734. Homemaking + Feminine Leadership: Why Women Are Returning To Their Roots
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Welcome to the Almost 30 Podcast. I'm Lindsay. And I'm Krista. And we're your hosts, guides, and friends on this path. Almost 30 is not about your age. It's about the feeling. All of us are almost something, seeking community and resources to support the rumblings of transformation within us. Our conversations are deep dives, shepherded by our insatiable curiosity and desire for connection, enduring inspiration, and a sense of levity that we can all benefit from.

We're looking to find the magic in the human experience. Buckle up, baby. Your evolution is waiting.

Hello and welcome to the Almost 30 Podcast. How are you? I'm so glad you're here. It's Lindsay and I am one half of the Almost 30 Pod. My best friend, Kristen, and I started this podcast over eight years ago and Lord, it's been such a beautiful ride. So I'm glad you're here, whether you're an OG listener or maybe you just found us. Perfect timing. I did want to mention before we get into this solo episode that our book that

That is right. We wrote a book. I can't believe it is available for pre-order right now. Uh, the link is in this description as well as on our Instagram at almost 30 podcasts on Instagram. Um, why is it important that you pre-order this book? I will tell you briefly.

It is so important. And to be honest, this whole book publishing world is kind of hilarious at times. I'm grateful for it, but it's hilarious. Pre-orders really matter. It tells retailers across the country that this book...

is in demand. And to be honest, Krista and I just want this book to be available to anyone and everyone who is moving through life transitions. We were inspired to write this because we were going through it in our late twenties, heading into 30. So this book is called Almost 30, A Definitive Guide to a Life You Love for the Next Decade and Beyond. So if you pre-order now, ooh,

you're going to get some goodies. So we have incentives for you, uh, upcoming that are really, really exciting for you to partake in and to receive. Uh, but you can order it now at the link in the show notes in our Instagram bio. And I appreciate you doing that. Okay. Let's get into this solo. I wanted to talk about,

I was laughing with Johan who is helping to, uh, helping to produce this podcast episode today. I was like, just a light topic, feminine leadership in the home. Sounds interesting. Um, I wanted to talk about feminine leadership in the home. Um, it is something that I feel like I have, um, finally come into embodying and owning as a woman, as a wife, as a mother. And, um,

I really want to reframe for myself and for all of you out there, what that looks like and what that can feel like and why it's so important. I kind of came up in my twenties in the girl boss era, you know, doing the most outside of the home. Perfect, fine, amazing, commendable. Um, and it's produced, you know, a lot of success and I know a lot of success for a lot of you out there.

But there has been this kind of stripping of value from the role that a woman plays in the home. I think she's always been valuable in the home, but the value that we put on it, I think has just dissolved a bit. And I want to bring it back. That doesn't mean that you cannot work outside of the home. That just means that I want you to know that

You have very magical, almost supernatural gifts that you can bring to the dynamics within your home. And that could be with your nuclear family that you grew up with. That could be with your new family. If you have a partner and if you have children, whatever home looks like for you, it could be very unique to you.

You have gifts that you can absolutely bring to this space to weave very healthy growth and dynamics and ways of life that I think will surprise you. And it's pretty simple overall. So are you all ready? Let's do this. So when I talk about feminine leadership in the home,

I'm not talking about like, okay, she who makes the rules and enforces the rules. I am talking about the gifts like intuition and empathy and creativity and the ability to nurture that. I think women especially have this innate gift of sharing.

and embodying. So for me, that has really been about intuitively leading my family. So when I get intuitive hits, when I feel very strongly about something, when I have a vision for something, that strong feeling might have to do with a medical decision for my son. That might have to do with where we should live, which is a decision that my husband and I are kind of noodling on. And I have a...

a pretty strong feeling about what our next move should be. And I really had to step into the leadership of in this moment, I am the one that is supposed to lead on the where we should go and how it should feel.

And my husband in this dynamic can lead on the logistics of how this happens. And both, mind you, and this is a big message I want to get across, um,

both contributions are incredibly important, not only for the family unit, the dynamic of, you know, the system of people within the home, but also really important for the growth of the other person, you know? And I, I think when I lead with my intuition and I trust it,

My husband also trusts it. If I'm looking over my shoulder and kind of doubting myself and hoping that he, you know, validates me, he, he's a little suspect, but when I am fully embodied and owning my feelings, uh, and intuitive hits, he's like, dang, okay, let me, let me follow you. And I think it's really activated some of his intuition, intuition as a man as well. So, um,

Needless to say, I feel like these more, uh, intangible gifts are equally as powerful. Um, I want to talk about just the key elements, uh, a little bit more. So this idea of intuition and awareness that we have as women, um, can be felt, uh, on the micro and macro level.

So on a day to day, week to week, month by month, year to year basis. And it's really important that we allow ourselves the space and time to actually listen. Our lives can get really busy. Hi, I know I'm overscheduled at times too, but if we don't

allow ourselves to actually hear the voice that's trying to, uh, communicate with us, that inner voice, that inner knowing that soul speak. Um, we're not going to, we're not going to be able to act on those feelings and decisions. So, um,

Take that time. You deserve it. It could be five minutes in the shower. It could be just silence on a car ride and you're able to really feel into those feelings. And I think it's especially important as a mother. If you are a mom out there or you have hope of becoming a mother, your intuition will start to speak louder and louder and you won't be able to ignore it.

And it's a little overwhelming at first, but our children are demanding the souls of our children are demanding that we listen to our intuition. So I really stepped into this feminine leadership in the home, like full force since becoming a mother, you know, I feel like kind of that fierce mama bear energy, um,

And I know that my ability to trust it will benefit my child. Not only will they be able to trust their own intuition, but they will also feel the strength and safety that my own trust and my intuition provides. And that is enough for me.

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or you can share it with a friend. Get yours at drinkelement.com slash almost 30. This deal is only available through this link. So you must go to d-r-i-n-k-l-m-n-t.com slash almost 30. Another gift that I feel like the feminine offers in the home is

empathy, you know, and really setting the tone in how we treat each other, how we tune into one another and how we listen to one another. Um, my approach, I think just naturally as a person, I've always been very empathetic. Sometimes, you know, it can be quite a lot to handle at times, but, um, I think it has served me in the home. And so I am

picking up on the emotional health of the people around me at all times. And what I do is I will lead on, you know, checking in. So that could be tuning into my son who's 14 months. It's, you know, he doesn't know how to regulate his emotions, but I am leading on how to meet my son in those like

elevated emotional states that he's inevitably going to have because he doesn't know how to regulate his emotions. Um, my husband, on the other hand, I think, uh, though he is insanely emotional and intelligent, uh, emotionally intelligent, um, sometimes it's like, Oh, you know, why are you crying? You know? And I have to lead on how we approach those moments where, um,

It is a totally natural thing for him to melt down on the ground sometimes because maybe he's feeling something big and he just needs to move through it, move a little energy, doesn't know how to regulate. So I'll just hold him, not need to fix anything. And in actually doing that, my husband observes this.

And without me telling him what to do, he's then able to observe that, oh, okay, that seemed to have worked or that seemed to have calmed him down. Okay, like I can try that. I can put that in my toolbox. So really leading by example when it comes to empathy and being in tune emotionally and just having that emotional intelligence. I think another gift that the feminine has is adaptability and fluidity, right?

I think quickly as a family unit, you can get into schedules and structure and rules and to-dos. And I think that serves a purpose, absolutely, with children especially. I think children love patterns and they love predictability. That is a form of safety, I think, for kids. And I think it is also a form of safety to allow for plutonium

fluidity. Things change, things happen. And so how do we move from what we thought was going to happen to what is now happening in a way that is regulated, in a way that is as calm and in our bodies as possible. And so when I find myself in those moments, I do my best to model that

for my husband, for my son, and just really setting the tone when it comes to how we navigate change and how we navigate kind of unexpected circumstances. I think my husband is really good at this as well. He is incredibly calm. I think he's taught me actually a bit about this, but I try to really lead on this as much as I can.

There's also, you know,

you know, I think if we zoom out a little bit, there's the micro moments in the day, but then there are like big life transitions that happen. You know, perhaps you move to a new house. Maybe, um, someone in the family is, is going through a health crisis. Um, maybe there are, uh, behavioral or emotional, um, issues that are coming up within someone in the family and it's affecting everyone. How do we move through that with grace, with, um,

um, a lot of love and just understanding, um, and adaptability. And so while I'm not going through that in this moment, um,

I know I will in the future, especially with like big moves and, you know, say we have another child and how that will just change the dynamic. Um, I'm thinking about how can I really model, um, adaptability. And I think this brings me to another point. Uh, how do I model that without being obsessed with how perfect it is? Right. I think, um,

Me personally, so I'll speak for myself. I have perfectionist tendencies. Raise your hand if you do too. And so when I'm modeling these things, I sometimes get caught up in it being perfect and what if it's not and what does that say? Yeah.

That's not the point. I think femininity has like a quality of imperfection. That's actually just so beautiful and captivating. So beautiful and captivating. I don't know if you've ever been around someone who's so embodied in an imperfect way. And I don't even know what that means. Cause it's like so subjective, but, um,

where they own their flaws or they're just so themselves. And I think that speaks to just, yeah, this, this, this not labeling of the imperfect as imperfect. It's, it's just the allowing of what is and embracing what is. And I think the feminine does that so well. So, um, how do we release that

perfect need for perfection? How do we release the need for control? Um, and really adopt like more of a, like a, a collaborative approach to things, you know? So maybe I'm, I'm not so good at, uh,

organizing the home and maybe my husband rocks at it. And maybe that's something that I need to call him in for. And so I think the feminine realizes like, yeah, that's not really my steez. And I can bring in someone, whether it's within the family or outside the family to like really collaborate on this with, how can I bring in a village, which I think the feminine does a beautiful job of creating when she allows herself to, um,

How do we just collaborate to create an environment that is supportive for everyone there? How do we...

uplift members of the family, uplift their uniqueness, um, and not focus on the imperfections and making them fixing them. And that's not the feminine. The feminine is really, um, the uplifting of, of the gifts and the light within each person in the group. Um, and

And I think this really empowers kids. This is how we empower our partners to be better partners. So just to summarize that piece, because I know it was a little bit verbose, but collaboration over control, embracing imperfection over needing everything to be perfect, because that's what's really beautiful, I think, about the feminine.

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So those are, those are the main gifts. And what I want to wrap on, uh, is really, um,

the challenges that have come up for me. And I think, you know, a lot of you out there will relate. I think the feminine in the home has gotten a bad rap. It's like, Oh, you've sacrificed everything to be a wife or a mom, or, you know, maybe there is this idea that everything should be 50, 50 within the home between each partner. And, um, my personal take on that is that

It can't be 50-50 at all. And I believe that the feminine really leads on allowing what I mentioned before, which is the fluidity of. So for example, I might be in a season where, or maybe it's a week where I'm at like 30%. And this is where I can really contribute and show up. But otherwise, like I am...

yeah, I'm really depleted in other areas. And my husband will have to step up and, and really come at us with 70% for, you know, strengthen the family or communication or structure. And I think it's really important for the feminine to lead on the communication around that. It doesn't mean that the masculine does not have to, but

I do think that we have the gift of picking up on what is unsaid and bringing it into the spoken form. Uh, so if we can set an example there, I think it's like super, super profound. Um, and I just want to speak to that, like that,

allergic reaction to the traditional within the home. Um, you know, if we're talking about a heterosexual relationship, a man and a woman, whether it's a marriage or not, but, um, I think there is kind of like this allergic reaction to a wife staying home, taking care of the kids and the father going to work and providing for the family. Um,

I don't think it's always been like that, but I think, you know, since the girl boss days and, um, a lot of different movements over the past decade or so, I just think it's been, um, just, yeah, the, the value of it has been diminished and I am not knocking any dynamic in the home, but I do just want to speak to that, uh, that taboo now. Um, because I think, um,

What's happening is that we, a lot of us women who find ourselves, whether we are working or not, quote unquote, professionally working or not, who find ourselves in the home, whether it's, you know, taking care of the home, children, pet children, et cetera.

And we, we are thinking that what we're doing doesn't have a lot of value. And we are thinking that what we're doing doesn't matter. And that, you know, yeah, we're just not getting the validation that I think we're used to when it comes to, uh, working traditionally. Um, and I just want to say, and maybe this will be kind of my closing, closing statement, the work that we do within the home to, um,

nurture a family and to lead on the energetic and spiritual growth of the people closest to us is probably the most important work that we'll ever do in our lives. And I think I'm in living it. I'm still learning that that's true. So there's not every cell in my body that believes that, but I, I am having more and more experiences and moments that

Tell me that is true. And so, yeah, this is just a message to empower women all over, no matter what your home life looks like, that you have incredible innate gifts that are meant to be brought to this very intimate, very insular environment, this precious sacred space. The impact that you're making

on the micro level in your home is actually super connected to the macro and even global level. I think we're being called back to the home in order to see major change in every system, whether it's education system, food system, health system, what happens in the home is so foundational to

And I need you to know that you are the fricking CEO in there and you have just magical, magical abilities to alchemize,

what's happening in the home and to inspire what's happening in the home and the growth in the home and the vision in the home and the health in the home and the awareness in the home and the empathy in the home, which translates to health, awareness, empathy outside of the home. So you are making an impact. Um, I hope this was helpful. I hope this was, uh,

a reminder for you. Um, if you have thoughts, questions, please DM me on Instagram at Lindsay Simsek. I appreciate you. Thank you so much for always talking to me there. Um, I'm super inspired by what you all are interested in and the questions that you're asking. So keep them coming. Thank you for supporting almost 30. It means the world go to almost 30.com to learn more almost 30 podcasts on Instagram and Tik TOK.

And I think that's it. Okay, have a beautiful day. We will see you on the next episode. Bye, y'all.