Older Don't Mean Better
26:45 Share

Most deals are barely worth mentioning. But then there's AT&T's best deal on the new Samsung Galaxy Z Flip 6 featuring FlexCam with Galaxy AI. You can get in on them when you trade in your eligible smartphone any year, any condition. It's a deal so good, you'll be shouting from

the real talk so grab a ladder and learn how to get that new phone on AT&T AT&T connecting changes everything requires trading of Galaxy S Note and Z series smartphone limited time offer 256 gigabytes for $0 additional fees terms and restrictions apply see att.com slash Samsung or visit an AT&T store for details I'm a good lawyer and I want to win I think I killed GT

She needs someone who's going to fight for her. If we don't follow the right plan, we lose. The hit series Reasonable Doubt, now streaming on Hulu. She was defending herself against a monster. Starring Emma Yatze Coronaldi. I'm the best lawyer you have ever worked with. And Morris Chestnut. I'm not gonna stop. I think I love it, love it. Never underestimate.

The power of attorney. Always bet on Jags. Reasonable Doubt. New episodes Thursdays. Streaming only on Hulu. Gear up for outdoor adventures with the 2024 Nissan Pathfinder. This midsize SUV is designed for epic journeys. Offering spacious seating for eight, available panoramic moonroof, and an available intelligent four-wheel drive feature with seven drive modes. Take your off-road experience to new heights. Discover the 2024 Nissan Pathfinder at NissanUSA.com.

Intelligent all-wheel drive cannot prevent collisions or provide enhanced traction in all conditions. Always monitor traffic and weather conditions. Touring capacity varies by configuration. See Nissan Touring Guide and Owner's Manual for additional information. Always secure cargo.

State Farm Insurance knows that understanding and investing in our cultural identity is paramount in protecting our future. We know what it's like to go from nothing to something, to wish that we had better financial literacy when we were younger. Luckily, State Farm is here to help. With funding programs like Project Ready, which is committed to education achievement and has already awarded over $11 million in scholarship offers to black and brown youth since 2021. State Farm believes that being better neighbors creates better communities.

Like a good neighbor, State Farm is there. Imagine relying on a dozen different software programs to run your business, none of which are connected, and each one more expensive and more complicated than the last. It can be pretty stressful.

Welcome to Carefully Reckless, the production of iHeartRadio and The Black Effect.

And just like that, we're back on the air. Welcome back to yet another carefully reckless episode with your girl, Jess Hilarious. I'm going to jump straight in. Jess fixed my mess again. We got some voice notes this time, y'all. Thank you, because I'm getting tired of reading y'all long ass synopsis. All right. Y'all don't be spelling right or nothing. I keep telling y'all to proofread or send in your voice. But I love y'all either way. So I guess I'm going to just have to keep reading. Here we go.

Hey Jess, I've been listening to your podcast since the very beginning and I've always wanted to send in something but I just never had the courage so today I'm doing it. So I'm 23 years old and I've been dealing with a guy

for five years now actually yesterday made it five years we've been on and off we somewhat have a relationship and i will break that down to you but i believe me being young and dumb i've accepted this and allowed it to go on way longer than it has and i really think i know what's best but due to also doubted myself i'm not sure so i really like advice on this so i'm

The guy I've been dating for the last five years, talking to, I will say, when I met him initially, I was 20 years old. And by that time, he was 38 years old. So fast forward, I'm 23 today, and he's 41. I know, huge, huge age gap.

Between the two of us, we've worked past that. That's really never been a problem for me, the age thing. And it's never been a problem for him. But relationship-wise, since day one, since I've known this man, he got my number. We went out. Eventually, I went to his house. And it's been like this ever since. Like, he'd call me every day. We'd call each other every day. Then it went from him calling me baby, pretty face, to telling me this is forever. So now I'm...

believing in my head. This is a relationship. This man wants me forever. And, you know, I should be acting as if I want to be wanted forever. You know, I should do my wifely duties now. That's what I'm thinking. So for the past five years, that's what I've been doing. Although we don't live together, I'm at his house a lot. He will come and get me and I'll be there for,

Maybe sometimes up to a month I'll be, you know, with him or, you know, whatever may be the case. I am a mother, so, you know, I have my own schedule. Of course, I'm doing my thing on the side as a mother. I've never, you know, select on my mother skills to be with him. But this relationship has taken a lot from me in my 20s. You know, I've been only about him and it's been feeling weird.

these are red flags that I know I should have paid attention to a long time ago, but he has filled my head up with so many excuses that I thought it was normal. So I haven't met his mother. I haven't met his sister. He only has one sibling. I've never met any of them. He doesn't post me on social media. It was hard to get a date out of this man. And

And literally, as I'm sitting here telling you this story, like, I know. I know. Literally, yeah. It's time for me to walk away. Fast forward five years later, I've been sucking and fucking this man. You know, I've been doing all that to him. I've been cooking and cleaning. And I come to his house and wash his fucking walls and clean his fucking shower and make him dinner, bake him cakes. Like, all...

Yeah.

I understand being private, but this is a secret. I'm a secret. This isn't privacy anymore. Anytime I brought up the fact that I'd like to meet his parents, we've never spent holidays together. Anytime I bring things like that up, he tells me I'm being childish. That's little shit. And I need to get over that.

Why is it important to me, his family, when his mama don't really care to meet nobody else? She don't want to meet no more women, things of that nature. But you're telling me that we're going to be together forever. You're even doing the things to, you know, we're doing the things to make a baby here, you know, so...

I know it's time to stop fooling around and to just grow up. And although he's going to tell me whatever I need to hear to stay, I'm really ready to walk away. We had an actual talk yesterday, and he told me finally that he wouldn't be able to marry me, not right now at least. And I really feel like I need to take that as face value and get the fuck away. Jess, help my mess.

And I feel like he's better than that. And I'm better than that. And I should do us both a favor and walk away. But Jess, I need you to straighten me up.

I need you to tell me this. So when I think about answering those calls again, when I feel like talking to them again, no, no, no, no, no. We're not doing that. I want to be done. I need better. I want to be a wife. I want to find my husband. And I'd rather do better all by myself if I'm not going to be a wife. So I just need some encouraging words. Please, yes. Thank you.

So girl, I'm going to beat you down. Then I'm going to build you up and encourage you and send you on your way because you asked for this. All right. First of all, you already know because you kept saying it while you were telling me, you know, you know what type of man this is, you know, and he caught you very, very young. He caught you when you were 18. He was 38. What the fuck are you doing? What a baby. Now, listen, I've done this as well. When I was 16, I was

I was in a relationship with a 30, I think he was 38 too. I met this man when I was 14. He was 34. Yeah, he was 20 years older than me. 20 years older than me when I was 16. So I absolutely know exactly how you feel. I know your pain. That shit makes you feel special.

You know what I'm saying? Especially in your little young mind. I'm speaking to 18-year-old you. In your young mind, oh, you're doing a damn thing because you got a nigga that drive and he older and he this and he that and he this and he that. And, you know, what that has done is kind of took you out of the dating pool to date your age or to date a little older than you and to even experience what peer love could be. Like you didn't even get to experience what you don't like.

You know what I'm saying? Or what turns you off about an older guy because you ain't never been dating no younger guys. You know what I'm saying? Now, you said you have a baby and apparently that's not his baby, obviously. And I'm very glad that it's not. So apparently you've been doing some other fucking and sucking outside of this man. And listen, more power to you because you do not need to be with him. You didn't have no business being with him. He was 18. He didn't have no business fucking preying on you when you were 18 years old. Now, listen, this is something that he does.

And I'm going to say this because this is something that the guy that I was dating when I was 16 did as well. You think you're the only one and you're not. He has a bunch of y'all little young girls. And I think he also may be married as well. He's probably bored in his marriage. He probably is never going to leave his wife or whoever the fuck he got at home, which is why you never see him on holidays. But you are his fun. Now, he's been doing this for a long time, so he knows how to keep up these relationships and make each relationship.

one of y'all feel like y'all are the priority. You said he talks to you every day. Y'all flirt every day. You're able to see him. You just don't get to spend the times of the year that means the most to people usually. And that those are holidays, birthdays and stuff like that. He's keeping you exactly where he wants you to be. He's going to tell you anything you want to hear to get you to never leave because that's exactly what he was doing when he met you. That's

That's why he prays on y'all so young. That's why he dates y'all so young. Now, mind you, I'm saying y'all because you're not the only one. That should be evident enough. This is me straightening you up. That should be evident enough for you to be like, oh yeah, I'm done. Yeah, you're not his only little young baby. And while he's not old enough to be a sugar daddy, oh, he on his way.

I can say you're a sugar baby. He may not be a sugar daddy, but baby, you are a sugar baby. Believe that. That's what it is. I think you know what to do. And I know you said, oh, I want to be a wife. I want to be married. Yes, I want, I want, I want. But not at the expense of your heart. Not at the expense of who you are, your mind, your dignity. Girl, do not rob yourself. You're dodging a bullet leaving that shit alone. You

You're doing him a favor and you a favor and his wife a favor or his girlfriend a favor. You're doing a favor for all three of y'all at this point. But the fact that you've been cooking and cleaning and like this motherfucker is training you to be a wife that you'll never be. So actually he trained you for somebody else, you know, because you're going to make someone a very lucky husband one day. It just cannot be that nigga.

It cannot and it won't be. If it's anything I can do in my power, I will not let you do that shit. Girl, hell no. You're 23. You're supposed to be worrying about what fucking career choice you want to pick. You're supposed to be worried about, you know, like, come on now. And then you in your early 20s. We are in different times now. You're supposed to be thinking about starting a fucking business, going back to school if that's what you want to do.

You're supposed to be worrying about other shit, how you can get ahead in life, how you can be setting yourself up so you can be well off in your 30s. Okay? You're supposed to be going to parties and shit. You're supposed to be dating around.

Not waiting for an old ass man to leave another woman because that's exactly what you will be waiting for. And you don't even know. That's what you will be signing up for. Don't nobody know about you. And ain't nobody going to know about you. Imagine him bringing your little young ass to his mother. Imagine that. He wouldn't do that if he wasn't with another woman. You're too young. I would feel horrible as a 41-year-old man bringing my 23-year-old girlfriend to meet my mother. What?

It's nothing that he can even learn from you. A relationship is give and take everything. It's benefit for both, everything. I want a man I can learn from, but I also want my man to learn from me. It ain't nothing that he can learn from your little ass. Nothing. I'm not saying that you're dense or you're stupid or you're not intelligent or anything. No, uneducated, that's not to say that. He has been 23 before.

And I understand you're very mature dealing with his old ass, but you still can't teach him shit. That's why he wants to control the situation because, you know, he manipulates you. You can't teach him anything. You're not even in control of the situation, but you're going to take control. You're going to leave that ass. That's how you get revenge. That's how you control. You leave it and let him deal with any other little young girl he going to deal with. Let him sell them dreams to somebody else.

Okay? Seriously. Raise your baby and date. Date. I don't feel bad telling young girls, date around, date around. How the fuck you know what you want if you ain't never had nothing to compare it to? How the fuck you know you comparing everybody to this old ass man? Girl, what? Somebody gonna meet you and rock your world. Sweep you off your fucking feet. Beautiful. Don't. Let it go. All right?

I love you. Like, literally, like, I love you. Hold up, hold up. I know this shit getting good, but listen to just a couple seconds of a commercial. If you love me, you'll listen. Here's a little secret. Most smartphone deals aren't that exciting. To be honest, they're barely worth mentioning. But then there's AT&T and their best deals. Those are quite exciting. They're the kind of deals that are worth talking about. Like their deal on the Samsung Galaxy Z Flip 6.

With this amazing deal, you can trade in your eligible smartphone any year, any condition for a new Samsung Galaxy Z Flip 6. It's so good, in fact, it'll have you shouting from the rooftops. So get yourself down to street level and learn how to snag the new Samsung Galaxy Z Flip 6 on AT&T and maybe grab a ladder on the way home.

AT&T. Connecting changes everything. Requires trading of Galaxy S, Note, or Z series smartphone. Limited time offer. 256 gigabytes for $0. Additional fees, terms, and restrictions apply. See att.com slash Samsung or visit an AT&T store for details.

Hibernation season is over and it's time to get some sun outside. Gather your crew and hit the road in the Spacious 2024 Nissan Pathfinder, your getaway to larger-than-life adventures. With spacious seating for eight and available Panoramic Moonroof,

Everyone can enjoy the journey and soak in the scenery of the great outdoors. Plus, with an available tour capacity of up to 6,000 pounds and an available intelligent four-wheel drive feature with seven drive modes, you can take your favorite toys while adventuring on new terrains. Seize the thrill and start exploring with the 2024 Nissan Pathfinder today. Head over to NissanUSA.com to learn more.

Intelligent all-wheel drive cannot prevent collisions or provide enhanced traction in all conditions. Always monitor traffic and weather conditions. Towing capacity varies by configuration. See Nissan Towing Guide and Owner's Manual for additional information. Always secure cargo.

State Farm Insurance gets it. Representation alone doesn't equate to authenticity. State Farm understands and wants to help protect our communities by investing in our future, building off the hard work our parents have done before us. We all are looking to create generational wealth so that our families and generations behind us have a better starting point than we did. That begins with financial literacy.

State Farm helps fund programs like Project Ready, a National Urban League program committed to the educational achievement of Black and Brown youth.

To date, participants have been awarded over $11 million in scholarships offers as a direct result of contributions from State Farm. At Eating While Broke, we hear inspiring rags to riches stories on each episode from our guests. But with State Farm, you can begin to write your own success story. State Farm believes that being better neighbors creates better communities and have a long lasting impact. Like a good neighbor, State Farm is there. I'm a good lawyer and I want to win. I'm a savage. I think I killed Jesus.

I'm not going to stop. I think I love it, love it. Never underestimate the power of attorney. Always bet on Jags. Reasonable Doubt. New episodes Thursdays. Streaming only on Hulu.

MITRE's mission is to solve problems for a safer world. If you have a passion for applied cybersecurity with skills in infrastructure threat intelligence, deterrence technologies, advisal threat emulation, or intelligence analysis, explore the many challenging and fulfilling career opportunities at MITRE.org slash careers. That's M-I-T-R-E dot org slash careers. Moving on.

This is an update. And then she has another problem that she would like for me to fix. Listen.

always you know wanted to hit them up but I was just scared or whatever and I once I heard you say you know either pray for new friends to come into your life or hit them up because you missed them or whatever I literally was crying listening to it because like I genuinely really missed them like it's it's like a part of me is grieving because I missed them so much so I did what you said and I texted both of them and one of them was like she was like awkwardly

texting me as if like why are you texting me or like what did you hear so I just stopped texting her the other one left me on read so I just want to thank you for taking the time out to listen to my story and help me with that and I'm gonna pray for some new friends because them hoes is not shit thank you I love you bye

Exactly, baby. I love you too. And listen, that's no love lost there. If you want to continue to pray for those ladies, you can. If you just want to leave it there, leave it there. Don't reach out again. You missed them so much and you love them still with everything in you because you guys grew up together. Those were your first real fucking friends. But people grow up and certain people evolve and some people don't.

When you grow, everybody won't grow with you. Unfortunately, everybody grows at their own pace. Those girls are still stuck in the motherfucking hood, fighting and shit. They on some Zeus Network shit. Nah, you on some HBO shit, baby. Go ahead. Keep on going. Keep on fucking going. Okay? No love lost. And don't even regret hitting them because maybe that's the closure that you fucking needed. A lot of people don't realize closure doesn't have to always be positive.

Closure doesn't have to always bring you back together because if it's closure, then it's not closed. You're reopening. You're rehashing. No, closure is exactly what the fuck you got. All right, left me all red. All right, I reached out. I love you guys. I'ma love y'all from a distance. That's it. If you still choose to, but you said it, I didn't. Them hoes ain't shit.

And they wasn't shit before, but you loved them. Y'all had a relationship, you know, y'all had friendship and it's nothing wrong with that. That's it. They just gave you the closure that you needed.

Now you have another story I'm going to play. Hey Jess, so I'm back and I just want to get your advice on this situation to see if it's really the deal I'm making or if I'm overreacting. So to give you a little background history, I met my man about four years ago and we've been in a relationship for three years. Together we have one kid, but he came with one and did not have one. So we have three kids all together.

The relationship is really well. It's a typical relationship. We argue some days, but we're always good most of the time. So that's really good. He's a good man. He's good to me. He really does a lot for me, for my son. We all love him. But I kind of feel like...

In a way, he belittles me. And it's honestly starting to fuck with me. He's a few years older than me, like about five years older than me. So he has some more experience in life. And I never take away from him. He did like three years in jail. So he has a lot of knowledge. Now, the problem is when it comes to me expressing anything to him, I feel like he makes it seem as if I'm dumb.

He belittles any knowledge that I talk to him about. And it's kind of starting to put me in a place where I feel like, you know, I don't want to be with this man because he doesn't look at me as smart. Like sometimes when I explain things to him, it's, you know, easy. But other times it's like he's trying to belittle what I'm saying or my point of view. So, for instance, I was talking to him because he's in jail now.

And no, I didn't meet him in jail. He just went to jail this year, so don't do it. But so for instance, he's in jail. So of course, he doesn't have any access to any internet or anything. And he said that the TV is always on sports. So I was telling him about the 10-year-old boy who killed his mom in Missouri. And I was telling him, you know, what the news reporter said.

I constantly stated what the news said or what the article said or what this, this, and that said. And then it's like, I was like, you know, a little bit emotional because I'm a mom myself and I have two kids and...

I feel like it was just like heartbreaking as a mother. So I was talking to him about it. I was really vulnerable. It was really bothering me. It's something that still bothers me because it's really new, but it's like he brushed off how I was feeling and he was just saying, you know, well, I don't know what happened, but

I don't believe everything that be on the news. I feel like people believe anything somebody tell them. And I feel like it's always like that. Even when he explains things to me, he starts off by saying, well, I know you don't know, or I know you don't think like this, or, you know, he basically just always tries to make it seem like I'm this dumb ass bitch. And it's honestly starting to bother me. Like I told you, we've been together three years. So this is three years of this shit being built up.

we have talked about it multiple times and I have told him that I would prefer him not to say those type of words before we're discussing anything. Don't tell me, well, you know, I don't think like this or, you know, because you don't know what the fuck I know. You don't know how the fuck I think. And it's really starting to bother me to the point where I'm starting to like fall out of love with him because I feel like he doesn't

look at me as a black educated woman that I carry myself to be.

And usually people break up with people for cheating or being abusive. And it's literally none of that. And that's why, like, I've asked one other person besides you. And they said that, you know, it's just how he is because he was in prison. You know, a lot of people who went to prison before are really educated because they don't have anything to do but read and learn upon things, which is also true. He is a, you know, educated black man. He's highly educated. And I give him that props.

But I just feel like when it comes to me, it's nothing. Like he belittles me all the time, no matter what we're talking about. I always feel like he just puts me down when it comes to being educated and it's starting to bother me. When I do tell him stuff like what's bothering me or what he's saying,

that he shouldn't say. He does apologize and he honestly takes my feelings in consideration for the moment. He might not say it for about a week, but then it's like when we're talking about something else that's going on in social media or for our future, he always mentions that, you know,

I know you don't think like this. And it's just starting to, like, annoy the hell out of me, and I don't want to be with him. So I just want to come to you and see if I'm overreacting. Is it not a big deal? Because, like I said, I carry myself as an educated Black woman. I am young. I'm only 21, and he is 26.

So we do have like a little bit of an age difference. And I know that could be not a big deal to most because I'm considered younger to him and I haven't been through that much in life. But I still feel like I carry myself well and I would like other people to notice how educated I am, especially my man. If nobody else noticed, then I would at least want my man to know, you know, hey, I have

a beautiful black woman who is also educated like I don't want him to just think that you know I'm just dumb bitch and even if he doesn't think it because he always says that's not what I'm thinking that's not what I mean I just don't like the tone when we're talking it's to the point where I have just stopped talking to him about shit that I know he would respond in that type of manner about so yeah girl I just want to know am I overreacting

Is it not a big deal? Am I doing too much? You know, like I said, we have been together for three years, but I'm just annoyed as hell. Now we got a commercial. And if you click off this podcast, I swear I'm gonna beat your ass. Listen.

Hibernation season is over and it's time to get some sun outside. Gather your crew and hit the road in the spacious 2024 Nissan Pathfinder, your gateway to larger-than-life adventures. With spacious seating for eight and available panoramic moonroof, everyone can enjoy the journey and soak in the scenery of the great outdoors. Plus, with an available towing capacity of up to 6,000 pounds and an available intelligent four-wheel drive feature with seven drive modes,

You can take your favorite toys while adventuring on new terrains.

Seize the thrill and start exploring with the 2024 Nissan Pathfinder today. Head over to NissanUSA.com to learn more. Intelligent all-wheel drive cannot prevent collisions or provide enhanced traction in all conditions. Always monitor traffic and weather conditions. Towing capacity varies by configuration. See Nissan Towing Guide and Owner's Manual for additional information. Always secure cargo. Seeing our communities grow and thrive is something we care deeply about here at Black Tech Green Money.

State Farm Insurance also cares about the growth of black communities. They're actively investing in programs and initiatives that help provide financial literacy, give early career advice, and grow black-owned businesses, thus leading to generational wealth, which helps protect the future of our communities. We want to build a future that we all can be proud of.

State Farm understands that representation alone doesn't equate to authenticity. It also requires active sponsorship of programs like the AXO, a year-long program that recognizes and rewards high school students for their academic and cultural achievements, along with funding programs like Project Ready, a National Urban League program committed to educational achievement of black and brown youth that has awarded over $11 million in scholarship offers to date.

State Farm believes that being better neighbors creates better communities and can have a long-lasting impact. Like a good neighbor, State Farm is there. I'm a good lawyer and I want to win. I'm a savage. I think I killed GT.

She needs someone who's going to fight for her. If we don't follow the right plan, we lose. The hit series Reasonable Doubt, now streaming on Hulu. She was defending herself against a monster. Starring Emma Yatze-Corinaldi. I'm the best lawyer you have ever worked with. And Morris Chestnut. I'm not gonna stop. I think I love it, love it. Never underestimate the power of attorney. Always bet on tax. Reasonable Doubt, new episodes Thursdays, streaming only on Hulu.

MITRE's mission is to solve problems for a safer world. If you have a passion for applied cybersecurity with skills in infrastructure threat intelligence, deterrence technologies, advisal threat emulation, or intelligence analysis, explore the many challenging and fulfilling career opportunities at MITRE.org slash careers. That's M-I-T-R-E dot org slash careers.

Why wait for Labor Day to save big on new custom window treatments when you can save up to 45% right now at Blinds.com's Labor Day Early Access Sale.

Blinds.com is the better way to shop for custom window treatments. 100% online with upfront pricing and free shipping. No showroom markups. No pushy salespeople in your home. Blinds.com's design experts can help you make the perfect choices with free virtual consultations. Plus, they'll send samples right to your door fast and free. Blinds.com can even handle the measure and installation for you. Unlimited window treatments installed for one low cost.

Since 1996, customers have trusted Blinds.com to cover over 25 million windows, all backed by their 100% satisfaction guarantee. Don't miss Blinds.com's Labor Day Early Access Sale, happening right now. Save up to 45%, up to 45% off for a limited time at Blinds.com. Blinds.com, rules and restrictions may apply. Okay, open!

Okay. No, I don't think you're overreacting at all. I don't. And I think the rest of the listeners could agree with me as well. I don't think you're overreacting. I think this is something within himself. He's not happy in his life where he is. Anytime he has to just keep telling you, you don't think like that or I don't listen to everything that happens. Obviously, you don't listen. And obviously, you don't know every fucking thing or you would know how to keep that ass out of jail. Damn. How about that?

You know, now listen, while people do go to jail and that's where a lot of men and women both are taught a lot of things because, right, they don't really have a lot of things that they can do, a lot of activities they can get into. You know, they're in jail, they're in prison. So they do read. A lot of people do read and they educate themselves. And they even have classes in prisons, you know, not jails so much, but in prisons, you know, they got classes you can take and all that type of stuff. I'm not putting anything past how educated he is or not.

But I also feel like that he plays on the fact that you are young, five years younger than he is. And I feel like you're kind of letting that play on you as well, because I've even heard you say, and I haven't really been through much in life. No, no, no, no, no. I think you're letting him make you think that way of yourself. You maybe have gone through different shit than he has gone through for sure, because he's in and out of jail, baby. You're not. But that doesn't go to say...

You haven't been through anything. You know, don't talk like that. Don't.

You know, and it is not what he say is the way he says it. You know, I do understand that that could be a point as well, because you're just like, look, don't tell me what the fuck I know. He can't tell you what you know. And yes, you do want to be supported. You do want to feel like your man is confident in you just as you're confident in yourself. I am a beautiful black educated woman. And yeah, I have a queen by my side. She's smart. She knows some shit. You know, we both don't know everything, but we know a little about a lot.

And that's what I always say. I don't know everything, but I know a little about a lot. You know what I'm saying? So I don't want to ever tell someone to leave someone unless they're being physically harmed or mentally abused. But I do feel like he has to take a break from the relationship and get his own self together mentally.

There's something he's battling and something that is weighing on his heart and over his head about his own life. I strongly feel that. I don't know what that is. You've been with him for three years. You've been with him longer. So you would know that before y'all got together, I imagine that you guys were just friends. So, I mean, I can't assume. I don't I don't know. But you know him more than I know him. You know him more than the listeners know him.

You would know if there was something that he was suffering with or that was something that he was just mentally battling. And unfortunately, we as girlfriends can't always help our men out with that. They have to get professional help. They have to actually go and seek help on their own because they're just running away from their problems. They're masking their problems and then internally shunning them, like internally shutting down and then projecting what they're going through on others.

And that's not good either because now you're blaming everyone else for your issues. I feel that's what he does. And I can bet you it's very, very difficult for him or very rare that he accepts accountability.

for shit that he does or, you know, just anything that he does, why he's in jail, why you guys argue, why he treats you the way that he does, things like that. I think you should take a break from your relationship. Have him get himself together. He in jail now, shit, he got nothing but time and books to read. Get yourself together while he on the inside and he need to get his self together while he's away from you and then revisit it. But I don't think that it's really healthy, especially if you've been in this for three years and it's just now starting to fuck with you. Oh, baby.

Listen, you're young. You should be doing so many other things right now instead of trying to pick a man's fucking brain apart to see why he doesn't think you're smart. Excuse me? You're 21. All right? Get yourself together. And hopefully he gets his self together. Check back in with me, girl.

Now, listen, that is the end of this episode, y'all. I love y'all so much. I really love what I do. I love what Carefully Reckless has formed into. I love that it's a very therapeutic space. It's a very safe space for my listeners. It's a safe space for my girls and my guys who are sending me their situations that they need help on, that they need me to fix or try to fix. And I'm just happy that I can be

of any assistance to any of you that I have helped. And I'm sorry for those who I haven't. But make sure you tune in to Calfly Reckless each and every Wednesday. Tune in to Reckless Discussions this evening as well at 7 p.m. only on YouTube and in my deepest Pam voice. Peace. ♪♪♪

Carefully Reckless is a production of iHeartRadio and The Black Effect. For more podcasts from iHeartRadio, visit the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you listen to your favorite shows. I'm a good lawyer and I want to win. I think I killed JT.

She needs someone who's going to fight for her. If we don't follow the right plan, we lose. The hit series Reasonable Doubt, now streaming on Hulu. She was defending herself against a monster. Starring Emma Yatze-Coronalde. I'm the best lawyer you have ever worked with. And Morris Chestnut. I'm not gonna stop.

I think I love it, love it. Never underestimate the power of attorney. Always bet on tax. Reasonable Doubt. New episodes Thursdays. Streaming only on Hulu. Gear up for outdoor adventures with the 2024 Nissan Pathfinder. This midsize SUV is designed for epic journeys, offering spacious seating for eight, available

panoramic moonroof and an available intelligent four-wheel drive feature with seven drive modes to take your off-road experience to new heights. Discover the 2024 Nissan Pathfinder at NissanUSA.com. Intelligent all-wheel drive cannot prevent collisions or provide enhanced traction in all conditions. Always monitor traffic and weather conditions. Towing capacity varies by configuration. See Nissan Towing Guide and Owner's Manual for additional information. Always secure cargo. Most deals are barely worth mentioning.

But then there's AT&T's best deal on the new Samsung Galaxy Z Flip 6 featuring FlexCam with Galaxy AI. You can get it on them when you trade in your eligible smartphone any year, any condition. It's a deal so good you'll be...

from the rooftop! So, grab a ladder and learn how to get that new phone on AT&T. AT&T, connecting changes everything. Requires trade-in of Galaxy S, Note, or Z series smartphone. Limited time offer. 256GB for $0. Additional fees, terms, and restrictions apply. See att.com slash Samsung or visit an AT&T store for details. Music

MITRE is investing in a massive AI supercomputer to power a new federal AI sandbox. With AI's potential to drive transformational advances across industries, MITRE's expertise in healthcare, cybersecurity, transportation, finance, climate, and national security will be critical. Transform your career while helping solve problems for a safer world. Visit MITRE.org slash careers. That's M-I-T-R-E dot org slash careers.

You slept through your alarm, missed the train, and your breakfast sandwich, ugh, cold. Sounds like you could use some luck. I'm Victoria Cash, and Lucky Land is where people go every day to get lucky. At Lucky Land, you can play over 100 casino-style games for free for your chance to redeem some serious prizes. Go to LuckyLandSlots.com and get lucky today. No purchase necessary. VGW Group. Void where prohibited by law. 18 plus. Terms and conditions apply.