176. Lessons Learned: 31 Things I Wish I Knew Before 31
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You're listening to the Professional Goddess Podcast, a place for sluts who like to make money. I'm your host, Anna D., aka The Professional Goddess. On my show, we embrace the uncensored stories of being a self-made sludgepreneur. As a stripper turned CEO, I reveal all my juicy trade secrets and share interviews with other female bosses who capitalize on their entire existence.

from breaking stigmas in the female business world to challenging norms in the adult industry. We'll tackle it all in six inch stilettos, of course. Now it's time to dive deep into the journey of self-empowerment, owning our sexuality. And by each episode, we will earn our PhDs in CE poetry. I'm honored to have you here and it's my privilege to kickstart the show.

Guess who is a 31 year old lady? This girl. This slut. I just got home from New Orleans. And full disclosure, I did have some drinks with the girlies. It actually was a birthday slash bachelorette party. My real ones. You get the tea.

I haven't really talked about it on Instagram because my biggest thing I've learned through the last decade is to keep your personal life private.

But a lot of you noticed that I was wearing white the entire time. So I figured me and the girls would celebrate both. And I said, you know what? I want to look back on my life and I don't want to be stressed out about trying to stay sober. I want to live a little. I want to be bad and I'm going to do it. It's probably the Scorpio energy. But if you...

have waxed and waned with your sobriety journey, something I learned this year is to focus on the amount of days I have stayed sober and not to obsess over the streak. Now that doesn't give anyone permission to just get up and quit all the hard work you've been up to. I just have to be fully honest with y'all because who am I to sit here and act like I'm perfect if I'm

I'm going out and not being perfect. I could have done the trip sober and have had just as much of a good time. It did increase my anxiety.

When I woke up, I felt like I needed to have a drink immediately, which is just crazy. But each day of the trip, I had between, I'd say, three and five total because we would be out and about in the French Quarter, you know, taking a shot or two. And then someone at the bar wants to buy you a shot. You know how it is. But New Orleans is so much fun for birthday festivities. And I just love the culture there. I love the...

the architecture. I love the stories, the people. It was so much fun. And check out my Instagram if you want to see some of those pictures, but I'm in full detox mode now that I'm home. And, uh, yeah, so that's that. I also, oh my God, you guys, oh my Rolex. I got a Rolex in new Orleans, a vintage one. It's from 1994.

five, I think. And a lady named Marilyn owned it. And it's a funny, funny story. But my friend ended up getting a Folex, a fake Rolex, and they didn't have any more. I would have totally been happy with the fake one. But they, the guy didn't have the key to unlock the box where all the real ones were. So we ended up having to wait. It made us late for dinner. And

But long story short, I offered him like 3000 under asking and we met right in the middle. So I got a good deal for it. Older Rolexes had more gold in them. So half of its weight is pure gold and I am an investor.

I feel like gold is quite an investment for me. So I didn't just throw money down the drain. It will uphold its value. And it was fun. We looked up Marilyn's obituary online and read about all her sisters who grew up on a farm with her.

And then I came home and I saw my vision board when I went to my office and I was like, hot diggity dog. I had put a Rolex on my vision board in January of 2024. Totally forgot about it. But I'm telling you guys, telling you girlies, the vision boards work clearly.

but also I will be hustling my motherfucking ass off these last two months because I'm gonna I'm gonna cover it I have set my goal and I thought as I left the shop wow there's nothing more motivating than dumping a shit ton of money on something money you don't have and then being motivated to work your ass off so your girl's got some goals that she's going to be reaching and

with some of the influence programs I'm on currently, the commissions are a lot higher around Black Friday. So I'm looking forward to that. So yeah, I wanted to do an episode, you know, it's my birthday week. So I figured we would dive into a list of 31 things I wish I'd known before 31. We did this last year, the 30 under 30 episode.

And the lessons have stayed true to themselves. But I feel like they're just things that would have say if I had known them, I would have saved so much more time and energy.

So whether you're younger, whether we're the same age, whether you are aging like fine wine or just curious, I hope some of these insights bring you value and maybe even spark a little aha moment. And before we get into that, I just, I think one of these roles or one of these things I feel should be go on fucking vacation.

And if you're like, oh, I can't afford a vacation, go on a road trip. If all it costs is the gas to go sightsee somewhere, just do it. Get out your house. Get your girlfriends together or family, whoever makes you feel good, and do it. Life is too fucking short. And I've been doing this ever since my grandma died. I think it was last year because she said you should always have a trip planned. The excitement for the trip is...

that constant excitement is so good for your soul. And it's true. It's true. And I usually...

You know, I've been disappointed on a lot of my birthdays throughout the years. And the last few, I've really made it a point and almost like a tradition to go on a trip or do something during my birthday so that the memory is so special and beautiful. And especially with the girls, like they're always ready to dress up. They'll always get good pictures of you. It's like a promised amazing birthday. And of course, when I got home,

I just cried. I was so, it was such a high, you know, and then you come home and like you get back to life and, you know, been going through some family drama. That's been a lot of tension. So, you know, balance, but take the trip, take the fucking trip.

So let's get into it. Number one, life isn't a race. It's easy to feel behind when you see others hitting milestones, but remember there's no right timeline. And you know, what's worse you guys is when you get to the goal of your timeline, it's like no longer fun anymore. All, all of it. It's so fleeting that moment. So just enjoy the fucking ride.

There is so much to be known about being present. I know it's easier said than done, but I'm telling you, I've been to the top. I've been on the grass is greener side and the journey is way more enjoyable than the milestone to trust your fucking gut. If something feels wrong, it probably is trust your instincts. They're more powerful than you think.

Y'all know I've never had a business plan. The business plan is follow your intuition, okay? Your gut is like those feelings, you've got to trust them. They are, what is that quote? Gut feelings are...

your guardian angels. They truly are. Number three, perfection doesn't exist. So don't waste time chasing perfection. Aim for progress instead and don't fear mistakes. Something goes wrong, just think about the silver lining. Think about what you learned from it. The lesson is way better.

Trust me, I've had some terrible business mistakes and who those lessons, baby, they ain't ever happening again. And sometimes you just got to learn them yourself. Someone could tell you how to do it all, but going through it will really make it stick in your head. Number four, it's okay to say no. Setting boundaries doesn't make you selfish. It is an act of self-care and

Learn to love saying no. Learn to love yourself so much that no comes naturally. Five, celebrate small wins because life is full of everyday victories. So it's time to recognize them, slut. They will fuel your motivation.

Maybe you don't, aren't a big journal, journaler, but get a sticky note pack, set them by your bed and write down everything you did at the end of the day. Sometimes you have to visually see that you did a ton of shit to feel like a success before you go to bed. It really helps me. Number six, you will not please everybody.

Trying to make everyone happy is exhausting. It's impossible. Just focus on what aligns with your values and everything else will fall into place. Trust me, you would much rather everyone hate you than live your life trying to get everyone to love you. I feel like if you are stuck on people loving you, it's like a weakness to me. I feel like if you are firm in your beliefs and your ambitions, that is

is so admirable and naturally people will be jealous and envy you say, girl, green. Don't look good on you. Seven self-care is a non negotiable physical and mental health are foundational to your success. Make time to rest and recharge. Any investment in self-care is so, so, so good. It's only going to make your work even better.

Get the pop-up sauna. Get the foot massager, girl. Because you're going to go into work feeling real good. Set days on your calendar that are self-care days. And do not budge. Do not fill that day up with anything else. Balance. Eight. Let go of regret. Regret is a heavy, heavy burden. And it keeps you anchored in the past. Learn from it. Move forward. Move the fuck on. There's other shit to worry about.

think when you become more adult it's it's you start to really understand what really matters because shit hits the fan y'all know number nine be your own biggest fan truly believing in yourself isn't just nice but it's necessary put the love notes on your mirror do the mantras in the morning be your own biggest fan 10 don't be afraid to ask for help

Everyone needs help sometimes. And there's people out there that it makes them feel really good to help you. So seeking it as seek it as a sign of strength instead of weakness. You're like, wow, I respect myself enough to know that I need help instead of I'm going to hurt myself and just drown. All right. 11 through 20 is about relationships and connections. So let's go. 11.

Quality people over quantity. Oh, this is so good. I love that I got two besties y'all friendships don't need to be many. They need to be meaningful. I love tending to my small garden of friendship. It flourishes. If I were to have more than one hand, I would be running so thin for everybody. Number 12.

Family can be chosen. Blood doesn't always make someone family and real family is who's there for you. You guys, I recently reconnected with almost everyone in my family. Like almost felt too good to be true. Like I was smooth sailing with everyone and trust me, I'm easy to get along with. I'm a people pleaser, so I can, I'm gonna get along with anybody. But lately some people have been

So whatever's going on in their brain, it's just not collabing and cooperating with mine. Perhaps I have more healthy boundaries, but I've been on the side of lack of family. I've been on the side full of family. And now I'm back on the side with, wow, this is unfortunate that I have to cut some people off for my wellbeing. So I'm kind of back to, um,

Real family is who's there for you. Real family is people who don't walk over you. Real family isn't people who abuse you vibes. So it fluctuates just when you think you've got it. The tables, how they turn, but stick up and stick around for those who stick up and stick around for you. And it's okay to take away your VIP pass from people who abuse the membership. Mm hmm.

Mm-hmm. 13, healthy relationships require effort. Great connections don't just happen. They are nurtured. Checking on them, but don't check on them too much. Sometimes you're checking in on them for you. You know, you want to make sure you're checking on them because you're genuinely, you know, trying to nurture the relationship.

I used to check on people. And then when they didn't check on me, I was like, well, I check on you all the time. And I'm like, wow, I'm actually checking on you for my peace of mind, which isn't fair, but put people's birthdays in your calendar. Make sure it repeats every year. If you're like, you're not on Facebook or whatever. I feel like

I like that quality about myself is everyone's always getting a happy birthday for me. And cause I know birthdays are hard. So like, that's one thing I do to nurture a larger group of people is always remembering 14 forgiveness, freeze you holding grudges only hurts you let go for your own peace. And if you are using up all your time, holding a grudge, find a hobby, um,

Clearly, you got time to think about things that are not good for you. So go find yourself something to think about that's not this grudge you're holding on. The busier, more worn out you are, trust me, if you were doing hot yoga every day, you would not be holding on to this grudge. 15. Communication is key. Clear, open communication, baby. The foundation of every strong relationship.

Boy, oh boy, people don't know how to talk these days. That's why I like voice memos, especially when things feel a little spicy. Just hop on the little voice memo if you aren't brave enough to do a phone call, you know. But I feel like too many relationships are lost over not knowing the tone of how things are said. Let me tell you about my experience with Shopify. Shopify.

Before I made the switch, my business operations were really scattered. I was constantly juggling different tools and it was just madness trying to manage everything. It was so time consuming. But since I started using Shopify, it's been a complete game changer. I manage multiple businesses and what I love most about Shopify is how streamlined it makes my entire process.

I can literally bounce between my stores on my dashboard. And from setting up my store to the powerful checkout system and all the customizations they offer, Shopify gives me everything I need to keep my business running so smoothly. It's just so easy now to focus on growing instead of focusing on managing so much. So upgrade your business and get the same checkout that I use with Shopify.

Sign up for a $1 per month trial period at shopify.com slash slutchpreneur, all lowercase. That's shopify.com slash slutchpreneur to upgrade your selling today. shopify.com slash slutrepreneur. Now back to the show.

16. Don't compare relationships because each relationship is unique. So don't measure yours against others.

And if something ends, it truly is a blessing. It truly opens a door and makes room for something more. But typically we don't see that when a door is being slammed in our face. But remember when it's slammed shut, all the other ones are wide open and you're going to be silly not to go through the other doors. If you're just going to stand there with the door shut in your face, what are you doing? Go. 17. It's okay to outgrow people. Oh my.

Sometimes people grow in different directions. It's part of life, actually. And I mean, there's somebody in my life last year, I was just like, feeling drained after I left them. I...

Felt like they were very, they would kind of make digs if something good happened to me. And I was like, I don't like this. And I really didn't have a reason to exit. It kind of just fizzled out luckily, but I wouldn't even know what to tell them if they asked me why. But brutally honest, we, I just, I outgrew them and that's okay. That is okay. Okay.

18 boundaries, strengthen relationships, boundaries, protect connections by showing respect for both sides. And I think sometimes like, I feel like this generation, since so many people go to therapy and it's so pro mental health, I feel like sometimes these words are so overused that they diminish their value. So I think, I think there's

Like there's soft ways to give boundaries. I'm trying to think of an example without spilling too much tea, but recently someone and myself had a debate that ended with myself in tears. And I thought, Hmm, I still want to love you unconditionally, but I also don't like the way I feel like this, that I feel when we communicate. So I'm just going to take a break. And I was just like, if you need me, call me.

I'm here, but I just, I need a break. This is not, it's icky.

Uh, so it can be hard to say that without feeling like you were putting a wedge between a relationship, but I feel like that uncomfortability is a signal for action that something isn't right. Something isn't fair. And I want to be around people that make me feel really good. You know, I'm such like a happy, happy, goofy, girly person.

And immediately I can tell when I'm around someone and they are snarky or complaining and I'm just like, I get in this mood. It's just, it's black and white for me. You know, I'm just, I'm the friend you get in the car with and I want to turn the music all the way up. I want our hair flying out the window. I want to be laughing so hard. I'm about to pee my pants. And if you don't make me feel that way, I'm sorry, but I know what that feels like. So I want to be around people that make me feel that way. You know?

Misery loves company. Ooh. And I've been really trying to just observe and not absorb. I think that's something I'm really working on because I be absorbing the bad vibes sometimes. So trying to not let it stick to me, trying to put this beautiful bubble around me.

19. Love yourself first. It's not selfish. It's essential. Loving yourself teaches others how to love you. Lead by example with your personal love language. 20. Stay connected to people who uplift you. Just what we were talking about. Surround yourself with those who encourage your growth.

It's crazy when that, when people around you your whole life have been like sucking you dry or wanting to steal your shine. And then like when you're, when you have a new friend that is actually like, tell me what you've been up to. Oh my God, that's amazing. What are you going to do next? And you're like, what is this? How relationships are supposed to supposed to be, but you have to tell yourself, you know, you have to remind yourself that that is what you will be doing.

putting around in your circle. You know, you are a mixture of all the people around you. They're your friends are like your medicine and choose wisely. All right. The next ones are going to be career finances and life goals. The last 10, 11,

So 21, your career doesn't define you. Jobs come and go, but your values and passions are lasting. And this has been so significant for me because I have quietly closed some opportunities and things I've been doing that I've worked years, decades on. And I used to think like it had to be a crash and burn if a job left, but you can have, it's just a transition, a level up.

You know, it doesn't have to be so dramatic. Just move on. You know, if you like, you can make things as simple as they are or as complex as you want them to be, but your body and your brain will thank you if you don't let it define you. Cause you are a spectrum of so many different things. You are capable of so much. And some people live their whole life, not knowing they're good at art, but guess what? We're all good at art. We are.

You know, it's there's you can't be good or bad at it. We've just never had enough chances and opportunities to express all of our capabilities. So it's up to you to really determine what you want to have time for.

22. Money isn't everything, but it is important. Financial stability opens up options. It gives you freedom. You don't have to live under someone's thumb. So learn how to manage your money early on. And y'all know I got tons of episodes about savings accounts, investments, IRAs.

all the things, your Roth, all of it. So just listen to the whole podcast. You'll be fine. 23 invest in experiences, not just things. Someone close to me recently survived cancer and they taught me this to a T her and I text all day about what we're selling on marketplace, what we're getting rid of, because all that stuff weighs you down. Everything you own starts to own you.

And when I'm thrift shopping, instead of seeing something as a deal that I could resell, I think of it as I'm going to have to use time in the future to list this. Do I want to take away free time in the future to resell this? And instead experience the like collect memories. Memories are what bring fulfillment before you die. That's what's going to flash in front of you, not your things.

And seriously, y'all, you can call Pinterest, type in like cheap vacations, East coast, et cetera. And I'm telling you, there are things you can do affordably and for the whole family. 24 save for the unexpected. Listen to the doomsday episode, but life is unpredictable. So build that emergency fund. It will bring you peace of mind.

And spread it out, you know, like we were talking about earlier. Gold, stocks, retirement accounts. Make sure all your eggs aren't in one baskets. And make sure you have cash. When the Asheville hurricane happened, people were using cash. Make sure you have small bills because not everyone will have change. But go to the bank, get some cash out. And they're so weird about cash sometimes, which blows my mind.

Like you don't have to tell them what it's for. My understanding. All right. Where were we? 25. Don't let fear hold you back. Fear is natural, but don't let it stop you from pursuing your dreams. I recently found a chat GPT prompt. You basically tell it all of your dreams. Be as detail oriented as you can. And then ask it to give you a five-year plan plan.

ask you ask it to tell you a day-to-day list of things you can do to work towards those goals and dreams and it is fucking phenomenal you guys the thing is with what you want to do out of your life

You're either going to be like, oh, one day, one day, this one day that or it's day one. It's now there's never gonna be a right fucking time. And I remember in my early years of success, people would just be like, oh my god, how? Oh my god. Oh my god. And I'm just like, I literally just did it. I didn't tell anyone. I didn't have a plan. It's called Google everything and do it.

You know, get your fucking ducks in a row. Quit like you don't have to play. I don't I won't say it. No, I'm gonna say don't play the victim. Don't don't say this is against you or that is against you. Go against what you feel is against you. You have to just charge through it. It's like when you're trying to get into the ocean and the waves keep crashing. Once you get through those first few waves, you'll make it.

you know, as a woman in business, like when young women, like, how many successful entrepreneurs are women between like 18 and 21, like so far few in between. And I beat a lot of odds. And I didn't take no for an answer. I had no investors. And I

I really can't explain why, but I think a lot of it just, I didn't have any fear. And as I've gotten older, I now know and understand what can or can't happen. So there are a lot of things I don't do now because of my experience. It's crazy. Like your experience can actually give you more fear. But at the beginning, when you don't know, when you're a little naive about what bad things could happen, it makes it easier to just jump into the deep end because you don't know what the sharks look like, you know?

Just fucking do it. Just stop it. Stop it with your excuses, you know? And don't, I don't know if I put this in here, but don't get in business with family. Don't mix family and money. Don't do it. Don't mix friends and money either. Don't do it. You are...

If you hire a friend, they will no longer be your friend because they will not work for you forever. Trust. All right. 26 success looks different for everyone. Define what success means to you, not what it means to society.

And I got, thank God I got through my phase of the cars, the bags. Thank God all that is gone because it's the memories that are success. It's the not having to set your alarm that is success. It is creating your own schedule and everything.

getting tons of dogs and cooking at home. Like all these things for me are success. And I hate the way people paint the picture of success. Cause you know what happens when you do get money and you do flaunt it or you do spend it. Everyone fucking hates you. When you do, um,

Like even for me, when I bought that Rolex in New Orleans, I couldn't even wear it, you know, because I knew I would just be a target. So it's just kind of fucked up. But people start to hate you because they hate people that seem happy. Even if it's not money, even if you're happy, people will hate you. So that's why as I've gotten older, I'm on my keep to myself bullshit. I know I be telling y'all my little secrets and stuff, but

If you see me in public, I got a hat on. I got a hoodie on. No one needs to know my business and I don't even know anyone else's business. I stay in my own lane because I protect my peace. 27, keep learning. Your 20s and 30s are just the beginning. So never stop investing in your knowledge and skills. You guys got to watch that new Martha Stewart documentary on Netflix, Chef's Kiss.

But that's something she always said. Learn something new every day. 28. Seek balance, not burnout. I know I got an episode about burnout. I know there's one in there. Hustling is great, but burning out is not. So make space for downtime. 29. Appreciate where you are right now. Take a good deep breath. The present moment is valuable. Don't get focused on the future that you forget to enjoy right now.

30 celebrate milestones, big or small recognize accomplishments, no matter the size, it'll build confidence. Telling you, I love my little gratitude journal. It helps every day. I just, I write down things that I'm so grateful for and I flip through it all the time and it really helps me celebrate little things. And then they feel like big things and then they are big things.

And 31 life is short at the end of the day. Life goes by fast. So embrace it, live it. And don't take no for granted. Wear the dress. If you ever find yourself in a store and you're like, I have nowhere to wear this. Remember life is short. Wear the dress. So thanks for tuning in. I hope these 31 things resonate with you wherever you are in your journey. Remember life's about learning, evolving, learning,

enjoying the fucking ride if you enjoyed this episode make sure to leave a five star review and thank you for all the birthday wishes you guys are so sweet i love you so much i will see you next week bye bye now

Thank you for listening to another episode of the Professional Goddess Podcast. If you want to keep the show going and growing, make sure to leave a five-star review. Shop my merch and e-books at professionalgoddess.com. Make sure to use code SLUT at checkout for a little surprise. My book, Slutpreneur Secrets, is now available on Amazon. Have a question, episode request, or want to be a guest on the show? Email my team via management at

professionalgoddess.com. And lastly, if you want to get all up inside me, subscribe to my premium content on OnlyFans at professionalslut.com. All these links and other socials will be in the show notes of the episode. But most importantly, thank you for subscribing to the show and I will talk to you next week. Bye sluts!

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