Reggie Watts, Vic Michaelis, Dave Theune
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I'm a garbage man. You're a garbage lady. Let's smash our trash and make a dumpster baby. Welcome to Comedy Bang Bang. Thank you to Meerkat218. And thank you, Reggie Watts, for the wonderful singing the song. And we'll see you next week. Actually, do you want to stick around today and talk on mic? I was starting to unplug my stuff, but do you want me to stay? Yeah, do you mind? I mean, our main guest...

Oh, shit. Yeah. Do you want to stick around today? Yeah. I love, I love hanging around. Yeah. Yeah. It'd be great to have you. Yeah. I always try to get out of the way like quickly. Cause like you got so much shit in here. We've done almost 800 episodes at this point and you've done the theme song to most of them and you always leave. Yeah.

right after you're done. Yes, because I have to because there's too much stuff in here. Yeah, I'm so sorry. So I have to trade out. I'm a hoarder. Yeah. Anybody surprised? I mean, I describe myself as that. You don't have to. But yeah, it would be great to see. Yeah, stick around.

Okay, great to have you. Yeah, I'll stick around. Yeah, I mean, I know we talk every, you come early usually every week for about a half hour and we catch up. We do catch up. Do you want to do it on mic today? Yeah, we can do it on mic. Yeah, I mean, yeah, screw it. Because I was late today because of an injury. Oh, okay. What did you injure or whom did you injure? I'm sorry. Were you injuring someone else? No, it was like there was a crow.

Sorry, not a crow, a raven. Oh, nevermore, et cetera. Yeah, it was just like constantly pecking at my back. Like I was having lunch with a friend. And so I was in a chair and there was a branch behind me. But it was like a super important meeting. They couldn't see the crow because I was perfectly blocking it. Oh, okay. But it kept pecking, you know, at my shoulder. And so I had to just endure the pain because like it was a really big lucrative, potentially lucrative job.

deal. Yeah. Yeah. I didn't want to disturb it. Well, you're great in meetings like that because you close in the room usually. And so it's. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And that's how committed I am. Yeah. So. So wow. So a crow the entire time they couldn't see it because it was it shaped exactly like your head? No. I mean, it's just like the angle because of the shadows and stuff like that. And he was sitting like slightly off axis to me. So he was like slightly to my, you know, me facing him. Like if you were facing me.

I think I sense the geography right now. But do you mind drawing a picture of it for me? Yeah, sure. Really briefly? Yeah. Oh, that's the little beak. Oh, okay. No. Okay. I see. Yeah, I was thinking it was the opposite. Yeah, it's a top-down view. Oh, yes. Thank you. I appreciate that. No worries. Well, I'm glad that you made it. Yeah, we didn't get a chance to catch up because of the crow today. So let's just catch up about what's going on. What have you been up to, buddy?

Well, I mean, obviously, every week we talk about how things are going on, you know, your other job, the job, the the latest of shows, the latest of shows, the latest show on television, the latest show. There's no show later. No, except for Night Gallery.

But at the end of your... I've never seen it, but isn't it true? At the end of your show, James Corden flips off the lights and says, okay, everyone, go to bed. And then every network just shuts down. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's really beautiful. We used to do the sequence where you...

each, like it was a camera feed for each studio. And I was just like, you know, good night, good night, good night, good night, good night. Exactly. Yeah. It's like, good night, John boy, you know, or that kind of, yeah. Good night. Price is right. Good night. Price is right. Good night. News. Good night. Bold and beautiful. And, uh,

And they really went goodnight because they're just, they're not there anymore. They're gone. They're just gone. Not so bold or beautiful anymore. No, neither of the bees are there. Yeah. But, you know, but they obviously like they'd start doing that and then like commercials, they start getting more higher commercial densities. So they had to push that out.

Right. Well, also, there's so many television shows. We're at peak TV. I don't know if you've heard about this. Never heard of it. So many television shows. It took so long to say goodnight to them. By the time it was done, it would be like, okay, good morning. And then he would have to say good morning to all the shows. Oh, my God. Yeah.

It was like a second or third job for him. I guess first job is the show. Second job is movies like Cinderella. Yes. And then third job is saying goodnight and good morning to everyone. Yes, that's correct. And come on, we can only have two jobs at a time. Well, the other thing is, too, he had a third kid.

Oh, that's what happened? Yeah. He was like, I can't do all of this anymore and I have to actually spend some time with my family. Right. Okay. That's good to know. Yeah. Still not that much time with his family though. Okay. Good. Good. So you are on that show. It's on CBS. Yep. And recently...

Much like the power dynamic in the DC universe had irrevocably changed when Black Adam came. Yes. It was so crazy how insanely everything changed. Yeah, it was so strange. But the landscape of late night television is about to change because your show is going off the air. Yeah.

No. Is this late night television in general or just the show? Just the show. Just the show, yes. To be specific, yeah. It's also just kind of a metaphor. Yeah. Oh, I understand. That wasn't an actual tape record. I thought you had a tape record. We have like 44 more episodes. Oh, okay. Only 44, though. Only 44. Interesting. When does it actually go off the air? In May or? April 28th. April 28th is the very last one. Yeah. What do you have planned? I have, you know what? Actually, I'm flying out to Salem. Really? That night.

on a red-eye to Boston, Boston, that night to attend SatanCon. Yeah.

which is a real thing. And, uh, you decided to go to, well, my friend Alistair and I, for this last Halloween decided to go to Salem, uh, for, uh, the, uh, well, I guess what, Oh, it was just Halloween. And, uh, we went, we went to the last Halloween. I went for Halloween. God, what was the reason for Halloween thing? Um, there was never, do they do an upright at Halloween? Do they do a big thing? It's kind of like a Mardi Gras of Halloween. Um,

Does anyone do they like someone dresses as Deadpool and they're like, come on, man, that's not what we're doing. This is like witches and warlocks. Yeah. Yeah. No, you don't get too much Deadpool action. Although, no, you don't. No. I mean, it's mostly we went the weekend before because the actual weekend, I guess, is super hyper crazy. But we had such a good time and we stopped off at the Satanic Church.

which is not what you think it is, but it's just a cool organization of weirdos that are trying to be cool about... Who love Satan and want Satan to take over the earth. They love Satan, but it's not as hardcore as other satanic churches. Yeah, it's not like... I mean, the people who love Jesus, they really love Jesus. They're always like, you've got to love Jesus and no one else. People who love Satan, they're like, hey, you can like Satan, you can love Satan, whatever, but you can like other people too. There's a huge gradient, and they're accepting of all satanic dark thoughts and things like that.

So you're going there. You took a look at that date for the last show and you were like, do I want to go to the wrap party? Is the wrap party over at James Gordon's parents' house? Yeah. No. I don't know. I don't know. Probably before because you know everyone's going to be like,

All right. Well, that was our show. You know, like... You saw that and you were like, I don't want to be around for that. I want to go to SatanCon instead. Yeah, I want to go for SatanCon. Well, because... I don't know. It's like, I think...

it's kind of like a cool, it just, it lined up, you know, perfectly. And I was like, yeah, why not? Well, it's the perfect excuse. It is the perfect excuse. Cause you can't miss Satan. I gotta go see Satan. Sorry guys, Satan out. Um, um,

It is. And it's important, you know, and James will understand. I mean, I think we're also, I think the party honestly is going to happen. If they're smart, they're going to do it before. Yeah, you got to do it before. I think everyone's going to be an emotional wreck during the final show. They are going to be wrecking it. Yeah, there's going to be tears. Yeah. Yeah.

I have no doubts. I mean, my thing is like, because I get hyper emo, even though I'm like, I'm like cool up until the last minute. And then I get really emo. And then when I get emo, I'm just like, I gotta get the fuck out of here. So, so like, I don't want anyone to see that. No, it wasn't that I don't want you to miss. I just don't want to like, I've suffered from emotional incontinence, you know, at times. And I don't want to, you know, have that loop and I'll like, it'll be, take me days to get out of it. So yeah, I got to get out. No, it's true. I mean, the last episode of comedy, bang, bang,

I think you took off in the middle of the second take. That's true. And you had to, like, use CG or composite. Oh, yeah. You're CG'd for the last 10 episodes that you did, I think. That's so insane. Yeah. God damn it. Really bad CG, too. I'm surprised people bought it. Well, I mean, people will be anything with, like... I mean, they'll buy anything as long as the writing is really excellent. Yeah, yeah. Well, I mean, you could...

What's weird, too, if you watch those final 10 episodes you did, you look like the, what is it, the T-1000 or the T? You're all metallic and shiny. Yeah. Well, yeah, because they couldn't get, I mean, the shininess. Yeah, it was just like basic CG. Plus, you guys didn't have the money at the time because it was like a scrappy outfit, you know? Yeah, yeah, yeah. I mean, we got the money later. Yeah, way later. We were sort of like, do we go back and redo these like George Lucas with those Star Wars movies and...

make Reggie actually look like Reggie? I mean, I guess you could do like, you know, Comedy Bang Bang remastered. Yes. You know? Yeah, although we're not supposed to use the word master anymore. Oh, that's right. Yeah, reprimand. Because of Masters of the Universe? Yes, exactly. I'm the infringement on that copyright. Yeah, I get it. Yeah, yeah. We can say Skeletor. Of course. Reskeletor. Yeah, you can reskeletor it. Yeah, we can reman it, arms it.

Well, that's an incredible achievement. How many years on the show? If I'm guessing, six? Really close. Eight. Eight? I was so close. That was really close. When you're talking about years, though, you got to be closer than two off. I guess. A lot of people are saying like 15. But that's like two high schools.

That is. Yeah, that is. It's like you were a freshman, then a sophomore and then a junior, then a senior. And then you're like, let's go back to freshman. Yeah. Then I became then I then I was a guy. I can't even think of his name, but it was like that. John Cryer. Oh, yeah. Yeah. And hiding out. Yeah. Hiding out. Hiding. I didn't. I believe I know it might have been hiding. Are you going to miss it?

I don't know. I don't think so. I think, um, I think like, I think I'm, I will later, but there's going to have to be some time away from it where I'm like, Oh, what was, Oh, Whoa. Oh. You know, like that muscle memory. I'll be there. Yeah. Definitely. I love everybody at the show is awesome. Like, like so cool. There's only so, so long you can listen to boring celebrities, tell dumb stories, right? Well, do you have to listen to that? I sometimes don't.

I have, I have taken naps before during those segments on the floor. The director loves it. Um, do you have an earpiece in where they, they then say like, no, you know what? It's never, it never has happened. I think, um,

I think they gave up at a certain point where they're just like, ah, it's fine. But, well, I mean, I will say that like on Letterman, who was the man on Letterman? He was a man. Paul Schaefer, do you mean? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Paul Schaefer, yeah. Letterman was a man as well. Letterman was a man. It's right there in his actual name. Okay. As sort of a hint. That's actually weirdly, I'd never even thought about the gender of David. At one point, you know, because there are so many names that are something man, something, you know, the Fablemans, look at them.

They're really popular. Ocker man. At what point do we start doing pronouns instead? So like Ocker him. Oh, yeah. Ocker him. Ocker him. Ocker he. I think that would be more inclusive. Ocker it. I think Ocker it. Well, also, we change it from mailman to mailperson. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Ocker person. And garbage man to garbage people. So he person. Garbage person.

They/Them

Garbage they them. Garbage they them. Is this treacherous territory that we shouldn't be in? Well, Jason they them. No, I mean... Jason they them. See, this is much better. That makes more sense. And then we know how to describe him when he's shooting people in the head. Exactly. It's like, well, they them. And it's like, well, yeah, it's like sucks for them. Right? Right. Exactly. His victims. Yeah, exactly. That could be his catchphrase too. Yeah. Sucks for them. Yeah. It's like, but I'm me...

Does Jason Statham actually kill people a lot in his movies? He does. Well, no, I mean, like, there's a couple. But they deserve it, don't they? Most of them, yeah, yeah. They'll, like, in the writing. Has there ever been a Jason Statham action movie where he kills a bunch of people who deserve it because they're trying to kill him or they're holding someone hostage and then he just kills a random person just for fun and everyone's like, whoa, dude.

Yeah. No. Well, first of all, there's only two. I mean, yes, you're a murderer. We saw you murdering all those other people, but that's like a bridge too far. That was just like a rando walking down the street. Well, it's like Berenstein, Bernstein or whatever. Like the, the Jason Mandela effect. Yeah. Like the, um, his, a lot of people think in the movies that he has killed a lot of people, but if you go back, he actually doesn't actually, he doesn't actually kill anybody. I rewatched, uh, the transporter the other day. And you're right about that because every single person he kills, uh,

you hear like a little person off screen going, I'm all right. Yeah, almost. Yeah, it's really like...

If you do audio, like really intense audio masking and you get like the software or whatever, it really brings it out. That hurt, but I'm okay. It's like, I'm just an actor. Yeah. You'll hear that sometimes. Yeah. I'm just an actor. Not real. No, that is the thing. Sometimes I'll watch a movie and I'll be like, oh my God, this is so intense. And then I have to remind myself, oh no, they're all actors. And I wish they would just say that a lot. Like I wish at the beginning of a movie, everyone who's going to be in the movie would like,

Come out on screen, look into the camera and go, okay, what you're about to see is going to be fucking crazy. But we're all actors. Everything was cool. I know there are like car stunts that seem dangerous and people getting shot in the head, but everyone's okay. Yeah. And then they go away. And then at the end, they come back out to remind you of like, hey, remember what we said at the beginning? Everyone's cool now. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I think that would be healthier for people because I'm sure some people...

Are like, you know, mourning the loss of these characters. A lot of these characters don't even exist. They're just many characters and stories and stuff like that aren't even real people. Yeah. Like I watched that Avatar, the water movie. Oh, Evader. Evader. Yes. I'm sorry. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, is that how you pronounce it? I had no idea. Evader. So I watched Evader the other day and so many of those fish are dead. And I was like, oh my God, the world has fewer fish.

Yeah. Are those the fictional fish? I think they're fictional, though, now that you mention it. Yeah. The fix-fix. The fix-fix-fix. Yeah.

Yeah. I mean, even like people will mourn the loss of fictional fish too, because they don't know that those, that there's not a world. That's not this world. That's somewhere out there. Like they believe that that, that they took cameras and went to that actual. Well, finding Nemo is the only movie that was actually shot in this universe. That's true. Right. And so the, so the, the, the mom fish who dies at the beginning, that's one we should actually mourn and feel the loss of, but every other movie is on a fictional universe. Yeah.

where there are fictional cameras filming it, right? Yeah, yeah, of course. Well, I mean, the cameras aren't fictional. They're real cameras. They're real cameras. How do they transport them over to these? They're really good cameras, too. Do you remember remote viewing? Yeah, of course, yeah. So it's a form of remote viewing. So professional camera persons. They can take their cameras over to these other in the remote viewing situations? Yeah, they can project the cameras. I always wanted to do that. They're still using the camera. So they have like a regular camera with a piece of green cardboard in

front of it and then they just like they project themselves there and the camera picks up what they're projecting have you ever done the remote view you're a guy that i would think would yeah would have tried that well they used to call me remo williams oh okay but i was just taking the te off of it yeah just because like a remote you know just because it makes it fit remote viewing williams was the original title of that yeah yeah yeah it was it was remote viewing williams and uh and he was good at it he was great i mean they never show it in the film

But it's heavily implied that he does that. It's in the title. It's right there in the title. Of course he does it. Of course he does. Yeah, no, no. I'm pretty, I'm decent at it. You know, like not on purpose, but by accident sometimes. Okay. Yeah. Great. Okay. I'd love to do a session with you at some point. Yeah, yeah. For sure. It'd be cool to like find ourselves in these other places and then see each other and be like, wait a minute, I'm sitting right next to you.

Oh, shit. That would be cool. And now I'm here in this other place with you, too. Why don't we just open our eyes and see each other in this place? Oh, shit. That could work. That would be so awesome. That could work. I mean, we could be doing it now, but we might be so good at it, we forgot. That's true. Yeah, that's true. We forgot. We could be at the CIA headquarters just doing it right now. You can only do it from a CIA branch. Sanction. Yeah, it's got to be a franchise. It's branded. Yeah, otherwise I'll come after you.

It's like, not in this location. That's not official. Reggie, what are you going to do next? Because obviously you have Satan Con coming up on April 28th. That's correct. But what is going on after that for Reggie Watts? What does the future have in store? I know that we're not...

Soothsayers, we're not fortune tellers. We have no idea what the future holds for any of us for certain, but I know that you must be making plans. What's going on with Reggie Watts after the show ends? That's fantastic.

Yeah, I, you know, I have a book coming out. What is this book? Because I've read every book that's come out. Yes. And you, I have not read one by you, so I assume it's not out yet. It's not out. It's not out. I mean the- Every week on, the books come out on Tuesdays. I'm sorry.

I'm just overjoyed because I have all the new ones sent to me. Oh, that's so cool. And I read them all by the next Tuesday. I'm like, see you next Tuesday to my mail person. And she always looks at me like very weirdly. Wow, that's crazy. Shout out UCB. Yep. Yeah, I...

I mean, yeah. And there's like what on average, like what, nine books a week that come out? There's usually between eight and ten. Eight and ten. Oh, nine usually. Okay. So, yeah. So, nine is like roughly in the ballpark there. Yeah. Yeah. This book comes out, I think, in the spring. Hopefully right after the... When young men's flights of fancy turn to love and amour. Amour. Yeah.

A whole amore. Yeah, it's... I don't know when it's going to... It's going to come out in the spring. That's what they say. You never know with these publishers. Well, at this point, you should have a release date. Okay. I think it's soon. They usually work very far in advance. I think it's soon. I mean, it's done.

It's probably coming. It's done. You just haven't been checking these yet. Well, yeah, I got to just choose a couple. There's a couple tweaks, like the graphics, the font for the cover. Sure, the words inside. Yeah, the shape of the words. The shape, the content of the words. The content of the words. You have to write it, essentially, right? Yeah, I still have to write it, and it's just an idea right now, but I think it's going to come out in spring because I think that's enough time. And what does this book,

It's called Great Falls, Montana. But isn't that where you're from? It was a coincidence. Oh, okay, good. Yeah, it's based on my life. You know, from birth to...

relatively now but it focuses most specifically on my high school years because I do want to make a series based off of that I see so instead of just making the series you say let's make a book so that we can say the book the series is based on a book and it sounds classy it sounds cool yeah that sounds awesome the only reason it yeah I just wanted to I just want to actually it's because I do a lot of jokes and stuff like that and this time I wanted to just actually do something yeah what did you do what happened in high school that was so interesting I

Well, you know, Scott, you won't know this because we're not the same age, but it was the 80s for me.

It was 1986. I'd just gone into high school. I'd just seen The Breakfast Club, which really made me feel like I was ready for high school. So when I got in there, I was like, oh, my God, it's just like the John Hughes movies. This is insane. What am I doing here? And I was like, oh, full of wonder and all that. But

But basically, yeah, that's the vibe. Like, it's about the 80s and being in Montana and being a weirdo and finding other weirdos and having a really fun time and adventures. This is cool. Did you see Tegan and Tara's show about high school? No, I didn't. It's on Freebie, my good fellow. Oh, Freebie. Freebie. Or not Freebie. I believe it's called High School.

Really? Yeah. That's awesome. All right. I like, I love those guys. Yeah. Yeah. They're great. Check it out and you could just, just honestly just steal it. Okay. Yeah. I'll just, I'll just take the writing. You have to be a lesbian. A les, lesbian. Lesbian. I wouldn't call it a les necessarily. Oh, I was just, I just, I was stalled. You were pausing. I was stalled. Yeah, you were pausing in between. Oh, be it.

Lesbian. Yeah. You've heard of Mr. Bean? Well, this is a lesbian. Okay. I thought, okay. Cause sometimes there are people who describe themselves as lay being, which is right. Right. The being, but yeah, you'll just steal all their scripts. I will.

Yeah. It's the easiest way to make a show. Yeah. No, that's how I do most of my shows. Good. Yeah. Okay. Well, this Great Falls, Montana is coming out sometime soon. Yep. Sometime. You also contributed to the Comedy Bang Bang book, which was very nice of you to do. So thank you very much. I'm excited for people to see what you did in it. My pleasure. It was fun. It was difficult, but yes. It was so difficult. It was. It's like what? 60% of the book?

I mean, it's a good 82. I think I actually counted the pages. God, I'm just like Porsche. I was under deliver on the performance. But then in actuality, it's much better. Do you mean the car or De Rossi? No, I'm talking about the Canadian show about high school. I'm talking about the car. Okay, got it, got it, got it.

Well, Reggie, it's great to have you. Can you stick around for we have some other guests. Do you remember how we would do this on the TV show? I do. Yes. There would be other guests. I vaginally remember. You vaginally remember. Yes. We have coming up on the show. We have a superhero. That's really exciting. Superheroes are very hot.

Just superhero or a superhero? A, just one superhero. Okay, gotcha. Yeah, and for not every superhero is here. Okay. We also have a soft drink representative. So that's very exciting. Oh, I love those. You do? The representatives or the soft drinks themselves? I just love soft drinks. Just soft to anything as far as I'm concerned. Just as soft as they can serve. It's like Pip.

put my head on it and go to sleep. God, I love it. Great. Yeah. Put your, uh, put a nice Coke. Yeah. Use it as a pillow. Yeah. Just the softest. Cause those new soft cans are so cool. So incredible. All right. Well, we're going to take a break. Reggie Watson's decided to stick around. We are going to take that break and we'll be right back with more comedy. Bang, bang after this.

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51 years or older. Terms and conditions apply. Comedy Bang Bang, we're back. We have Reggie Watts of the latest of late shows here with us, formerly of the Comedy Bang Bang television show, and of course does the theme song. And not only do you do just the Comedy Bang Bang theme song, but do you want to do the...

that other song that you do for the show sometimes? Do you want to do that one? Oh, yeah. I always do that. Okay. Yeah. Let's do it right now. Here. You're ready with your setup? Yeah. Just let me. Three, two, one.

Oh, I love that. Thank you for doing that. No worries. I love corners of foam. Always good to remember our friend Harris. And thanks for doing that for us. Yes.

We have to get to our next guest. Are you ready for this? Yeah, I am. I need you backing me up, Reg. Okay. I'm behind you. Okay. You've seen the press notes for our next guest, so you've been thinking of your questions. I need you to... What's going on with you right now? I'm behind you. Oh, okay. No, no. Actually, get in front of the mic, though. I thought you wanted me to back you up. No, no, no. Not physically. Oh, I'm sorry. Get in front of the mic is actually where... I'm just going to be coming a little bit closer. I don't want you like that Raven. Okay. Now I'm back. Okay. Great. Yeah.

Let's get to them. They're a superhero. This is exciting. Okay. Let's talk to this is an interesting name. Please welcome to the show. Oopsie Spider-Man. Spider-Man. Spider-Man. I'm Spider-Man, but not like you think. Hello, Scott Reggie. That's a theme song. You can do something with that if you want. Yeah. Do you want to do something with that? I'm just kind of writing stuff down right now. Just processing. Go ahead.

Okay, wonderful. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Work on that. Let us know what you come up with. Well, that's sort of it. That's the end of it. Hello. Thank you so much for having me. Hey, so great to meet you. You're... Oopsie Spider-Man is your name? I am. If you could just look down at me, that'd be awesome. Oh, I'm sorry. Yeah, I assumed you were in the shadows. Yeah, no, that's me. I'm the tiny little guy. Oh. I'm an orb weaver.

Due to an accident where a... You're an actual spider. Yeah, yeah. A large man from Queens bit me very, very gently. And now I am a spider with the powers of a man. Oh, wow.

Wow. Oh, okay. So you're, yeah, you have the powers of a man. What is, does that mean like you're able to produce sperm or? You know, I haven't tried that, but that would be very interesting to find out. You should try it. It's actually pretty fun. Do you think? Yeah. It's like one of my favorite things to do. Okay. All right. Here we go. Okay. Absolutely. What are the other powers of a man? Reggie, what are some powers of a man that you can think of? Can you, can you, can you like,

get mad at like a mistake, like, like tripping on something. I love doing that. It's my new favorite thing. Another thing I'm very good at ordering appetizers at Italian restaurants, the perfect amount to have enough for everyone. And then leftovers for the next three days. That's it. It was, it seemed like a flex when you're saying the perfect amount for everyone at the table. But then of course there's leftovers for three days. That's could be any amount. I would argue that's the perfect amount.

I think it is a perfect. It is one of the perfect amounts. What are some of your other powers? Are you able to look at women walking down the street and ask them to smile? Oh, I do that all the time. And then my wife...

Oh, you have a wife. You're married. I do. She turns to me and goes, were you just looking at her? And I go, you're crazy. So that's another thing that I can do. Gaslighting. Yeah. I'm kind of a bad guy. Yeah. You're a bad boy. I'm a little bit of a bad boy. Those are man powers. Yeah. Yeah. You know, I got about 700 children. And so. Congrats. Thank you so much. What are their names? Okay. Well. We'll wait.

No, that's fine. So starting off sort of alphabetically, we got Abby. Abby. Oh, okay. So not Aardvark. No, not Aardvark. She's at Brown right now. Oh, okay. Yeah, it's very exciting. Recluse? She's at Brown Recluse right now. It's, you know, so learning to be poisonous is pretty good. Learning to be poisonous. Yeah, yeah, yeah. She's at the dorms. Yeah, thank you so much. I love that. Thank you. She's got to watch out for those slippers, though. You know, people trying to swat at her. Scott, we don't joke about stuff like that. I'm not joking. I'm literally saying she's got to watch out for that. I've lost about...

40 of my kids. As long as we can agree, I'm not joking. Sorry. Sorry for your loss. We can agree you're not joking. We're okay. I'm honoring them. I appreciate you saying that. It's been pretty tough.

on us as a family. I'm so, so sorry. How many children have you lost out of the 700? About 690, give or take. And what's tough about that is because if I spend too much time with them, I will eat them. So that's also been sort of, you know, I am, I got the mind of a man, but I haven't lost all the spiders, what I'll say. Yeah, yeah. Do you have the life expectancy of a man as well? I do, which has been really tough because it's sort of like I watch everybody that I love and know die in front of me. Well, your wife? Yeah, your wife is going, I mean. I'm married to a human woman.

Oh, that's sad. Do you know Tara Reid? Yeah, from the Big Lebowski. Yeah, I've seen the Pussycats. Yeah. And Sharknado or Sharknado as I thought it was pronounced when I first read it. Sharknado. Sharknado. Yeah, my wife met her a couple of times, so that's pretty exciting. Oh, that's pretty cool. Wow. So where did you meet your wife? Hinge.

Hinge. Oh, that makes sense. Yeah. Scrolling the apps. I was talking to a couple of different people. It's tough. Are you able with your little legs to scroll apps? Well, I got a couple of different legs. I got a glove that you put on and it's sort of, if you press it hard enough, you got to press really hard to get exhausted. But you have the powers of a man. So I've the fortitude to continue to persevere. So can you, you can technically like you could do multiple screens, right? Because of the, you've got more than three legs, right? Yeah.

You would think. You're like an octopus, but with arms. Well, if Apple would answer my messages to make phones small enough for me, that would be a thing. But the phones are still phone size. The emails you're sending are probably too small for them to read. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. So it's pretty tough. That has been tricky. So I end up using a human-sized phone. I can make phone calls. I can play apps. I'm not very good at Candy Crush because it takes me a very long time to go from reach to sort of scroll. When you say you're not good, like what's your high score?

I'm on level seven. I mean, that's pretty good. That's better than I'm at. It's way better. So you're at level zero? I'm at zero at this point. Yeah, I haven't even turned it on. Okay, so this is the kind of kindness and connection I'm looking for that you just don't get in the spider community, but the human community won't accept me either, which has been a little bit tough. Is your wife into spiders?

She married me for my mind. Oh, that's nice. Right. Where is that located, by the way? My mind? Yeah. Sort of in my stomach. Okay. Oh, gotcha. A real man style. Yeah, yeah. Gut feelings. Go for the gut. Yep. So, are you a...

I introduced you as a superhero. Are you a superhero? Do you, are you out there fighting crime? I'm trying Scott. Actually, part of the reason why I was coming on here, I was hoping, uh, you kind of like stuff, right? So I wouldn't go that far. Can you get me a, can you give me a intro to the, uh, uh, the Avengers, maybe justice league.

Something like that. Reggie. Just as League. I'm just wondering who you know. You mean like a theme song? Just that League. Oh, just that League. Yeah. Do you mean a theme song? Because Reggie does great theme songs. Yeah, I do. Do you want to hear Harris' phone corner again? Oh, as much as I love that, maybe I'll pause on that for a second. Why don't we see her just again?

Thanks, Reggie. That was great. That was beautiful. Right in my ear, too. That was fantastic.

So again, that would be wonderful if maybe you think that. Yeah, what do you have? I mean, the Avengers, what do you got? Oh, you mean like, oh, it's like, oh yeah, like, I hear the Avengers of the world. Okay, that was beautiful. That seems more like a theme song for the Avengers. I was hoping for something for me. Oh, I guess you said an intro to the Avengers. Oh, I understand what you're saying. I hear the avarice spider. It's a busy spider.

Sounds a little like something like when Irish eyes are smiling or something like that. Oh, spider. Oh, so many eyes are smiling. Okay, that was beautiful. You got a real talent is what I'll say. Thanks. I'm pretty good at scouting out talent. That's my new thing, too. Oh, you're a talent scout as well. Well, more, you know, I can tell people that I think that they're good and they should do something with that. That's a cool skill. That's sort of my thing. Have you considered that? Yeah, I like it.

I like it. And then I sort of ask what you've been doing. And then people sort of tell me what they've been doing. You're like a talk show host. I don't really know that. It's kind of a superhero, right? Yeah. I mean. Do you think? They're the people we most admire. You're right. They are the people we most admire. No, I couldn't do that. Who'd want to hear a spider interview? I think it would be interesting. I mean, as long as you don't talk too much about spider things. Do you think? Because people find spiders to be kind of gross. To be honest.

With my left hand, I've grabbed my slipper and I'm like kind of wrestling with whether I should smash you in the head right now. Scott, don't do that. I've killed a few of our guests over the years. I think, well, the potato died definitely while she was here. But I can't remember if I had a hand in that or not. But yeah, I've killed a few of our guests. Or a knife. Oh, there was that fairy that came when the busiest man in the world was here. Oh, I see. But...

But yeah, so I mean, just don't talk about spider stuff too much. Talk about human interest. Yeah, I could try that. Listen, if I can- Do you want to practice on Reggie? I'd love to. Like Reggie's going to be promoting his book. Yeah, yeah, I can. Reggie, hello, my name is Spider-Man. Oopsie. By the way, everyone knows your name because it's in like the theme song of the show. Okay, but you asked me to do it. This is what I would do if I was a theme, if I was a host. So this is sort of my thing. I'm so sorry to interrupt. I just wanted to critique your style a little bit, but go ahead. Okay, I'm resetting.

Reggie, it is me, oopsie Spider-Man. The one time I was bit by a man and then I turned into a, still a spider, but my head was a little bit more like a man. I sort of contemplate a lot of existential things now, which has been fucking me up a little bit. How are you doing today? Uh, great. Thank you. And we are out of time. Thank you so much for coming and sitting on my couch. Thank you. How was that? Oh,

I mean, I have a few notes. It was good. It was good. First of all, I think your segments are too short. Do you think? Yeah. I mean, usually a talk show segment lasts. How long are these? Like seven minutes? You say seven, eight. Eight, somewhere around there. That seemed to be about 15 seconds. Well, I was just thinking I was going to make it nice and small just because I don't know who's listening to it. Oh, TikTok format. Something like that. Just so that way – because for me, I've just been realizing the world is really made for people –

For people. For people. So it's tough. I always forget that. What is the purpose of spiders? I've always wondered that. You see them and you're like, here's how the ecosystem was broken down to me. Like everything that you see that's irritating...

is there so it can eat something else. Well, guess what? Let's just get rid of all the things. You know, like spiders are eating like flies and shit. I hate flies too. Let's get rid of the spiders. Let's get rid of the flies. Mosquitoes. Let's not even talk about them. All they're there to do is eat something smaller than it. Let's just get rid of all of it.

I'll put it this way. In the spider community, we've been having a big conversation about how do we get rid of the Scots in the world? You know what I mean? Hey, don't joke about that. I'm just saying. So it's one of those things where potato, potato. Rest in peace to the potato, by the way. I was going to say, so I'm a little bit worried bringing it up right now. But, you know, and I'm not suggesting that we commit genocide on every spider. No, not every spider. I mean, spiders are cool. Yeah.

You know, they look cool. Thank you, Reggie. They just, you know, you look at them and they're just like, hey, man, you know, like that's the vibe that I get from a spider. I guess so. Yeah. It's like, hey, look what I can do. And then they can like some can jump crazy or they can make sick webs. What I think is really interesting is you'll see one on the ceiling. Yeah. And you'll sort of swipe at it and then it falls to the ground. And.

It's fine. Like if I were to fall that amount of distance, that's like, you know, falling off the Empire State Building or something like that, like they did at the end of Sleepless in Seattle. That's true. They did do that. Yeah. Didn't Tom Hanks and Meg Ryan like jump in the alternate ending? That is. Yeah. They had to change it because they realized this could be a popular movie. Yeah. That might kill it.

So what I'll say is before I got human powers, fearless, not afraid of anything. And I think one thing that has developed. You have fear now. I have fear now. You have fear of death. Oh, that's so cool. I have fear of death. Yeah. That's great. I sort of understand my existence better. So it's a little bit, I understand what I'm going to lose. And even though I've lost so much, I fear losing more. Yeah. And are you afraid to get close to people because you're afraid of losing them? Well, I'm married to my wife, who sucks. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. I hate her. Who sucks. My wife sucks. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

This is good for stand-up if you're about to start stand-up. Do you think? Well, I mean, not since... I mean, I think there was a popular comedian who talked about how his wife and kids sucked, but we don't like to listen to him anymore. So I think there's like an open lane here. That's true. Listen, I could fill it with being a talk show host. I could fill it with being a stand-up, but what I really, really want is I want to be an Avenger. That's it. That's all I want. Of what? Reggie.

Should we tell her the Avengers are fake? Oh, yeah. Oh, shit. Yeah. Yes. I'm too cowardly. The Avengers are a fictional organization. No, I saw it. And even the people in it are fictional. I saw it in a movie, so it's real. Do we explain documentaries and the difference between... Well, also, I guess being new to being a human, you're just going to naturally not know that.

of because they're so convincing. Well, also just the movies in general. Yeah, the concept. The concept of those because the first people who saw that train coming at them, they were like freaked the hell out by it. That's true. Yeah, all up in arms. Yeah, what do we do here in this situation? I think, I don't know. I mean, I just say like- I look to you for ethical conundrums. I know that. Like this. I need guidance. Well, they call me H&R Puff and stuff. So I'm sorry, you're telling me there's no superheroes in the world? There's no Iron Man?

No. No Hulk? No. I mean, no. No Angela Merkel? No, there's Angela Merkel. Angela Merkel. Is that a good thing? Yes. Okay, I think so. Angela. You got the right uncle. Okay, well. Greta Thunberg? Greta Thunberg. She's sort of, people consider her to be a superhero. Oh, God, man. Bjork. Bjork? Bjork? Yeah. She's going to be at Coachella this year. Yeah. Can she lift an entire building on her back? I don't know. I don't know.

Conceptually. Maybe, yeah. So I'm just a freak? I'm just a freak? There's nothing I can do? Can you lift Sarah's hair building on your back? No. You only have the power of one man. But I think I can sometimes. I think I could if push came to shove, if I really had to. Me? Yeah. I say 320, but really 15. That's a wide chasm. Pretty good. Yeah. But manpower. So when you say manpower, when it comes to man's strength.

Is it relative to being a spider, like the scale of the size of a spider? The proportional. Yeah. Is that the proportional strength? Getting into the science of it. I love this, Reggie. I have to. I have to. Yeah. So it would be proportional to me. So it would be a fraction, right? So if a man can hold, you know, like eight times his body weight or something like that, I can hold eight times my body weight. I don't think a man can hold eight times his body weight. 16. I don't know, Scott. I think more of a fraction. 16 is closer. Yeah.

Why did the man bite you? Can I ask you that? That's a really great question. Thanks. We skipped over it, I feel like. It's a good setup to a joke. It is, yeah. Let's try to do it as a... Is this Riddle Me This? I don't know. Sure. Yeah, sure. Riddler. Oh, this is a good song.

Riddler. That was a good song. That's a good song. That's a really good song. Okay, so this is Riddle Me This. Basically, we all take turns trying to figure out what the punchline to this could be. So why did the man bite the spider? Okay, so Reggie, you have an opportunity to steal. To get to the other side. To get to the other side. Follow up of what?

You know what I'm saying? Okay. That's pretty good. Pretty good. Okay. It's coming to me next. Why did the man bite the spider? Okay. Spiders have eight legs. Because seven, eight, nine. Oh, okay. Oh, that's good. Yeah. That's really good. Let's go to Oopsie Spider-Man. Why did the man bite the spider? Because he was trying to prove to his stepson that he actually was a man. Yeah.

Is that what really happened? Or are you playing the game? Yeah. His stepson said, his stepson said, you're not a real man. My dad is a real man. And then he went, oh, what a real man. Could a real man not do this? And then he tried to bite my head off a bit so gently because his teeth are sort of like cheese. Okay. So wait, you were in someone's house. Mm-hmm.

And a person was having an argument with his father? A stepson was having his argument with his stepfather. With his stepfather. You can just call him a person, probably, was having an argument with his stepfather. I mean, sure, if we don't want to be specific. He doesn't need to be branded as a stepson, necessarily, in every action that he does. Well, that's sort of, I mean, I spend a lot of time in the house, that's sort of his big personality quality. He just identifies as a stepson? Well, he hates his stepdad, so I would argue that his biggest quality is that he is a stepson. Okay, sure. But he's talking to his stepdad, his stepfather, and the stepfather says, you're not a real man.

What precipitated this? The stepson said, you're not a real man. My dad is a real man. Oh, I see. Okay. He's been sitting on the doorstep every single weekend for the last six years trying to get, because the mom keeps going, oh, your dad's coming to pick you up this weekend. You're going to go camping. It's very exciting. He never comes? He never comes. This is a sad story. It's sad.

But so he says to the stepfather, you're not a real man. My dad is a real man. My dad is a real man. And then the stepfather says, would a real man do this? And to prove he was a real man, bit you in the head? Yeah. Well, okay. So I should back off, back up for a second. You should back off, first of all. You are so close to me right now. And I have this slipper. Oh, Scott, come on. You said you wouldn't do it.

You just said it. I never said I wouldn't do it. You didn't say that. It was sort of tacit. Okay. You had an energy about you. So I should back up for a second. The wife. Let's talk about the wife. Where's the wife in all of this? Well, she's my wife now. Wait, this is your wife? Oh, yeah. This is my wife, I should say. I thought you said you met her on Hinge. Listen, I did. Do you mean the Hinge of Adore? I met the Hinge of Adore. Oh.

They opened the door and I walked up and I said, hello, beautiful. On hinge. What an opening line. You were on a hinge. On a hinge. Well, game recognized game. That's a great opening. Hey, I appreciate that. I appreciate that. But so she'd been telling him, you got to get that spider in the corner of the bathroom. And he kept going, I'll get to it. I'll get to it. The guy. The one that he bit. The one that he bit. Terrified of spiders. Terrified of spiders. But he bit you.

Well, so then the stepson came in one day. Oh, I see. He was on the can. The stepson came in. He goes, I need to get in there. I need to take a shower before work. He was on the can. Yeah, he's on the can. He said, is that a phone? Yeah.

I'm not great with. No, no. Can is a bathroom. Yeah. Okay. Yes. You're sitting on the cans are also headphones. We're wearing those right. He was wearing some of those too. So we couldn't hear the knocking. That was the tough part. Okay. Thank you for getting the tiny headphones. Yeah. Oh, no. My pleasure. It's things like that. People don't think about. And I do really appreciate it because otherwise I spend time. I got to run from one earphone to the other. Of course. Yeah. We're inclusive this way. Yeah. I appreciate it. That's why we do this in mono. Yeah.

Yes. Monaco. I'm sorry. We're taping this in Monaco. Yeah, of course. Yes, yes. And the flight was beautiful. Thank you for first class for me. I really appreciate it. Yeah. I had no idea that it would be a little tiny spider on. I thought our guest didn't show up, actually, because I saw you there. Oh, I see. I was like, oh, there's a spider in this airplane.

I'm sorry. Who did you think you were booking? I got a really nice email saying from your assistant saying, you know, I'm so excited to have you. We've been trying to get you on the show for a long time. I'm really, really excited that you're coming. Yeah, we say that to everybody. I'm sorry. Yeah, I thought I thought we were booking Man Spider. Oh, I see. Who's a BMX racer. Oh, right. Very popular. Right. I see. Yeah. OK, I can go.

okay oh you want me to leave don't make me beg you to stay you're the one who brought it up I can go I guess really games you're playing with me you say you want to go I say okay and then you get insulted I'll finish my story and then I'll get out of your hair Scott or maybe I'll get into your hair we'll see what we're doing please don't

So he's sitting on the can. The kid's knock, knock, knocking on the door. And so finally he breaks in. A lot like Bob Dylan did at Heaven's Door. Oh, yeah. Oh, sure. Big fan of that music. That's something that you get when you turn into a man in the head. So that's sort of the thing. Yeah, I'm a big fan of Dylan. Do you watch Yellowstone? Oh, love Yellowstone. The minute you become a father. All the offshoots. Draft Day. A lot of Costner's catalog. I'm a big fan of that. I'm not sure Draft Day is in the Yellowstone universe. So anyways, he's...

I thought that was about a bartender, by the way. Like Draft Day? Yeah. It seems so exciting. I'm going to go on. It's about a bunch of sportos. Scott, did you see it? I didn't see it. Oh, shockingly good movie. You wouldn't think you were going to go into it going, what do I know about Draft Day? I think Griffin Newman's in it. I think so. Anyway, go ahead. Anyways.

I'm sitting in the corner there. I'm watching all this happen. The kid comes in and he goes, I need to use the shower. And the dad goes, yeah, well, I'm in here. And the kid goes, well, you're not a real man. My dad is a real man. And he goes, oh, yeah. That's a big jump. Well, because he goes, you can't even kill the spider in the corner. And I'm sitting there. I'm like, how did I get dragged into this? You know what I mean? Oh, I see. And the dad goes, he pulls me off and he goes, would your dad do this? And he bites me, but his teeth are gone.

It's not the way that you should be killing a spider by popping it in your mouth. But this guy's a weirdo. We've established that. Bites me ever so gently and sort of throws me over his shoulder. And was he radioactive?

Because that's part of the Spider-Man thing is that it was a radioactive spider. You know, it's really hard to say. He does work at the nuclear plant. He works at the power plant. Oh, he must have been radioactive. Is his last name Simpson? Yeah, how'd you know that? No, no big deal. Was his first initial H by any chance? H? Yeah, how'd you know that? And was his stepson named Bart perhaps? I think it was. And your wife is, of course, Simpson.

The crazy one. Right, right, right. I get it. So anyway, he does this. You hook up with the mom. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So, you know, we're doing well. I sort of put on a big facade that I hate her. But guess what? I don't hate her as much as I say.

So you do hate her? Well, I hate her because I tell her my feelings and my feelings are bad. Oh, yeah. So, you know, it's that sort of thing. But, you know, I'm sort of working through some stuff. Yeah, well, like all men. I mean, have you ever considered like a drum circle or something like that where, you know, you just like get out all those feelings, you're shirtless? God, I would consider a drum circle. But once again, the drums are kind of big and my hands are sore. I got to bang so hard. I get one good bang in there and then I got to call it a day. Yeah. Okay. Yep.

One bang and you're out. So you have the emotional, as Reggie said, incontinence of a man. You bottle up everything and then you just fly off the handle in rage torrents. Yeah, and now there's nothing I can even channel that into. I was hoping maybe I could take the Avengers on long walks and give them unsolicited advice, something like that. And now that's not even an option. You could take it out on your wife, I guess. No, I couldn't do that. Why not? I hate her, but she's an angel. Oh.

Yeah. That's how we all feel. That's that. Hey, you're not alone. That's you're not alone. That's how every man feels. And now I got this stepson. Right. At first, I'm sitting in the corner feeling bad for him. And now I'm dealing with him. Oh, really? What's he like? He's tough. Yeah. He spends a lot of time masturbating in his bedroom. Well, I mean, at least he's doing the standard. That's true. Yeah. Yeah. But I'm tiny. And so I've sort of set up camp at the corner of his room now. And it's kind of tough having to have to watch your stepson beat off all day every day. Yeah.

Yeah. I mean, spiders are quick, but not quick enough for a surreptitious beat-off session. Yeah. Plus so many eyes. It's hard to cover all of them. Yeah. Thank you for saying that. I think not a lot of people recognize that, but it is true. Yeah. Well, look, oopsie, Spider-Man, you're a fascinating guest. I am glad you made it. I thought we wasted that first-class ticket, but I'm glad. I'm glad. I'm glad. I'm glad. Yeah, we're both glad. Do you guys mean it?

So we're friends. Yeah. We're sort of friends. We're guy friends. Yeah, we're guy friends. And you're not alone when you have all these feelings that guys have. All guys have these feelings. Okay, I'm going to start a text thread with us. Murderous rage. Yeah, sure. You know? Okay. Not alone. Not alone. Not alone. Oh, and here to welcome you into the guy club, I've given you a poster of a Lamborghini Countach. There you go. Wow. Hey, Reggie.

Thank you for printing it in a size that I can, in a tiny, tiny little tube. So small. Size of a Q-tip. You had to buy a tiny printer for that, too. I appreciate that. Yeah, because I wanted to keep everything authentic. Yeah, he went to a tiny dollhouse where they had a little printer and he said, hey, can I buy just the printer? And the dolls looked at me blankly, but the printer worked. Okay. Well, hey, that's all you can ask for and I appreciate it. It doesn't go unnoticed. Thank you. I'm getting a little emotional. Getting a little choked up.

Bottle it down. Stifle it. I'm really sad to this on the end of draft day. You're a man. All right. Well, we need to take a break. When we come back, we have a soft drink representative. I mean, being a spider, you like sticky stuff. You must have tasted soft drinks. Oh, sure. Plenty of times. Get stuck on my little paws and I just sort of wrap it up. It's delicious. Yeah, wonderful. Well, we're going to come right back with that. We have more Comedy Bang Bang with more Oopsy Spider-Man, more Reggie Watts. We'll be right back with more Comedy Bang Bang after this.

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Comedy Bang Bang listeners can get Rosetta Stone's lifetime membership for 50% off. Visit rosettastone.com slash comedy. That's rosettastone.com slash comedy. Comedy Bang Bang, we're back. We have Reggie Watts here of Great Falls, Montana. You may know him from Taskmaster, right? Yeah.

I'm trying to think of your other credits. Pitch Perfect 2. Pitch Perfect 2. Pitch Perfect as well. Also in Soderbergh's Bad Pill. What was that movie? I don't know. I didn't see it. You know, it was the one about the pill thing or whatever. The pill thing? But they cut me out. But they had me do a scene. They cut your ass out? I was cut, yeah.

God. I know. Just my ass. The nerve of this guy. Yeah. You can still see me on the studio. Oh, okay. It's just like you have no ass. Yeah. Is it scooped out like an ice cream scoop? Yeah. It's the only like unrealistic looking thing in the whole movie. Right. Wow. But it's Jude Law. Oh, okay. Yeah. So that covers for it.

We also have Oopsie Spider-Man. Spider-Man, Spider-Man. Got all the complex thought, but no opposable thumbs. This is a copyrighted song. That's the other thing I want to talk to you about. Is this an issue? Oh, I see. Well. Yeah, you're going to have to come up with a new theme song. Do you think? Yeah. Reggie. Maybe. Or you know what? Just do it and ride the controversy. Okay. Do you think maybe that'll get me in the news? Controversy. Yeah, 100%. Okay. All right. I'll take it. Yeah. Yeah.

Well, we need to get to our next guest. This is very exciting. He's a soft drink representative, which is...

Oh, Reggie, did you get that from him? I did. Did you buy enough for everyone? I'll introduce you in a sec. Did you bring enough for everyone or just one for Reggie? I don't have to buy it. I get it for free. But did you bring enough for everyone? I did not. Oh, okay. Well, let's introduce him. Please welcome Tam Pasture. Hey, everybody. It is fun to see how the fudge is made. I'm sorry. You banged the table that was very close to Oopsie Spider-Man.

Oh, yeah. That's one of our guests. Hello. Hi. I'm sorry about that. Oopsie. Yeah. You'd think because apparently in the film, the original Spider-Man, he has all these superpowers. He's super tough, super strong, has sort of senses. Those all got dulled when I got bit by that man. Right. So you have the response time of now just like a man. Sort of a 44-year-old on the way out. Oh, is that? Oh, on the way out. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's tough. Well, I'll tell you what could heighten those senses. A little caffeine, maybe in the form of a Coke.

zero all right all the excitement none of the sugar okay so okay i like the coke zero is that who you are representative for is cook zero or you just like them and you represent a different cold i'm a representative for the coca-cola company scott okay the big one the big daddy the big mama yeah polar bears polar bears you know them you love them scott world unity that's it taco bell

Do you have the Taco Bell again? Are they a Pepsi company or are they a Coke company? Taco Bell is a Pepsi company. That's right. That's a Pepsi company. The names. The names that they put on the can. They used to put people's names on the can. Yeah. Yes. Yes. And you would hope you'd get your name. You would hope you'd get your name. Hey, but you know what? If you got someone else's name, that's probably an okay thing too because you'd...

it would jar the memory of someone that you used to know. It's also like you're, you're sitting there and we were talking about remote viewing earlier. It's like, you're sitting there talking, you get like Gladys. Yeah. What percentage was Gladys? Gladys, we made maybe 40 to 60 of those scans. Okay. So say you get Gladys, you're like sitting there going like, I wonder, I wonder if there's a Gladys out there who's bummed that she didn't get her name. And suddenly you're thinking about other people instead of being so self-centered all the time. You know what that would start to happen then?

people would start to post on different social media sites, hey, I've got a Gladys. Does anyone have a Glen? Yes. Does anyone have a Glen? I would love to exchange not only the cans, Gladys and Glen are so close too. I bet it comes out of the machine. You see GL. You're so excited. Yep. And then it's Addis. I know. I know. That is the definition of heartbreak right there. Yeah. So close. What a wonderful campaign. Why aren't you doing that anymore? You know what? I guess we thought, well, we...

went to a different campaign with numbers. Oh, you were just doing numbers? Oh, okay. So it was like 348? Yes. Yes. We went up to 500. Initially we were like, well, let's say, let's just get like 0 to 100. Maybe someone's in, you know, their age. Their age. Right? Or the day they were born. Oh, you were doing birthdays? We were doing birthdays. Yeah, we would do like 890. Were you doing like street addresses for a minute? We tried that for a little bit, but I'll tell you what...

We had several lawsuits filed against us. Oh, yeah. Why? Because we would start to put, if we knew the name. Of who lived there? We would put that on the can too because we were like, this person's going to love it when they get that can. You were doxing people. Yes, we were doxing people and that turned out to be problematic and we had to stop that almost immediately. Yeah. When you say almost immediately, how long did it run?

Well, it ran for about a year and a half. That's too long. Too long. When you get a notice that you should stop it from a lawyer, you can't go another year and a half. Yeah, but you're just like, did this person mean to send this to us or did they mean to send this to someone else? Yeah, you got to get that clear. Yeah, but now they are collector's items. Man, I would love to see if mine is out there somewhere. Yeah, get yourself on social media, post about it. Maybe someone else that you can start to start a conversation. Oh, okay, I'll post my address and see if people can know. Yes, anyone have this can with this address?

Wow. So what are you here to do? I mean, are you here to spread the word about Coca-Cola? We all love it. Reggie, are you enjoying that Coke Zero? I love Mazero. Yeah. You're from Montana, though. You're not from Mazero.

Nope. Not at all. Okay. Reggie, can I ask you a question? Yeah, yeah. What made you choose Coke Zero? What a polite young man. Can I ask you a question? I haven't asked you that this entire time. Hey, man. Consent. Right? Consent is cool, finally. Yeah, finally. Yeah. What makes you choose a Coke Zero over, say, a Diet Coke? Oh, that's so interesting. Both delicious. Both delicious. Okay, so what's the difference? Because the Diet Coke...

Doesn't have what? Doesn't have sugar. Diet Coke has its own particular taste. It's the only difference, the taste, because they both don't have sugar, right? They both don't have sugar. That is correct. You can enjoy it without the guilt of added sugar. But then what's the, why then the zero? Why?

Well, we want to let people know there's zero sugar, but also this isn't Diet Coke. This isn't your daddy's Diet Coke. Oh, okay. Okay. But my daddy, it's still okay if he drinks Diet Coke, right? It's okay. Can I tell my daddy that it's okay? Yeah, you can tell your daddy that. Absolutely. Send him an email. Okay. All right. I like that. Also check to see what can he has. Maybe he's got Diet Coke. Oh, okay. Yeah. Can with your address. Anyway, Scott, I got in my 4Runner, drove down here to Monaco. You drive a 4Runner?

Toyota 4Runner. Yeah. That was a Toyota? 2018. Okay, I thought that was a Nissan. Sorry. No, Nissan Pathfinder. 2018. So you've had it for five years or so. So it's not a lease. It's not a lease. I own it outright. Oh, so you paid it off already? I paid it off last week. Oh, congratulations. Thank you. Us boys in our car talk. Look at this. All right. Treated myself to a slice.

Oh, okay. Is that in the drink? Mm-hmm. Okay. Oh, yeah. Not a slice of Coke. Not a pizza. Not a pizza. You didn't go to New York suddenly. Slice. I love Scott when you talk about New York. That's why I love this show so much. It's so fun. Oh, you're a fan. I'm a huge fan, Scott. Oh, well, welcome to the show. Thank you. And that's why I'm here today. Oh, because you're a fan? Or I thought you said you were here for some other reason. Coca-Cola.

Would like to sponsor Comedy Bang Bang. What? Comedy Bang Bang. Comedy Bang Bang. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Amazing. What do we have to do to... Do we have to change the name to Coca-Cola Bang Bang? Scott, you keep being yourself. You keep running this wonderful show. But every episode, you go ahead and enjoy an ice cold Coca-Cola or...

maybe introduce one of our new flavors while you're at it. Oh, what are the, yeah, I would love, I mean, right now I know the Coke flavor. Yes. There's the Diet Coke flavor. Cherry. Cherry, cherry. There's vanilla. Vanilla. There's black cherry. Okay. Black cherry. Oh, good call. What's the difference between cherry and black cherry?

Tartness. Tartness. Yes. If I give one word. Yeah. It's like my friend Carl. Yes. Yes. Also very funny. We love him on the show. We love him to also promote some of this Coca-Cola deliciousness. He'd love to do that. All right. So what are the new flavors? Well, Scott, coming up first, we're going to release a brand new flavor. Now, you like the crisp flavor.

cold, refreshing taste of a Coca-Cola classic, wouldn't you say? Why did you bring so many for Reggie and none for the rest of us? Sorry. I knew Reggie was a real Coke head, so I thought I better go ahead and give him a few blessings. We all know Reggie is a Coke head. Yes. Yes.

So truth. But if we're going to go ahead and add a little new twist to this cold, crisp, refreshing Coca-Cola classic, why don't we add something else that's cold, crisp, and refreshing? And that is nothing else other than iceberg lettuce.

The cold, crisp, refreshing flavor mixed with the cold, crisp, refreshing texture of iceberg lettuce. Oh, okay. Can you feel that in your mouth right now? Can you feel that in there, swishing around? Getting caught between your teeth a little bit? I don't know. Do you have one that we can try? You better believe I do. Okay, Reggie, do you want to open that up? Yeah. Oh, good. This one, there's three of them for all of us. Yeah, thanks. Okay.

Thank you for doing the tiny size, by the way. That was kind of you. Oh, my God. Well, very crunchy. Yes. Very crunchy. It's like eating a Caesar salad in a way without all the stuff you like on a Caesar salad. Yes. Not wilted. No. Surprisingly. To be honest.

I expected it to be wilted. Because normally, anytime you ever eat a salad, it's wilted. It's wilted. It's Chamberlain. Listen, this is coming from somebody who has eaten two of his own children. This is an interesting flavor. Thank you. Were your children not interesting? Were they also interesting flavors? Bland. You know, I kind of expected what the taste was going to be. Not about me. Don't worry about it. Okay. All right.

Well, I mean, it's very lettuce-y. It's a lot like a burger wrap. Yes. But again, without the stuff that you enjoy. Without the calories. Yeah. Without the calories. Yeah, no, lettuce is very good for you. And honestly, I feel the daidai coming on. So the roughage element to it is really good. We've added fiber to this particular colo.

All right. Yeah. Really? I mean, when I hear cola, I think colon. And so to have it clean it out like that is, is, you know, it's very expedient. Yeah. I'll go ahead and say, I don't taste any Coca-Cola in here. Yeah. It's just, it's just like a can of lettuce. Yeah. We've definitely at, we, this is good. This is good feedback to get before we do the soft launch. Uh,

When you say a soft launch, you mean just a soft drink launch? Yep. Soft drink launch into the world. Absolutely. I'd say this maybe tastes like a green juice with just the juice lettuce. Uh-huh. Yeah. It's like it hasn't been blended yet or anything. Yeah. I'm going to take that back to Atlanta. Right back to headquarters. It's like half of a McDLT. Yeah. The...

Healthy half. The cold side, yeah. There we go. The cold side. The cold side is definitely cold in this. I will say these have been in your 4Runner, I can tell, because they're like room temperature at this point. Yes. Yes. And they've also been kind of on an adventure because this 4Runner's got a four-wheel drive and I've been off-roading. Oh, silly. What have you been doing? I've just been getting through streams, going through creeks, dry riverbeds. In California? Uh-huh. Yes. Okay.

Sounds like you're a cold, crisp seeker. Ah, yes. Cold, crisp adventure seeker. Now, that's who this coal is made for in particular. Okay. Except this is warm and it's not a drink, really. It's eating lettuce. Right. Yes. Yes. For now. For now. For now. Yeah. Yes. But we'll introduce a straw element that'll feel more like a beverage.

Oh, okay. Yeah. Interesting. Do you have any other flavors? Scott, you better believe I got some other flavors for you, my friend. Now, it's not just Coca-Cola, okay? We've also got Sprite. Sprite is part of the Coca-Cola family. Sprite is part of the Coca-Cola family. 7-Up is part of the Pepsi family, is that right? 7-Up is part of its own family. Oh, it has its own family. I never knew that. Never knew that. Never had it, never will. Like, I've never had it. You've never had a 7-Up? I haven't. Never will. Oh, my God. Well, you got to see 1 through 6-Up first.

for it to make sense you're right i've gotten a four i guess oh okay yeah yeah yeah that's usually anyhow let me ask you a question now are you familiar you know before you asked us if you could ask a question now you're just like kind of being bossy about it well i feel like i've earned your trust with the uh lettuce coke collab and and now you're just going for it okay let's stop mincing words and mincing veggies let's get to the next one are you fan of ruffles potato chips

Does it? I don't know. Does it have ridges? They have ridges. It does have ridges. They definitely have ridges. They got a bunch of ridges. I mean, I'll have a crumb if it falls in my path. Okay, yeah. I have one ruffle that just had one ridge. What? It was flat and then had a little bump in the middle. Well, I mean, that sounds like a kettle cook chip that maybe accidentally just folded over. It might have been a kettle cook chip. Like a wrinkled, like a one wrinkled. I also had a Cheeto that looked like Abraham Lincoln once. Whoa. Yeah. It had the top hat.

And it was long and skinny and had essentially it was it was essentially like a normal Cheeto. Just like I imagined when I looked at it that it kind of looked like Abraham Lincoln. Did you send it to the Smithsonian? I did. Yeah. Yeah. They put it on Archie Bunker's chair. Makes sense. Someone sat on it. That's the place. I mean, he ate a lot of junk food on that chair. Like, I think he did. He was the one that kind of pioneered the whole like Barkle lounger. Yeah, exactly. Yeah.

So why did you ask us that question? Because if you like Ruffles, there's a good chance you love Ruffles loaded potato chips. Okay. Now you're speaking my language, a.k.a. English. Well, if you like Ruffles loaded potato chips, you're going to love

Coca-Cola loaded. And we're talking baked potato. No. Okay. So Ruffles does not have anything to do with the Ruffles Corporation. Nothing to do with it. It's a collaboration. Much in the same way that we'll collaborate with certain restaurants. Not Taco Bell, not pizza. But we will collaborate with other brands to bring some new products. So you say it is a collaboration so it does have something to do with the Ruffles Corporation? It does. But it doesn't taste anything like potato chips but it does taste like a loaded baked potato. So it's not branded Ruffles? But it is rigid. It's a Coca-Cola product. The can is rigid. Oh, so it's rigid.

Okay, all cans are usually rigid. I just dropped that can and it was a thud, no reverberation. Okay, well. That was a thick can. Wow, all right. What's the can made out of? The can? Yeah. The can is made out of a, you know when you're going to have a loaded potato, what do you usually have it on?

Plate. Okay, that's right. You usually have it on plate. All right. And that plate is usually made out of? Ceramic. Ceramic. These are ceramic cans. Ceramic cans? Yes. They're all... And you made these unique ceramic cans because Ruffles have ridges. And you said if we make the can rigid, it'll make sense. It'll be like a Ruffles potato chip in which they have the loaded potato flavor. Yeah.

Okay, this makes sense to me. Let's just try these. I mean, why are we wasting so much time? Crack it open. Crack it open. Crack it open.

It's so dry. It's like a... Very dry. I think you got the formula wrong on this one. This is just potato. No loaded. Oh. No bacon bits, no sour cream. I hear where you're coming from. I hear where you're coming from. Very dry. Very dry. You're like, you know what? This tastes like a side. Well, let me tell you what. Let's give you a main. We've got Coca-Cola Porterhouse Steak. Why don't you go crack one of those open? They are juicy. If yours is so dry right now, they are juicy as all get out. Go for it.

Oh, God. Well done. Well done. Medium rare. I'm joking. Okay. All right. Oh, boy. It's delicious, but I don't like the texture. Tough texture. Yeah, that's a tough texture. Okay. Well, then I'll tell you what. If you're going to have some red meat, it pairs well with the red meat.

What? A red wine. We've got ourselves a Coca-Cola Pinot Noir. So why don't you go ahead, Matt. We'll have to mix a little bit of Cabernet in there. This is more. That's great. This is my line. This has no Coke flavor at all. None. This reminds me of a Zima. Yes. Yeah. Yes. I actually think it's just red wine. It's mostly red wine. We had to remove some of the Coke, most of the Coca-Cola because there was a

reaction between the two. They would separate and they would also start to... It's like oil and vinegar? Yes. Very much so. And it also created a simmering effect, which we were not anticipating. And that kind of led to some difficulties with the canning process. So we removed nearly all the Coca-Cola and we just left with a Pinot Noir. You say mostly red wine. What is the rest of it? Oh, the rest of it? The rest of it is going to be... Well, it's...

Because we had the old potato. You're very weirdly defensive about this. Okay, well, you know what? I'm the one who's...

I mean, I know these ideas. It can't be as embarrassing. I remember when Coca-Cola first came out, they put cocaine in it originally, and that's why people loved it so much. And that's embarrassing? Oh, I mean, it's embarrassing to the, they don't like people talking about it. I'm surprised you're talking about it. Okay. Well, I think it's okay to acknowledge our history and people did love the product at the time. Now, sure, we learned some things since then, but I mean, you asked- So what's in the red wine? Okay. But just real quick, before you, if you ask one person who likes cocaine and you tell me if they are-

embarrassed by it or if they have a problem with that. If they have a problem with cocaine. What's your question? Ask one person who likes cocaine if they got a problem with cocaine. If they're embarrassed by it or if they have a problem with it. Yeah. I'm going to tell you what, no, they don't. I don't know that I can rustle up someone who likes cocaine at this late hour. I'll say everybody I've talked to that says that they like cocaine says they do not have a problem with it. There we go. So is it cocaine? I get it.

Is it cocaine? There's a little bit of cocaine in this Coca-Cola red wine. Just say that. Okay. All to know what I'm putting in my body. And I'll have more, please. Okay. There we go. All right. Three more cans. There we go. There's a healthy amount of cocaine in there. See, this is a winner. This is the one that I like. There we go. I do like this one.

All right. Well, I'll tell you what. Because it's making me drowsy, but very awake. I think we should organize the studio. Yeah. I think we should clean and reorganize the studio right now. Good idea. Yeah. I don't think this is just cocaine. No? What do you think else? What do you think else? Amphetamines. Ritalin? Ritalin. Yeah. Yeah. Like prescription drugs you would find in someone's medicine cabinet. We had to temper the cocaine effects with a little something that's going to focus you a little bit more. So yes, we needed the- I'm drowsy.

I'm wide awake. I want to organize things. The wine made people draw as we had to up it with the cocaine that we had to even it out with the Ritalin. I'm getting a little bit of a Lunesta flavor as well. There's a bit of a Lunesta flavor in there. There's also a Lestra because my stomach is grumbling and I have to shit. Yes, absolutely. Before I settle that. That might have been the iceberg. All right. But I'm feeling a little better, so I'm guessing Welbutrin as well. Welbutrin's in there. Absolutely. Well, Zempik.

A tiny amount of Ozempic, but not too much that you're going to be overwhelmed by it. I also feel my cholesterol is going down. So there's... It's going down, but it's also going up. Oh.

Oh, okay. Yeah. And there's like a little ketamine, maybe a little. Yeah. That's the horse confidence. Yeah. Yeah. Also, I've really started to hallucinate. So I think there's some acid in there as well. My jaw is very tight. Now you're getting to the sweet moments of this. Yes, absolutely. Got a little bit of acid in there. I'm talking to a ghost right now. I'm pretty sure. What's that? That would be me. Yeah.

Wait, are you a ghost? Holy shit. Hold on. You're a ghost? Hold on. You're a ghost? You're the ghost of Coca-Cola? Why didn't you lead with this? I didn't want that to overshadow the new products that we're trying to launch here. How are you driving this 4Runner? I'll tell you what. Those things practically drive themselves, Scott. You got to get one. Oh, no. They are not. They never will be. They don't need to be. All right? When?

did you die i died nine years ago no so is that why the cans are so warm yes they've been so long before the pandemic man i'll tell you what i had myself a barks cocoa a barks root beer and uh what happened you know how they say barks is the one with bite yeah yeah that's their that's their slogan i mean yeah i'll tell you what

There were some sharp edges to that can and they sliced into my tongue and I bled out like you wouldn't believe. Down on your own tongue blood. I've heard of that. Barks bit me and I couldn't recover. No. Died right there in my 4Runner. Oh, that's why you're able to drive it? Is it a ghost 4Runner? It's a ghost 4Runner. Yes. I got a new model because I died nine years ago, but the 4Runner was a 2010. Oh, that's right. It's

Right. You traded it in. Yeah, I just traded it in. But you paid it off last week? Yes. To who? Jesus? Yeah.

Trust me, I didn't go to heaven. Oh, okay. Well, you're still here. You're still here. That's terrible to say no heaven. No, I got to get some of these sales done before I get to the great upstairs. Terrible that you still have to worry about money when you're dead. Desperately, desperately. I have got myself a condo just outside of Atlanta and the prices in the South, you think, hey, I'm going to move to Atlanta because it's a

prices are a little more expensive than that. They're skyrocketing. Oh, no. We missed the window. We missed the window. Now, can I just say, you seem quite corporeal at this point. Are you reanimating yourself? What's going on here? Yeah, can we poke through you at all? Do you mind if I try? What's them rules? You can poke through me a little bit, but I do have a little bit of texture. Pull it out. Pull it out.

Yeah, that's, no, you're definitely, I can feel you. You're not like the ghosts that I normally. But thick, like that mashed potato drink. Yeah. That's right. I tell you what, what I did was. Thick with two Cs. In order to try to give myself a little bit more of a tangible quality to myself, I grabbed some Tab Colas, also Coca-Cola products. Oh, they are. I love Tab. That's right. They love Tab. And I grabbed the Rob Cat Goldthwait drink. The Trader? Yeah. Never. Coca-Cola till I die. Yeah.

Grab some tab colas before they went off the shelves. And if you let those age a little bit, they do gain. They have like a gumminess and a stickiness. Is that what I was poking? They gain gumminess as we were saying. They gain gumminess through time. Got it. So I was just poking like old tab. Yeah. Residue. Yeah. Okay. Interesting. Can I ask a question? You.

Scott was able to poke through you, but you see why you got to get consent. That's what I'm learning here today. You're finally learning about consent. You're a man. Thank you so much. You didn't have to say that, and I appreciate that. So we seem to be able to poke through you, but you seem to be able to hold and interact with the Coca-Cola products. Yes, yes, yes. And that's the magic of Coca-Cola. All right. They're not just for you or for you. Ghosts can touch Coca-Cola. Is that the one thing that people...

They can touch it. They can buy it. They can taste it. They can love it. Wow. That's incredible. Color me impressed. Yeah. You tell me a Pepsi product that can do that and I will call you a huge liar. Get out of my face and get out of my car. And into my dreams. Absolutely. Yeah. Get in the backseat, baby. I don't want to experience that. So I'm not going to bring up any Pepsi products at all. Yeah. If I'm a ghost, I'm probably just going to hang out in women's locker rooms and stuff like that.

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. That's right. Yeah, that's right. Yeah, you're supposed to, actually. Yeah, I think so. Yeah. To just like help them with the towels. Yeah, you know, assist them. And be like, oh, you left your, you know, you left your backpack, you know, over there. Yeah. Oh, no, you dropped your phone in between the lockers. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's right. Warn them when creeps are coming, you know. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, creeps are coming. Creeps are coming. Cavity creeps. Cavity creeps. Creeps.

So I probably won't be doing a lot with Coke stuff, but I'll be too busy with that. Well, never say never, Scott. You don't know what's going to happen when you die. You might just find yourself knee deep in a nice, delicious Cherry Coke Zero. I hope I'm not knee deep. All right. Well, how about this? Butterscotch Coca-Cola.

Okay, that actually sounds great. Yeah, everything is. It's almost like your ideas are de-escalating. I got it though. Butterscotch, right? Uh-huh. It actually sounds good. Butterscotch dead. That would be the flavor. Butterscotch dead. Started at iceberg lettuce.

Baked potato. And a steak. Okay, these are all in kind of the same world. And then wine, which is sort of, but it was delicious. And now butterscotch, which is a nice, delicious flavor. I like to come in hot and I like to leave cold. Just like an ice cold Coca-Cola. There we go. There we go. Well, look, Tam, Tam Pasture.

Who's a ghost. Who works for the, are you receiving checks from the Coca-Cola? I am receiving. Well, my, my parents are receiving checks. I see. They are receiving the cash them. They cash them. They pay back your debt. Yes. My enormous debt. Um, well, they, they're the ones who paid off your forerunner.

I would imagine. Yes. The 4Runner is under their name. Okay. And they do get to drive it on the weekends. Oh, cool. Yes. Where do they go on the weekends? Oh, they go to... Have you ever been to the Smoky Mountains? I don't think so. Where are those? Doesn't sound fun. Yeah. Well, the Smoky Mountains are in the south. All right? They're in Smoky... Slash...

Middle East of the country. Okay. So they drive there on the weekends and come back? From Atlanta. They drive there on the weekends. Yes. Well, they drive there on one weekend. They come back another weekend. So they've got the car for about a week. I'm not interested. All right. We're running out of time. I'm sorry. Look, sometimes I ask questions that lead down just the most boring avenues. I got one more Coke flavor for you. Okay. Coke and lime. Okay.

Okay, that exists. Yeah, that does sound familiar. That exists. Okay. All right. Look, we're running out of time, guys. We only have time for one final... I'm sorry, Reggie, but you know how it is. Oh, I was just talking my language. You did an impression of me. That was crazy. He loves it. He's a ghost. We only have time for one final feature here on the show, and that's a little something called plugs. Oh, yeah. That's right. Sitting on the front porch sipping pink lemonade.

Hop up on my bike and got it made in the shade Cruisin' 'round the neighborhood to let you all know There's a rockin' party and we all have got to go So cool it down, heat it up, pour it out and fill your cup It's Pluggy Plug Day, it's time to plug away It's Pluggy Plug Day, it's time to plug away

We out. Yeah, that was Pluggy Plug Day by Michael Golden. Boy, that was, first of all, Reggie was performing all the instruments. Yeah, most of them, except for drums. Yeah, but that was speaking your language, like pour it out into a cup. Oh my gosh. You were getting very excited during that. I'm pretty thirsty right now and I just might have to crack open a regular Coca-Cola. How's that for a flavor? There's de-escalation.

We're back at zero. Not Coke Zero, of course. Absolutely not. That's weird. Guys, what do we plug in? Reggie, you have obviously 44 more shows with the James Corden show. April 28th, it sounds like, is the final episode. That's the final episode. The final episode. The final episode.

Solid gold!

Are you going to sing to James on like that? Oh, you know, Carson, I should do that. That's a good. Thanks for the reminder. I think I'm going to do that. Good. Now I'm going to do that. Yeah. Okay, good. Yeah. Before I was just going to leave. Now you like sing to him on the desk. Yeah, exactly. Find a really perfect song, too. Yeah, I will probably meet me halfway. Damn. I wish I was your lover. Okay. Or that one. Yeah. Sophie B Hawkins. Oh, yeah. So yeah, Sophie B. That's like women be shopping.

Yeah. She had a name like that. Like Sophie's Bee Hawking. These songs that she sings. Was she? I guess she was like one of those. What do you call those people that have things on their lawn that they sell? Those are called women? Those are called women? Those are called women. Okay. I didn't know that. You have Great Falls, Montana is going to be out in the calendar year or in the fiscal year? It'll be in the, yeah, it'll be soon. Spring. Spring. Spring. Wonderful.

And also the Comedy Bang Bang book you're uploading as well. CBBB. All right. And Oopsie Spider-Man. Spider-Man, Spider-Man. Again. Started out an oopsie spider boy and now I'm getting older. Okay, so. I was having a mirror, boy. Huh?

okay nevermind emotionally oh god um okay we all feel that way sometimes what i would love to plug is uh lufonza airlines because there were two empty first class seats and they very easily could have uh upsold them uh but really it was mia spider and this ghost guy flying out to monaco that's right i i was gonna say there were two empty seats the entire time and those flight attendants and somebody tried somebody said they're empty let me come sit here and the flight attendant said no

Absolutely not. Good for them. Scott Aukerman paid for these seats and so they will remain empty. It's like Bono paying for his hat. Yeah. Yeah. For another seat for his hat is what I meant to say. Obviously he paid for his hat. Listen, I was going to agree hard with you even though I did not understand the reference. You know when Bono paid for his hat? Sure. Sure.

That famous story? It was unbelievable. Unbelievable. So, Lufsan, how do you pronounce it again? Lushvenza? Oh, Lufsanza. Lushvenza. Influenza. Influenza Airlines. No other plugs? No. Okay. And, Tam Pastor, what do you want to plug? I'd like to back up that Influenza Airlines. Friendliest...

Wings in the Sky, and they have a nice plethora of Coca-Cola products on there. Yeah. And then if you also want to check out the new Night Court, someone might have a little part in that. Okay. Oh, the...

And if you want to also keep your eye out for a Geico commercial shot in 2021, it still hasn't aired yet, but someone is still getting a holding fee for it. So, um,

Maybe it'll come out in 2023. We'll see how this all plays out. Okay. What would the, if I were watching the commercial, what would happen in it? What's the plot? It will be an office setting. It will be an office setting. And I don't want to give too much else away. But does Pam maybe fall in love with Jim? Oh,

Could you imagine if that ever happened? Well, I want to plug. Look, we talked about the comedy bang, bang book, um, pre-orders right now. What are you going to plug? Uh,

Oh, yeah. I was going to plug that maybe. I'm not sure, though. I'm too afraid. That's okay. Plug something, Chad. Should I do it? Yeah, this ship is leaking. I'm a coward. No, no, no. Can I do it really, Reggie? Come on. Okay, I will. Yeah, go to comedybangbangworld.com slash book or cbbworld.com slash book. All the pre-order links are up there. And it comes out in April. Very excited about that. And while you're over at CBB World, you can check out all the shows we have.

like CBB Presents. We have Hey Randy with Randy Snuts, that show. We have This Book Changed My Life. We have Who Me with the Batman. We just did an Entree Peneur show that just came out a little while ago. So everyone go check out all of those as well as College Town and ad-free episodes of this as well as all of our archives are there at cbbworld.com. All right, let's close up the old,

Plug bag. Oh my God, Becky, look at her butt. Oh my God, Becky, look at her butt. Oh my God, Becky, look at her butt. Oh my God, Becky, look at my butt. Her butt is poison. Her butt is poison, poison, poison, poison. You never trust a big butt to smile that good.

Okay. That was poison, but remix by Chris Finky. Thank you so much to Chris Finky. If you have, if you want to do a remix of our horrible closing up the plug bag theme that we recorded this year, um, go to cbbworld.com slash plugs. You can get all the stems for that. Um, Reggie, I'd love for you to remix one of these, uh,

I'm going to do this. Yeah, I knew you would. I'm working. It's been taking me a while. I just want to get it right, you know? Yeah, no, it's better than getting it wrong.

Got that right. Hell yeah. Reggie, thank you so much. Always great to have you on the show every week. And thanks for sticking around this week. Always good to see you. My pleasure. And I loved your guests. They're wonderful beings. I mean, wonderful spider, a wonderful ghost. Yeah, totally. Just love you. Really reminds you of the TV show. It really, really does. Things really haven't changed. Thank you so much to Oopsy Spider-Man. Great to see you. And Tam Pastor. Look, keep on haunting.

Is that what people say to ghosts? They do say that. They do say that. I never realized out to pasture. God, how apropos. Oh, yeah. I'm going to put each of your addresses and phone numbers and pictures on a Coca-Cola can. We're shipping it out there. Oh, thank you. Can you have a little missing thing on mine so it's almost like a milk carton in a way? You got it, my friend. All right, wonderful. Oopsie, Spider-Man. One last thing. No! Ow! Ow! No! No!

God, I hate spiders. Come on. Spider-Man. Spider-Man. Now I'm dead. And I'm a ghost too. Hey, welcome to the party, pal. Looks like the pasture has a new companion. All right, great. Here I go.

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