually, looking at the root of problems, loneliness versus peace, outgrowing your environment and having to like repot yourself. We get into a lot of good little metaphorical things in this, y'all. So I'm sure you'll get a nugget from it.

And I know a lot of us sometimes have a hard time keeping our plants alive. And you might struggle in your relationships to keep those going well, too. But this episode will be a reminder that you can figure it out. So let's do it. This is Cheyenne. And this is why she chose the limiting belief that you can't keep plants alive. I would say I chose that topic because...

I'm a recently new plant mom. And I, within the past two years, I've learned I can compare the two. I can compare the two when it comes to being a plant mom. And I can compare when it comes to all of my relationships in my life. It can be a relationship, a romantic one, a platonic one, family. I've noticed the same in the two. Yeah. And so when I think about that, I'm like, hmm.

they go hand in hand and both of them you have to care for both of them you have to deal with both of them you have to speak life into because if you don't it'll die and i know because i've killed plenty your child i'm right there with you like right there and so i think that's why because i i'm i have a new fresh set of eyes when it comes to being a plant mom because i don't

Before, about two years ago, I didn't know nothing. I had no idea. I was like, I don't even know how often to water a plant, how often to keep it. Does it need direct sunlight? Does it need indirect sunlight? Oh, well, how often do I change the soil? Like, I never knew that. And I think talking to people,

My son's godmom, she was very, she's really like, when I say her thumb is green, like it's a dark green. It's her hand. Her hand is green. And talking to her and just hearing how she speaks about plants. And then I was like, I want that. And I don't think that someone has to have a green thumb to know how to keep a plant alive. And that's what I think people miss out on. They're like, oh, I can't. They always say, I can't do that.

I can't have plants in my house. They say that, but it's like, I said that. And I think when I shifted my thoughts and I shifted my words, it was, oh no, I can't keep plants alive. And I'm doing pretty doggone well about it.

See, I'm curious about because I'm with you. Like I had a really hard time keeping my plants alive initially. I never had like a ton of plants or whatever. I'm trying to shift into it. But you said you were talking to a woman and you wanted to be able to talk about plants in the same way that she did. What was she saying? How was she talking about it? Because we used to be bad. Like when I say she talks about plants like they are her children, like she speaks so much life into them.

And I saw the shifting how I speak to my plants now, but she, it's the life that she speaks into them. Like she talks to them in the morning. She'll say, good morning, baby. Are y'all doing okay? Do y'all need anything from me? And it's like, I look at that and see,

how she talked to her plants. And I know that's how God talks to me. He talks to me, you're precious. I love you. Why are you doing this to change? Why are you doing this? I love you like you are. I need you to love yourself. And I think when it, when she would talk to them plants, it's like, girl, talk to me like that. Yeah. For me. But,

It's just life. I don't know. I just heard talking life into it. For me, I'm just, and I think especially it speaks to me, my childhood self, because I didn't get a lot of life talks into me as a child. Then now it's like, I have to do the talking. I have to speak life into plants. It's like, I'm speaking from a place of brokenness.

But it's like, no, you're not broken. You're healed, girl. You're healed. I need you to speak life as well. Just because something, just because things happened to you as childhood and in the past, that doesn't give it right that you speak deaf or you speak ill against your plants or your children or your family or relationships or friendships. No, you speak life into that because when you speak

Things happen. Things change. Amen. That too. And so, yeah, like I wanted to just based on that, I wanted to go into like the different areas of, you know, your relationships and how things may have shifted over time and how you like speak to those things or like, you know, relate to those different areas of life. While you were talking, though, it made me think about, you know, I went to romantic relationships. That was...

One of the first ones, because I feel like sometimes with our partner, well, at least for me, I'm gonna speak for myself. When I've been in romantic relationships, for some reason, I haven't always spoken to them in like,

that loving way that you were just saying that that lady was doing like, good morning, babies. How you doing? Or if I had like a cute puppy or if it's like a cute little, you know, baby or something, the way that we love and pour into those things. But for some reason, when it's a grown adult, I'd have a hard time like showing love. So I'm curious about like maybe your romantic relationships first. Okay. So,

Backstory. I haven't had a romantic relationship since 2019. Got it. So it's been a while. Best believe it's been a minute. Have I had a few men here and there who I have spoken to? Yes, absolutely. But I think for me, it was...

I had to shift how I see them. Okay. I had this thought that they were supposed to be the caretaker and they're supposed to do this and this because this is what society shows us. Of course. But I had to learn that

They need to be shaped into what I don't want to say what you want them to be, but they have to be shaped and saying that if you always speak down on them, if you always if you don't confirm them, reassure them, if you don't do that.

then they're not going to live the life that you kind of want from them, if that makes sense. Yeah. And so I have to... And the same goes for men to speak a life into their women because you have to think. Yeah. For me, I was very insecure, very insecure just about myself, just insecure.

And I had this one guy who I spoke to and he just spoke so much life into me, so much beauty into me that it reaffirmed me in a sense. That was like, huh, you know, I am the baddest chick on earth. It's like not saying that I needed him for that, but it,

That reassurance, that reaffirming. But I think in the time that I haven't been with a man, I see that I'm not getting reassurance and getting reaffirmed from people, but I'm getting reaffirmed from God. Amen. Yeah. And so that's a different type of affirmation. That's different because now it's like, what can a man say? What can a mere human say that my father hasn't already said about me?

And that gives me a different look. Yeah, I think there's that. But then there's also like we have to pour into ourselves, too. And like we have a lot of negative self-talk. This whole podcast is about, you know, the negative conversations that we have with ourselves, you know, and like reframing them at the end of the episode. But we have a lot of negative self-talk, too. And so it's like, how are you pouring into yourself? I heard somebody say that we're just complicated plants, humanely.

humans are just complicated plants. Like we need to go outside and have our sunlight. We need, you know, to be watered. Do you know how bad I am at watering myself? As in like drinking water? Oh, well, that's not, I love that. I can't say that. I am awful. I never water myself. So when I water my plants, I'm like, why am I treating you better than I'm treating me? That's a word in itself. Yeah. That is a word in itself. But that's like the saying, you can't,

You can't pour out of a cup half empty. You can't, no matter how much you want to. And I had to relearn.

how to not pour and I'm not full because I would always pour, pour, pour. And then I'm back at home sluggish. You know how hard that is? Oh, it's so hard not to pour even if you're not full. If you're the pouring type, sometimes you just won't pour, but you ain't got nothing left to pour, friend. That's me. I stay pouring, pouring from my family, from my friends, from my

my child, I stay pouring and I'm like, okay. And I understand. And I understand this is a marathon. It's not a race. It's not, you're not going to be done next week. Like I understand that. But I think for me, it's very difficult because I'm always pouring. I'm always pouring into somebody somewhere, some way, shape or form. And I know, like, I know my name.

I'm called to podcast. I'm called to young. I know that, but it's like, y'all, a sis is tired. Yo, it's work. It's work. It could take a year. I did the same thing. I took a year off. I took a year off too. Yeah. And it's not to say that, but I have to make sure that I'm fully grounded. And that's where it goes into your root. You have to make sure that you are fully grounded and you,

What you believe in, God, if it's whatever you believe in, you have to make sure that you're fully grounded in that. Because when you start to grow and you start to pour and that people start cutting off, because think about it. I have a pothos plant. Pothos plants get really big, really long. And you can cut them and propagate them and give them to other people, put them in water. And I look at my plant because she's over my fireplace and I look at her. She's really long. I got her when she's like this big.

Yeah. And she's super long. She's coming back. And I named her Fern. And I know it's a play on words because she's not a fern. But that's my baby. She was my first one. And I look at her and I'm like, if I didn't speak life into you and if I didn't talk to you and plant you and water you, but if I just took from you,

all the time, just kept taking and giving you to people, you would never grow. You would never grow. And so I, cause I thought about propagating her and giving her to people, but I'm like, yeah,

I don't want to see, I don't, I have to, if I try, if I decide to do that, I have to continue to speak to you. I have to continue to rub on your leaves and let you know that you're beautiful and you're my girl. I have to let you know that it's going to be okay. And I know it's cold today, but it's going to be warm tomorrow. Like I have to speak to her.

It's a lot of love. It's a lot of love that you're pouring out. Yeah. I have a pothos here in front of me, too. Neon pothos. Her name is Gracie. I love her. And so you were talking about like the roots. And I think the first time I repotted her, I was like, bruh, what? One, I didn't realize the roots were coming out of the bottom circles of the plastic thing, plastic pot.

And I was like, dag, I didn't realize this thing was going to grow like this. And then once I actually took it out and saw how many roots there actually were, mind blown. And then before I took all the dirt off, I was like...

You've just been confined to this space like this. Like you couldn't you couldn't grow anymore because you were confined in this space. And so that's one of the things I wanted to ask you, too, is like, have you ever felt like you were confined to a particular space and you needed to be repotted yourself, like placed in another environment so that you could grow? Mm hmm.

Living at my parents' house. I was living at my parents' house, mind you. My parents, they were never like, you have to leave. My parents are never like that. I would never say anything of that nature. But they were, I was like, I got to a month. I need to go. I am out living this room. I got to go. And I remember it was very difficult. And think, oh, it's so good. Think about roots. When you're cleaning, could you have to purge your roots, basically?

get the dead ones away. And if they're dead, they'll fall right off, depending on how long they've been in that confined space, right? And thinking about that with my dad and my sister, they had a hard time letting me go.

they had a hard time letting me move out because they were like, and now they're always, hey, come back. Hey, come hang out. Hey, spend the night. Hey, this, hey, that. And I'm like, I have to know, not saying that the environment is bad because I love my family. The environment is never bad, but I have to know you have to grow. So you got to go. You got, you have to grow. So you got, you got to go. And so I think in that it's just,

I think that would have to be my one example as to where I had to change my environment. And obviously friends, I'm always having to change friends because you outgrow them just like a pot. You outgrow the pot. Your plant will grow so much that you have to be like, I got to get a bigger pot. And then I think I love that. And it's so funny because one of my girlfriends, just thinking of her in this conversation, she was my bigger pot.

So I was this and then she came into my life and it's like I planted into her. And now she's this big pot that I have to grow into. And then once I outgrow her, not saying that I want to, but if God says, hey, it's time to go on. If I outgrow her, he's going to put me in another pot. He's going to continue because he knows that sometimes you need a person, a spouse, a child to help you grow to the next. Yep.

You know what it makes me think about too? So I repotted Gracie. She did all right. I got another plant to my left. Her name is Lelai. She's a lemon-lime Dracaena. And I repotted her recently, and I was so stressed out. Because sometimes the effects of when you get repotted, you know how they go into shock? And so like the leaves started to turn brown so quickly. I

all at the bottom, but I didn't realize this was a part of it, that they will just go into shock.

like once they're in this new environment. So curious on your thoughts on that, like when you're switching into new environments, how that can feel sometimes, even though they might be better for you and you might grow in them, like it could be scary. Oh, scary, lonely. I think lonely is a big one, especially like for me moving from my parents, from my own, it was scary. It was very lonely. And I think I, I, I,

I would always say, it's lonely here. I would say that all the time because my son would be at school eight hours a day. And I'm like, it's lonely here. And it was one day I was praying and God was like, it's not loneliness. This is what peace looks like. And I say, you know what? You're absolutely right. I'm not lonely. I'm good. And so moving into a new environment that you don't know, that is dark because you don't know what's on the other side because you haven't been there because we're the light.

You haven't been there yet, so you can't see anything. And going to that side is like, I don't know if it's going to work. And at times when we have those thoughts, we tend to act out.

That's what our plants do. They will get to a new environment and act out. Act out. Child, I was stressed. I took her to what I called the doctor. I felt like I had a whole child. I put her in a little bag, went to... And I felt like I had a doctor's appointment. I went to plant house with her. I was like, look, all these things keep falling off. Please save her life. I was stressed. Oh my goodness.

But they were like, oh, no, it looks great. This is how it works. Like these pieces have to fall off so that the other pieces can grow bigger and stronger so they can actually get the nutrients from the soil. They were like, that's how it works. The pieces that you no longer need will fall off so that you can grow even bigger. And I'm like, OK. And then, of course, when I got her back here, she stopped dying completely. Like nothing else was falling off after the one day that I went. So.

Yo, so my OG listeners know that I like to jump in the middle of episodes to just share a few things that I got when I listen back to it before sending it to edit. This idea of repotting, because every time repotting happens for me, it's such an experience. You have to like take this big plant out of the soil, find a whole new size pot, and then

like make sure that you have the right soil, clean all the roots off, like move it into this new environment. The plant goes into shock. It's just a whole ordeal, at least for me. Next time I'm literally just taking it to plant house and going to let them do it for me. But personally, I feel like I am in a time in my life where I am about to be repotted. Like I feel like I have outgrown the space that I am in

And it's time for me to enter into some new environments. And honestly, it's a little bit scary thinking about that. But the only way to grow is to allow yourself to be repotted. Like you can't stay in that small, confined space that no longer suits you.

Your roots will start coming out of the bottom of the thing. Like leaves will start to die. It's not good for you to just stay in comfort. Ciao. Let me tell you, I'd be trying to stay in my comfort zone and never leave. I honestly think that when people say like you need to get out of your comfort zone, I think that statement is overrated. Like we deserve comfort.

But I think there comes a time where you just outgrow where you are. And so if you resonate with that and that imperfect part of yourself has been wanting to stay in comfort and never leave, allow that phenomenal part of yourself to continue to flourish by allowing yourself to be repotted, allowing yourself to go into a new environment. I know it's scary, but like we said, you are phenomenal. You're a phenomenal woman and you're capable of doing new things.

It's time to grow. Let's get back into the episode. See, but that right there, sometimes I say my plants can be very dramatic. I have a pink lady downstairs in my room. Her stem is pink. She has a little pink in her leaves. I don't know her

her correct name because I call her Pink Lady. She's a beauty. That's a good name too. And I remember getting her. She was in my plant room at first. But she was not thriving in there. She was not, I don't know what was going on. I called the person who gave her to me and I was like, I don't know what's happening to her. She's leaning to the side. I don't like this. Post.

And she was like, where is she at? I was like, she's in the plant room and I don't have any blinds. It's just the window. So it's a lot of sunlight. She was not having it. I moved her, took her down, watered her real good, put her in my room. She's been thriving ever since. What do you think it was? I don't even know. I want to say it was

It could be the other plant that was in there with her. She was like, I don't like them. So I'm going to be dramatic until you move me. She's an introvert. Yeah. So she's in there by herself just relaxing. Like, is she the boss of the house? And I'm just, but I've noticed that with a lot of my plants. Like, I don't know if it's that wrong.

And they feel like I'm confined. Nobody can see me because they don't thrive in there. They don't thrive in that. And mind you, the room isn't enclosed like it's a closet. Yeah. But it's in my guest bedroom and they just don't thrive. So I have one on my kitchen table, one on my one in my room, one in my bathroom, one on my counter, one on my fireplace. How many plants you got?

I remember you told me some wild number. I think I have like eight or nine right now. That's not too bad. It's not bad. No, it's not too bad. But I want to get more. And I realized I can't buy plants for myself. What do you mean? They have to be gifted to me because I bought two plants. I bought a succulent and a snake plant. No.

Not a snake plant. It just goes up. It goes up, but they're like really firm. I want to call them snake plants, but I don't think they're snake plants. Yeah, they give snake plant vibes wherever they are. Exactly. And I bought them. I bought them at an event one day. So my succulents, you know, succulents are very easy to take care of. Very easy. Died.

I don't know what happened. And I was like, that's wild when a succulent dies. Exactly. This wasn't the beginning. Like I've had my fern for at least a year going on. Yeah. Yeah. I think it was like a year and six months when I got my succulent died. I was in my bathroom. My snake plant was in my bathroom.

And I, it was good. I didn't water it all the time because I was told it didn't need to be watered all the time. I walked past it and a leaf just fell. It just fell. I was like, oh, I'm not supposed to have you. Okay. So I took, I remember I took him over to

My plant doctor. That's what I'm going to call her. My plant doctor. She was like, let me look into it. I sent her a picture first. She was like, bring them to me. Brought them to her. And I think a week went by. She called me. She was like, you can't. I can't give this back to you. It's done. It's dead. And she was like, she took it apart. She pruned it. Everything. Looked at the root. The root was so rotten. And I was like...

And so now that just makes me think when you think of your relationships, you think of your friendships, your family, the whole, everybody, because really nobody's safe. But when you look at them, you can't just look at the outside. Yeah. You got to get to the root. You got to get to the root. And I saw this, I saw this, this young man, he made a comment. He was like, look at the detail. Everything that you need to know is in the details. And I was like, hmm.

I have a hard time looking at details, sir. Same, same. I was just telling that to somebody yesterday. Yes. Yep. And so that right there, let me know. You have to look at the root. You got to look at the roots because you don't know what is going on with that person because they can show you one thing. Oh, I'm good. I'm fabulous. There's nothing wrong. But when you go and look at the root,

That's when you see the truth. That's when you see what's really going on. That's when you notice the problems. So that's why I'm always asking questions. I'm always asking questions. Even with my plants, I'll be like, how y'all doing today? And I just look at them. And then if I'll see one leaf that is down, I'm like, yeah, you're not doing well. You're not doing well today. Because if you were, your leaves would be up perking because I know how you look on a day-to-day basis.

So what's going on? And then when it goes to watering them, I'm always, I don't want to say looking at the roots, but I'm looking at the roots. I was told that when it goes to watering your plant, to fill the soil, not the surface, but to dig your finger in the soil. Because if it's not moist, deeper in the soil, you need to water your plant.

Yeah, I think they say go like one at least an inch down to see. And then another thing that I got recently was aerating it. So taking to do when I went to my plant doctor, he said to take a chopstick and to like punch holes in it so that it can also get some oxygen. And I think this goes to the next part of like what?

elements and nutrients are required to keep these plants alive? And like, what ways are they similar to relationships? Like, what do we have to pour into these plants to keep it alive and keep it going? I would say for me, love speaking to your plant, always checking for their well-being, making sure that they're okay. Because the same with people

they won't talk unless you do. Accurate. And so if you don't ask the questions and you don't talk to them, they don't, they won't talk back. And so I would say to keep in my plan alive is to pay attention.

Pay attention. You can tell when the environment's not right. You can tell when the energy in the room, whatever people like to say, is not right. You can tell when they're unhappy. You can tell all of that if you just pay attention. And I think for that, you can even put that into first, paying attention before you even ask questions. Because people say actions speak louder than words, but they really do.

They truly do. And every ounce that I can think of. And I think when it comes to relationships, for me, I was always looking at the words, never the action. So then I wondered why things were always going down a rabbit hole and they were never working out for my good because I was looking at the words. I was like, oh, well, you said that. Oh, it's good.

Knowing whole time their actions are speaking something totally different. I just didn't, I didn't see it. I didn't want to see it. Didn't want to see. Yes. That part. Oh yeah. I don't never want to see. Yeah. I don't know. I don't want to pay attention to details. Knowing God is like, ma'am, I'm showing you clear as day. Yeah. Attention. So I had looked at, uh, what are the similarities between plants and relationships? AI be coming through sometimes, but AI be coming through. Yeah. So,

The first thing that came up, it said, you know how Google now has that AI overview. So it says both plants and relationships require nurturing, proper care and attention to thrive. And then it says key similarities, growth and development. It goes on to like, you know, give descriptions of all these. So I'll just do growth and development for one. Growth and development like plants that grow and mature over time. Healthy relationships also develop and evolve with consistent care and attention, which is what you were just saying, attention.

dependence on environment. Plants need the right soil and climate to flourish, while relationships need a supportive environment with mutual respect and understanding. I don't know about the plants need respect, but I guess they do. They do. They do. They're human just like we are.

Need for nourishment. So just as plants require nutrients from the soil, relationships need positive interactions, affection, and quality time. Then there's impact of neglect. If neglected, both plants and relationships can wither and decline due to lack of care. I think that part is really important too, the impact of neglect.

Because we will sometimes neglect some of our most important relationships. One of them that I'm thinking about, and not that this will wither at all over time, but just I want to spend more time with my mom. I just want to spend so much more time with that woman. And I feel like if I do pour more into her, she'll just start to feel better, you know?

You know, so I don't want to. And it's not that I'm neglecting her on purpose or anything. It's just like the nature of what our relationship has been. I wouldn't even call it neglect. It's just absent, you know. And so.

I want to just go and intentionally spend more time with her, take more care of her, like be around her more, show her more love. Just, you know, it would feel good. Pour into her. Pour into my girl. Pour into my girl. Then it says adaptability, beauty and grace.

Resilience are other reasons. So Beauty and Resilience says, just as a blooming flower can be visually appealing, a strong relationship can be beautiful and withstand challenges. It all goes back into caring for, nourishing, speaking life into, paying attention. I've seen in my life, now I'm thinking about it, I've seen successful relationships and I've seen unsuccessful relationships.

And in the unsuccessful, I can say that all of that was missing. It was missing. Even though I didn't understand, like I didn't have a deeper understanding, I could see that

They weren't getting that. That's not what they were getting at that moment. Say that list again. Say that list again. If you can remember them all off topic, because that's a good list. Oh my goodness. You get, girl. I know we could go back. Just try again. Nurturing. Would I say nurturing? Paying attention. Speaking life.

And it was one more that I had. Did you say care? Was it caring? I don't know. We're going to say that. Okay. I feel like it was care. Rewind. Press rewind, y'all. But it's a good list. Yeah. I don't know. I just feel like with those, if you can have that,

in a relationship, if it's a friendship that's not one-sided, if it's a parent-to-child relationship and it's not one-sided, because I've realized a lot of the relationships that I've seen are one-sided. I've seen a lot of successful ones, don't get me wrong, but

Nine times out of 10, it wasn't like that in the beginning. It wasn't. They had to work to that. And that makes me think when you first get a plant that's one in a new environment, right? It's not going to flourish same day or the next night.

It has to, you have to work to get it to where you want it to be. Both, both. The plant has to work and you have to work. That's why you have to speak to your plant. When I first got Fern, I remember she was in the house for maybe a month and she wasn't growing.

wasn't growing started to get yellow leaves was not growing I was like I don't know what I'm doing wrong so I I'm always texting um my plant doctor and I was sending her pictures I was like what is happening I got this plant from you why is she doing this she was like she's fine she's adjusting she's adjusting how's that that's so she's just funny she needs to adjust but faster

It's so interesting because like we get nervous when we see these things happening. But the people who are the plant doctors keep telling us like, no, it's fine. Like we keep getting worried about what we're seeing, but it's fine. But think about our doctor. Think about God and how much we worry and how much he's like, it's fine. Mm hmm.

It's fine. What are you, what is wrong with you? It's fine. And I know. This is part of the journey. This is properly set up as the journey for you, Lauren.

This is my plan for you. This is what the plan was the whole time, Lauren. You're fine. And I don't like it. I don't like it. And I think it's normal to open your mouth. And our plants are very openly dramatic. And that's why I think it's okay for me to be dramatic because plants were here before I was here. And so I think it's okay. Okay, word, word. Because I will sit there and I will pout. I will cry. I will whine. And I'll be like, I don't like this.

I don't like this. And I and he's like, yep, I'm still purging you. I'm still removing them roots. And it's funny because I was in therapy. I've been in therapy. Right. And I had a dream one night as I continue to go through therapy. I had a dream that I was digging a hole.

Right. But I was pulling out all the bad roots out of the hole and I was just throwing them out the hole. And I kept coming. I kept being in the hole and it was time for me to come out, but I wasn't ready.

I wasn't ready to see everything on the outside. And in the dream, God was like, you need to come out. You've done the purging. You've removed all the bad. And so I think about that when I think about my plants. And it's like, all right, I removed the bad environment. I removed the bad roots. I've stopped overwatering you. I don't underwater you. I water you right on time. I speak life into you.

I need you to now flourish. And in that dream, that's what I realized God was telling me. You've purged. You've done what I need you to do. Now I need you to come out because now you're going to be different than what you are when you started digging the hole in the first place. Yeah. That's beautiful.

Yeah, girl, it's a process. It's a process. It's all a process. So like in this process, what tips would you give to aspiring plant mamas? I feel like you've given so many, maybe just one more. Yeah, you've given a million. Just one, if anything else. To aspiring plant moms.

Keep going. Just because it looks like it might be dying. Keep going. Keep going. I think that's the one thing someone told me. Keep going. If you give up, if you see a plant starting to fall or die, we automatically have our first thought thrown away. Why? Who is to say it can't be revived?

And it makes me think back, Lazarus was dead. Like, be for real. Dead. He was in that tomb for, what, four days? Three days? Four days? He was dead. Like, he smelled, like, he's dead. And still he came back to life. And so I don't think no plant can fully die all the way and not come back.

So I'd say keep going. Keep going. If it's in a relationship. Well, I'm going to say a relationship. Sometimes relationships can be. Analyze the roots first. Right. Pay attention to the roots. And if the roots are good roots, they just haven't, I guess, what's the word? They just haven't became firm in their environment and what they believe in.

Give it some time. But for those ones that you've looked at the roots and you realize, oh, that's not for me, let it go. And let it go. But that's why when you go to repot a plant, you have to analyze the roots. Because the roots will tell you if it's fungus. The roots will tell you if there's something wrong with it. They're slimy. Because roots aren't supposed to be slimy. Bugs.

And so that's why when you go to repotting a plant as well, you have to look at the roots. So good. Well, so at the end of each episode, we always reframe the limiting belief to fit more within our desired reality.

And so I always give the same example every time. It was the very first episode that we did. So it was, if I'm not married by 30, that I'm a failure was the limiting belief. Can reframe that to say the timeline isn't real. I could get married at a time that's right for me. Like we got options out here, you know? So in this case, how would you reframe the limiting belief that I can't keep plants alive to fit more within your desired reality? Who said that? I don't.

I don't know. That's my thought. Love it. That's my first thought. Who said that? Who made that stigma that you can't keep plants alive? Who made that stigma that you had to have a green thumb? Who made that? Because if you stop trying to live by society, stop trying to live by culture, you can do anything you put your heart. You can do anything your heart and your mind are set to.

Any relationship that you want. Why do I say that? No, I can't say that. No, because people crazy. But I say to say, who said that you can't keep plans alive? Where did that come from? And it probably it could be from your own thoughts. Well, I've killed so many. OK, keep trying. That's why I go back to do it again. Keep going.

I'm pretty sure I'm probably going to kill a lot. I'm not even going to lie to you, but I'm not going to allow my thoughts to deter me from having plants. They give me joy, especially if I can't go outside when it's cold outside or when it's wintertime and there is no greenery. My plants give me the greenery that I need in my life. It's so important. They are so important. Like plants transform a space. It really does.

It just brings so much life into a role that you didn't know that you needed. Yes. And like I live by myself. I don't have no animals. I don't have none of that. And so like when Lila was having her moment, I was like, wow, my child needs help. I like really care about these. Yes. And then I think just thinking about it, being able to identify when something's wrong.

We're so oblivious to things. Having a plant will have you looking through a different type of lens than what you're used to. So I'll tell anybody, before you talk about getting an animal, get a plant, a plant. Even before you talk about getting a child, get a plant. Because you think children and animals need attention? A plant needs so much attention because they're a living creature just like us.

So talk to your plants today. If you have one, talk to them. I talk to them often. Yeah. Me too. I go around the house. I'll rub their leaves. How you doing? Like, hey, my girl, like Rezi, Rezi, you over here doing great, girl. Rezi is resilient. So I called her Rezi. Oh, you have to. Yeah. That's my most resilient plant. Rezi, she be out here. If I neglect her, she'd be like, I'm good.

It's wild. It's wild. She's a good one. She's strong. I want to get a Monastera plant, right? But I've heard so many people, those are hard plants. You need to be an advanced plant person. See, but we can do it. We just got to believe in ourselves. Yes. Yes.

We're missing the belief in self with the care of these plants. Like we are not incompetent. We can figure it out. It goes back to you, like asking the questions, ask the right people the right questions, because if it was alive over at the plant doctor's building, like it'd be alive in my house and they know how to do it. We just ask the questions to the people who have the answers. We don't have to have all the answers right now. Exactly. But I don't do that. Yeah.

Ask the questions and believe in yourself. Ask the questions, pay attention and keep going. It is work. That's it. Well, if people wouldn't connect with you, Cheyenne, where can they find you? Oh, goodness. Oh my God, I deleted everything. No, I'm joking. I'm on Instagram at underscore socially shy. So that's S-O-C-I-A-L-L-Y-S-H-Y underscore shy.

My podcast as well, Socially Shy by Cheyenne Johnson. Yeah, it's on Apple Podcasts and Spotify. Word. And y'all know where you can find me. I am at lauren.e.will on Insta. I have the podcast page too at ipwomenpodcast.com.

Feel free to hit me up, slide into the DMs. I love chatting with folks. And we will chat with y'all next week, listeners. Cheyenne, was there anything else you wanted to add before we go? No, this was awesome. I loved it. Thank you for having me. Of course, of course. All right, listeners. Well, we'll talk again next week. Farewell.

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