feminine energy DATING GUIDE for 2024
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Hello and welcome to the Claim Your Power podcast, the ultimate show for all things self-love, spirituality, and personal growth. I'm your host, Kim Peretz. I'm a three-time author, content creator, avid traveler, entrepreneur, and matcha enthusiast. You are at the right place if you're ready to rediscover the love within, align with your purpose, and unleash your highest potential. It's time to claim your power.

Hello my friends and welcome back to the pod. So I had a really fun idea for this week's episode. So in 2023, I had filmed a lot of content when it came to feminine energy and you guys love that content. I've always received a lot of great feedback and that you feel that it's helped you and empowered you and so I thought

For 2024, why not create a full episode on dating guide to being in your feminine energy while dating? So I have compiled a list of all my tips from...

my experience and my perspective to embracing your feminine energy when it comes to dating. And need I remind you that I was not always like this. I used to be the person that overly pursued, that overly chased, that put men on the pedestal, that lacked self-worth. I made so many TikTok videos about that journey. But

All of those lessons made me stronger, made me wiser, and now my energy and my intentions and my desires are in a completely different place. And so I thought this would be really helpful to share with you guys the tips that I implement when I'm in the dating game that help me stick to my feminine energy, stick to my self-worth, and

and that I suggest and encourage you to embody in 2024 if you are single. So let me start off this episode very quickly and preface that when I say feminine and masculine, I mean energy. We're not talking about gender classifications. And this episode is for you if you are the type of person who enjoys and feels the most safe and comfortable when they are in their feminine energy in relationships.

So if you like to take on a masculine role in your relationships and you genuinely feel like that's what suits you, great. This episode is not for you. So I suggest you just pause it now.

But if you are the type of person who wants to finally lean back and receive and be in your feminine energy and truly be the amazing person and woman that you are destined to be without too much force and with the most amount of ease and love and play, then

then listen up because these tips are going to transform your perspective. So I just want to share a little bit about what for me being in my masculine energy looked like while I was dating. If you relate to any of this and you'll be able to tell, okay, this is where I'm in my masculine energy. And again, like there's no right or wrong here. I feel like

you can be in both energetics and be balanced. It's just from my perspective and from so many women that I've talked to, we have grown up in a society that probably

that prioritizes and maximizes being in a masculine energy. So many of us women are overly on the masculine energy extreme. We're completely disconnected from our feminine side and that leads us to feel drained, to have a lack of self-love, a lack of self-worth, and to just like be really disconnected from our power. So here are some telltale signs that

maybe you are a bit overly in your masculine energy when it comes to dating. So the first thing that I noticed about myself when I was overly in my masculine energy is I was the one who always liked being in control. Like I had to be the one that figured everything out. I had to be the one always in control and I was never truly able to receive and trust because I had to have everything figured out.

Another one is the over-independent, I don't need no man, girl boss personality that I used to possess too. So don't feel bad because this used to be me like only a couple years back. But I was like very hyper-independent to the sense of like,

I didn't want no man. I hated all men. Like that's another really big one of overly being in your masculine energy is like stigmatization of like one guy treats you wrongly or hurts you. So you just decide to like hate the entire male specimen and just like be over independent. That's disconnected from your feminine energy.

Another one is when you are very disconnected from your emotions, like you have this very big fear of like being intimate or being vulnerable. You think that being feminine and emotional shows you as weak, right?

And another really big one is that in the past, you dated a lot of feminine men because relationships are all about polarities. And so if you were overly and you're masculine, maybe you found yourself dating a lot of men that are overly in their feminine energy.

These are the type of men that lack ambition, they lack the ability to pursue or initiate anything, they are often lazy, they are often men who are not very generous or given with their time or money or energy or any of those sorts. If you've ever found yourself in those types of relationships, it could have been because you had taken up the masculine energy role in the relationship and the man had to be in the feminine role.

And something that I've realized just from my own experience and just through talking to so many other of my friends and their relationships is that when you're truly in your feminine energy and you're truly with the right man in your life, being a woman is supposed to feel easy.

It's like your feminine energy just flows out naturally and you could just be a woman. You could be soft, you could be nurturing, you could be emotional, you could be intuitive and there's no need to have all these hard defenses and controlling and chasing because you're so in touch with your feminine energy.

And so when you are in the right relationship, when you know how to balance a divine feminine energy in your heart, you also start to attract the right people and magnetize the right masculine energy into your life. So if you're single right now and you're in the dating game, maybe you're on dating apps, you're a student, you're meeting a lot of people in university, or maybe you're just out there in your adult life and you want to be in your feminine energy in 2024 in your dating life,

Here are my tips. Number one is adopt the mentality of I don't chase, I attract. So when you're truly in your feminine energy, you realize that what's meant for you will find you.

And anything that you have to chase and desperately pursue is not meant for you. As women, our natural instincts is to receive. It's to be open to receive. And psychologically, this is very interesting. And if you want to learn more about it, I really suggest reading the book, Men Are For Mars, Women Are For Venus, because it really goes into the psychology of like how men and women behaviors and thoughts differ.

But psychologically, like men are hunters. If you think about it back in the day, men used to hunt. They used to literally go out and go after their prey. And now men, some men out there can't even give you a text back. Men back in the day literally built Rome, the Colosseum. Like, do you know where I'm going with this? So don't even give yourself this excuse of like,

I have to chase him and I have to pursue him because otherwise nothing's going to happen. That's not your man. Do you want to be with a man who genuinely doesn't know how to go after what he wants? That's not someone that is aligned for you. And at the end of the day, that is someone that will leave your energy deprived because you will feel like you always have to be the one stepping up in the relationship.

And so when you adopt this energy of I don't chase, I attract mentality in dating, you will achieve the biggest sense of peace and you will notice that you will start attracting the right people because you will no longer be in chasing energy. And so the way that I feel like this plays out for me is

is I don't think like DMing a guy means that you're chasing him. It's all about the energy that you are approaching your life. So being in chasing energy would entail you feeling like you need to prove yourself to someone, you feeling like you need to pursue a guy and ask him out, you feeling like you need to confess all of your emotions and feelings and plan out all these dates. That is chasing energy.

Being in your I attract energy is being able to sit back and lean back and let the person, the man, show you who he is. Let the man pursue you. Let the man ask you out. Let the man set up a date, come up with ideas. And if you struggle with being a lot in your masculine energy when it comes to dating,

something that I really suggest is genuinely think of yourself in that moment as like you're a little child who has no idea where you are you are completely lost like you don't know who you are you don't know where you are and

And there's nothing you can do except trust that your parent will guide you and plan out your day and dress you and take you to where you're meant to go. And like where I'm going with this is this idea of like let go of the control and being able to allow somebody else to take the lead in the beginning is really, really empowering. And you will notice that if you're someone who spent most of your life in your masculine energy when it came to your relationships, it will feel like such a breeze, such a

breath of fresh air to see a man in your life actually actively pursuing you and showing you that they are interested in you and planning out the dates. And so if you have a guy in your life that like texts you like, what are you doing at 2am? Or it's like, let's hang out sometime, then being able to say that

That this is not enough for me. That this is not what you want. That that doesn't uphold your standards. It's powerful. And being able to trust the guy. For instance, if somebody asks you on a first date, like, where should we go?

then instead of taking control and leading you can respond I trust your instincts like I trust your decision or what do you suggest and that's something that I was kind of hard for me when I started dating again because I was so used to being in my masculine energy of like oh my god let's go here let's do this because I'm someone who's like very I'm a tourist like that's my energy and

But it's really fun to be able to like take a step back and not constantly chase other people and just like remembering that you are the woman, like you are the prize, you are the amazing energy. And being around you and around your presence is truly an honor. Tip number two is be true to your instincts. And if your gut is telling you something feels good, go with it.

I think the whole thing about dating is like you don't have to take it super seriously. And when I say that, I'm not saying you don't take yourself seriously, but you realize that sometimes you meet people just for the sake of meeting people. And if something feels good, you don't have to look at someone and think, oh my God, this person has to be my husband right now. It could also mean, okay, this feels good. This connection feels good. Intuitively, I feel safe. I feel centered. Let's go with it.

And so a lot of time, like my whole thing now is like I let my intuition lead me. And so I try to tune more into my heart and less into my logic. Of course, there's like the whole idea of like, does this person have the same morals? Does this person have the same values? Are they aligned with me? But intuitively also, do you feel pulled to get to know this person? And there's a very big difference between intuition and attraction versus just a bond and attachment and chemistry.

and I think it's really helpful as a woman when you're back in the dating game in order to tap into your feminine energy is really to come back into your intuition and work that intuitive muscle through meditation through yoga through just connecting to your breath and your heart it's really really important and will allow you to make decisions that are aligned with your heart because at the end of the day dating is about being aligned with your heart not with your head

Tip number three is your self-love has to be stronger than your desire to be loved. Truly divine feminine energy women know that even if they want a relationship, even if they want to be loved, they will not settle for something mediocre. They will not settle just for the sake of being seen or accepted or treated to some extent.

They know that their self-love comes first. And do you have any idea how crazy that drives people? Like the right people in your life will be so magnetized to you if you're someone who knows how to put their self-love first.

There is nothing sexier than a woman who knows that her peace and her self-love is priority. Because that means it's a woman who's not easily impressionable, who can't be easily bought, who can't be easily taken advantage of. It's a woman that's in her power. And so it's so important to remember this, that your self-love is your anchor. It's what truly drives you through.

Tip number four is let the man prove himself through his actions, not his words. As women, we are very emotional beings and we love to put ourselves

people and their words and their promises on a pedestal. But if somebody's actions do not align with their words, then the words have no meaning. And men, they're very masculine. Masculine energy is all about action and ambition and the physical. And so the way that you see if someone is aligned for you when you're in the dating game is through their actions.

Are they actively showing you through their actions that they're interested? It's not enough for them to just be like, hey, I like you, da-da-da. Or it's not enough for them to be like, oh, let's hang out. That's not enough. In 2024, we are measuring men in our life by their actions, not their words. Is this man actively pursuing you? Is this man showing you through his actions that he cares, that he is loyal, that he can be trusted? Is this man showing you through his actions that he respects and values you?

When you want to truly know if a man is aligned for you, you look at his actions. Hello, my friends. I just wanted to pop on mid episode and remind you that the long awaited podcast mastery, my exclusive masterclass that teaches you how to launch, grow and scale a successful podcast from scratch is officially out and you can get your hands on it now.

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So something that I used to do when I was very much in my masculine energy and dating is when I would meet a guy that I thought was cute or something and he would hit me up on a late night without any notice or anything and he'd be like, let's hang out tonight or something. Then I would literally just cancel my plans. If I had plans with a friend, if I had plans to go to the gym, whatever it was, I would cancel my plans and I would put my life on hold for them.

And the one thing that I learned is never put your life on hold for anyone. If you have plans to take care of yourself, to have a self-care night, to go to the gym, to see a friend for coffee, you show up for those plans. Because people come into your life, they have to adhere to the life that you already love. It's not about them completely coming into your life and changing it.

It's about you as a woman creating a life for yourself that you're genuinely in love with, that you genuinely feel good about, that you're genuinely happy in and you being open and ready to share that life with somebody else. I think it's really important that when you're in the dating game, you have really clear boundaries with yourself about what feels comfortable for you and what you're going to accept from a man and what you're not going to accept.

Tip number six, and this one might feel controversial for some of you, and I'll just share that this is my perspective, and this is from my experience, and I do feel like that a lot of you guys will relate to this, and that is be very aware that when you are dating who you physically connect to. I'm not here to even get into the whole like

slut-shaming regime like that is not my energy and you guys know that like we are talking psychology and energetics because for me it always comes back to that energetically when you have sex with someone when you are intimate with someone you are literally giving them your energy and you are taking up their energy and that means that if that person is not truly aligned for you if that person is not someone that's truly empowering to you you have given them a part of your energy and you have taken up theirs and psychologically

Just from science, we are speaking science, men value women more and men chase women more and pursue women more when they have something to work for. And the thing is, if you give yourself off away too soon when you had just met someone and you barely even know them, that to them says that you do not genuinely know your value. And so this is why I truly believe to...

Don't give it up too soon. I'm just going to say it how it is. And this is coming from someone that had moments in my life where I did. And so take it from me when I'm telling you that people that you date will value you so much more if you focus on making that emotional connection first.

and then pursuing them physically when you truly feel comfortable and that you can trust the person. There's no timeline. I'm not here to tell you in three months, after a month, after two weeks, after six months, like none of that. It's about the emotional connection that you make. But if you give away yourself physically before you have developed any emotional connection, you are giving away your power and your beauty and your essence and your femininity and your purity. From a science perspective, don't.

guys, after they have sex, they release oxytocin, but that oxytocin is trumped by testosterone. And that is like why, for instance, the opposite is for women. After women have sex, they feel very emotional. They want to cuddle you up. They just want to be with you. And sometimes guys just kind of like want that peace. They want that quiet. And I think it's really interesting to know that like guys fall in love truly easily.

by giving and by their actions, not by the physical. And I think this is like a really big thing that women are taught from such a young age that like in order for guys to like us or for guys to appreciate us, like we have to give ourselves away physically. And I'm here to tell you that that is the exact opposite.

A man will appreciate you so much more by his generosity and how much he can give you, not how much you can give him. Men, energetically, like in their masculine, they are the givers and women are the receivers. You're not meant to give yourself away so soon in every aspect of your life, not just physically, to a man in order to feel loved. A man falls in love by how much he gives to you, not how much you give to him. And so I just really want to reiterate again that this has nothing to do with

anything like body count or anything like that that doesn't matter. I'm just here to tell you from a science perspective and like from an energetic perspective, honor your body because your body is a vessel and it's sacred. And when you're tapping into that feminine energy, you truly realize how miraculous your body is.

Think about it. As a woman, you're literally creating life and death. Like you can bring a baby to life and then you also menstruate and you are literally releasing blood. That's like the death part of the body. Is that all insane? Like that is the most miraculous thing. And I think we are taught to just forget that that is truly miraculous.

Women are the true timekeepers of life. We are aligned with the cycle of nature and that is truly beautiful and that is why our bodies are sacred vessels and it's so important to honor them. Tip number seven is people that you are dating are auditioning to be in your life, not theirs.

I think it's really, really important to remember that and not from an arrogance or like ego perspective, but just from the sense that when you meet someone, it's not about how you can fit into their life and like how you need to change yourself so that they will like you.

You are genuinely just getting to know them and see, okay, if this person's energy connects with me, do they align with me? And do they fit into the life that I already love? And again, I think that's really important coming back to this idea of like, when you are dating again, you want to date from a perspective and an energy of abundance, not lack. You're not going out there to find someone to fill the void in your life. You're going out there because you love your life already and you're ready to share it and show it to somebody else.

Tip number eight is be playful and have fun. I think that if you take yourself too seriously when it comes to dating, you just forget your feminine energy and you forget that it's supposed to be fun. It's supposed to be fun to get to know people. It's supposed to be fun to be pursued. It's supposed to be playful and fun. And part of the whole idea is like you get to flirt, you get to know people, you get to really be in that playful energy. So don't deprive yourself of that. Like if...

you're not playing the game, then you already lost. Like play the game, have fun, be playful, go out, enjoy yourself, experience the joy, experience the true beauty of being a woman. And that is to be in your playful energy. And that is to be your authentic self.

Tip number nine is don't put anyone on a pedestal. You put yourself on that pedestal, baby, and you do not take yourself off, okay? Even if you are literally in love with someone and you're like in a long-term eight-year relationship, you do not ever put somebody else on a pedestal. You put either yourself on a pedestal or you take the pedestal away at all and you realize that nobody in your life...

is supposed to be up there so much that you're literally idolizing them and you're literally overly attached to them because the true way to like date and your feminine energy is being able to embrace detachment. Again, not from the sense of like an ego or that you're better from anyone, but from the sense of knowing that you can attract what is truly meant for you without the need to control everything and attach yourself to every situation. You can attract from a place of ease and self-love.

Tip number 10 is be able to walk away from what it is you do not truly desire. If you meet someone and in your heart you know that

and you look at them and you're like, okay, they're great. Like we're getting along, but there are a few things about them that you tell yourself, okay, maybe I can settle here. Maybe I don't really need this. Maybe I don't really need someone who likes to travel. Maybe I can settle. Or maybe I don't really need someone who's from my same culture. Maybe like I'll deal with it. They don't get along with my family, you know? Like little things that maybe when you start dating off, you're like not thinking much about it. But in the long run,

When you start seriously dating this person, you might feel like the red flags that you ignored at the beginning are the reasons you leave later. And so if you catch yourself meeting someone that's not truly energetically what you desire, be able to walk away.

Because sometimes we have to be able to walk away from what isn't meant for us to truly let in what is. Tip number 11 is do not change your energy for a man. And let me explain because let me tell you something. Some men genuinely want to be in their feminine energy and they will not step up.

And it is your job as a divine feminine woman to recognize that. And instead of trying to dim yourself down or take up the masculine role or take the lead, in those moments you have to be able to lean back and take a step back and know that it is not your place if you want to be the type of women that's in her feminine energy. Because some men just genuinely want to be like that. They maybe didn't do inner work. It's...

their own wounds with themselves or that's just like how they believe they want to be in their relationship dynamics you have to be able to recognize those types of men and instead of try to change them and make them and mold them into being the person you want them to be being able to not dim yourself down or change your energy to fit into their life

Tip number 12 is know your worth no matter what, but never try to prove it. So knowing your worth is about energetically like being confident, knowing that if something is not right for you, you're not afraid to let it go. It's about knowing your value and not having to prove yourself or not having to tell others what you bring to the table and just knowing that what's meant for you will find you and that you can embrace your truest self.

proving your worth is very different than knowing your worth it is not anybody's job to get your worth proven to them you do not prove your worth as a divine feminine energy woman you embody your worth and anyone who aligns with that great they're welcome and anyone who isn't you hold the door open for them so

So those were my Divine Feminine Energy dating guide tips. I hope that you like them. I hope that you resonated with them. Let me know if you guys like this episode in the poll on Spotify because if you do, I can definitely make a part two. I have so many more tips and I'm learning more tips as I go in my own dating self-love journey as well. So I really hope you guys enjoyed this episode. I'm sending you love.

And I'm sending you a big hug. Stay in your divine energy. I love you and I'll see you soon. Beautiful souls, thank you so much for joining me in today's episode. As always, I will talk to you next week. Bye.