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She needs someone who's going to fight for her. If we don't follow the right plan, we lose. The hit series Reasonable Doubt, now streaming on Hulu. She was defending herself against a monster. Starring Emma Yatze-Coronalde. I'm the best lawyer you have ever worked with. And Morris Chestnut. I'm not gonna stop. I think I love it, love it. Never underestimate.
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And just like that, we back on the air. Welcome back to yet another Carefully Reckless episode with your girl, Just Hilarious. First off, I want to say happy holidays to all of my listeners. I love you guys so much. I'm happy that you guys were able to grow with me as I've transformed this podcast into a whole therapy session each and every week. I appreciate y'all. I want to tell y'all that every time I get the chance to, we're going to jump right in because around the holidays, people got more problems. So we just going to listen to some.
English is not my native language, so you will notice my accent. This is about my best friend of six years and more. I love her so much, but recently I've been feeling a type of way about our friendship.
We both live in Germany, different cities now for about four years or a little bit more, but we have a lot of history together. We see each other maybe three, four times a year, and I love her so much, but I've been noticing that our relationship only thrives once.
On misery, and particularly my misery. I feel more comfortable coming to her with bad news because she'll be there for me, and I know that she will. And she has been there for me so many times where nobody else could have helped me but her. And I appreciate her for that.
And I feel like when I am going through bad situations, I get the genuine type of her. Let's say I feel her closeness more than when I'm coming with good news. When I'm sharing good news or like good things that happened to me, I always kind of regret it afterwards. Do you know that feeling when you tell someone something good and they give you like a very disappointing reaction and you're like, why did I just tell you that?
This is exactly it. The last situation, I was going through some stuff with a guy that I was dating and I didn't like the way he treated her actually when we were going out for dinner. And after the dinner, I was venting to her that he was so disrespectful and that this is very important for me that he treats my friends good, you know, and respect my friends and
And I was just kind of venting and telling her like, this is definitely a no for me. And then I said, hey, sorry, I think I'm just ranting. And she said, I enjoy it. At that moment, I just felt like, what do you mean you're enjoying it? What are you enjoying? Me being disappointed at him or me being hurt or me telling you that I'm about to break up with this person or...
feeling so frustrated. Is that something to enjoy? I didn't say that, of course, but it just kind of clicked in my head like, okay,
I think something is off here and I kind of kept thinking about it. Now I've been distancing myself. We used to call every weekend. I am kind of letting that go a little bit for me to figure out exactly where I want to go with this. I definitely don't want to lose her.
We were planning to meet in December for the Christmas, but I kind of apologized and made other plans just because I feel like I'm not ready to face that. Or I feel like I'm in a good space right now and I don't want it to blow up, you know, or I don't want to I don't want to feel like I have to hide myself or like not tell about my life or keep the good things secret because I don't feel supported that way.
And I just want to say again, this is my best friend that I don't want to lose. And I just want to navigate through this. And my question to you is, what would you do if you were in my place? And have you ever been in a situation where you just did not want to lose the person, but you kind of feel like maybe they're not for this phase? You know what I mean? I chose to distance myself a little bit till I figured it out.
And I might figure it out and I might not. And I'm just, that's why I'm a little bit like, ah, I need help. What if I lose this person that I love so much just because I'm not able to face her and tell her, girl, I need you to be happy for me, please.
As much as you are there for me when I'm going through something bad, I want to be able to come to you with good news and not feel disappointed. Thank you, Jess, for your time, for your wisdom. I hope I hear an answer from you. But even if not, I just love you so much. And I'm so grateful for your journey. Honestly, I've been a big fan since a long time ago.
And I kind of feel inspired by all of the things that you went through and how you grew and everything. Anyways, love you so much and hope to hear from you. Okay. So, baby girl, you actually going to get some fixing of the mess by Jess today because...
I think that this friend, if I'm not wrong, and listeners, please write me and let me know if y'all think what I'm about to say is true about this friend that she is having all of this hoopla with.
It could either be two things. She is either one obsessed with you. Has she ever showed you feelings of attraction? Has she ever acted as if she was attracted to you? Has she ever acted as if she liked you a little bit more than a best friend? That could be happening. Not to say that she's officially gay or she's into women. She could literally just be only into you. That is so possible.
You know, it happened to me. I'm not gay and I don't think I ever was gay, but I was interested and attracted to this one particular female when I was younger. And I've never looked at any other women to be attracted to them or to be intimate with them since then or before her. You know, it was just only one woman that I have ever been infatuated with in my whole life. So that's why I say I'm not gay because, you know, obviously that thing is over and I never looked at another woman again in that sense. But...
Maybe she is just very possessive and obsessive with you. It could be either that or her life is just so...
shitty or not going the way that she wants it to go. So she thrives off of others' pain, off of others' misery. It's generally hard for those type of people to be genuinely happy for someone else's success or for someone else's victory or overcoming hardships in their lives or anything like that. You can't genuinely be happy for someone if you're not where you want to be and you let what you're going through make you an envious person. I think she envies
Anything that goes great for you if she's not a part of it. And then that could very well be both things. She could be obsessed or really in love with you and her life really isn't going the way that she would want it to go. I think you need to kind of distance yourself exactly what you've been doing. I know you guys were supposed to meet up for Christmas, like you said, but just something in your mind is telling you something. And it could be your woman's intuition telling you, look, no.
don't even do this. Don't put yourself through this. It's the holiday. Revisit this later. I think that's the best thing. You do not want her to mess up your holiday. You got some good shit going on and you go tell her. God knows she's not going to be happy, but she literally only thrives when you're going through shit. She loves for you to need her. And the fact that you said
I just want to call her and be like, I need you. I need you. Or, you know, I wish I could call her and tell her I need you. That's what she wants to hear more than anything. You understand what I'm saying? That's what she wants to hear. People love for you to need them. And as a person, we need other persons. You understand what I'm saying? Everybody needs someone for many different reasons. However, I think this situation can get a little dangerous. This sounds like a fucking movie. I've watched movies like this.
Lifetime movies and shit like that. But no, I think that she is just really obsessed with you. Yes, distance yourself. And I also think later this deserves some attention. This deserves a conversation where you two should go meet in public. Not that she's going to kill you or anything, but I just think in public you'll get a different response, a more of a genuine response because she
If you guys are alone, I don't know. I think maybe it'll get very heated, very intense. And in public, people generally act civilized more in public, you know, than they would behind closed doors when it's just you two alone. So I would say this definitely deserves a conversation. This is your best friend, like you said, of six years. Bye.
that's a pretty long time for you guys to actually be good friends and to know each other. And this seems to make you very uncomfortable. I think you just need to sit down and talk with her and tell her how you feel exactly how you feel, boo. Don't sugarcoat it at all. Tell her because she obviously tells you how she feels. And understand before I move on to the next story, I want you to only take
what I said about her being obsessed with you or like secretly in love with you. I'm just assuming that because the part where you said she doesn't like you with any men, like, you know, she tries to find something wrong about every guy you deal with. And then also when the guy treated her a certain way or when you bought it to her attention that the guy pissed you off or whatever, that made her feel good. She wanted you to get rid of him. She
I don't know if that's men or women, but if it's like men, that's an issue. Now it's totally understandable for women because I have a female best friend who gets upset when I go around calling other people best friend and as she should, I don't get upset because she don't do it. I do that. You know, I've adopted best friends over the years and where are they now? Non-existent. You know, I literally still just have
two best friends, my male best friend and my female best friend. But the fact that she's like that, even with men, like the opposite sex and y'all two are not even intimately involved. That's so weird. That's a little too territorial if you ask me.
Because, sweetheart, why you ain't got no damn man? If you're not lesbian, why the hell don't you have a man? The fuck? So, yeah, I think you need to sit down with her, have that conversation, but definitely still distance yourself. Even if you do miss her, I think it's bigger than you just missing her. Y'all need to get down to the root of why she is the way she is. Just check back in with me, baby girl.
And for you not to be from here, I know you explained that your English was broken. I think you did pretty good. Now we got a commercial. And if you click off this podcast, I swear I'm gonna beat your ass. Listen. Here's a little secret. Most smartphone deals aren't that exciting. To be honest, they're barely worth mentioning. But then there's AT&T and their best deals. Those are quite exciting. They're the kind of deals that are really worth talking about. Like their deal on the new Samsung Galaxy Z Flip 6.
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State Farm Insurance also cares about the growth of black communities. They're actively investing in programs and initiatives that help provide financial literacy, give early career advice, and grow black-owned businesses, thus leading to generational wealth, which helps protect the future of our communities. We want to build a future that we all can be proud of.
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She needs someone who's going to fight for her. If we don't follow the right plan, we lose. The hit series Reasonable Doubt, now streaming on Hulu. She was defending herself against a monster. Starring Emma Yatze-Corinaldi. I'm the best lawyer you have ever worked with. And Morris Chestnut. I'm not gonna stop. I think I love it, love it. Never underestimate the power of attorney. Always bet on tax. Reasonable Doubt, new episodes Thursdays, streaming only on Hulu.
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Now, moving on. This one is an update. Let's hear it.
Hi, Jess. I wanted to do a follow-up with you from your December 21st podcast episode. I was the woman who was in the military that found out my ex-boyfriend was not a U.S. citizen. I found out back in May that he wasn't a citizen when I was helping him apply for a job. We did not break up until late November, so I tried to deal with it for six months, like you had guessed. He lived in my house, and I was paying all the bills just so he could save up for an immigration lawyer to take care of his citizenship. I
another mistake on my part. As far as his family, they always made up excuses when I would ask him to ask them to meet up. Oh, I'm busy with work. Oh,
Oh, I got this going on. Oh, I got that going on. Never talked to them on the phone. Never talked to them on FaceTime. I did make him show me the text, though, like of him texting his family and their B.S. responses. But yeah, they never found time after a year and a half. And that's when I finally kind of realized, you know, is this how I want my future to be for the rest of my life? Knowing that I'm only going to be spending time with my family and being with someone whose family never wants to meet me or give me the time of day.
to even judge me. I have a feeling it's because I'm not from his culture and I already came into the relationship with two children. But I am taking your advice and moving forward. I'm in the military. I have a bachelor's degree. I do know my worth. So thank you for all your advice. And you couldn't be more right about like, ladies, you really don't know
who you're laid up with. I mean, I spent a year and a half with this person and had no idea that he wasn't even a citizen of the U S and I really be on top of my investigation shit sometimes. So that was such a shock to me.
And I think back, like, what if I would have gotten married to him? What if I would have had a baby with him and then found out? Such bad scenarios. So like you said, a year and a half is a long time, but it's not detrimental. So I'm going to take your advice and move forward. Thank you for helping me with my mess. I'm so grateful. I forgot to mention to you, I'm stationed here in Maryland. So I hope to see you at a future show and keep doing great things.
Oh, baby girl. Yes. You got to come to the show, girl. You got to come to a show. I'm actually having a show at Constitution Hall in D.C. on December 31st. That's New Year's Eve, girl. Come out, let your hair down and just have a drink or two and enjoy the comedy. It's going to be me, D-Ray, Ricky Smiley, B. Simone. I don't know if you're familiar with all of them, but they are also phenomenal comics. We're just going to give you all a good show on New Year's Eve going into the new year.
All right, now for your update. Baby girl, I'm so glad. One thing I want to point out to you, I don't want you to ever feel stupid as a woman, you know? And like you said, you'd be on your investigation shit sometimes, so you didn't even know how you missed it. Love, genuine love. I'm not going to even say you were blind. Like, no.
Men are so good at what they do just like we are. It was easy for you not to see it. I understand. It's easy how you thought this man loved you and not saying that he didn't. I believe that he actually really could. I believe that he could have loved you. This is a year and a half. There's no way humanly possible, even if it is your motive to just receive a fucking green card or citizenship or whatever.
You naturally fall in love with a person or start loving a person, being with them every day, getting to know them, actually sharing experiences and good conversation and bondmanship. Like you actually naturally just start loving a person. This is 18 months.
So, I don't want you to feel the least bit of stupid or dumb or dense or whatever because you didn't see this coming. It's okay. I just am happy that you did get out when you did. Like you said, you could have had a child. You could have actually married this man. You could have gotten pregnant. I ain't trying to hear that shit about his fucking religion. And look, I'm all for respecting everyone's religions and beliefs and morals and all of that. But...
If it was such against his fucking religion, he wouldn't have gone a year and a half with you and your kids living there and all that shit. He wouldn't have done that. His parents, his family, they some bullshitters too. Like I said in the previous episode when you first gave me your story, no.
They were in on it. They know that their son or whoever he, you know, I don't know if you're specifically talking about his parents, but, you know, they know that their family member needs to be granted citizenship. And so them foreigners, baby, listen, by any means possible,
Will they do what they have to do to be granted citizenship? Because they don't want to go back to their country. They don't want, you know what I'm saying? This shit, we don't want to be over here, but you know, whatever. They want to come here. They want to live here. Sometimes this is a better life for them over here. And I don't know how the fuck, but this is a better life for them. A lot of those people from other countries and shit, you know?
So by any means necessary, they're going to do everything that they can or they feel is necessary to have a better life. Even if that is at the expense of another American. Because a lot of them look at us like we already got it. Look, they're living great. I want to go live like them. Even if it involves fucking us over. A lot of foreigners look at us like the most selfish country ever and we are. So I don't ever undermine how they feel about us. But your whole situation, it was very...
very petty and fucked up. I'm just glad that you're gone. I'm glad that you did not have any kids with this man. I'm so glad. And again, I thank you for giving me an update because I really was worried about you, girl. I really was. You know, sometimes I read people's stories and a lot of them stick. I'm not going to say that some of them aren't important, but
Some of them really, really stick. And I'll go to sleep thinking about some of you women and some of you men that are really in these detrimental spaces and in these situations. And it's like, yo, I know these people need help more professional than me. But the fact that they're even giving me the exposure of what they're going through, y'all letting me in, I appreciate that all the time. You know, I'm not here to make fun of you. I'm not here to judge you. This is a judge-free zone. You know, this is a safe space. I want people to know that
I'm going through shit too. You know, I've gone through shit and I know I'm going to probably go through some more. That's what happens. That's how you overcome obstacles. That's how you become victorious. That's how you become resilient and you stay resilient. That's how you learn to endure anything. And that's also how you learn to help others when you recognize something that they're going through because you've been through it or you can relate to it or you have seen it before. So I appreciate you, girl.
Hold up, hold up. I know this shit getting good, but listen to just a couple seconds of a commercial. If you love me, you'll listen.
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You can take your favorite toys while adventuring on new terrains.
Seize the thrill and start exploring with the 2024 Nissan Pathfinder today. Head over to NissanUSA.com to learn more. Intelligent all-wheel drive cannot prevent collisions or provide enhanced traction in all conditions. Always monitor traffic and weather conditions. Towing capacity varies by configuration. See Nissan Towing Guide and Owner's Manual for additional information. Always secure cargo. Seeing our communities grow and thrive is something we care deeply about here at Black Tech Green Money.
State Farm Insurance also cares about the growth of black communities. They're actively investing in programs and initiatives that help provide financial literacy, give early career advice, and grow black-owned businesses, thus leading to generational wealth, which helps protect the future of our communities. We want to build a future that we all can be proud of.
State Farm understands that representation alone doesn't equate to authenticity. It also requires active sponsorship of programs like the AXO, a year-long program that recognizes and rewards high school students for their academic and cultural achievements, along with funding programs like Project Ready, a National Urban League program committed to educational achievement of black and brown youth that has awarded over $11 million in scholarship offers to date.
State Farm believes that being better neighbors creates better communities and can have a long-lasting impact. Like a good neighbor, State Farm is there. I'm a good lawyer, and I want to win. I think I killed GT.
I'm not going to stop. I think I love it, love it. Never underestimate the power of attorney. Always bet on tax. Reasonable Doubt. New episodes Thursdays. Streaming only on Hulu.
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Third one I'm gonna read before we get out of here. I'm submitting my story and I don't think anyone can fix this mess at all. So why the hell you writing me, girl? My kid's dad is only top tier when we are fucking, period. He thinks he can just get whatever he wants regarding our kids and disappear when he wants. Pay what he wants, get them when he wants, then throws court in my face.
He done been with multiple stalker women, women that have threatened my kids, and he continues to be a terror. I want nothing more than for us to be friends and raise our kids. He needs to hear how dumb he is being. We used to be able to co-parent to a degree. Now it's all bad. I really need a phone conversation to provide detail, but we need Jesus and a public eye. Ay, yo. Ha, ha, ha.
I'm going to have to bring y'all on co-parenting therapy. Me and Rome are actually starting up season two of co-parenting therapy where we'll be sitting down with other couples, couples that are not trying to be together or know they can't be together, but they're still trying to create a healthy environment to co-parent with their children.
So if you have any submissions for that and you would like to appear on the show and you are in the DMV area, even if you're not still submit. But if you are in the DMV area, you could be on the show within the next month or so. And it premieres only on YouTube. It will start, like I said, January 2023. All right. Now back to you, girl.
This is just a case of, I love my baby mother. I never let her go. Okay. And you know why? It's because you still are periodically fucking him. Even if y'all don't have that relationship where y'all fucking every day, he knows he can call you and he can get some. Or even if that's not the case, let me stop. Even when you want some, you'll call him and he come running.
That's actually bad. That's bad. You ain't supposed to be doing that unless y'all planning on being together. You ain't supposed to do that. Like you said, he's had multiple women and all of that. That still ain't stop you from having sex with him. And it must be something really, really, really good about you, baby. You snapping turd of having ass. Oh!
Because he keeps coming back and then it's causing him to act out even in parenting when he can't get what he want from you. He takes it out on the kids, you know, like not getting them. I'm not saying beating on him or nothing like that. I'm saying, but not getting them and not doing what he needs to do for them. And, you know, he pays when he wants to pay for shit or he come gets them whenever he wants. That's because you haven't completely cut him off from the cat. Once he realizes that,
Okay, we can't be intimate no more. She ain't fucking with me. Then maybe that's when he'll start getting it. This is strictly about the kids, but you have to set that boundary. This is strictly about our children. We have to raise them as effectively as we can. We cannot confuse them. Mommy and daddy ain't together, but daddy come over here every Friday night, stay the night in mommy's room. What the hell is going on? And then when we're with daddy, we see other women. We get threatened by other women. No, no, no, no, no. Cut that nigga off.
And just make him a co-parent. That's it. And I mean that, girl. Check back in with me. And just like that, we come to the end of another Carefully Reckless session with your girl, Just Hilarious. Make sure you submit, like I said, your co-parenting inquiries to the co-parenting therapy page. And send, send, send your stories here on the Carefully Reckless page. Tune in to Reckless Discussions. Tune in, tune in. Each and every Wednesday at 7 p.m. only on YouTube. And in my deepest pan voice, peace.
Carefully Reckless is a production of iHeartRadio and The Black Effect. For more podcasts from iHeartRadio, visit the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you listen to your favorite shows. I'm a good lawyer and I want to win. I'm a savage. I think I killed GT.
She needs someone who's going to fight for her. If we don't follow the right plan, we lose. The hit series Reasonable Doubt, now streaming on Hulu. She was defending herself against a monster. Starring Emma Yatze-Corinaldi. I'm the best lawyer you have ever worked with. And Morris Chestnut. I'm not gonna stop. I think I love it, love it. Never underestimate.
The power of attorney. Always bet on tax. Reasonable Doubt. New episodes Thursdays. Streaming only on Hulu. Gear up for outdoor adventures with the 2024 Nissan Pathfinder. This midsize SUV is designed for epic journeys, offering spacious seating for eight, available panoramic moonroof, and an available intelligent four-wheel drive feature with seven drive modes to take your off-road experience to new heights. Discover the 2024 Nissan Pathfinder at NissanUSA.com.
Intelligent all-wheel drive cannot prevent collisions or provide enhanced traction in all conditions. Always monitor traffic and weather conditions. Towing capacity varies by configuration. See Nissan Towing Guide and Owner's Manual for additional information. Always secure cargo. Most deals are barely worth mentioning.
But then there's AT&T's best deal on the new Samsung Galaxy Z Flip 6, featuring FlexCam with Galaxy AI. You can get it on them when you trade in your eligible smartphone, any year, any condition. It's a deal so good you'll be shouting!
So grab a ladder and learn how to get that new phone on AT&T. AT&T connecting changes. Everything requires trade in of galaxy S note or Z series smartphone limited time offer 256 gigabytes for $0 additional fees, terms and restrictions apply. Zatt.com slash Samsung or visit an AT&T store for details.
Ryan Seacrest here.
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