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cover of episode I'm Where She's At, But He's Where I Wanna Be

I'm Where She's At, But He's Where I Wanna Be

2024/12/11
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Carefully Reckless

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Jess
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Taylor
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Taylor: 我和前任交往两年,一度认为他会是我的结婚对象,分手四年后偶然重逢,引发我对前任的思念。我们一起买地投资建房,甚至一起养宠物,我确信他会是我的结婚对象。后来,我们开始为一些琐碎的事情争吵,约会减少,甚至不得不送走我们的宠物。我们最终和平分手,这让我们都很难过。现在,我已经和一位女性订婚,感觉找到了我的灵魂伴侣,生活焕然一新。但那天我在汽车经销店偶遇前任,他给了我一个紧紧的拥抱,我们聊了大约三十分钟。虽然我很开心现在的生活,但我仍然会想起他,思考如果我们当初没有分手会怎样。我知道这听起来很糟糕,但我爱我的未婚妻,我发誓是真的。 Jess: Taylor与前任的感情很深,分手后又与女性订婚,但偶然重逢前任后,又开始思念前任。这可能是因为她对前任的感情很深,分手后又与女性订婚,但偶然重逢前任后,又开始思念前任。这可能是因为她对前任的感情很深,分手四年后,再次见到前任,旧情复燃。这可能是因为她对前任的感情很深,分手四年后,再次见到前任,旧情复燃。这可能是因为她对前任的感情很深,分手四年后,再次见到前任,旧情复燃。这可能是因为她对前任的感情很深,分手四年后,再次见到前任,旧情复燃。这可能是因为她对前任的感情很深,分手四年后,再次见到前任,旧情复燃。这可能是因为她对前任的感情很深,分手四年后,再次见到前任,旧情复燃。这可能是因为她对前任的感情很深,分手四年后,再次见到前任,旧情复燃。这可能是因为她对前任的感情很深,分手四年后,再次见到前任,旧情复燃。这可能是因为她对前任的感情很深,分手四年后,再次见到前任,旧情复燃。这可能是因为她对前任的感情很深,分手四年后,再次见到前任,旧情复燃。这可能是因为她对前任的感情很深,分手四年后,再次见到前任,旧情复燃。这可能是因为她对前任的感情很深,分手四年后,再次见到前任,旧情复燃。这可能是因为她对前任的感情很深,分手四年后,再次见到前任,旧情复燃。这可能是因为她对前任的感情很深,分手四年后,再次见到前任,旧情复燃。这可能是因为她对前任的感情很深,分手四年后,再次见到前任,旧情复燃。这可能是因为她对前任的感情很深,分手四年后,再次见到前任,旧情复燃。这可能是因为她对前任的感情很深,分手四年后,再次见到前任,旧情复燃。这可能是因为她对前任的感情很深,分手四年后,再次见到前任,旧情复燃。这可能是因为她对前任的感情很深,分手四年后,再次见到前任,旧情复燃。这可能是因为她对前任的感情很深,分手四年后,再次见到前任,旧情复燃。这可能是因为她对前任的感情很深,分手四年后,再次见到前任,旧情复燃。这可能是因为她对前任的感情很深,分手四年后,再次见到前任,旧情复燃。这可能是因为她对前任的感情很深,分手四年后,再次见到前任,旧情复燃。这可能是因为她对前任的感情很深,分手四年后,再次见到前任,旧情复燃。

Deep Dive

Key Insights

How long were the narrator and her ex in a relationship?

They were together for about two years.

What significant investments did the narrator and her ex make together?

They bought land to build their own house and shared a pet.

Why did the narrator and her ex break up?

They grew apart and wanted different things, leading to arguments and a lack of dates.

What was the narrator's reaction when she saw her ex after four years?

She felt weird at first but ended up having a genuine conversation and hugging him.

What thoughts have been troubling the narrator since seeing her ex?

She has been thinking about what could have been if they had worked things out.

How does Jess Hilarious suggest the narrator should handle her thoughts about her ex?

Jess suggests she should figure out where her ex is at in life before making any decisions about her current relationship.

What does Jess Hilarious believe about the narrator's feelings for her ex?

Jess thinks there might be unfinished business with her ex, but she should focus on her current relationship unless she finds out her ex wants her back.

What personal experience does Jess Hilarious share about going back to an ex?

Jess went back to an ex named Rome, but he cheated on her shortly after, which she regrets.

What advice does Taylor give about the narrator's situation?

Taylor advises the narrator to see where her ex is at and then decide if it's worth leaving her current relationship, which she feels is happy and fulfilling.

What does Jess Hilarious think about the narrator's current relationship?

Jess believes the narrator's current relationship is fulfilling and that she should not jeopardize it unless there is a clear reason to.

Shownotes Transcript

Translations:
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We want to speak out and we want this to stop. Wow, very powerful. I'm Ellie Flynn, an investigative journalist, and this is my journey deep into the adult entertainment industry. I really wanted to be a player boy in my adult. He was like, I'll take you to the top, I'll make you a star. To expose an alleged predator and the rotten industry he works in. It's honestly so much worse than I had anticipated. We're an army in comparison to him.

Welcome to Carefully Reckless, a production of iHeartRadio and The Black Effect. ♪♪♪

And just like that, we're back with yet another Catholic Reckless episode with your girl Jess Hilarious. So what I'll be doing, I'll be fixing mess. So we're going to jump straight into it. I'm here with my girl Taylor. Say hey, Tay. Hey. And she's not going to be reading. We're going to give her a little break, but she's definitely going to help me with some insight on this mess. Give y'all some insight on this mess, y'all. Here we go. Good morning, Jess. Hope all is going well. And I continue to wish you nothing but blessings. Let's dive in. I'm going to be talking about

I was together with my ex for about two years. We met our senior year in college and instantly became inseparable. Things were so perfect at the time and I just knew he was the perfect man for me. We made investments together like buying land. Okay.

to build our own house. And we even shared a fur baby. What's that? A pet. Oh my God. Okay, that's nice. Okay. I was so for sure knew I was going to marry this man. Oh yeah, this nigga got you talking crazy because that was the craziest sentence listening. I was so for sure knew I was going to marry this man. Baby, she meant that. I was so for sure knew. Ha ha ha ha.

All right. Now, a little later down the road, things begin to unravel. We started arguing about the dumbest things, stopped going on dates, and it even got so bad we had to give away our fur baby. Damn. We just grew apart and wanted different things. So we decided to call it quits, which affected us both pretty deep.

This was all four years ago, right? Now I'm engaged and not to a man, but a woman now. Okay. Congratulations for crossing over. She'd been showing me everything I've been missing. And Jess, things are just so different and refreshing. I really feel I found my soulmate.

So here's the hiccup though. The other day I ran into the ex at a dealership. I haven't saw him since we decided to split. So it was kind of weird at first girl. When this man noticed it was me, his eyes got big as fuck and he started to walk over and gave me the tightest hug and asked how I've been. I wasn't expecting that because shit, I wasn't about to hug him back, but all right, I guess. LOL. Girl, you hugged that nigga the fuck like, and it better not have been no Megan Good, uh,

Michael Ealy moment to me. It better not lift you off your motherfucking feet and spin you around. Anyways, we were chit-chatting, catching up for about 30 minutes while waiting for service. I know 30 minutes is like forever until one of us got help. It was a cool, genuine conversation and he even congratulated me on my engagement. Conversation came to an end. We both said it was good running into each other and gave each other another big heart.

You made another big hug. I know this may sound wrong, but ever since that happened, I've been sort of thinking about him. Yeah, I already knew you're trying to act like you ain't want to hug him. Bitch, you already know what's up. I know you want that dick. It's like, no, I'm fucking with you because you are happy right now.

I would never do anything to jeopardize my relationship, but thoughts do come to mind. Like, what if we did make it? Or what if we worked out and just tried again? Oh, man. I know this sounds terrible, and I don't even know why I'm thinking like this, because I love my fiance, Jess. I swear I do. I ain't the one you gotta convince, baby.

I really want to get him out of my mind. And I don't know how you think time will pass. Well, time definitely won't pass. See, y'all not asking the right questions because she said, you think time will pass? The time will always pass. Yeah, but but I think like she's trying to ask me, do you think it'll get better with time where I just won't think about him anymore? Eventually. OK, or this may mean something else. Silly thinking. Just help me. OK.

See, this is dealing with matters of defense. I feel like she turns into a lesbian relationship. But you know what that dick do. But you know what? You know what? This is the thing. Because let's just take it all the way back. Is he the reason you went gay? Why did you decide to turn to women? Maybe she was always bi, though. Maybe. Okay. Yeah. She didn't state that. But yeah. You know what? That's my question also to women who can just like...

break gay out the gate. Like, where you always having these feelings of women, for women, you just didn't know how to convey them or express them or you didn't know what it was. Because a lot of people be gay and don't even realize what it is. And so they get older, you know what I'm saying? So, I don't know if she was bisexual or not. However,

I know a lot of women like to try something totally different, try the opposite sex because of a really bad breakup or because one guy hurt them so badly that they can't give another guy a chance. That's crazy. Yeah. And that's what it sounds like here. Because if all it took was for you to see him again four years later and you start having butterflies, because I know what that description is. Now, she did not say butterflies, but baby, that's exactly what she meant. Like,

butterflies came to, you know, she got aroused, she got excited, that nigga hugged her, he was probably smelling like, you know, some Gucci or some, what is it? What's one of them? Colognes. He was probably smelling like Creed or Gucci or something like that and your ass got all, you know, all bashful again and you just took a trip down memory lane. Now, I know you, I'm not saying you don't love

Your fiance. Not saying that. However, it just seems like unfinished business with this man. They just broke up because they were just not. Yeah. She said, I was together with my ex for about two years. We met our senior year in college and instantly became inseparable. Those things were so perfect at that time. And I just knew he, remember she said, I just knew he was the one for sure. She said, I was so for sure knew I was going to marry this man. So if you got to that point with him,

You know what I mean? She probably has also maybe fear too because she's engaged. So her saying that she thought she was going to marry him. So now it's like, oh shit. Because how many people do you get that feeling about? How many people in your life actually, like how many relationships do you actually go through in life where you actually feel that way? Like, no, I'm going to marry this man or I'm going to marry this woman. You know what I'm saying? I,

I've never had that until me being with Chris now. I'm going to be completely honest with you. Yeah, when I was with like, when I was with Wayne. And listen, I remember, I recall people ask me, what's the best relationship you've been in? And I used to say Wayne. But I was saying Wayne for all the wrong reasons. I got tired of taking care of niggas and actually just being the breadwinner and always having to pay for everything. And when Wayne came along and he was doing all those things for me, I fell for that more so than falling for him. I just loved...

taking care of and being splurged on and being able to say, oh, I want this and I get it or I'll get it without even asking. Now, Chris is all that and more for me. You know, it's actually a partnership now, you know, because the problem with Wayne is Wayne was always in competition with me. Really good guy, good friend, you know what I'm saying? Like, but I

I always say this and I'll say it again. We would have made great friends and great business partners, but not a couple. You get what I'm saying? But yeah, like I actually, this is the first time that I actually felt like I want to spend the rest of my life with the person that I'm with now. You know what I'm saying? So to her story, you only feel like that a few, like maybe once or twice about a person, you know what I mean? Like, well, how,

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I'm Ellie Flynn and I'm an investigative journalist. When a group of models from the UK wanted my help, I went on a journey deep into the heart of the adult entertainment industry. I really wanted to be a playboy model. Lingerie, topless. I said, yes, please. Because at the centre of this murky world is an alleged predator.

You know who he is because of his pattern of behavior. He's just spinning the web for you to get trapped in it. He's everywhere and has been everywhere. It's so much worse and so much more widespread than I had anticipated. Together, we're going to expose him and the rotten industry he works in. It's not just me. We're an army in comparison to him. Listen to The Bunny Trap on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

Make sure you check it out.

Hey, y'all. Niminy here. I'm the host of a brand new history podcast for kids and families called Historical Records. Historical Records brings history to life through hip hop.

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All right. The first relationship was two years. She said she met her. Let me say, let me say anyways, we're chatting it up. Okay. Okay. She's showing me. So, so she said this was all four years ago. Right now I'm engaged. She doesn't even really give me any context about her goddamn fiance. Now it's just, she's been showing me everything I've been missing and just things are just so different and refreshing. Yeah. Yeah. She said she really felt like she found her soulmate. Okay. Yeah.

Cool. And she really didn't give us a reason why she broke up with the boyfriend. She just said now a little later down the line, things begin to unravel. We started arguing about the dumbest things, stopped going on dates and it even got so bad we had to give away our fur baby.

We know y'all ain't white because ain't nobody white given that we ain't no goddamn dolls. Y'all just going to co-parent the best way y'all can shit. But yeah, I mean, so I don't know. She said they just grew apart and wanted different things. So they decided to call it quits. So that was a mutual breakup. I think she went down memory lane. Yeah. Because any other time you probably wasn't thinking about him. So that's really what matters. If you were thinking about him throughout the four years and even into this new relationship, then that's different. But like...

you don't really think as much there because it was just a moment. Yeah. Mm-hmm.

If I see an ex from four years ago today, I'm not going to have that same feelings. I'm not. I'm not. That's the thing. It just still seems like it's a little bit more there. Not saying that she been doubling back or checking on him throughout those four years or anything like that, like they've been talking or anything. I think that it all came back when she saw him and the fact that he was probably still supportive of her new relationship or whatever, because she did say he even said he even congratulated me on what I'm, you know, my engagement now.

and there was no beef no bad blood like he just hugged her and he didn't probably yeah that'd be fucked up if he got wife and she's sitting at home thinking about leaving her fucking fiance for him again and he like oh no bitch I'm alright that's why I was happy to see you cause it's like oh you know we both moved on we both doing well or what if he gay oh my god bitch the fucking possibilities

he's fucking it up but girl alright so who's the question does she think that those feelings are gonna last and I don't think they should unless you keep harping on it yeah just hope well she coming to me to ask me for my help this is a little lie you actually writing me about this yeah this been on your mind

This has been on your mind. And then I don't know when she wrote this to me. I think I got this story like two weeks ago. I don't know how. Nothing against, you know, lesbian relationships. But if you had a dick before, you know what the fuck is given. Especially when you, you know, when you ride, you know, there's only so much you can do to a little dildo. Yeah. So I don't know. But yeah.

I think, honestly, before you actually sit down and have a conversation with your fiancé, because that's just what it's going to have to come down to. Why? Because she missed her ex. I don't know, because if she, like I said, if she wasn't thinking about him before. Yeah.

Just seeing him today. Maybe just maybe something's going on with her relationship with her fiance. Right. Right. It's like a little rocky a little bit in the first sign of, you know, somebody else that she see or whatever. Because people do overthink things and it could be a situation where she's like just really overthinking. Yeah. I'm not sure. I don't know. But I feel like it's more than that because I do want to know what that period of time was like.

Between when she saw him and her writing me. Because if that was like, what if that was like a week? What if that's two? You've been thinking about this nigga for two weeks and you're writing somebody about him? Right. So that's why I say you're going to have to sit down. You don't think it's worth to even bring up to the fiance because then that's going to bring up insecurities. I think things happen. I mean, you can even take, I guess, she could probably take she seeing him again as a sign. But I don't think so. I think...

Move on with your next relationship. Yeah, definitely just move on. Okay. Well, Taylor, I think you should just move on. Just do not even bring it up to your fiance. I think you should see what his situation is before making your decision. It just seems like she's stuck. She's stuck. Maybe she's rethinking things. Yeah.

I don't know. But it definitely seemed like she stuck. I think you should figure out where he at. Like what he's doing. And did he even give you any type of signage?

is like, damn, I want you back. Or, you know what I'm saying? Because he, like we said, he could just be so fucking happy because he also moved on and there's no bad blood. It ain't nothing like being like friends with your ex being cool. Like, that's how me and Rome are. Like, we're cool. Now, mind you, he's the only ex that I actually would still call. Do you think if you guys didn't have a child together that it would still be like that, though? Me and Rome? Yeah. Hell no. Damn. I've been actually... No, no. I actually don't think so because...

Even on Rome's side, I think if I never had his child, Rome wouldn't respect me. Rome is not that guy who totally respects women. It's something about his mom dying at such a young age and him not being able to figure that out, figure out why she left him or, you know,

It's still that little boy inside of him that didn't that, you know, that didn't grow up past 10 because he lost his mom at such a young age and she was his primary parent. Like, that's who he ate with, slept with, breathed with, shit with. So, I mean, his dad was he was there, but he wasn't. I think that plays a lot on how Rome is with women and like every other baby mother.

I'm Rome favorite baby mother. Like I'm Rome best friend. Not even just saying baby mother. Like I'm Rome's confidant. I'm his mentor. That's my guy. Like we like best friends. You know what I'm saying? And I don't think our relationship would be like that.

Or our friendship would be like that if it wasn't for our son. Because we had to change up the way that we did everything for our son. So Rome wouldn't really have any motivation to respect me if it wasn't for our son. That's how I feel. And that actually goes deeper. But that's another conversation for another day because baby daddies be tripping. Now we got a commercial. And if you click off this podcast, I swear I'm going to beat your ass. Listen.

The holidays are about spending time with your loved ones and creating magical memories that will last a lifetime. So whether it's family and friends you haven't seen in a while, or those who you see all the time, share holiday magic this season with an ice cold Coca-Cola. Copyright 2024, The Coca-Cola Company. We want to speak out, we want to raise awareness, and we want this to stop. Wow, very powerful.

I'm Ellie Flynn and I'm an investigative journalist. When a group of models from the UK wanted my help, I went on a journey deep into the heart of the adult entertainment industry. I really wanted to be a playboy model. Lingerie, topless. I said, yes, please. Because at the centre of this murky world is an alleged predator.

You know who he is because of his pattern of behavior. He's just spinning the web for you to get trapped in it. He's everywhere and has been everywhere. It's so much worse and so much more widespread than I had anticipated. Together, we're going to expose him and the rotten industry he works in. It's not just me. We're an army in comparison to him. Listen to The Bunny Trap on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

Make sure you check it out.

Hey, y'all. Niminy here. I'm the host of a brand new history podcast for kids and families called Historical Records. Historical Records brings history to life through hip hop.

Each episode is about a different inspiring figure from history. Like this one about Claudette Colvin, a 15-year-old girl in Alabama who refused to give up her seat on the city bus nine whole months before Rosa Parks did the same thing. Check it. Did you know, did you know?

Get the kids in your life excited about history by tuning in to Historical Records. Because in order to make history, you have to make some noise. Listen to Historical Records on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

Hey everyone, it's John, also known as Dr. John Paul. And I'm Jordan, or Joe Ho. And we are the Black Fat Femme Podcast. A podcast where all the intersections of identity are celebrated. Ooh, chat, this year we have had some of our favorite people on, including Kid Fury, T.S. Madison, Amber Ruffin from the Amber and Lacey Show, Angelica Ross, and more.

Make sure you listen to the Black Fat Femme Podcast on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts, girl. Ooh, I know that's right.

While this podcast might be keeping you from being distracted, here's something to level up your focus. I'm Amantha Imber, host of the podcast How I Work. It's a show where I interview some of the world's most successful people and uncover how exactly they construct their days. From how to combat a scrolling addiction to morning rituals and productivity hacks, we explore how some of the best stay disciplined and manage their time effectively.

Where ambition meets inspiration, search for How I Work on the free iHeart app or in whatever podcast app you're listening to.

Yeah, I think you should see where your ex is at, see where his head is at. And then you come back and you update me. But as far as you just jumping out there telling your fiance, I think after you figure out where your ex's head is at, even if you want to, I mean, because you might want to explore that, you know, it's unfinished business, obviously, after you figure that out.

then you have to figure out if it's worth leaving something that makes you so happy right now. Because they didn't break up bad. Nobody cheated. I mean, unless you're just leaving that part out. Y'all, you left some meat off the bones. I mean, I don't know. Four years ago, y'all got some growth in. Four years ago. I'm just still on that. I don't think it's worth it. The only reason why is it's from my own personal experience. I don't think, I think, let things be where they were.

Have you ever been in a situation like this? Not necessarily like that, but like where there was a guy that like was always a what if. Like that was like my best friend at the end of the day. And then we, but then now come to find out he was playing me the entire time in a sense. Like he was like one of them guys that kind of just said things to make a woman feel good. Not realizing that he was saying that. Yeah, he was absolutely. So once I figured that out,

Like, we tried to give it a chance and I started seeing certain flaws with him and just seeing how he's been trying to manipulate. And plus, his girl called me and we had a nice conversation. Oh, wow. Yeah. So he was your friend or he was somebody that was talking that you were talking to? Yeah. Like, he was, at the end of the day, he was my friend first.

So for him to lie to me and everything else like that, it was crazy to me. That messes up the foundation of the friendship. Like, we can never go back to that because you lied to me. Friends don't need to lie to me. You can't be real with me. We ain't even together yet. Yeah. So he could go to hell. Yeah. Okay. Damn. You putting him there? No, dead ass. Like, one time...

don't like once you cross cause he was something like I really like confined in it and stuff like that so once you cross like you cross that and you play with my trust so you dead to me for real yeah okay yeah I mean they don't have that situation I'm just saying even still I just feel like

Let past stuff kind of. I don't know. Yeah. Leave it alone. Yeah. Cause scenario scenario, she could go back to this man and then the same shit could happen. And then now you just let the love of your life walk out of your life because you, yeah, I've done that. Yes. I've done that. And I actually did that with Rome. I remember Ash was about two years old and, um, no, he was one, one year old. And I, I was with somebody else. No, I think Ash was two, one or two. And I was with somebody else and Rome, um,

was calling me telling me he wanted his family back and I wanted my family when I was younger that's just what you want you know you want your child to be in the same household or just to know their mom and dad to be together because that's the household I grew up in my mom my dad was together and shit um I broke up with the nigga because Rome had confessed to me that he wasn't ever going to do it no more he confessed everything that he did and everything and I'm sorry you know I want my family and I was a little boy and we were still fucking 21 22 at the time but I fell for that shit um

being young and that nigga cheated on me not even 24 hours after I got back with him after leaving somebody who was great for me great for Ashton and he was the older guy too older guy like he just he didn't have no kids he wasn't married before like this was like a great like a create player type nigga

Like, if you could make your nigga, that was the one. I would kill them. He worked out and everything, like, girl, and then roam, he go roam and shit. No, I, you know, I just want my family. I went back, that nigga cheated on me. Then, why the fuck my dumb ass try to run back to the guy like, you know what, psych? He was like, oh no, bitch, I ain't fucking with you. Fuck.

Fuck that. I ain't fucking with you. Take your little clown ass and make me fall over. Yeah, I went over there like, it was a pranky. Like, bitch, I... No. To this day, girl. To this day. But now, he's selling drugs, he in jail and all that type of shit. So, fucked up his life. That guy. That guy. So, that's what he get for not taking me back. The fuck? Sorry. What the fuck wrong with you, nigga? You could have had a life. You could have been with me now, but...

Because I left you for my baby for over for one 24 hour period. Oh, now you alone. That's on you. Now look. All right. We've come to the end of yet another carefully reckless episode with your girl, Jess Hilarious. I'm here with my girl, Taylor. Say thank you, Taylor. Don't say nothing, Taylor. The listeners say thank you, Taylor. There we go. Okay. And now you say you're welcome. You're welcome. All right. And we see y'all next week. Peace.

Carefully Reckless is a production of iHeartRadio and The Black Effect. For more podcasts from iHeartRadio, visit the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you listen to your favorite shows.

We want to speak out and we want this to stop. Wow, very powerful. I'm Ellie Flynn, an investigative journalist, and this is my journey deep into the adult entertainment industry. I really wanted to be a player boy in my adult. He was like, I'll take you to the top, I'll make you a star. To expose an alleged predator and the rotten industry he works in. It's honestly so much worse than I had anticipated. We're an army in comparison to him.

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Get the kids in your life excited about history by tuning in to Historical Records. Because in order to make history, to make some noise. Listen to Historical Records on the iHeartRadio app casts or wherever you get your podcasts.

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