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cover of episode How and Why We Play Social Status Games - Will Storr

How and Why We Play Social Status Games - Will Storr

2022/3/7
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Deep Dive with Ali Abdaal

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Ali Abdaal
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Ali Abdaal: 本期节目探讨了社会地位游戏,即人类行为受追求和获取更多社会地位的驱动。地位是人类生存的根本组成部分,追求地位虽然常被视为负面,但实际上能驱动我们取得更大的成就。在生活中,我们几乎所有行为都与地位游戏相关,我们不必苛求所有行为都具有完全利他的动机,追求地位本身并非完全是坏事。我们天生就关心他人对我们的看法,声称不在乎他人看法的人,往往是在以另一种方式追求地位。了解地位游戏能帮助我们更好地处理生活中的冲突和挫折。 Will Storr: 人类的行为最终都受追求和获取更多社会地位的驱动。大脑是一个讲故事的机器,它将现实改编成一个英雄故事,而我们对地位的追求是潜意识中对“相处融洽并取得成功”的渴望。人类是部落动物,天生渴望融入群体并与群体成员合作,同时也在群体内部竞争地位。地位竞争是人类社会的基本构成,从远古部落到现代社会,其模式一直延续至今。人们的行为在满足基本需求后,更多地是为了寻求认同感和验证。人们对地位的追求并非完全是负面的,它也驱动着我们去做一些更大的事情。不同的人对地位的衡量标准不同,我们参与的并非同一场竞争,而是不同的“地位游戏”。我们参与的是不同的“地位游戏”,每个游戏都有其象征性的地位象征。地位是激励人们成为有价值的人的奖励机制,它既能促使人们变得有德行,也能促使人们取得成功。人们可以通过两种方式为部落创造价值:一是具有美德,二是取得成功。地位追求既可以是负面的,也可以是推动人类进步的积极力量。地位如同社会营养素,缺乏地位会让人身心不适。被剥夺地位,特别是被羞辱,会对身心健康造成严重损害。反复被羞辱的人更容易患上精神疾病,甚至做出极端行为。在职场中,要明白你不是故事的主角,而是要成为帮助他人成为主角的“指引者”。在人际交往中,展现温暖、真诚和能力,能帮助我们更好地获得地位。展现温暖、真诚和能力,能帮助我们获得成功和良好的人际关系。地位越高,健康状况越好,死亡率越低,这与生活方式无关。地位与健康之间的关系可能与社会基因组学有关,地位较低的人更容易出现炎症反应。不同的人对地位的理解和衡量标准不同。不同的人对地位的衡量标准不同,即使是同一物品,在不同社会阶层中也可能具有不同的地位象征意义。儿童对地位的追求始于很小的时候,他们对玩具的争夺就体现了地位竞争。青春期,人们对同龄人对自己的看法更加敏感,地位竞争也更加激烈。美德展示并非虚伪,它是人们获得地位认同的一种方式。美德展示是社会运作的普遍现象,抱怨美德展示本身也是一种美德展示。在职场中遭遇羞辱,应直接与对方沟通,必要时寻求帮助。在网络上虚构拥有大量财产来提升自尊心,并非良策。能力、温暖和真诚是成功的关键。社交媒体本身就是一个巨大的地位游戏,它包含了支配、美德和成功三种地位游戏模式。社交媒体的成瘾性源于其对地位的不确定性奖励机制,类似于老虎机。

Deep Dive

Chapters
Will Storr discusses his journey to understanding the importance of social status, influenced by psychologist Bruce Hood's insights and his own experiences in the publishing industry.

Shownotes Transcript

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Whether we like it or not, our desire for status is a fundamental human motive. You’re the hero in your own story that you live out each day and ultimately it’s the unconscious status game you play that defines who you are. But is our desire for status such a bad thing? Will Storr, author of The Status Game tells us that status is what drives you to be a better person, more confident and more successful. In this episode, expect to learn why status is a fundamental part of the human condition and what you can do to gain more status in the modern world.

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