Luke Bryan | Club Random with Bill Maher
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You'd get blood all over you if you didn't. All over you. And you want that? That's just the way it is. Jesus, what a bunch of red men. I like this, uh... Did you dress me or did I dress you? Oh, yeah. What a great pleasure to meet you. Hey, great to see you. Music royalty in the house. Oh, well... Royalty. Royalty's, uh... Be careful with that one. Are you here for the Grammys or the fire? Well, we, uh...

We're typing Idol tomorrow. But are you involved in the Grammys this year? It's coming up in a minute, right? It's coming up, and...

Kind of missed out on some Grammy nominations through the years. Well, sweetheart, you're talking in the old time. I've had 40 nominations, and they would never give it to me. It's not about me. Is it Susan Lu... Is it like Susan Lu... Is that the right reference? It's not. I understand where it comes from. Oh, nice there. But...

See, I haven't drank yet today because I'm on, I'm going to do vodka grapefruit. Oh, and you bring your own grapefruit? No, you guys provide it. Good. Somebody, one of your people. Yeah. I'll taste that. I'll try that one. I have a. Do a little half shot. Sure. I have a specific grapefruit person on the staff who just handles grapefruit. That's what a baller I am, Luke.

Are you serious? No, of course. You're kidding. Hell I do. Hell I, I was fixing to say we're, we're, what do you have? Like a big, big ass ranch. I'm guessing. Bill. I, um, really, uh, really fortunate. I cheers. Don't be modest. Thank you for coming. Thank you. Uh, highly overpoured, but we'll, we'll fix, fix that. But, uh,

No, it's good. So my business manager called me years ago, 2011, and one of his clients in town had a farm that was coming on the market. I had just started getting to where I was making a little money and could start thinking about a farm and a place to kind of settle. And we...

found 100, it's about 150 acres, about 20 minutes south of Nashville, literally cow pastures. That's where you guys all live. I'm surprised there's not much land still available since everybody seems to have the same fucking ranch with the cow pasture. Don't they butt up against each other? Isn't like Brad Paisley's cows always coming on your land and carry it? Brad's got his farm in the holler and

The holler. He's kind of in a holler. I'm in a cow pasture. Wait, I thought a holler, and the only thing I know about a holler is from the movie with Sissy Spacek. Right. Where she played Loretta Lynn. Right, a coal miner's daughter. Coal miner's daughter. Butcher holler. Butcher holler. I always thought a holler was like,

a ghetto in the country, like really a bad kind of poor area, but country version. Well, a holler, the best way to describe a holler is there's an old classic song that Brad actually, Brad Paisley actually re-recorded called You'll Never Leave Harlan Alive.

And it's a famous line is the sun comes up about 10 in the morning and it goes down about three in the day. So a holler is you're you got two mountains. It's essentially an Appalachian Valley.

It's what? A gully. A gully. A glen. A glen. I've never. Well, you know, like, from glen to glen. You know that from Danny Boy, right? You know Danny Boy. Don't know Danny Boy. Oh, come on. Is that a, so Danny Boy. Everybody, oh, Danny Boy.

Is that a musical? It's like the Irish anthem. Danny Boy, I'm sure. Hell, I'm redneck. I don't know. Everybody knows that no matter what color their neck is. Go back to your crew on Idol and ask them about Danny Boy and they'll all say, of course. Is it a musical? Oh, Danny Boy. No, it's like the Irish traditional folk song.

It's with bagpipes. It's awful. I'm sure I've heard it. You've heard it. I'm not probably singing it well. But that to me is what I feel like. Because, you know, I'm in Ireland, places like that. That's my heritage. You know, very similar in ways to Appalachia and, you know, very rural. Yeah. Clan-ish. I mean, the southern part of the United States is...

has sort of its character because it was founded and populated by Scots and Irish. Have you ever seen Gone with the Wind? Certainly. Okay, Scarlett O'Hara. Right. And her father has the brogue, Casey Scarlett. My Brian was an original, an O'Brien.

Oh, is that right? And they moved the, and my mother is adopted. So what was funny is we never knew anything. I've always had dark complexion and we always thought that I had maybe some Native American in me or something like that. But we, I'm 33% Scandinavian and about 20% Irish. So another 2%. 2% what? 2% West African. You are? Yeah. Oh, you had your thing done?

Wow. 23% in West Africa. Yeah. Well, that didn't come over in the Mayflower. That was much worship. Yeah, we did some bad things. But, you know, the good thing is, as Obama used to say, the arc bends more toward justice. You know, we keep, I think, basically getting better. I mean, don't tell that to the kids because they like to believe that things... I have to live...

With the hope that we are getting better. I believe it.

You sparking out over there? It's hysterical that these things, I say this every week, but how did they burn down half of Vietnam with these Zippo lighters? I just can never get, I get it at home, I put the lighter in, the fluid, and then I get here and it never works. Here you go. But I don't want that one. I want it to look like this. Cool. See, Bill, you can even do the cool flick. Cool? I can't even do it with two hands. It's not me. It's this fucking thing. I don't know why.

I don't know what I'm doing wrong. I may get a cigar. You can. I mean, I never understand what anyone sees in them, but if it makes you happy, I'd be more than happy to. What is that? No, it's just a little recreational. I don't even do it that much. I mean, I'm sure...

There are people who've sat right there who do it all day long, you know, but I never was that kind of guy. But for a special occasion with a special person, it's great to get to know you.

I have to be honest, growing up in New Jersey, country music was just not on my radar. It's just not something we did. So I'm slowly catching up to it because for so long, and it was my fault, I just wrote it off as like, that's just a different kind of music that I don't... And then slowly, I...

Even starting back in the 90s, I remember Brooks and Dunn, and then Obama used to play their Only in America song, which I love. And I was like, wow, this is not my granddaddy's country. It's a great electric. Well, it morphed into Americana with rock and roll. And I tell you, when I go play, when I'm in Jersey, when I'm up there in that part of...

When I'm up there in that part of the world and I see... Part of the world? Well, that's... Like we're Eskimos. It's fucking New Jersey. We have a turnpike, Luke. We have a turnpike. That you pay a toll on. Oh, we pay too many tolls. Too high taxes. And when I say that, when you grow up in South Georgia and you...

Start your music journey. And then you arrive in New Jersey and people are screaming your music.

It's one of the most proudest moments you could have as a musician because, and what was my term I used up there? What did I just say? You people? No, you said that part of the world. That part of the world. That unexplored foreign land. Mark, grab me a cigar out of my green bag, please, if you get a minute.

I can't sit here and let this man smoke alone. Clove cigarettes? That's what I used to call it because I thought they wouldn't let me do it. Again, we've changed so much. 32 years ago, reluctantly tried weed. And man, it's been something that I've never done a lot of, but I don't have those stigmas. Why do you say reluctantly?

Because, man, I grew up in the Bible Belt where it was built. It was seriously. What does the Bible say about it? Because I don't remember anything. Well, I don't even know why they called it the Bible Belt until somebody explained it to me. I don't remember anything in the Sermon on the Mount. I remember things about, you know, the meek shall inherit the earth. Right. You know, there were other very interesting. I mean, Jesus was quite the revolutionary philosopher. I don't remember anything about not sparking up.

You know, that it would corrupt you or, you know, whatever they said later about it. Well, oh. Devil's weed. No, no, no, no. Gateway. Gateway. Well, actually, it's funny. That's ironic because the gateway drug is actually beer. Well, and your parents' beer.

Well, I mean, the love that you country people have for beer is just something I've never, ever seen on this earth. I mean, the devotion, the singing about it, the encomiums. Well, and I've hit the subject a lot. It's fucking beer. I never understand that, the amount of songs.

Well, it's, you know, beer is really ingrained in the culture. I mean, it's from the football aspects of growing up in the South to sharing your first beer with your dad to sneaking your first beer, trying to buy your first beer, you know, with a fake ID. Wait, so you drank it with your dad before you snuck it?

Well, you know, when we were kids, I think if we were on a hunting trip or a fishing trip, as a kid, you'd have a... Beer? Well, you'd go, Dad, what does beer taste like? And your dad hands you a Budweiser, and you'd taste it and spit it out of the boat. So I just think it's a part of our... It's ingrained in our culture as... And...

It just, it's involved in when we play shows and honky-tonks and the fabric of, I mean, heck, when you look at There's a Tear in My Beer, Hank Williams, you know,

And that was 60 years ago. So beer's a pretty... Yeah, no, it's almost liturgical. It's almost like an ointment, like a sacrament. There's something almost... But did beer not mean that? Was it not... I hate beer. I think beer's gross. I mean, I've drunk way too much liquor in my life. It wasn't beer. I feel like...

Beer is a poor man's liquor. It's gassy. You need to drink a shitload of it to get high. I don't like wine either. I think wine's another, because they're both like six and eight or 10% alcohol or something. This shit's like 90. Get to the point. Yes. It's so funny. You guys, you like beer and moonshine.

Either 3% alcohol or 200. You're ingesting 3,000 calories or you're blackout in 10 minutes. Larry Flint used to give me moonshine. Larry Flint, remember him? Yeah, yeah. The hustler guy. Yeah. Club random. I'm getting the random now. The random is... Right, right. We try to live up to our name. Well... But no, I never liked beer. I remember the... I think it was the first thing I ever drank because...

I have a memory of being, I don't know, 14 or something, and at night, at night with a bunch of other ne'er-do-well, oh, we were a rough gang there in New Jersey. Oh, we grew up on the mean streets. Well, the mean circular driveways of Bergen County, New Jersey. No, we weren't rich at all, but it was, you know, like lower middle class. We had a little house and

So we went on the golf course and drank Rolling Rock beers. Rolling Rock. Did you have that in the South? We had Rolling Rock. They were called Green Grenades. They were like little bottles. Now, how old were y'all? Old enough that I threw up. Threw it up. I threw, yeah. Of course, your body rejects every drug you do at first because you shouldn't be doing it. Yeah, my first beers were...

Probably 15, 16, and then we would, every now and then we'd go get Old English, which was like a malt liquor beer. I remember one called Southern Comfort. Southern Comfort. That sounds like it may have come from your neck of the woods. We used to do Southern Comfort and Lemonade. Wow. That's as...

Did you ever do Bartles and James Fuzzy Navels? No. You remember those things? I remember Bartles and James, but I'm not even sure. Was that liquor? I thought it was some sort of wine cooler. It was like the first Smirnoff Ice. It was 10 years before Smirnoff Ice. There was Zimas. You remember Zimas? Vaguely, yeah.

Now, there was that terrible period when you're first drinking and you don't have a drink. So you got to sample them. You just drink anything. And they're down to what you don't throw up. I mean, it's just not good not to have a drink. You know, James Bond had a drink. Right. Vodka. Shaken, not stirred. You know, there was no... That's a man. You don't want to be like, um, planter's punch. I think

Whatever fucking thing you want. And the football players are endorsed. I mean, it's hard not to start. I know, but it's like that's what you expect from a young girl. What are you drinking? I don't know. Okay. You don't want to be there with liquor. You want to know. Listen, be glad.

You probably didn't do the Jager bombs. Oh, I did. I used to do Jager bombs. Did you do Jager bombs? I remember doing, oh my God, I can't even believe I did this to myself. I remember drinking, when I did finally get a drink, it was Jack Daniel. Right. For like 25 years. They sent me a plot of land.

Like just a one foot plot. Right, right. That's how much fucking Jack Daniels I was apparently consuming. And I remember drinking all night at like a Playboy mansion party. And then like at three in the morning,

starting with the Jägermeister. I mean, how could my body have taken that? Bill, I didn't realize you. I didn't realize all this drinking was going on. Well, that certainly wasn't every night, but yeah. Yeah, but I get it. But Jäger bombs were, oh, I mean. This is so terrible. The worst. You know what? And then, so my college drink, very interesting, Crown and Water.

As a 20, I didn't get to college until I was 21. Well, I'd gotten a two-year degree from a small junior college and then transferred. So I was 21. What did you think you were going to be? Man, I didn't think I'd be this.

No, see I did. Did you? I thought you would be exactly this. No, I thought I would, I knew I was gonna be a comedian when I was like eight years old. Well, I knew I loved being on stage and I knew I loved performing and singing, but I think I just, I knew that I had to do college too. That was really ingrained in me. Yeah, me too. So I wasn't, you know, at 21- But what was your backup plan?

My backup plan would have been...

You know, after I left college, I was playing in bars in different colleges all through the Southeast. And, man, it was fun as shit. It is fun, yeah. We'd load up on the weekends, and we'd go build one market. We'd go try to do Valdosta, Georgia, and then Statesboro, and then kind of my hometown. And then we'd try to start doing Athens, and we'd play all these shows in Athens, Georgia. And if you could get in the damn Athens music scene,

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The Athens music scene, when we sold out the Georgia Theater for the first time. Athens, maybe I'm wrong, but I think of Athens as alternative. I mean, Athens is REM. No doubt. No doubt. And B-52s. Yeah. But listen, I mean. I think of Athens as sort of the alternative to Nashville's more mainstream. It totally is. And there's such amazing music coming out of Athens.

Coming out of Athens, but Bill, you got- Macon, Georgia. How about Macon? Macon, shit. Well, that's more my era. They turned out a lot of, what came out of Macon? Allman Brothers. Allman Brothers. Geez, Phil Warren. What about Leonard Skinner? Where's that from? Leonard Skinner was, they're from Jacksonville. Oh, yeah, that's right. Same thing. So, man, Macon, you got James Brown.

Oh, right. You got... Stax Records? Is that from... Capricorn Records. A guy named Phil Warren. Okay, where was Stax? Maybe... Stax was Memphis. Memphis. Memphis, yeah. So... But yeah. Shit, Bill. And then Elvis. Sun Records. That's, you know... That's Memphis, too. That's Memphis. Well, you know, and... God, there's so many complexities in all that Southern music, but you know...

When I started headlining the Georgia Theater in Athens, in such a, what you said, Athens was a real diverse town. Yeah. Certainly, and for me to go in there and have- And probably way more politically liberal than your standard Southern university or was leading that way at the time. For example, I bet in the last election,

Nashville voted, you know, it's a city, it's blue, so it's not going to be like, but I bet you, considering how well Trump did in places he hadn't done that well in the first time around, I bet you Nashville was maybe 50-50 Trump for her, whereas Athens, I bet you, was 70% for Kamala Harris.

Just politically, I think that's where they are. Right now, I think Athens may have tilted back a little a few years ago, but I couldn't argue with you on that. I don't know. I mean, the South is diverse. I mean, I played Huntsville, Alabama.

You know, which is where NASA is. Right. Yeah. I mean, that crowd was almost too liberal for me. Yeah. And Huntsville's one of the fastest growing. Yeah. They're probably the number one fastest growing city in America.

North America or even suddenly in the South, but Huntsville's on fire. Huntsville is on fire? Well, on fire. Yeah, I know. We're not that sensitive about it. Lord, Bill. No, we are not on fire today. But Huntsville's a great town, Nashville's. Why? Because they're pouring a lot of money into NASA? Maybe the space program. I think the space program...

But it's just a lot of smart tech people there. Because the space program pulled a melting pot of smart people from all walks of life. I mean, I guess 30, 40 years ago when the space program maybe was really rocking in Huntsville, that pulled all the smartest people from India, Africa.

Right. I mean, it pulled everybody to Huntsville. Well, they're getting pulled there for their brains and all that, but then 40 years later, those...

Those ethnic, you know, different cultures. I think that mixture is great. Me too. It's amazing. I mean, eggheads, they should be in fucking Alabama. You know, just because the people are generally nicer. I mean, look, if we get onto political issues, are we going to have arguments about some things? Yeah, we are. But, you know, I keep preaching, you can't hate people who disagree with you, except about the most absolute thing.

outrageous things, but you can't hate them if they like Trump. You can hate Trump. I get that. I'm not a big fan, but you can't hate them for who they like.

So, like, I think it's very good when those type of people who normally would be at Stanford or some other stifling place with a equally obnoxious sort of wokeness that's uber, uber, uber on the left get down to a real place and talk to real people and you'll see that they're not monsters. And actually, in a lot of ways, they're just more fun to hang out with. They're looser.

They're not uptight. You can make jokes. They're not looking around the room to see who's the bigger name. You know, there's a lot to recommend it. Sounds amazing. Yeah, I wouldn't live there. No, I'm not kidding. But I really do like it. And I could. There are places I could live, but I, you know, look, with all the, even with the fire, I've been here 42 years, bro. I'm dug in. Yeah, and you know, I came from Georgia, and then...

Georgia brought me, obviously, out here with American Idol. Yeah. It's not horrible out here, is it? Man, it's amazing. I mean, it really is. Is it really that horrible to go to the Tower Bar for dinner? No. It's not bad at all. I go back home to Georgia and even friends in Tennessee, and they're like, man, how crazy is it out there in L.A.? And I'm like,

Man, it's not that crazy. There's just good restaurants. Yeah. I mean, a lot of the people are crazy. But they're show people. And show people, they're just not. You know, what I can't handle, man, is just I just hate seeing homeless people struggling, man. When I didn't grow up seeing homeless people, and because it was like in the South,

Churches would help. Churches would come together and help. Sure. If somebody's struggling. That's the kind of thing churches do. I never denied it. I mean, I'm an atheist, but I don't deny it. Well, but churches would keep people going. And then as a Southern boy, you come out to L.A., and I'm like, how can we fix this? It is my dream that every homeless person in L.A. has their own holler. No. But I think we could— Man, you're—

You could fill a holler up with homeless people out here, and I hate that because— Is that like there's no homeless in Nashville? Yeah, there are. There are, and it's a problem. And what is Nashville's solution? Man, I think they're trying to figure it out. So that's what we're— They're trying to figure it out. And, man, every—

Every crosswalk, I mean, every red light and stuff, there's a homeless person sitting there. How many acres do you have on your farm? 150. And you can't fit any homeless there? Bill. No, I'm fucking with you. That was amazing. That was amazing. And so wrong to do that to me. Hey, I've got a lot of land here, too. This fucker's got five acres up here. No, I don't have five acres up here. But I got a nice little holler and...

And you know what? I'd love to invite all the homeless, but I'm not going to do it either. And neither would anybody. I understand. No one is. Don't ever shame me for not being as good a person as you. And don't pretend that you wouldn't be inviting a potential nightmare in your life that also probably wouldn't even benefit them. That's not the answer that.

But we have the homeless into our private residences. The answer is that government, as you said, should figure this out. And the fact that they can't is ridiculous. I know why we can't here, because everything is a bureaucratic nightmare with too much red tape and regulations. If I was king, I would just make a giant...

or many, if I guess you need that many, you know, shelters, barracks. I'm sorry if you have to live in barracks, but it's better than living on the street. And they do that, and they say, they don't want to live there. There's no security. Get some. How much did it cost to put a fucking guard on every aisle of the barracks and make sure nobody is robbing each other? Have doctors? Compared to, like, putting them up in hotel rooms? That's what they do. Have mental health people come through there? Yes.

I mean, they do it on an ad hoc basis. They usually do this in third world countries because America is now often a third world country in some ways. They have these big events for like three days where they'll put up a big tent in some place where there's extreme poverty. And you can do this in Ethiopia, but I've also seen it done in Appalachia. And they have a big tent and people from the area know who cannot get

Their teeth looked at her. Eyeglasses. They come in, and it's like a renaissance fair, except you're getting your fucking tooth pulled that is killing you. I don't know why there can't be a semi-permanent version of that. I agree with you. Not that you're the one who should have to answer that. Well, no, man, I agree with you. Like, just get them somewhere where they're not, you know, out there hurting in the street.

I mean, that's got to be just, like, of all the answers that we could come up with for this, I feel like bottom of the barrel is stay on the street, which seems to be, you know, like that's the ultra-woke position is, like, don't disturb them. It's like messing with an endangered species that's in its natural habitat, and we can't do it.

So don't, that's, the mental approach to it seems to be wrong. And by the way, it wasn't what liberals believed 20 years ago. I used to do that show called Comic Relief. Do you remember that on HBO? Certainly. That Whoopi Goldberg and Billy Carsten and Robert Williams. And we are, the whole point of it was, let's get these people. Y'all were my damn base. I mean, y'all were weaved into what I learned comedy as a kid. Really? Hell yeah. Yeah.

What did you watch as a kid? What was on? Like you were a kid in the 90s? Shit, man. I was a kid when Thriller came out. 80s. Yeah, when Thriller came out. Okay. Yeah, that was early 80s. Yeah. I mean, I was born in 76. Thriller? Thriller? Oh, my God. What a moment. Yeah. Thriller was. Bill, we would...

Thriller came out and we would rush home from school and we knew at certain increments MTV was gonna play the Thriller video. Is that right? And we watched it every time. And then we watched Footloose. So Michael Jackson was... Oh my God. When my family members would have a bunch of people come in the house, my dad and my mother and my brother and my sister,

They would make me dance like Michael Jackson in front of strangers. Yeah.

See, I'm always trying to prosecute this argument that America is just much more complicated than the two sides who are always screaming at each other would allow. It's just like these things that you might not suspect. I had this special that's running now, and then I talk about J.D. Vance's grandmother who told him when he was eight years old and thought he might be gay because he only had boyfriends, and she says to him, you know, do you like to suck dicks?

Do you want to suck dicks? And he said- J.D. Vance's- Grandmother said that. Said that to him? Yeah, because he was saying, am I gay, Grandma? And she said, do you want to suck dicks? And he said, no. And she said, then you're not gay. But even if you did, God would still love you. J.D. Vance told you that? No, no, it's in his book. Wow. Hillbilly Elegy. Right. Well, I've heard the- And the point is like- I've heard the movie getting around that he wrote it, but I hadn't had a chance to sit down and watch it and-

Oh, yeah, Ron Howard made it into a movie. Was Amy Adams? I haven't seen either. I just read the part about the dicks. Well, I got you. But I just think, you know, coming from his grandmother who was born in Kentucky in 1933, America is just not as easily pigeonholed as they would want to make it. And, see, I know this because I've traveled this country.

Man, me too. On the road for over 40 years. Right. Everybody's got their differences. But they're basically the same. You're damn right they are. You know what they don't want to do? I mean, they want to come to great music. They want to see all kinds of great music from rap to country to damn. They just want to come out and spend their hard-earned money, and they want their tax dollars back.

to look like it's helping the country. And also, I got to say- Don't you agree? I totally agree. I mean, man, I've looked at the, from when I moved to Nashville and made zero to what I make now, and I paid a ton of taxes. And man, I just want to see it. I just want to be able to go, that's my damn tax dollars working right there. That's helping people and making the

making the country a better place. But I've never, I've yet to see. Buddy, I live in a state with 13% tax on every year. And I just had to endure a fire that would have happened anyway, but could have been handled a lot better. But my 13% was not used wisely. I know. Don't you want to see it do well? Yes, I do. Gosh. That's what I'm saying. I do. But, you know,

We just are in this place where people are locked into these, they're brainwashed on both sides, like a certain percentage of them. I can't get through to them. I can't get through to the ones who are supposedly on my team. I mean, I've said to people right in that chair, you know, like, we voted for the same person. It's just that you are why she lost. Because... Well, and... You know...

Shoot, I don't know. It's been a crazy, you know, you look from the, it's just been a crazy political time in my life. It's only getting crazier. And yet, you know, I just will not sit there and stand for America sucks. Me either. A lot of what you see is,

And it just comes from rank ignorance. I mean, they're just so ignorant. They have no idea what anywhere else in the world is actually like. They just know this is the worst place and that we're irredeemable and racist from the beginning and that will never change, even though it's changed immeasurably. All that kind of stuff, that's what they know. But, you know...

I'm just always amazed at with what all we're dragging behind us, not just the over-bureaucracy and the taxes that don't go to the right things, but, you know, like really kind of losing democracy now and how somehow the economy is all based on two things, cryptocurrency and rich men paying women on the Internet to do something while they masturbate. That's the entire—and yet we keep going America?

It's like my dog Chico. He should be 17. He should be dead. He's out there barking at nothing right now. He just, we just, I do. I love America. We just keep going, you know? It's hard to make a place like this go though. We're irrepressible though. Like we can't. Man, I was thinking about that a couple of days ago and you're like, man, it's hard to keep

The different people in this country, it's hard to keep them in check with all their little spots from the South and the Northeast and in the Midwest and what the Midwest claims they're great at, like basketball or something. And then you get the South. I mean, just from sports and culture and all that. And music. And music. Look at all the crossover between...

Rap, R&B now with music. I mean, Beyonce having the big country album. Right, right. I mean, who's the, Shaboosie? Hell yeah. But that comes from you liking Michael Jackson when you were six. Exactly. Yeah. And that's what this country made that. Hey. Where's my butler? No, this country made.

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And here we are. And there really are people who just want to gin up the bad side. And look, I've been a living making fun of this country for 31 years on television. I get it. And I haven't stopped doing it. But I like to keep it in perspective. So, you know, when I hear about what a racist, misogynist patriarchy we live in, how do you even leave the house? You know, I'm like, I'm

traveling all over the country have, I'm just waiting for one dirty look from one black person. Just a dirty look. It ain't gonna happen. Well, it might happen. But like, I just never see, like in real life, I don't see like some, maybe they're the greatest actors in the world. I don't think that's what it is. I think just like we're people, I'm here doing a job, you're doing your job. We're respecting each other. We're, hey bro, how you doing? I just don't see this

This hatred that they want. Some people just seem to want to always be stoking it. I hate that. I do too. And it happens on both sides. I wish you wouldn't. Well, that's because, you know, everyone's on social media and you know what algorithms thrive on? Hatred, controversy. That's what gets more people clicking. Love does not get you clicking. You bring up, you know, when you think about, I mean, Shabuzy and then you think about

I mean, hell, Beyonce's, she's probably the greatest singer in her lifetime, actress. I mean, she's one of the best singer and performer of all time, in my opinion. She's certainly the most successful. Gosh, she's so successful. And then you look at, I mean, gosh, I mean, I remember...

seeing Destiny's Child and just wondering and seeing Beyonce. And I was like, that's one of the most beautiful human beings I've ever seen in my life. Yeah, she's a cute girl. And then she sings like that and goes on to have this career. And then it's just, that's me. But so, I mean, Taylor Swift. Oh, I was about to say that. Taylor Swift's year, no. She, what she did.

It's incredible, Bill. Yeah. I don't really get either one of their musics, but that's me. You know, I'm 69 years old. I don't have to. It ain't for you. Well, some stuff that's younger is definitely for me. Right. Because it sounds to me more like the kind of stuff, you know, The Weeknd is for me, his hits anyway. Right. Like it sounds like something that could have been a hit.

in the 70s or even the late 60s when I first started to listen to music. You know, it's just got that feel. And then, like, you know, Nikki Glaser was here. She's like, you know, she's the biggest Jell-O Swift fan. She went to the show 18 times. Unbelievable. But her personality, you would think...

Because she's such a great dominating female personality. Her personality, you would think she would not like Taylor Swift. And then you find out she's like,

gone to her show 18 times, right? Did you have Nikki Pegg to be like a Taylor Swift groupie? Yeah, because I know Nikki for a long time. I did. Oh, yeah. And, well, Taylor Swift must be doing some Vulcan mind meld to the whim. There must be some estrogen-laden sort of vibe that's some...

Evil Ray, not evil. It's not evil. It's not evil, but it is a ray. Okay. It is a ray that's going out to all women. And, and they, so it makes them think that this music is, it's not terrible music. I just don't get it that it's like, why, why has it been elevated to this level when it seems to me fairly, um,

run of the mill i mean it not again not bad uh listen but i watched nikki said you got to watch you'll catch up on her whole oeuvre watch the concert film and i did um all 19 hours of it and uh and uh you know i was really struggling because i always want to like everything like i'm just a customer i have no musical ability i'm just the young man in the 22nd all right listen

Do you know why Taylor Swift is that big? Tell me. Man, when she first started, it was right when social media, where you could talk to your fans. Well, 2009 was the smartphone, and that was her first year maybe. Well, Taylor Swift, so I was going on a radio tour for my first single. Heartbreak Hotel? Shit.

No. Oh, that's Elvis. You remind me. Hey, I will. You remind me. I'll take the compliment. It is a compliment. So I got, I get to, I had to fly out and meet a radio station up in the north, up in the northwest. And first time I'd ever been to the northwest. And it was just beautiful. Just gorgeous. The two, you know, the two volcanic mountains in the background. My ass was fired up to be up there in the northwest. Yeah.

Well, I go to this little nightclub. It's Halloween night. Oh, wow. And my song, my first single, All My Friends Say, had not come out on the radio. But I just went to go see a concert, and Taylor Swift was on this Halloween night. She was on this radio show. And I had just heard the song Tim McGraw.

for the first time. And it was interesting to me when I heard that song. And I remember thinking- The song called Tim McGraw? She wrote a song called Tim McGraw. How confusing. To someone like me, who's just learning about country music, there's a song by a country star called another country star. But go ahead. Okay. Tim McGraw. So she- Like moves like Jagger. Totally. It was a word to Tim. And man, she crushed it with that song. Right. And so I'm standing there at that bar.

And the radio station brings her out, and I see her play for the first time. And she's got an angel costume on with little butterfly wings and a little sparkly guitar and like a little halo. And I'm sitting there watching this girl sing. And, man, I was like, that –

That may be the biggest star I've ever seen. You knew right then? Right then. Because? Because she just had it. Right. I mean, she had the outfit. Oh, she does put on a great show. She had it. You know, I feel bad every time Taylor Swift comes up. I have to, like, be honest about it. I don't quite get the music, although I like Sparks Fly. Yeah.

Hell yeah, you do. That one I do. Well, she got you on that one. Yes, she did. So that's all it takes. Well, it's not all it takes because obviously I've heard the other ones and didn't get them. Oh, God. Well, listen. There was one I liked in the concert. What? Other than Sparks Fly because you already liked that one. Something All. All Those Years Ago or All, I don't know. I forget. It was pretty good.

But really, I mean, there's a lot of singing on a roof with Moss that I- Listen, so she, when she, right after I saw her in that Halloween show-

The world on the street was she was out there talking to all her fans on socials. Nobody ever did it more than her. She earned every... She worked her butt off and earned those fans. Right. Well, and here's to her butt. But I just want to say, and this is a backhanded... Am I rambling? No, you are not. Well, first of all, this show is about rambling, so it couldn't be bad. But like...

This sounds like a backhanded compliment, but I admire her. Yeah, the music either works or it doesn't. But as a human, I have great admiration because to be that far up in the stratosphere and not...

be doing anything stupid, being still a good role model, basically, you know. She's had a bunch of boyfriends. Boyfriends. Who hasn't? Yeah, when you're, what is she, 30? And people are like, boyfriends are the worst you can say? Excuse me, girlfriend, she's 35. Yeah.

Yeah, but the only thing people can say about her, she's had boyfriends. No, exactly. And then she goes and lands Travis Kelsey. Well, first of all. And then it's like, oh, my God, she's crushing it. I don't want to go back to this, but I did this once, I think, on my show. What? And it's pretty funny. I'm only being facetious, but like all these boyfriends and like to be that famous where we actually could name. I could name.

I don't even, I'm not even a fan. And I can name all her boyfriends. Okay, there was John Mayer and the English actor and the other English actor. And then there was, you know, I could go down the list. How do you know that? Because she's that ubiquitous. You just named it. You just named, you couldn't name two of her songs, but you know all the universe. Exactly. That says a lot.

You know, you just thought I don't know all the boyfriends. You just rambled off. None of them are black Couldn't we shouldn't we really in this day and age have one in there I mean and then she goes to the NFL which is 80% black and finds a white guy I mean you don't even know look that hard. I mean for God's sakes especially on defense

All right. That's, again, facetious. But no. I mean, I am a big fan. But think about it. Then she's with Travis Kelsey. So what? Which is crazy. First of all, that's going to end. But then their tabloid's like... That's going to end. Oh, I don't know. You want to make a bet? I don't want to make a bet. But what's funny is then there's tabloids like Taylor...

And Travis Kelsey's mom might agree. And I'm like, what are we doing? I want to go on record as saying, and this is a knock on either one of them. I think they're both fine people. But that relationship is going to end like Rihanna's husband, ASAP and Rocky. No, but.

Look, Travis is not the keeper. He's just not. I mean, he's not yet ready to be house trained. He's not. And he's going to be coming off another Super Bowl. I'm not getting into any of that. Of course you shouldn't. But I'm just telling you, he's you 20 years ago with more liquor in him. I mean, it's just, you know, think about what you were 20 years ago.

Right. Well... Are you married? Yes, I am. How long? 18 years. Wow! Yeah, 18 years of marriage. That's... It's amazing. We celebrated... Well, hell, we just celebrated it in December. So how did you know she was the one? Man, I just walked into... You know, she walked into a bar and there she was. And it was just like...

That one right there. That's so interesting. And then it was a college bar, a college bar that, you know, that if my brother doesn't pass away, I never go to that college. And then if... You lost your brother. Right, I lost my brother. And then that sent me down this path. And then I meet Caroline and we kind of date on and off through college, but it wasn't time. And we kind of broke up at the end of college. And then...

It was five and a half years till we got back together. And, man, that five and a half years, I went to Nashville and got my career going. I did all kind of crazy shit, you know, drinking. Like I said, I told you I started college drinking Crown and Water. Who the hell is 21 and just, well, that's all they drink? Crown and Water? Are you kidding me? I had Daryl Hall of Hall & Oates here. What the hell did they drink?

Well, they don't drink anything together because they're suing each other. Oh, God. They need to get over that shit, too. Yeah, they put out some great records. Dude, every time I party, I listen to You Make My Dreams Come True. Wow. It's the greatest. No, they were awesome. We ought to rock. We ought to play that damn song at the end. Our careers, which is shortly after.

Which is about 930. No, we're fine. But you make my. Oh, but I said to him, like, how did it because like back in the day, I mean, he was a real matinee idol looking guy. And, you know, plus that falsetto and the voice. And I said, how does a rock star, you know, with all the women throwing themselves at you? I mean, how do you resist? And he said, it's impossible.

Poor guy. Yeah, poor guy, right. Well, man, you know, hauling oats and heck. So anyway, just me and my wife, we got three kids at home with us. And so circling back to that, it's –

It's just been an amazing ride with my family and my life, my dad, boys. My nephew came to live with us when he was 13, and he's now 23. Nephew. Nephew, Till. He was my sister's son. Oh, that's beautiful. Beautiful. And then we got our 16-year-old, Bo.

and got a 14-year-old named Tate. So three boys, and then... Those are rough ages, 16 and 14. I'm guessing. I don't have kids. It's pretty amazing, though. You know, they're... But aren't they too into the viral, I mean, the virtual world? Man, they are. You know what's crazy? Fortnite, man. Fortnite. Yeah. Jesus. I wouldn't know it if I tripped over it, but I certainly have heard a lot about it, and I vaguely know...

I certainly know it's not real. It's something they're playing. Man, dude, these kids love it. I know. My son, for Christmas, gets the whole new processor to process the speed of this damn thing for Christmas. It's got all these light-up fans on the back, and he gets a set of headphones, a new keyboard, and a mouse.

And he looks like he's on a turntable. And they're talking to their friends on headsets.

and talking shit and cussing. And then I have to go in there and, I mean, they're into that Fortnite. Getting them out of their virtual world is becoming more and more of an impossible task. I mean, this is the same thing that's going on in their sex lives because look at the success of OnlyFans. I mean, OnlyFans is a bunch of guys who must know

in some part of their brain that this girl that they're paying is not really their girlfriend, not even the person who's actually texting back to them. That's some fat guy in the Philippines. And they don't seem to care. They would rather do that than have a real girlfriend or do whatever it takes to get a real girlfriend. I feel this is not going to come out well. Well...

You know, we just, I don't know what those guys are up to, but, you know, you just got to teach your dang kids to go wild.

Try to be funny in class and work hard and study and keep your... I don't know, man. But do you do things with them in the outdoors? I mean, things that... Do I? Yeah. That's all we do. Oh. What about the fortnight? Well, that's how I get them away from that. Oh, I see. I mean, man, I've taken my kids on... We go on every hunting and fishing trip together and... So that's good. You still murder innocent creatures with family members. Thank God that tradition...

It lives with our family, and, man, we have a lot. So what do you hunt? Man, we hunt. Do you eat what you hunt? Yeah, you know, we certainly do. Okay. And like I said, some stuff. Then I approve. Oh, man, but it's not like, well, what's, you know, Bill, we go on an annual elk hunt with me and my three boys, and we kill a couple elk a year.

And we get it processed at some elk dude out in— You got an elk man. You got an elk processor. Yeah, I got an elk man. Well, listen— Processes my elk. So listen, then I'm at my farm one day, and I see this huge refrigerator truck pull up to my farm. And I'm like, what in the hell is this? It's a giant truck.

And I run up there to the side of it, and I said, man, why are you here? He goes, you Mr. Brian? And I said, yeah. He goes, I'm delivering your elk meat. And I'm like, shit, I never knew that's how it got to my farm. It just always showed up in our refrigerator in the garage. But I met the guy that delivers it. Well, it turns out this dude has a business where he picks up everybody's wild game.

that they go do in a, oh, totally. So am I blowing your mind with this? I'm listening. He picks up his, it blew my mind. This guy's job is to take his refrigerator truck, pick everybody's game up, and deliver it to their house. And man, we eat all of our elk every year. I had a girlfriend in the late 80s, early 90s, and her father was military.

You know, he was a hunter, and I remember spending time there and eating a lot of elk. What did you think about it? I thought, you know, if you're going to the fucking supermarket and buying a package of meat, you're no... You know, let's not kid each other. Either you're eating meat or you're not. And, yeah, if...

If you're going to eat it, it's probably even better if you kill it yourself. They don't process it. You know, it's not like animals don't kill each other. That's always been my moral justification. I just don't believe in torturing animals until we kill them. Man, I don't think you need to torture them. But they do. That's what factory farming is. Torturing pigs and chickens and cows until... It's just like...

Well, you know, there's a lot of gray area and all that. I mean, I would imagine. Agriculture in America is disgusting. Well, they got to work on it. I think so. They got to work harder. Well, they do. They don't. They don't care. It's profit.

Why? You have friends in the pig industry? Man, I got friends everywhere. Okay. Well, you should tell them. I got friends in the pig industry. Well, tell them to put a crowbar in their wallet and pry out $10 million, and they won't live any worse if they don't fucking torture the pigs before. Because pigs are very smart. They know what's happening. Well.

I do know, I know people in the pig industry and I'll take that info in. Listen. He didn't think you were going to confront it on that, on this episode of 60 Minutes, did you? No, man, I think that's what it's all about. Here, here on your side, my thoughts on, like I said, with elk stuff, I,

It just... Elk is lean, right? Very lean. And all of the stuff of wild game. Right. And, you know, cattle and all that. And like I said, I'm not even this guy that... How do you eat your elk? Do you... Man, we get most of it in hamburger. So you make like a burger out of it? We'll do burgers and then taco night and spaghetti night or bolognese night. Oh. Man, we don't ever buy ground beef anymore. Right. And it's pretty...

But like I said, I mean- So when you go out there to murder the elk- Murder. I love it. I love it. So you're there with your boys. Man, let me tell you- Where you all got a gun. We got a bow. You see- We're bow hunting. Oh, really? Is that true? 100%. Why? Because it makes it more of a sport? Because the animal is like, I respect you. Yeah.

Before he goes? Here's the deal, man. When you have these elk or a herd animal, well, if you go up to an elk herd and you have a gun, it's not hard at all to shoot an elk. It's unfair. I wouldn't say it's unfair. Oh, please. Well, listen, I mean, we as humans, we have the knowledge to make hunting unfair, right?

Well, it's unfair to begin with. First of all, to call it a sport, it's a sport if a sport was the case where one team didn't even know the game was going on and the other team had all the equipment. No, they do. The other team knows the game's going on. They don't know a guy's in there with a rifle.

But look, they see you and they run off and man, you're like. Yeah, that's true. Yeah, yeah, that's true. And the kids do that. The kids have failures in hunting. That's the big thing about hunting. I mean, they can figure out

They can figure out the codes. Hell, there's cheat codes, and they can go figure out... What if you just... If you shoot with your arrow, you shoot at the elk, but you just nick his ear like Trump at the assassination. Man, if you hit a... And so it's like... If you nick an elk in the ear, it don't even know... That might as well have been a mosquito bite to them. Yeah. Because...

I mean, they're a tough animal. But it's tough if you just wing it and it's got the arrow in it and it runs off because then it's got to live with the arrow. It gets home and the wife is like, what happened? Dude, you can hit an elk not properly and that elk's fine.

Yeah, look. No, they're so tough. I mean, and then the beauty of bow hunting and all that is when it comes together perfectly and the elk doesn't suffer. The elk runs 20 yards, and then at that point, you've got to pack the elk off the mountain. Okay. So, Bill, check this out. Okay. You go through all that. Well, then you have hiked eight miles a day for four days. You shoot an elk.

He dies right there, clean. You're like, perfect shot. Then you got to pack that damn thing five miles off the mountain.

What do you mean, pack it? You've got to quarter it up in the field. Quarter it up? Quarter it up. Cut it? Cut it up. Cut it into quarters? Cut it into quarters. What do you use for that? Knives and... Ben Salmon's bone saw? No, you know, you just get real sharp blades and you carve the animal up. Right through the ribs and every other... Man, you don't... You go along the ribs for the back strap. You quarter out. You do leave the ribs...

And the carcass, the neck, but your shoulders from here, your back straps, your tenderloins, and then all the— What do you do with the head? Whoever killed it totes the head out. That's the heaviest part. What do you put it in, like a hat box? No, you tote it on your shoulders. The head? The head. What do you mean tote it on your—what do you put it in? No, you—

You'd get blood all over you if you didn't. All over you. And you want that? That's just the way it is. Jesus, what a bunch of redneck.

And I mean that in a good way, but wow, really? You want the blood all over you? I wouldn't say you want it, but it just happens. I got an important hunting question. You see the elk, okay? You're there with your boys. Right. You all got your bows ready. Does one guy, do you decide one guy takes the shot, or do you all empty your clip like the L.A. Police Department?

No, really. Does one guy take the shot or do you all take the shot at the same time? Man. What? I'm asking. Well, with us, like I said, my nephew the first year, it was his turn and not everybody gets an elk every year. Oh, I see. It's his turn. What's that? It's his turn. You said it. You go by turns.

He said it was his turn to shoot the elk. My nephews, yes, sir. Yeah, yeah. So like now he got that one. Next year it's your turn or one of the other boys? Yes, sir. Well, again, I can't judge it because I eat meat. What? I'm telling you. I don't judge it. I only judge torturing animals, not killing them. They kill each other. To me, that's a moral position. I know my friends at PETA.

And I'm a board member. Yeah, great. Yeah. I know they don't agree. They're vegetarians. But look, the science, frankly, is just not out on that. There's no real evidence that we shouldn't be eating meat as human creatures. You know, our ancestors did it. Well, I mean, you know, I think...

There's so much stuff out there. I think people just do what they got to do to survive in their different environments. Yeah, it's also an economic issue. Poor people eat at McDonald's for a reason because it fills you up, it tastes great, kills you eventually, but people are thinking about the end of the month, not the end of their life. Right.

But no, I don't. Look, I always loved playing the red states because I would get a crowd that was hip, smart, but didn't have that fucking woke stick up their ass. And you felt that there? In some cities. It got better in recent years, even in like woke places like San Francisco, because the crowd understood that I was going to give them something

what we agree on, which is we're not conservatives, but we don't just pretend that woke nonsense isn't nonsense. And they want to hear that. I mean, Trump is changing America in the last two days, like overnight. And look, I don't agree with a lot of the stuff, but the leftists are

They invited this by overreaching on the other side. He's getting rid of all DEI. Well, they went too far the other way. They put DEI everywhere. They left the border open. Like you look at the chart for like this president, like Clinton and Obama and Bush, Trump, it changed very little. And then Biden.

Of course they're going to, like, overreact to that. You know, they invited it on themselves. So, yeah, I mean, in recent years it's been great because I get that crowd. But, yeah, there were times when I was in San Francisco. I hate to pick on them, but there are places that are very wokey thinking, God, I wish I was in Alabama.

Because that crowd laughs, but they don't have... They're not pretentious, you know? They're basically liberal, but they don't... They're not too politically correct. And comedy is not politically correct. Yeah, I mean... Or else it's not comedy. You know what I mean? My grandfather was a Southern Democrat. I mean, that was just what he was. All Democrats used to be... I mean, all Southerners used to be Democrats. Kennedy changed that. And, you know, I remember...

It was just, you know, that was a thing. And then growing up in a Republican household, I mean, it was, but man, you know, it just, I don't know, in the South, we just, I don't think we really care that much. I mean, we just want to damn wake up. Right. We just want to wake up. First of all, people have to understand, politics mostly comes out of like your personality and where you were born and raised. You know, it's just deeper than just

We're the good people and anyone who thinks differently isn't. It's just not that simple. It's just so annoying, that attitude. And I live amongst it because this is the epicenter of it, Hollywood, that terrible attitude. But yeah, most people just, first of all, they don't want to think about it at all. When Biden got elected, that was really his big pledge was, if you elect me, you don't have to start, you don't have to keep thinking about Donald Trump.

and all this stuff. Of course, that was a pipe dream because Trump never went away and then he won the election again. So we never stopped thinking about it. But most people, they would like to stop thinking about politics because it doesn't really, in their view, affect their lives. Government can help their lives. They usually don't recognize when it does. They very well note when it doesn't. But basically, would they even know who was president a lot of the times?

Many times, in many households, not. And they want to just get back to that, you know? And I can't blame them.

I can't blame them. It's too on people's minds. They put it in their social media. They put it in what they write on Facebook. And so we're always like cockfighting each other. Yeah. You know, like making, and we, you know, like we don't have to. We can just talk about murdering animals, which I'm not against if you eat them. Well, yeah.

And like I said about what we were saying, man, it's hard to get everybody together on the same stuff in this country. And it just takes time and it takes work. So what's it like playing in L.A.? Man, I love it. Where do you play here? Well, I've played Hollywood Bowl. Oh, that's a big arena. Several times. That's great. I played the Dodgers Stadium. Well, that's big. Which was...

Dodger Stadium, wow. Dodger Stadium. I mean, so that goes back to what I tell you with, you know, New Jersey. And, I mean, thinking New Jersey and then coming out here and playing in Dodger Stadium, I was like, it was just so trippy. I got into cycling, and I cycled up a big hill that morning and stood out over the stadium looking down and –

Shoot, I was like, damn, that's Dodger Stadium, and I'm playing it. Anytime you're playing a place whose last name is Stadium, you did well. Man, it's so amazing. It all came out in the wash for you. Gosh, great. Do you ever worry? Because I always feel like music is, you know, the muse is sitting on your shoulder, and sometimes he sits there for one hit,

You've heard that term, one hit, one hit. Yeah. And sometimes, like you, and not just you, but he's there for a while. But you just have to worry, like, is the next one going to come? Because it's not something you can control completely. No, I mean, you just do your best to try to write a great song. But you actually try. You don't wait for it to come. Well, I do that also. I take songs...

I love the songwriting community in Nashville and the fact that they can send songs to me. And so I love trying to record a little bit of Nashville's, what their songwriting community has. So yeah, you wake up every day trying to make great music. And sometimes you...

Just because it's a fickle industry. Well, it's tough. Right. And, you know, with kids on Idol, man, they're up there singing in front of us, and we try to get them to this level and that level. But, man, they got to go to work after that where it just doesn't work. Yeah. I mean, look at what you worked as a comedian, and then look at when you do one funny joke.

On TikTok, and then you're a funny comedian, but you did a million bad ones. I did. I had my version of playing those rock and roll bars that you played. Right. I played a million small clubs. I played bars, which is not even a place a comedian should be. I played with no stage, standing on a floor with sawdust on it, you know.

I mean, oh yeah. But you know, you had it, I had it. It's the best thing in the world that could happen. So good. And I had fun the whole way. I've never not had fun. I mean, I think it was more fun for you than me. It's less fun for a comedian in that stage. Really? Yeah.

I think music, even if you're in a little shitty place, first of all, girls still come for you. It's a comedian. You're just a loser. And very often they're, you know, they're just not listening or, you know. In that stage. Yes. You're just, it's a sacrificial lamb kind of a thing. God, you spent how many years having to. Not, I mean, not that many in that really. But you learn. It just. That's the only way you can learn. It just toughens you. It's the only way you can learn to. Yeah.

I mean, man, I had, I mean, you had bad shows. Oh, yeah. And no one was videoing them. Jesus, could you imagine if they'd have videoed them, those bad ones? Yeah, well, it's one reason I got off the road just now because—

I mean, among other reasons, like, I don't trust the crowd anymore. Everyone is just out there to get a scalp. You know, they tell them to turn the phones off. Now, you could collect the phones. Some people do that, but I really don't want to do that to the audience. Most of them, I feel like it would be an insult. I feel like my audience are my friends. They could be my friends. They think like me. It's just not something you would get from just a random sampling of the people out there.

So I don't want to insult them like that. But, you know, every once in a while, or somebody who's directly hostile to you can film your show, take things out of context, and also you're pushing boundaries. You know, he crossed the line. Yeah, that's my job, to cross the line. And how do I know where the line is sometimes until I cross it? You should thank me for crossing the line in every comedian who does it. Right. You have to cross the line. You do. Yeah.

Look at Johnny Cash. He was, that's what he had to do. I crossed, no, I walked the line. I walked the line, but man, God, you look remarkable. Have you ever seen Walk Hard? You know, I've never. It is the funniest. If you haven't seen it or saw it once, watch it. Was it John C. Reilly? Yes.

You know, that's probably his only movie I haven't watched from top to bottom yet. Oh, you have to. It's about your industry. It's about the music. It's hysterical. I've seen clips of it. It's Judd Apatow. It's fantastic. Oh, you've got to watch it. It's a scream.

You know, he's Johnny Cash at the beginning. Right. But then they take it into the 60s, so he meets the Beatles. He goes through his Dylan phase, his Bob Dylan phase, which is very apropos now with... Have you seen the Dylan movie? I hadn't seen it yet. I haven't either. I want to see it. Me too. I love the previews. It really looked good. It's out now, though, right? Yeah. Are you a Dylan fan? You know, in my household, we didn't...

I just heard Dylan kind of on the peripheral. I just never really got a chance to listen to him. And through the years, I wouldn't say that I was a big Dylan fan. But God, when you look at...

Like the band, didn't he write, take a load off, Annie? I think he wrote that. Well, that is a band song. That's called The Wait. The Wait, yeah. I mean, did Dylan write that? He wrote so many songs sometimes where you'd think, oh, wow, Dylan wrote that because it wasn't a hit for him. Right. I mean, sometimes he was well served, I think, by somebody else singing his song because he had a...

I don't, you know, they make fun of his singing voice. It was certainly unique. It's obviously like beyond charismatic because he's Bob Dylan. So if he didn't hit every note perfectly, but he's actually, you know, he does hit, it's not like he sings clams.

He sings in his own very distinctive way. Yeah, but I never, I liked his voice. Yeah. I thought being... It's certainly not Robert Goulet. Not everybody can be and not everybody can be. Not everybody should be. Well, when you look at, you know, Paul Simon through the years...

I mean. Love him. Gosh. Oh. So. So that's somebody who like. Well, I wouldn't say I'm a crazy Paul Simon fan, but. I am. I'm a crazy Paul Simon fan. But I know enough that, man, what a career he built. And both lyrically and music. Totally. Like very few people write lyrics, I think, that stand up as poetry without the music. He is one of them.

Totally. I mean, when you think about Paul Simon and, I mean... What? Well, I was going back to Dillon... You sound like LeBron James now. Well, I was going back to Dillon and Simon and then, you know, those guys that... And James Taylor, who... James Taylor, his... These guys are not like...

They're just not like a Robert Plant. They're not like a Robert Plant type singer. Robert Plant was, you know, no one. I mean, he was just the greatest. Well, then you look, you know, but Paul Simon and singers like that could make it. And then Robert Plant could do that. It's just funny how everybody can find their little niche as long as you've got something

That's your niche and you've set yourself. I mean, I've heard a lot of collabs. I've never heard like heavy metal and country. That seems one that's sort of elusive. Like I can't imagine like Robert Plant, you know, doing something with you. Well, he and Alison Krauss did some stuff together.

Well, that's jazz. She's jazzy. She's bluegrass. She is? In her core. Well, maybe, but Robert Plant in later years was less Led Zeppelin-y. Oh, no, no. When they were like, da-da-da-da-da-da, you know, they hit an E chord and the world was shaking. You know, I mean, Led Zeppelin, that's when I was in college, I mean...

You know, the country rap thing works. Hell yeah, it does. But I'm not sure about country heavy metal. It might. I'm trying to think. I mean, Jay-Z did rap with, like, he did 99 Problems with, I think, was it Rage Against the Machine? Somebody like that that was kind of heavy metal. But I could see why rap and heavy metal couldn't go together. Country, I don't know.

You know, I'm going to go through my mind, but I bet, gosh, there's been some CMT crossover stuff. It's so much more collabing than when I was a kid. When I was a kid, you know, Tommy James and the Shondells. They all tried to kill each other. What? Well, I mean, back in those days of music, man, those artists didn't like...

I mean, they were out hunting. I mean, they were out working to be better than the other. I mean, it was cutthroat. Yeah, yeah. I mean, it was, I don't know about cutthroat, but it was competitive. Very competitive. And there was no like, you know, hey, the fifth dimension, why don't you come on my record? Like, fuck off.

Fuck off. I'm doing my own record. We can get on your record. But now, like nobody puts out a record old. Man, there's a lot of them. Yeah. There's a lot of collabs out there, but people love it. People just love it. You do it. Yeah, I mean. What about Dolly Parton?

I hadn't done anything with Dolly. Why? It's an insult to you. Well, I wouldn't say that. Oh, I would. Why haven't you collided with Dolly Parton? It just hasn't happened. I mean, I've met, I've seen Dolly in concert, and man, she's...

You know, I just, it hadn't happened yet, but it might happen after the, after, you know, Bill, you're, you're so adamant about it. Absolutely, I'm adamant. I'm a one-issue candidate. Luke has to do a fucking collab with Donnie Park. Well, who is your favorite collab that you ever worked with when you did a collab? Gosh, I don't know. You know, early on, I did a,

collab with FGL, Florida Georgia Line, and it was a fun call. This is how we roll. It was really fun. I've got a... May I suggest a few people? What's that? May I suggest a few people? Who's that? Steely Dan. Whoa. Are you reeling in, she? Reeling in the years. Is it? Yeah, reeling in the years. So good. Great. Right.

Okay, well. The guitar solo in that? I mean, that was a two-man group. One of them's gone, so, you know. I don't think I can get in there with him. Steve Miller band, come on.

Classic. Oh, what's their song? The Joker. Yes. Come on. There's a little country in that song. I mean, totally. You really draw your inspiration from a really wide range. And yeah, never asked to. Didn't even mean to. It was just whatever my sisters and her friends and, man, whatever they listened to.

But, I mean, you seem to be the product of all that. The whole range of the American songbook. Hell, I remember, you know, Prince. Yeah. When Prince had that damn album where he had the jeans cut out of his

His ass cheeks. I was like, I don't remember that one. I think that was a picture. I don't remember it. Maybe you imagined that or somebody sent it to you. I referenced it right now, but I was like, is this crazy? I used to have a poster of him around. Prince was damn crazy.

Yes. What an animal. Prince, I mean, very few people have wettened pussies like Prince at 5'2", bitch. 5'2". Gangster. Very gangster. 5'2". Trust me, I knew women who knew him. I knew women who talked about him. And that 5'2".

For all the women who are on whatever the dating site is where they're like, well, Tinder, I wouldn't go out with a guy who wasn't six foot tall. Yeah, you would. I know one you would.

He was the pussy whisperer. He really was. And then he got into, you know, he was a big fan of my first show, Politically Incorrect, The Sign is Behind You. And he used to talk about it, like publicly. It was a show with four guests and he would, I was told he would, this is after he became a very serious Jehovah Witness, I think it was, but something, he was very, very religious.

And he would bring like four strippers back from the club and they thought there was going to be an orgy. And he'd just do an episode of Politically Incorrect with them and they'd talk about Jesus. Yeah, yeah, so...

Little tidbit for you. I don't know if that's true, but that's somebody who knew him told me. But I know he— Yeah, he became—well, he definitely became super religious. I didn't know that. Right. And the god was fentanyl, unfortunately. No, that's—no, too soon. No, he was very—you know, he became—you know, had some very interesting theories about history. Yeah, gone too soon.

Yeah, I mean, Whitney, geez. But so many. I mean, how many rock stars have fallen to drugs? And I always want to just get one of them to say, to ask, rock star, you're given so much just by being a rock star. You know this. You have so much. Why then need like this level of drugs that's going to kill you?

Man, I hate that. It's just, and it happens so many times. Like, I just want to say to them,

have to be doing that well to do the amount of drugs you're doing that's enough to kill you. Like you could probably do it on like maybe 400 grand a year. You could probably buy enough Coke and liquor and fentanyl or whatever with that salary to kill yourself. And you're making way more than that. And you're still, you know, I don't know what they're, what is this sorrow that they're dampening down? Sorrow.

And I'm sure there is. I mean, I don't doubt that people have their own pain, no matter how much it looks from the outside, like everything's great. But you just have to explain to me, okay, everything actually is great. Yeah. I mean, you have so much. What is the problem? Why are we doing the drugs? Why do we need to forget? Forget. I want to remember this life, and I even have had it. Man, I want to remember it.

Yeah. I mean... Well, you seem like you have your head on very straight. I hope so. You know. Yeah. It's a...

Who's your, like, kitchen cabinet friends who you could just, like, lay it all out with? Oh, man. I've got a great friend group. I've got— You must have—some of them must be your peers because, like, the only people who really understand you on a certain level are not your high school friends. Yeah. They're the people who also play stadiums. Yeah. Well, my thing, my high school—I got some high school friends that are, like,

they're just so tight. And one of them, he and I are in some businesses together that we're doing really well and just so thankful of that. And then I've got, man, I got high school friends and a little group of college friends that, you know, we try to get together. Who are your peers? My peers, man. That you, you know, can like. I would say my peers in country are probably very early on. Dierks Bentley was a

Very dear, you know a peer of mine, but he's not as big as you well So you have to like have people who understand what your life is. Um Nobody like that. Well, yeah. Yeah, I've got Shelton or somebody like that Somebody understands what your life. Oh man me and Blake. We have a good time. Yes. I told you I know it you would play I

We have a good time together. What do you do? Look me in Dirk's. Beer and murder animals? Let me guess. I'm not a guinea pig. I feel like I've walked into the Bill Maher trap of doom. I love it. I love that we're different. Me too. You know, I mean, and fuck it, we're not even that different. Man, I tell you. We're not that different. We do...

slightly different versions of the same. Well, we're, you know, man, I think we're all Americans and we're all. Well, the main difference is more generational. We're living still in the real world. We're all. Younger generation is living in the virtual world. That's going to be the main difference. Yeah. Whether your girlfriend is an AI fucking app on your phone or whether you're actually, you know, the other way.

The old, let's call it women classic. Well, anyway. God, you know, but it's a lot to handle and control. And the beauty of it is you get to fight your fight and not your fight. You get to tell you through comedy and you get to tell yourself through satirical comedy.

I mean, you go after it and you take your loss. We're both so lucky, right? Hell yeah, we are. I mean, we could have been, you know, not that other jobs are bad or horrible or boring, but a lot of jobs are bad, horrible, and boring. And we don't even have jobs. We have careers.

Some people have careers and some people have jobs. I've had plenty of jobs when I was young and I didn't like them because they were fucking jobs. If you have a career as opposed to a job, you are lucky. Very. And that's what we got. Well, there's a lot of hardworking people out there. Yeah. And we worked hard too. Don't take that away from me.

Just because I enjoy it, and I still work hard at it, and I bet you do too. How often are you in the studio? You know... I bet a lot. We're in the studio quite a bit. We ride a lot. We have... You have a thing at your house? Thing at the house. Guys drive out.

piano, guitar, amps. And, man, we ride out there, and it's fun. So you have an in-home studio. I've got a room in my house that I've got my pianos and stuff like that. Are they sitting on actual bales of hay? You know, the donkeys come up. You have furniture. The donkeys come up, you know, the damn, you know, we serve our freshly slaughtered eggs and chicken.

And I understand the Uber driver is a tractor. All right, I'm going to release you back into the wild to murder more animals. Oh, listen. I'm going to go back to work on my show. Thank you. Such a pleasure. I hope it's not the last time. I'm a pat-wreck, you know. Oh, listen, it's time for...