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My Husband Isn't Attracted to Me

2025/4/1
logo of podcast Dr. Laura Call of the Day

Dr. Laura Call of the Day

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Liz
联合主持人和内容创作者,专注于娱乐业和个人幸福的播客《Happier in Hollywood》。
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Liz: 我与丈夫结婚五年,育有两个孩子,还有一个十几岁的孩子。我们的性生活一直很少,我曾多次询问原因,但丈夫从未正面回应。最近,他酒后承认自己偏好丰满女性,这与我的身材截然相反。他还在网上寻找性满足,让我感到被忽视、恶心和愤怒。我感到婚姻中充满了仇恨,不知道该如何继续。 我与丈夫13岁时相识,之后断断续续交往,最终因怀孕而结婚。婚前我就知道我们的性生活不会很频繁,但我选择结婚是因为他性格温和,让我感到安全。如今,我感到深深的被忽视和沮丧,甚至尝试增重以迎合他的喜好,但效果不佳。我怀疑他可能是同性恋,但他的行为又与之矛盾。 Dr. Laura: 首先,我不建议你使用“仇恨”来形容你的婚姻状况。虽然你的丈夫存在一些问题,但这并不意味着你们的婚姻无法挽回。你婚前就已知晓你们性生活频率不会很高,但你仍然选择结婚,是因为他身上其他品质让你感到安全。这些品质依然存在。 我建议你们寻求性治疗师的帮助。性治疗师可以帮助你们沟通彼此的性幻想、欲望和需求,理解彼此的想法和感受,从而找到共同点,改善性生活。即使存在性癖好,也不意味着你们无法拥有和谐的性生活。 重要的是,你们有三个孩子,婚姻的破裂会对他们造成伤害。为了孩子,我建议你努力维护这段婚姻,即使这意味着未来性生活仍然不会很频繁。这并不意味着你们之间存在仇恨,而是需要通过沟通和专业帮助来解决问题。不要轻言放弃,尝试积极寻求解决方法。

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Valid for 20% off site-wide. Standard exclusions apply. Valid March 5th, 2025 through May 30th, 2025. Thanks for listening to my Call of the Day podcast. You can hear my live radio program Monday through Friday from 2 to 5 p.m. Eastern Time on Sirius XM Triumph 111. Liz, welcome to the program. Hey, Dr. Laura. Hi. Can you hear me? Yes. How can I help? Okay.

I think I am 35. I've been married for five years to my husband. We have a four and a five-year-old. I have a 15-year-old that he has been a big part of her life, my husband, that I had her young. I never married her father. But I think that

I feel like I'm in a marriage that's full of hate. And I don't know if I can continue. Can I tell you? Explain to me when the hate started. What are we talking about here? Well, he never really, we've never really had a lot of sex. And that was, I kind of settled for that because he wasn't,

He was a nice guy. He's a nice guy. He was never mean to me, you know, and I've experienced that before. And so for years I've been, I've asked him and I've asked him, you know, why won't you have sex with me? You know, it's amazing that we even have two children together. And

he never really answered me like ever i don't know what he would say he would just be like you know liz you know i'm just tired or i've never been that way so finally like a few months ago he got a little liquid courage he had a few drinks and i got it out of him and she likes fat girls he likes big women

The opposite of me, I've been mainly 120 pounds my whole adult life. So I feel just like now I feel just like severely neglected. When we do have sex now, I've tried to like embrace it. I've even drank some boost to try to get weight on me. And it's just not, I can't do it.

And I feel like he sits on a gross toilet inside of his workplace, scrolls his phone, and gets his pleasure off of girls on the internet that are his fetish. And I'm so angry about it. So disgusted by it. I'm so confused. I thought he was gay, maybe. Like, maybe that's why he didn't like me. But this is like a whole different thing.

Well, take me back. How did you meet? How did you meet? We met when we were 13 years old. He was my first boyfriend. We dated for two years, like very young. Then a couple of years later, like when I was like a senior in high school, we dated again until I met my 15-year-old daughter's father and I left him. And then...

I went through just years of just, you know, bad men, mean men, stupid choices. And then, you know, we just messaged each other one day on Facebook and he was easy. He was nice. He was consistent and always there. So we got married. I had to, I got pregnant. I was like, I'm not going to get pregnant.

Okay. How long when you reestablished to marriage, how long was that?

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The Hulu Original Series. Good American Family. New episodes Wednesdays. Streaming on Hulu. How long in between or how long before we got married? Yes. Well, I think that's the same thing. I may have lost my marble for a moment. I just want to know when you went back and saw that he was on Facebook, between that moment and your wedding, how long did that take? Well, maybe two and a half years. Okay. And in that two and a half years, how was the sex?

It was not a lot. Very, like, mediocre. Not very often. But I felt safe with that. And a little confused, you know. But you married it anyway. You married it anyway. So the reason I was asking that is I wanted to know if you had forewarning. And you did. And now you have two kids with him.

And one of the things that I would recommend is that you go to, you two go to a sex therapist and deal with each other's fantasies, desires, and all of that. A sex therapist helps you two to talk about it, to understand better how everybody's thinking and feeling and what they would like and not like in spite of the fact that people do have fetishes. That doesn't mean you two can't have

a reasonable sex life with each other. And I certainly would not recommend you walk out of this marriage. There's nothing evil here. He's got some, as people like to say to me, issues, issues. And so do you. However, we have three kids who don't need more turmoil. So if it means very little sex with him for the rest of their growing up,

I think you need to have enough honor to do that in a happy way so that the kids are not affected. They don't know whether you're having sex or not. There's no hate going on. Don't use that word for a situation like this. You knew you weren't going to have a lot of sex, but he had so many qualities that made you feel safe that you went ahead anyway. Well, those qualities are still there. So I urge you to go not to a regular psychotherapist, but a sex therapist. Okay?

I think that will help the two of you find some common ground. And I mean, every relationship is going to be different in the world. My number 1-800-375-2872. If you like this podcast, be sure to rate it on Apple Podcasts or your favorite place to listen to my podcast. Of course, I'd love if you gave me five stars.

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