He's Your Man?!?!
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And just like that, we're back with yet another podcast episode with your girl, Just Hilarious. Welcome to Catholique Reckless, where I fix your mess, y'all. Listen, I just want to give a special shout out to The Breakfast Club and BET and Charlamagne and The Black Effect and iHeart. All four of those entities, they are the reason, well, not the whole reason, but a good part of the reason why I do this.

Keep coming back to do this shit every Wednesday, y'all. I want to let y'all know I love y'all. And I just, I really, really feel good. Really, really feel good. It's my first day at Breakfast Club. My first day of the week at Breakfast Club. So my episode drops on a Wednesday, but this is a Monday, all right? And I just want to let y'all know the type of work day that I'm dealing with. I flew from Charlotte, North Carolina after a show last night, right?

Show was at 6 p.m. We got off stage and finished the show. Everything was wrapped up around like 830. Had to catch a 958 flight. I made the flight, got here, landed here in New York around like right before 12 o'clock.

We boarded at 9.58, so we took off around like 10-something, landed 12, didn't get to my hotel till 1, got right back up at 4 o'clock, did my makeup, was here at the station at 5.30 to go on air at 6 a.m.

I'm tired as hell. And then from six to 10, we do breakfast club. We do whatever interviews that we have. And then now I'm in here recording. So I am literally running off of three hours of sleep, but I love y'all so much. I love what I do. I'm tired, but I still got energy. You understand what I'm saying? So the motivation can also be your adrenaline. Like, yeah, I'm tired. Yeah. And I may not even sound like it and shit. I really am. I'm not sleepy. I'm not drained though. I'm just tired. That's all.

It's okay to say that you tired. I'm not tired of y'all. I'm not tired of what I do. I'm actually very damn grateful and I'm going to keep on going and doing what I do, but I'm letting y'all know I do this shit for y'all. You found me? So we're going to jump right in. Nobody sent in voice notes for this episode. So I'm just going to read this long as run on sentence. That's what it is. I'm going to call it out. It is what it is, girl.

Hi, Jess. I really need you to help with my mess. I wish to remain anonymous because I could catch a case about this one. Damn. Oh, shit. So I guess I'll start off with the fact that I'm a 22-year-old female who's had really bad taste in men. And I find myself to be a little bit of a hopeless romantic. I mean, well, you're 22. Shit.

I'm always falling in love with the idea of a man. Anyway, in February, I started a job working in the kitchen at the jail. Before starting this job, my mother and family all said, "Do not fall for anyone in there," meaning in the jail. I even had training informing me that a personal relationship with an inmate could result in a rape charge for me. Wow.

Whether it was consensual or not, y'all listen to that. Don't y'all become COs and cafeteria ladies in these damn jails and then y'all get caught fucking these inmates. That's a charge on y'all. Whether it was consensual or not, y'all can go down for raping these motherfuckers, okay? Even if y'all didn't rape these motherfuckers, all right? Back to the story. So I start working. Things are going fine. I immediately knew I was going to have to deal with some thirsties, okay? So you must be a nice little cute little girl, you know what I'm saying? Nice wholesome young lady.

But nothing can truly prepare you for working with men who haven't had pussy in years. I had men saying they drank my bath water, sniffing me when they walked past. It was a lot, I must admit. But there was one that was different. They called him Bori for anyone that isn't Latino. That's short for Boricua. Okay, okay. I said that right. I got my little Spanish down peg. Boricua.

And at first, I wasn't even looking at him that way at all. It just started with small conversation, asking where I'm from, talking about family, him helping me carry heavy things so I wouldn't have to struggle.

The next thing I know, every day we're talking more and more. About life and God. Okay. I noticed the disrespect from the other men eventually stopped as well. He would tell me how beautiful I was and how he just wanted to take care of me and do everything for me. Eventually, my wall broke down and I started to develop feelings for the man who I was spending so much time around. So we started getting frisky. Hold up. In the damn jail, girl.

So we started getting risky, she said, not frisky. I slipped him my number. He would slip me letters and pictures. We would sneak off into the freezer together. No, we didn't have sex. We started talking about our life together when he got out. I was even looking for apartments and shit. And before you judge me, I'm going through a lot in life right now. Sometimes the unhealed part of me looks for something that can save me or someone to come save me.

After a while, word spread that we were messing around. Oh shit, girl, you know it's like the hood. It's the damn jail. Shit, the walls talk and the inmates do too. And sure enough, this information gets back to my manager. I'm not going to say her name, but I will say this. She is one of the realest shorties I ever met. She sits me down and tells me she knows about me and booty. I'm going to just say booty. Me and booty. That she really likes me. And that's why she was telling me she thought it would be best if I quit.

Damn. That if the information got back to her, then word was spread beyond her and to the COs, and then they'd launch an investigation and I'd get arrested. So she was saving me. To avoid all of the mess, I just needed to quit. And just that's exactly what I did. I came in one last day to tell Bori to make sure he saves my number in a safe space. And I didn't go back. This was in the end of March.

So having quit I figured there was nothing more for me to lose to look for him. So that's what I did I looked for him on Facebook and found a couple pages I looked through his friend list to see if I can find someone to pass a message to him Also, he didn't call you damn. I found this friend that he seemed to be very close with I messaged the friend to see if they still keep in contact and This man proceeds to tell me that him and buddy are together What?

That was his man. He asked me who I was and what I wanted with his boyfriend. Then I looked through his pictures and find a picture with them two hugged up with engagement rings. Damn!

Needless to say, my heart was broke. I immediately got sick to my stomach. I didn't know how to process that information at all. So I just blocked the friend and the situation from my mind and just kept moving forward because now I got to figure out how to pay my bills since I was stupid and fucked up a state job with a pension and all that. Girl, dumb as hell. Despite that though, I

I still think of him all the time and the way he made me feel, how soft and gentle he was with me. Maybe that was from him being gay. I don't fucking know. Or just him knowing how to treat another human being, girl. That don't have nothing to do with him being gay, you know. But now he still calls me. And I answer from time to time because I want to hear his voice.

Today I told him I knew about him and his boyfriend. Of course, he couldn't explain much due to where he is. But he claims that's his old life and he wants a new one and how he doesn't want to lose me. How he'll answer whatever questions I have, just give him a chance when he gets out. Oh, hell no. You want me to wait for you to get out? I don't know when the hell that is. You want me to wait for you to get out?

To tell me that you ain't gay no more. So you can answer all my questions about you being gay. Some of this your old life. Well, that nigga didn't say that when I hit him up to ask him about you. Y'all are fucking engaged. And what you did was you got your ass locked up. And that nigga is waiting for you to come the fuck home. All right?

A part of me wants that so bad just to say fuck it and love him openly for who he is. Then there's that other part of me that thinks what if he gets tired and wants to go back to dick? Exactly. I'm not sure why I haven't completely checked out after finding out he was gay. I need to know how you would fix this mess. Am I delusional to want love so bad that I tried to love a gay man? Get back to me if you can. This shit got me fucked up.

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All right, bookie, but I do understand. I understand how you can be fucked up by a lot because that was just a whole lot. All right. Now, let's go back to the beginning. Listen, you're 22 years old. You're 22. You had a great job. You did. I mean, you know, considerably speaking, you know, you worked in a fucking jail, but you did have a pension. You mentioned you mentioned that you love the state job. I mean, obviously, you didn't have anything bad to say about it other than you had to leave it due to a nigga.

I'm just going to say a nigga. I ain't going to say a gay nigga. Because we don't even know if he's gay. He may be bi. He obviously is not gay. You know, he's obviously bisexual. Or he could be poly. I mean, we don't know when we get into all the sexual departments. But we don't know. All right?

I'm also not going to say what he made you feel has no regard. It's fake. It's bullshit. It's asinine to feel that way. I'm not going to say that because that's not true. I do believe that he developed feelings for you. I believe that he was and probably still is connected to that ex-man, you know, his ex-fiance or could still be his current fiancee.

And he still may be even battling with his sexuality. He may not know who the fuck he is. You understand what I'm saying? He may not. That's why I don't want to call him gay. We can't just say, oh, you're gay because you found out that he fucked with men, you know, that he had a man that he was engaged to. He could still be very well bisexual. You know, we just don't know. So I don't want to put that on him altogether. I also don't think you're crazy for...

Feeling the way you do. We can't control our feelings. We can't control who we love. If you love this man, I do understand that. I do think that you are young. I'm not going to say you don't know what love is, but you have a whole lot more life to live.

and a lot more to experience before you lock down with a guy who is in jail. You don't know when he's coming home and he just expressed to you that he may be gay. You know what I'm saying? But he wants you to wait until he gets out for a full explanation. That's bullshit.

That's the only part about it that is bullshit. And the craziest part about it is that you actually had to quit your job. You didn't quit because you wanted to. You quit because you had to. And you avoided an arrest.

Okay. I think your manager is a real one for coming, you know, coming to you, um, before shit actually hit the fucking fan and telling you to get out of there. That was meaningful. That was somebody who understands and probably somebody who has saw a situation like that before, you know, a young girl caught in a situation like that. I'm not going to say that all men in jail are the same. I'm not going to say that, but I am going to say it's very easy to

to believe a dream that a man in jail will sell you. You understand what I'm saying? Not saying that this is your situation. Now I'm talking in general. It's very easy to believe that because all they have to live by is dreams. Some of them don't even know when they're coming home. Some of them ain't even coming home. So

So all they have to do is hold on to dreams and memories and shit, you know? And sometimes their dreams become nightmares and shit because they don't know when they're coming home. They have to live in a fucking cage and look at four walls for the rest of their fucking lives or for a very long period of time and be away from their friends and families. And like you said, pussy.

You know what I'm saying? It's hard that you had to deal with the mental abuse, you know, the verbal abuse from all the other inmates hitting on you, telling you to drink your bad for it. I know I had to make you feel uncomfortable. And then you said you met booty booty. And y'all was sneaking to the freezer. So much. I had sex. What the fuck y'all doing in the freezer? Then y'all freezing your damn asses off. And they're just talking and trembling.

What the fuck y'all doing? Shit, ain't no way you could have had sex today. I know this dick ain't get hard in the cold. A fucking freezer next to the chicken. Child, listen, all jokes aside, I think, like I said, you're very young, okay? Make this a lesson learned. You said he calls you, you still answer because you just want to hear his voice. Don't run from it. I'm not saying run from it. Just keep all your options open. Honey, I can't tell you

I can't tell you. I can't tell you to be with a gay man. I can't tell you to not be with a bisexual man. I can't tell you to not fuck with him. Listen, it's all about your preference. You're still young. You don't know who the fuck you are. Probably so. Even if you're considering dealing with a bisexual man, that's not me judging you. That's your fucking preference. If that's what you prefer, you need to figure out what you want to do. You know, he said, that's his old life. Do you believe him?

Can you un-gay after being gay for so long? That's a real fucking question. Women do it. Why can't men do it? And then the flip side is, once your butthole been entered, how do you, like, go back to being a virgin of the butt? You know what I mean? And are you gay forever once you get your butt plugged up? You know what I'm saying? It's just so many...

There's so many questions. You know what I'm saying? We did have Andrew call while I bring him up every now and then. He said that he's not gay anymore. He very well may not be.

You know what I'm saying? We don't know what that guy does. I mean, he still has, you know, his feminine ways or whatever, but that could still just be the last little bit, you know, coming out. You know, he probably got to get the last little bit out by 2025. He could sound like me. You know, he could sound like, you know, James Earl Jones. We don't know. You know what I mean? You probably don't. He probably don't. You know, he's getting the last little bit of gay out.

You know, so we just don't know. And while it sounds like I'm playing, I'm being dead ass serious. All right. So I want you to, you know, reach out to body or you can't reach out at the jail, you know, but don't reach out to no more his friends because then I feel like you will find out some more shit. All right. I think you need to let him know. Write him a nice little letter. Let him know that you're conflicted on this. You know, be as open as you can and tell him that you don't want to wait until he gets home for him to explain everything. You met him in there.

And he still, he owes you an explanation. Nigga, I lost my motherfucking job because I picked you over risking my freedom. I did in hindsight. I ultimately picked you. And he knows you're young. I'm sure you didn't lie about your fucking age. He knows you're young. I'm not saying that he's trying to take advantage of you, but you are very impressionable. Okay. It took him a minute to knock down that wall, but he did. A nigga in jail knocked down a wall. Okay. Okay.

You can have anybody on the outside, your age, a couple years older, whatever, without a record, without a boyfriend or, you know, a fiance and without a past like that. And you chose booty.

Again, it may sound like I'm judging you. I'm not. But sometimes you got to hear shit repeated back to you so you can hear how unorthodox it sounds. I'm not saying situation is crazy. I'm not saying it's disgusting. I'm not saying any of that. I don't want you to get the wrong idea. I said unorthodox. It's a lot going on. A lot going on. You too young for that. You should be working on your next fucking job. Not working on booty. And when the fuck he come home?

What the fuck is he gonna give you? Is he backing up his promises? What concrete details? Does he have a fucking plan? What is he doing in there now? And did you work in a jail or did you work in a prison? That's different. Is he taking classes to better himself? Like, what the fuck is he doing? What are his dreams? Did y'all get to know each other in that damn... Did he tell you that in that freezer? What did he tell you? While he was cold, freezing your ass off, you're supposed to be on the damn floor with the rest of the inmates and you playing in the freezer with booty? Girl...

I think you need to go try to get your damn job back or go to another damn jail and don't fall in love with no more fucking inmates, girl. I mean that. No, they're not all the same, but that ain't where you want to get your man from. It's good men and that too, but let them come home, figure themselves out and find their woman or let them come home to people that's already waiting for them. I mean that. I mean that even in your case, let them come home.

to who's waiting for them, obviously, okay? Because dreams are still sold in jail, okay? Okay, check back in with me because I want to know where you go from here. I would love for you to go get another job. You seem like you had your head on damn straight, but you know, we don't know. We don't know. I know you need to get it together. If you love me, you'll listen to this commercial and then we'll be right back.

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Intelligent all-wheel drive cannot prevent collisions or provide enhanced traction in all conditions. Always monitor traffic and weather conditions. Towing capacity varies by configuration. See Nissan Towing Guide and Owner's Manual for additional information. Always secure cargo.

State Farm Insurance gets it. Representation alone doesn't equate to authenticity. State Farm understands and wants to help protect our communities by investing in our future, building off the hard work our parents have done before us. We all are looking to create generational wealth so that our families and generations behind us have a better starting point than we did. That begins with financial literacy.

State Farm helps fund programs like Project Ready, a National Urban League program committed to the educational achievement of Black and Brown youth.

To date, participants have been awarded over $11 million in scholarships offers as a direct result of contributions from State Farm. At Eating While Broke, we hear inspiring rags to riches stories on each episode from our guests. But with State Farm, you can begin to write your own success story. State Farm believes that being better neighbors creates better communities and have a long lasting impact. Like a good neighbor, State Farm is there. I'm a good lawyer and I want to win. I'm a savage.

I think I killed GT. She needs someone who's going to fight for her. If we don't follow the right plan, we lose. The hit series Reasonable Doubt, now streaming on Hulu. She was defending herself against a monster. Starring Emma Yatze-Coronaldi. I'm the best lawyer you have ever worked with. And Morris Chestnut. I'm not going to stop. I think I love it, love it. Never underestimate the power of attorney. Always bet on Jags. Reasonable Doubt, new episodes Thursdays, streaming only on Hulu.

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Moving on. Hey, Jess, I have a boyfriend that I've been with for four years, but we both want different things. I want us to have our own place, but he wants to keep living with his dad. He's 21 and I'm 20. Damn, girl. Shit. Girl, he probably ain't ready for all of that now. Come on. What the hell are you talking about? First of all, you little hot ass, calm down.

You ain't even 21 yet. He's 21 and you're 20. I understand you want to move. Okay. You want to move with your boyfriend. Y'all been together for four years. Yeah. So y'all were together since 16, 17. I understand, but you really truly don't know a person until you live with them. And I honestly, I'm not trying to, I'm not trying to control your life.

But you got one more year until you make all these big decisions and you got to live with him. You understand what I'm saying? I think he's making a sensible decision. You act like he 31, 41 living with his dad. I know some people living with their parents that are older than I am, which I'm still not saying anything is wrong with. I'm just saying it depends on your level of independence. If you want to be independent, some people, parents don't want them to leave. Some people don't want to leave their parents.

But when you have relationships and jobs and kids and all that type of shit, you want your own. And when you just are tired of living under someone else's roof, you want your own. But then you have people that stay at home as long as they can, because I'm going to tell you something. It's hard as shit out here these days.

Back in the day when I first moved out, yeah, it was hard, but it wasn't nowhere near as hard as it is now. We're in a recession right now. And while it doesn't affect a lot of people and why it doesn't look like, why it doesn't look like it affects a lot of people. Oh, it does. It's affecting a lot of fucking people. I went to, this is a sidetrack real quick.

I went to Chick-fil-A the other day, right? I ordered food for me, my sister, and my videographer. That shit came up to like $38 and we didn't even get four meals. I was the only one that got a full meal. My sister got some nuggets, mac and cheese, and he got a salad and a milkshake or some shit. $38, $40 for three people to eat and they weren't even full complete meals.

It's a fucking struggle out here. That shit may sound like pennies to certain people. To other people, you ain't got it. It's hard feeding your fucking family. That's why so much crime. That's why niggas is hungry, robbing, stealing, fucking killing people and shit. People are trying to make ways out of no way. You understand what I'm saying? And then we have yellow ass that want to move out quick, fast, in a hurry. Girl, you're going to be right back.

And I don't even like, and I don't like saying this. I don't like seeming like I'm talking down, but don't jump out there too fucking fast. Okay? Don't. At least wait until you're 21. And then let him take his time. If y'all been together for four years already, where are you going? Where are you going? Do you see y'all going downhill? Is this a deal breaker for you? If y'all don't move together, you gonna leave him? Hmm? What is this? It's all right. Compromise in a relationship. Compromise.

Give them like a wager, you know, leverage. Let's meet in the middle. Compromise. Say, all right, babe, you know how bad I want to move together. Since we can't do that right now, let's revisit this in another year.

six months to a year and let's see where you'll be by then or let's wait until my 21st birthday and let's see where you'll be by then and we'll revisit it you know what i mean don't just up and leave call it quits just because he's not trying to move together right now he also could be scared he could be nervous his parents could be in his head you ain't about to move with that girl

You know what I'm saying? You don't know. So I think it's a communication thing. Sit down and talk to him, but also compromise. If you see it's really a problem, don't ever pressure a man to do shit. Just like I don't think we should be pressured to do anything. Never put pressure on a man because when they feel pressured, they do shit like lie. They start telling you what you want to hear and they don't even mean it. Just to get from up under that pressure. You know what I'm saying?

Like they start to lie. They start to run. They start to cheat. They start to don't pressure him. Be upfront. Always. That's the tip that you can take from me.

I'm 31. I still ain't got it all figured out relationship-wise, but I think I'm doing pretty damn good because I've had some bad examples to show me what not to do and what to watch out for. Well, actually, I should call them good examples because I know the nigga right now was thanking them niggas. All right. Well, listen, we come to the end of another Carefully Reckless episode where Jess is fixing your mess every Wednesday on the Black Effect. Thank you, I heart.

This is the home for your podcast. Anywhere you find podcasts, you listen to podcasts, make sure you search carefully, right? And in my deepest, Pam voice. Peace.

Carefully Reckless is a production of iHeartRadio and The Black Effect. For more podcasts from iHeartRadio, visit the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you listen to your favorite shows. I'm a good lawyer and I want to win. I think I killed JT.

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