AEE: One Way to Encourage Your Friends in English
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This is the All Ears English podcast. One way to encourage your friends in English. Welcome to the All Ears English podcast, downloaded more than 200 million times. Are you feeling stuck with your English? We'll show you how to become fearless and fluent by focusing on connection, not perfection. With your American hosts, Lindsay McMahon, the English adventurer,

and Michelle Kaplan, the New York radio girl, coming to you from Colorado and New York City, USA. To get real-time transcripts right on your phone and create your personalized vocabulary list, try the All Ears English app for iOS and Android. Start your seven-day free trial at allearsenglish.com forward slash app.

When a friend comes to you and is unsure about something, what can you say to make them feel more positive and energized? Today, get one key phrase to do this and build connections.

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Hi, Lindsay. How are you? Excellent, Michelle. How are you doing? I'm good. Thanks. Lindsay, do you think there are any definites in life? Are there any definites in life? Well, what is that saying that's so famous? The only thing you can count on in life is death and taxes. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Exactly. So I suppose those things are definites. That's true. But other than that, not really, Michelle.

Yeah, not too much, right? Today we're going to answer a listener question that I'm really excited about. We've been getting so many good listener questions. I absolutely love these. And today is no different. Lindsay, this question comes to us from YouTube. Would you like to read it? Yeah, this is a question from Omid Zakari7393.

And Omid is a long time listener, Michelle. I am excited to read this question. Thanks so much, Lindsay and Aubrey. I've been listening to your podcast for nine years. Oh my gosh. Thank you. Oh my gosh, Michelle. That's such a long time. We love this listener. Oh my gosh. Yeah. I have a question for you. Could you please tell me about this phrase? It's a matter of when, not if.

in which situations can we use this thank you in advance omid from Iran amazing long time listener yeah and Omed put a lot of hearts and smiley faces so we appreciate that thank you so much yeah we really appreciate that so just like Omed I'm sure that Omed is following all ears English and Apple podcast or Spotify or wherever maybe maybe he's a YouTube listener watcher because he asked this question anyways

hit follow, hit subscribe, or follow wherever you are listening to the podcast. All right? Perfect. All right. So yeah, great question. So what does it mean when we say it's a matter of when, not if? Yeah, so that's a good question. So it just means...

that things are going to happen eventually. It's not, it's just you can be sure that the thing is going to happen. It's just a matter of we're not sure the timing of the thing, right? Right, right, right. Exactly. I mean, something's definitely going to happen. Not in no ifs needed, right? It's Yeah, exactly. The key is that we just don't know when. So

When would this be used? Well, hypothetical situations would be a good one. So when one person is positive about something and the other person is less sure, right? So what does that look like, Michelle, in an example? Right. So just talking about plans even, you know, just like, so maybe you're trying to get into a tough restaurant that's very popular. You might say, oh, we will get into the restaurant. It's a matter of when and not if.

okay yeah yeah yeah oh perfect love that um yeah no that's good so what else what else else um well yeah these hypothetical situations lindsay you were you were mentioning um so it could be the company will start to unravel if we don't do something now it's a matter of when not if exactly

Yeah. And then when we're talking about goals, this is a very different orientation to it, to this phrase, right? It's more of a positive orientation. So if you are determined to build more muscle, for example, I'm going to build more muscle. It's a matter of when, not if.

I could see like a teenager saying this to his mom, you know what I mean? He's like, I'm going to become buff, you know? Right, right, right, right. Just watch me. I'm going to the gym for 10 hours and you can't stop me. It's a matter of when. Right, exactly. To me, I really like this. It's quite confident sounding. Lindsay, would you use this? Yeah, I think this is kind of in line with my philosophy in life of everything changes, right?

you know, change, even though we sometimes we don't notice it, but everything will change eventually, right? Changes are normal. So when we see a big change coming, instead of getting scared and curling up and being afraid, we can see, hey, this was always coming. And it's just happening now instead of at another time. Right. And so now I'm going to face the challenge and rise to the occasion.

It's quite empowering, I think. Yeah. Yeah. I like that a lot. Yeah. Again, it depends how confident that you want to sound, right? If you're very confident something is going to happen, you just don't know when, give this a try. Love it.

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Okay, Michelle, where else should we go with this? So would you say this has more of a positive, like, is it used more for positive or negative situations? I think it's just, hmm. What do you think? I'm not sure how to answer that. I think both, actually. I think both, too.

And I also think that it can be great for business. So, I mean, you know, when somebody is searching for a job, you know, oh, she's going to get a job. It's a matter of when, not if, you know, so it could be used to encourage somebody. So that's a

positive thing. But what's another example? Okay, here's another example. He's going to catch a cold if he doesn't get more sleep and practice proper hand hygiene. It's a matter of when, not if. That's probably true when you have kids and they're going to daycare and the parents are going to get sick. It's a matter of when, not if, right? Yes. I could see parents bonding over this. It's like, oh, it's a matter of when, not if. We all know that we're going to get... Well, that's...

You know, if one kid is sick in the family and then, you know, it's going to rip through the whole house. It's going to be a matter of when, not if, when, not if. And by the way, that's a great bonus for our listeners today. Michelle rip through, rip through the household. This actually, this phrase was used during the pandemic too. Unfortunately, you know, pandemic ripped through certain cities and towns and countries. But yeah, for sicknesses within the household, just the common cold, we might say that too.

Yeah. Right. Yeah. Actually, my it's so funny because then you don't know where it started or where it ended. So my husband and my two kids now are they all have colds and I don't really. But I kind of had something a couple like before them. So I don't know. You know, it's.

I don't know. I don't know. Either I gave it to them or that was something else. You know, they all start to overlap, but yeah, you never know. You never know. Exactly. But yeah, I mean, this is good for connection, I think, because, um, it just, it, it,

Like, I mean, like the sickness example, this is something that can help you bond with people over shared experiences. And it can also just give you this sound of confidence. What do you think, Lindsay? Yeah, you know, I really think it can be a great phrase to encourage someone. I liked your example of getting a job, you know?

Maybe if you don't have a job at the moment, you're going to get a job. It's just a matter of when, not if. If you have a friend that's in a not a great situation and they're worried about maybe their prospects getting a job or other scenarios, you could use this to encourage them. I love that idea.

Yeah, yeah, exactly. So let's talk about some similar ways to express this idea. These are good ones. So the first one is it's only a matter of time. What do you think about that one? Yeah, I love that. Well, that's I'm sure people had to say this to themselves. It's been hard shopping for homes, especially during the pandemic. Things got really competitive, you know, and so going back out there Saturday after Saturday, you had to say something, you know, to yourself. So, for example, yeah, again, we'll we'll

we'll find the house of our dreams. It's only a matter of time. Love it. Yes, exactly. And this also makes me think of another expression. It only takes one. Do you ever hear that? Yeah. Yeah. So these could be used for the house or the job, or if somebody wants to meet someone, sometimes you could do a whole episode on this and might say, oh, it only takes one, right? That's, that's the example I was going to think of.

you know, if your friend's really struggling with the dating world and they're really discouraged, dating is hard these days, you know, and to be able to say something, you know, it's hard to know what to say to people. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, exactly. Yeah.

um so and then another thing you could say is no question that's just a very confident sounding thing to say you could say with a little bit of hard work we will ace this no question exactly so i don't have any others to add there i think those are great um these are true connection skills a hundred percent yes yes all right let's put them together in a role play let's do it michelle so here we are planning a party and we are friends so okay okay so

Okay. So if the band shows up, we will be in great shape. Oh, they will show up. It's a matter of when not if. Okay, great. And the food. Oh, that's all squared away. No question. Okay. Do we have all the RSVPs? Well, not yet, but the deadline is tomorrow. So it's only a matter of time. I'm feeling very confident about this. Yes. Yes. You are very confident. This is going to be a good one. Maybe you have some party planning experience. I don't know. Yeah, I'm sure. I'm sure.

Imagine being a wedding planner and I guess you would have to be that confident about all the logistics if you're a wedding planner, right? Yeah. Oh, gosh. For sure. Yep. So here we are. You said, oh, they will show up. It's a matter of when, not if.

Okay, good. So you're not quite so sure, right? But I'm sure here. And I can put you at ease. Right. And you're echoing me because I said, oh, if the band shows up, we'll be in great shape. So you're saying, so you're kind of echoing them. So this can be a good one, guys, if you're listening to someone

talk and they're saying oh if this happens if that happens then you kind of want to say oh it's going to happen but it's this is also about um you know i i know someone who's likes to talk a lot about like manifesting what's what's going to happen by putting positive feelings and you know

phrases out into the world and just being positive yeah I know absolutely I love that and I like that you highlighted that um I am mirroring what you're saying so again if the band shows up and I I catch on to the if and I say it's a matter of when not if I love that so good and then I said uh and the food and you said that's all squared away which is a bonus for today what does that mean if something's all squared away it's all taken care of yes

it's all done. And then you said, no question. Yes, I'm very confident. Okay. And then you said, okay, do we have all the RSVPs? And I said, not yet, but the deadline's tomorrow. So it's only a matter of time. Clearly, Michelle, I have some party planning experience here, right? I mean, I'm not a newbie. No, not a newbie. So...

But yeah, let's let's. So you can use all of these. These are all very common. And Lindsay, another since we were talking about kids today and colds and all that stuff, we have episode 2331 was a conversation starter. How are kids seen around the world? That was a fun one. Yeah, definitely. That is a good recommendation. So go back to 2331 and check that one out. Michelle, I think

takeaway here today is this you know it matters it kind of matters what you say when someone comes to you and they're not sure about something yeah yeah and you if you feel like you can you know you can get behind some a positive message if you do believe that this thing is going to happen for them you can express that and help them to deal with the kind of challenges in life right yeah exactly yeah this can really help you connect with someone who's feeling a little unsure of something so

Yeah, this was a great question from Omid. Thank you so much. And yeah, Lindsay, I guess I'll talk to you on the next one. Sounds good, Michelle. Talk to you soon. Bye. Bye. Bye.

Thanks for listening to All Ears English. Would you like to know your English level? Take our two-minute quiz. Go to allearsenglish.com forward slash fluency score. And if you believe in connection, not perfection, then hit subscribe now to make sure you don't miss anything. See you next time.

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