Reckless Replay: Double the Trouble
30:09 Share

Most deals are barely worth mentioning. But then there's AT&T's best deal on the new Samsung Galaxy Z Flip 6, featuring FlexCam with Galaxy AI. You can get it on them when you trade in your eligible smartphone any year, any condition. It's a deal so good, you'll be shouting from the roof.

So, grab a ladder and learn how to get that new phone on AT&T. AT&T, connecting changes everything. Requires trade-in of Galaxy S, Note, or Z-series smartphone. Limited time offer, 256GB for $0. Additional fees, terms, and restrictions apply. See att.com slash Samsung or visit an AT&T store for details. I'm a good lawyer, and I want to win. I'm a savage. I think I killed GT.

She needs someone who's going to fight for her. If we don't follow the right plan, we lose. The hit series Reasonable Doubt, now streaming on Hulu. She was defending herself against a monster. Starring Emma Yatze-Coronalde. I'm the best lawyer you have ever worked with. And Morris Chestnut. I'm not gonna stop. I think I love it, love it. Never underestimate.

The power of attorney. Always bet on Jax. Reasonable Doubt. New episodes Thursdays. Streaming only on Hulu. Gear up for outdoor adventures with the 2024 Nissan Pathfinder. This midsize SUV is designed for epic journeys. Offering spacious seating for eight, available panoramic moonroof,

and an available intelligent four-wheel drive feature with seven drive modes to take your off-road experience to new heights. Discover the 2024 Nissan Pathfinder at NissanUSA.com. Intelligent all-wheel drive cannot prevent collisions or provide enhanced traction in all conditions. Always monitor traffic and weather conditions. Towing capacity varies by configuration. See Nissan Towing Guide and Owner's Manual for additional information. Always secure cargo.

Black Tech Green Money isn't just about telling the stories of successful black entrepreneurs. It's also about giving actionable and wealth-building strategies that help you protect the future of our communities. That's why we're pleased to be supported by State Farm Insurance. State Farm also believes that we must invest in our communities to achieve economic growth by sponsoring programs like the ACSO, which rewards high school students for their academic achievements. State Farm believes that being better neighbors creates better communities. Like a good neighbor, State Farm is there.

Hey guys, it is Ryan. I'm not sure if you know this about me, but I'm a bit of a fun fanatic when I can. I like to work, but I like fun too. And now I can tell you about my favorite place to have fun. Chumba Casino. They have hundreds of social casino style games to choose from with new games released each week. You can play for free and each day brings a new chance to collect daily bonuses. So join me in the fun. Sign up now at chumbacasino.com. Sponsored by Chumba Casino. No purchase necessary. VGW Group.

Voidware prohibited by law. 18 plus. Terms and conditions apply. Welcome to Can't Believe Reckless, the production of iHeartRadio and The Black Effect. ♪♪♪

And just like that, we back on the air. Welcome back to yet another Catholic Reckless episode with your girl, Jess Hilarious. So I'm fixing mess, fixing mess is what I do. I also do it on The Breakfast Club as well on BET 9am. Make sure y'all catch that whenever I'm there, which is more than likely almost all the time. Alright, we're going to jump straight in. I'm going to take some stories that

I got from fixing people's mess on Breakfast Club. One that I actually was pissed off about and it's rather quick so I'm just going to jump straight in with that. So this woman calls up, right? And she has a boyfriend.

Okay? But she's upset because he's married. I'm pissed off about it. My boyfriend is married. Skrrt! Duh. And I know I had to do my own sound effects, but duh. So I'm like, what should I do? So this is the thing. She met her man in jail, right? Of

Of course, he sold our dreams of what they were going to be when he got out of jail. When he got out of jail, he went to get engaged to someone else. Right. And not only did he get engaged, he actually jumped that broom. He got married and then went to go find the girlfriend. Right. So when she found out about the wife, she didn't leave. She tells me she mad at the wife for not holding her man down.

How you not mad at your boyfriend because he's somebody else's husband, but you mad at his wife?

for not holding her husband down who just happens to be your boyfriend. And then another fucked up thing about it is you're mad at this man's wife, but he got married when he came home. He wasn't already married. So you were never first. You were always second and was always going to be second. And you're asking me what you should do? What you should do is get some fucking dignity, wake up and go find you your own fucking man.

Because he's not yours. He will never be yours. You've already allowed too much. You think a man actually wants to be with someone who is okay with them cheating on their wives?

or was okay with being second anyway. You think you'll ever deserve in his eyes to be number one? These men only do to us what we allow mentally. You know what I'm saying? And then some women are not as strong minded as others, but I just couldn't understand. Like she had some nerves. She was upset. Oh, she wasn't holding him down. Like, and I just felt like that's crazy. Like how could you not hold him down? Cause he wasn't married to her yet.

Right. You was holding them down. Did you get a ring? You have to realize who you are, what you are, what you want, what you're going to take, what you ain't going to take and realize that the consequences of your actions are because of what you allowed or what you did. So the consequences, you always going to be the side bitch. I'm sorry. That's it.

That's what it is. Get back to me if you can. I know she's going to be calling up after she hear this shit. Like, I ain't tell you going there and say all that. Well, you made yourself look dumber on a huger platform. A bigger platform. She said it's your BET. Crazy ass. But I hope she gets the help that she needs. Because Lord, she's delusional.

All right, moving on. We got a voice note. Y'all know how I feel about these. Here we go. Hi, Jess. So before I start, I'm just going to give you a little background about myself before I ask you the original question that I have for you.

So I am 21 years old, born and raised in Minnesota. I currently work in three jobs, also going to school for a nail technician. I have no kids. I am single. I have my own car and apartment that I share with my sister. Okay. The question I have to ask you is, I don't know if anybody else is having this problem, but...

From my early 20s, I feel like I'm having an identity crisis. I feel like I truly can't find myself. I don't know what direction I want to go in. I'm trying to find love. I'm trying to lose weight. I'm trying to achieve goals. I just feel like I'm everywhere right now. And it's to the point where it's giving me overwhelm and depressed and drained and feeling like I'm behind in a way.

Wow. Like, for example, when I was in school, I was way smaller than what I am now. So I've gained a little bit more weight. So I just feel like, you know, I just don't look as pretty as everybody else. And of course, I feel like social media for me, it takes a part of that.

so I have took a break from that to help a little bit. Another example is with love. I'm such a freaking lover girl. Like, I love love, but the relationship is just not going well for me. Like, the dating error, all that stuff, like, it's just not going well for me, even if I want, like, a little sneaky link. Like, it never works out, and then with my schooling, I

I've been in school for two years trying to get my nail license because I'm dyslexic. It's harder for me to pass the quizzes and it's been taking me longer. But everybody else is an entrepreneur at my age. So I just feel like I'm just way behind on the things I need to do. So just give me some clarity and help me just. Thanks. Love you.

Hey, first of all, I love you too. Thank you for being vulnerable enough to open up to me about that because you know what you do? You open up the floor for other younger females, younger women to feel like they're not alone in this, you know, because...

Y'all generation are going through some shit too. Of course, a lot of identity crisis going on. Of course, when you have media constantly shoving in your face, you can change who you are. You can change any part of your body now. And everybody has access to these surgeons and just, you know, all types of things that can help you rid of your flaws, you know, but I think it's internal.

For you, you did say exactly what I was going to tell you. Social media will play a big part in this and how the media constantly tries to manipulate our minds with just certain standards that we're supposed to follow. Like, you know, and then influencers, I thank God for them because I started off as one. But I say their work would be a gift and a curse because they're

They open up your eyes to seeing I can own my own business. I can own something. I can be a young black creator. I can I don't have to work for nobody for the rest of my life. I am in a position where I can run my own business. At the same time, what it does is it shows another side of me.

When it makes working a nine to five or being who you really are off of social media, it looks uncool. It makes you uncool, makes you feel that you're not enough. And I really don't agree with anybody having to feel that way.

Oh man, I'm very conflicted about your situation just because I don't want you to ever feel like, because you are, you know, you consider yourself a little overweight or a lot overweight, whatever, you know, whether you're obese, fat, you know, there's levels to it. But however you feel about it, you still shouldn't let that depict how you go on in your love life. And then also, listen, you're 21. You're still trying to figure out you. I,

wouldn't be asking for love right now. I'm not going to say you don't know what love is. I would never say that. I wouldn't even say that to an 18-year-old because

Because what love is to you may be different from what love is to me. Love has no one fucking meaning. You know what I mean? So it goes by experience of what you feel. But I will say you have a lot going on. So you can't focus on one thing. You know what I'm saying? You can't focus on love right now because you also told me in the same breath, you're trying to figure out who you are.

There's no way that you can be ready for a relationship and you don't know who you are. So what I think is that you love the idea of love. You know, you love what it looks like. You know, you love what it can be. You love all the possibilities. You love what you see visually, what looks good visually to you. And then you probably see a lot of relationship goals, too.

You know what I'm saying? And that's good. You took a break from social media. I actually have family members that have to do that. I have friends that have to do that. I know other influencers that have to do that. I do that. We need breaks, you know, because you could kind of like feel like Instagram is the world and it's not. And you're constantly reminded when you exit out the app.

Damn, that's just one part. That's social media. You know what I mean? It takes over our lives and it plays a big part in our confidence. So I think you should do a lot more soul searching. You probably will not be in a relationship until you hit 30. That don't need to scare you. That just needs to motivate you. Stay on your path and figure out what you're doing with your life. Girl, you ain't got no kids. You work three jobs and you're going to school to be a fucking nail tech and you fucking worried about some love. You got three jobs, girl. How the

How the fuck you gonna spend time with girl? Listen, a man is a job too. A boyfriend is a job just like we jobs too. You know what I'm saying? So that's four jobs. Thank God you ain't got no damn kids. But you know what men do? They give you kids.

So your little 21-year-old butt need to stay on this arrow that you're on, stay on this path that you're on. Don't worry so much about it. And I'm looking at your picture. You are beautiful. All right. It's only from your head to the top of your chest, but you're beautiful. You're beautiful probably inside and out. I don't know you. I haven't met you, but you sound really concerned about nobody loving you. Girl, fuck that.

You got to love yourself because when you learn how to love yourself, and I mean the real way, because people hear this all the time. Oh, you got to love yourself. People say this to people all the time and they take it the wrong way. You got to love yourself. You got to love yourself. Oh, I do love myself. Like, nah, people get more defensive after hearing that than just actually listening. No, do you really know what it takes to love yourself? Because that's probably why your relationships fail. You said you're even just a sneaky link. I'm

No. You know, even if you want some dick just sometimes, sometimes maybe that's not what you need. Maybe shit fails for a reason. Start looking at it differently. That's not in your timing right now. You know what I'm saying? So, yeah, like I said, just do some more searching for who you are. You know, you're at the best time right now. And then you're also at the best time to lose some more weight if that's what you want to do. Shit, if you want to lose more weight, go do that. If you feel like that's why you ain't getting no men, lose some more. And then see.

And I guarantee you, you'll find it wasn't even your weight. It probably is your mind. It probably is the fact that you, like I say, you don't even know what you want out of a relationship. You love the idea of love. But I do hope everything works out for you and you do get everything that you want in life. Make sure you follow up and update me. Keep me posted. Thank you. If you love me, you'll listen to this commercial and then we'll be right back.

Here's a little secret. Most smartphone deals aren't that exciting. To be honest, they're barely worth mentioning. But then there's AT&T and their best deals. Those are quite exciting. They're the kind of deals that are worth talking about. Like their deal on the Samsung Galaxy Z Flip 6.

With this amazing deal, you can trade in your eligible smartphone any year, any condition for a new Samsung Galaxy Z Flip 6. It's so good, in fact, it'll have you shouting from the rooftops. So get yourself down to street level and learn how to snag the new Samsung Galaxy Z Flip 6 on AT&T and maybe grab a ladder on the way home.

AT&T. Connecting changes everything. Requires trading of Galaxy S, Note, or Z series smartphone. Limited time offer. 256 gigabytes for $0. Additional fees, terms, and restrictions apply. See att.com slash Samsung or visit an AT&T store for details.

Hibernation season is over and it's time to get some sun outside. Gather your crew and hit the road in the Spacious 2024 Nissan Pathfinder, your getaway to larger-than-life adventures. With spacious seating for eight and available panoramic moonroof,

Everyone can enjoy the journey and soak in the scenery of the great outdoors. Plus, with an available tour capacity of up to 6,000 pounds and an available intelligent four-wheel drive feature with seven drive modes, you can take your favorite toys while adventuring on new terrains.

Seize the thrill and start exploring with the 2024 Nissan Pathfinder today. Head over to NissanUSA.com to learn more. Intelligent all-wheel drive cannot prevent collisions or provide enhanced traction in all conditions. Always monitor traffic and weather conditions. Towing capacity varies by configuration. See Nissan Towing Guide and Owner's Manual for additional information. Always secure cargo. Seeing our communities grow and thrive is something we care deeply about here at Black Tech Green Money.

State Farm Insurance also cares about the growth of black communities. They're actively investing in programs and initiatives that help provide financial literacy, give early career advice, and grow black-owned businesses, thus leading to generational wealth, which helps protect the future of our communities. We want to build a future that we all can be proud of.

State Farm understands that representation alone doesn't equate to authenticity. It also requires active sponsorship of programs like the AXO, a year-long program that recognizes and rewards high school students for their academic and cultural achievements, along with funding programs like Project Ready, a National Urban League program committed to educational achievement of black and brown youth that has awarded over $11 million in scholarship offers to date.

State Farm believes that being better neighbors creates better communities and can have a long-lasting impact. Like a good neighbor, State Farm is there. I'm a good lawyer, and I want to win. I'm a savage. I think I killed GT.

She needs someone who's going to fight for her. If we don't follow the right plan, we lose. The hit series Reasonable Doubt, now streaming on Hulu. She was defending herself against a monster. Starring Emma Yatze-Coronalde. I'm the best lawyer you have ever worked with. And Morris Chestnut. I'm not gonna stop. I think I love it, love it. Never underestimate.

The power of attorney. Always bet on tax. Reasonable Doubt. New episodes Thursdays. Streaming only on Hulu. It's Ian's Ryan Seacrest here. People always say it's good to unwind, but that's easier said than done. The exception, Chumpa Casino. They actually make it easier done than said, or at least the same. Chumpa Casino is an online social casino with hundreds of casino-style games like

Moving on, last story.

Oh my god, I got all the babies today. Hey Jess, I'm 19 and I'm talking to this guy and I have intimacy issues. It's hard for me to open up. I've never been in a relationship before. So this part of intimacy is new and hard. It's hard to talk about my feelings.

I had a lot of trauma, so I don't want it to change our dynamic. The guy is amazing. I don't want him to think he is a problem. My question is, do you think I'm ready for a relationship or should I just continue to explore being alone for a bit longer? By the way, you can use this for the podcast in case you want consent. Oh, that's nice. Thank you. I was going to use it anyway, girl. I don't know your name, so that's good. Can't nobody see your face. But no, I appreciate you for reaching out.

And I'm happy that a lot of a lot more younger people are reaching out because this younger generation, they have they are facing a lot, you know, and they're seeing a lot. And they are much more exposed to a lot of shit, too, than we ever were, that I that I ever was at 19. You know, so they can really be the main ones that need some mental tending to, you know, it's a lot. It's a lot of shit that these babies are seeing. But, yeah, to get into what you have going on.

You've never been in a relationship before, so you don't really know what it takes. I understand. You got to think about it, though. Every person on this earth has been in that situation. Everybody ain't born with boyfriends. Everybody has to have has to jump in it some type of way. You know, every guy ain't born with no girlfriend. You know, everybody has to jump into it some type of way. You don't like talking about your feelings. You feel like that will hinder you from a healthy relationship. I think you need to dig deeper and figure out where that comes from.

You know, it doesn't have anything to do with your upbringing, with people that you grew up with. You constantly seeing things because I know you said you had trauma, you know, but you didn't go into depth about the trauma. And that's OK. I'm glad that you even you know, we don't have to. So obviously, you know, I just don't know what the trauma is from. It could it could be something more recent. It could be deeply rooted. But that's probably, you know, more than likely where it comes from.

And I understand you said this guy is amazing. He's understanding. You don't want him to think he's the problem. No, you don't. You don't because then...

In retrospect, that's not fair to him. But no, I don't think that you're ready for a relationship. I think you should start some counseling or you should start some therapy. There's nothing wrong with it. You see that you do have issues that you want to move past. You do see that. And that's good that you see that. A lot of people's fear of therapy is because they don't want to open up. They don't even want to go talk to somebody.

But this first step for you, you come into me. I think that's amazing. I do think that you should seek further therapy because I'm not a licensed professional. I can only give you good advice. Figure yourself out. Then you also still 19. I'm going to tell you like I told the last baby girl, you're 19. You got two more years till you hit 21.

But in my eyes, you're still a baby. I got a little sister that's 19, you know. And I just watching her navigate through her social life, you know, is way different than mine was, you know, when I was 19. We weren't doing the first. But y'all even look already. Y'all need to look 19.

Now, y'all starting to look like y'all already got BBLs and shit. You know what I mean? And y'all bodies just are just full figure like that. Y'all developing more. Y'all just exposed to everything. I don't know. So I do think that you just need to explore just being alone for a bit longer. And you already knew that. You just needed the clarity. And I'm here to give it to you, girl. So keep me updated. Let me know what's going on. Yeah, and don't mess that man up, girl. That's one good one. Obviously, don't mess him up.

Just fix yourself and go back and get them. Hold up, hold up. I know this shit getting good, but listen to just a couple seconds of a commercial. If you love me, you'll listen. Hibernation season is over and it's time to get some sun outside. Gather your crew and hit the road in the spacious 2024 Nissan Pathfinder. Your gateway to larger than life adventures. With spacious seating for eight and available panoramic moonroof, everyone can enjoy the journey and soak in the scenery of the great outdoors.

Plus, with an available towing capacity of up to 6,000 pounds and an available intelligent four-wheel drive feature with seven drive modes, you can take your favorite toys while adventuring on new terrains. Seize the thrill and start exploring with the 2024 Nissan Pathfinder today.

Head over to NissanUSA.com to learn more. Intelligent all-wheel drive cannot prevent collisions or provide enhanced traction in all conditions. Always monitor traffic and weather conditions. Towing capacity varies by configuration. See Nissan Towing Guide and Owner's Manual for additional information. Always secure cargo.

State Farm Insurance gets it. Representation alone doesn't equate to authenticity. State Farm understands and wants to help protect our communities by investing in our future, building off the hard work our parents have done before us. We all are looking to create generational wealth so that our families and generations behind us have a better starting point than we did. That begins with financial literacy.

State Farm helps fund programs like Project Ready, a National Urban League program committed to the educational achievement of Black and Brown youths.

To date, participants have been awarded over $11 million in scholarships offers as a direct result of contributions from State Farm. At Eating While Broke, we hear inspiring rags to riches stories on each episode from our guests. But with State Farm, you can begin to write your own success story. State Farm believes that being better neighbors creates better communities and have a long lasting impact. Like a good neighbor, State Farm is there.

I'm a good lawyer and I want to win. I think I killed GT.

I'm not going to stop. I think I love it, love it. Never underestimate the power of attorney. Always bet on Jags. Reasonable Doubt. New episodes Thursdays. Streaming only on Hulu.

The fall season. We don't have to let it happen yet. Because summer doesn't stop in Myrtle Beach, South Carolina. You can still get out and enjoy 60 miles of beaches, eat in the South's newest foodie haven with over 2,000 restaurants, and have endless fun at hundreds of attractions. Hold on to that sweet summer feeling a little longer at the beach. Myrtle Beach, South Carolina. Plan your trip at visitmyrtlebeach.com. That's visitmyrtlebeach.com.

MITRE is investing in a massive AI supercomputer to power a new federal AI sandbox. With AI's potential to drive transformational advances across industries, MITRE's expertise in healthcare, cybersecurity, transportation, finance, climate, and national security will be critical. Transform your career while helping solve problems for a safer world. Visit MITRE.org slash careers. That's M-I-T-R-E dot org slash careers.

So this last mess I'm going to fix is in person. Somebody actually came into the studio. And, you know, I'm trying this out because in fourth season, I may bring this to video. You know, I know we have Catholic Reckless audio, but for those who want to see, I may just do it. I don't know. I'm ready to see right now. It's going to be my first in-person mess to fix. So we'll see. Let's see.

Hey, Jess. So I have been in a long-term situation, ship, and I just need some advice on something that I really, you know, have been worried about for a while. And this is because of my own personal growth.

So in my relationship, I'm the more communicative person. And the other person is a person who needs time to walk away, right? That's the thing. Like, I need to get some space, clear my mind. And it's understandable, you know, that people, some people can't just get to the bottom of it real quick. They need time to see what they're going through. But it's like...

When does it get like, okay, now this is getting played out because if you think about it, the number one answer that older people who have successful relationships say is what? Communication. That's like the number one thing everybody say because you have to find a way to really find that balance to communicate. And it's like...

Well, thank God. Both of us is not like that. I can't. Let's avoid it. But one person is begging to communicate and the other person is not. So then that means that it has to be more of an aggressive exit, which is, oh, I'm going to hang up. I'm going to block you with some shit like that. Right. It's not like because I'm going to be like, no, I want to talk. And it's like, no, completely block you out. And you could be literally like sending messages like.

just talk to me it's okay it's fine let's just get this like it's not that big of a deal and you'll hear from them so it's like how do you deal with that going forward yeah that's actually a really really good one because i can see how both could feel you know i feel like you just described introvert versus extrovert but in a relationship that's not how it's supposed to be there needs to be a willingness

to come out of your shell a little bit more and open up like as this guy if I know that I'm with a person who is a big communicator all she does is communicate like it and I know I'm not I'm gonna try to meet her there

You know what I'm saying? Like, you know, and I understand because I was even like that. I was on both sides. I'm on more of your side now where I am communicating more. But at first I was the same way. I guess that's why I can kind of see where he would be coming from. But I had to change that. And I was willing to change that, meeting the right person. I was always aggressive and I was always just like, no, yo, I don't want to talk about it. I need time because some people sometimes some people want to be me.

That shit is fucked up, but some people want to be mad. They want to get it off. That's how some people get shit off their chest. He's not really a mediator because has he seen that shit growing up? Has he always been that way because his parents didn't talk to him? He just has never been in a place where he felt safe enough to open up. And I don't know your past. I don't even know his past, but from what you're telling me,

You kind of had a different upbringing than he did. I don't know whether that is household wise, parent, schooling, different groups of friends, you know, because anything can define who you are as an adult. It don't have to always be how you was raised. It could be you raised yourself. You know what I mean? It could be different people, different people that you met.

on your journey to becoming an adult and how they prophesied to you or seeing this person come from this walk of life. So like, it's just figuring out a person. Is this where you want to be? And you said y'all been in a relationship for a long time. Y'all not together now, but y'all were in a long-term relationship. Is this a place where you see yourself going back to or do you not

Are you conflicted at times? Because that can make you be with a person. I don't want to be with him this time, but I do want to be with him though. But when he do something to make you mad, it goes out the window and then he comes around and y'all talk about it. And then now you want to be with him again. Is that how, do you know you want to move forward with this person? Do you see a future with this person?

As I'm gaining more self-worth, I don't because like you said, when you just responded back, it's like you move differently now because of this love that you don't want to miss out on it. So I'm at a place where it's like I'm going to have to be okay with realizing that maybe I can't bring that out of him. And that hurts, right? Like that this man don't love me enough to be like, I want to work this out with her. I want to talk to her.

So I'm at a place now where I know my worth. Like, yes, I do have my shit, right? Like, I know. And even done in my communication. Like, you know, sometimes I can talk around to get to a point because I want us to get to a page without letting somebody go through it, right? And I'm learning it. And I'm more than happy. That's why I was like, you got to walk away. I get it. But it's the extra shit. Hang out, answer them. Like,

It creates too much of a, like, I get, I be hurt. I don't even be mad. I be hurt. Like, yo, this person, now I'm not going to talk to them for days. Now I got to be left here just like. Yeah. Yeah. And so when they calm down, like a few days later and I'm just like over it, you know.

That shit is not fair. Like I said, I used to do that. I used to do that to people and that shit is not fair because it now it leaves the person wondering whether or not you do actually really love them. Right.

Like, or do you even respect me? Because that's when things start getting disrespectful. It's the difference between an extrovert just shutting down versus the disrespect. You don't have to hang up. You don't have to block me. You don't have to not talk to me for days. What are you trying to prove a point? Because that's what it comes to. Now you're trying to prove a point. And then that's manipulative too, because those types of people always know what to do to get back in your good graces. Like they're selfish in a way, you know, and sometimes subconsciously selfish, you

And those people don't like to be told about themselves. I was selfish. I never liked to be told about myself. I didn't want to be in control, but I just wanted things to go my way and people to see shit my way all the time.

And shit ain't going to be like that. Not in the real world, not in your household, not at your job, not with your friends, because everybody thinks differently. Communication really is a big factor with love. Sometimes you can love a motherfucker, but you feel empty because you don't feel like you're being loved. If you don't hear me, you don't give me an opportunity to be heard. You're not listening. You don't want to listen. So you don't even want to find out what the problem is.

And then you don't want to fix it. And this is another note that really, really is a struggle for me because it's abuse. Yeah. Like, you know how like if your maybe parent spanked you, right? And they could have been wrong for it because they was doing it out of anger. Then they come back. I'm so sorry. Or somebody who's dating who's going through abuse. It's like, baby, next time I won't do it. It's literally that because you're coming back saying,

you're not even coming back apologize you just come back like hey and i'm over here like literally was hurt like i'm not over here man like a bitch is hurt crying about it and it's because it's like i actually like care about you and you're leaving me hanging right all because what you you just don't want to talk about it at all yeah you know it should be small even if it was big it's still okay to talk about it like you know do you think that he would need any benefit with uh from any type of therapy

Yes, absolutely. And I've recommended it all the time. What was his answer? To a cost money.

Oh, why? But there are certain therapy outlets that just take insurance. Some of them don't cost. And I had to explain that to him. And he was like, you know, he was into it. He was into it. So he did. Okay. Okay. So when you did explain it, he did like agree. Like, all right, well, I might look into it. Now, is that something that do you feel like he needs individually? Or do y'all want that's something that you would be open to doing with him? No, you need to like seek your own inner peace. And that's why I'm getting to a point where my self-worth that I'm like,

No, like I haven't met. But now it's always to me that a man will actually talk to me. So in my next relationship, I'm going to anticipate him being like, I'm going to, I feel like I'm going to pull back on my communication because I think he's going to be like, nah, I, you know, I don't really want to talk about it. Instead of me being like, instead of him being like, let's talk about it. Like I'm going to be happy about it, but it's going to be hard like going into it. Cause I'm going to think that like, it's just going to create some type of conflict, you know?

So then that's you being scarred, like, like subconsciously, like you're scarred from that. And that could also build insecurities for the next man from you. You know, you can also project onto other people what you've been through in your last relationship. So do you feel like you need to heal in this before you even, you know, well, are you even trying to date first of all? Yeah.

I'm just waiting on God's time and I'm not looking no more. I'm not even looking for him. You know, I just, I just want to, whatever is meant for me and my energy. That's why I'm trying to change my energy around to match. If you're not matching it, then I'm going to have to just call him, go and get out of this, you know, but not even as friends at this point because friends don't treat each other that way.

Right. Yep. And that is what defines a foundation in a relationship to actually being a person's friend, because it gets very, very toxic when you're in a relationship with somebody and y'all get mad at each other and you feel like y'all broke up.

You feel like he don't love you when he mad at you. Or you feel like she don't love you when she mad at you. It should never be that way because friends don't do each other. Now friends fuss, friends fight, friends supposed to get back good. If you go into it just straight intimacy, you skip all that building foundation and all that shit, it's never going to work because you're supposed to know somebody deeper than what you can see.

Like, it's like, I know what I want to say, but I, you know, y'all listeners like bear with me. You know, if you can see through all the fucking like intimacy and what's on outside, oh, he looks sexy and he's in and oh, she can cook and, and oh, he got his own this, that and the other. And if you strip down all that shit, y'all didn't have anything together.

Like, y'all go through shit together and shit. Then that's what makes you a friend, you know, like being able to withstand trials and shit together and obstacles together and being able in one legs, like pick up that slack and shit like that. So that's what I feel like. No, everything you said was real about the whole friendship thing. And it's not but all love, you know, which is the end of it all.

is you would think that all of that meant something when you do have these moments, right? I'm trying like I'm tribulation. And in this situation, it's given very much. It does it. We built this friendship up. Like the friendship is way more of a priority to me than a relationship. Right. But you know this, right? So, you know that this is a big thing for me and you still,

Like, so all that we went through as friends is still don't make it enough for you to want to talk to me. Because you should be, if I'm your friend, you're my friend too. So you should be like, shit, no, I don't want us to be beefing. Right. So that's the part of it all. It goes back to like, really, he doesn't love me the way I love him. Right, right.

And he's still stuck in that relationship part of it. You know, like, because even I think that's still even bigger view to be like, all right, look, we just need to be friends. All right. Like, I want to focus on the friends. And like, so ladies, look, she's still even trying to find a way to. Well, she was, you know, was trying to even still find a way to make it comfortable for him. Do you see how we like sometimes indirectly bend over backwards for these men?

You know, and we still don't get the credit. We still don't get flowers. We still don't get even acknowledgement at times. Like, yo, I'm trying to figure this shit out for you. I know how to fucking communicate. I know. And we've been friends for the past, what, 10 plus years, five plus years, whatever. And we've been together. You know, it's like, fuck, you would think you had some type of respect for me or some type of like love.

loyalty to the point where it's like, yo, no, I owe her this because we came up, like, we, you know, we've been through shit together, so I feel you, some bonds are supposed to be unbreakable, but like you said, ultimately, it's you loving him more than he loves you, or him not being able to even love you like you should be loved, or how you love him,

And that's just the short end of the stick that us women has. We have to bear with that sometimes or we fucking don't. We move on. But then you're still mentally held captive to a person who manipulates you into never letting them go. You know what I mean? Some type of weird way. I'm gonna keep this leash on her. Not because they just want to torture you because they really fucking want you to. They just don't know how.

They don't know. They don't know how to say it. They don't know how to show it, but they know what they want and they expect for you to read their fucking mind. You know what I mean? They expect for that. But no, we want to be coddled. We want to be fucking pampered at times. I want you to read my fucking mind at times. I want you to say, all right, yo, you ain't going away until we talk about this. I want you to initiate that fucking communication all the time because then it's going to feel like I wear the fucking...

pants all the time, I shouldn't have to wear the pants, I want a man to lead, that's what you want, you want a man to lead you, and you talk about that you're on your spiritual journey, and you talk about that, you know, you want somebody else spiritual too, you want your man to be like, nah, we ain't leaving out the south until we pray together, where you going at, babe, you know, you know, we pull off, you know, you want that,

And you're going to get that. You can get that. You know, some men make us feel like it's impossible. It's not, you know, so I want you to check back in too. We come to the end of another carefully reckless episode with your girl, Jess. Hilarious. I'm fixing mess, not only on the Black Effect Network, but on BET as well. Check me out on Breakfast Club. I love you guys. I'll see you next week. Peace.

I'm a good lawyer and I want to win. I think I killed JT.

She needs someone who's going to fight for her. If we don't follow the right plan, we lose. The hit series Reasonable Doubt, now streaming on Hulu. She was defending herself against a monster. Starring Emma Yatze Coronaldi. I'm the best lawyer you have ever worked with. And Morris Chestnut. I'm not gonna stop. I think I love it, love it. Never underestimate.

The power of attorney. Always bet on Jax. Reasonable Doubt. New episodes Thursdays. Streaming only on Hulu. Gear up for outdoor adventures with the 2024 Nissan Pathfinder. This midsize SUV is designed for epic journeys, offering spacious seating for eight. Available for purchase

panoramic moonroof and an available intelligent four-wheel drive feature with seven drive modes to take your off-road experience to new heights. Discover the 2024 Nissan Pathfinder at NissanUSA.com. Intelligent all-wheel drive cannot prevent collisions or provide enhanced traction in all conditions. Always monitor traffic and weather conditions. Towing capacity varies by configuration. See Nissan Towing Guide and Owner's Manual for additional information. Always secure cargo. Most deals are barely worth mentioning.

But then there's AT&T's best deal on the new Samsung Galaxy Z Flip 6 featuring FlexCam with Galaxy AI. You can get it on them when you trade in your eligible smartphone any year, any condition. It's a deal so good you'll be... Shout out!

on my rooftop. So, grab a ladder and learn how to get that new phone on AT&T. AT&T, connecting changes everything. Requires trade-in of Galaxy S, Note, or Z series smartphone. Limited time offer. 256GB for $0. Additional fees, terms, and restrictions apply. See att.com slash Samsung or visit an AT&T store for details. Music

The fall is creeping up on us, but we don't have to give in just yet because summer doesn't stop in Myrtle Beach, South Carolina. You can still get out and enjoy 60 miles of beaches, eat in the South's newest foodie haven with over 2,000 restaurants, and have endless fun at hundreds of attractions. Hold on to that sweet summer feeling a little longer at the beach. Myrtle Beach, South Carolina. Plan your trip at visitmyrtlebeach.com. That's visitmyrtlebeach.com.

Vitamin Water was born in New York because New Yorkers wanted more. Like more flavor to go with all the flavor. A refreshing drink after climbing six flights of stairs to a walk-up apartment or standing in the subway station in 100 degree heat. Drink Vitamin Water. It's from New York.