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I'm a good lawyer, and I want to win. I'm a savage.

I think I killed GT. She needs someone who's going to fight for her. If we don't follow the right plan, we lose. The hit series Reasonable Doubt, now streaming on Hulu. She was defending herself against a monster. Starring Emma Yatze-Coronaldi. I'm the best lawyer you have ever worked with. And Morris Chestnut. I'm not gonna stop. I think I love it, love it. Never underestimate the power of attorney. Always bet on tax. Reasonable Doubt, new episodes Thursdays, streaming only on Hulu.

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Welcome to Can't Believe Reckless, the production of iHeartRadio and The Black Effect. Welcome to Can't Believe Reckless, the production of iHeartRadio and The Black Effect.

And just like that, we're back with yet another Catholic Breakfast episode with your girl, Just Hilarious. Listen, y'all, what I be doing, I be fixing the mess. Unfortunately, my baby sister is not here today, but she will be here next week and she will be helping me read stories. So y'all got to bear with me today. Nobody sent in voice notes, which is okay. I need to practice reading anyway for Breakfast Club. Let y'all tell her the bitch cannot read, but I can and don't play with me. So we're going to jump straight in. And I love that this message is from a guy, y'all. So...

Oh no, damn, it's from a girl. Not that I have any problem with girls sending me messages, but I love women, I should say. But I love when men can open up as well because we know our men do not like to tell their business, honey. They do not like to expose stories about themselves. They don't feel vulnerable enough in spaces where they can feel safe enough to tell their business. So I love, always love, love, love when men send in their mess for me to give advice on. But here we go, another one of my girls. So here we go.

I can't call into the show because of my work schedule, but if you can help with this, Lord Jesus, this is... Bear with me, y'all.

All right. She said, I can't call into the show because of my work schedule. But if you can help with this, I'd appreciate it. Just don't use my name, please. Girl, when the last time you heard me say somebody name, y'all are anonymous. Y'all will remain anonymous. Even if y'all give me your name, some people will be giving me their name and I still don't say it all the time. All right. My

My man and I have been together for about four years. We were forced to be with each other because we fell on hard times after a month of knowing each other and stuck it out. Hmm. It's been crazy ever since. My biggest dilemma is he is a security guard for celebrities. He usually does security for gay celebrities. Okay. And there's a famous transgender celebrity he works with often. Now, I saw he liked two of her posts on IG of her in lingerie. Ooh.

He said he didn't realize he was just clicking and scrolling. Then said it's just business to keep her happy. Here's where things started getting weird. He has an OnlyFans Twitter page with him nude and everything. And he follows her and her gay male friend on this page. Hmm. He follows both of them, but only the boy follows back. Am I wrong for questioning his sexuality and not being attracted to him anymore? Um...

Well, if that's the way you're feeling, nobody can tell you that you're wrong about the way you feel. This is your man, you know, as you put in quotes. And in all caps, this is your man, okay? Like, look at the screen. Look at the screen. This is your man. Your man, okay? These are your feelings, honey, and they're valid feelings.

whatever they may be. You understand what I'm saying? Now, I can't ignore what you said in the beginning. You said that y'all were forced to be together after a month. I don't know what that means. Who forced y'all? Were y'all talking at first and y'all fell up on hard times so y'all had to move together? Like what? I don't understand what you mean, y'all. This sounds like an arranged marriage if you ask me. Like what are you talking about? You were forced. Nobody's ever forced to be with somebody unless it is like cultural, usually, usually. That's a cultural thing.

Now, I don't know your culture. I don't know. You didn't provide that information. But either way, moving along, he is a security guard for gay celebrities, like you said. And he's main security for this transgender celebrity who he follows. And he liked two of her pictures one time. And you must have said something about it because you said that he first said, oh, he just be liking and scrolling. Why are you following your talent?

First of all, on social media. I mean, I don't know if you just work for this person. All right, cool. And then most of the time, like you shouldn't have to follow them because most of the time if they're out,

Then you're with them, I assume. You know what I'm saying? As security. I've had security. I know celebrities that have security. And I know celebrities that have main security. And they, for the most part, keep the same main security unless someone is fired or unless they hire a company. And they rotate security guards. I don't understand why you would be following her and then liking her explicit pictures on social media. Now, you also said your man got an OnlyFans page, okay, on Twitter. And only the gay male friend follows back.

Okay, so I can see why there is speculation there, why you're curious of what he likes and curious of his preferences now. But did you sit down and have a conversation with him about that any further than you just bringing up him liking his clients' pictures on Instagram from the first time? Because I don't understand how you go from liking and scrolling to, oh, I do this to make her happy. You don't need to do anything like,

But secure her to make her happy and safe. It's not even about you making her happy. It's about you making her feel safe. That's the only thing that you owe to her if you're her security guard. And that is all. Make her feel safe. Not make her feel wanted. You shouldn't feel wanted by a damn bodyguard unless you are fucking with your bodyguard. Okay? I guess y'all ain't watched the movie The Bodyguard.

You know what I'm saying? Unless it's a situation like that, all you need to be doing is securing, safely securing the talent. That is it. But I feel like you're well within your right to question him. And I think you should sit down and talk to him about it. If you...

feel this way strongly in your mind, then your decision has already been made because you already said you're not feeling him anymore. You're not attracted to him anymore. And are you wrong about it? I'm telling you, you're not wrong. So what are your next steps? Because I don't want you to sit there and let this roll off your back. And then a year later, you're still trying to be with this man because you don't want to hurt his feelings and feel like you're exposing him. No. So now I have a conversation with him.

Don't put him on blast. Don't do none of that. We ain't got to do all of that. What you do, like I said, you tell him you feel some type of way because you feel like he has tendencies and you feel like I already feel some type of way about you being a security guard for LGBTQ celebrities. You

You know, and then I caught you liking this and then you went and then you went from, oh, I just scrolled and it was a simple mistake to, you know, I do this to make her happy. Well, what the fuck you doing to make me happy? You ain't in a relationship with her. You know what I'm saying?

to you following the OnlyFans pages and all that type of shit and the gay nigga following you back and shit. No, it's too much. It's too much. And I don't think you're thinking too deep into it at all. Don't let nobody tell you that. If that's how you feel before you go to sleep at night and when you wake up in the morning, that is what it is. Trust your women's intuition, honey, and keep me updated. Get out of that situation. Get rid of him and let him be what he wants to be.

Let him go over to the side that he wants to go over on. Or maybe he wants to be bisexual. Shit. He like playing both sides. So I'm going to call him bye. Give him what he wants and just walk away from it. Because while some women are okay with that, some women are not. And you seem like one that's not. So keep me updated. I'm serious. I want to know what's going on. And I want you to keep it a hun done with him. And thank you for sharing, honey.

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All right, here's someone else. Sending from my business profile because my messages from my personal won't allow me to write more. And waiting for the invites would be accepted. I got to figure out how to take that shit off of there. Okay. Hey, Jess, I've been a longtime follower of Jess Hilarious and even went to a show in Vegas once. But girl, I just started listening to the podcast and I have been binging. Oh, I know that's right, girl. Thank you. Just almost dropped a found dumbbell on my foot listening to you in the gym. All right, well, you got to be careful, honey.

I was cracking up because you said something stupid funny. Anyway, here's my mess. I've been with my husband for four years, dated for two and a half and married for one and a half. OK. While we were dating, we struggled with communication issues. Both of us. However, the blame would generally fall on me for being the one who was really bad with communication. OK. I took the blame willingly and worked on it through therapy, my Christian faith and journaling.

Okay, that's it. Congratulations? What the fuck you want me to say, girl? Shit, it's no advice. That's it. Now, I don't know if you couldn't send another message because you said you were writing me from your business profile because when you wrote me from your personal profile, it wouldn't let you. But you seem to have gotten through here. I mean, did you just want to give me an update on your life, girl? All right, well, whatever you wanted to do, I appreciate you telling me that, boo. But if you can, finish your message.

All right, let's move on.

Okay, this person says, oh, this is a guy. Y'all, we got a man in a house. All right. I'd like to remain anonymous, but hey, Jess, I have a situation. I've tried calling the Breakfast Club to speak to you directly or get it off my chest, but never can get through. So here's what's going on. Okay, I'm sorry about that. A lot of people are calling up that early in the morning. You may not think so, but there are millions of listeners across the country, guys. So more power to you if you actually get through. Lord.

And you see how excited people actually are when we answer the phone. Like they even forget what they were trying to get off their chest or they forget what they even want to ask me because they're like, oh my God, I finally got through. You know what I'm saying? So, okay.

I'm gonna start. A year ago, I moved from Waldorf, Maryland. Okay, Waldorf, Maryland. To Atlanta with my daughter and girlfriend of three years. I thought everything was going fine. It was her idea to move to Atlanta. Oh, Lord. I went with it to make her happy. But on Valentine's Day this year while I was at work and my daughter was at school, she cheated on me. And the only reason I found out is because her and the guy she cheated with burned my house down.

Trying to be romantic with candles and shit. And turns out she knew the guy for years. He was an ex and that's why she wanted to move to Atlanta so bad. Oh my God. And now me and my daughter have been homeless living in my car and rooms when we can afford. She is only eight and we are trying to get back on our feet. My ex stole money from our account and lives with her ex. I don't know if there is anything to fix anymore. What?

First of all, you got damn right ain't nothing to fix anymore. Why the fuck are you even thinking about fixing anything with her? You are now stuck with the child. Now, if this is all true, and I'm not saying I do not believe you, but what in the fuck is going on? You moved down there. You got a job. Did you lose your job? How did you end up homeless? Like, what happened? Did you move down there with no job? Did you not ever find a job? She moved down there to be closer to her ex. Okay, cool. Forget her.

But the fact that she wouldn't take her child is crazy. Now, how did that happen? How did you end up with your baby? Not saying that you shouldn't have your baby because you are her father, for sure. Now, a child has two parents. But if she knows that you are homeless, why not take the child until you can get on your feet? I want to know more about that situation.

damn and then that eight-year-old baby she's well aware enough to see you know the conditions that her and dad has to live in shit you also didn't provide any type of gofundme any type of cash app either brother like come on I need to I need to know and then I feel like you did get through I feel like you got through because I feel like I talked to you on breakfast club just Monday morning I feel like you did Jesus Christ

Shit, I do not know what to tell you about being out in Atlanta. I know you need to be fucking careful because that's the most dangerous place to be sleeping in your car with your eight year old daughter. How do y'all shower? What do y'all eat? Like what? She's a little girl, you know, so I know you're more than scared out of your mind. I mean, people break in cars, people steal cars down there, people like just fuck with you.

You know what I'm saying? And this can happen anywhere, by the way. But it happens so much more frequently. And it's more expected in Atlanta. You know what I'm saying? That's like one of the most common crimes there. Carjacking and shit. Like, God damn. I want to know what type of fucking mother this little girl got. Ain't no goddamn way. Hmm. Did you see any signs? Like, how the hell didn't you see signs of this? Lord. She need to be in motherfucking jail for having her daughter...

You know, how did you lose your job? Let's get off the mom. How did you lose your fucking job? That's what I need to know. Was it because when the house burned down or

You know, you had to take several days off or like, what the fuck was it? Was she remorseful to say the least? Like, was she remorseful at all? Was like, you don't have any family that you can bring your ass back up to Waldorf, Maryland and stay with and get on your feet for a while. Like, I know how it is moving a plane right away. Not even only hours moving, like, well, you got to catch a plane too. And if you do have a car, right?

Drive your ass back up to Maryland. That's only what, an eight hour drive? Gas that bitch up and drive back up to Maryland. You are not, you should not be being homeless. Okay. Not with your baby girl. It's too much at stake. Too much going on. I don't care what you got to do. Get your ass back up to Waldorf and figure it out for your baby. Fuck that girl. Cause that's what it, it just, that's what it's given. If she don't give a fuck about your daughter, your daughter only got you. And that's it.

You ain't got to bad mouth her mom. You ain't got to, you know, if you haven't already, you ain't got to do none of that. You can just show her. All right. My dad made a fucking way. Drive your ass back up to Maryland. That's better than being homeless day in and day out, sleeping in your car and shit. You get what I'm saying? That's better than that. Quit whatever fucking job that is down there and take your ass home where you have stability, more stability or whatever. Like, where's your family? Shit like that. Somebody will help you, honey.

And we'll be right back after this. Hibernation season is over and it's time to get some sun outside. Gather your crew and hit the road in the spacious 2024 Nissan Pathfinder, your gateway to larger than life adventures. With spacious seating for eight and available panoramic moonroof, everyone can enjoy the journey and soak in the scenery of the great outdoors.

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Intelligent all-wheel drive cannot prevent collisions or provide enhanced traction in all conditions. Always monitor traffic and weather conditions. Towing capacity varies by configuration. See Nissan Towing Guide and Owner's Manual for additional information. Always secure cargo.

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I'm a good lawyer and I want to win. I think I killed GT.

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jess congratulations on everything thank you girl you're too deserving of this happiness oh i am messaging because i hate having sex with my husband damn it's bad sex girl and now he wants a girlfriend what should i do leave that nigga what the fuck wrong with you you you leave him he already ain't fucking you right and he want a girlfriend if you got bad dick for one bitch what the fuck make you think you gonna do with two bitches what the fuck is wrong with you

I can't stand for a nigga like that. Now listen, if you want to look a little further, what is going on with you? Do you not get him hard? Or like how long y'all been married? Because this is a short ass message.

beautiful fucking woman, I ain't gonna take nothing from you now, you a bad mama jamma, that's what the fuck I'm looking at right here, but I can see that you are seasoned, you are older, you ain't no young little whoop-a-snapper, which you don't need to be, but is he into younger women, does he want, when he say he wants a girlfriend, does he want somebody younger, have you caught him with somebody younger, has he ever talked about younger women,

Have you ever had this conversation that prompted him to want a girlfriend? Have you ever told him you would give him a threesome? You know, like, are you into women as well? I need for you to tell me some shit. All right. Because you sound like you hiding a lot from me and I don't like, you know what I mean? But I think you leave. You know what I'm saying? If the sex is bad and he wants another girlfriend and you're not open to that. Yeah, you leave. What the fuck? I don't. How long have you been married? You know, do you have kids together? What is I need some more meat on the bone, boo.

I'm telling you, don't be giving me these little ass stories and expecting for me to fix y'all mess and y'all leaving shit out now. But thank you for congratulating me. Keep me updated. She's so pretty. She's really, really pretty. Sometimes I wish I could see some of these people that send me these messages, man. I'll be like, how the fuck did you end up in this mess? Woman, you're too fucking gorgeous. What's going on? Leave these niggas.

Okay, it's the last story, y'all. Hey, girl. Hey, I love you and I love your show. Thank you, girl. Hey, girl. Hey, IG be sketchy with DMs. So that's probably why these stories be incomplete. They call it an invite text. Okay, so blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. I know it's stink ass behavior. Yes, I hate it. Trust me, I will find a way to fix it, y'all. But bear with me until I do so.

I really don't have a mess per se, but I guess you can let me know. I have my own businesses and I make good money doing it. I have grown to accept that I will not find a man that make as much as me or even more than me. I'm literally okay with this, but I don't want to feel like I'm settling for a bum ass nigga. I understand. Girl, been there, done that. And I will never do it again. I don't need a man for money, but they seem to like the bitches that want the money. Hmm. That they don't have. Ha ha!

I like that. Well, let me read that one over. That's a word, honey. That's a... Let me see. I don't need a man for money, but they seem to like the bitches that want the money that they don't have. I love it. It's weird as fuck out here, girl, it is. Like, maybe I sound goofy as fuck for it, but I accept it. If I like a nigga, I'm a whole trick. I buy gifts and do trips. I'm big dog, laughing like shit.

But I feel like it intimidates these men, having a woman that don't need them. Like, real live, Mo, I be feeling wild as fuck for thinking like this. Am I? First of all, I know you from D.C. Don't ever call me Mo, all right? Don't ever call me Mo, dummy. I'm from Baltimore. We don't do that. Psych, nah. I'm fucking with you, girl. That you living in your true D.C. self, though. I see that. So DMV in the house, first of all, I love you, girl. Love you, girl.

But you don't got to feel wild as fuck for thinking like that. I mean, that is obviously all that you have been shown. I mean, or most of what you have seen in the dating pool, obviously. And then I know we tend to let social media play on our minds when it comes to dating as well and all the validation that is needed from both men and women these days. So let's not ignore that shit. But if you take away from all of that, listen, girl, there are men out here that

That you can get that make more than you or make just as much as you that are ambitious and will not allow you to let them use you. They will not allow you to woo them. They will not. Like, I'm telling you, a man, when you meet a motherfucking man, I'm talking about a man that I got right now that I didn't think even fucking existed. Okay? Seriously, I'm telling you.

They are out there. These men that own these companies, these men that do their work. I'm talking about a man-man. Most of them ain't on social media. You ain't going to find them on social media. And if you do find that they got a page, it ain't nothing on that motherfucker, okay? They just get on there to be nosy when you tell them about something and they get on there when they're bored. Literally, there are men like that.

I'm sorry, your experience has been a little fucked up. You know, I've had some fucked up ones myself. But first of all, more power to you for having your own businesses, making your good money and all of that. I ain't going to keep letting you trick though. You ain't ready to tell me like you a whole trick if you like a nigga. No, that's how you end up being taken advantage of. That's how you end up falling victim to this shit that you're telling me about.

Yeah, and that little word that you gave me, you don't need a man for money, but they saying they like bitches that want the money that they don't have. That's because you out here wooing niggas. You giving niggas money to go give to other bitches. All right? It's intimidating. Now, these men like to be tricked off on, but they ain't going to stay with somebody like you because you make them feel small.

You know what I'm saying? You know, you're superior to them. So they're going to always have a couple of bitches on the side because they want to feel superior to somebody. If a woman is feeling superior over me, who the fuck I'm going to feel superior? I'm a man. Who the fuck I'm going to feel superior over? So let me take this money from her and I'm going to treat my other bitches. I had a nigga like that too that I didn't give no money to, but he was excited to be fucking with me. But it was known that he would use bitches for the money. So he would use all the other older bitches that he was fucking with to get money and do shit for me.

I'm talking about my, what is it, my 29th or my 30th birthday. Man treated me so fucking good with so many other bitches' money.

And then when the bitches got in touch with me, she said, can you go get my money back? Uh, no, the fuck I cannot. I love my little Gucci wallet. I love my Louis Vuitton. I love my Burberry hair perfume. You better go X that nigga for that shit. Now I left that nigga alone because I don't like when no woman is used. You know what I'm saying? And when it's brought to my attention, I stopped it. But baby, you're not getting none of this because once you gave the money to him, it was his. And once he bought me the shit, it's mine. So, you know, that's just what that is. But boo, I'm sorry.

You got to stop tricking. All right. You know, I don't think nobody should be a damn trick. I don't think a man should be a trick. I don't think a woman should be a trick. I think you should do something out the kindness of your heart not to keep a nigga around. It is not your job to spoil a nigga unless that nigga is 100% yours. And unless you getting spoiled right the fuck back. You understand me. Okay. So keep me updated because girl.

Mm-mm. We don't need no... You're too successful to be a trick. All right? So I ain't gonna let you keep doing that. And just like that, we've come to get the end of another Caffley Reckless episode with your girl, Jess Hilarious. And what I be doing? I be fixing mess, y'all, up and down, left and right, inside and out. Make sure you catch me on Breakfast Club Fixing Mess on Thursdays.

Call in if you can't get through. Send a voice note to the Carefully Reckless podcast page. Not the co-parenting page. Not the Jessalarius official page. Not the Messy Vision page. Not the Doctor Who page. Ooh, I got a lot of businesses. I know that's right. But send it to the Carefully Reckless podcast page. I will be checking it. And again, if you do not want your voice to be known, I do understand. But just proofread and I will try my best to fix this invite request shit going on. Love y'all. And in my deepest pain voice, peace.

I'm a good lawyer and I want to win. I'm a savage. I think I killed GD.

She needs someone who's going to fight for her. If we don't follow the right plan, we lose. The hit series Reasonable Doubt, now streaming on Hulu. She was defending herself against a monster. Starring Emma Yatze-Coronaldi. I'm the best lawyer you have ever worked with. And Morris Chestnut. I'm not gonna stop.

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It's from New York.