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the birth and reverb of friendship

2025/2/23
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Derek Sivers

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Derek Sivers: 我童年时期的记忆很少,可能因为那时感觉自己像个隐形人,没有人注意到我。直到12岁遇到我的第一个最好的朋友,我的生活才真正开始。我们每天都会聊上好几个小时,分享彼此的想法,比较彼此的经历和感受。我内在的潜能可能在那之前就已经存在了,但与朋友的互动让它发芽生长。这就是这棵树开始生长的时候。构思与诞生。如果一棵树倒了,而没有人听到,它是否发出了声音? 与朋友的互动如同回声,互相印证,而误解则会影响自我认知。当你的想法被别人认可并反馈回来时,这就像回声,是一种肯定。被误解是很令人困惑的。一棵树倒了,回声却像鸭子的叫声。有人似乎听到了你的声音,但却总是误解。这会扰乱你的身份认同。我实际上是一只鸭子吗?我最近认识一个人,她会倾听,但却从不回应。想法进去了,却从未出来。 我爱她,但在她身边却感到孤独。我很感激那些能与我一起玩“抛接球”游戏的朋友们,我们互相抛接想法,互相回应,共同成长,彼此之间可见,彼此相连。

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Hi, I'm Derek Sivers, and this is the birth and reverb of friendship. Imagine you're a ghost. You drift through the world, but nobody sees you. You're disconnected. Then one day, after years of being invisible, someone sees you. You get to know each other and become friends. Through that one connection, your life begins. I have few memories of childhood, maybe because it felt like nobody saw me.

My life began at age 12 when I met my first best friend. We talked hours a day for years, sharing all of our thoughts, comparing experiences and emotions. The seed of who I am might have been there before, but the interaction with a friend made it sprout. That's when this tree began. Conception versus birth. If a tree falls and no one hears it, did it make a sound?

When your thoughts are acknowledged and reflected back through another, it's like reverb. It's validation. It's confusing to be misacknowledged. A tree falls and the reverb comes back as a duck quack. Someone seems to hear you but always misunderstands. It screws with your identity. Am I actually a duck? I recently knew someone that would listen but never respond. Thoughts went in but never came out.

i loved her but was lonely around her i'm so thankful for dear friends that play catch with me tossing thoughts back and forth mutual reverb growing our sprouts demonstrably seen and connected