Your Mouth Better Match Your Hands
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Thank you.

And just like that, we're back on the air. Welcome back to yet another Catholique Reckless episode with your girl, Jess Hilarious. And I think now we can say, Dr. Jess, I be fixing people's mess and they be updating me on their situations. And I haven't gotten a lot of people. I haven't even gotten a handful of people. And you only got five fingers. I'm sorry. Shout out to people who have less. You only got five fingers. You're supposed to have five fingers on one hand. And I haven't even been able to count them.

on one hand yet well I'm only been here I've only been here I what the point is I haven't had more than five people that said I couldn't help them and that's what I love you know so we're gonna jump right in now somebody wrote this y'all know I hate it I'm gonna tell y'all every episode I hate when y'all write verses sending in voice notes because then y'all don't know how to spell child but y'all y'all stories be so good so I'll be trying to help y'all piece it together

Anyway, here we go. Hey, Jeff, I love your show. So happy they're not deleting your podcast like they used to do us when we first started. Damn.

Now it's time to fix my mess. I've known Mark for 16 years. Damn, bitch, you just gonna say his name? Okay. All right. You've known Mark for 16 years. I've always loved this man. However, when we met 16 years ago, I didn't think skinny dudes like thick girls like me. So I initiated a no strings attached relationship. So you, real quick, I'm going, I'm going to comment on that.

You said I didn't think skinny dudes like thick girls like me. So I initiated, I initiated a no strings attached relationship. How are you going to thank for another man? First of all, you're going to thank for another person.

And you let the fact that you thought so much into what this man preference is, who didn't even tell you what his preference was, that you initiated a no strings attached relationship and you knew that's not what you wanted. Don't we bend over backwards and stupidly for men and don't even have to have the time because that nigga ain't never tell her that. All right.

Over the years, life took us different ways, but I love this man. So every holiday, every birthday, every year, I would text or call him. Four kids later, on my end, with a failed relationship, Mark came back into my life. 2021, I did my normal Thanksgiving text, and I was shocked. I received a phone call, and we spoke for about two or three hours. I

I was excited, but I didn't expect anything of it. A month later, he calls and asks if I could do his taxes. I'm sorry. That's funny as shit. Girl, can you do my taxes? Girl, please. And now, you know, that's that was his way back in. If you really don't do taxes, if you ain't no damn accountant and you don't work at TurboTax or for TurboTax or nothing like that.

that he only hit you. That was a segue into talking to you. He just wanted a reason to hit you, girl. I ain't texting nobody to do my damn sexes. Fuck that. I agreed. And next thing I know, he keeps coming around every week, every off day, like clockwork. I got to know a little bit more about him and loved everything about him. He made me feel safe and bought out my feminine energy that my ex took away from me. No, that you allowed me.

your ex to take away from you. Can't nobody take your feminine energy. And I made a mistake. You didn't allow him to take it. You gave it to him. He couldn't have took that shit from you. That's a mind thing. You got to change that mindset, change up that narrative. Not that I need a man to get that out of me. Exactly. I'm glad you said that. Let me just read my business. So after hanging for six months, he moved in. Oh, all right. Yes, I opened my home to him. Cost to live is high as hell. I

Okay, convenience and affordable. Now, we have been living together for six months, so I asked him about us becoming official. Oh, y'all ain't even official? Yeah, well, you just said y'all moved together because both of y'all were struggling, basically. He said no because he just came out of a relationship and that he isn't ready to make us official. That hurt. But I felt we just continue to be us because we are indeed doing everything a couple would do. We got a house together, planning businesses together, and planning to go on trips.

Y'all planning to do all that together, but he's still hurt from his last relationship. Girl, these jokes write themselves. Ain't no way.

All right. So he wants to treat you like a girlfriend. Wind it down. You like a girlfriend? Move in like a boyfriend or a slash fiance husband or, you know, full time father and all that. Y'all want a playhouse, but he don't want to give you the satisfaction of a title or making it official. Oh, God, let me just finish. He helps with my kids and I love it.

Just recently, we spent Valentine's Day together, had a blast, five-hour massages, a photo shoot, and an expensive dinner. I popped the question if he thinks we can make us official. He said no because he not ready. And I'm like, what's the difference in what we're doing now that we can't make us official? Now I'm lost and confused and scared. Not sure if I should walk away or stick with him because other than that one thing, there is no red flags.

That's the only red flag you need, boo. He's committed to me in a way. I don't see him cheating. It's just me, work, and the children. I'm not sure what to do. After listening to a few podcasts, I figured I should just consider us as dating.

Neither one of us want to lose this friendship we have developed. A friend of mine told me to just allow things to go the way it's going, but I'm an overthinker and this makes me feel like I must not be good enough for him. Just please help me with this mess. I want you to stop it right now because you said something that I did not like. Girl, I want you to stop. I would pop your fingers like a little girl like, ah, because you should never ever say no.

But I'm an overthinker. No, you're not. Now, there are such people as overthinkers. And yeah, but you're not overthinking in this situation. And I hate that we constantly try to tiptoe around as women. We try to tiptoe around what we feel because we're not used to getting it. So it seems unusual for us or we may be seen as doing too much because we really over like a person when it's not over liking. I just really fuck with you, my nigga. I really like you.

Like, you know what I'm saying? Now, if you don't like me the same, that's on you. I can't control that. That's only for you to know whether you like me back the same. That's only for you to show. And I'm going to see it. I'm going to feel it. If you do, you feel when somebody fuck with you, you feel when somebody love you and you feel when somebody don't. You feel when somebody is only fucking with you when it's convenient for them. Listen, as women, we feel everything.

Whether we want to or not, we feel it. We're forced to feel shit sometimes and then we're forced to just sweep it under the rug sometimes and then we're forced to just keep on going and act like nothing ever fucking happened. You are not an overthinker. You like a man. You want something out of a man. Y'all been dealing with each other far too fucking long, in my opinion, for him to still be talking about, no, I just got out of something and it will get the fuck out of my house. How about that? You can still be a friend from a distance. You ain't got to live with me.

Get the fuck out of my house. I'm going to say it like this. Well, maybe you'll say it nicer because that is your friend at the end of the day. Please remove yourself from my home. We cannot fuck like that, you know, unless you want to keep on fucking them or, you know, having sex or whatever you want to do with this man. Yeah. You know, because we have sexual needs as well. But he wouldn't have access to me like that. He wouldn't. I'm sorry. And then he didn't already been around your kids and all of that. I can only imagine what your kids think. This is my mom's boyfriend.

Right? Because you said you don't see him cheating. You ain't in no relationship. So if he go cheat, that ain't cheating. And I think that's what he wants to be able to use. That's why he will not tie you down. You know, that's why he won't lock you down. He won't just give it an official, you know what, let's go ahead and make this happen.

He's still got something that he don't want to miss. He thinking he going to miss something out there. I'm telling you, I've seen this a lot. You ain't the first person with this story. You brought him around your fucking kids already. I don't know how old your babies are. God bless them. You know what I'm saying? But I really feel like he's too fucking close for comfort to not be your man. You understand? He's too built into your life. How the fuck he live with you? Is he paying bills? Is he going half on shit? You understand what I'm saying?

Ain't none of this shit free, man. If you ain't paying me with your love and some money, you better be giving me some fucking money. I don't give a fuck. Friends don't stay with friends for free all the time, especially if my ass is struggling. If you're the friend that's struggling and I'm still trying to help you.

And I got my own kids. No, you're going to bounce, baby. So I do really. I advise you to don't walk, baby. Run, put on a fucking skates and roll the fuck on out. Because I don't I don't agree with Mr. Man over there. And that's just that. I want you to keep me updated. Keep me updated, babe, because that just pissed me off. If you love me, you'll listen to this commercial and then we'll be right back.

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And she was 17. She's three years older than me.

And me and her instantly became like sisters. And during that time, I met her younger cousin, who was three years younger than me. Her name is . So me and are close. Like, that's my bitch, my sister.

Right now, her contact has a heart with a key. That's my bitch. I am in love with my friend, like, as a friendship love. I would die for this woman. Her kids are my nieces and nephew. I love this woman. Okay, so, bruh was always like a little cousin to me. I know their entire family. I call their family how they call and present their family. Grandma is grandma.

You know, such and such, you know, such and such. Anywho, so we're very close. So for the past maybe eight years consecutively, every day we have a group chat. And I named the group chat, these hoes aren't loyal. Those are my bitches. Like we'll go to war.

lay down my life for these bitches. All right. So, you know, life gets serious and it was just tough that we will, you know, see each other at sad events, funerals, things of that nature, but we will always come around for, you know, good events as well. You know, baby showers, graduations, such and such. We always saw each other, but we as three...

never really got to be you know together and go out so we planned recently two weeks ago to go out and we was going to have some drinks and white mosh we up at the avenue we spent like

God damn, bitch. F***.

He's telling me, you know, I'm so happy. You've been involved in our family for so many years. You know, I love you like a cousin. Like, we're really, like, embracing sisterhood, loving each other. Everybody's complimenting our relationship. And we're just having a wonderful fucking time. So, let me backtrack for a second. I have also a cousin named...

Both of our cousins, me and D**k, both of our cousins, gorgeous. Both B*****s are f*****g gorgeous. They're both the same age. They never were in the same friends. I never questioned it. I just assumed, you know, they have different friends. So maybe about four years ago, D**k has a party, a 90s party. So B*****,

to me, I don't know why your cousin doesn't like me. I didn't think anything of it, but when I sobered up, I mentioned something to my about it. And my is the sweetest person. She, she don't usually, you know, get wild, but if need be necessary, she would. And she said, she knows why I,

I do not like her. She never cursed, never called out her name. She said, I stepped to her when we were in high school, asked her if she slept with my boyfriend. She said no, and I left it alone. And that was it. Okay, so I'm just about to be everywhere, and I'm so sorry. You probably be like, you know what? Fuck this shit. I ain't fucking up with this bitch. Nah, you good. Go ahead. Okay, so damn cousin. Last year, me and go out.

And in the midst of us bar hopping, I'm so drunk. And I mean, I wouldn't, I'm so drunk. I look at Brooke and I said, damn, you look just like T. T. is her aunt.

And I said, damn, you don't even look like a s***, which is her mother. As I'm looking at you, you look just like s***. I said, you know what would be funny? What would be so funny if it's a family secret that s*** is actually your mother and the s*** was not? I didn't notice that she had gotten uncomfortable after I said it. I did not. I was oblivious. I was drunk as hell. Wow. D*** calls me the next day and said, why did you say that? Although you didn't know.

Damn. Damn.

Okay, so now I'm feeling like shit. This is something that I never knew. She doesn't know who her biological father is. She senses that her aunt is actually her mother. Like, these are things I never knew. If I had known that, I would have never said that out of my mouth. And even D. told me, she said, yeah, I've never seen pictures of n**** pregnant. There was never a baby shower for n****. So I speculate the same that D.

could be mother. Anyhow.

So, after that happened, there was a shift. B**** did treat me a lot different. She was a little snappy. She would say little jabs here and there. But I know the b**** has a smart-ass mouth, so I would let s*** slide. And also, I knew because I impacted her in a way where she cried so bad. So, I let little s*** slide here and there. Okay. Now, fast forward to two weeks ago. So, we're all out drinking. After we're leaving, we're heading out and...

She said, you know what he said? It's just so crazy how that bitch doesn't like me. And I said, what bitch? She said, your cousin. I said, what cousin? She said, bitch.

And then that's when the fumes started because why are you bringing up my cousin? It was no need for her to bring up my cousin. Nobody said anything about anyone in my family. So where did this come from? And now she's drunk as shit. So I'm, okay, let's talk about this. I said, why are you bringing up my family? She was like, I just want you to know that I was just, you know, I was effing her N-word. I don't say the N-word. I was effing her N-word back then and I'm still effing him now.

Mm.

by my actions because I could have waited so we was away from fucking white mosh and we was actually somewhere else and I could have beat the shit out this bitch but my is sacred to me 10 years ago she was in a coma

Like, don't know what happened. She was in a coma for six months. Out of the six months, I was at the hospital every night with her for five and a half months. And I had to go home because my girlfriend was missing me. But, anywho. During that time, I was suicidal. He saved my life just so when that situation happened with the other, I was ready for war. And to this day, I'm still ready for war. Right.

Yeah. Yeah.

is not a threat to me that I could have easily whipped her ass any other time that she is a state official if someone would have recorded that and posted it online she could have lost her job I get that I get it and one day I will apologize to that bitch for that part right there but girl bitch are you checking your you know what I'll

Okay, so my question is, what should I do now? Would you savage? Because I love this bitch. I love her to death. And I'm actually hurting the fact that I don't speak to her anymore. So would you savage? Would you try to reach out? What should I do? I'm everywhere, Jess. I'm sorry. Let me light this blood. You know what, girl? It's fine. It's okay, babe.

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Listen, I see that you're a very passionate person about your friends and family and people that you do love. And you're a very loyal person, too. You know what I'm saying? Sometimes we can be loyal to a fault, though. You get what I mean? Because we're so loyal that we expect other people to be as loyal to us as we are to them. And I'm afraid that your friend, she ain't like you. She cut from a different cloth, obviously. Let me tell you something. What you did, you were not wrong for. Maybe you could have handled it another way.

But you reacted not inhumanely. You reacted naturally. When somebody is coming at your family and you close with your family, whether that's a friend or not, nigga, that's my family. And then liquor was involved.

Nothing happened that day that I didn't expect to happen or that don't need to be expected. She lied about fucking the nigga. Well, she lied to your cousin back in high school, probably so she wouldn't get her ass beat back then and then end up getting her ass beat now. Yeah, that's what happened when you lie and you be sneaky and you fuck somebody, you fuck on somebody's man. And when they come to you, woman to woman, as cliche as that sounds, but when it comes to you and you lie about it and then later on you want to get drunk and admit it,

And I'm talking about brag about it. Bitch, you're getting dragged. And you should not be dragged as the person who dragged her ass by your fucking friend, by nobody. You did well within your right, which you thought was right for your peoples. You know what I'm saying? Now, like I said, it could have been handled another way. And I think it would have been handled a different way if y'all wasn't drunk. Now, I don't even think Shorty would have came out and said that shit if she wasn't drunk.

Nobody just voluntarily wants an ass whooping. And listen, if you know you goddamn small and I can fold you up with one hand, bitch, you better learn how to talk to me. You better learn how to learn how to not talk shit or go get us some self-defense classes because your mouth can't like your mouth got to match your hands. You feel me? If you're a bitch with the hands, you got to be a bitch with your mouth. You can't be the rock with your mouth. But Kevin Hart with the hands like what the fuck? What are we doing here?

What are we doing? It has to match up. If you know you can't fight, shut the fuck up. It is what it is. Unless you got a hitter with you. You cannot run your mouth and just say anything you want to say. And then when somebody put their fucking hands on you, you go cry wolf. And then you got people calling me that's close to me. I honestly feel like because this hurts you so badly because I can hear it in your voice. Like this is your friend that is kind of not turning on you for this other bitch. But like...

She was like, you're coming in defense of this bitch when I'm clearly telling you what happened. And yeah, don't you ever apologize. She don't need no fucking apology.

That bitch don't need no apology. She knew she had that fucking job. She knew she was a state official when she told you she fucked that bitch's nigga and she's still fucking him to this day. Fucking him? Sorry, not to call your cousin a bitch, but you know what I'm saying. She told you that. She got what the fuck she asked for. It is what it is. Because I know she didn't expect for you to start talking shit about your cousin where, like, the fuck? Girl. And then that's not a big flex because who the fuck want they nigga from high school?

Bet that shit don't make sense. And I'm still fucking him. Okay. And I'm pretty sure your cousin is somewhere with somebody else that's treating her right and not fucking another bitch behind her back. I mean, if he is, then okay. But I'm just saying, your cousin dodged the big bullet because she ain't with that nigga no more. So it is what it is. I really feel like you should reach out, reach back out to your friend. I think y'all should go somewhere quiet and calm and talk about it and express your hurt.

Don't make it about you want her to be your friend again or you want us to get back to where I want us to get back to how we was and all that. No, express your hurt, but express it in a way so she can hear you. You know what I'm saying? And she can understand and she can listen. And it depends on her response. If she gets defensive, you're not being a friend. You're not being a friend. She shouldn't make it about herself. You know, if she tried to flip it, make it about, yeah, but you, but you, that's not a friend. You and your friend has grown apart. And that happens too.

I understand you love these girls, man. But like some people grow apart. Some things are not important to others that are important to you. You know, and I always have a thing, you know, where I say, if you grow, you're going to

pass your friends, it is time to go your separate way. I'm not saying you can't fuck with them no more. Yeah, but you can love people from a distance. You just have to evolve. And if your friends ain't growing with you and evolving, not that everybody don't evolve the same, but if they're not evolving,

Or even following a path. Or, you know, trying to better themselves. The goal is to always be better. You know what I'm saying? In some type of way. Just personally for yourself. As an individual. If they're not doing that, man, you got to leave some people sometimes. And to me...

That friend was being very petty to call you and get on your case about beating that bitch up. So I want you to get back with me. I need this update. I need this fucking update. All right. And I know, I know you left so abruptly with your message. Like, cause you had to like, you're a blunt baby. I'm about to go do the same thing. Sometimes that's, that is our best therapy. That motherfucking ganja. All right.

Just make sure you ain't smoking it out of a bagwood, baby, because I heard that fucks your skin up, all right? And we got some great melanin well needed to be touched and tampered with and all fucked up. And just like that, we come to the end of yet another Calfly Reckless episode with Dr. Jess, and I'll be fixing your mess each and every Wednesday and in my deepest pan voice. Peace.

Can't Believe Reckless is a production of iHeartRadio and The Black Effect. For more podcasts... I'm a good lawyer, and I want to win. I'm a savage. I think I killed GT. She needs someone who's going to fight for her. If we don't follow the right plan, we lose. The hit series Reasonable Doubt, now streaming on Hulu. She was defending herself against a monster. Starring Emma Yatze-Corinaldi. I'm the best lawyer you have ever worked with. And Morris Chestnut. I'm not going to...

I think I love it. Love it. Never underestimate the power of attorney. Always bet on tax. Reasonable doubt. New episodes, Thursdays streaming only on Hulu. Year up for outdoor adventures with a 2024 Nissan Pathfinder. This midsize SUV is designed for Epic journeys, offering spacious,

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