Deep Dive
Shownotes Transcript
Skipping school. Since school is right around the corner, you know what? I figured I'd make a video about skipping school. Skipping school is just truly amazing. Like, you just feel like him when you're lying down in your bed, and everybody else is at school, like- And it's even better when you get away with it, too. And there are plenty of different tactics that you could use to try to skip school, but sometimes, your parents were just not letting it fly. I'm sure everybody and their mom has had that experience where they faked being sick. There's no way you haven't.
I don't know how I got away with this, but I literally skipped half the days in kindergarten. Like, I don't know why my mom was so gullible, but I don't understand how I graduated high school at this point. Like, I was just setting myself up for failure, skipping half of kindergarten. That was kind of stupid. And I wonder why I was behind on addition. Like, huh? I don't know, man. Maybe it's because you skipped half the fucking school year. When you skip, you do not want to take it as far as I did because you're going to be so behind and you're going to have no clue what the hell is going on.
You're going to come back and you're just going to be seeing hieroglyphics on the board. You're going to be like, what the f- But if you just need an off day, bro, fuck it. Just do it. But as I grew up, it took more and more convincing I had to do to be able to skip school. There was one point in my life where I was up till 3 a.m. watching YouTube and I just couldn't sleep. And I'm like, you know what? If I stay up the entire night until 6 a.m., right, when I have to get up, maybe my parents will actually, like, let me stay home because I didn't sleep at all. Nope. My ass had to-
go to school on no sleep. And I was like, wow, I am never doing this again. Why did I think I was going to be able to pull that off? Like, obviously they're going to make me go like, why the hell would I skip bro? But the entire day was just like a try not to fall asleep challenge. Like I was bobbing and weaving the whole day. I don't know how many times my head fell on my desk. Like just too many to count. Like the entire class was staring at me. I'm pretty sure. But when I pull it off, man, oh my God, it was amazing.
All I did that entire day was just watch YouTube or play on my Xbox. I didn't do anything else. I was the literal definition of a bum my sophomore year of high school. Literally, all I did was watch YouTube and play Xbox. That's it. And I finally got off my ass and got a job my junior year.
It is a lazy man's dream to skip school. So of course I tried to skip school as much as possible. Like I just knew no matter what I was fucking graduating like there was a no child left behind law. So obviously I I'm graduating so when I would skip school, I wouldn't even think twice about it. But sometimes I would be forced to go to school and I was like fuck. I mean, I'm already here. Let's try and skip class. So, you know what that that was my other go-to plan. All right, I had to skip class.
So I was like, "Alright, uh, teacher, can I use the bathroom?" And she was like, "Yeah, go ahead." And I would just stay in there for like 20 to 30 minutes, grinding my Clash of Clans base. I'm just gonna casually walk around the entire school, and if the person asks, "Oh, do you have a hall pass?" "Yeah, I got a fucking hall pass, look at this. Look at my hall pass, read it, and fucking weep." And I would just keep walking around the school. I would just hate it so much when the hall monitors would be like, "Um, actually, do you have a hard pass? It is requi-" Like, shut the fuck up.
Yes, I got a goddamn hall pass. Just let me roam freely. Jesus Christ. It's like a goddamn prison You need a pass to get out of there. Like are you serious? And sometimes I would just dead-ass skip class, bro I would just not go at all. There would be no oh, can I use the bathroom tactic? No, I was just straight up skipping class I didn't do this one very often because I was too much of a pussy to actually do it But hey, you know what? I did do it sometimes i'll be like, you know, let me just camp out in the bathroom the entire class
class you know what even though it was musty as hell I was like it bro it's better than going to this goddamn class or sometimes I would drive off the property go get some food or something you know come back completely refreshed like the last thing I was trying to do was go to class so obviously that that's what I was doing you and you already know once my ass could drive I was going to get some food I was not holding back some mornings I wouldn't eat breakfast and I was hungry as and I'm not sitting there starving bro no way because you're not even
allowed to eat in class like what the fuck is this like if i were to bring my my egg sandwich from dunkin donuts back with me to class they'll be like i'm well actually you cannot eat this in the classroom it is a distraction like bro shut your ass up and now when you would get caught skipping school you would get iss and now this never happened to me before because you know i was i was very sneaky with it bro i was not getting caught i had a crazy ass exit plan bro i was out of there i practically
went through the back rooms bro it was like an ancient ass music wing and then i went all the way down to the art wing and there was just like a little exit on the side that you could just run right to the parking lot so hey bro i was out of there and our school had cops too it was like the fucking subway surfer guy and if he saw you leaving he'd drop his donut and he'd go chase your ass hey get back here kid there's no skipping a my watch
They were pretty much like mall cops. They weren't actual cops, of course. I mean, if something bad would happen, yeah, the cops would pull up and they'd be like, all right, step aside, motherfuckers. We'll take care of this one. But thankfully, though, I never had Paul Blart chasing my ass. Like, the area I would leave, it was an area where there were, like, barely any cameras and cops wouldn't even camp out at all.
And I was not trying to get ISS because they literally put you in solitary confinement. Like if you thought school was a prison, ISS is even worse. They literally put you in a little ass room and you're just stuck there with no fucking computer at all. And then you're in there with the security guard, I guess. I guess Paul Blart decided to hop on his lunch break and sit in the ISS room. But my school had an exploit.
As soon as you turned 18, there was an exploit. You could sign yourself out of school. Like, they couldn't tell you what to do. Like, you could literally leave if you wanted to. Now, before you turned 18, your parents had to come and pick you up, right? But when you were 18, you could sign yourself out. Oh, you bet your ass I abused the fuck out of this. And if your friend turned 18 before, you could have your friend sign you out. Like, it was a whole cycle. Unfortunately for me, I did not turn 18 until May. May! The school year was almost over!
over but you know what fuck it bro i used it as much as i could the year was pretty much over so i only got to use it a few times unfortunately and you think my ass had friends that were willing to sign me out no that's just that just wasn't happening like they at least had one rule that they treated us like an adult and that you could sign yourself out but oh my god when your parents would find out oh shit it was raps bro it was raps the xbox was coming out of your room hell they maybe even throw it out the window if you were very unlucky
But I was relatively in the clear. I mean, they didn't really find out. And honestly, if they're watching this video, that's tough. But you know what? All they give a fuck about is that I graduated. They don't really care. But you know how I got even more devious? When online school came around. Oh my god, bro. I wasn't even showing up half the time.
I was gone. I was out for the count. And sometimes when I would come back from like, I don't know, going to get breakfast or something, I would just see my fucking teacher staring into the camera and it was just me. Or I would take a nap, wake up, and then the teacher would be like, Birdie.
Birdie! Birdie, wake your ass up right now! Huh? Huh? What? Like, I was just extremely devious when it came to skipping online school. I mean, I was just trying to use as many exploits as possible. And my senior year, we were, like, in a hybrid phase, I guess, where you could show up to school if you wanted to, or you could go online.
I was going online almost every damn day. Like, I had YouTube work to do, I'm not trying to pull up to school, bro, that's just some ass. Like, in my senior year of school was the first time I was actually seeing growth on my YouTube channel, so I was like, "Yeah, I'm not going to school, bro, fuck that." I was like, "Shit, bro, I'm graduating no matter what, bro, I am not going back." I would sometimes tell my parents, "Hey, yeah, mom and dad, I'm going to school, bye," and I would just fucking drive all the way to school to convince them I was there on my Life360
Turn that shit off and drive home. And just do school from online, because the teachers wouldn't really care enough to be like, "Um, well, actually, you're not present in person." But yeah, they would just be like, "Yeah, whatever, he's here online." Everyone probably thought I was such a bum, bro. But I don't even give a fuck at this point. I was going to senior year, like, one time a week, bro.
Or sometimes I would go like a full two, three weeks without showing up and people would be like, yo, where the fuck were you? I'd be like, just don't ask questions. But now I'm in college, all right? I'm in my junior year of college. I'm almost done, thankfully, all right? Like, I just want to get this shit over with.
Like, I'm just ripping my fucking hair out to do YouTube full-time. I didn't really make a stable career for myself until like the end of my sophomore year, until I started Birdie. And in college, some teachers care that you skip class and some don't. So every single teacher that doesn't care, I would skip like literally 15 of their classes. Like, I was not showing up. And did it hurt my participation grade? *laughs*
No, not at all. Like I was literally still getting A's and B's and I barely fucking showed up for class. Like I'm a definition of a cheat code, bro. I mean, if I had bad grades, I probably wouldn't have gone to college in the first place, but I had good grades. So my parents were like, you're going to college. And at this point it is what it is. I'm already halfway through it. I'll just fucking finish it. I guess if I can get away with being an absolute bum, fuck it, bro. I'll do it. I mean, at the end of the day, I am paying for it.
So I can do what I want. And you bet your ass some days when I wake up and be like, you know what? I'm just going to work on YouTube today. School can kiss my ass. I'm not going. Watch some videos on the end screen. I'll catch y'all later. Peace.