How to stop being weird about money (w/ Paco de Leon)
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You're listening to How to Be a Better Human. I'm your host, Chris Duffy. Today on the show, we're talking about money. And for me, one of the most surprising elements of doing comedy and writing has been how much I've had to think about my finances. Money management is not my passion. And yet, if I don't put in the time and effort to handle it correctly, I won't get to do the things that I actually am passionate about.

I would never have guessed that the key to being able to tell jokes is that you also need to know how to categorize your expenses and track your receipts. I could never have predicted that.

At the same time, there's something really interesting to me about the fact that there are no universal answers about how you're supposed to approach money. Everybody is just figuring this out on their own for themselves, whether they're a struggling artist or whether they are a wildly successful entrepreneur, whether you're a person working a stable corporate job or someone who cobbles together two or three different sources of income to make ends meet.

Today's guest, Paco de Leon, is a money expert, but not just any money expert. Paco is a finance person who is also an artist. So this is someone who not only sees the system from both sides, but also thinks deeply about our complicated, sometimes fraught relationship with money. And whether you're an artist who dreams about quitting your day job or you dream about getting a day job and just having a little bit of financial security, Paco has incredibly practical advice for everybody listening. So, let's get started.

Here is a clip from Paco on the TED series, The Way We Work. This might sound strange coming from a former financial planner, but I'm not a fan of capitalism. Almost everyone I work with and know and love is an artist, including me. So I know the way the system is set up, freelancers and artists are too often way underpaid. They often feel like focusing on money will corrupt their creativity, or they think they're just not that good at making money anyway.

But the truth is, we can be good at it. And in fact, we have to be because our freedom is at stake. Our freedom to create, to influence, and to use the power of money to change the very exploitation that keeps artists broke to begin with. I'm not struggling anymore. And I've learned a lot since being a financial planner. And I just wanted to share that knowledge. Paco is going to share that knowledge with us and a whole lot more right after this break.

As you write your life story, you're far from finished. Are you looking to close the book on your job?

Maybe turn a page in your career. Be continued at the Georgetown University School of Continuing Studies. Our professional master's degrees and certificates are designed to meet you where you are and take you where you want to go. At Georgetown SCS, the learning never stops, and neither do you. Be continued at scs.georgetown.edu slash TED.

I don't know.

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If your occasional symptoms have progressed to more chronic issues like Elise's, talk to an eye doctor about possible treatment options and visit knowyourdryeye.com to learn more. And we are back. We're talking about money and finances with Paco de Leon. Hi, my name is Paco de Leon. I am the author and illustrator of Finance for the People. By day, I help folks not freak out about their finances and

And by night I am shredding the gnar on the guitar and I play in a band. That's actually a lie, but you know, I'm not always shredding the gnar. Well, now I got to ask what the lie of shredding the gnar on the guitar is. Is it that you're not playing the guitar or you're not constantly shredding? I'm not constantly shredding. And you know, like the more these kinds of cool opportunities pop up to like keep creating a deeper path in like, hey, I'm this finance person. The more it pulls me away from like being able to do the music, which is the ironic thing is like,

If I don't do the music, then I'm like not the Paco that people are attracted to. You're not the Paco that people are attracted to. Tell me about. You know, there's a responsibility to being creative, right? There's a responsibility to serving the creative ideas that are gifts that are bestowed upon you. I believe that you have to.

Arrange your entire life to please the gods of creativity to give you the gifts. Right. And I know what works for me.

And this probably works for a lot of people. Like I have to get up early because the membrane between the subconscious and like where the creative gods are and where I am, that's when it's going to be the thinnest. Right. So there can give me those gifts early in the morning. I have to exercise. I have to exercise my body. Otherwise, my mind takes over. I'm not used to being in my body. And that is a part of creativity. Right. Right.

especially with music, right? There's a physicality to music of like playing on the fretboard, tinkering on the keys, using your body to create noise versus like writing. And so that's a direct link between like why I must play the music and how that allows me to be the Paco that the marketplace wants, right? Because the Paco that the marketplace wants is it's an overlap between the quirky, weird,

And then the other piece is like, oh, by the way, I know a shit ton about finance and business, how to read a P&L, how to do your bookkeeping, the best practices for, you know, not freaking out about taxes if you are a first year freelancer or 10 years in business. And like, that's a beautiful combination. And I feel lucky to have like, I have to find the balance between honoring those two things.

Otherwise, I'm not the Paco that people have come to know and love. Yeah. And I think that's what draws me. It makes your writing and speaking about personal finance to me so powerful. Right. Like in your book, Finance for the People, getting a grip on your finances, you frame the book by saying that money is a proxy for power.

And you talk about how important power is, especially for people who may not necessarily think of themselves as powerful or even want to be powerful, because often power is associated with like forcing people to do things that they don't want to do or exploiting people. And you talk about how as an artist, right, like.

We need to have the power to do our art. We need to have the space and the time and the respect to do our art. And that money is a way of getting those forms of power, which are crucial to the actual work itself.

Yeah, absolutely. Money is just one form of currency. And it's an important form of currency. And, you know, for better or for worse, the path that we're on with humanity is we have to figure out that financial aspect, that financial piece. Otherwise, you're not going to have the energy, you're not going to have the time, you're not going to have the drive, you're not going to have the space.

to put your message out in the world. But, you know, I definitely look at managing your money, figuring out your finances, playing this game as just an opportunity to hold up a mirror and look at who you are and understand the way that you think and the way that you move in the world and notice those things and look at those patterns outside of money. How are you

interacting in the same way. How do you have the same relationship with money and work and career and your business, the way that you have with your mom or your estranged sister or your partner or your ideas of perfection or your ideas of worth, right? And so for me, I just look at money as just another way to explore who we are.

I was struck by another line in the intro to your book, which feels I mean, you're talking about it when you're talking about money, but it feels like you could have written it about the process of therapy and self-discovery, too, which is it's about feeling less fragile by implementing strategies to help us cope and let go of the things outside our control.

Now, that's you talking about finances, but that could easily be a book in like an instructional manual for talk therapy. Yeah. So, you know, at the risk of like sounding too much of a self-help junkie, right, there's different avenues for growth and progress. And I think most people will take the same path.

Many paths lead to the same destination, right? And I think like fitness is a pretty common journey, like a lot of people who finally start eating right and caring about the quality of their sleep and, you know, exercising regularly and getting fresh air, caring about their physical body.

They learn those patterns and that model and then you can take that as kind of like a stencil or blueprint and you can start to overlay that in other areas of your life, right? The other path is money. A lot of people do it through money right there. They look at how they've been spending it, how they haven't been saving it, you know, where they can find their agency and they exercise it. And then again, that's a stencil.

It's an overlay that you can use. You can look at the state of the damn world right now and be like, it's really, really, really, really simple and easy to find ways to numb out and to check out and just say, it's all too much. Let's not give a single flying fuck. But, you know, maybe we need to do that every once in a while, but...

to find power, to find like we have some modicum of control, how you can move the needle to mix analogies and focus there and do that a little bit. And, you know, one day you'll look up and realize, okay,

I can make a difference, right? Like me talking into this microphone, staring into this camera screen, having a lovely conversation with you, Chris, feels trivial to me in this moment. But I bet you I'll say one thing or you'll say one thing and it's going to strike a chord in someone's heart or punch someone right in their soul and they might make a change. And God damn it,

Isn't it worth it? So do more of that, people. For people who are listening, can you give us just like the 30 second history of who you are and how you got to the place you are in your career where you do all these things? Sure. I started playing music when I was really young.

And then when I got to college, I thought I better make a choice that will make my parents will allow them to sleep at night. Right. So I'm going to choose something practical. I'm going to study finance and economics because around this time, 2006, when I made that choice, a bunch of people were getting really rich and they didn't seem that smart. And I was like, bingo, that's my job because what I want to do is have time for my art, for music. So I studied finance and econ.

My first job with my degree was working at a small, a boutique business consulting and management firm where I learned how to do bookkeeping. And I saw the inside of people's businesses. So I'm like 22 years old, helping these creative businesses do their books. And from a creative perspective, I'm also still playing in the band. Then I pivot and I go into wealth management. So I'm working at this financial planning firm that's managing just north of a billion dollars.

And I start to learn about personal finances. And I'm here in LA and I'm sitting across from a lot of studio heads. And I'm kind of broke at this point. You know, I'm not making a lot of money. I'm still playing in the band. And I get this moment of like, wait a minute, I'm like helping this VP at some studio save like 50 grand on a tax bill. But like my community of people, like the artists, the painters, the ceramicists, the filmmakers, my people, they don't have access to this. So I was like, had this moment of,

truth or is like come to Jesus moment rather, where I was like, oh, I need to take everything I've learned because I've learned a lot and I need to start setting the information free. And the thing that kept coming up was like, is there a way that you can help your community of creative people with the sharp tools that you have in your toolbox?

And so the question was, how can I serve this community and thrive and not be broke? And so everything that you've seen since then, the bookkeeping agency that I've run, the TED Talk that I've done, the book that I've written, the podcast that I've had, all of that is just data trying to answer that hypothesis of like, can I be useful? Can I be helpful? And so, yeah, I run a bookkeeping agency and I make a lot of finance content. I'm just like, you know, trying to help people just thrive.

Inch by inch, brick by brick. I imagine there's a lot of people who listen to this show who are younger, who are maybe not in their first job, but still starting out in their careers. When you are in that position where you're kind of probably not making that much money, maybe struggling to pay your bills and stay out of debt or not go into a lot more debt than you're already in.

How do they start to think about money in this way that is empowering? Because I think for a lot of people, myself included, money feels like it's empowering when you have a lot of it and when you're rich and when you don't have a lot of it, it is a constant stressor and a burden and not like a fun tool. It feels like a weight rather than a tool.

So to be fair, I struggle, right? I'm going to oscillate back and forth myself between feeling very confident about understanding money from a very logical perspective. And then the reality of being like,

but I wish I had more or I feel constrained or is any amount ever going to feel enough, right? So I think having those feelings of push and pull are normal. It's just what it's like to be a human person on planet Earth, first of all. So I've been grappling with this myself. But let me back up and say that when I was a financial planner, I was a broke financial planner. I was making...

very little. And I was riding my bike to work in Los Angeles during rush hour traffic, which was like a 15 mile total commute. And I was like growing lettuce in my backyard to save like $2 at Trader Joe's, right? I've struggled financially. So how do we help young people get through this?

the first thing you have to do is really just look at the things that you can control, right? And we can't control inequality, unfortunately. But what we can control is like understanding how the market works, right? And sure, stock market, but I mean like the market in which you're exchanging your skills and what you can produce and unfortunately your time for money. And I think here's where a lot of creative people get

uncomfortable because now I'm forcing you to say like, Chris, how valuable is making people laugh in the world? How do we put a dollar value on that? But you have to start looking at what you're able to create in the world, produce in the world, how you're able to move people in the world or inspire people in the world. How can we assign a dollar value to that? So

Just looking, this sounds very cold and I feel like my economics degree is coming out, but just understanding how people value things in the world, I think is really going to be the first step.

Yeah. I'll say that for me personally, one of the hardest parts of leaving my job teaching and starting the work of being a comedian and a writer was having to constantly price things, you know, having to say, hey, will you hire me to write this thing or make this video or perform a live show for you? And that those things didn't have like a set price tag. That was a really hard thing for me. And I think the biggest mental shift that helped me, and this is only specific to me, I don't know if this will be true for everyone else, but is

I was shocked because I thought that if I said, hey, me performing stand up for you costs five hundred dollars instead of fifty dollars. I thought people would be angry or like me less. And it was astonishing to discover that most of the time when I said five hundred dollars, people who were trying to hire me respected me more and treated me better. I couldn't believe like it's better for me because I'm getting more money, but also like

You're treating me so much better. You're treating me like I'm a professional instead of like I'm just a guy who's here with a microphone. That was a huge revelation. It's a weird thing that happens when you are showing people like, OK, here's how I'm going to value this. Right. And that, you know, that statement in itself can be misleading because somebody who maybe doesn't have a draw. Right. The ability to bring in a crowd, keep a crowd and get people happy enough to buy more drinks. Right. Like.

You can't just wake up and say, I'm going to charge a certain amount. You have to like meet a threshold of skill. But once you exceed that, once you meet and or exceed that, yeah, it's really amazing how if you don't charge enough, actually, you look like a cheap option. Right. And the phrase I always like to use is the $1 oyster. So tell me, Chris.

If you saw somebody selling an oyster for a dollar, would you think that's a great deal? Or would you be a little bit like, I don't know, that sounds like food poisoning tomorrow.

You know, I know exactly where you're going and I know the right answer. And I do have to be honest, Paco, that I am a terrible person to ask this question because almost every year of my life, I have gotten food poisoning from eating something that I knew was bad. So I am definitely the guy who's like, one dollar oysters, yum. And then I eat 17. And the next day I'm like, those came with a cost. There's a high price to the one dollar oyster. But I do think that a rational person would say, I'm going to investigate why these oysters are cheaper than I think they should be.

Exactly. And that's what happens when you're, you're like anchoring your price, or you're saying to somebody, this is what I'm worth. I mean, a great example, like when I first started my bookkeeping agency, I remember trying to compete with like, a company like bench, right? And they're, they have economies of skill, they had, they were using proprietary software, they had investors, they could afford to lose money, right? When you're a small business, you shouldn't operate at a loss the way that these larger business can, because they're going for volume.

And I remember charging really cheap and trying to try to be around that price. And it was fine. It was going okay. And then one day I was like, this is, I like hit a wall, right? The pain was too great. I'm like, something's got to change. And like from here on out, we're raising our prices. You know, we're worth more. We're more premium. And the moment I raised my prices, like more people said yes. And I was like, oh crap, this is totally the goddamn $1 oyster here. ♪

We're going to take a quick break and then we'll be right back.

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And we are back. This is another clip from Paco on the series, The Way We Work.

When it comes to your offering, you have to be able to answer the following question. Why would anyone hire you over your competition? If you can't answer that question, neither can your potential clients, which means you can't charge more for the thing that makes your work special. Price becomes a differentiator and bidding becomes a race to the bottom. This is something you talk about in your TED Talk, which is why would someone hire you rather than hire the competitor?

five other options that seem on paper to be similar. And one thing that I really loved is you say, if you can't answer the question of why you rather than the others, then the only thing to differentiate you is price. How can you do that same work for as little money as possible? And being the cheapest is a tough battle to win. Super tough battle. And then if you just go a few steps further and look into the future of those choices that you've made,

when you're the cheapest now, you're like, what kinds of clients are you then attracting? Which means then what kinds of conversations are you having on a day-to-day basis, right? Probably things like, why does this cost this much? Could you give me a discount? Or you're straight up going to get people that

do not value you, right? They value the cheapest option. They value spending less money. They don't value like, "Oh, I want to have a great experience," or "This is worth it because the customer, the attention of detail that they give to the customer experience is top notch," things like that. And yeah, you definitely have to figure out what sets you apart, which I think some people struggle with that. But I find that to be a really fun

space to play in. Like there's a lot of potential and possibility and you can kind of like turn things on its head, so to speak. I've heard someone say like you have to give them a handle to pick you up by afterwards. So maybe for me, it's like he's a comedian, but he also interviews scientists and smart people about stuff. He uses comedy to make big ideas accessible. I think that's often my handle. It can be anything, but you kind of need to give people a handle to pick you up by so that they can remember you and talk about you to other people. Totally.

Totally. Yeah. In the financial planning industry, I remember we'd be like, we got a guy, right? You need an estate planner and you have all this complication. Don't worry. We got a guy, right? This is in your book and in all of the speaking and interviews that I've heard you do, you are always talking about not just what we should do with money, but how we should think about money. And

That's not always a way that people process personal finance. So I want to just ask you why that is. And I would also love for you to tie in a thing that's really stuck with me from your book, which is the idea that if there's one way that we can generalize, it's that we are all weird about money. So when I was working at the bank as a debt collector, I remember I would be calling people and saying,

the level of emotion that people would have right they're so ashamed they're so embarrassed they're like how dare you call me at dinner to you know collect this debt and i totally i totally get where they're coming from but that was a very formative experience of like seeing people's reaction to their finances and realizing that you know having this

right? And talking to a stranger is part of money. And so over time, like I'm stitching together this kind of mosaic and realizing like, oh, you know, people are weird about money. It's a very weird thing. There's all these forces that we can't control. There's this idea in the world that one shouldn't talk about money, which then exacerbates all of these negative feelings that we have. And

And so, you know, I think we should really unpack that. And for me personally, the moment that I was able to really change my financial life, when I look back on it, all of those moments start with like, what did I used to believe? And then how did I change that belief? And then how was I able to change my behavior because I changed that belief? And I know that sounds so woo woo. And like, you know, if you just believe it, you can achieve it. And that's not what I'm saying. But

You have to believe that something is possible before you act on that possibility. You say this explicitly in the book, and I know that you believe it is it's easy to think when someone is talking about the work that they've done in finance and also the

Position of recommending to people what they should do with their with their money that you are a fan of the status quo and like Capitalism's number one cheerleader and I know that you said in the book like that is very much not the case. Yeah, I mean another thing that is Prickly I guess from my perspective is that even though I'm helping people get through This system that we have right teaching in the rules things that are spoken unspoken things that get passed on

behind closed doors and certain zip codes, right? A big motivation for that is like, yeah, I want people to understand the rules of the game, but I do realize, and now even more, like seeing the future, like, you know, looking at the horizon, like there's change is gonna happen. And what needs to happen first is we need to understand how we got some of these rules. Like what is the history of credit scores? What is the history of credit cards?

Why does the stock market work the way that it does? And once we understand these fundamentals, then we can at least go from a place of, do we want to keep certain things? This is why this is great. Or should we burn it all down? Should we build something new? I think, again, knowledge is really the starting point.

Here in the US, there is a very robust system of enforcement and laws around the idea of insider trading. The idea that people shouldn't be able to invest based on material non-public information. So the idea that if you're an executive and you find out that your company is going to have a worse sales quarter, you shouldn't be able to sell your company stock when other people can't.

The philosophy behind that, as I understand it, is that it's not fair to regular people because you have more information than they do. And I'm not certainly not arguing for insider trading being legal, but it is interesting when you think about that philosophy because it's

A lot of the rest of the finance system, maybe all of the rest of the finance system, does not live up to that underlying philosophy. That we should all have the same information and knowledge and ability to make money off of these systems. And I think part of what you're doing that's radical is trying to get some more people who are on the outside to be on the inside of the system. Yeah, that's...

You hit the nail on the head. That's exactly what I'm trying to do. Really, what I've seen is I've seen a lot of people just feel like this world of money is, quote unquote, not for them.

And I feel that way. I felt that way. I continue to feel that way. But I think I've always chosen to try to be in spaces where maybe I just feel like I don't belong. Maybe that's a symptom of being an intersectional person. It's like you never feel like you belong. Maybe it's a symptom of having immigrant parents that you feel like you never belong, right? But if I can get as many people to understand the underlying forces and where they can find their agency, then I think...

Net, net, net. It's just going to help people suffer less at the end of the day. And that's really all I'm trying to do, Chris. So this season on the podcast, we are...

using as kind of a guiding light some of these virtues or moral values that we would maybe strive for. And one virtue that people talk about a lot is the idea of thrift. And for me, when I thought about thrift originally, I would think of that as just like being cheap. But it's actually the definition of thrift is the quality of using money and other resources carefully and not wastefully.

So how do you think about thrift and why is that important or is that important? Yeah, I definitely think thrift is important when I think about it in relation to power. Right. It's it's all about trying to be mindful with your resources, because if you're not using it here on something that seems frivolous or wasteful, then you can allocate it and use it over there in a way that has impact. Right. And however you choose, that impact is your choice. Right.

But understanding the opportunity cost and the tradeoff is hugely important. And I never thought I would be comparing thrift to power, but here we are. I'm thinking about it even just in your own personal story, right? Like you're someone who's riding your bike and you're growing lettuce. So those are examples of thrift. But in some other ways-

The fact that you are working this job that maybe doesn't pay you exactly what you want it to pay so that you can then get access to knowledge and connections and power is in some ways that's an example of thrift too. Yeah, that makes me seem like a genius and I was plotting to do that, but I really wasn't. I...

I think I was just trying to, you know, figure out my path. And in retrospect, I wasn't saving, right? I was trying to save like $40 a week in gas and $2 a week in lettuce. So I wasn't saving $42 for myself. I was actually saving $42 from my employer. And I, what, what I realized in retrospect now is I should have just confronted the discomfort of

I should have had an uncomfortable conversation with my boss and said, hey, listen, this is I'm not surviving here. And like, you're paying yourself a fuck ton. I literally see it. How can we make the math math so that I'm not, you know, putting myself in danger and super stressed out? So, you know, that I would say maybe the thrift power relationship in that example is maybe more maladaptive than I would encourage folks to follow.

Okay, we're going to take a short break and we'll be right back after this. As you write your life story, you're far from finished.

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And we are back. I've heard you give some really practical advice for people about spending because there's obviously there's, you know, there's the piece of saving. There's also the piece of trying to make more, which I often think is under undersold is the answer, right? There's a lot of people out there being like, just don't buy your avocado toast. Don't get your latte. Don't spend money on whatever. There's a very condescending paternalistic tone often of like, don't do that. And to me, it's often like, well, the answer is just don't.

Pay me more. Let me be in a union so that you don't take advantage of me. And then I'd be able to afford that. And it wouldn't be a problem. But spending is a piece of this. And I think a lot of times we don't know spend consciously. So let's talk about this this law that you've jokingly called or maybe not jokingly called Paco's law, which is your spending will equal what you have available to spend.

My philosophy on figuring out ways to constrain your spending, I really want people to create this idea of scarcity with their cash in order to kind of manage your spending. I think you need to find ways to protect yourself against yourself because

you know, we're emotional creatures. We're scrolling Instagram. There's a team of neurologists and psychologists and marketers whose whole job when they're paid very well is to try to get us to impulse buy, right? And it used to just be like, okay, you're out shopping and you see a rack and you think, let me buy this magazine. And those were low stakes. We're not in low stakes territory anymore, folks. I

I mean, we're walking around with tiny little billboards in our pockets, constantly advertising to us. So to think that you can use willpower or you can try to overcome this, you have to recognize the danger that we're in and figure out ways to

to protect yourself from all the ways that you're being exploited. So especially for something like social media, one of the things that I like to do is I just create rules. And so one of my rules is we don't just see an ad willy nilly and buy. We don't do that because we know what's going on. They're trying to trick us.

What we do instead is we take that thing that we're thinking about buying and we put it on a list. I call it the buy list because, you know, I wasn't that creative when I was thinking about it. But I spend the time imagining buying this thing. And I go through the motions of picking the color and picking the size and hemming and hawing. And I put it on this list. And I know that the thing has to stay on the list for, I don't know, five days. You have to come up with some sort of time period where the thing stays on the list.

And what happens is when you were shopping, quote unquote, without actually spending the money, your brain still thinks it's shopping. So oftentimes you get that dopamine hit that you're looking for. And I would say 99% of the time, Chris, I forget that the list exists until another thing is exciting and enticing. And then I put on the list and then I look and I'm like, oh, yeah, I don't want that other thing.

I'm glad I did that. So that's one way to having rules and

and doing the buy list. The other thing that I like to do is I like to separate my spending. And so when it comes to fun things like going out and all the things that make life feel like life, all the stuff that you buy that you don't really need, I like to buy that out of a specific account. You can call it your allowance account. You can call it your fun and bullshit account. Call it whatever you want, but allocate like a certain amount of money into that account every month. And that's what you'll use to spend your

you know, heart's desire. Maybe it's just because I wasn't like super financially savvy when I first started working for myself, but I didn't realize you can just, you can have like three or four no fee checking accounts, um,

And so now like what I do is when money comes in, whether it's a $5 check or a $5,000 check, I just put the same percentage into, I try and do it by percentages. So I'm like, I know that if I put 33% away in a tax saving account, that I will definitely have more than I need for taxes and I won't get walloped at the end of the year. And then at the end of the year, when I don't need it all, it's great. Like then that becomes like, goes back into the, you can spend it money. So for me, like having a no tax,

a no fee checking account that is just the kind of untouchable bucket has been really helpful for that. And then I kind of added other buckets as I went along where I was like, I'd like to save a little bit to give away to charity. Okay. So that's a bucket that I don't want to touch. I want to have some, maybe like a retirement account like thing. So at one point I think I had like six different, I've kind of toned down how many buckets I have because it was silly to put like 17 cents into a bucket sometimes. But

But maybe it's intellectually good to put 17 cents in sometimes. Yeah, again, it's like you're forcing scarcity upon yourself, right? And allowing, like, you don't have to do any more mental math. That's why I really like this method because you just like,

Like log into your bank accounts and you can see very clearly like, okay, that these buckets are not for me. They're not to spend. I think when you have all your money lumped together, it's easy to feel flush and think, oh, I can spend here and spend there. You're relying then on mental math and there's better ways. There's technology. We should definitely rely on it. And free resources like free checking accounts, we should definitely rely on those things. One of the biggest obstacles to tackling our finances is often shame.

right, feeling ashamed of how much you earn or how much you've spent or how in debt you went or the choices that you made or didn't make. How do you personally and then in working with other people, how do you think about dealing with shame and that kind of really big emotion? Yeah. So I once heard somebody talk to me about shame being like, you know, you feel shame when you go outside what was expected of you. Right. So it's like we are cute little horsies.

And we're in a little corral, I guess is what it's called, right? With wooden barriers keeping us corralled in, right? Those corrals and that world is what the world expects of us, right? Our parents expect us to go to college and society at large expected us to go to college, right?

They expected us to do great after college and make all this money and expected us to be responsible with our finances and not feel, you know, like, how did I get, you know, they have these expectations and we stay within those corrals the best we can. And when we go outside of it, that's when we start to feel like, oh, no, we busted through and we shouldn't have. And that's kind of where shame is.

So I think maybe looking at shame from that perspective can help you realize that, okay, you're just going outside what was expected of you. And that's a hard thing to experience as a human because we need each other to survive, right? And so we have this deep and profound sense where we want to belong and we want to be accepted. I think just knowing that is really helpful, right?

For me, like my own personal experience of like growing up queer is like a masterclass in shame, a masterclass in, you know, you have this corral around you and you are, you're not even the horse, right? You're something else disguised as a horse. So if you've dealt with that outside of your finances, you know, and you've been able to work through that, you might have a model for doing that. I think another thing is just letting it out. Like,

journaling is really helpful for me. I know some people don't, they're not like a words person, maybe they don't have an inner monologue. So maybe that's not going to work for them. So you got to find something that works for you. But for me, just getting everything onto the page, confronting why I feel so shitty. And then, you know, sharing that with other people. Every time I write something in my newsletter, where I'm like,

Oh, God, I was vulnerable. I hit send. I'm like, oh, my God, that was so vulnerable. I'm disgusted. Right. You have that vulnerability hangover. I'm like, why would I do that? Why am I telling strangers on the Internet about how I'm grappling with my sense of worth right now? What is the matter with me?

And then, you know, five people were right back and they're just like, I feel so seen. I feel so much better. Like I was feeling shitty and this made me and I'm like, oh, OK. Yeah. So I hated it. It was uncomfortable. I felt embarrassed. It was cringy. I guess we're going to do it again. It also makes me want to know as a musician and as someone who plays in a band and makes art and performs it and as a money person, how do you think about like the value of your work?

and your music to yourself, not to the world. - I think about art as a completely different value than money, right? That Paco goes to the marketplace and realizes the utility that she brings to the world and how I can impact people, right? There's this whole other Paco that is just like walking around experiencing life just like the rest of us and is sometimes struggling.

to figure it out, right? To just find the balance, to be a good person, to not be a shitty friend, right? To just deal with all the ways that we are also compromised in terms of like, I want to be a good person, but I have to do this thing, right? And art for me is a way to just process. So the value is beyond financial. The value is

Because art is a necessity that I have to do in order to process my experience of life and then come to the table whole, whatever table that is, right? A table could be me and my partner or me and my work.

So I don't look at art necessarily as something valued financially, personally. And that's my relationship to art. Someone is becoming a freelancer. They're starting out on their own. What's the most important thing or things that they should do in their first week or their first month? Wow. First week or first month. They should start reaching out to their network and say, hey, I'm selling this thing. Will you buy it?

Or do you know somebody who will? And oftentimes that's a service, but that's the first thing you should be doing is validating that what you are going to try to make money on will make money. They should do the thing that you did that you, I forgot to say gold star, A plus for checks or whatever with the saving into the tax savings account. You should be doing that first month. Great. And what about first year? They're finishing their first year of doing something. First year, you should be working with a small business accountant that you really feel like you like. I

Ask your friends, hey, buddy, who do you work with that's a small business accountant? Or go online to an online community of other entrepreneurs in your space and ask, who do you guys use? Who's the guy, right? What's...

Find the person with that handle. And before the end of the year, you should have a year end tax planning meeting where you're like, hey, look at all this money I made. Look at all this money I spent. What am I going to owe in taxes next year? What about if you are a person who has a stable job that you've had for a few years and you are let's say you're in a band or you're making some kind of art on the side? What finance advice would you have for that person?

Take advantage of that paycheck and take advantage of what other kinds of benefits you are getting at that company. Your compensation is not just how much they're paying you. Your compensation is things like your health insurance and things like an employer-sponsored retirement plan. So take advantage of that as much as you can. Okay. Your parent and your kid is in late elementary school or middle school.

What is an important thing? It doesn't have to be the most important thing that you can teach them about personal finance. One thing is I would make sure that your child knows that they're valuable in the world, no matter what they do and what they choose. Help them foster a sense of self-worth and confidence because that will translate to a paycheck.

And the other thing is help them understand like the value of money. Money is a, and value is a very abstract thing. I think a lot about money, like music, actually, it's, it's, it's very abstract. You can't grab it. It's just out and around and trying to understand value, help them understand that. Beautiful. Paco de Leon, thank you so much for being on the show and for gracing us with your, your wisdom and your presence. This was my absolute pleasure. So thank you for having me.

That is it for this episode of How to Be a Better Human. Thank you so much to today's guest, Paco de Leon, for making us all so much richer with knowledge. Paco's book is called Finance for the People, and you can find out about everything that Paco does at the website, thehellyeahgroup.com. That is thehellyeahgroup.com.

I am your host, Chris Duffy, and you can find more from me, including how to hire me for extremely entertaining and lucrative work projects at chrisduffycomedy.com. I'm also open to offers of wealthy people looking to become my benevolent benefactor. Please be in touch.

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