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She needs someone who's going to fight for her. If we don't follow the right plan, we lose. The hit series Reasonable Doubt, now streaming on Hulu. She was defending herself against a monster. Starring Emma Yatze-Coronalde. I'm the best lawyer you have ever worked with. And Morris Chestnut. I'm not gonna stop. I think I love it, love it. Never underestimate.
The power of attorney. Always bet on Jax. Reasonable Doubt. New episodes Thursdays. Streaming only on Hulu. Welcome to Can't Believe Reckless, the production of iHeartRadio and The Black Effect. ♪
And just like that, we're back on the air. Welcome back to yet another carefully reckless episode with your girl, Jess Hilarious. We're going to jump straight into Jess Fix My Mess. Now, this is very interesting because one of my girls sent me something. I'm just going to call you my girl because I don't want to say your name. This story is very heartfelt. I definitely can help you. I think I can. But I'm going to tell you a story.
She sent in voice notes, which I want to tell you guys, if you're listening, that's much easier than me reading your story. And it also adds more value to your story because then I get to hear the emotion through your story that you're telling me. So start sending voice notes if you want. If you don't want me to hear your voice, you can send texts. I mean, you know, you can send messages, you can type it. But I think it's very interesting. And I really love that she sent voice.
voice notes. She does not mind that I put her voice on my podcast. So she says, okay, Jess, y'all ready? Get y'all a drink. This shit about to be crazy. Okay, Jess. So I'm also from the DMV area. So let's just get to it. So
a little bit over a year ago, I had met this guy. We was both working at the same job. He worked the shift after me. So he would steady coming in for like a good three weeks. He would come in like 20 minutes early to sit there, talk to me. You know, he would just chop it up with me or whatever. So at first I was like, you know, I don't really want to talk to him. I had just already got out of five year relationship and I don't want to
It always seems like I need to be in a relationship because I love myself, but I just love the feeling of being loved by somebody else because I have so much love. I have a lot of love to give. But anyway, I start talking to him. We get serious fast.
So I have two children and he has this one child. So during our relationship, his baby mother was toxic. She will call at 2 a.m. for a dick, which he never answered it, but it was still very toxic. You know, it's still disrespectful. Like I try to kind of stay out of it because they can't co-parent for anything. So I didn't want to make it worse, but she
She's very childish. She's very immature. They have a baby that's like not even three. So it's already still fresh emotion. Like I'm very aware. I'm not naive to people's feelings. Like I'm a human myself. I understand things.
So, you know, she would just do ignorant shit, ratchet shit. She would wear a bucket for real. So we're just dealing with that in our relationship. Like everybody's rooting for us to win. Like we're a perfect couple. So about our 10th month in, remind you, we're only dating for 11 months, almost a year. So our 10th month in.
This girl has a child. It's a little boy. Come to find out, it is my boyfriend's. And it is also his baby mother's cousin. And I'm not talking about a cousin down the line. I'm talking about, like, the cousin. Like, y'all got the same grandma at the end of the day. Like, it's a big family, but y'all still cousins.
So that was a hard pill to swallow. So I felt like around our last month together, it really made me step away. It really made me step back. And I understood what kind of man I had in front of me now, but it was his consequences that was catching up to him. So in our last month, I transitioned more from a girlfriend into more of the friend because I felt like
You know, everybody has something to say. Everybody has a fucking opinion. Everybody has to speak on something. Whether it is or it's not, you know, if it's right or it's wrong, you know, you should have never slept with that girl. But at the end of the day, that's something that you made that cannot be undone. So, like, it's really have driven us in between each other, honestly. And nobody even knows this. My mom does, but...
I still have been seeing him. He's told me he haven't went back with them, but like he's moved away. But when he comes here, like I see him, I let him stay at my house. I fucking retwist his dreads for him for free. I make dinner for him. I do wife shit. But I heard that he was also sleeping with somebody close to my family. So now it's like it's a vicious cycle going on. Like
Like, I kind of knew from day one, like, maybe I shouldn't talk to him, but I gave him a chance. But now it's like, you're sleeping with my cousin. And it's just crazy because, like, he projects all his tendencies and his ways onto me. So it's like, he don't understand. Like, he's telling on himself and I see it. Like, and I asked him if he's sleeping with her. You know, people say a lot.
But as you, the man that I'm sleeping with, like, you should be honest and be able to tell me the truth. But that cycle that you've been doing, you haven't been able to be honest with anybody or yourself, let's be real. So now I'm kind of at the point, like, I'm tired of being disrespected. Like, I know I don't hold him down to the world. Like, I know I don't broadcast that I see him. But I feel like it could be very detrimental to me if I said that. Just in the sense that there's no loyalty with me anymore.
For me, when it comes to this situation, and it's like, when he, like, writes me, it's like, I'm always the one that's steady talking about I miss you, and he's always just like, I miss you too, but it's never that sentimental stuff that I'm getting out of him. And now it's like the text messages, like, they're so disrespectful, but it's hard, and I don't know if anybody gonna understand me, but, like, it's so ties involved. Like, I feel like I need to block these, like...
I ain't never had a soul tie. And honestly, I've been in love a lot of times. I've been hurt a lot of times. But I never have had somebody have so much emotion over me.
It's tough pill to swallow.
I don't know, Jess. Tell me what you think I should do. I feel like I need to go see somebody, like, spiritual and just, like, have soul ties removed. Or I don't know if it's all in my head, but... Okay. So I'm going to stop your message right there.
Because the last thing that you said is literally what I want to say to you, what I want you to keep repeating, repeating, repeating, because you make your reality what it's supposed to be, not him. You're giving him way too much power over you. But before I get there, yes, this is all in your head, baby. This shit is in your head. There is no way that you could be tied, equally yoked, tied together with a soul like that.
You're not even getting loyalty reciprocated. Like nothing that you do is reciprocated. As I sit and I kept my mouth shut for a long time. That's my third time listening to that. But I wanted to put it on the podcast, of course, because that is why you sent it here. Starting from the beginning, baby mother calling them at 2 a.m. for Dick.
You can't even blame her for that. You have him to blame for that because she's still getting it. She never stopped getting it. They just not together. But she never stopped getting that dick. That's why she is so comfortable calling him all times of night, all times of day, asking to be fucked. That's never going to go away as long as he keeps fucking with her.
Nobody's just doing that. Now, there are baby mother, baby father relationships where this happens. The woman is delusional and never gets over the guy and still tries her hand years and years down the damn line. However, this guy is still dealing with his baby mother. Okay? The daughter is three.
She's still so young and precious. You even said it. There are still feelings there and you know that, but you are not one to judge. You're not one to just make that a deal breaker, although you need to. He's somewhat obligated to her and he uses that as leverage to fuck with this girl. And that's why whether she's a bucket or a ratchet bitch or a clown or not, whatever, bottom of the totem pole ass bitch, whatever she is, he gonna keep on fucking with her.
So you can't even get angry with her. Moving on. You said we're the perfect couple. People are rooting for us. Just because someone is rooting for you does not mean that is where you need to be. Just because you look like a perfect couple, just because the image is held up, just because he's fine and you sexy, just because the dick is good, just because y'all look good together does not make y'all a good couple. And I know that's exactly what you meant.
When you said people are rooting for you, we're the perfect couple. I bet these people that's doing all the rooting don't know what you just told me. And when they hear this shit, they're going to take back all the roots they done put out there for y'all. All right? Another baby. Another baby. You just found out he had an 11-month-old by his baby mother's cousin. You think you sold time to somebody like that? No, seriously.
You think there's a spiritual anything in that? No. You said it was a hard pill to swallow. Why did you swallow it? Why? These are choices. These are choices that you can make.
Or not. You don't have control over your life right now. That's the problem. You put it in his hands. You should have never swallowed the pill. You don't have to. You also made it a point to say you transitioned from the girlfriend to the friend. But you didn't. It sounds good. That's what you may have wanted to do. That's what you should have done. And you know you should have. You actually shouldn't even be this motherfucker's friend.
But you didn't make the transition because you later on went explaining that you still do wife shit for him. Even after finding out that he even slept with your cousin. And damn, what kind of cousin is she? Shit, we know the nigga ain't no good because he damn sure ain't a man. What the hell was your cousin thinking? That's another story. Either way, back on you. Hold up, hold up. I know this shit getting good, but listen to just a couple seconds of a commercial. If you love me, you'll listen.
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I'm a good lawyer and I want to win. I think I killed JT.
I'm not going to stop. I think I love it, love it. Never underestimate the power of attorney. Always bet on Jax. Reasonable Doubt. New episodes Thursdays. Streaming only on Hulu.
You're still seeing them and you're ashamed to let people know. And you know why you're not going to give me no bullshit time. Oh, I don't care what nobody thinking. You know, people don't think what they want to think. And people know people care about you. I don't even know you when I care about you. I care so much about you. Yes, I am judging your ass. I am. I am.
And only God can judge. But people do it every day. It's natural. We do it. I'm judging you because you're better than this. You're smarter than this.
You have to be because you're telling me everything that I'm telling you. You just still won't let it go. What needs to happen? He's lying. You don't want to tell anybody that you're seeing him because you're belittling yourself even being with him still because, oh, you with him. He ain't only with you, but you with him. He has your mind. He has your body. He has your heart. When somebody got your mind, that's different.
Bang said, I ain't got time for this. You done made my dog walk out the room with this shit. Look, he done got up and walked away. He has your mind. He has so much power over you. You said he doesn't know loyalty, but your excuse was he doesn't know how to be loyal to anyone. So how the hell is that recipe for soul tie?
How do you feel that you two are connected in a spiritual realm? You really need to tell me this. I want you to check back in with me. How do you feel? You're not even his priority. You're not his first, second or third priority. You know why? Because you've made it so easy for him to keep playing these fucking games with you time after time after time. And then the way you the way you described it.
It sounds like he doesn't even live in the same city as you. If you can't trust a nigga in the same house with you, you're never going to be able to trust him in the same city with you.
Seriously, I want you to wake up, baby girl. You didn't tell me how old you were, but I can honestly tell that you're young. You're not a baby, but I can tell that you're still a young lady. You have a lot of love to give. And I'm going to correct you. In the beginning, you also said, I know it always seems like that I have to be in a relationship. No, no, no. It's totally fine, baby. I'm the same way.
I love myself to death. I do. But I love the feeling of someone else loving me as well. So I resonate with you when I hear you say that.
I'm always in a relationship. When the hell have y'all seen Jess single? I mean, on stage, I'm single because, you know, I do a lot of stand up comedy material, you know, that's meant for the stage. So I'm single on stage. When I step off, I'm a girlfriend. I haven't been in successful relationships. And then some that I have, I've been cheated on as well as I've been the cheater. You know, I've been lied to and I've lied to others.
You date. You love being in relationships. It's nothing wrong with that. You got some people that loves being single, love playing the field. You got some people that just love having sex with multiple people. You got some people that just love having a roster of niggas that they just talk to, don't do nothing with, get money from. Then you got your people that love being in relationships. That's me. That's also my sister. My sister has been on this podcast plenty of times. We're open with our business so we can help people like you listen,
This is not it. Because you have to sit and you have to think, what do you want? How do you feel? You don't need to go see a professional to release you from him. You release your damn self. That's it. And I know, I know you're saying, oh, it's easier said than done. It's easier said than done. It is.
But if you keep saying it to yourself, you will do it. You have to put that in your atmosphere. You have to control your own reality. Control your own reality, your own love life. You've never been through anything like this. I can tell. Girl, you sound all congested and shit. Go blow your damn nose. Hey!
Look in the mirror and talk to yourself. You don't even need to do anything else from you making dinner, twisting this nigga dreads and all of that. He done had a baby on you. Had a baby before you. Keep fucking the mother. Fuck your cousin. And you talking about you soul tied. Get yourself together. For real. And check back in. You need to leave that shit. Leave it. Giving a man power over you like that and he a motherfucking bum. Yes, he is. He's a bum.
You know what I was going to tell you when you wrote me for this shit. Maybe you just needed to hear it from someone else. You needed to hear it from me or someone else. I get it. I see you. I feel you. And listen, I love you. Just from sister to sister, baby girl, I love you.
And I'm going to tell you who else is going to love you. The right man out there waiting for you. Not that nigga. There's going to be a point in your life where somebody can't wait to talk to you. Somebody can't wait to see you. Somebody can't wait to get home to you. Somebody can't wait to put a baby in you. Somebody can't wait to put a ring on your fucking finger. There's going to be a time. I'm telling you right now. That ain't going to be with him. All right.
Now, when you meet the person that you're really going to be soul tied with, that don't mean that he's going to be perfect either, but he damn sure ain't going to be this nigga. So don't look for perfection. Obviously, you ain't been looking for that shit. You've been looking for the bottom of the most bottomest niggas, but work on yourself.
Take a break because you are mentally drained. It's how much our soul's high girl. He's sucking your soul. He is a soul sucker. That's why you feel like your soul is tied to him and where we're operating on the same frequency. No, you not. No, you not.
Tell me he probably know that you're writing me for this podcast. Yeah, he probably know because he know everything about you. You don't know his next move. I guarantee you don't. That's when you soul tied. When you can answer a question for a motherfucker, when you can think for another motherfucker. That's when you soul tied with somebody. That's a soul mate.
I can make decisions on behalf of my soulmate when he's not here that you can't do that with him. He can do that for you because you put everything in his hands. You've given him everything to destroy you. And the only way somebody can destroy you is if you give them everything and you've given him everything, he has nothing else to take from you. So he plays with that and he holds it over your head because he know you're going to be there with your arms wide the fuck open, understanding everything.
Get your life together. Seriously. Your love life, that is. Not your whole life. But shit, girl, check back in with me. Shit. That's almost the whole damn podcast. I can't believe that shit. I'm going to do one more because she done took up all y'all's time, y'all. But she needed some fixing. I'm going to read one more story and then we out of here. Hey, Jess, I hope you're able to take this one. Huge fan of the podcast. Thank you, baby. I
I have a situation I'd like to get your opinion on. I've been with my man for a little over two years now, and he is amazing. We live together, and he's a great stepdad to my five-year-old son. Well, he has a best friend, white girl for context, that he's really close to. They've been friends for years, and she calls him brother.
Once I came around, he introduced me to her and we were cool. But I have a gut feeling that she has a thing for him now that he's in a relationship. Nothing has happened thus far, but it's in my gut. Well, then you're most likely right. I've asked him about it and he says that they've never had a thing and he would never go there with her. He's always telling me that she's looking for a rich man, even if he's married, etc.
Am I wrong for feeling uneasy about this, even though he has reassured me? Should I bust this shit up? Damn. Thanks again for taking my dilemma. Love, love, love the podcast. Also, both him and I are black. I didn't mention that above. Okay. I mean, I figured that when you said his best friend was white. I mean, you would have told me that your boyfriend was white. Okay. So I really honestly don't feel like this is a really, really bad thing.
Now, what can be happening is, yes, she has a thing for him, but he doesn't have a thing for her. I'm not trying to be, you know, one of them, but you know, they love our men, them whiteys. Yes, they do. That don't mean that he's attracted to her just because she's attracted to him. She may have had a thing for him. No, I don't think that they've done anything. I think, I don't think he would lie about it. Have you ever had a conversation with her, just y'all two alone?
about the shit. Have you ever bought it up? I don't think you should go busting up nut crazy ass. I don't. I think you should take your man's word, but I do think that you should also tell him again, just revisit the idea, but revisit it in a different way. Say, listen, I do believe you. And this is only if you do believe that. I believe you, babe. I did ask you, did you have any previous intimate connections with your best friend or was it just strictly best friends for you?
And I believed you when you told me no, but I don't think it's the same on her end. I think that she has a thing for you. And although you tell me that she looking for rich niggas and all that type of shit and married niggas and she just all out there and shit, I still want you to know that doesn't negate the fact that she still may have a thing for you, her best friend. And she's probably so used to him being single.
or being in between relationships or whatever. She just may like him better when he's single. She may feel like she's closer to having a chance or whatever. You can't blame him for that though. And you didn't say that you did. I'm just letting you know, you can't blame him for that.
But I think you should sit down and have a conversation with him and tell him, look, I want to talk to her. Or I think that you should keep an eye open or, or I'm just uncomfortable with the bitch being your best friend, period. Although she was before me, I have a gut feeling. And when women have gut feelings, honey.
We'd be right for the most part. All right. Cause I've been, I didn't have some shit in my gut a couple of times and I wasn't right about it. And even pieces of dick, honey. And I ain't been right. So, um, I think that's just a communication thing. That's all. Cause you're very uneasy about it. And I think the only way that you can,
fix that is having a conversation with him and then having a fucking conversation with her and shit. You said y'all were cool enough. Be cool enough to listen to my concerns and shit about the closeness of you and my boyfriend. All right. And just like that, we are going to end this episode on that note. Oh my God. The first story was crazy. Y'all wasn't it?
Again, like I said in the beginning, my baby girl in the beginning, she sent me voice notes. If you don't want to type or if it's too much to type because I am getting so many essays. These goddamn stories are getting longer and longer, y'all. I wish y'all could just send me the voice notes. If y'all don't prefer to, I do understand. And yeah.
I will read them, therefore, okay? But if not, if it's easier, if you don't care about anybody hearing your voice on the podcast, make sure you just go ahead and send on the voice notes. I will not let them know who you are. Everybody is going to remain anonymous. Again, I hope I am really fixing y'all's mess and tune in each and every Wednesday, 7 a.m. on iHeartMedia, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you find your podcasts. And in my deepest pan voice, peace.
Carefully Reckless is a production of iHeartRadio and The Black Effect. For more podcasts from iHeartRadio, visit the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you listen to your favorite shows. I'm a good lawyer and I want to win. I think I killed JT.
She needs someone who's going to fight for her. If we don't follow the right plan, we lose. The hit series Reasonable Doubt, now streaming on Hulu. She was defending herself against a monster. Starring Emma Yatze Coronaldi. I'm the best lawyer you have ever worked with. And Morris Chestnut. I'm not gonna stop. I think I love it, love it. Never underestimate.
The power of attorney. Always bet on Jax. Reasonable Doubt. New episodes Thursdays. Streaming only on Hulu. Gear up for outdoor adventures with the 2024 Nissan Pathfinder. This midsize SUV is designed for epic journeys, offering spacious seating for eight, available panoramic moonroof, and an available intelligent four-wheel drive feature with seven drive modes to take your off-road experience to new heights.
Discover the 2024 Nissan Pathfinder at NissanUSA.com. Intelligent all-wheel drive cannot prevent collisions or provide enhanced traction in all conditions. Always monitor traffic and weather conditions. Towing capacity varies by configuration. See Nissan Towing Guide and Owner's Manual for additional information. Always secure cargo.