Who Is She?
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Welcome to Can't Believe Reckless, the production of iHeartRadio and The Black Effect. Oh shit, just like that, we back on the air. Welcome back to yet another Can't Believe Reckless episode with your girl Jess Hilarious. What I be doing? I be fixing mess. And we got one. Listen, my baby, my baby, I'm in here with Taylor. Say what's up, Taylor. Y'all say what's up to my girl. What's up? She here, even more pregnant than she was two weeks ago. So she gonna be in and out, y'all, because she is annoyed as fuck.

She got a little baby up in there. What you having, girl? Oh, can we announce? Yeah, I'm having a boy. She's having a little boy, so she's about to be a bitch. Sorry. Sorry about that. My God, boys make you so mean. In my opinion, I was mean when I was pregnant with Ash. I wasn't. You think I was mean when I was pregnant with Marley? No. I wasn't mean. I didn't know how you

yeah yeah I wasn't mean I just was like over everything I wasn't mean though I just was like y'all getting on my motherfucking nerves all right so we have a voice memo y'all this is the first one in a long time I think it's the first one in season four that we had I ain't have a voice memo since like season two I think either way but let's get straight into it let me sing

One more time for a final round of disappointments.

Okay, so I'm 27. My wish in my college is 38, turning 39 this year. So we met when I was 24, turning 25 in a couple months. Everything was kind of perfect. Like we talked for a month before we like linked up. I was dating single for a year and a half.

Heavy on the self. Love. My confidence was high as fuck. I was high. I'm high like bitches is working out, doing yoga, drawing, reading, writing, living their best lives and shit. So I was dating. I wasn't exclusively like dating him. So when I monthly got to know each other, you know, we just kind of clicked more than the other guys. And the other guys were kind of more on my roster due for convenience and not just convenience. Like they were good dudes, you

So, you know, I wanted to see if more feelings could develop for me. Mm-hmm. Um, so...

After that first link up, it was fucking history. We was going on dates every weekend. I eventually stopped texting the other guys so much. And, you know, about two months go by. And at this point, he is spending the night every night. I'm talking about he's basically living here. Like his game is here. He has a bag of clothes here. He comes right after work.

And doesn't leave until he goes back to work. Like, we're literally together all the fucking time. Like, even on the weekends, he's there after work. He's there playing a game. Like, just, it's like we're living together at this point. Yeah.

That's right. That's right.

Damn.

You know, we go to the store together or whatever he'll go have. He, you know, he got me and my son stuff for Christmas, which is the fuck he should. I got him something as well. So, you know, shit's going good. But I'm kind of like at this point now, like, well, you know, you're not. I'm paying these bills alone. Like, and that's kind of turning me off from you because, you know, I had a dude on my roster who would send me money for the fucking hell of it.

Mind you, dude on my roster was in the streets and this dude wasn't. So I wasn't really tripping. I'm like, I got a good dude. Like, you might be the nigga that I've been praying for. So the date slowed down from every weekend to every once in a while. The affection slowed down. Everything slowed down.

So this is about month six, and I'm noticing these changes. I'm like, hey, like, you know, is something wrong? Like, do we need to do something else to connect? You know, what are we missing? Because I've noticed changes in our relationship. I noticed that, you know, he would go through my phone sometimes. So I was scrolling through his Facebook one day, and I saw, um...

I noticed this one girl in all of his likes, literally all of his fucking likes, all of them. So I call him. I'm like, hey, babe. I was just scrolling through your Facebook, and I noticed this one girl in all of your likes, and I was just wondering who it was. Like, you know, who is it? And this is like, you know, he was scrolling through my Facebook, ask questions, go through my phone, ask questions. So I didn't think it would be a problem. He immediately gets defensive.

Damn. Yeah.

So with him reacting all defensive and shit, you know, I'm like, that's your best friend. Like, you know, why ain't never met her? Why have I never heard of her? Why have you never brought her up? If I literally never scrolled through your Facebook and asked who she was, I literally would have never knew about her. So big red flag, right? So...

After that, he kind of started being more private. I don't ask you questions. You don't ask me questions, which is fucking crazy because the nigga asks questions all the time. Excuse me? Just insecure as shit. And then also, he basically living at your house. Basically, once the nigga game is there, he move to fucking. So you trying to have your cake and eat it too. And I'm not really with that shit, so I definitely understand. But yeah, you let him...

You let him do a little bit too much too fast and he started getting, he started smelling himself as the black mothers would say. But I'm gonna let you finish. Hold up, hold up. I know this shit getting good, but listen to just a couple seconds of a commercial. If you love me, you'll listen. The world is constantly changing. It's up to you to decide how to respond. Choose to be bold, to try something new. Choose to reinvent yourself. That's what Nissan did with the all new totally reimagined Kicks.

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This is Carissa Thompson from Calm Down with Aaron and Carissa.

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So, at this point, my mind is fixated on his best friend. Like, I am determined to figure out what the fuck he really got going on because it's more than a defense thing. So...

I go through his phone, can't find anything. So boom, fuck it. Like, you know, he's flirty on Facebook, you know, inboxing girls, not getting replies. I'm like, you know what? I don't want to call my office insecure. Even though if we're in a relationship, I do kind of find like, I'm not inboxing niggas trying to get attention or a response. It's hard. I'm not hard. I ain't no motherfucking stories and sending it to the inbox, hoping they respond. Like I'm not doing any of that.

But I kind of just let it go. My fault. Okay. So, a few months go by and we're just, we're not getting along. I'm finding out that he's inconsistent and he's a liar.

He is hiding shit. Like, literally, he is making me insecure by just... He done did a whole 180 from the motherfucker he showed me in the beginning. Like, he's not affectionate. We're not, like, that intimate as much anymore. Like, he used to want to talk, like, throughout the workday, like, while he was working or whatever. Um...

you know, he's not wanting to do that anymore. So I'm like, cool. Like, in my mind, I'm like, I'm gonna run through this nigga phone. Like, fuck that. I'm one of them bitches.

I'd rather know. Hold up. You're giving this shit a lot of attention for you to be coming from the streets. Remember you said you had this nigga, that nigga, this nigga, that nigga. You then got rid of the nigga that was paying your bills for this clown ass nigga. And you still like this one must have been the one that had you like ready to be on some exclusive shit. And you hinted toward that earlier, like seven minutes ago. And you also said you was going to make this story short. And I'm loving it.

Remember, you said that you lie, honey, so I'ma let you finish. But yeah, this seemed like you... I'ma let you finish. ...to just be wondering, like, bitches be talking about intuition. Well, bitch, my motherfucking intuition led me to look through this nigga phone. Hmm.

So, I find messages with an ex, you know, asking when can he come see her. She basically told his nigga she busy till the next motherfucking year. Damn. Come to find out much later on that ex was her or whatever. So, fast forward, we have an argument.

He's mad at me. He sends me a screenshot of text messages, but with the name covered up and, you know, the little drawing shit. So the message is talking about a date and, you know, they've been trying to take each other out on dates for months. And I'm just like, what the fuck? Like, in regards to text, he was the type of nigga to overtalk me.

Oh, wow. So...

Girl, with a soul anyway. Yeah.

He is calling me nonstop, pulling up to my house, pulling up to my mama's house. Like, pulling up on me, literally, like, stalking me. So, me being delusional and retarded. Oh, my gosh. I am so sorry if that offends anybody. Just, just beep that out or something. I'm sorry, girl. Me being stupid and delusional. I'm like, you know what? This man is really fighting for my love. He see he fucked up.

And he never told the truth about the text message. He literally went from, it's my sister, to I used another phone to make that up just to make you jealous. Like, all types of shit. Never told the truth about it, so I never knew who it was at that point. This is long as fuck. Oh my gosh, I'm so sorry. Okay, so I'm going to speed this all the way up. That's where we get back together. Why my dumb ass was doing good, had a new boo, like, just fucking stupid. Okay, so we get back together.

So he's the same narcissistic type of man. I'm thinking that maybe he'll be who he showed me in the beginning, but no, because he was probably never that negative to begin with. So fast forward, I go through his phone a couple months after we get back together.

I mean, what the hell did you expect, baby girl? Shit.

I went through that phone for a motherfucking T for T. So in the screenshots, he had the message that, well, in his pictures, he had the screenshot that he covered up with the ink or whatever. And then his dumb ass had the fucking real screenshot there, the one that he didn't cover the name of.

So come to find out the motherfucking screenshot about the dates and the flirting and shit and the sidelines and how they want each other was from his fucking so-called best friend that he was defensive as fuck about when I first met him. Damn! See why you should have left, girl? See? Do you see why? You put up with a lot of shit from this nigga. Girl, I'm going to keep reminding you. Remember, you left the nigga that was paying your bills for this nigga. Yeah.

Fuck. Tell me that was a red flag and I was a red flag. And then that was a red flag. And the bitch, you just was on a roller coaster. You just went through it. Like there was nothing. Red flags, six flags. It's like you didn't give a fuck, ma'am. I'm gonna let you finish. So now. So I find iCloud and a phone number and I go through all of their messages literally from the time before time and

Basically, since the time we got together. So he's been flirting with, like, linking with, you know, but from the messages, as far as I can tell, they hadn't fucked. They've been intimate. But clearly it's some type of feelings and emotions there. And just something has prevented them from being together in a relationship.

Or I don't know what it is. Yeah, because they were best friends. They really started off as best friends. And he probably always had a thing for her. But she probably, being his best friend, has seen how he's done bitches for years and years and years. You including being one of them. And...

She's like, nah, I don't trust you. I see how you move with bitches. So that's, she loves her best friend too, but as much as she loves him, she damn sure ain't about to be one of his victims, you know, end up like yo ass. So, you know what I mean? Like that, that's, you got to think about that. When a best friend, when a female best friend is like hesitant to get with her, her male best friend, but they do like each other more than likely. That's why. Cause she's seen how he is with, with women. She has two young kids. So maybe it's her baby dad.

I don't know. She doesn't have her shit together at her grown-ass age either. So it's probably a couple factors. First of all, how the fuck you going, girl? You writing... Think about your story. You're sitting here giving me this story

Where you are the fool in the circus. You are made out to be the clown in the circus. And how dare you speak on what this woman ain't got together in her life. She got that nigga that she was trying to get. She got that nigga that you thought was yours. You know what I mean?

So I hate when women come at the other woman when it's really like, you know, when y'all don't have to. Sometimes you got to check a bitch. Sometimes you got to, you know, air a girl out every time, every now and then. You know what I'm saying? Air a bitch out, let pop out and show. You know what I'm saying? But if you got your own shit going on, the last thing you need to be thinking about is somebody else not having a life together. Okay. Now we got a commercial. And if you click off this podcast, I swear I'm gonna beat your ass. Listen.

The world is constantly changing. It's up to you to decide how to respond. Choose to be bold. Try something new. Choose to reinvent yourself. That's what Nissan did with the all-new, totally reimagined Kicks. The dynamic new exterior styling immediately announces that Nissan isn't messing around. The interior? A completely redesigned cabin with premium features like wireless Apple CarPlay and a panoramic moonroof makes driving a Kicks immersive. And?

Exciting. And with new performance and safety features like intelligent all-wheel drive, the Kicks is both more fun and safer to drive than ever before. It's the dawning of a brand new era for the Nissan Kicks. Only one question remains. Is it a new era for you as well? Drive the all-new reimagined Nissan Kicks today. Available feature. Bose is a registered trademark of the Bose Corporation. Nissan Safety Shield technologies can't prevent all collisions or warn in all situations. See owner's manual for important safety information.

Here everybody, it's your favorite play cousin Junior from the Steel Ray Morning Show. The Toyota Tundra and Tacoma are designed to outlast and outlive, combining raw power with precision engineering. All backed by Toyota's legendary reputation for reliability. Climb inside a Tundra and experience the uncompromising strength with its available i-Force Max engine. The Tundra delivers exceptional power, torque, and towing capacity. Plus,

the spacious and high-tech cabin keeps you connected on the run. Or check out a Tacoma, agile, dependable, and unstoppable. The Tacoma is designed for those who go beyond the trail. Stay ahead of the pack with available off-road features like crawl control. Or break out your tunes with the available portable JBL speaker. Toyota trucks are built to last. Year after year, mile

This is Carissa Thompson from Calm Down with Aaron and Carissa.

Guys, Valentine's Day is not the time to wing it. You know what I mean? You need a solid game plan. Yeah. Yes. Aaron knows this all too well. Jared, are you listening? The Books Company and wow your Valentine. That's right. W-O-W. Wow your Valentine. Get 25% off your entire purchase. Books makes it simple, you guys. Choose the quickie book. Whoa. Ha ha ha. With the click of a button, get their bestselling bouquet right on time for Valentine's Day. It's the quick

She'll brag about for weeks. Wink, wink. Or pick up from their collection of unique modern designs or go for their flower subscription, the number one husband life hack and be the hero every month. You really can't go wrong. This is so cute. Books aren't just any flowers. Their flowers are cut fresh from where they grow best. So you get bigger,

brighter blooms that last longer. Some are even grown on the side of a volcano. That's incredible. She'll be blown away by how stunning they are. Valentine's Day, you guys, is February 14th. Again, Steve Jarrett, February 14th, right after the big game.

So don't fumble the flowers. You get what we're doing here and get your order in now. Go to books.com. Use my promo code. Calm down for 25% off. That's B O U Q S.com. Promo code. Calm down. Books. Promo code. Calm down.

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So let's, let me let you finish.

You know, this kind of fucked up my views on best friends and platonic relationships between male and females. You know, so now as I move forward, dang, it's going to be like, nigga, I don't want to be one of them bitches, but ain't no friends. Like, I need to see all the messages from the time before time. Hang out with this bitch a couple times with you. See how she vibes around you. And just read the energy in the room.

So...

I live again. And then I also... What really fucked my head up was... Because he knew I had ran through that phone before and saw her and questioned it and tripped out about it. And that's why we broke up, ultimately. He saved her number and another girl's number under male names. So I wouldn't really think twice to look through those messages. Or if they called, I wouldn't think twice about why he wasn't gonna answer. And what fucked me up was...

One of the names have been in there for like two whole years. And I literally have been seeing it for two whole years. And this is like literally the two years of the relationship. So really what's been holding me on was time spent. Yeah, I can't wait to hear this. Time invested. Like, damn nigga, like you done wasted two years of my 20s. I'm 27 now. I'm...

Like, in love with you in the most toxic way ever. Like, and it's so hard to leave him. Like, this nigga's kicked my door in multiple times because I blocked him for weeks since the last time I went through his phone. Like, I just, I really don't know what to do. I need help getting away, staying away. I'm moving soon, so that should make it better. But, yeah.

And Roni's help. Like, what? How do I move on from this? I feel stupid and brainwashed and stuck. But I'm ready. Well, I'm glad that you said it. And I don't have to say it because I don't like calling women stupid. I don't like calling, you know, because we've all been in predicaments like this. And why I can't say we've all because I know a few women that have not, you know, but I have. I've been in a predicament where I couldn't leave a guy alone and know he was stupid.

treat me like 10 karat shit. You feel me? Like putting things before him and, and, and putting him up on a pedestal. And it's like, first of all, bitch, first you're, you're, you're, that's a whole nother situation. But yes, I've done that before. So I'm really, I don't want to say that you're stupid, but what you just said, you know, you're giving him too much power. It's about, he wasted two years of your life. You wasted two years of your own life.

You already know, you know, and I'm glad that you recognize that this shit is toxic. But, you know, be that as it may, this is your fault as well. You let this man play you like a fucking fiddle. And that's why he kept doing it and got better at it with time, you know, and was doing it for so long. By the time you found out about bitches, you think he cared? You think he was going to give a fuck? You chased him to no end. All he got to do is chase you a little bit.

And that leads you on. I know the dick cannot be that good. We got to stop obsessing over the dick and the time spent and all of that shit. Like, that's like a crazy thing. Ain't it? Yes. I hate, I don't say I hate girls. It's like. You got to talk in the mic, Taylor. I am talking in my, I don't understand that though. Yeah. So she was saying it's because of the dick?

Well, she was saying it was because of time spent. Now, Taylor has been in and out, so I'm going to go over your story. Okay, so she wanted... This nigga name is Witch McCall. She wanted to call him that. Even though she's anonymous, she still wants him to remain anonymous as well. Now...

They've been dealing with each other for a total of two years or whatever. When they first got together, everything was great. But she was doing her thing. You know what I mean? Like she had a roster of niggas, which one of them was paying her bills for her, you know, but that nigga was in the street. So it was like taking the good with the bad. He paying your bills, but he also risking his life every day. You know what I mean? Okay. So you did get that.

all right, cool. And her and the dude started talking, you know what I mean? Like, and she started liking him. He basically pulled her away from the other dudes, you know, just, just, I guess, whining and dining her and, you know, just making her feel good. Basically she was getting something from him that she wasn't getting from all the other niggas on the roster. Right. So she left him alone, including the guy that was paying the bills.

She laughing alone. I'm sorry I had to get loud on that because that is so, that's crazy. That's disrespectful to yourself. So then he started messing with some other girls? Yeah, pretty much. So yep, she had found out about his best friend.

Oh, okay. That's right. Okay. Yes. She go through the phone. I mean, go through the Facebook and realize, all right, you got a best friend. Why the fuck I never knew about her. But look, this is the thing. He started slowly but surely moving in her game. His game ended up over there, like clothes and stuff. And that's the thing. Yeah. But because she stopped talking to the guy who was paying the bills. Now she paying everything by herself. This nigga never offered her nothing for no bills, but he started staying up in the house, laying that pipe.

You know? So then... Why are you not with the best friend? Exactly. This is what I said. I feel like he's not with the best friend because the best friend probably see how he treat women. You know what I mean? And will never go there with him. I had the same situation. Me too. You know what I mean? I had a male best friend who wanted to go there with me. Yeah. And as much as I loved my best friend, I'm like, nigga, I see how you do bitches. Like, I'm not about to be one of them. Like...

You got, what, four fucking baby mothers now and shit. Like, I already got a baby father with four other baby mothers. I'm not doing it. You know what I mean? But, yeah, either way. So I definitely understand where she coming from, you know, but she let this nigga do this. She said he was a liar. He was inconsistent. She started seeing how they ended up breaking up. And she looked, she ended up breaking up with the nigga, putting him out and all that type of shit.

God had gotten herself a whole new bull was like doing good. Then this nigga came back. She said, all right, we're going to put everything on the table. I think they gave each other 30 days to like dismiss all the bitches and all the niggas that like they like played this game basically. And so at the end of the 30 days, they're supposed to swap phones and see, you know, all right, clean out the phone or whatever.

But this nigga forgot to delete some shit and she's saying other shit like shit that went way back from years with other bitches and all that and then the best friend was in there. So it was a lot. And she was like, she feels like, and she still can't leave him alone. She asking me how she can leave him alone. And I didn't even let her finish the goddamn stories. It's three minutes and 50 other fucking seconds. Yo. Yo.

and shit so damn man yeah that's another episode oh lord let me I got to end this shit she need to leave this nigga alone then right yeah I don't feel like what else I feel like this is part one we going you know we gonna do we gonna make this a two part that's what we gonna do we gonna make this a two parter

Y'all let me know. Y'all jump in the Carefully Reckless podcast page in the DMs or in the comments. And y'all let me know the advice that I should give this lady or y'all give her advice. And we're going to come back with part two. We're going to hear the other five minutes that she got to say, because I think, oh, no, it's 10 minutes. It's 10 other minutes. OK. And a summary. Jesus. All right. So we're going to come back.

And just like that, we come to the end of yet another Caffley Reckless episode with your girl Jess Hilarious. And my girl Taylor is here. Say thank y'all. You, say thank you. Thank you. To the people. She's so cute. Yo, she is so cute. All right, y'all. See y'all for part two next week.

Carefully Reckless is a production of iHeartRadio and The Black Effect. For more podcasts from iHeartRadio, visit the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you listen to your favorite shows.

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