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She needs someone who's going to fight for her. If we don't follow the right plan, we lose. The hit series Reasonable Doubt, now streaming on Hulu. She was defending herself against a monster. Starring Emma Yatze Coronaldi. I'm the best lawyer you have ever worked with. And Morris Chestnut. I'm not gonna stop. I think I love it, love it. Never underestimate.
The power of attorney. Always bet on Jags. Reasonable Doubt. New episodes Thursdays. Streaming only on Hulu. Gear up for outdoor adventures with the 2024 Nissan Pathfinder. This midsize SUV is designed for epic journeys, offering spacious seating for eight, available panoramic moonroof, and an available intelligent four-wheel drive feature with seven drive modes to take your off-road experience to new heights. Discover the 2024 Nissan Pathfinder at NissanUSA.com.
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Welcome to Carefully Reckless, the production of iHeartRadio and The Black Effect.
Oh shit, we back on the air. Welcome back to yet another Carefully Reckless Session with your girl, Jess Hilarious. Now listen, I took a week off because between the holidays and everything else I had going on, I just launched a new business, Messy Eyewear.
It is my own optical line. I'm selling glasses, frames. I just added some shades to my inventory. Like it's a lot going on. I know if anybody can understand all of you hard workers out there who listen to me on your way to work, do understand or on your way home from work, you know? So I just had to take the time to explain to you guys because I don't want to leave y'all in the dark.
Now, as y'all know, I just recently closed on an estate that's a huge home in Maryland where I still am.
So I wanted to do Thanksgiving and I've never, ever hosted for Thanksgiving, like cooked everything, serve, clean. Like I've never, you know, entertained and had games and all that, you know, fun and all that type of stuff. I've never been head of something like that. And I actually did it and I loved it. My parents came, my cousin, my son's dad, my best friend. Like I had my family there and it was no negative vibes. Listen, I didn't even get on Instagram for Thanksgiving.
I took a break not only from Carefully Reckless, but from socials period. So, you know, I got a lot of work to catch up on and I do want to say first and foremost that I am sorry that I left y'all hanging, but it was for a good reason. So we're going to jump right in because I'm back to fixing mess. This person wants to stay anonymous, duh. Now she gets straight down to business. She didn't introduce herself. She didn't tell me what the shit was going to be about. She don't have no intro. This is where it starts off, I swear to God.
Fast forward, everything was going great. We had sex. Then weeks later, he texts me out the blue saying this isn't going to work. I was devastated because I really liked him and could see us together long term. Shortly after we stopped talking, I found out I was pregnant. I reached out to him immediately to let him know. We struggled with deciding to keep the baby or not. In the end, we kept our son. Best decision we could have made.
But then he throws a bombshell at me, letting me know that he has someone else pregnant as well and was sleeping with her during the same time we were dating. Unfortunately, she ended up having a miscarriage. I actually recently just had our son. I contemplated on truly telling him how I feel because I want us to be a family. And he showed signs that he does too.
He thinks if we get together, it would only be for the kid because he is there for my daughter as well. But I don't think so. My feelings for him never went away. He then tells me after our son was born that when our son was two weeks old, that he was dating his ex again. But they're not together now. But he acts like he wants to be a family with me and the kids. Should I let it go or move on?
OK, well, I think it's quite simple. Sometimes I feel like y'all just have to hear me read y'all shit back to y'all, because listening to this, what the hell do you think you should do, girl? Now, if a man is just showing signs that he wants a family, if he's just just a mind you keyword, just just.
If he's just a.k.a. only showing you signs and not voicing it verbally that he wants to be with you and he wants to be a family, then that's not really what he wants. See, a person, not even only a man, a person. All right. Man and woman. When we want something, we get it no matter what. And if we want it bad enough, we speak it into existence. We long for it. We crave it. We make time for it.
It's not an option. It's literally a priority. So you would know if that's what he wants. You seem very unsure when you speak about what he wants, but you are certain when you speak about what you want. Now, I have a couple of questions for you and you're going to have to come back and write me because I'm a little confused. You say when you first started the story.
Fast forward everything. But see, you can't fast forward because I don't know how long you guys been dating. Because if I'm just going off of what you said, you kind of caught feelings a little quickly. And that's probably because you guys were having unprotected sex. Oh, yeah. People don't understand. There's a release of energy and hormones that you swap that goes out of a woman into a man and vice versa. When you have unprotected sex, you're attaching yourself to
Okay. Men can do this far better than women can. Women.
You have sex with a condom. Okay. It may be a little easier to detach yourself, but sex is very personal, very sensual. It's mental and more emotional for women than it is for men most of the time. So you're attaching yourself to him. And you didn't tell me how long you guys have been together. You didn't tell me where you met. You didn't tell me anything. So now I don't know any red flags other than the fact that after y'all had sex, not too long after, did he tell you that y'all may need a break?
That's because he was probably cheating on somebody with you. He was dealing with you, but there was someone before you, trust me, because you then later find out after you had your son that he was actually involved with his ex. And even after your son was born. So we had lied about it. He had eventually come clean.
but I think you should let it go because this is a back and forth thing. You don't want this to be a Tara, Mina and Peter situation. You don't want that. I don't know if you guys are familiar with Love & Hip Hop New York, but Amina, Tara and Peter was like a love triangle. You know, he had babies with Tara.
And then he would go back and forth. He married this new girl named Amina without Tara's knowledge of knowing anything, but he was supposedly still in a relationship with Tara. Went to go marry someone, got her pregnant,
Then goes back to Tara when him and Amina ain't doing good or when they are doing good. He's just having his cake and eating it too. He's bouncing between two women, but getting them pregnant each time. So I think they each have like three kids. No, Amina has two kids by him and Tara has three or four. I think Tara has, cause she had two to begin with by him. You know, either way, you don't want that type of situation. All three of them are doing way better now. And I love all three of them by the way, but,
You don't want to be caught in a situation like that. Because as long as a man is able to be on and off in your life, he will. That's not something he'll ever cut off. You have to do it. And I think what he said is right.
He said he thinks if you guys got together, it would only be for the kids because he is there for your daughter as well, which is good. That's good that he's a stand up guy and he also accepted your package along with you. But that doesn't mean you have to accept his baggage along with him. He's not going to leave his ex alone. I feel that they are bonded in another way because they miscarried their baby.
That's not an easy pill to swallow. That's very hard, you know? And I don't know the circumstances. You didn't really tell me everything, but I do know that this does not look good for you if you proceed to pursue this as a relationship. He's already telling you everything you need to know. It doesn't matter about the signs that he shows. I mean, that's just good sex. I mean, that's because he knows he has you right there for whenever. But I think you should check back in with me
And let me know how it goes. I think you need to pay attention to red flags and signs. I think you so busy wanting that family dynamics so bad that you're, you're turning a blind eye to everything else that he's doing. You know what I'm saying? You're making it out not to be that bad and it will end miserably for you if you keep yourself in this, you know? So,
So check back in with me. Let me know. Give me a little bit more clarity on the backstory of you and your man or whatever he is, her man, your man, whatever. Let me know. Now we got a commercial. And if you click off this podcast, I swear I'm gonna beat your ass. Listen.
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State Farm Insurance gets it. Representation alone doesn't equate to authenticity. State Farm understands and wants to help protect our communities by investing in our future, building off the hard work our parents have done before us. We all are looking to create generational wealth so that our families and generations behind us have a better starting point than we did. That begins with financial literacy.
State Farm helps fund programs like Project Ready, a National Urban League program committed to the educational achievement of Black and Brown youth.
To date, participants have been awarded over $11 million in scholarships offers as a direct result of contributions from State Farm. At Eating While Broke, we hear inspiring rags to riches stories on each episode from our guests. But with State Farm, you can begin to write your own success story. State Farm believes that being better neighbors creates better communities and have a long lasting impact. Like a good neighbor, State Farm is there.
I'm a good lawyer and I want to win. I think I killed G.T.
She needs someone who's going to fight for her. If we don't follow the right plan, we lose. The hit series Reasonable Doubt, now streaming on Hulu. She was defending herself against a monster. Starring Emma Yatze-Corinaldi. I'm the best lawyer you have ever worked with. And Morris Chestnut. I'm not gonna stop. I think I love it, love it. Never underestimate the power of attorney. Always bet on tax. Reasonable Doubt, new episodes Thursdays, streaming only on Hulu.
MITRE's mission is to solve problems for a safer world. If you have a passion for applied cybersecurity with skills in infrastructure threat intelligence, deterrence technologies, advisal threat emulation, or intelligence analysis, explore the many challenging and fulfilling career opportunities at MITRE.org slash careers. That's M-I-T-R-E dot org slash careers.
Moving on. Hey Jess, I've been celibate kind of by choice for almost a year now and this shit is difficult. I have a baby daddy that I would like to use for the parallel tango.
But we ended things rocky. We had a very hostile, very volatile relationship at times. So that kind of make me think twice on the fuck buddy situation. So should I just keep on waiting for the one to come along or should I just get my rocks off with baby daddy?
It's too much stuff going around these days, so that's why I want to stick to someone I know. And it's hard being celibate, especially when I'm ovulating. I hate being a woman sometimes. Also, even though we ended things rocky, we're still cool with each other. Please help me figure this out. Thank you.
And then she sent another message. Sorry, last thing, though, don't have to be included with the mess unless you want. But on your last episode of Fix My Mess, the girl with the inconsistent baby daddy sounds a lot like mine, like to the T. Could you ask her if his name is Corey? Because he never told me about having another child or baby mother. I'm trying to see something. Thank you in advance. Girl, no, girl.
I ain't asking her that. That is so funny. Let's get back to your mess and then we'll address Corey and them.
Okay, so you have a baby daddy that you do, but you don't want to jump back in bed with because y'all had a toxic ending, a rocky ending. I wouldn't call it toxic. Okay, y'all had a rocky ending. Okay, well, it doesn't matter if you guys had a rocky ending. How are you guys with co-parenting? Because you said y'all are still cool and all that. But if y'all cool with each other, but not cool enough to have sex every now and then, that means it ended.
on some infidelity type shit. That means it ended where you can't trust him, but you know him, so you're most comfortable with him. There are a lot of things going out here these days, and your baby father could be one of the carriers of what the fuck is going on out here. Damn. You never know, because you haven't had sex with him in a year. So that's kind of like having sex with someone new, too. I'm pretty sure you don't know everyone that he sleeps with, you don't know everything that he does, and he don't know your every move either. I
I know being celibate is hard. I actually did it for 11 months one time. It is hard, but that's when I introduced myself to toys. Now, if you're not one of those women who don't enjoy self-pleasure, you know, and
And, you know, we got all types of toys, bullets, roses, all types of goddamn toys out here. If you don't like to partake in that kind of stuff, I do understand there was a time that I wasn't comfortable to play with a toy either because I didn't know where my own spot was. I didn't know, like, what spots to hit. I thought that I needed a man to sexually satisfy me. I really was under that impression that a toy could never do that because before you get introduced to toys, you're like,
who fucks themselves? Like who, who literally takes enjoyment and pleasuring themselves. But if you don't know how, then I get it. If you feel like you're ready to break your celibacy, then do so. I will not hold you to the chains of celibacy. If that's something that you want, you know, now you are a woman and yes, we do have needs just like men.
But just like you're back and forth in your mind about fucking your baby daddy, that would be anybody that you would meet. You can jump on a dating site, meet somebody. You can start going out, meeting people, shit like that. I would take my chances. I'm just going to let you know what I would do because I don't have really a concrete answer for you because it's something you ain't telling me about you and that baby daddy. But this is what I would do.
I would meet someone new and let them know up front what I want, you know? And then however it goes is however it goes. I remember doing that with my last relationship. I only wanted sex from Daniel. That was, you know, my most recent relationship. I only wanted sex with him and then I fell in love with his ass. Like, you know what I'm saying? But I was up front with what I wanted. And so was he. We both never really wanted a relationship from the jump.
That's just something that we developed as we went along to get to know each other as friends. And as two friends that was having sex, two people that were having sex every now and then. Well, a little bit more than every now and then. You know what I'm saying? So I think it's worth giving it a shot, meeting somebody new. Now, if you don't feel like doing that work,
Then that's fine because you do have to get to know anybody that you lay down with. Yes, these days, back in the days, in the future days, whatever. I don't really think that anybody should go around just having sex with people that they don't know. However, like I said, girl, you don't know what the fuck your baby daddy been into. And I also understand that there are a lot of things going around out here, but there are also a lot of condoms still being sold too. Unless you just ain't one of them. I advise you to protect yourself, whatever you do.
And then if you really don't have no real intention on ever opening that door with you on your baby daddy again, I wouldn't do that anyway. I would stay away from that because then that prohibits both of you from future relationships outside of each other.
Y'all always going to start having these feelings come back because y'all about to start being intimate again. You could get pregnant again because obviously you don't like condoms. All right? No, I'm joking. I'm joking. But you got to really, really sit and think about it. Is it worth me laying down with Corey again? Will he suspect that we're trying to get back together? Will that then open the door for me to have all these feelings to come back? You have to think and be careful about that. And
Anyway, check back in with me, girl. But I'll check on that Corey situation. I'll reach out to the girl and I'll let you know. Have a good day. Hold up, hold up. I know this shit getting good, but listen to just a couple seconds of a commercial. If you love me, you'll listen. Hibernation season is over and it's time to get some sun outside. Gather your crew and hit the road in the spacious 2024 Nissan Pathfinder. Your getaway to larger than life adventures with spacious seating for eight and available panoramic moonroof.
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Seize the thrill and start exploring with the 2024 Nissan Pathfinder today. Head over to NissanUSA.com to learn more. Intelligent all-wheel drive cannot prevent collisions or provide enhanced traction in all conditions. Always monitor traffic and weather conditions. Towing capacity varies by configuration. See Nissan Towing Guide and Owner's Manual for additional information. Always secure cargo.
State Farm Insurance gets it. Representation alone doesn't equate to authenticity. State Farm understands and wants to help protect our communities by investing in our future, building off the hard work our parents have done before us. We all are looking to create generational wealth so that our families and generations behind us have a better starting point than we did. That begins with financial literacy.
State Farm helps fund programs like Project Ready, a National Urban League program committed to the educational achievement of Black and Brown youth.
To date, participants have been awarded over $11 million in scholarships offers as a direct result of contributions from State Farm. At Eating While Broke, we hear inspiring rags to riches stories on each episode from our guests. But with State Farm, you can begin to write your own success story. State Farm believes that being better neighbors creates better communities and have a long lasting impact. Like a good neighbor, State Farm is there.
I'm a good lawyer and I want to win. I think I killed G.T.
She needs someone who's going to fight for her. If we don't follow the right plan, we lose. The hit series Reasonable Doubt, now streaming on Hulu. She was defending herself against a monster. Starring Emma Yatze-Corinaldi. I'm the best lawyer you have ever worked with. And Morris Chestnut. I'm not gonna stop. I think I love it, love it. Never underestimate the power of attorney. Always bet on tax. Reasonable Doubt, new episodes Thursdays, streaming only on Hulu.
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Moving on to the last one. Hey, Jess, I need you to fix my mess. So I have an ex that we'll just call A. We dated for about a year and a half back in 2019. We broke up mostly because we grew apart. However, at that time, I started having an emotional relationship with someone else. And he was also texting a previous ex of his. Despite the situation, we did end on good terms and have remained friends, even casually hooking up here and there.
Here is where it gets messy. My ex, A, has a girlfriend. He started dating her a couple months after we ended things. I'm not proud to say we have hooked up several times during their relationship. And recently he messaged me telling me that he misses me. He misses our relationship and wants to spend time with me. Not just sexually. When we were together, he was going through a very rough time and I stuck with him through it all.
I never stopped loving him, and I believe the feeling is mutual. However, I recently started dating someone who I really enjoy spending time with, and he treats me like nobody ever has. Not to say my ex treated me bad, because he didn't, but our relationship wasn't perfect. Also, from the first date, it was like we instantly clicked. So, what do I do, Jess? Do I talk to my ex to see how serious he is and where he sees things going? Or just move on with my new boo, who we'll call D. Ha ha!
And I also forgot to add the mess my male best friend of about 20 years recently expressed to me and my father that he has feelings for me. And I can't say I don't feel the same, but he also explained that he's scared to ruin our friendship, which I am too. However, I find him very attractive and we have shared explicit photos and videos with each other and still talk frequently to this day. Girl, you're a goddamn busybody, okay?
First of all, you're not even in the love triangle, baby. You're in the love square. How is you and three niggas? All right. Now, wait a minute. I got to go one nigga at a time. I can't be...
Jesus Christ. All right, let's start from the beginning. So your ex-boyfriend, A, y'all were together. I get that. And y'all dated for a year and a half. You saying y'all broke up because y'all grew apart. But before y'all broke up, y'all both was talking to other people. He was talking to an ex and you had started talking to somebody that you had been interested in. So y'all ended up breaking up, like you said, but on good terms.
He got in a relationship with somebody and then you got in a relationship with somebody, but y'all still both cheat on y'all partners with each other. Let me tell you why that is, because nobody can just get over someone that easily. Now, you were there for him. He was going through a dark time. You never stopped loving him. So y'all shared a different type of bond. Okay.
So I imagine he doesn't have anybody else who's ever done that for him. I may be wrong, but he'll always have a special place in his heart for you because you were there when he was down and he was going through that rough and dark time. And people do need those type of people. You need friends. You need family. You need support when you're going through times like that. And you obviously never left him feeling down. You always were there. That's something he'll never forget. So that's why.
No matter who he's with, he'll always cheat with you. No matter what. Okay? Now, you...
Now you do know what you reap is what you sow. And you said that you knew that he had a girlfriend, yet you were still sleeping with him. But y'all were cheating on each other when y'all were with each other. So y'all just a bunch of damn cheaters anyway. So I ain't got to give you no advice on that because girl, you all over the place. Then you got a damn best friend that came out the goddamn woodwork and told you and your dad that he loved you. And you said, I can't say I don't feel the same. Well, how the hell do you feel the same about him that he feel about you?
But you're debating on leaving the nigga that you with right now for your ex-a. I can't keep up with you. Now, you got to stop this now. The question is, what do you want? Are you ready to settle down and be in a relationship? Are you? Are you ready? And even when you do get in a relationship and settle down, are you still going to cheat?
With A or anybody or B. B, I'm going to give best friend B because, you know, that's best friend. Because I'm pretty sure D don't know that you cheating on him with A. And I'm pretty sure A don't know that you really secretly in love with B. You need to really self-internalize everything. You need to just sit and think about what it is that you really want. Are you even ready to be in a relationship? That's why people have to stop thinking that love is just a game. Okay. You have to stop thinking that.
And you may not even realize that's how you treat it, but you're treating this like a game almost, babe. This is like a competition. And there's three different guys on the line who obviously all three of them love you and you love all three of them, you know, but you need to really, really figure out what it is that you want so you can be in the right mind when you choose the right one. Okay.
Girl, check back in because you a busybody, all right? And just like that, we come to the end of yet another Carefully Reckless Just Fix My Mess session. It's been good. Tune in each and every Wednesday. And in my deepest Pam voice, peace. Carefully Reckless is a production of iHeartRadio and The Black Effect. For more podcasts from iHeartRadio, visit the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you listen to your favorite shows.
I'm not going to stop. I think I love it, love it. Never underestimate.
The power of attorney. Always bet on Jags. Reasonable Doubt. New episodes Thursdays. Streaming only on Hulu. Gear up for outdoor adventures with the 2024 Nissan Pathfinder. This midsize SUV is designed for epic journeys, offering spacious seating for eight, available panoramic moonroof, and an available intelligent four-wheel drive feature with seven drive modes to take your off-road experience to new heights. Discover the 2024 Nissan Pathfinder at NissanUSA.com.
Intelligent all-wheel drive cannot prevent collisions or provide enhanced traction in all conditions. Always monitor traffic and weather conditions. Towing capacity varies by configuration. See Nissan Towing Guide and Owner's Manual for additional information. Always secure cargo. Most deals are barely worth mentioning.
But then there's AT&T's best deal on the new Samsung Galaxy Z Flip 6 featuring FlexCam with Galaxy AI. You can get it on them when you trade in your eligible smartphone any year, any condition. It's a deal so good you'll be shouting!
So grab a ladder and learn how to get that new phone on AT&T. AT&T connecting changes. Everything requires trade in of galaxy S note or Z series smartphone limited time offer 256 gigabytes for $0 additional fees, terms and restrictions apply. Zatt.com slash Samsung or visit an AT&T store for details.
MITRE's mission is to solve problems for a safer world. If you have a passion for applied cybersecurity with skills in infrastructure threat intelligence, deterrence technologies, advisal threat emulation, or intelligence analysis, explore the many challenging and fulfilling career opportunities at MITRE.org slash careers. That's M-I-T-R-E dot org slash careers.
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