My Baby's Lazy
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She needs someone who's going to fight for her. If we don't follow the right plan, we lose. The hit series Reasonable Doubt, now streaming on Hulu. She was defending herself against a monster. Starring Emma Yatze Coronaldi. I'm the best lawyer you have ever worked with. And Morris Chestnut. I'm not gonna stop. I think I love it, love it. Never underestimate.

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Oh shit, we on the air. Welcome back to yet another Carefully Reckless episode with your girl Jess Hilarious. And what I be doing, I be fixing mess. Not only here on the Carefully Reckless podcast on the Black Effect Network under our heart, I be doing that shit on Breakfast Club each and every Thursday. Well, it alternates between Wednesdays and Thursdays or whatever, but

That's what I be doing, y'all. So we're going to jump straight into it. And I'm so excited. Guess what, y'all? Guess what? Guess what? Guess what? Because we have a fucking voice memo. Thank you. So we're just going to jump straight into it. Here we go. What's up, Jess? I don't think I've ever heard a guy come on here. But maybe I'll be the first. Please bear with me. I do have my son in the car. Okay. You're not the first guy. So I've been with my significant other for probably a little bit over three years.

We just had our second child a week ago. And I would say within these last two years, I have been having issues with her not wanting to grow and just help me push forth in my business. And it just helped me just be that woman for me, if that makes any sense. So when we had our first child, I

You know, gave her the option to go to work or stay home. And she decided to stay home. And that's how I like it. And I feel like, you know, I feel like all black men should have their significant other. Stay home and take care of the household while we're out doing the hard work. I'm actually just trying to build and grow my business. And just make sure that my family never have to go to work.

And I would say one of the things that really bothers me is, hey, we're almost home, buddy. Aww. She does not put forth any effort to show that she values me as a man while I'm out here going to work for difficult people, if you know what I mean. It's just that a black man working out in America is just tough on the general public. I'm sacrificing that, so she ain't got to deal with it. And I don't. My kid, my boy, is on it.

So while I'm putting forth my hard work, working overtime every day, putting in work on Saturdays, then coming home and working an extra three to four hours on my own personal business that I've been working on for the last four years or so.

I need her to ask me, step up and, and, and hold it down at the house. And she has not been doing that. Like literally for the last three years of our relationship, she has literally not done anything. And I said, rules like, Hey, if you're going to be a stay at home mom, you want to homeschool our kids. Let's start working on a curriculum for them, you know, because I don't agree with the public school system. I feel like young black men should be taught differently. I totally get it. And, um,

Mm-hmm.

By no means, I am not going to break up with her. I cannot destroy my family like that. I got two boys that need to be in a two-parent household. That's extremely people because I didn't have that, and it affected me a lot. But when you're dealing with somebody who don't respect growth and developing themselves as a person in general, it really bothers me. You got a lot of people who are just...

Okay. We're just going to work. And just looking forward to the weekend. And I'm not like that. I'm grinding. And I need my partner to know. Like hey. I need you to grind with me. One quick example. With my business. You know. I'm probably projected to make.

an extra $30,000 to $50,000 in my small business this year, but I'm doing everything by myself. Like, I have to answer all the emails. I have to talk to the people that I hired to work for me to do some software stuff and engineering type stuff. I got to do all that, and it would really...

suit me to have her handle those emails and have her contact those or even have her do some social media stuff for me but it's literally like she doesn't really value it and like sexually I love it if I love having sex with her but for me to boost my

with her. It's just like I need some type of intellect between us to be formed because it just doesn't really drive me to want to be so romantic when I have somebody who won't even care about growth. And I would say we are in therapy right now, but I don't really see therapy working when I have already communicated to her like, hey, look, look, I need you. Like, it's tough out here, man, and I need you to

You know, I need you to pick up that second half of me while I'm at work. And I do understand we got kids. She's a stay-at-home mom, but imagine if she had to go to work, it would be a lot different. My question to you is, like, how do I get her to understand the value that she brings to me as, for one, being at home taking care of our kids?

Having the freedom not to go to work every day and deal with the bullshit I deal with. You know, like, how do I get that through her? Because, like, I have already maxed out in my life. I bought my second house when I was 29 years old. I make good money. You know, I got my family.

you know, it's just the thing that's lacking is that woman, man. Like, I need her to pick up and be that rock for me, man. Like, I literally do so much to the point to where it's like, it's draining the hell out of me to the point to where I'm like, man,

Like a lot of men go through this kind of shit and they end up getting a side piece or something like that. Hey, we home, buddy. Let's go in and eat. No. They end up getting a side chicken. I ain't trying to do that, man. No. I like my girls, so just help me out, man. But I like what you're doing on The Breakfast Club, man. Keep up the good work. You're doing great. Your reading is getting a lot better, too, by the way. A whole lot. Thanks.

First of all, you know what? I'm going to come back to that. All right. I'm going to come back to that. Hold up. Hold up. I know this shit getting good, but listen to just a couple seconds of a commercial. If you love me, you'll listen. Here's a little secret. Most smartphone deals aren't that exciting. To be honest, they're barely worth mentioning. But then there's AT&T and their best deals. Those are quite exciting. They're the kind of deals that are worth talking about. Like their deal on the Samsung Galaxy Z Flip 6.

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But no, I just couldn't get past your baby in the back. You know, even though I have... I'm pregnant right now already. That just gave me baby fever again. Babies just give me baby fever, period. Pregnant or not, honey, I just...

Oh my God, I love this. Baby is like, nigga, I'm hungry. You want to be talking to this stranger about my mom? Nigga, come on, get me out this car. All right, anyway, all right, let's get to that. And then secondly, thank you so much. I appreciate you and the fact that you complimented my reading or whatever, which is why I'm glad that you sent in the voice note, nigga. So I wouldn't have to read your shit because that was long. But let's jump into it. So obviously either you two are from...

totally different walks of life. Y'all were bought up differently. You care about things that... At 29, like you said, you was already buying your second property. You know what I'm saying? As opposed to the average 29-year-old ain't thinking about that. You get what I'm saying? Or just another 29-year-old could be thinking about...

Would she going to wake up and post on social media tomorrow? You know, it's just it's different walks of life, different paths, different mindsets, different thinking. OK, now you let this go on for three years. You told me three years. I'm just quoting you. That's why I also like when y'all send voice notes in because I can challenge what you said. Three years you let this go on.

OK, now I know you said you've talked to her and everything. I want to just give you a couple things that it could be if it ain't the different worlds. OK, she just had a baby. That baby sounds fairly young. I think you said he's a couple months or no, you said she just had a baby a week ago, something like that. I know you just said that y'all have a newborn, of course, a small infant child. Have you ever thought about maybe she is having post-traumatic stress?

Have you thought about like maybe she is miserable in her own right? Maybe she wants to do something else so badly with her life. Maybe she doesn't want to be a stay at home mom just because that's the mold that you want her to fit. Maybe because that's what you see for her. Have you ever thought that maybe she had dreams, but she put them aside to have your two babies? You get what I'm saying? Have you thought about that?

The fact that what's running through her mind when you are out there and those two babies are that she's not getting proper sleep. Have you thought about that? Now, these are not excuses. These are facts. And this could very well be what's going on with her. I just want to tell you don't. And I know you're not discrediting her. And I know that you feel that you have given her grace, but have you?

You got to think about that. Have you given her grace? All right. Until you are able to have a baby and then have another one. And then you want me to cook and clean and still, you know. Now, listen, it's been done. I'm not sitting here telling you that it is not possible because, baby, it is possible. It's possible. Black women do it every day. White women do it every day. Hispanic women do all other. Women do it every day. I'm not here to narrow it down to race, but I'm just saying women do it every day.

Okay. So it is not impossible, but everybody is different. Their mindsets are different. Okay.

Everybody is not strong after birth mentally. You get what I'm saying? And then you say you brought up the thing of, okay, we can do therapy, but I feel like me talking to her should be enough. Should be because you're in the house. You have a biased opinion. You know, you're in it. Maybe y'all do need a professional. Okay. I understand, brother. I just want to say congratulations on you being that strong black man for your family.

All right. You building an empire and you wanting to take care of your family because it's not there are many brothers like you, but we need more. You get what I'm saying? I do understand. I understand. But I also need you to understand the other side of it as well. And that's her side. You come home to a dirty house. You feel, yo, she could very well be depressed as fuck right now.

You know, the baby's crying and then, you know, sometimes you got to come home and cook. Let's compromise. Okay, baby, piece a day can be Thursdays and Fridays. You don't got to cook Monday through Friday. I'll give you that. Check in with her. How was your day, baby? Why is the house dirty? Is it something that I, you know...

It's something that was bothering you today. How's your mental? How are you feeling? Come here, sit down. Let the baby cry for a second. There's nothing wrong with a baby crying. They strengthening them lungs, I'm telling you. All right? So nothing wrong with a baby crying for a little minute. Y'all go sit in a room somewhere. What happened? Why is the house dirty? Furthermore, before we get to the house being dirty, listen, how's your mental? How are you feeling? Let me come inside of your world.

Before I just come home and be angry with you and not want to give you no sex or I don't feel like I'm sexually attracted to you because, you know, I feel like you're lazy. Let me figure out why.

I feel like you're lazy. Let's figure out why you are changing or whatever. You said it's been three years, sir. Why haven't y'all gotten therapy if this shit has not changed? Like you said, you mentioned therapy. Y'all gonna need that because you ain't the therapist here, you know, because you have a biased opinion and you're already kind of...

You're already frustrated with it. So if she's frustrated and you're frustrated, that's all it's going to be. It's just boom, knocking heads, knocking heads. You know what I'm saying? Instead of knocking the boots, y'all need to get back to y'all, y'all, y'all sexual spice. Y'all need to be able to put them babies down. She needs a schedule. She needs a schedule. She needs to prioritize certain things, but you have to get through to her mental first, make sure she's mentally okay. And not just being lazy because we can always mistake what we think.

somebody is going through for some shit that they're actually really going through. You get me? I hope you get me. All right.

Now, I absolutely applaud you for putting me in your business because you did not you absolutely did not have to do this. But I'm happy. And no, you're not the first man to come on and actually ask for my advice on an issue. And thank you for being so open and vulnerable. You know, most of our black men do not feel comfortable, you know, and because you came to me with the situation. I know that you will be down for therapy. I know you got to get inside your woman's brain, babe.

You have to. We hurt just like y'all hurt. You are a black man. You are a black man, which means, yeah, it is a lot harder for you in this world, whatever industry you in, whatever workforce you're in, than other races, of course. You get me? You get what I'm saying? But at the same time, it's hard for us too. All right?

To be the boar of the house, you know, and we bear everything. You get what I'm saying? If you love me, you'll listen to this commercial and then we'll be right back. Hibernation season is over and it's time to get some sun outside. Gather your crew and hit the road in the spacious 2024 Nissan Pathfinder. Your getaway to larger than life adventures with spacious seating for eight and available panoramic moonroof.

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That beautiful woman of yours probably don't feel beautiful no more. You understand what I'm saying? So you have to meet her on those levels and you already working hard. You are. I'm applauding both of you. I want it to be that communication where y'all take, I don't even want to call it the ego and pride. Take all the hardness away. Take the defense away. Try not to offend her so much. Give her grace in the conversation.

Babe, look.

What's wrong? We need to see a professional. Let's do it. You know, maybe you should take and I don't know how your finances are set up. Maybe you should take maybe one week or even four days off of work, three, four days off work and live in her world and see. Watch her everyday pattern. I'm not going to put cameras in the house because what the fuck? You ain't spying on your girl. I don't know if you said your wife or your girl. You're not spying on her. You want to have a day in the life of her first. You're not home with them babies all day.

Not all day. All right, you got to come home and cook dinner. Compromise that. Compromise. You know, until she gets on the schedule. Then you said you also have a small business that allows you to make maybe $30,000 to $50,000 extra. I applaud you for that too, Black man. Yes, I do. Yes, I do. But listen to me.

Maybe she does need something to do. You know, maybe that can give her some motivation. All right, shit, if I feel like I'm working, I'm doing something. Maybe if I didn't pay her a little something, go get it. And, you know, so she go get her nails and her toes done and feel good while she's mommying all day. You know, while she's wifing all day. These are wifely duties. You understand? That shit ain't easy. And I'm not a wife yet, but I know plenty. I know many. I'm a daughter of one.

Listen, I know, I know what it takes, you know? I'm not a man, but I'm a daughter of a man who was married to my mom for decades, all right? Three-a, over three-a.

So I know that's not hard. And I know that it sucks like hell for a man to feel like he cannot provide for his family. So that's where your mindset is. And I love that for you. But I want you to give her the grace in a conversation to make her feel safe enough to tell you, baby, I don't feel I don't know. I don't know what it is. Maybe she don't even know how to communicate that.

You know, because you always come home on 10. You know, I'm not saying you trying to knock her head off. Don't get don't get that mixed up. The listeners either. I'm not I'm not saying that he's coming home violently, verbally attacking her and shit. No, no, no, no, no. But she's very fragile. She just had another baby.

She's very fragile. Treat her that way. All right. I'm not saying coddle her and and and make excuses and all of that. But you still have to understand we're very fragile when we give birth and PTSD. I think I think that's it. That is very real. That is very real.

I just saw a video the other day of a woman screaming to the top of her lungs at her baby in her baby's face. I hate you. I hate you. The baby was crying. What was the husband doing? Recording his wife doing that shit instead of removing the baby.

Removing the fucking baby from the room. And then when he posted it, he captioned it. My wife has PTSD. I mean, she has post-traumatic disorder. She's not been well. So why the fuck are you recording her, posting her, putting her on the internet? Embarrassing her. Probably not in a fucking right mind. She was a home mom as well. A stay-at-home mom as well. I totally agree that you don't even want your kids to be in school. Is she the one to teach them a curriculum? This is what we got to also understand.

All right. Is she the one to do that? Or would you recommend that you guys get what? Like a nanny tutor or something? Somebody to help her. Somebody to be there with her. That she have friends. That she have somebody that she can talk to. She just probably needs to open up to somebody. She probably feels suffocated. You understand what I'm saying?

How old is she? Like, give me a little bit more feedback on it. Like I said, I'm not beating you up. I'm not beating you down, brother. I actually really do love that you came to me with this story. All right. This is the first time I've actually gotten a story like this. It's very relatable and it's very real. I just want you to understand, like, I understand that you need her, but she needs you too. You understand what I'm saying? She needs you and the babies need y'all.

So y'all got to make sure y'all straight for these babies. You know, I know you don't want to leave her. I can tell you love her. I can tell you hold her to a higher standard. I can tell. No, you don't need no motherfucking side piece, honey. Because before you know it, you're going to have to take care of that one too. Don't play with it. All right.

Because what you're doing for your wife, the side piece is going to look up. And then, you know, your girl, main girl, side piece is going to look up like, oh, well, he can take care of me. No, bitch, keep it moving. He got two children. He got a home to fix right now. So, no, side pieces ain't never the way to go unless you motherfucking leave her. And you ain't trying to do that because you told me. So I want you to take into consideration that.

that we need y'all too. We do. And I know it feels like you're fighting the world, that you got a lot going on already. I know what it feel like. I know, I know, I know. But you can be her rock. Look, that's what partners do. You need me to hold this motherfucking house down. I need you to lift me up and get to what's wrong with me. You got to live in her world too, boo. Like I said, take them two days off. You can probably take one day off and see what the fuck she go through. All right? You know, now if she is just lazy,

I don't know. You know, sometimes you got to make a motherfucker get a job. You know? Yeah, get on out there. Get on out there. I don't know if y'all have active parents or, you know, family support. All right, take them babies to mommy. Pay her a couple dollars or whatever. You know what I'm saying? You go get a job and see how it is out here. That's if she is lazy, but you don't know. We don't know. So, look.

Figure it out. Try your best to figure it out. I know you're tired, but she probably is too. All right. Um,

I love you. Shit, I love her too. Make sure you check back in with me. I'm glad that you sent me this story. And just like that, that took up the whole episode, but that was a good goddamn story, y'all. All right, good. I'm going to keep on working on my reading for this brother. Make sure you get your tickets if you have not yet for the second annual Black Effect Podcast Festival where I will be fixing mess on stage live. Again, like I said before, I will be pulling people away.

unprompted, unprovoked out of the audience to fix your mess on the spot. That's how I do it best. Get your tickets if you have not yet. VIP is sold out and you can also pitch a podcast. First come, first serve. It will be a table there or a vendor, something. It'll be something there where y'all can pitch a podcast or whatever. Last year, the line was wrapped around the goddamn venue.

And this year, we expect for it to sell out just like last year, y'all. We'll also be hosted by my sister, Pretty V, and my brother, B-Dot. Make sure you get your tickets and stay tuned each and every Wednesday for Cafferly Reckless Podcast. And in my deepest pan voice, peace. ♪♪♪

Carefully Reckless is a production of iHeartRadio and The Black Effect. For more podcasts from iHeartRadio, visit the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you listen to your favorite shows. I'm a good lawyer and I want to win. I think I killed GT.

She needs someone who's going to fight for her. If we don't follow the right plan, we lose. The hit series Reasonable Doubt, now streaming on Hulu. She was defending herself against a monster. Starring Emma Yatze-Coronaldi. I'm the best lawyer you have ever worked with. And Morris Chestnut. I'm not gonna stop.

I think I love it, love it. Never underestimate the power of attorney. Always bet on tax. Reasonable Doubt. New episodes Thursdays. Streaming only on Hulu. Gear up for outdoor adventures with the 2024 Nissan Pathfinder. This midsize SUV is designed for epic journeys, offering spacious seating for eight, available panoramic moonroof, and an available intelligent four-wheel drive feature with seven drive modes to take your off-road experience to new heights.

Discover the 2024 Nissan Pathfinder at NissanUSA.com. Intelligent all-wheel drive cannot prevent collisions or provide enhanced traction in all conditions. Always monitor traffic and weather conditions. Towing capacity varies by configuration. See Nissan Towing Guide and Owner's Manual for additional information. Always secure cargo.

Most deals are barely worth mentioning. But then there's AT&T's best deal on the new Samsung Galaxy Z Flip 6. You can get it on them when you trade in your eligible smartphone. Any year, any condition. It's a deal so good, you'll be shouting from the rooftops.

So grab a ladder and learn how to get that new phone on AT&T. AT&T. Connecting changes everything. Requires trading of Galaxy S, Note, or Z series smartphone. Limited time offer. 256 gigabytes for $0. Additional fees, terms, and restrictions apply. See att.com slash Samsung or visit an AT&T store for details.

State Farm Insurance knows that understanding and investing in our cultural identity is paramount in protecting our future. We know what it's like to go from nothing to something, to wish that we had better financial literacy when we were younger. Luckily, State Farm is here to help. With funding programs like Project Ready, which is committed to education achievement and has already awarded over $11 million in scholarship offers to black and brown youth since 2021. State Farm believes that being better neighbors creates better communities.

Like a good neighbor, State Farm is there.

The fall is creeping up on us, but we don't have to give in just yet because summer doesn't stop in Myrtle Beach, South Carolina. You can still get out and enjoy 60 miles of beaches, eat in the South's newest foodie haven with over 2,000 restaurants, and have endless fun at hundreds of attractions. Hold on to that sweet summer feeling a little longer at the beach. Myrtle Beach, South Carolina. Plan your trip at visitmyrtlebeach.com. That's visitmyrtlebeach.com.