cover of episode “I Don’t Want Your Help!” When Kids Won’t Listen to You.

“I Don’t Want Your Help!” When Kids Won’t Listen to You.

2024/10/23
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Calm Parenting Podcast

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Kirk Martin
专注于家庭教育和儿童行为管理的专家,提供实用的策略和脚本来改变家庭和学校中的行为。
Topics
Kirk Martin: 本期节目讨论了父母试图帮助孩子却遭到拒绝的常见情况,以及如何避免由此产生的争吵和负面情绪。节目中分析了父母焦虑、缺乏对孩子理解等原因,并提出了具体的应对策略,例如:给予孩子独立解决问题的时间和空间,尊重孩子的自主性,控制自身情绪,避免过度干预。同时,节目也强调了培养孩子责任感的重要性,以及父母应如何调整自身心态,以更好地与孩子相处。 Kirk Martin: 通过与一位母亲和儿子的互动案例,节目深入探讨了父母在帮助孩子时容易陷入的误区,例如:过度说教、控制欲强、对孩子期望过高等。节目指出,父母应避免将自身焦虑投射到孩子身上,并学习如何有效地与孩子沟通,理解孩子内在的需求和想法。 Kirk Martin: 节目还分享了另一个案例,讲述了一位母亲和女儿在马场的故事,说明了让孩子参与到他们感兴趣的事情中,并给予他们一定的独立性和责任感,可以帮助他们更好地成长。节目鼓励父母尝试不同的方法,例如:给孩子空间去独立处理问题,在孩子需要帮助时及时提供支持,并对孩子的努力和进步给予肯定。 Daniel: Daniel 的案例体现了孩子希望独立解决问题,而非被父母直接告知解决方案的愿望。他希望能够自主地学习和成长,并通过自身的努力来克服困难。 Emma: Emma 的案例则展现了孩子在拥有独立空间和责任感时,能够展现出更高的责任心和积极性。在马场,她能够认真地完成工作,并从中获得满足感。

Deep Dive

Key Insights

Why do parents often feel anxious when trying to help their kids?

Parental anxiety is driven by a desire for their kids to be successful and a feeling of responsibility for their actions.

Why do kids often resist parental help even when they need it?

Kids, especially strong-willed ones, want to figure out problems on their own and feel a need for independence and ownership.

How can parents avoid power struggles with their kids?

By controlling their own anxiety, stepping back, and giving kids space to solve problems independently.

What is the key to improving parent-child relationships?

Understanding and accepting kids' differences and motivations, and learning to enjoy them again.

What did the Dutch couple do to improve their parenting approach?

They allowed their kids to listen to parenting programs and then asked them to suggest changes they could make at home.

What did the Dutch kids request from their parents?

They asked for more freedom to be responsible for themselves and space to make mistakes without constant intervention.

How can parents manage their anxiety and control issues?

By recognizing triggers, stepping back, and giving kids space to handle situations independently.

Chapters
Discusses the common scenario where parents try to help their kids but end up in conflicts, and introduces scripts and action steps to avoid anger, resentment, and power struggles.
  • Parents often end up in conflicts with their kids when trying to help.
  • Scripts and action steps can help avoid anger, resentment, and power struggles.
  • Understanding the underlying issues is crucial for effective parenting.

Shownotes Transcript

“I Don’t Want Your Help!” When Kids Won’t Listen to You.

You try to help your kids do something they are struggling with. But they won’t listen to you, even though it would be so much easier if they did! And it turns into a huge fight, sometimes with big emotions and bad words. Kirk gives you an exact script and action steps to help your kids change…without the anger, resentment and power struggles.

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