how could i possibly be lovable?
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Hello, everybody. Welcome to another episode of Christ with Coffee on Ice. I am your host, Allie Yost. It is a joy and honor to be here, you guys. I love you so much. I love you. It's so much fun that we're hanging out multiple times a week now.

We get to hang out twice a week. This is so exciting. Anyway, we are here. Happy day. I do have my protein coffee again. You guys want to know my actual original vision for this podcast that I just have not been able to do is I originally was like, this would be so cute and fun if for every episode we're like trying a new coffee. I've whipped up something fun and cute and it's just like,

we're doing a slight little mini coffee review in the beginning with, you know, we have our coffee on ice, you know, with our Christ, we have our fun little coffee on ice for that day. And I just like, haven't been able to do that. It's actually really fun too, because I feel like you guys have really been tagging me in, you know, not only you watching the podcast, but then you're like really pretty coffees that you're making. And I'm like, wow, these are so aesthetic and gorgeous. And I'm just out here making the most like nastiest looking protein coffee. It looks chunky and it'll,

but it tastes really good. So we have our protein coffee again today. Guys, hi. I bless y'all so much. I hope that you guys are having such a great day. What are you doing right now? What are you doing? This is another time where I just wish that we could talk back and forth. Like, are you on a walk? Are you doing the dishes?

Are you on your way to work? Like, what are you doing? Anyway, I'm excited for today. I'm excited for today because I feel like the Lord is going to really show up. I think he just really wants to love you guys. So if you're okay with that, I think he just wants to reveal to you how worthy you guys really are and how worthy you are. Like, I want to speak directly to the one very person who's listening. Just how worthy you are and how much God genuinely loves you.

I'm gonna cry already. He loves you so, so much.

even when you don't love yourself, even when you don't see yourself as lovable, even when other people don't love you, even when you've been rejected. And I don't know, I might open up and share some things of my own life. I think that the only reason I can really talk about this is because it is something that God has walked me through and may even still be actively walking me through. There are still some things that come up where I'm like, ooh, why does that hurt? Like, why does it hurt to hear God say that to me?

You know, like just how worthy I am. And the thing is, I just want to clarify right now is like when we think about the cross and we think about what Jesus did for us, it's not that we were worthy of that because we obviously were not in all of our sinful nature and everything that we did to put

him on that cross. We were not worthy. Like we aren't worthy. But the reason that we can sit here and say that we are worthy, like the reason we can even sit here and be like we are worthy of XYZ, which we're going to talk about today, is because Jesus said we were worth it. That's the only reason. We're not worthy in our own nature. We're not worthy because we deserved it from the beginning. The

only reason that we can sit here and say that we are worthy of anything good is because Jesus said that first when he died on the cross for us. That's the only reason. We didn't earn that type of love or sacrifice or forgiveness or grace. We actually didn't deserve it. We still don't. But the reason we're going to come into agreement with that truth today is because that's what Jesus says about you though. Like,

Jesus says about you, regardless of what could actually be true, whether you were worthy, because he didn't deserve to die the death that he died for us. Like God could have let all of us just go to hell and never even made that sacrifice. But because he looked at our sin and he looked at the love that he had for us, regardless of our sin, he did it anyway. And he said that you were worth that.

You were worth that death to him. We said it on a podcast a couple of days ago too. But even if you were the last person on earth, even if you were the only person on earth, Jesus would have died that same death on the cross for you. So it's nothing that you did. It's nothing you earned. If anything, you don't deserve it. You didn't earn it. But he said it first. He did it and he said, but you're worth it to me.

So that is why we believe we are worthy. We don't believe that we're worthy out of any place of pride or that we've earned it. We believe it because Jesus said so. That's why we're talking about being worthy today. Because that is the truth that our King, the King of Kings, the very living God, the only true living God says about us. So we're gonna believe everything that comes out of his mouth too because everything that comes out of his mouth, everything that he does is truth.

And so today I would love, I'm holding communion. I don't know when we're gonna do it, but I feel like we're gonna do it in this episode.

Okay, I guess we'll do it right now. Okay, yeah, we'll do it right now. Okay, thanks God. We're gonna do it right now. I'm gonna give you guys a couple minutes. I don't know, wherever you're at, love for you to join me right now in communion. We haven't done this for a while on the podcast. And so I think that this would be a really great time to do so. So if you have bread or juice nearby, or you do have these cute little communion cups that you've invested in, you can get a whole pack of them on Amazon. They're amazing. We're gonna start with the bread. Thank you, Jesus.

Oh, this is fun, guys. I miss doing this with y'all. Jesus, I just thank you for today, God. I thank you that your mercies are new every morning, every day. You have new mercies for us and your spirit is everlasting. There is no end to it, God. And so, Lord, I just thank you for how infinite your love is. I thank you that it is the same today as it was yesterday and it will be tomorrow. God, that you are the same God as you were yesterday, today, and tomorrow.

And so, God, we just come together today, Lord, and we just honor you. God, we honor you for what you did for us on the cross. Lord, I thank you that not only did you free us from our sins on that cross, Lord, but you showed us that we truly are worthy.

it to you, God, that you said it first. You told us that we were worthy of that type of sacrifice, that we were worthy of that type of love that was displayed on the cross for us in our lives. And so, God, we just come into agreement with that truth, Lord. And I just pray right now, Jesus, for an opportunity for any listener to just repent

for any lies that they have been believing about themselves, that they are not worthy of blank, that they are not worth blank. Like whatever it is, God, I actually ask right now, Holy Spirit, that if there's nothing that's coming to their mind, God, or if they're having a hard time, that you just remind them, God, that you drop something in their spirit or in their mind of a lie that they have believed about their identity and who you've created them to be. Lord, and I just ask right now that as a family, we just repent, we just turn to God,

Turn forward.

from those lies. Thank you for the gift of repentance, God, that it is not shameful to repent for our sins and to repent for the lies that we might be believing in our heads, but it's actually just an opportunity to call out the very thing that is not true. It's not from our Heavenly Father. It's not from God. Call it out to say sorry to you, God, about ever believing those ugly, stinky lies. They reek. They are so stinky. We come out of agreement with those lies.

And we turn to the truth, which is who you say we are, God. So I just thank you for today that this is going to be such a special episode where we get to talk about the worthiness of who you say we are, God. And I pray that it just builds up every listener on the other end of this podcast, God, that they feel so built up.

And they have even more truth and identity spoken over them by your spirit, Lord. And so, God, we take this bread in honor of the sacrifice that you made on the cross for us. God, thank you for your body that was broken for us, Lord. We love you. We honor you today, God. And we just repent for any lies that told us we were not worth the very thing that you did for us on that cross. Thank you, God.

And Jesus, we just seal this right now with your blood. Jesus, thank you for your blood that was shed on the cross for us, God. I thank you that this blood carries so much power and authority and truth and protection, God. So I just plead this blood over my brothers and sisters who are listening right now in Jesus' name from the top of their heads to the bottom of their feet, God. I ask for a coating of your blood to just protect

I declare right now that no weapons formed against my brothers and sisters listening right now will prosper in Jesus' name. No weapons formed against them or their minds or their identity will prosper in Jesus' name, God. I pray that you remind them of the truth of their identity, Lord. And I thank you for the power of the blood, Jesus. I thank you for the power of the blood, Lord.

And so we take this blood together in remembrance of what you did and also just pleading that protection over us, God. And I pray for truth in our bodies and in our minds. In Jesus' name, amen. Eh? Freaking men. Amen.

Okay. This episode is going to be really good. Thank you, God. It's a new season, but it's always truck season at your local Chevy dealer. And right now is the perfect time to find your own. If you're a truck person, then you get it. Hauling, towing, reliability. Chevy trucks deliver. Check out ChevyDriveChicago.com. They've got all the info you need to research your future Chevy truck.

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Imagine if you could ask someone anything you wanted about their finances. How much do you make? Who paid for that fancy dinner? What did your house actually cost?

On every episode of What We Spend, a different guest opens up their wallets, opens up their lives, really, and tells us all about their finances. For one week, they tell us everything they spend their money on. My son slammed like $6 worth of blueberries in five minutes. This is a podcast about all the ways money comes into our lives and then leaves again, which, of course, we all have a lot of feelings about.

I really want these things. I want to own a house. I want to have a child. But this morning, I really wanted a coffee. Because whatever you are buying or not buying or saving or spending, at the end of the day, money is always about more than your balance. I'm Courtney Harrell, and this is What We Spend. Listen to and follow What We Spend, an Odyssey original podcast. Available now wherever you get your podcasts. ♪

So this is a thing that, like I said, I feel like the Lord has been walking me through and might even still be kind of teaching me how to do is to feel worthy of his good things, like to feel worthy of good things in general, to feel worthy not only of his love, but other things that come along.

even maybe when it comes to the way that I am treated by others and loved by others, especially in the church. I think that not being able to fully accept the love of God will also never allow you to fully accept the love of God that is shown through other people as well, because there's a direct love that we can get straight from God.

But then there's love that God loves to shine through other people. And he loves to use other things and vessels and yeah, people to also show you his love. Yeah. If you're not fully embracing and accepting the love of God, it might also be hard for you to accept that kind of love that is being shown to you through other people. And so obviously there are a whole

A lot of roots of where maybe this could come from in your story versus my story versus theirs. Like there are things that have probably happened to us, fears that have been ignited in us, hesitations that have happened because of things that have happened in our lives. That could be whether you actually have been hurt in the church before, or it could be a story kind of like my own where you had a life before Jesus.

and you were in the world and the world really beat you down. That is my story. I can't speak about any other scenario other than obviously my own, but my story was the world beat me to pulp. Like I really had no confidence. I didn't feel worthy of, it's funny because I feel like I started off really believing that I deserved these things, but then the more and more that I wasn't being treated the way that I thought I deserved to be treated, I started to believe those lies instead. And it's so crazy

crazy because once you really know the truth of God and you know about the war that happens in the spiritual realm that it isn't a war against flesh and blood and you see the truth for what it is and you see through the individual that was fully being used for evil you know like I think back to relationships and it's like I still have so much love for that person and I think the only reason I can do that is because God has showed me the truth that it was actually something else operating of

Of course, these people had to say yes and they shook hands and there were open doors and they agreed with these spirits. But it's like they were being used in a way and it's not okay. But I think that is the only thing that like actually allows me to still have love for these people and to see it for what it was, that it was really the enemy. And it was the devil that was prowling around like a lion to come and kill, steal and destroy me and my life.

since I was a young little girl. The thing is about the enemy is he does not care about how young you are. And so it's like you think about these things that go way, way, way, way, way back to maybe even like you being three years old. Like the enemy has no mercy. He doesn't care. If anything, he's probably like, I'm gonna get

them young while they're vulnerable and naive and they don't know much like that actually is probably the best scenario for the enemies to get us as young as he can and so there were things that were being embedded in me I didn't realize but there were lies and there were things that were being embedded in me from such a young age where and and when it kept happening

happening over and over is such a tactic of the enemy. I see it now that this was his plan, but if the same thing kept happening and coming back, like this familiar spirit or just the same tactic that was coming against me again and again my whole life, and I didn't know the truth. I didn't have the armor of God. I didn't know the word the way that I do now. I was so defenseless. I hadn't

no weapons to defend myself against these tactics of the enemy. And so when something like this happens to you over and over and over again, and it's through different people, you start to believe that that is actually the truth about yourself because you're like, well, what's the common denominator here? Because I'm going through and maybe it could be about dating, but like I'm being treated this way.

And then, you know, I date a completely different individual and the same thing happens. And it's funny because I'll look at the people that I dated and I'm like, they were so different. But then somehow I still ended up being treated the same way and I still ended up being disappointed.

and neglected the same way. And this isn't me like trashing on anyone. This is just me honestly trashing on the enemy. Like this is who I'm trying to expose right now. I'm not trying to expose anyone from my past, but it's like, this was the very tactic that the enemy used on me to just absolutely crush my spirit, to crush my confidence,

to crush anything that felt that I was worthy of anything good. And the thing about the enemy is he doesn't want you to believe that because that is the truth, is that you are worthy of the good gifts that God has for you in your life. Yeah, you start to look at yourself and say, why does this keep happening to me? It's the same thing.

thing like over and over again. And so you look at the common denominator, you know, to the naked eye and from the outside without knowing anything of what's going on actually on the inside. And you're like, it's me. Maybe this is just what I deserve. Maybe this is what I have to put up with me. I feel exhausted though. So it's like you slowly are getting convinced that like, this is the very thing that you deserve. But then at the same time, you're like, but I'm exhausted.

but there's something in me that's like, I'm exhausted of this though. And there is a part of me that's like, but I don't want to be treated this way. I don't want to feel this way. I don't want to have to put up with these things. Like, I don't think there was a single relationship that I was in where it was healthy. And I mean, I guess that makes sense because none of it was centered in God, but like, it wasn't even like good. It wasn't even like

Okay, I was always, and it wasn't verbally, it was through people's actions, but I was always told that I wasn't worth it. I wasn't worth it and I wasn't good enough and I wasn't worth the hassle or the time or the effort. I wasn't worth the loyalty. And when that happens to you so many times, you really believe it.

Like you're like, maybe I'm not. And sometimes it doesn't make sense. But like when that lie is being screamed out to you, not only maybe verbally, like you guys could relate to this. Maybe there are people who physically told you that to your face. Like, yeah, I've had people tell me that there's no one else in the world that would put up with me the way that they do. And so when that kind of death is spoken over you where it's like,

no one else like you're lucky to even have me and again i'm not like this is demonic this is all the enemy like these are words that basically are coming straight out of hell speaking death over my identity saying no one else will love you you're too much you start to believe it

I mean, I didn't know God. I didn't know he loved me so unconditionally and I didn't have armor. I had nothing to defend myself. I believed it all. Okay. So now coming out of BC alley, now I'm in NC alley, new creation alley. Some of those old things, God has had to kind of like rip off and break off of me and my identity. One of the very things that he has already been walking me through, and I think I've gotten a lot better at it. So thank you, God.

is believing my worth, like believing that I am worthy. Yeah, I really think y'all, like if you're struggling with that, if you're struggling with believing that you're worthy, like I don't know if I'm just speaking to my girls right now, like I don't know what it could be about. It doesn't have to just be dating. I guess that's kind of the focus right now is that the thing that said that you were worth it was the cross, like the very thing that happened

in history, before you were ever born, was the cross. That is the very thing that says that you are worthy of that kind of love because Jesus says so and that's how much he loves you. Accepting God's love unconditionally is step one of what we need to do because if you're having a hard time believing that you're worthy of anything good, it's probably because you haven't actually like truly accepted God's love unconditionally. I think another thing that we need to

like recognize is that God's love is not earned. So like we were kind of saying in the beginning of this pod, like we did not earn the death of Jesus. We did not earn his resurrection. We did not earn the sacrifice and the love. Like he just chooses, God chooses to love us that much. And God chose, like chose to give his one and only son,

son to us as a sacrifice for our sins. And it was given freely as a gift. God's love is still freely given as a gift. I think another productive thing to do if this is something that's hard for you is embracing the concept that God sees your potential and loves you for who you are.

not just for what you do. And that might be something that you have to unlearn from people as well. That might be something that you've been conditioned to believe because that's all people have ever wanted from you is that they've only loved you for what you can do for them rather than God is like the literal opposite of that, you guys. We need to embrace the concept that God actually sees your potential and loves you for who you are right now. He loves you in the mess.

He loves you even when you sin. He loves you when you doubt, when you have a lack of faith, when you don't believe in him or yourself, like he still loves you. His love is unconditional. When we look up the definition of unconditional is not subject to any conditions, any conditions.

It's infinite. Like that definition, unconditional means forever and ever and ever and ever. There is no ceiling. There is no limit. Like there is no amount of mess up. Like he loves us unconditionally. I think another thing.

that is really productive if this is something that is hard for you is also reflecting on scripture and teachings that emphasize God's unconditional love for humanity. So I think another really beautiful thing that we can do is read scripture and read the Bible. I mean, the Bible itself is a physical representation of how much God loves us. He says it in it, but not only does he say it in it, like

over and over and over again. I mean, I've even heard people say that, you know, the Bible is like a giant love letter from God to his people. He gave us this key to life. It's the very thing that gets us through life, reminds us of who he is. That alone is an act of unconditional love. We did nothing to earn that. We did nothing to earn the guidance of God, even through having the privilege to have the word of God.

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I don't know if anyone relates to this, but sometimes it's hard for me to believe that I'm worthy of something because well, one, yeah, I don't think I've done anything to earn it. But then that goes to the very first thing we said, which is to recognize that God's love is not earned. So we got to unlearn that mentality because it's not earned. He gives it freely as a gift.

But sometimes I'll be like, I didn't earn it. I didn't even earn this. Like I didn't work for this. God's like, right, exactly. I just love you. And I want you to have this thing I want to provide. And then also I get really hard on myself. Like I'm not as quick to forgive myself for the things and the mistakes that I have made, especially in my past.

We've talked about this a couple of times on the podcast, but like how to have forgiveness and grace for yourself and to not have guilt and shame about the mistakes that you've made, whether it was yesterday or it was like four years ago, you know, but being able to forgive yourself for past mistakes and shortcomings and understanding that everyone makes mistakes and having that same grace and forgiveness that God has for yourself, because if God can have that for you, our perfect, perfect

God, if he can have that for you, you can also have that for yourself. And I think that that is something God can walk us through and teach us how to do as well. It's like, this is a hard thing for me, God. Like, I don't know how to forgive myself for these things. And so I'm going to really need like your guidance right now of how to do that. And I might even need your strength. This actually could be a really cool prayer that you can make is just asking the Lord to give you a

the eyes that he has for you and the heart that he has for you. I love to pray a prayer like that for other people where I'm like, God, help me to see your people. Help me to see others the way that you see them. Help me to have a literal, I wanna have your heart, God. Like I wanna feel your burdens. I wanna feel your love for people. I just want to have a heart like yours forever.

for other people and that's a great prayer and we should all have that heart posture literally earnestly ask god to have that kind of perspective but i think that we should also pray that same prayer about ourselves like god give me the eyes that you have for me i want to see myself the way that you see me and i know that you see me with mercy

I know that when you look at me, you have love in your eyes and you have grace and you have compassion and you do see my potential. You know, it's like what we talked about the other day with David and the shepherd boy and Goliath. Like God saw David's potential.

He didn't see exactly where he was at and say, no, God saw his potential. He saw his faith. That is very much something God has for you as well, is he sees your potential and he knows sometimes you might mess up. But I think such a productive prayer you could have is God help me to see myself with that same love and POV of potential and all these things. Like I want to see myself that way and also help me to have a heart of love that

you have for me, for myself. Because if you are capable of giving people grace when they make mistakes and, you know, shortcomings, just people. And if you have enough grace for other people to be like, hey man, it's okay. Like everyone makes mistakes. It's all good. If you can have that heart posture for other people, I want you to feel confident that you are totally capable of having that same kind of heart posture for yourself.

And it's not like everyone else deserves it more than you. Like you are also included in that. Another thing that could help with your sense of worthiness is serving others and doing good works in faith that can actually enhance your sense of worthiness. Focus on helping those in need.

and making a positive impact on the world around you, I think that that also is a great opportunity to be like, all right, God, I want you to use me. Use me as a vessel, Lord, to serve others and to make a positive impact on the world. But use me. There's nothing more beautiful than knowing that you're being used by God and knowing that he actually does want to dwell inside of you and he wants to use you to make a positive impact

impact on the world. Yeah. To like be used in such a way to either give people hope or to help people or to love others or to lead them to Jesus. Like I do believe that when you're being used in a way like that by God and you see the fruit of it as well, like you see the impact that you're having on other people that also can encourage you of, of

your sense of worthiness of being like, okay, wait, no, I must be worth something because God is using me. And there are testimonies that are coming out of the way that I'm serving others. And there is value in me being here on earth. I mean, if there wasn't, God wouldn't be using me in such a way. And so, yeah, remembering that serving others reflects God's love and can deepen your connection to him. This is something that we started the podcast with, but seeking God's grace through prayer and repentance. So praying for God's love and guidance is

acknowledging your need for his grace and forgiveness, engaging in acts of repentance, turning away from harmful behaviors, and seeking to live a life that reflects God's teachings. I love this too y'all. It says God accepts us as we are. He doesn't wait for us to improve ourselves nor do we have to earn his love or forgiveness. Feeling unworthy of God's love is our perception and it's not

So I think that whenever that temptation can come into your mind of not feeling worthy of this, that, or the next, or it feels like it's too good to be true, or you're like, there's no way, I think believing and remembering the very thing that God demonstrated is

with his own love for us, with Christ dying for us on the cross. You were just thinking of the cross, honestly. It's the one thing that will ground you and be like, oh, wow, yeah. No, yeah. I mean, if I'm going to sit here and say that I'm not worthy, then what was all of that for? Like, then why did God die for me? It's just a lie of the enemy and it's not true. Another kind of good POV that you could have is that if this is something

Like if this is a mindset that you could have for the people that you love, like if people in your family or it could be your spouse or your kids where it's like they would really love this thing and you have a hard posture of like, yeah, but I want to give them a little more. Like I really want to give them more.

You know, that is just a sliver of what the Lord actually has for you. Like that is a sliver of the love that God has for you. And he wants to give you abundantly more, but it does come down to us allowing him. It's not that we hold any power over God and we, you know, it's like, we won't let you God. But it's like, if we're not willing to receive,

you know if we're not willing to receive the good gifts that God has for us he's never going to force his hand on us you know especially when it comes to his love I believe that's a lot of the reason why he even let me walk so long without him is like it's not that he didn't love me but it's like I'm not going to force my love onto you you know I'm not going to force myself onto you and so it's

just another form of his love is like, he gives us the choice on whether we want to actually receive his good gifts or not, or to receive his love. So it's always been unconditional for you. It's always been available to you. It's always been infinite for you, but it's a matter of accepting it and embracing it and allowing him to, you know, like you can only give to a person who's willing to receive.

You know, if you think about it again, like if there's a family member or someone in your life where it's like you want to give to them, but if they are refusing and they're resistant and they're like, no, I don't, I don't. Like, I don't deserve that I'm worthy. I don't deserve that I've earned it. Like, I don't want it. But if we think about scenarios in our life, like maybe that's already kind of happened where you're like, and then what's your response typically? Your response is like, no, like you didn't technically earn this. And no, I guess, you know, there was nothing that was done, but I just want to.

You know, it's like you just want to. Why? Because you love them. It's the same concept with God. It's like I didn't actually do anything to earn this. Right. That's why it's a gift. I just want to give it to you because I love you that much. And so receiving it and believing that that is God's heart for you and he will knock your socks off.

Most likely, he will surprise you. There's nothing we could even imagine that the Lord can do for us. But as long as we have a posture of just receiving and we're open to it, I think that's when we allow ourselves to feel the most loved we could ever feel in our lives because God's love is just so good.

Yeah, I think that's also the moment that we allow God to really work some crazy miracles in our life. It's like, whoa, okay, this is how big your love is for me, God. I could have never imagined this, you know? Well, I love you guys and I pray that this encouraged a lot of people. I pray that it spoke...

just identity and life over you. And it brought us back to a place of simplicity of like, yeah, God's love is something we'll never really fully understand. And it's not anything that we earned or we did, but being okay with that and accepting that reality and being like, but I'm still gonna receive. Like, I don't get it, but I'm just gonna freely receive his love. And I choose to be a son today. And I choose to be a daughter today.

And I'm just going to receive from my dad, even if it doesn't make sense to me. Like I'm going to humble myself and be like, I don't get it, but I receive God. And I thank you for how much you love me. And I thank you that you do want to provide in my life and that you do want to love me unconditionally. And you even want to show your love through other people in my life. Okay, then I receive.

It doesn't make sense, but I receive. I pray that that is our heart posture now moving forward. I love you guys. Thank you for hanging out with me for another podcast episode. I'll see you guys in the next episode. I hope that you have such a great week or the next few days until we see each other. And also guys, can we do something cool? Can we show somebody how cool Jesus is today? Let's walk more like him, be more like him. Y'all, I'm so proud of you. You are so, so worthy. And I will see you guys next time. Bye.

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