The speaker shares their habits to make others feel less alone and weird about their own behaviors, aiming to create a sense of normalcy and connection.
A tonsil stone is a small, hard lump formed in the tonsils from food debris, bacteria, fungi, and minerals. The speaker gets them due to bad seasonal allergies and post-nasal drip, causing mucus issues and having a tonsil with many folds and crevices.
The speaker uses a flashlight to locate the tonsil stone, then picks it out with a long acrylic nail, spits out the excess, and gargles with salt water to clean the area.
The speaker accidentally projectile vomited all over their office while trying to remove a tonsil stone, covering the floor, rug, curtains, and wall.
The speaker lies on the ground in the shower for five minutes while the purple shampoo sits on their hair, adjusting the water temperature and changing positions to avoid getting cold or wetting their hair.
The speaker frequently wears orange shorts from Aritzia, which are a size larger and look like a diaper, along with worn-in t-shirts or a six-year-old Brandy Melville tank top.
The speaker uses a squatty potty to align their colon properly for easier pooping, as sitting normally on the toilet is not the ideal position for this.
The speaker kicks over the mini trash can in the bathroom and puts their legs up on it to mimic the squatty potty position.
The speaker physically cringes and twitches when alone, with a full-body reaction that starts at their toes and crinkles their nose.
The speaker eats like a pig when alone, using their fingers, eating fast, chewing with their mouth open, and licking the plate clean.
to be human is to be gross, weird, disgusting and bizarre. we're all gross and weird. but most other people don't see us being gross and weird. it makes me shudder to think about it. however, ironically, today, i'm going to be sharing with you all of the gross and weird shit that i do when i'm alone.
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