AEE 2353: How to Call People Out on Their Quirks
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This is an All Ears English podcast, episode 2353, how to call people out on their quirks. Welcome to the All Ears English podcast, downloaded more than 200 million times. Are you feeling stuck with your English? We'll show you how to become fearless and fluent by focusing on connection, not perfection.

with your American hosts, Lindsay McMahon, the English adventurer, and Michelle Kaplan, the New York radio girl, coming to you from Colorado and New York City, USA.

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If you notice a friend has committed a light transgression and you want to point it out and tease them a bit, what can you say in English? Today, learn what the phrase is and more importantly, how to deliver it. This episode is brought to you by State Farm.

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- Hey there, Michelle, how's it going today? - Good, Lindsay, how are you? - Good, Michelle, did you get scolded a lot when you were a kid? Did your parents or teachers maybe scold you? - I don't think really. I was a little bit of a rule follower, so I think I didn't get scolded that much, but of course every kid does, right? There has to be something. What about you? - Yeah, same here. I was a pretty good kid.

Occasionally I would get in trouble, but when I did, I felt so bad. I think I got detention once and I just like was so mortified, mortified. It was not a place for me to be in detention. So yeah, not good. So anyways, Michelle, what are we talking about today?

Okay, so we are going to talk about a common, well, actually not that common, but it's common in this context. When you're scolding someone or questioning someone. So we're going to talk about why you would use this on this episode. But the construction is, have you no X?

Oh, I love this. Yes. Tell us more, Michelle. Well, this came up in my real life because my son was probably, I can't remember exactly what he's doing, but I think he probably involved eating a lot of dessert. And I think I said to him, have you no self-control like as a joke? And of course he doesn't, he didn't understand what self-control is. Yes. But I, but I, um, I thought there's an episode. Um, so

Lindsay, I mean, have you heard this kind of construction before? Yes, it definitely sounds like something I've heard, especially coupled with, have you no shame? Right. Exactly. It's kind of a creative way of saying something. I envision this being used by like grandmothers to their grandkids. I don't know why. It just feels like a little bit of an older phrase or a more creative way to say this. Yeah. So we're going to talk about this today. It's not super

super common, but I think it's definitely worth an episode. Definitely worth learning what it is because if you hear it, it

could be a little confusing, right? And it's good for our listeners to have these creative tools in their toolboxes, right? I mean, sometimes we might pull this out maybe on the IELTS exam. Who knows? Maybe there's, I mean, this is generally a back and forth connection phrase and the IELTS exam is more you speaking at the examiner really. But there could be a lot of places where we want to drop something really unique and creative. And this would be something you could do.

Absolutely. Guys, make sure to hit the follow button wherever you're listening to the All Ears English podcast so you never miss anything from us. Yeah. So we might hear this in movies or maybe as a joke, Michelle. Anywhere else we might hear it. Do you agree with what I said? Grandmothers scolding their grandkids. Yeah. Yeah, I do. I don't even know why. I do. Right. Maybe movies as a joke, whatever it is. So with the

with my son, I was, I was not really being serious. I was kind of jabbing at him, maybe just trying to make a joke that why would he get it because he's six. But I, it just kind of made me laugh because I was thinking, have you no self control? Just, you know, a little funny thing, maybe a little joke to myself. Um,

But yeah, it's a very interesting construction. I mean, Lindsay, we're really talking about this. Now we're going to go for have you know shame because you mentioned that when you think of have you know, I think most people would think to put shame. Yeah, for sure. It's the most common use of this construction. And I like what you said, making a joke to yourself. I think when you choose to use this construction, it's saying more about you as the speaker than it is about the other person.

It's saying that you want to say something unique and you want to kind of create a platform a little bit. It's quite a unique delivery. And so, yeah. Yeah. Sometimes we do things just for ourselves. Oh, yeah. Of course. Yeah. You want to entertain yourself. So but what does this mean? Have you no shame? What is this construction really saying, if we were to put it that way?

what would make sense really it's basically saying you're doing something bad and don't you care that you're doing something bad right like don't you have any shame about what you're doing right now you're on you know you're like doing something usually it's lighter things right right um it's not very heavy serious things um

- Right, so if you were supposed to, if a normal, a typical construction might be, don't you have any, but we're making it, have you know? And it's kind of, I think when this is used, it's kind of a rhetorical question. Don't you think, Lindsay? - Yes.

Lindsay, what is a rhetorical question? Oh, we could do a whole episode on the rhetorical question. Sure. And we should. Yeah. It's just basically a question that's not looking for an answer. It's more a question as a statement. Okay. Yeah. So when someone asks you a rhetorical question, they're not expecting you to respond. Okay. Right. Right. I'm not saying have you no shame. Oh, I don't know.

know maybe i have a little shame right it's not asking for a response yeah i'm i'm basically saying it seems yeah i i'm observing that you don't seem to have any shame yes yes and what you're doing is shameful whatever it is so right yeah really rare but

creative and fun when you do hear it for sure. Right. It's just saying, right, like, how are you not embarrassed by this? Right. That type of thing. So this is this is just really kind of fun to use. Let's do a couple other examples. So, yeah.

Let's say I offer Lindsay coffee at my house and she asks for a sugar. And then we open up my cabinet and I have 300 sugar packets taken from a restaurant. Right?

Right. It's this kind of thing. It's like stealing from a hotel towels or things like that, right? That you really shouldn't do. And like, you know, then someone might call you out for it. Right. Yes. This is calling someone out. That's, that's a really good way to explain this. So if I open up and you see, I have this whole drawer full of all these sugar packets I've stolen. And they all have like the branding of the restaurants on them. Right, right, right, right.

And you, so you could say, I would say, my goodness, Michelle, have you no shame. Right. So it's also in the delivery. There has to be some real energy in your voice there. Right. Yes. Right. Yeah. You can't say, have you no shame. Right. You have to have that energy. Or let's say you tell me that you have four overdue library books that you have to return.

Yeah, I could joke to you and say, have you no shame, Lindsay? Return them on time. That's another good example. So it's kind of these little transgressions, right, that you really shouldn't do. But it's not like we're talking about huge offenses, right? Right.

And your friend's going to call you out on it. And it's going to be kind of a fun back and forth because they're surprised or they're a little offended by it, but not in a deep way. Right. Well, I have a deeper, I have a more serious one though. Coming up. Those are kind of cute, but I mean, it could be more serious. So let's say a couple is fighting because one of them saw the other flirting at a party. So seriously, they could say, have you no shame? Don't you see him right there? Oh yeah. And that could be, Oh,

Oh, wow. Sounded emotional, Michelle. Yeah. So it could veer into the more initiating more of a fight, more of a serious emotional thing going on. So there are kind of two potential scenarios there. Well, and we hope more so that in your life you'll be using the first one. Yes, exactly. 100%.

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A-E-E. Just go to indeed.com slash A-E-E right now and support our show by saying you heard about Indeed on this podcast. One more time, go to indeed.com slash A-E-E. Terms and conditions apply. Hiring Indeed is all you need. Okay. All right, Michelle, we are back. So Michelle, do you use this construction?

Well, I brought it here because I did use it. But again, I wouldn't say that it's something, you know, this isn't something that you're going to use all the time. This isn't something that you're just going to several times a day. This is just for once in a while. And this is not something you should pressure yourself to use. It's just if you're interested in adding a little something fun to your repertoire, it does show a little personality, which can be good. So

not something totally immediate for you to add in but if you're someone who likes to experiment with these kinds of constructions and these little changes um go for it for sure i mean so the again the places where we use this are more rhetorical questions saying when you've observed someone that's doing something that's not really right and you want to call them out right

So, yeah, like accusing them of someone of something, or it could be in that playful way or in the serious way, but it's not, you can't just stick any word

in there, right? It can't just be, have you no almonds? You know, it can't like, no, no, no, that doesn't mean the same thing, right? Yeah. We can't put just a noun in there. It's really, it's really just shame. And then, you know, maybe self-control it's really about this person has done something wrong and you're going to, again, you're going to let them know they have, and you're going to let them know that you're a little offended, but in a bit of an animated way.

So you can't say, "Have you no almonds?" "Have you no pillows?" It doesn't work. Right. "Have you no pillows?" Yeah. It doesn't really work in that way. So some things you might hear would be something like self-control, like what I said to my son, or what about morals? Have you no morals? Yeah, I think that totally works. Same idea. It comes back to this kind of value judgment zone, right?

Where someone is kind of broken an unwritten rule or maybe a written rule and you don't think it's okay But you also don't want to get so serious and saying you shouldn't have done that Right, right because that can get a little too heavy for some scenario, right? Yeah, what are you gonna do sit down and lecture me about sugar, you know, it's too much. It's too much. I

Exactly. Exactly. So should we do a role play? Yeah. So here we're friends and I am telling you about a shopping spree that I just went on. Ooh. Wow. Okay. There we go. So I went on a shopping spree and I went a little overboard. Oh yeah? Yeah. I bought not one, not two, not three, not four, but five new purses. Lindsay! I know. Have you no shame? Well, it was Black Friday. I couldn't help myself.

I get it, but five purses? Have you no self-control? I was weak. Oh, geez. What a mess. Oh, my gosh. Five purses. That's a lot. That is a lot. How many purses would you say you own? I have a feeling you're like me. I don't really own any purses right now. I think I have like three. Basically, I get cheap ones and then when I...

make them gross enough by just throwing stuff in and then eventually I just clean them out and then I might have to get rid of them. Oh, no. I actually have a fanny pack. I guess the fanny pack is the modern purse for my style. So fanny packs are back, you know. They were hot in the 1980s. I remember my Aunt Sheila used to wear them and I used to think they were so nerdy, but they're back and they're cool now. They are. They are. They are.

All right. So let's go through this role play, Michelle. Basically, I bought five purses on Black Friday and you're saying, have you no shame? Yes. Right. Exactly. So you're saying it was Black Friday. I couldn't help myself. And I said, I get it. But five purses, have you no self-control? So I may not use it again.

Right. Like that, that way. I just did it for the role play, but again, we don't want to use it all the time. So I could have, I could have, but I could have also said, don't you have any self-control? Right. Exactly. Exactly. Yeah. And this is another example. So this is not like I've committed some kind of transgression, but it's more like it's a self-control thing, right? It's kind of crazy to buy five purses sort of.

by definition, right? So there you go. Michelle, is there another episode we could check out?

Yes. Let's check out, guys, take a look at episode 2343. That was how to say that two people don't mix well in English. Love that. And where should we leave our listeners? This has been a very creative phrase to bring in today to add a lot of personality. And again, at the beginning, Michelle, by the way, we said that you might hear this from a grandmother scolding their grandchild, but it's not just for grandparents to use, right? No, no, no. You can do it, but you kind of just have to do it with a little bit of a

jokey tone. But again, of course, if it's the serious one, don't use the jokey tone. Right, right. That's veering into a, that's like the opening of a bigger fight. Like with the couple, someone was flirting, more of a serious emotional thing. But most of the time, I would say if you try to veer towards this area of kind of teasing someone, there's a little teasing going on too under the, under the, yeah. Exactly. I'm just making, maybe with the sugar example, maybe you're known for this.

Maybe, yeah, maybe you come back with all the soap from the hotel. Like, and so, you know, I'm just, I'm just calling you out. I think it comes back to calling people out on maybe their quirks. Yes. Yes. It can actually say that you, it can actually show that you know someone really well when you use this.

Oh, well, and that's a good point. I wouldn't really use this if you don't know the person well. Right. Right. You know, if you, for example, you got to have a good relationship with them to use this. Yeah. Like if your boss invites you and your partner to dinner with, with them, and then, you know, you don't know them very well. It's a very formal relationship, but you find out that the boss's partner is stealing sugars. I would not use that in that case. Right. Right. Exactly. It shows, it shows how well you know someone.

Yes, 100%. Give it a try if you feel comfortable, but now you know why you might hear that funny kind of construction. Good to know. Thanks for bringing this to the show, Michelle. And guys, don't forget to hit the follow button on All Ears English to let All Ears English drop into your queue five days a week and join our community. All right. All right. Thanks, Lindsay, for talking about this with me today, and I'll talk to you later. All right. Take care. Bye. Bye. Bye.

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