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cover of episode The Secret To Attracting True Love That Lasts - Dating Expert Matthew Hussey

The Secret To Attracting True Love That Lasts - Dating Expert Matthew Hussey

2022/12/15
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Deep Dive with Ali Abdaal

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Ali Abdaal
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Ali Abdaal: 本期节目探讨了如何突破线上约会的局限,寻找真正持久的关系。约会专家Matthew Hussey分享了他的经验和方法,包括克服搭讪焦虑,理解持久吸引力的构成要素,以及如何吸引并维持超越蜜月期的真爱。他还探讨了男性和女性在约会中面临的不同挑战,以及如何平衡自身优势和弱点。 Matthew Hussey: 从11岁开始阅读自我提升书籍,并将其应用于实践,这为他日后的约会指导生涯奠定了基础。在Tony Robbins的活动中,他将学习到的自我提升知识与令人惊叹的演讲技巧结合起来,从而走上了约会指导的道路。他早期在约会指导中关注的是克服搭讪焦虑和建立更深层次的自信。他开始为女性提供约会建议,因为他发现传统观念中“如果男生不主动,就代表他不感兴趣”的说法并不总是成立,很多优秀的男性缺乏主动搭讪的自信。他提出了“手帕隐喻”,鼓励女性采取主动,巧妙地引导男性主动追求,从而获得更多约会机会。现代版的“手帕隐喻”是寻求小小的帮助,这能打破僵局,并促进进一步的交流。他还提出了“两次接触理论”,建议人们在社交场合进行一些小的互动,从而提高自身的可接近性,并更容易与目标对象建立联系。长久吸引力的四个要素:化学反应、感知价值、感知挑战和连接。其中,感知挑战并非指“难追”,而是指自身价值需要被对方努力争取。一段关系的四个阶段:欣赏、连接、承诺和兼容性。兼容性是长期关系的关键,它关乎生活方式和价值观的契合。在约会中,要重视不同阶段的重要性,不要过度依赖化学反应或连接,而忽略了承诺和兼容性,否则会失去自身价值,并最终导致痛苦。男女在约会中面临不同的挑战,男性往往难以展现脆弱,而女性则可能因为自身成就而感到被排斥。女性在事业成功后可能面临被男性排斥的问题,这与男性传统观念中“男性应该提供”的价值观有关。双方都需要重新审视自身价值观,并找到更平衡的关系模式。人们应该展现自身的多样性,不要只停留在单一的特质上,这样才能吸引更多的人。自身优势可能成为弱点,人们需要避免优势的负面影响。不要过度关注“男性化”和“女性化”能量的标签,而应该展现自身的多样性,平衡不同特质。吸引力一部分是选择,人们可以尝试打破固有模式,探索不同类型的吸引力,并重视长期的稳定和幸福感。长期关系中,需要平衡爱和欲望,并关注伴侣的需求,而不是一味地满足自身的需求。 Matthew Hussey: 在约会中,要重视不同阶段的重要性,不要过度依赖化学反应或连接,而忽略了承诺和兼容性,否则会失去自身价值,并最终导致痛苦。

Deep Dive

Chapters
Matthew Hussey discusses his early interest in self-development and how he transitioned from a shy kid to a world-renowned dating coach, influenced by books and events like Tony Robbins' seminars.

Shownotes Transcript

Now more than ever dating apps seem to be the sole focus of people’s attention as far as finding relationships are concerned. But mostly it’s because it *feels like *there’s no alternative. So how do you actually break through the two dimensional world of online dating (with it’s ghosting, red flags, icks and all) and start attracting real-life long lasting relationships? In this episode I sit down for a conversation with Matthew Hussey, one of the worlds leading dating experts and New York Times Bestselling author who has helped over 10 million people get the love life of their dreams. In the episode we start by discussing how Matthew found himself in the world of dating and relationships before uncovering his formulas for getting over the fear of approaching someone in-person, understanding the components of deep and lasting attraction and attracting true love that lasts well beyond the honeymoon phase. Enjoy!

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(00:00) Intro (01:39) Becoming a dating coach (05:51) Your breakthrough at the Tony Robbins event(13:13) Getting into public speaking (19:59) Stealing like an artist, fears and taking risks (32:31) Rewriting myths about dating & the handkerchief metaphor (40:49) Modern day handkerchiefs (44:33) Two hit theory(53:06) Stages of deep and lasting attraction (01:02:55) The importance of compatibility(01:08:21) Is there a difference between dating advice for men and women?(01:21:55) Your advantages can become your weaknesses (01:34:10) How much is attraction a choice? (01:44:21) Long term relationships & the honeymoon phase

🔗 CONNECT WITH MATTHEW

🎥 YouTube Channel)💻 Website)📸  Instagram)🐦  Twitter)💌 Find Your Dating Solution Here)💪 Discover How To Move On After Heartbreak) 🔗 CONNECT WITH ALI

📚 Download my FREE 100 Books To Live Your Best Life Reading List)🎥 YouTube Channel)💻 Website)📸  Instagram)🐦  Twitter)👥 Linkedin)

Find the show notes and the transcript on the website: https://aliabdaal.com/podcast/)

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