#107 Networking for Introverts – Can UX Design Help You Make Better Connections?
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Hello and welcome to the future of UX, the podcast where we explore the trends, the challenges and sometimes even some ethical dilemmas shaping the future of design. My name is Patricia Reiners and in each episode we dive into the intersection of UX design, technology and the future so you can stay ahead of the curve.

And today in this episode we are tackling something that many of us in UX, in design, in tact, in product design secretly struggle with which is networking. Networking many people feel is built for extroverts so how can UX level the playing field? Let's be honest

Traditional networking events reward loud voices, quick conversations and a lot of self-promotion. Social platforms like LinkedIn definitely favor constant posting and constant engagement. And conferences and meetups are often super draining for introverts. So I'm wondering, what if networking didn't have to feel this way?

Could UX design better digital networking experiences for introverts? What if AI helped facilitate deeper and more natural connections? And could we borrow some UX tricks from maybe dating apps to improve professional networking? Does networking need to have a complete redesign or is it simply a world made for extroverts?

In this podcast episode, we will dive into different techniques, different topics and tactics for especially introverts to excel when it comes to networking. Networking, human connections are super important future skills wherever you are in your career. So...

I'm an introvert myself and so I think it's super important to focus on networking and see it from the right angle. So I want to share some tips and tricks and tools in this podcast episode. I would say let's dive right in and start with the very first question. Why do traditional networking methods fail for introverts?

I remember my very first conference, which was a conference my first employer sent me to in Munich. It was a conference about like design and UX and I was super excited to be there and to meet people. But on the other hand, I am very introverted. I was there with my colleagues and I did not meet a single person, a single new person at this conference.

And leaving this conference, I was really disappointed about myself. And I thought like, why didn't I connect with anyone or say even hello or introduce myself? The truth was, I had no idea how it felt super, super overwhelming for me to talk to people, talk to strangers. And I just had no idea how. I felt like everyone at this conference was more successful, had more things to talk about. And I basically had nothing to share.

Yeah, and after that experience, I thought I need to rethink networking and I still want to meet people just like to hear their thoughts and just connect, meet other people than my colleagues. But on the other side, networking really felt very chaotic and super overwhelming for me, especially when people are already grouped together. And then breaking in feels sometimes impossible.

Or you rehearse your introduction multiple times in your head, but then really struggle to jump in. So what you do is you grab a coffee, you scroll through your phone and you hope that just like someone approaches you, which most likely is not going to happen because it's not very inviting when you have when you just look at your phone.

But on the other hand, it's not your fault because I feel that traditional networking, like going to a conference and then talking to people, is designed for fast, almost surface-level interactions. And many events also reward those who speak the loudest, not those with the most valuable insights.

Same with social media platforms they push like the frequent posting and engagement and self-promotions but doesn't always suit introverts. Just one example is the LinkedIn engagement trap. The LinkedIn algorithm rewards frequent posting and high engagement. So introverts who prefer maybe very thoughtful posts, deeper conversations, really long comments underneath a post might struggle to be visible.

And the result is that the most visual people aren't always the most insightful ones. I think especially on LinkedIn, I'm seeing like 80% of chat GPT generated posts that are for me very boring.

So we can definitely say that traditional networking sometimes exclude the quieter voices, but I think that UX can change that. So how can UX make networking easier for introverts especially? I would say let's borrow some UX tricks from dating apps. Dating apps like Bumble or Hinge or Tinder,

They are trying to reduce the social friction and start conversations easily. So we can have a look at some of their patterns and use them in our networking. What they are doing is they are letting people match based on interests, not on proximity. They are encouraging structured icebreakers. So prompts like, what's your dream job?

And they are allowing asynchronous interaction, so users don't feel pressured to reply instantly. I'm wondering: What if professional networking worked the same way? Imagine a networking app where you get matched based on shared values or interests, not just job titles. Instead of "say hi", the app suggests an icebreaker based on mutual interests. And conversations don't disappear if you don't respond within 24 hours, so there's no pressure.

Could networking apps shift from fast transactional interactions to deeper, slower conversations? I honestly think that there is a market for it. So if you're looking for a product to build, I think that would be something to focus on. But...

Yeah, unfortunately we don't have apps like that, which makes it a tiny bit difficult. So we don't have that. We need to come up with our own ideas. If we have a look at online networking events, usually Zoom calls with breakout rooms. I also hate these things.

Yeah, which a lot of extroverts enjoy, but a lot of introverts find very awkward. They also need to be redesigned. What I like is the Hopin platform. They offer a one-on-one speed networking feature. And I think like one-on-one is so much easier than being part of a group.

and the system randomly pairs people for a timed chat. It's still a high-pressure situation for introverts, but I think how this could be improved is allow users to maybe preview matches before committing to a conversation,

Letting people connect maybe agronomy via voice notes instead of live calls or offer structured conversational prompts to reduce awkwardness. Even like the digital networking solutions doesn't have to mimic real life networking. It can be better designed for different personalities. I think that is a huge, that's a huge challenge.

So when it comes to networking, I also want to share some of the learnings and some of the things that really shaped the way how I think networking. What I find very challenging is like going to a conference and then talking to random people. That I think is still a big challenge. Something that I am personally really enjoying is to meet people more one-on-one and then building a real connection or maybe even a friendship.

And changing that mindset for me about not having small talk with strangers and then connecting on LinkedIn where you don't really build a deeper relationship, but just maybe meeting when you're going to an event. One or two people, it doesn't need to be many. Where you have an honest talk, where you're really curious to get to know this person, where you ask questions, and where it's not about hopping from person to person, but going really a little bit deeper and building a conversation

seeing if there are some similarities and then connecting. So when you go to a conference the next time, my recommendation is rather focus on meeting one, two, maybe three people that you have a decent conversation with, where you really build a relationship that you really like

and connect with and maybe think about some potential collaboration or connect on LinkedIn or things like that than talking to 100 million people because the problem is they might not even remember you but when they feel also seen by you you build this deep connection and I can only talk from my experience

And what really supported me and my career were these really deep relationships with people who trusted me, who I trusted them. And we really built up this almost friendship, but this companionship where we got each other jobs and supported each other. And I think this is a very important thing of networking.

It's like the first step is getting to know the person, like starting with some small talk, asking some questions, being curious and starting the conversation. But then at some point following up, interacting with the content that they share, supporting them and making this a two way street. It's so much about also giving and sharing.

I think this is a really big game changer for networking or for building relationships, which is such an important future skill. Not just thinking about what can I get out of this relationship, but also what can I do for the other person? How can I help this person? Is there anyone that I can connect this person with? Are there any resources that I can share? Is there anything that I can give to this person just to help and to support?

And usually this brings you very far and so much. So this is so much better thinking, what can I get out of this person? Because the other person instantly feels that. And this is not a relationship that you build. Okay, so now let's come to this episode's sponsor, Wix Studio Web Designers. Let's talk about the C word, creative burnout.

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That's wixstudio.com. Over Christmas, I read a super nice book, which is about three different personality types. The givers, the takers and the matchers. Unfortunately, last year, I had a few relationships, like business relationships with people, which really drained me. It was, for me, super frustrating to see. We had some kind of a good relationship, but I felt that they are just taking and taking.

And at the end of the year, I really reflected on it and I felt I was connecting them with clients. I was connecting them with possibilities, opportunities, but they did basically nothing for me, although there would have been a lot of opportunity where I would have needed help. And I was really sad and thought, is this my problem? Like, where is this coming from? Did I do something wrong?

And then my partner actually recommended me this book and I read it. And this book is basically telling that there are three types of people. The givers, so people who love to give. You meet them, you have a problem and they are happy to help you. They are happy to support you. They are happy to connect you with people and they're happy to basically give things they can. And I feel like I am...

a giver so I try to like if I can support people in my environment and the people that I meet then they are the matcher so people who only give if they get something back so this is also not I think a really bad thing it's actually smart

So they give, but they also see that they are getting something back at some point or they are basically matching what they give to the amount of what they're getting back. So I think also super smart. And then there are the takers. So people who don't really want to give something back at all. They just want to take. But sometimes they are covering in this costume of that they are actually giving something, but they're actually not giving. They're not supporting.

And I think this really also opened my mind a little bit when it comes to networking and connecting to people. Because I can highly recommend the book. I'm definitely going to link it. For you, make sure to spot these takers. Because the problem is, it's nice to network with someone to maybe connect with this person if they are a taker. But if you want to build a deep relationship and you recognize at some point they are just taking...

Run. Don't give them anything. Because the problem is that they will just soak all of the energy, all of your resources and don't give you anything. So this is very dangerous and you need to be aware of it. And for me, it was very helpful. And I had a quick look at my network, like who might be takers, where I need to be a little bit cautious and don't provide all my resources and all the things that I can do for them. So tip for you, spot the givers, the takers and the matchers.

Yeah, I can highly recommend the book. I think it's wonderful. I think it's also on Blinkist if you want the summary. I think the summary is definitely enough. I don't need to read the whole book. Yes, that's definitely a tip of mine. And another super important tip, I think, especially for people who are a little bit more introverted,

is be on social media. It's so much easier to connect with people on social media than in real life. And you can make this first step on social media and then ask people to go for a coffee, invite them for lunch or things like that. How does connecting on social media works? I can give you lots of tips on that because I feel a lot of people are doing this so wrong. When you want to connect with someone on social media,

First of all, be nice. Never send a message to someone and say, I need this, I need that from you. You won't get a response. And this is so unpolite. I'm getting these messages on a daily basis. And I think I don't respond to that because I think, I don't know you. You are a stranger. We have never met.

I don't have time to help and to support you. We need to build a relationship first. And this is not that I want to be mean, but I can't help everyone I need to cut. And this is the same thing for other people, especially if they are givers. So they need to draw a line. It's very different when you build a relationship with someone. How do you build a relationship?

You connect. Same as you would introduce yourself at a conference. You start with, hi, I am... I'm doing this and that. And then make it about the other person. Share something. Hey, I really like, for example, the post that you shared. The article you shared. This was super interesting. I have a question. I would love to connect. And then at some point ask for something back. My tip is always give before you ask for something in return.

How can you give something? Like people's posts, comment people's posts, share their posts, tag them in their post, feature them, ask questions, maybe connect them with your network. And people, especially if they are givers, they will give you like 10 times more back. This is, I think, a super, super important networking tip.

Give something first and then connect. But don't start a conversation with I need. This is never going to work, never with no one. So don't do that. And my personal tip number three is to have a look at the areas or the things you're already interested in.

So instead of connecting with random people, have a look at maybe Facebook group, LinkedIn groups with topics that you're already interested in or join communities or become part or join an online course where you're part of a cohort and then connect to people. Reach out, ask questions. But it's so much easier if you're already part of a group, like of a membership, of a course, etc.

to connect with these people, right? Because you already have something in common. And this really helped me, to be honest. I'm doing a lot of online courses and communities and meeting people. For me, it's so much easier to have those smaller groups where you have also similar interests and things to talk about than going to a conference and there are a million people and it's very difficult to find people who are really a good match and who have really, yeah, have the potential to also become a friend.

So I think what we can all agree on is that networking needs a little redesign. A lot of these social media apps are not designed for introverts. Conferences are not designed for introverts. So there's a lot of potential still. I think a lot of also potential to learn more, to maybe build better products. See, maybe someone listens and has some thoughts on it. I think lots of potential.

And what we can still do is use networking in a way that helps us. And don't forget, networking is building friendships. It's building relationships. It's not about having small talk with strangers, but it's building true friendships. And it's a two-way street where you support the other person. And sometimes it's a wonderful thing to give something first.

You will get something back. And even if you don't, who cares? But be nice and be this person who mentions the other persons in a room when there's an opportunity coming up. This is the way of thinking and the way of being. And this is also the way I think that will make you successful in the end. Helping other people is such an important skill. And I think that's definitely something that people don't talk enough about.

I really hope that you enjoyed this podcast episode that was a little bit more personal and a little bit more about the soft skill part. If you had some key takeaways, please rate this podcast with a five-star review. I can't say that enough, but this would be such a huge help for me, for the podcast, to keep the podcast growing. And...

Yes, I would really appreciate that. So thank you so much for your support and for listening. Really means the world to me. Feel free to say hi on Instagram or on LinkedIn. I always love to connect. Shoot me a message. Let me know how you like the podcast. Maybe if you have any topic recommendation that you would like me to talk a little bit about.

And yeah, I think that's it for this episode. Happy networking, happy connecting. And yeah, just be nice to each other and build real relationships, especially in the age of AI and the digital era where we are all working from home and where it's sometimes really difficult to connect. Thank you so much for listening and hear you in the future, my friends.

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