The London Prodigal by William Shakespeare ~ Full Audiobook
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Enter old Flowerdale and his brother. Brother, from Venice, being thus disguised, I come to prove the humours of my son. How hath he borne himself since my departure, I leaving you his patron and his guide? If faith, brother, so as you will grieve to hear, and I almost ashamed to report it. Why, how is't, brother? What, doth he spend beyond the allowance I left him?

"'How, beyond that, and far more? Why, your exhibition is nothing. He has spent that, and hath since borrowed, protested with oaths, alleged kindred to wring money from me. By the love I bore his father, by the fortunes might fall upon himself to furnish his wants.'

that done i have had since his bond his friend and his friend's bond although i know what he spends is yours still it grieves me to see the unbridled wildness that reigns over him brother what is the manner of his life how is the name of his offences if they do not relish altogether of damnation his youth may privilege his wantonness

I myself ran an unbridled course till thirty, nay, almost till forty. Well, you see how I am. For vice, once looked into with the eyes of discretion, and well balanced with the weights of reason, the course passed seems so abominable that the landlord of himself, which is the heart of the body, will rather entomb himself in the earth, or seek a new tenant to remain in him,

Which, once settled, how much better are they that in their youth have known all these vices, and left it, than those that knew little, and in their age runs into it. Believe me, brother, they that die most virtuous hath in their youth lived most vicious, and none knows the danger of the fire more than he that falls into it. But say, how is the course of his life? Let's hear his particulars.

Well, I'll tell you, brother. He is a continual swearer and a breaker of his oaths, which is bad. I grant indeed that to swear is bad, but not in keeping those oaths is better. For who will set by a bad thing? Nay, by my faith, I hold this rather a virtue than a vice. Well, I pray, proceed. He is a mighty brawler, and comes commonly by the worst.

by my faith this is none of the worst neither for if he brawl and be beaten for it it will in time make him shun it for what brings a man or child more to virtue than correction what reigns over him else he is a great drinker and one that will forget himself oh best of all vice should be forgotten let him drink on so he drink not churches nay and this be the worst i hold it rather a happiness in him than any iniquity

hath he any more attendants brother he is one that will borrow of any man why you see so doth the sea it borrows of all the small currents in the world to increase himself ay but the sea pales it again and so will never your sun no more would the sea neither if it were as dry as my sun

Then, brother, I see you rather like these vices in your son than any way condemn them. Nay, mistake me not, brother, for though I slur over them now, this thing's slight and nothing, his crimes being in the bud, it would gall my heart they should ever reign in him. Flouredale knocks within. Ho! Who's within? Ho!

that's your son he is come to borrow more money for god's sake give it out i am dead see how he'll take it say i have brought you news from his father i have here drawn a formal will as it were from myself which i'll deliver him go to brother no more i will flowerdale within uncle where are you uncle

Let my cousin in there. I am a sailor come from Venice, and my name is Christopher. Enter Flowerdale. By the Lord, in truth, uncle. In truth would be served, cousin, without the Lord. By your leave, uncle. The Lord is the Lord of truth. A couple of rascals at the gate set upon me for my purse.

You never come, but you bring a brawl in your mouth. By my truth, uncle, you must needs lend me ten pound. Give my cousin some small beer here. Nay, look you, you turn it to a jest now.

by this light i should ride to croydon fair to meet sir launcelot spurcock i should have his daughter lucy and for scurvy ten pound a man shall lose nine hundred threescore and aught pounds and a daily friend beside by his hand uncle tis true why anything is true for aught i know

"'To see now! Why, you shall have my bond, uncle, or Tom White's, Jim Brock's, or Nick Hall's, as good rapier and dagger-man as any be in England. Let's be damned if we do not pay you. The worst of us all will not damn ourselves for ten pound. A pox of ten pound!' "'Cousin!'

This is not the first time I have believed you. Why, trust me now. You know not what may fall. If one thing but were true, I would not greatly care. I should not need ten pound. But when a man cannot be believed, there's it. Why, what is it, cousin? Marry this uncle.

can you tell me if the catering you be come home or no ay merry ist by god i thank you for that news what ist in the pool can you tell it is what of that what why then i have six pieces of velvet sent me i'll give you a piece uncle

for thus said the letter a piece of ash colour a three-piled black a colour de roi a crimson a sad green and a purple yes in faith from whom should you receive this

"'From who? Why, from my father, with commendations to you, uncle.' And thus he writes, "'I know,' said he, "'thou hast much troubled thy kind uncle, whom God willing at my return I will see amply satisfied. Amply, I remember was the very word. So God help me.' "'Have you the letter here?'

yes i have the letter here here is the letter no yes no let me see what breeches wore i a saturday let me see a tuesday my salamanca a wednesday my peach-coloured satin a thursday my velour a friday my salamanca again

a saturday let me see a saturday for in those breeches i wore a saturday is the letter oh my riding breeches uncle those that you thought been velvet in those very breeches is the letter when should it be dated

marry decimotertio septembris no no the decimotertio octobris aye octobris so it is decimotertio octobris and here i receive a letter that your father died in june i'll say you kester yes truly sir your father is dead these hands of mine help to wind him

Dead? Aye, sir, dead. Blood! How should my father come dead? By faith, sir. According to the old proverb, the child was born and cried, became man, after fell sick, and died. Nay, cousin, do not take it so heavily. Nay.

i cannot weep you extempore marry some two or three days hence i shall weep without any stincence but i hope he died in good memory very well sir and set down everything in good order and the catherine and hugh you talked of i came over in and i saw all the bills of lading and the velvet that you talked of there's no such aboard

By God, I assure you then, there is knavery abroad. I'll be sworn of that. There's knavery abroad, although there never were a piece of velvet in Venice. I hope he died in good estate. To the report of the world he did, and made his will, of which I am an unworthy bearer. His will? Have you his will?

"'Yes, sir, and in the presence of your uncle I was willed to deliver it.' "'I hope, cousin, now God hath blessed you with wealth, you will not be unmindful of me.' "'I'll do reason, uncle. Yea, faith, I take the denial of this ten pound very hardly.' "'Nay, I denied you not.' "'By God, you denied me directly.' "'I'll be judged by this good fellow.'

"'Not directly, sir.' "'Why?' He said he would lend me none, and they want to be a direct denial. If the old phrase hold, well, uncle, come, we'll fall to the legacies. "'Reads.' "'In the name of God, amen. Item. I bequeath to my brother Flowerdale three hundred pounds to pay such trivial debts as I owe in London.'

Item to my son, Matt Flowerdale. I bequeath two bale of false dice. Be the lyset high men and low men, fulhams, stop-cater trays, and other bones of function. Splod! What doth he mean by this? Proceed, cousin. These precepts I leave him. Let him borrow of his oath.

for of his word nobody will trust him let him by no means marry an honest woman for the other will keep herself let him steal as much as he can that a guilty conscience may bring him to his destined repentance i think he means hanging and this were his last will and testament

"'The devil stood laughing at his bed's feet while he made it. "'Splod, what doth he think to fop of his posterity with paradoxes?' "'This he made, sir, with his own hands.' "'Aye, well, nay, come, good uncle, let me have this ten pound. "'Imagine you have lost it, or been robbed of it, or misreckoned yourself so much.'

any way to make it come easily off, good uncle.' "'Not a penny.' "'By faith, lend it to him, sir. I myself have an estate in the city worth twenty pound. All that I'll engage for him. He sayeth it concerns him in a marriage.' "'Aye, marry it off. This is a fellow of some sense, this. Come, good uncle.' "'Will you give your word for it, Custer?' "'I will, sir, willingly.'

well cousin come to me some our hands you shall have it ready shall i not fail you shall not come or send nay i'll come myself by my troth would i were your worship's man what wouldst thou serve very willingly sir why i'll tell thee what thou shalt do

Thou sayest thou hast twenty pound. Go into Birchen Lane, put thyself into clothes. Thou shalt ride with me to Croydon Fair. Why, thank you, sir. I will attend you. Well, uncle, you will not fail me in an hour hence? I will not, cousin. What's thy name? Kester? Aye, sir. Well, provide thyself, uncle. Farewell till anon.

exit flowerdale brother how do you like your son in faith brother like a mad unbridled colt there is a hawk that never stooped to lure the one must be tamed with an iron bit the other must be watched or still she is wild such is my son a while let him be so for counsel still is folly's deadly foe

i'll serve his youth for youth must have his course for being restrained makes him ten times worse his pride his riot all that may be named time may recall and all his madness tamed scene two the high street in croydon an inn appearing with an open drinking booth before it

Enter Sir Lancelot, Master Weathercock, Daffodil, Artichoke, Lucy, and Francis. Sirrah, Artichoke, get you home before, and as you proved yourself a calf in buying, drive home your fellow calves that you have bought. Yes, forsooth. Shall not my fellow Daffodil go along with me? No, sir, no. I must have one to wait on me.

Daffodil, farewell, good fellow Daffodil. You may see, mistress, I am set up by the halves. Instead of waiting on you, I am sent to drive home calves. You faith, Francis, I must turn away this Daffodil. He's grown a very foolish, saucy fellow. Indeed, law, father. He was so since I had him, before he was wise enough for a foolish serving man.

but what say you to me sir launcelot oh about my daughters well i will go forward here's two of them god save them but the third oh she's a stranger in her course of life she hath refused you master weathercock

aye by the rood sir launcelot that she hath but as she trod me she should have found a man of me indeed launcelot nay be not angry sir at her denial she hath refused seven of the worshipfullest and worthiest housekeepers this day in kent indeed she will not marry i suppose

a more fool she is it folly to love chastity no mistake me not sir launcelot but tis an old proverb and you know it well that women dying maids lead apes in hell that's a foolish proverb and a false by the mass i think it be and therefore let it go

But who shall marry with mistress Francis? By my troth, they're talking of marrying me, sister. Peace, let them talk. Fools may have leave to prattle as they walk. Synthesis still, sweet mistress. You have a wit, and it were your alabaster. If faith thy tongue trips trench more. Know of my knighthood not a suitor yet.

alas god help her silly girl a fool a very fool but there's the other black brows a shrewd girlie she hath wit at will and suitors two or three sir arthur greenshield one a gallant knight a valiant soldier but his power but poor

then there's young oliver the devonshire lad a wary fellow merry full of wit and rich by the rood but there's a third all air light as a feather changing as the wind young flowerdale oh he's sir he's a desperate dick indeed bar him your house

fie not so he's of good parentage sir lancelot by my faith and so he is and a proper man sir lancelot ay proper enough had he good qualities sir lancelot ay marry there's the point sir lancelot for there's an auld saying

be ye rich or be ye poor be ye high or be ye low be ye born in barn or hall tis manners makes the man and all you are in the right master weathercock enter m'sieur civet soul i think i am share-crossed or witch'd with an owl i have hunted them inn after inn booth after booth yet cannot find them

yonder they are. That's she. I hope to God it is she. Nay, I know it is she now, for she treads her shoe a little wry. Where is this inn? We are past it, daffodil. The good sign is here, sir, but the back gate is before. Say you, sir, I pray, may I borrow a piece of a word with you? No pieces, sir. Why, then, the whole. I pray, sir, what may yonder gentlewoman be?

They may be ladies, sir, if the destinies and mortalities work. What's her name, sir? Mistress Frances Spurcock, Sir Lancelot Spurcock's daughter. Is she a maid, sir? You may ask Pluto, and Dame Proserpine that. I would be loath to be riddled, sir. Is she married, I mean, sir? The fates know yet what shoemaker shall make her wedding shoes. I pray, wherein you, sir?

I would be very glad to bestow the wine of that gentlewoman. At the George, sir. God save you, sir. I pray your name, sir. My name is Master Sivit, sir. A sweet name. God be with you, good Master Sivit. Exit. Sivit. Ay, have we spied you, stout Sir George? For all your dragon, you had best sells good wine that needs no Yule-bush.

Well, we'll not sit by it as you do on your horse. This room shall serve. Drawer, let me have sack for us old men. For these girls and knaves, small wines are best. A pint of sack, no more. A quart of sack in the three tons. A pint, draw but a pint. Daffodil, call for wine to make yourselves drink.

and a cup of small beer and a cake good daffodil enter young flowerdale how now fie sit in the open room now good sir launcelot and my kind friend worshipful master weathercock what at your pint a quart for shame nay royster by your leave we will away come give some music

We'll go dance. Be gone, Sir Lancelot! What, and fair day too? T'were foully done to dance within the fair. Nay, if you say so, fairest of all fairs, then I'll not dance. A pox upon my tailor. He hath spoiled me a peach-colour satin shirt cut upon cloth of silver. But if ever the rascal serve me such another trick—

I'll give him leave and faith to put me in the calendar of fools. And you, and you, Sir Lancelot and Master Weathercock,

my goldsmith too on t'other side i bespoke thee lucy a carcanet of gold and thought thou shouldst a haddit for a fairing and the rogue puts me in rearages for orient pearl but thou shalt have it by sunday night wench enter the drawer sir here is one hath sent you a pottle of rhenish wine brewed with rose-water

To me? No, sir, to the knight, and desires his more acquaintance. To me? What's he that proves so kind? I have a trick to know his name, sir. He hath a month's mind here to Mistress Frances. His name is Master Sivit. Call him in, daffodil. I know him, sir. He is a fool, but reasonable rich.

his father was one of those leasemongers these cornmongers these moneymongers but he never had the wit to be a whoremonger enter master civet i promise you sir you are at too much charge the charge is small charge sir i thank god my father left me wherewithal if it please you sir i have a great mind to this gentlewoman here in the way of marriage

i thank you sir please you come to lewsome to my poor house you shall be kindly welcome i knew your father he was a wary husband to pale here drawer all's paid sir this gentleman hath paid all i faith you do us wrong but we shall live to make amends ere long master flowerdale is that your man

yes faith a good old knave nay then i think you will turn wise now you take such a servant come you'll ride with us to lewsome let's away tis scarce two hours to the end of day exit omnes

End of Act 1.

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ACT II SCENE I. A ROAD NEAR SIR LANCELOT SPURCOCK'S HOUSE IN KENT. ENTER SIR ARTHUR GREENSHOOD, OLIVER, LIEUTENANT AND SOLDIERS.

Lieutenant, lead your soldiers to the ships. There, let them have their coats. At their arrival, they shall have their pay. Farewell. Look to your charge. Aye, we are no sent away, and cannot so much as speak with our friends. No, man. What, ere you used such a fashion? Think you cannot take your leave of your friends? Fellow, no more. Lieutenant, lead them off.

well if i have no to my pay and my clothes i'll venture a-running away though i hang for't away sirrah charm your tongue exit soldiers bin you oppressor sir i am a commander sir under the king s'foot man an you be near such a commander should a spoke with my friends before i should a gone so should content yourself man

My authority will reach to press so good a man as you. Press me? I do thee press scoundrels and thy messles. Press me? She scorns thee, faith. Forseas thee, here's our worship all night, knows'n cham not to be pressed by thee. Enter Sir Lancelot, Weathercock, Young Flowerdale, Old Flowerdale, Lucy, Francis.

Sir Arthur, welcome to Lewesham, welcome by my troth. What's the matter, man? Why are you vexed? Why, man, he would press me. Oh fie, Sir Arthur, press him? He is a man of reckoning. Ay, that he is, Sir Arthur. He hath the nobles, the golden rudducks he. The fitter for the wars.

and were he not in favour with your worships he should see that i have power to press so good as he chill stand to the trial so chill ay marry shall he press cloth and carsey white pot and drowse and broth tut tut he cannot

well sir though you see vlouten cloth and carsey chee a zine zuch a carsey coat wear out the town zick a zilkin jacket as thick a one you wear well said vletan vletan ay and well said cocknell and bobell too what dost think jam a veard of thy zilkin coat nefer fear thee nay come no more be all lovers and friends

Aye, tis best so, good Master Oliver. Is your name Master Oliver, I pray you? What tit and be tit, and grieve you? No, but I gladly know if a man might not have a foolish plot out of Master Oliver to work upon. Work thy plots upon me? Stand aside. Work thy foolish plots upon me?

cheer so use thee thou wilt never so use since thy dame bound thy head work upon me let him come let him come

"'Zara, Zara, if it were not for shame, "'che would have given thee such a wisterpoop under the ear, "'che would have made thee a vang than other at my feet. "'Stand aside, let me loose. "'Che am all of a flaming firebrand. "'Stand aside.' "'Well, I forbear you for your friend's sake.' "'A big for all my friends. "'Dost thou tell me of my friends?'

no more good master oliver no more sir arthur and maiden here in the sight of all your suitors every man of worth i'll tell you whom i fainest would prefer to the hard bargain of your marriage-bed shall i be plain among you gentlemen sir tis best then sir first to you

I do confess you a most gallant knight, a worthy soldier, and an honest man.

but honesty maintains not a french hood goes very seldom in a chain of gold keeps a small train of servants hath few friends and for this wild oats here young flowerdale i will not judge god can work miracles

but he were better make a hundred new than thee a thrifty and an honest one believe me he hath bit you there he hath touched you to the quick that hath he woodcock o my side why master weathercock you know i am honest however trifles

now by my troth i know no other wise oh your old mother was a dame indeed heaven hath her soul and my wives too i trust and your good father honest gentleman he has gone a journey as i hear far hence ay god be praised he is far enough

he has gone a pilgrimage to paradise and left me to cut a caper against care lucy look on me that am as light as air lucy faith i like not shadows bubbles breath i hate a light o love as i hate death girl hold thee there look on this devonshire lad fat fair and lovely both in purse and in person

Well, sir, chum, as the Lord hath made me. You know me well, you yine. Ch'a have threescore pack of courtesy, and blackham hal, and chief credit beside, and my fortunes may be so good as an other's o' it may. Lucy, aside to Arthur. Tis you I love whatsoever others say. Thanks fairest. Flowerdale, aside to Father. What, won't thou have me quarrel with them?

do but say he shall hear from you yet gentlemen howsoever i prefer this devonshire suitor i'll enforce no love my daughter shall have liberty to choose whom she likes best in your love-suit proceed not all of you but only one must speed you have said well indeed right well

Enter Artichoke. Mistress, here's one would speak with you. My fellow Daffodil hath him in the cellar already. He knows him. He met him at Croydon Fair. Oh, I remember. A little man. Aye, a very little man. And yet, a proper man. A very proper, very little man.

his name is monsieur civet the same sir come gentlemen if other suitors come my foolish daughter will be fitted too but delia my saint no man dare move all but young flowerdale and oliver and old flowerdale

hark you sir a word what are you to say to me now you shall hear from me and that very shortly is that all very well ci vedi not a vig exit oliver what if he should come now i am fairly dressed oliver i do not mean that you should meet with him

"'But presently we'll go and draw a will, where we'll set down land that we never saw, and we will have it of so large a sum, Sir Lancelot shall entreat you to take his daughter. This being formed, give it Master Weathercock, and make Sir Lancelot's daughter heir of all, and make him swear never to show the will to anyone until that you be dead. This done, the foolish changing Weathercock will straight discourse into Sir Lancelot the form and tenor of your testament.'

nor stand to pause of it be ruled by me what will ensue that shall you quickly see come let about it if that a will sweet kit can get the wench i shall renown thy wit exit omnes scene two a room in sir lancelot's house enter daffodil

Mistress, still froward? No kind looks unto your daffodil. Now by the gods. Away, you foolish knave. Let my hand go. There is your hand, but this shall go with me. My heart is thine. This is my true love's fee. I'll have your coat stripped or your ears for this, you saucy rascal. Enter Lancelot and Weathercock. How now, maid? What is the news with you?

your man is something saucy exit lucy go to sirrah i'll talk with you anon sir i am a man to be talked withal i am no horse i trow i know my strength then no more than so ay by the matkins good sir launcelot i saw him the other day hold up the bucklers like an hercules

hey faith god a mercy lad i like thee well sir ay i like him well go sirrah fetch me a cup of wine that ere i part with master weathercock we may drink down our farewell in french wine

i thank you sir i thank you friendly knight i'll come and visit you by the mouse-foot i will in the meantime take heed of cutting flowerdale he is a desperate dick i warrant you

he is he is fill daffodil fill me some wine ha what wears he on his arm my daughter lucy's bracelet ay tis the same ha to you master weathercock i thank you sir here daffodil an honest fellow and a tool thou art

well i'll take my leave good-night and hope to have you and all your daughters at my poor house in good sooth i must thanks master weathercock i shall be bold to trouble you be sure and welcome heartily farewell exit weathercock

"'Sara, I saw my daughter's wrong, and withal her bracelet on your arm. Off with it, and with it my livery too. Have I care to see my daughter matched with men of worship? And are you grown so bold? Go, Sara, from my house, or I'll whip you hence.' "'I'll not be whipped, sir. There's your livery. This is a serving-man's reward. What care I?'

I have means to trust. I scorn service, I. Exit Daffodil. Aye, a lusty knave, but I must let him go. Our servants must be taught what they should know. Exit. Scene 3. The same. Enter Sir Arthur and Lucy. Sir, as I am a maid, I do affect you above any suitor that I have, although that soldiers scarce know how to love.

I am a soldier and a gentleman, knows what belongs to war, what to a lady. What man offends me, that my sword shall write. What woman loves me, I am her faithful knight.

i neither doubt your valour nor your love but there be some that bears a soldier's form that swears by him they never think upon goes swaggering up and down from house to house crying god peace in faith lady i'll descry you such a man of them there be many which you have spoke of that bear the name and shape of soldiers yet god knows very seldom saw the war

that haunt your taverns and your ordinaries, your alehouses sometimes, for all alike uphold the brutish humour of their minds, being marked down for the bondsmen of despair. Their mirth begins in wine, but ends in blood; their drink is clear, but their conceits are mud. Yet these are great gentlemen soldiers. No, they are wretched slaves, whose desperate lives doth bring them timeless graves.

both for yourself and for your form of life if i may choose i'll be a soldier's wife scene four the same enter sir launcelot and oliver antitrust to't so then assure yourself you shall be married with all speed we may one day shall serve for francis and for lucy

why she would vee know the time for providing wedding raiments why no more but this first get your assurance made touching my daughter's jointer that despatched we will in two days make provision why man she'll have the rightings made by to-morrow

Tomorrow be it then. Let's meet at the King's Head in Fish Street. No, fireman, no. Let's meet at the Rose at Temple Bar. That'll be near your counsellor and mine. At the Rose be it then, the hour nine. He that comes last forfeits a pint of wine. A pint is no payment. Let it be a whole quarter nothing. Enter Artichoke. Master?

Here is a man would speak with Master Oliver. He comes from young Master Flowerdale. Why, she'll speak with him. She'll speak with him. Nay, son Oliver, I'll surely see what young Flowerdale hath sent to you. I pray God it be no quarrel. Why, man, if he quarrel with me, she'll give him his hands full. Enter old Flowerdale. God save you, good Sir Lancelot.

welcome honest friend to you and yours my master wishes health but unto you sir this and this he sends there is the length sir of his rapier and in that paper shall you know his mind here chill meet him my friend chill meet him meet him you shall not meet the ruffian fie and i do not meet him chill give you leave to call me cut

where'st sirrah where'st where'st the letter shows both the time and place and if you be a man then keep your word sir he shall not keep his word he shall not meet why let him choose he'll be the better known for a base rascal and reputed so sirrah sirrah and twere not an old fellow and sent after an errant ch'ad give thee something but t'ould be no money

but hold thee for i see thou art somewhat testorn hold thee there's forty shillings bring thy master a veild she'll give thee forty more look thou bring him she'll maul him tell him she'll mar his dancing tressles she'll use him he was ne'er so used since his dam bound his head she'll make him for capperying any more chivorthy you seem a man stout and resolute

and I will so report whate'er befall. And fall out ill, assure your master this: I'll make him fly the land, or use him worse. My master, sir, deserves not this of you, and that you'll shortly find. Thy master is an unthrift, you a knave, and I'll attach you first, next clap him up, or have him bound unto his good behaviour.

i would you were a sprite if you do him any harm for this and if you do she'll ne'er see you nor any of yours or she'll have eyes open what do you think she'll be a baffle up and down the town for a massel and a scoundrel no chie for you sirrah chal come say no more chal come tell him well sir my master deserves not this of you and that you'll shortly find

no matter he's an unthrift i defy him now gentle son let me know the place no chive o you let me see the note nay she'll watch you for zuch a trick but if she meet him zoe if not zoe she'll make him know me or she'll know why i shall not

till vere the wess what will you then neglect my daughter's love venture your state and hers for a loose brawl why man chill not kill him marry till vese him to and again and so guide me with you father what man we shall meet to-morrow

Who would a thought he had been so desperate? Come forth, my honest servant, Artichoke. Enter Artichoke. Now what's the matter? Some brawl toward, I'll warrant you? Go get me thy sword bright scoured, thy buckler mended. Oh, for that knave, that villain daffodil, would have done good service. But to thee.

Aye, this is the tricks of all you gentlemen, when you stand in need of a good fellow. Oh, for that daffodil, oh, where is he? But if you be angry, and it be but for the wagging of a straw, then, out doors with the knave, turn the coat over his ears, this is the humor of you all. Oh, for that knave, that lusty daffodil.

why that is now our year's wages and our vales will scarce pay for broken swords and bucklers that we use in our quarrels but i'll not fight if daffodil be at other side that's flat

"'Tis no such matter, man. Get weapons ready, and be at London ere the break of day. Watch near the lodging of the Devonshire youth, but be unseen. And as he goes out, as he will go out, and that very early without doubt—' "'What, would you have me draw upon him as he goes in the street?'

"'Not for a world, man. Into the fields, for to the field he goes, there to meet the desperate Flowerdale. Take thou the part of Oliver my son, for he shall be my son, and marry Lucy. Doest understand me, knave?' "'Aye, sir, I do understand you, but my young mistress might be better provided in matching with my fellow Daffodil.'

no more daffodil is a knave that daffodil is a most notorious knave exit artichoke enter weathercock master weathercock you come in happy time the desperate flowerdale hath writ a challenge and who think you must answer it but the devonshire man my son oliver

"'Mary, I am sorry for it, good Sir Lancelot, but if you will be ruled by me, we'll stay the fury.' "'As how, I pray?' "'Mary, I'll tell you. By promising young Flowerdale the red-lipped Lucy.' "'I'll rather follow her unto her grave.'

my sir launcelot i would have thought so too but you and i have been deceived in him come read this will or deed or what you call it i know not come come your spectacles i pray nay i thank god i see very well sir launcelot marry bless your eyes mine hath been dim almost this thirty years

ha what is this what is this nay there is true love indeed he gave it to me but this very morn and bid me keep it unseen from any one

good youth to see how men may be deceived passion of me what a wretch am i to hate this loving youth he hath made me together with my lucy he loves so dear executors of all his wealth all all good man he hath given you all

three ships now in the straits and homeward bound two lordships of two hundred pound a year the one in wales the other in gloucestershire debts and accounts are thirty thousand pound plate money jewels sixteen thousand more two howson furnished well in coleman street

beside whatsoever his uncle leaves to him being of great demeans and wealth at peckham how like you this good knight how like you this i have done him wrong but now i'll make amends the devonshire man shall whistle for a wife he marry lucy lucy shall be flowerdale's

why that is friendly said let's ride to london and prevent their match by promising your daughters that lovely lad we'll ride to london or it shall not need we'll cross to dudford strand and take a boat where be these knaves what artichoke what fop

Here be the very knaves, but not the merry knaves. Here, take my cloak. I'll have a walk to Deadford.

Sir, we have been scouring of our swords and bucklers in your defense. Defense may no defense. Let your swords rust. I'll have no fighting. Aye, let blows alone. Bid Dilya see all things be in readiness against the wedding. We'll have two at once, and that will save charges, Master Weathercock. Well, we will do it, sir.

Exit omnes. End of Act 2.

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ACT III SCENE I. A WALK BEFORE SIR LANCELOT'S HOUSE. ENTER SIVET, FRANCIS AND DELIA.

by my truth this is good luck i thank god for this in good sooth i have even my heart's desire sister delia now i may boldly call you so for your father hath frank and freely given me his daughter frances ay by my troth tom thou hast my good will too for i thank god i longed for a husband and would i might never stir for one his name was tom why sister now you have your wish

you say very true sister delia and i pray thee call me nothing but tom and i'll call thee sweetheart and francis will it not do well sister delia it will do very well with both of you but tom must i go as i do now when i am married no francis i'll have thee go like a citizen in a guarded gown and a french hood by my troth that will be excellent indeed

brother maintain your wife to your estate apparel you yourself like to your father and let her go like to your ancient mother he sparing got his wealth left it to you brother take heed of pride it soon bids swift due so as my father and my mother went that suggests indeed why she went in a fringed gown a single ruffle and a white cap

and my father in a macata coat a pair of red satin sleeves and a canvas back and yet his wealth was all as much as yours my estate my estate i thank god is forty pound a year in good leases and tenements besides twenty mark a year at cuckold's haven and that comes to us all by inheritance

That may, indeed, this very fitly plight. I know not how it comes, but so it falls out, that those whose fathers have died wondrous rich, and took no pleasure but to gather wealth, thinking of little that they leave behind, for them they hope will be of their like mind. But it falls out contrary. Forty

You say well, Sister Delia, you say well.

"'but I mean to live within my bounds. "'For look you, I have set down my rest thus far, "'but to maintain my wife in a French hood, "'and her coach, keep a couple of gildings "'and a brace of greyhounds, "'and this is all I'll do.' "'And you'll do this with forty pound a year?' "'Aye, and a better penny, sister.' "'Sister, you forget that at Cuckold's Haven.' "'By my troth, well remembered, Francis, "'I'll give thee that to buy thee pins.'

keep you the rest for points alas the day fools shall have wealth though all the world say nay come brother will you in dinner stays for us ay good sister with all my heart ay by my troth tom for i have a good stomach and i the like sweet rancis no sister do not think i'll go beyond my bounds god grant you may not exit

SCENE 2. LONDON, THE STREET BEFORE YOUNG FLOWERDALE'S HOUSE. Enter Young Flowerdale and his father, with foils in their hands. Sirrah, Kit, tarry thou there. I have spied Sir Lancelot and old Weathercock coming this way. They are hard at hand. I will by no means be spoken with all. I'll warrant you. Go, get you in. Enter Lancelot and Weathercock.

Now, my honest friend, thou doest belong to Master Flowerdale. I do, sir. Is he within, my good fellow? No, sir, he is not within. I prithee, if he be within, let me speak with him. Sir, to tell you true, my master is within, but indeed would not bespoke withal.

There be some terms that stand upon his reputation; therefore he will not admit any conference till he hath shook them off. I prithee, tell him his very good friend Sir Lancelot Spurcock entreats to speak with him. By my troth, sir, if you come to take up the matter between my master and the Devonshire man, you do not but beguile your hopes, and lose your labour.

honest friend i have not any such thing to him i come to speak with him about other matters for my master sir hath set down his resolution either to redeem his honour or to leave his life behind him

my friend i do not know any quarrel touching thy master or any other person my business is of a different nature to him and i prithee so tell him or howsoever the devonshire man is my master's mind is bloody that's a round o and therefore sir entreat is but vain i have no such thing to him i tell thee once again

i will then so signify to him exit father ay sirrah i see this matter is hotly carried but i'll labour to dissuade him from it enter flowerdale good morrow master flowerdale

"'Good morrow, good Sir Lancelot. Good morrow, Master Weathercock. By my troth, gentlemen, I have been a reading over Nick Machiavelle. I find him good to be known, not to be followed. A pestilent, humane fellow. I have made certain annotations of him, such as they be.'

and howest sir lancelot ha howest a mad world men cannot live quiet in it master flowerdale i do understand there is some jar between the devonshire man and you they sir they're as good friends as can be who master oliver and i as good friends as can be

it is a kind of safety in you to deny it and a generous silence which too few are endued withal but sir such a thing i hear and i could wish it otherwise no such thing sir lancelot ay my reputation as i am an honest man now i do believe you then if you do engage your reputation there is none

nay i do not engage my reputation there is not you shall not bind me to any condition of hardness but if there be anything between us then there is if there be not then there is not be or be not all is one i do perceive by this that there is something between you and i am very sorry for it

you may be deceived sir lancelot the italian hath a pretty pang questo i forgot it too tis out of my head but in my translation if told thus

if thou hast a friend keep him if a foe trip him come i do see by this there is somewhat between you and before god i could wish it otherwise well words between us can hardly be altered sir lancelot i am to ride forth to-morrow that way which i must ride no man must deny me the sun

I would not by any particular man be denied common and general passage. If any one saith, Flowerdale, thou passest not this way, my answer is, I must either on or return. But return is not my word. I must on. If I cannot, then make my way. Nature hath done the last for me.

and there's the fine. Master Flowerdale, every man hath one tongue and two ears. Nature in her building is a most curious workmaster. That is as much as to say a man should hear more than he should speak. You say true, and indeed I have heard more than at this time I will speak.

"'You say well.' "'Slanders are more common than truths, Master Flowerdale, but proof is the rule for both.' "'You say true. What do you call him, hath it, there in his third canton?' "'I have heard you have been wild. I have believed it.' "'Twas fit. Twas necessary.'

but i have seen somewhat of late in you that hath confirmed in me an opinion of goodness toward you in faith sir i am sure i never did you harm some good i have done either to you or yours i am sure you know not neither is it my will you should your will sir

aye my will sir foot do you know aught of my will begad and you do sir i am abused

go master flowerdale what i know i know and know you thus much out of my knowledge that i truly love you for my daughter she's yours and if you like a marriage better than a brawl all quirks of reputation set aside go with me presently

and where you should fight a bloody battle you shall be married to a lovely lady nay but sir lancelot if you will not embrace my offer yet assure yourself thus much

i will have order to hinder your encounter nay but hear me sir lancelot nay stand not you upon imputative honour tis merely unsound unprofitable and idle inferences

your business is to wed my daughter therefore give me your present word to do it i'll go and provide the maid therefore give me your present resolution either now or never will you so put me to it ay afore god either take me now or take me never else what i thought should be our match shall be our parting so fare you well for ever

stay fall out what may fall my love is above all i will come i expect you and so fare you well exit sir lancelot now sir how shall we do for wedding apparel by the mass that's true now help kit the marriage ended we'll make amends for all well no more prepare you for your bride

will not want for clothes whatsoe'er betide and thou shalt see when once i have my dower in mirth will spend full many a merry hour as for this wench i not regard a pin it is her gold must bring my pleasures in exit is possible he hath his second living forsaking god himself to the devil giving

but that i knew his mother firm and chaste my heart would say my head she had disgraced else i would swear he never was my son but her fair mind so foul a deed did shun enter uncle uncle oh now brother how do you find your son oh brother heedless as a libertine ever grown a master of the school of vice one that doth nothing but invent deceit

for all the day he humours up and down how he the next day might deceive his friend he thinks of nothing but the present time for one groat ready down he'll pay a shilling but then the lender must needs stay for it when i was young i had the scope of youth both wild and wanton careless and desperate but such made strains as he's possessed withal i thought it a wonder for to dream upon

"'I told you so, but you would not believe it.' "'Well, I have found it. But one thing comforts me. Brother, tomorrow he is to be married to beauteous Lucy, Sir Lancelot Spurcock's daughter.' "'Is't possible?' "'Tis true, and thus I mean to curb him. This day, brother, I will you shall arrest him.'

"'If anything will tame him, it must be that, for he is ranked in mischief, chained to a life that will increase his shame and kill his wife.' "'What? Arrest him on his wedding day? That were unchristian, and an inhumane part. How many couple even for that very day hath purchased seven years' sorrow afterward?'

"'Forbear him then today, do it tomorrow, and this day mingle not his joy with sorrow.' "'Brother, I'll have it done this very day, and in the view of all, as he comes from church, do but observe the course that he will take. Upon my life he will forswear the debt, and for we'll have the sum shall not be slight, say that he owes you near three thousand pound. Good brother, let it be done immediately.'

Well, seeing you will have it so, brother, I'll do it, and straight provide the sheriff. So, brother, by this means shall we perceive what Sir Lancelot in this pinch will do, and how his wife doth stand affected to him. Her love will then be tried to the uttermost, and all the rest of them. Brother, what I will do shall harm him much, and much avail him too. EXIT

scene three a high road near london enter oliver afterwards sir arthur greenswood jammer sure dick be the place that the scoundrel appointed to meet me

if i come zo if i come not zo and t were arise he should make a cloister o lanus t'd wease him and t'd wang him in hand t would hoist him and give it to again zo chert who been a there sir arthur t'd stay aside

"'I have dogged the Devonshire man into the field for fear of any harm that should befall him. I had an inkling of that yesternight that Flowerdale and he should meet this morning, though of my soul Oliver fears him not. Yet, for I'd see fair play on either side, made me come to see their valours tried. Good morrow to Master Oliver!' "'God and good morrow!' "'What, Master Oliver, are you angry?'

why ain't it be tit than grievin you not me at all sir but i imagine by your being here thus armed you stay for some that you should fight withal why ain't he do che would not desire you to take his part no by my troth i think you need it not for he you look for i think means not to come no and che var assure that che'd avise him in another place enter daffodil

O Sir Arthur, Master Oliver, ay me! Your love, and yours, and mine, sweet Mistress Lucy, this morn is married to young Flowerdale. Married? To Flowerdale? 'Tis impossible. Married, man, 'tis hope thou dost but jest to make an a voloutin' merriment of it. O 'tis too true. Here comes his uncle.

Enter Flowerdale, Sheriff, Officers. Good morrow, Sir Arthur. Good morrow, Master Oliver. Good and good morn, Master Flowerdale. I pray you tellin' us, is your scoundrel kinsman married? Master Oliver, call him what you will, but he is married to Sir Lancelot's daughter here.

unto her ay the old yellow zaved me thicc trick why man he was a promise chur chud a hadder is a zitch of ox chur look to his water chur for him the music plays they are coming from the church sheriff do your office fellows stand stoutly to it enter all to the wedding

God give you joy, as the old said proverb is, and some sorrow among. You met us well, did you not? "'Nay, be not angry, sir. The fault is in me. I have done all the wrong. Keep him from coming to the field to you as I might, sir, for I am a justice and sworn to keep the peace.'

i marry you sir of very justice and sworn to keep the peace you must not disturb the wedding nay never frown nor storm sir if you do i'll have an order taken for you well well chill be quiet master flowerdale sir launcelot look you who is here

Master Flowerdale. Master Flowerdale, welcome with all my heart. Uncle, this is she, in faith, Master Undersheriff. Arrest me. At whose suit? Draw, Kit. At my suit, sir. Why, what's the matter, Master Flowerdale? This is the matter, sir.

This unthrift here hath cousined you, and hath had of me, in several sums, three thousand pound. Why, uncle, uncle! Cousin, cousin, you have uncled me, and if you will not stayed, you'll provide a cousiner unto all who know you.

why sir suppose he be to you in debt ten thousand pound his state to me appears to be at least three thousand a year

"'Oh, sir, I was too late informed of that plot, how that he went about to cousin you, and formed a will, and sent it to your good friend here, Master Weathercock, in which was nothing true but brags and lies.' "'Hath he not such lordships, lands, and ships?' "'Not worth a groat, not worth a haypenny he.'

I pray tell us true, be plain, young Flowerdale. My uncle here's mad, and disposed to do my wrong. But here's my man, an honest fellow by the Lord, and of good credit, knows all is true. Not I, sir. I'm too old to lie. I rather know you forged a will, where every line you writ you studied where to coat your lands might lie.

and i prithee where be they honest friend a faith no where sir for he hath none at all benedicite we are all wretched i believe i am cozened and my hopefulst child undone

you are not cozened nor is she undone they slander me by this light they slander me look you my uncle hears an usurer and would undo me but i'll stand in law do you but bail me you shall do no more you brother civet and master weathercock

do but bail me let me have my marriage-money paid me and we'll ride down and there your own eye shall see how my poor tenants there will welcome me you shall but bail me you shall do no more and you greedy gnat their bail will serve ay sir i'll ask no better bail

No, sir, you shall not take my bail, nor his, nor my son Sivit's. I'll not deal with him. Let's uncle make false dice with his false bones. I will not have to do with him, mocked, gulled, and wronged. Come, girl, though it be late it falls out well, thou shalt not live with him in beggar's hell.

He is my husband, and high heaven doth know With what unwillingness I went to church. But you enforced me, you compelled me to it. The holy churchman pronounced these words but now. I must not leave my husband in distress. Now I must comfort him, not go with you. Comfort a cozener? On my curse forsake him. This day you caused me on your curse to take him. Do not, I pray, my grieved soul oppress. God knows my heart doth bleed at his distress.

Oh, Master Weathercock, I must confess I forced her to this match. Led with opinion, his false will was true. Aye, he happened to reach me too. She might have lived like Delia, in a happy virgin's state. Father, be patient. Sorrow comes too late.

and on her knees she begged and did entreat if she must needs taste a sad marriage life she craved to be sir arthur greenshood's wife you have done her and me the greater wrong oh take her yet not i

Or, Master Oliver, accept my child, and half my wealth is yours. No, sir, she'll break no laws. Never fear, she will not trouble you. Yet, sister, in this passion do not run headlong to confusion. You may affect him, though not follow him. Do, sister, hang him, let him go. Do, Faith, Mistress Lucy, leave him.

you three are gross fools let me alone i swear i'll live with him in all his moan but an he have his legs at liberty cham of yad he will never live with you ay but now he is in hucksters handling for running away

Housewife, you hear how you and I am wronged, and if you will redress it yet you may; but if you stand on terms to follow him, never come near my sight nor look on me. Call me not father, look not for a groat, for all thy portion I will this day give unto thy sister Frances. How say you to that, Tom? I shall have a good deal.

Besides, I'll be a good wife, and a good wife is a good thing, I can tell. Peace, Francis, I would be sorry to see thy sister cast away as I am a gentleman. What, are you yet resolved? Yes, I am resolved. Come then away, or now, or never come. This way I turn, go you unto your feast, and I to weep that I am with grief oppressed. Forever fly my sight.

Come, gentlemen, let's in. I'll help you to far better wives than her. Delia, upon my blessing, talk not to her. This baggage, in such haste to beggary! Sheriff, take your prisoner to your charge. Uncle, begot, you have used me very hardly. By my troth, upon my wedding day.

Exit, all but Lucy, young Flowerdale, his father, uncle, sheriff, and officers. Oh, Master Flowerdale, hear me but speak. Stay but a little while, good Master Sheriff. If not for him, for my sake pity him. Good sir, stop not your ears at my complaint. My voice grows weak, for women's words are faint. Look, you uncle, she kneels to you.

fair maid for you i love you with my heart and grieve sweet soul thy fortune is so bad that thou shouldst match with such a graceless youth go to thy father think not upon him whom hell hath mocked to be the son of shame

impute his wildness sir unto his youth and think that now is the time he doth repent alas what good or gain can you receive to imprison him that nothing hath to pay and where naught is the king doth lose his due oh pity him and god shall pity you lady i know his humours all too well and nothing in the world can do him good but misery itself to chain him with

say that your debts were paid then he is free ay virgin that being answered i have done but to him that is all as impossible as i to scale the high pyramids sheriff take your prisoner maiden fare thee well oh go not yet good master flowerdale take my word for the debt my word my bond ay by god uncle and my bond too

"'Alas, I ne'er ought nothing but I paid it, and I can work. "'Alas, he can do nothing. "'I have some friends perhaps will pity me. "'His chiefest friends do seek his misery. "'All that I can or beg, get, or receive shall be for you. "'Oh, do not turn away, methinks, within a face so reverent, "'so well experienced in this tottering world, "'should have some feeling of a maiden's grief.'

for my sake his father's and your brother's sake i for your soul's sake that doth hope for joy pity my state do not two souls destroy fair maid stand up not in regard of him but in pity of thy hapless choice i do release him master sheriff i thank you and officers there is for you to drink here maid take this money

there is a hundred angels, and for I will be sure he shall not have it. Here, Kester, take it you, and use it sparingly, but let not her have any want at all. Dry your eyes, niece. Do not too much lament for him, whose life hath been in riot spent. If well he useth thee, he gets him friends, if ill, a shameful end on him depends."

Exit Uncle. Plague go with you for an old fornicator. Come, Kit, the money. Come, honest Kit. Nay, by my faith, sir, you shall pardon me. And why, sir, pardon you? Give me the money, you old rascal, or I shall make you. Pray hold your hands. Give it him, honest friend. If you be so content with all my heart.

content sir sblood she shall be content whether she will or no a rattle-baby come to follow me go get you gone to the greasy chuff your father bring me your dowry or never look on me sir she hath forsook her father and all her friends for you hang thee her friends and father altogether

yet part with something to provide her lodging yes i mean to part with her and you but if i part with one angel hang me at a post i'll rather throw them at a cast at dice as i have done a thousand of their fellows nay then i will be plain degenerate boy thou hadst a father would have been ashamed

My father was an ass, an old ass. Thy father? Proud licentious villain! What, are you at your foils? I'll foil with you. Good sir, forbear him. Did not this whining woman hang on me? I'd teach thee what it was to abuse thy father. Go, hang, beg, starve, dice, game. Then when all is gone, thou mayest after despair and hang thyself.

Oh, do not curse him. I do not curse him, and to pray for him were vain. Grieves me that he bears his father's name. Well, you old rascal, I shall meet with you. Sirrah, get you gone. I will not strip the livery over your ears, because you paid for it. But do not use my name, Sirrah. Do you hear? Look you do not use my name. You were best.

Pay me the twenty pound, then, that I lent you, or give me security when I may have it. I'll pay thee not a penny, and for security I'll give thee none. Minkins, look you do not follow me, look you do not. If you do, beggar, I shall slit your nose. Alas, what shall I do? Why, turn whose, that's a good trade, and so perhaps I'll see thee now and then.

exit flowerdale alas the day that ever i was born sweet mistress do not weep i'll stick to you alas my friend i know not what to do my father and my friends they have despised me and i a wretched maid thus cast away knows neither where to go nor what to say it grieves me at the soul to see her tears thus stain the crimson roses of her cheeks lady take comfort do not mourn in vain

I have a little living in this town, which I think comes to a hundred pound. All that and more shall be at your dispose. I'll straight go help you to some strange disguise, and place you in a service in this town, where you shall know all, yet yourself be unknown. Come, grieve no more, where no help can be had. Weep not for him that is more worse than bad. I thank you, sir. Exeunt. End of Act 3.

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Act 4 of The London Prodigal by William Shakespeare. This is a LibriVox recording. All LibriVox recordings are in the public domain. For more information or to volunteer, please visit LibriVox.org. Act 4. Scene 1. A room in Sir Lancelot Spurcock's house in Kent.

Enter Sir Lancelot, Master Weathercock, and them. Well, job in'served many a slattish trick, but such a larry-pooper stick you was never a-served. Son Sibbitt, daughter Frances, bear with me. You see how I am pressed down with inward grief about that luckless girl, your sister Lucy.

but tis fallen out with me as with many families beside they are most unhappy that are most beloved father tis so tis even fallen out so but what remedy sit hand to your heart and let it pass here is your daughter frances and i and will not say will bring forth his witty children but as pretty children as ever she was

though she had the prick in praise for a pretty wench but father done is the mouse you'll come ay son said it i'll come and you master oliver ay but ye're vexed out o this veast ye'll see if i gan make a better veast there and you sir arthur

Aye, sir, although my heart be full, I'll be a partner at your wedding feast. And welcome all indeed, and welcome. Come, Francis, are you ready? Yezu, how hasty these husbands are! I pray, Father, pray to God to bless me. God bless thee, and I do. God make thee wise.

send you both joy. I wish it with wet eyes. But, father, shall not my sister Delia go along with us? She is excellent good at cookery and such things. Yes, merry shall she. Delia, make you ready. I am ready, sir. I will first go to Greenwich, from thence to my cousin Chesterfield's, and so to London.

it shall suffice good sister Delia, it shall suffice. but fail us not, good sister. give order to cooks and others, for I would not have my sweet Frances to soil her fingers. Delia. no, by my troth, not I. a gentlewoman, and a married gentlewoman too, to be companions to cooks and kitchen-boys, not I. why, faith, I scorn that. Francis. why, I do not mean thou shalt, sweetheart.

though seest i do not go about it well farewell to you god's pity master weathercock we shall have your company too with all my heart for i love good cheer well god be with you all come francis god be with you father god be with you sir arthur master oliver and master weathercock sister god be with you all god be with you father god be with you every one

exeunt civet and francis why how now sir arthur all a mort master o'lour how now man cheerily sir launcelot and merrily say who can hold that will away ay she is gone indeed poor girl undone

but when they'll be self-willed children must smart but sir that she is wronged you are the chiefest cause therefore tis reason you redress her wrong indeed you must sir lancelot you must must who can compel me master weathercock i hope i may do what i list

I grant you may. You may do what you list. Nay, but an you be vising that we're not good by this vrampalness and vrowardness to cast away a prettier dowsabell as any to chance to see in a summer's day. To tell you what shall do.

to go spy up and down the town and see if i can hear any tale or tidings of her and take her away from thicka mysell for jam assured he'll but bring her to the spoil and so var you well we shall meet at your son civet's i thank you sir i take it very kindly to find her out i'll spend my dearest blood so well i loved her to affect her good exit both

O Master Weathercock, what hap had I to force my daughter from Master Oliver, and this good knight, to one that hath no goodness in his thought? He'll luck, but what remedy? Yes, I have almost devised a remedy.

Young Flowerdale is sure a prisoner. Sure? Nothing more sure. And yet, perhaps, his uncle hath released him. It may be very like. No doubt he an'th. Well, if he be in prison, I'll have warrants to tatch my daughter till the law be tried, for I will sue him upon cousinage.

marry you may and overthrow him too hector nay that's not so i may chance be soft and sentence past with him hector believe me so he may therefore take heed hector well howsoever yet i will have warrants in prison or at liberty all's one you will help to serve them master weathercock exit omnes

Scene 2. A Street in London. Enter Flowerdale. A plague of the devil! The devil take the dice. The dice and the devil and his dam go together. Of all my hundred golden angels, I have not left me one denier. A pox have come a five. What shall I do? I can borrow no more of my credit.

There's not any of my acquaintance, man nor boy, but I have borrowed more or less off. I would I knew where to take a good purse and go clear away by this light. I'll venture for it. God's lid. My sister Delia. I'll rob her by this hand. Enter Delia and Artichoke.

I pray thee, Artichoke, go not so fast. The weather is hot, and I am something weary. Nay, I warrant you, Mistress Delia, I'll not tire you with leading. We'll go in extreme moderate pace. Stand! Deliver your purse. O Lord! Thieves! Thieves! Exit, Artichoke. Come, come, your purse, lady, your purse. That voice I have heard often before this time—

Brother Flowerdale become a thief. Aye, a plague on it. I thank your father. But sister, come, your money, come. What, the world must find me. I am born to live. Tis not a sin to steal, when none will give. O God, is all grace banished from thy heart? Think of the shame that doth attend this fact.

Shame me, no shame. Come, give me your purse. I'll bind you, sister, lest I fare the worse. No, bind me not. Hold, there is all I have, and would that money would redeem thy shame. Enter Oliver, Sir Arthur, and Artichoke. Thieves, thieves, thieves! Thieves? Where, man? Why, how now, Mr. Stelia? Are you alike to be now robbed?

No, Master Oliver. This Master Flowerdale, he did but jest with me. How, Flowerdale, that scoundrel? Sirrah, you meetin' us well. Thank thee that. Well, sir, I'll not meddle with you, because I have a charge. Here, Brother Flowerdale, I'll lend you this same money. I thank you, sister. I want you a split, and you let the measle have a penny. But since you cannot keep it,

I'll keep it myself. Tis a pity to relieve him in this sort, who makes a triumphant life his daily sport. Brother, you see how all men censure you. Farewell, and I pray God amend your life. Come, to bring you along, and you're safe enough from twenty such scoundrels as Tickle one is. Farewell and be hanged, sirrah, as I think so thou wilt be shortly. Come, Sir Arthur. EXIT ALL BUT FLOWERDALE

A plague go with you for a carsey rascal. This Devonshire man, I think, is made all of pork. His hands made only for to heave up packs. His heart as fat and big as his face. His differing far from all brave gallant minds. As I to serve the hogs and drink with hinds. As I am very near now, well, what remedy?

When money means, and friends do grow so small, Then farewell, life, and there's an end of all. Exit. Scene 3. Another street, before Sivit's house. Enter Father, Lucy like a Dutch frowl, Sivit, and his wife-mistress Frances. By my troth, God a mercy for this good Christopher! I thank thee for my maid, I like her very well.

How doest thou like her, Francis? In good sadness, Tom. Very well, excellent well. She speaks so prettily. I pray, what's your name? My name forsooth be called Tannikin. By my troth, a fine name. O Tannikin, you are excellent for dressing one's head in a new fashion. Me shall do every thing about the head. What countrywoman is she, Kester?

a dutchwoman sir. why then she is outlandish is she not? aye sir she is. oh then thou canst tell how to help me to cheeks and ears? yes mistress very well. cheeks and ears why mistress francis want you cheeks and ears? we think you have very fair ones. they are utter fool indeed. tom thou knowest what i mean. aye aye castartes such as they wear o the heads

A pretty kit have her in and show her my house. I will, sir. Come, Tannikin. Oh, Tom, you have not bussed me today, Tom. No, Francis, we must not kiss afore folks. God save me, Francis. Enter Delia and Artichoke. See yonder my sister Delia is come. Welcome, good sister. Welcome, good sister. Here do you like the tear of my head? Very well, sister.

i am glad you are come sister delia to give order for supper they will be here soon dea ay but if good luck had not served she had not been here now filching flowerdale had like to pepper us but for master oliver we had been robbed dea peace sarah no more dea robbed by whom dea marry by none but flowerdale he is turned thief dea by my faith but that is not well but god be praised for your escape

Will you draw near, sister? Sirrah, come hither. Would Flowerdale, he that was my master, have robbed you? I pray thee, tell me true. Yes, if faith, even that Flowerdale that was thy master. Hold thee, there is a French crown, and speak no more of this. Not I, not a word. How do I smell knavery? In every purse Flowerdale takes, he is half, and gives me this to keep counsel. Nope, not a word, I.

by god a mercy. sister look here i have a new dutch maid and she speaks so fine it would do your heart good. how do you like her sister? i like your maid well. well dear sister will you draw near and give directions for supper? guests will be here presently. yes brother lead the way i'll follow you. exit all but Delia and Lucy.

hark you dutch frau a word what is your will wi me sister lucy tis not your broken language nor this same habit can disguise your face from that i know you

Pray tell me, what means this? Sister, I see you know me, yet be secret. This borrowed shape that I have ta'en upon me is but to keep myself a space unknown, both for my father and my nearest friends, until I see how time will bring to pass the desperate course of Master Flowerdale.

Oh, he is worse than bad. I prithee, leave him, and let not once thy heart to think on him. Do not persuade me once to such a thought. Imagine yet that he is worse than naught. Yet one hour's time may all that ill undo that all his former life did run into. Therefore, kind sister, do not disclose my estate, if e'er his heart doth turn is ne'er too late. Well,

Seeing no counsel can remove your mind, I'll not disclose you that are willful blind. Delia, I thank you. I now must please her eyes, my sister Frances, neither fair nor wise. Exit Omnes. End of Act 4. This episode is brought to you by Peloton.

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Act 5 of The London Prodigal by William Shakespeare. This is a LibriVox recording. All LibriVox recordings are in the public domain. For more information or to volunteer, please visit LibriVox.org. Act 5. Scene 1. Scene before Sivitz House. Enter Flowerdale Solace.

on goes he that knows no end of his journey i have passed the very utmost bounds of shifting i have no course now but to hang myself i have lived since yesterday two o'clock of a spice-cake i had at a burial and for drink i got it at an alehouse among porters such as will bear out a man if he have no money indeed

i mean out of their companies for they are men of good carriage who comes here the two coney catchers that won all my money of me i'll try if they'll lend me any enter dick and rafe what master richard how do you how doest thou rafe by god gentlemen the world grows bare with me

will you do as much as lend me an angel between you both you know you won a hundred of me the other day how an angel god damn us if we lost not every penny within an hour after thou wert gone i prithee lend me so much as will pay for my supper i'll pay you again as i am a gentleman

If faith, we have not a farthing, not a mite. I wonder at it, Master Flowerdale, you will so carelessly undo yourself, why you will lose more money in an hour than any honest man spend in a year. For shame betake you to some honest trade, and live not thus so like a vagabond. Exit both. Vagabond indeed. More villains you. They give me counsel that first cozened me. Those devils first brought me to this I am.

and being thus the first that do me wrong well yet i have one friend left in store not far from hence there dwells a cockatrice one that i first put in a satin gown and not a tooth that dwells within her head but stands me at the least in twenty pound her will i visit now my coin is gone and as i take it here dwells the gentlewoman what ho is mistress apricot within

Enter Ruffian. RUFFIAN. What saucy rascal is that which knocks so boldly? Oh, is it you? Old Spendthrift, are you here? One that is telling his cousin about this town. My mistress saw you and sends this word by me. Either be packing quickly from the door, or you shall have such a greeting sent you straight as you will little like on.

you had best begone why so this is as it should be being poor thus art thou served by a vile painted whore well since thy damned crew do so abuse thee i'll try of honest men how they will use me enter an ancient citizen sir i beseech you to take compassion of a man

one whose fortunes have been better than at this instant they seem to be but if i might crave of you some such little portion as would bring me to my friends i should rest thankful till i had requited so great a courtesy fie fie young man this course is very bad too many such have we about this city yet for i have not seen you in this sort nor noted you to be a common beggar

Hold, there's an angel to bear your charges down. Go to your friends, to not on this depend. Such bad beginnings oft have worser ends. Exit, citizen. Worser ends? Nay, if it fall out no worse than in old angels, I care not. Nay, now I have had such a fortunate beginning.

I will not let a six-penny purse escape me. By the Mass! Here comes another. Enter a citizen's wife with a torch before her. God bless you, fair mistress. Now would it please you, gentlewoman, to look into the wants of a poor gentleman, a younger brother? I doubt not, but God will trouble restore it back again.

one that never before this time demanded penny halfpenny nor farthing stay alexander now by my troth a very proper man and it's great pity hold my friend there's all the money i have about me-a couple of shillings and god bless thee

Now, God thank you, sweet lady, if you have any friend or garden-house where you may employ a poor gentleman as your friend. I am yours to command in all secret service. I thank you, good friend. Ay, pretty, let me see that again I gave thee. There is one of them a brass shilling. Give me them. And here is half a crown in gold. He gives it her.

now out upon thee rascal secret service wouldst thou make of me it were a good deed to have thee whipped now i have my money again i'll see thee hanged before i give thee a penny secret service on good alexander exit both this is villainous luck i perceive dishonesty will not thrive here comes more

god forgive me sir arthur and master oliver for god i'll speak to them enter sir arthur and mr oliver god save you sir arthur god save you master oliver by new there sirrah come will ye take yourself to your tools

nay master oliver i'll not fight with you alas sir you know it was not my doings it was only a plot to get sir lancelot's daughter by god i never meant you harm and whore is the gentlewoman thy wife mazel whore is she

by my troth master oliver sick very sick and god is my judge i know not what means to make for her good gentlewoman tell me true is she sick tell me true it's vice thee yes faith i tell you true master oliver if you would do me the small kindness but to lend me forty shillings

So God help me. I will pay you so soon as my ability shall make me able, as I am a gentleman. Well, thou sayest thy wife is sick? Hold, there's forty shillings. Give it to thy wife. Look, thou give it to her, or I shall so vease thee. Thou wilt not so vease this seven year. Look to it.

in faith master oliver it is in vain to give to him that never thinks of her oliver well would she could he wind it sir arthur i tell you true sir arthur as i am a gentleman oliver very well sir arthur come sir arthur exit both

by the lord this is excellent five golden angels compassed in an hour if this trade hold i'll never seek a new welcome sweet gold and beggary adieu enter uncle and father see kester if you can find the house who's here my uncle and my man kester by the mast is they

how do you uncle how dost thou kester by my troth uncle you must needs lend me some money the poor gentleman my wife so god help me is very sick i was robbed of the hundred angels you gave me they are gone kester ay they are gone indeed come kester away

Nay, uncle, do you hear, good uncle? Out, hypocrite, I will not hear thee speak. Come, leave him, Kester. Kester, honest Kester. Sir, I have naught to say to you. Open the door, Tannikin. Thou wouldst best lock it fast, for there's a false knave without. You are an old lying rascal, so you are. Exit, both. Enter, Lucy.

What is the matter? What be you, Yonker? By this light, a Dutch frau. They say they are called kind. By this light, I'll try her. What bin you, Yonker? Why do you not speak? By my troth, sweetheart, a poor gentleman that would desire of you, if it would stand with your liking, the bounty of your purse. Enter Father. O, hear God, so young and armine!

are mine sweetheart i know not what you mean by that but i am almost a beggar isab are you not a married man where bin your wife here is all i have take dis what gold jungfrau this is brave if he have any grace he'll now repent isab why speak you not where be your vife dead dead she's dead

"'Tis she hath undone me, spent me all I had, and kept rascals under my nose to brave me.'" "'Did you use her, Vel?' "'Use her? There's never a gentlewoman in England could be better used than I did her. I could but coach her. Her diet stood me in forty pound a month. But she is dead, and in her grave my care are buried.'" "'Indeed, that was not scone.'

He has turned more devil than he was before. Thou doest belong to Master Sivit here? Doest thou not? Yes, me do. Why, there's it. There's not a handful of plate what belongs to me. God's my judge. If I had but such a wench as thou art, there's never a man in England would make more of her than I would do. So she had any stock.

they call within o y tannikin stay one doth call i shall come by and by again by this hand this dutch wench is in love with me were it not admiral to make her steal all civet's plate and run away twere beastly oh master flowerdale have you no fear of god nor conscience what do you mean by this wild course you take

what do i mean why to live that i mean to live in this sort fie upon the course your life doth show you are a very coward a coward i pray in what

why you will borrow sixpence of a boy snails is there such cowardice in that i dare borrow it of a man ay and of the tallest man in england if he will lend it me let me borrow how i can and let them come by it how they dare and it is well known i might a rid out a hundred times if i would so i might

it was not want of will but cowardice there was none that lends to you but know they gain and what is that but only stealth in you delia might hang you now did not her heart take pity on you for her sister's sake go get you hence lest lingering where you stay you fall into their hands you look not for i'll tarry here till the dutch frau comes if all the devils in hell were here exit father

Enter Sir Lancelot, Master Weathercock, and Artichoke. Where is the door? Are we not past it, Artichoke? Bithmas, here's one. I'll ask him. Do you hear, sir? What, are you so proud? Do you hear? Which is the way to Master Sivit's house? What, will you not speak?

Oh me, this is Filching Flowerdale. Oh wonderful, is this lewd villain here? Oh you cheating rogue, you cut purse corner-catcher! What ditch, you villain, is my daughter's grave? A cozening rascal that must make a will, take on him that strict habit, very that, when he should turn to angel, a dying grace.

"'I'll father-in-law you, sir. I'll make a will.' "'Speak, villain. Where's my daughter?' "'Poisoned, I warrant you, or knocked o' the head. "'And to abuse good Master Weathercock with his forged will. "'And Master Weathercock to make my grounded resolution "'than to abuse the Devonshire gentlemen. "'Go!'

away with him to prison wherefore to prison sir i will not go enter master civet his wife oliver sir arthur father and uncle

oh here's his uncle welcome gentlemen welcome all such a cousin are gentlemen a murderer too for anything i know my daughter is missing hath been looked for cannot be found a vild upon thee he is my kinsman though his life be wild therefore in god's name do with him what you will

"'Mary, to prison!' "'Refer to prison! Snick up, I owe you nothing!' "'Bring forth my daughter, then! Away with him!' "'Go seek your daughter. What do you lay to my charge?' "'Suspicion of murder! Go, away with him!' "'Murder! Dogs, I murder your daughter! Come, uncle, I know you'll bail me!'

Not I. Were there no more than I the jailer, thou the prisoner. Go, away with him. Enter Lucy, like a frowl. O my life, here, where will you hide a man? What hath the yonker done? Woman, he hath killed his wife.

his wife that is not good that is not seen hath not upon him his wife if you do i'll lay you by him have me no older way than you have him he tell me that he love me heartily lead away my maid to prison why tom will you suffer that no by your leave father she is no vagrant she is my wife's chambermaid and as true as the skin between any man's brows here

"Go to! You're both fools! Some civet of my life, this is a plot! Some straggling counterfeit preferred to you, no doubt to rob you of your plate and jewels. I'll have you led away to prison, troll!" "I am no troll, neither outlandish frow. Nor he, nor I shall to the prison go. Know you me now? Nay, never stand amazed."

father i know i have offended you and though that duty wills me bend my knees to you in duty and obedience yet this ways do i turn and to him yield my love my duty and my humbleness bastard in nature kneel to such a slave o master flowerdale if too much grief have not stopped up the organs of your voice then speak to her that is thy faithful wife or doth contempt of me thus tie thy tongue

turn not away i am no ethiop no wanton cressida nor changing helen but rather one made wretched by thy loss what turn'st thou still from me oh then i guess thee woefulest among hapless men i am indeed wife wonder among wives thy chastity and virtue hath infused another soul in me red with defame for in my blushing cheeks is seen my shame

Out, hypocrite! I charge thee, trust him not. Not trust him? By the hopes of after-bliss I know no sorrow can be compared to his. Well, since thou wert ordained to beggary, follow thy fortune. I defy thee, I. He would she were so well he doused as was ever white-clothed a talking mill, and she ha' not made me weep.

if he hath any grace he'll now repent it moves my heart by my truth i must weep i cannot choose none but a beast would such a maid misuse

content thyself i hope to win his favour and to redeem my reputation lost and gentlemen believe me i beseech you i hope your eyes shall behold such change as shall deceive your expectation i would she were ye split now but she believe him sir lear how believe him sir lear by the makkins i do

what do you think that ere he will have grace by my faith it will go hard well chee for ye he is changed and master flowerdale in hope you'll bin so hold there's voughty pound toward your zetting up why be not ashamed vangit man vangit be a good husband lovin your wife and you shall not want for voughty more i

My means are little, but if you'll follow me, I will instruct you my ablest power. But to your wife I give this diamond, and prove true diamond fair in all your life. Thanks, good Sir Arthur, Master Oliver. You being my enemy, and grown so kind, binds me in all endeavor to restore...

"'What? Restore me no restorings, man. I have forty pound more for Lucy here, dang it. Zuth, chill the vee Londoners. What, do not think me a measle or a scoundrel to throw away my money. She have a hundred pound more to pace of any good spartation. I hope your vada and your uncle here will follow my examples.' "'You have guessed right of me,'

If he leave of this course of life, he shall be mine heir. But he shall never get a groat of me, a cozener, a deceiver, one that killed his painful father, honest gentleman, that passed the fearful danger of the sea to get him living and maintain him brave. Well, I think he killed his father.

ay sir with conceit of his wild courses sir you are misinformed why thou old knave thou told'st me so thyself i wronged him then and toward my master's stock there's twenty nobles for to make amends no kester i have troubled thee and wronged thee more what thou in love gives i in love restore

Ha, ha, sister. There, you played Bo-Peep with Tom. What shall I give her toward household? Sister Delilah, shall I give her my fan? You were best asked your husband. Shall I, Tom? Aye, do, Francis. I'll buy thee a new one, with a long handle. A russet one, Tom? Aye, with russet feathers. Here, sister, there's my fan toward household, to keep you warm. I thank you, sister. Why, this is well...

and towards fair lucy's stock is forty shillings and forty shillings more i'll give her marry come sir launcelot i must have you friends not i all this is counterfeit he will consume it were it a million

Sir, what is your daughter's dower worth? Had she been married to an honest man, it had been better than a thousand pound. Pay it him, and I'll give you my bond, to make her jointer better worth than three. Your bond, sir? Why, what are you? One whose word in London, though I say it, will pass for as much as yours. Wirt not thou late that unthrift's serving man?

Look on me better, now my scar is off. Ne'er muse man at this metamorphosis. Master Flowerdale! My father! O, I shame to look on him! Pardon, dear father, the follies that are past. Son, son, I do, enjoy at this thy change, and applaud thy fortune in this virtuous maid whom heaven hath sent to thee to save thy soul.

This addeth joy to joy. High heaven be praised.

I caused that rumor to be spread myself, because I'd see the humors of my son, which to relate the circumstance is needless. And, sirrah, see you run no more into that same disease. For he that's once cured of that malady, of riot, swearing, drunkenness, and pride, and falls again into the like distress, that fever is deadly, doth till death endure. Such men die mad as of a calender. Heaven helping me!

I'll hate the course as hell. Say it and do it, cousin. All is well. Well, being in hope you'll prove an honest man, I take you to my favour. Brother Flowerdale, welcome with all my heart. I see your care hath brought these acts to this conclusion, and I am glad of it. Come, let's in and feast.

Nay, zoft you're wild, you promised to make Sir Arthur me amends. Here's your wisest order. See which aunts she'll have. A god's name. You have my good will. Get hers. How say you then, damsel, tight as hate? I, sir, am yours. Why then, send for a vicar, and she'll have it dispatched in a trice or two.

pardon me sir i mean i am yours in love in duty and affection but not to love as wife shall never be said delia was buried married but a maid delia do not condemn yourself forever virtuous fair you were born to love marcus well you say true sir arthur she would a be a doot so well as her mother but i pray you show us some zemples or reasons why you will not marry

not that i do condemn a married life for tis no doubt a sanctimonious thing but for the care and crosses of a wife the trouble in that world that children bring my vow is in heaven in earth to live alone husbands howsoever good i will have none why then she will live bachelor too she set not a vig by a wife if a wife set not a vig by me come shall's go to dinner

Tomorrow I crave your companies in Mark Lane. Tonight we'll frolic in Master Sivit's house, and to each health drink down a full carouse. FINIS. End of Act 5.

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