He likely felt bothered because her recent reconnection with old friends disrupted their usual pattern of spending most of their time together. The increased time she spent with her friends, especially late nights out, was out of the norm for him, leading to discomfort.
She should have a conversation with him to understand his feelings better. It’s suggested that she emphasize how much time she spends with him and that reconnecting with her friends doesn’t mean she’s neglecting their relationship. She could also propose joint activities like game nights or double dates to balance her time with friends and him.
He feels conflicted because his current girlfriend discovered their past and wants him to end the friendship. He values the 10-year friendship but also likes his current girlfriend, creating a dilemma about whether to prioritize his relationship or his long-term friendship.
The speaker suggests he should be honest with his current girlfriend about the nature of his friendship with his female friend. He should also consider whether his girlfriend’s insecurities are worth addressing or if the relationship is worth continuing if it’s causing him to sacrifice a significant friendship.
He’s unsure because the sex isn’t good, they argue more, and he feels she’s “dirty” (possibly disorganized or sneaky). He’s also questioning whether he loves her or is just used to her, and he’s worried about trusting new women due to his past infidelity and a problematic baby mama.
The speaker advises him to focus on being honest with himself and his girlfriend. He should figure out what he wants and communicate openly about his issues with her. The speaker also suggests he should take time to be single, grow up, and focus on being a responsible father before considering new relationships.
The holidays are about spending time with your loved ones and creating magical memories that will last a lifetime. So whether it's family and friends you haven't seen in a while or those who you see all the time, share holiday magic this season with an ice cold Coca-Cola. Copyright 2024, The Coca-Cola Company. Life is an act of constant reinvention. That's true for you and for cars.
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Hey, comedy fans. The funniest comedians in the world are on tour, and you can get tickets to see them live near you. Laugh at the biggest names in comedy, like Otsko Okotska, Chelsea Handler, Jimmy Carr, Kathy Griffin, Matt Matthews, Matt Reif, Sarah Silverman, Sebastian Maniscalco, Stavros Helkias, Wanda Sykes,
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Hi Jess, so I've been dating this guy for about six months and things just get better over time. I know that's right. We always do things to keep the connection there and date each other as if we were still trying to win each other over to keep the spark. Oh, I like that. That's nice. That's what a lot of these mergers should be doing. Okay. Recently, I got back in touch with some good old friends of mine and have been going out a little more than usual.
which he loved at first, but now I could tell it started to bother him. Just let me tell you this, Jess. I'm literally with this man all the time and give him all of my time. Every time I do have time. Okay, time. I just don't understand why this would be a problem. It started about three weeks ago when I came in from a girl's night. And yes, I was drunk as hell. But that's what happens when you go out and have a good time. Yeah.
I come in the house and the first thing he says to me is, you've been drinking? Damn, it's clear as day I've been drinking, but why is it a problem? Is what I said to him. And he shook his head and walked off. Girl completely threw my energy off, so I just went to bed. Another time is when he invited me out to breakfast one morning and I told him I had plans with my friend later that evening. He still had a problem with that.
It's not like I canceled on him. I just told him that I had plans that evening and he completely started giving me attitude, which was really sassy. Hey, don't don't listen, ladies. Stop throwing a fucking sassy word around for some of these men, because a lot of shit that y'all be saying be sassy.
Don't even really be sassy. Y'all just got a problem with men that have a problem with the shit that y'all be doing. That'll mean a nigga sassy all the time. Everybody got problems where everybody don't agree with everything. But stop throwing that sassy word around. I hate that shit. All right. I mean, there's some sassy niggas out here, some sassy behaviors by these men out here. Yeah, but everything is not sassy.
Now I feel like I have to hesitate to even tell him that I'm going out, but it shouldn't be like that. It shouldn't have to be like that. So my question is, how do I approach him with a conversation like this to figure out what exactly is the problem? Any advice? Okay. So this is not all that bad. Okay. Then you have like an easier case, I would say, in my opinion, I do feel that
That maybe because it's so abrupt, I feel like it's probably out of the norm of your pattern. Like you have a normal pattern. It's not what he's used to. And this just kind of came out of nowhere. You even said it, you know, you said I recently got back in touch with some old good old friends of mine. You know what I mean? That you probably used to like really, really.
running my fucking streets with when you were single or in your younger days or whatever you know you didn't tell me how old you were but I'm just saying that really don't even matter but like you know what happens when you get caught up with them good old friends you know what I'm saying see
The key words is good old. Like you didn't say I caught back up with my couple of my friends that, you know, you say good old friends, honey. You G-O-O-D-O-L. Good old. So you used to have a good old time everywhere y'all fucking went. I know what that's like. You know what I'm saying? And those are the friends that I don't really hang with anymore. We talk, but I don't hang out with them anymore because I'm not really looking for.
for them good old times I used to have back in the day before shit really started mattering to me. You know, going out drinking, coming in all hours of the night and shit like that. Like, you know, really living life like we was living in college dorms. You know what I'm saying? Like those, those things, you know,
It sounds like he's just more of a traditional guy, I could say. You said things get better with time. Y'all are constantly trying to reinvent ways that y'all can keep the spark by...
By staying in love with each other, complimenting each other, doing whatever that you guys do, because you didn't really go into depth with that. But I know what that means. You know, you guys don't want to lose the spark. You're happy. He was happy. But I'm a challenge you here because you even told me that he was happy for you reconnecting with your good old friends at first and then.
He wasn't anymore. He didn't really seem thrilled about it anymore. I bet you what happened is that you started going out a lot, a lot, a lot, a lot and not spending that much time at home. Now, I also can empathize with you as a woman when you say, yo, I'm around him all the time, like, you know, but it wasn't a problem for you until you left.
Got caught up with your good old friends, you know, so maybe that can be a conversation. Not maybe that should be the conversation. You know, I spend all my time with you, baby. You know, before even meeting back up with my friends or reconnecting with my friends, you know, which you thought was great for me.
it was just us. It was you and I. It was, you know, because I'm like that in my relationship now. You know, I don't want to run the streets. I mean, I'll go out here and there. Well, since I've been pregnant, I ain't been doing shit. But before then, yeah, like I'm a fun girl. You know, I do like to hang out with my best friend, my cousins, my home girls. I have like a very, very small tight circle where everybody doing their own thing. Everybody got their own business. Everybody works.
All right. But, you know, but on those times where we come together, we come together. And then a lot of times we double date, you know, and we'll triple date. We'll have game night at our house. You know, y'all just have to come to a medium about it.
You know, see if he's open to like game nights at your house with your friends. And he has friends, you know, I don't. Does he have friends that he hangs out with? You know, does he have guys nights and shit like that? Maybe that's also a suggestion that you can have, you know, if he has friends. No. How about you? You hang out with your guys. I hang out with my girls. You know, how about we do like a joint thing where we'll have we'll have.
game nights you know how about we double date we go out with my friends and their significant others or whoever they with you know unless all them bitches single then that's a problem because that's what his problem is if all i'm single and all they doing is going out twerking and drinking and shit you know it ain't really nothing left to do
Other than getting into some shit that you've been drinking and twerking and coming from the club all night. If that's all y'all doing. You know, I'm just saying. I'm just saying. So I understand you, but I also understand him as well. You have to give him some grace. You just went from being his, being around him so much and, you know, soaking up each other's energy and like how your message started off. Like, yeah.
I've been dating this guy for six months and they are still early in this shit. You know what I'm saying? Like, don't get around your motherfucking homegirls and have them bitches criticizing your relationship and have you second guessing your relationship. You get what I'm saying? Because that could happen too. A lot of people can be an influence and these are good old friends. I ain't gonna ever stop saying it like that. They're your good old friends. Your bitches from back in the day. You know? And also, if they ain't got what you got,
then it's going to show. You know what I'm saying? You're in a relationship. You got to remember that at the end of the day. You can't live like you used to. The holidays are about spending time with your loved ones and creating magical memories that will last a lifetime. So whether it's family and friends you haven't seen in a while or those who you see all the time, share holiday magic this season with an ice cold Coca-Cola. Copyright 2024, The Coca-Cola Company.
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Hey, what's up, Jess? So over time, I dated this girl who really became one of my best friends. My friends love her and my family love her too. But we never made it official because of different circumstances, like either I was in a relationship or she was. And now I think we've got too close to even really be in a relationship. I think there will always be a what if with us, but we both agree that we will just remain friends.
So here's the kicker. I am dating someone new and she went through my phone and saw that me and my friend were more than friends before. Now, yes, I did lie and just say like, that's just my friend. And now she wants me not to be friends with her anymore. I feel like...
And... That's another gay story. She didn't have to say she was a woman. I dated this girl who really... I don't know what to say. It's out here, honey. Okay, go ahead. So I'm dating someone... Okay. He has a lie about me and my friendship to her because I feel it's none of her business to know. And I knew she would react. I mean, just like this, wanting me to break up the friendship.
But what's crazy is my friend is no threat. She's not a homemaker, even if she did have more feelings for me. So my question is, what should I do? I really like this girl, but me and my friend been friends for like 10 years now. Why would I just stop being friends with her? Help me out, Jess.
I've been in a situation like this. That's a little... You have? Mm-hmm. I've never been in a situation like this. You know what? See, mine a little different. Mine is a little different because... All right. I'm going to share mine real quick. See, I was dealing with somebody and they was intimidated by me and Rome's bond. Like, Rome is my baby father, y'all. Y'all know that Ashton did. And he... Y'all know how we are. We're like brother and sister, fucking siblings. Like, we're not...
we're good together. You know what I mean? Like, we cool. We just friends. Like, you know, but he like my family and I talk to him almost every day. Like, you know, and that was an issue for a guy. Like, I don't know. Like, but Roman's my friend. But it's different because he my B-father. What was your situation? I had a friend and me and him like messed around before. But it's kind of similar. Like, we had like...
We just never actually made it official. But of course, family and everything else like that. Because we only went to friends first and then got into whatever. And then he dated someone that already was jealous, that had jealous issues already. And...
His dumb ass was like, well, always talk about me, though. So that probably also sparked like, who the fuck is this? Whatever. So she found out. And yeah, she didn't want him to be friends with me no more. And mind you, I didn't even know he even had a girlfriend. He didn't even tell me any of that or nothing. Damn, that's fucked up. It is fucked up because I told him when I got into a relationship. Yeah, because you got friends. Like, yeah. But anyways. Your friend liked you.
Yeah, I guess, but... Because why wouldn't he tell you about his girlfriend? Exactly. I don't know, though, because I was real with him, but whatever. Did he ever give you signs that he did like you, though? Yeah, I already knew he, like... Right, right, right. Like I said, we were always friends, but he was, like, in the Army or... I'm sorry, he's in the Navy. And I was in school and all. Right, right. Like, it wasn't like... Yeah. That's what it is. Like, that's my... I was going to have love for you, but it's like... No. No.
So he ended up... Actually, we didn't speak for a year or whatever. And his mom was mad at him because he was like, yo, she's been there for you. How are you just going to... Who's this girl to like... Yeah, make you break up with your friend, basically. They ended up breaking up because she was crazy. Okay. And insecure, obviously. Yeah. And I tell them to this day, he's the only guy that's like...
What? Like that was able to get like me and him are cool. Still cool. Yeah. But like, cause he had to like really, like I knew it was like, he really felt bad. He had his friends calling me, his mom calling me, like just talk to him. Like, sorry. I just want my friend back. Fuck it. Like, you know, yeah, no, I get it. Cause that was a friendship. That was, you know, how long were y'all friends? Um, now, damn.
It's been like 15. Yeah. Like that. Like friendships don't come, don't, don't come by like that nowadays. You know what I mean? So it's always good to have those good people and keep those clothes, keep those people close. But this, this person here that that's writing us this story, their friend, I feel like they say they were friends for 10 years, 10 years. Yeah. But at what point do you feel like this, this friendship is a little questionable when you,
your girlfriend go on your fucking phone and see... And did they even say what they read? No. Well, yeah. You know what I'm saying? I feel like you're leaving out parts of it. Like, what did they... Are you guys flirty? A little bit too friendly? You know what I'm saying? Because friends...
Right.
Y'all friends, this your friend. Y'all got 10 years of history. You feel me? Like y'all could be sneaking around or, you know what I'm saying? Hiding shit from me. And yeah, I don't know. So those type of situations are very touchy.
You know what's even more crazy? The girl, the guy was living in, my friend was living in Hawaii at the time. What the fuck? Like, we're not, why do you think he's cheating? Like, we're not doing nothing. That shit was so crazy. She called my phone and all that. So they were in Hawaii? No, no, no. I'm just saying my situation. Yeah, that's what I'm saying. Yeah. The friend that she was talking about. I was in Philly. Philly.
wow from Philly to Hawaii and then y'all cheating yo he's calling my phone and he lied to me too cause he was just trying to be on some sneaky stuff cause they ended up
getting secretly married and all because he was like he was like you can't like leave my husband like just going off and I was like huh? I was so confused and I'm an asshole too though because like once he started getting me going then I just played with your head then I was like you know what this is fine since you calling my phone the other night yeah like tell her why Jesus good times well
The holidays are about spending time with your loved ones and creating magical memories that will last a lifetime. So whether it's family and friends you haven't seen in a while, or those who you see all the time, share holiday magic this season with an ice cold Coca-Cola. Copyright 2024, The Coca-Cola Company.
Hey, comedy fans. The funniest comedians in the world are on tour, and you can get tickets to see them live near you. Laugh at the biggest names in comedy, like Otsko Okotska, Chelsea Handler, Jimmy Carr, Kathy Griffin, Matt Matthews, Matt Reif, Sarah Silverman, Sebastian Maniscalco, Stavros Helkias, Wanda Sykes,
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So let's get into it, Taylor, what they got to say. Okay. He goes, I'm 23. I've been with this girl since 8th grade. I cheated on her all through high school and some girls she knows about and some she don't. As far as I know, she's only been with one other guy. But I've seen little shit that makes me think otherwise. I mean, honestly, I don't care if she did back then because I've been wilding with hella people. My thing is the sex hasn't been that good. We argue a lot more. And the biggest thing is she's dirty. Ah!
Hold on. Nigga, what? What the fuck you mean she dirty? Like...
I care for her a lot, but I can't tell if I actually love her or if I'm just used to her and if I should leave while I'm young. I'm scared to leave, honestly, because I can get girls. It's just trusting these new females has me worried. Because one thing I can say is if I was to have a baby with the girl I'm with now, I'd be cool. But I don't know if I can deal with getting another girl pregnant.
And then I got baby mama from hell. What should I do? Oh, okay. So that's not even her. The dirty girl. This is somebody, the baby by somebody else. Baby mom and then he has a girlfriend. Who's dirty. Yeah. Okay. The fuck? Okay, so did it end with a question? Yeah, what should he do? Should he break up with his girl? Mm-hmm.
I guess because she's dirty. Like the fuck? And then, but then he's talking about one thing I can say if I have a baby with a girl. Why are they even having a baby? What is wrong with him? He's at 23. Yeah, because he probably go in raw all the time. And he knows there's a big chance that he may get someone else pregnant. He probably don't like condoms. Or he just wants more kids. I guess. Maybe he's saying like if he should dump her or not, I guess. I don't know. Hmm.
Yeah, it's going down until pregnancy. Yeah, so he's 23. He's been with this girl since he was in high school. He cheated on her all throughout high school. Why do you say she's dirty, though? I don't know. He didn't give us no context clues. Like, is she dirty as far as...
Like, she's sneaky? Because a lot of men refer to that. I know a lot of guys. Maybe she's dirty. She's just not organized. Maybe she's just... Junkie. Yeah. Not a junkie, but she's junkie. Yeah, maybe. Because if you were with her for that long... Yeah, you was with her dirty ass all this time, and now she's dirty. Like, boy, I've been that. What's up? So, clean me up. Like, what's going on? Okay, so...
I think you know your answer. It's very simple. I think, honestly, you even saying, am I comfortable with her? Is that why I'm with her? Like, you know, are we growing apart and shit like that? Like, that's basically what you're asking me. And then you go on to say...
You don't feel like getting to know somebody else. You don't feel like gaining that trust with somebody new. So you are just comfortable. You're in this relationship for convenience at this point because you voice clearly what you don't like about her. Yeah, he said the sex isn't good either. Yeah, he said the sex is not good. But is the sex not good because you don't want that fucking dick out in all these other boxes?
Shit, you busy. You busy, honey. And then you got a baby mama from hell because she was probably one of the motherfuckers that she was fucking with around on your girlfriend. You know what I mean? And then shorty got pregnant. She didn't want to get rid of it. She probably wanted to be with you, kept the baby to be with you. And now you ain't leaving this goddamn girl and you ain't even making her a priority. So now, yeah, she's the baby mama from hell.
You know, you also didn't tell me if she lets you see your child or not or whatever, but you up here talking about another, having another baby.
Because that's what you did. You better reread what you wrote because that's exactly what she's talking about. Now, like I said to Taylor, it's either that you want more kids or you just don't like condoms. You're one of those raw dog niggas. And it is what it is. And I don't like saying niggas because, you know, we shouldn't these days. But a raw dog nigga is a raw dog nigga. You just don't like condoms. Tell me if I'm right. Now...
I honestly think you need to be by yourself. You're 23. You don't know what you want. And the reason why I say you don't know what you want, I'm not saying that you're confused about your life as a whole, but you don't know what you want because on one hand,
You're comfortable in your relationship. You want to be in a relationship, but you don't want to be with the girl that you're with no more because you think it's something out there better. You think there's no fixing, which or whatever y'all got now. If she dirty clean up, pussy ain't good, tell her it ain't. And y'all can figure out other ways to make it good unless it's stretched out of place like a fucking rubber band. But I don't see that happening because she's young as well. You say you think she only been with one other guy. So it ain't the vagina. Maybe you ain't making her wet.
Maybe that's what it is. Does she know you've been cheating on her and doing your fucking thing since y'all been in grade school? Do she know that? Because maybe you don't do it for her either. Have you talked to her about it? But she'd rather stay with your ass because that's just what women do sometimes. You know what I'm saying? This may be a phase. And on the other hand, you want to do what you want to do.
And then on the other hand, now, because we on the third hand, you got a baby with a spawn of Satan of a baby mother. So it ain't really, you don't got too much wiggle room, baby. Like you should be by yourself. To be honest, you should get to know yourself. You should focus on being a dad. Even if you got to go through the courts, like to be a dad. And I don't even know if this is your situation because you just briefly hinted on the fact that you have a baby, but you have to focus on being,
preparing for what's next, not the now. Because you already grown. You got to grow the fuck up. You're a father. So it is what it is. 23, you still young, but you're a young father now. So just because you young don't mean you got time to be a kid and play childish games. Like, sweetie, you can be by yourself and just be a fucking bachelor strapped the fuck up because it's more than just babies that can be consequences of raw sex. I know you know that.
Yeah, I'm just trying to lead you in the right direction, brother, because I don't like where you're going. I don't like where you are. So sit down, talk to your girlfriend, let her know she's a little dirty. And, you know, figure out where her head is at. First of all, before you go to her, figure out what you want. Don't go trying to fix it if that's not what you want to do. You got to be honest with your girlfriend. I don't care if you're comfortable. I don't care if it's convenient. I don't care...
You know, you can't hold on to somebody because you don't want to get to know nobody new because these holds this and these holds that. Nigga, you a hoe. So come to grips with yourself. Be truthful. Fix yourself. Then go see your girlfriend and let her know exactly what it is.
about her and about you about you because don't make it all about her guys can be very selfish and do that as well and that's why women blame themselves and be all types of insecure and shit because we think it's us whole time it's your ass or it's our ass let her know work on yourself be a dad let her go shit and just do what you want to do single that's it that's the only way it's going to work for you for her and your baby the fuck
It ain't about the baby mother. She just got your baby. That's it. But you have to remain cordial enough to raise the child. You know, he said, well, he had a son or a girl. He was insane. Okay. Well, if you got a daughter, I'd tell you right now, you better make it right. Cause you wouldn't want no nigga playing her face like that. And if you got a son, you definitely don't want them to be running around all fucked up like you.
Once again, thank you for tuning into the Black Effect Podcast Network. See you in 2025 for more great moments from your favorite podcast. Hey, comedy fans. The funniest comedians in the world are on tour and you can get tickets to see them live near you. Laugh at the biggest names in comedy like Otsuko Okotsuka, Chelsea Handler, Jimmy Carr, Kathy Griffin, Matt Matthews, Matt Reif, Sarah Silverman, Sebastian Maniscalco, Stavros Helkias, Wanda Sykes,
and so many more. All kinds of shows, all kinds of venues, all kinds of funny. Head to LiveNation.com slash comedy to get your tickets today. That's LiveNation.com slash comedy. How crispy are the new Deli-Mex crispy quesadillas? Let's see. I'm going to pop one in the microwave. Yeah, Deli-Mex crispy quesadillas are crispy even from a microwave. I can already smell it. Heads up, if you hate loud crunching, you might want to mute.
So crispy. Like, barely hear myself think crispy. These should come with a warning. If this crispiness is making you hungry, get to your closest grocery store for Deli Mac's crispy quesadillas in the frozen aisle. Imagine the most beautiful panoramic setting. Endless waves crashing on a beach. Kids playing in the park. Now, right smack in the middle of your perfect picture, imagine just one piece of litter. Imagine.
It doesn't fit, does it? And it simply doesn't belong anywhere. Certainly not in California. Not even one piece. Good news? If we work together, we will change it all. Clean California. Zero litter is the goal. CleanCA.com.
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