Luke MacFarlane — on fixing broken things and being ‘dada’ to Tess
54:44 Share

So I'm here in London, knee-deep in rehearsals for Here We Are at the National Theatre, the late, great Stephen Sondheim's final musical. And it's been an incredible experience so far, but between the long days of learning lyrics and blocking scenes, I've come to appreciate a good system that makes everything run smoothly, like Airbnb's co-hosting feature.

Now, if you're a host and you're juggling life like I am right now, a local co-host can handle the details while you focus on your big projects. They can manage guest communication, check-ins, and everything in between. So whether you're hosting while traveling or simply need some help, you can rest easy knowing someone reliable is looking after your place. And the best part? These co-hosts are local pros who know your area inside and out, ensuring your guests have an unforgettable stay, and you can focus on what matters most.

So whether you're looking to host or need a hand while you're away, find a co-host at Airbnb.com slash host.

So

So I gave Huggy's Snug and Dry a try, and honestly, I was shocked. They were unbelievably soft. Like, wait, is this a diaper or a cashmere throw kind of soft? And let's be real, listen, Beckett has standards. If something's even remotely itchy, it's coming off. But these? He didn't even try and tug at them.

Experience the unexpected softness and up to 100% leak protection of Huggies Snug and Dry Diapers. So even if your toddler is running a diaper-only fashion show through your living room, you know they're comfy and covered. More parents choose the new Huggies Snug and Dry Softness versus the leading premium diaper. Huggies, we got you, baby. Hi, it's Jesse. ♪

Today on the show, you know him from queer rom-com bros, the leading man on countless Hallmark classics, and now as the host of Hallmark Plus' home renovation show, Home is Where the Heart Is. It's Luke McFarlane. I've known you so long that we used to exchange VHS tapes. That's right. That's right. Back when people used to exchange tapes. That's right. That's right. Yeah, yeah.

We don't have to say anything more about that. Nope, we just exchange VHS tapes and you can draw your own conclusions. Yes, we can. This is Dinners on Me, and I'm your host, Jesse Tyler Ferguson. ♪

I have made a lot of friends being in this business, but few friendships go as far back and as deep as the one I have with Luke McFarlane. We met in, I want to say 2003. We were fresh-faced 20-somethings cast together in Christopher Shin's play, Where Do We Live at the Vineyard Theater?

We were in a new play, in a new city, with new dreams, and Luke and I were all in. We were sharing a tiny dressing room and big hopes for the future.

And soon after the play, Luke moved to Los Angeles for a TV job. But whatever bond we built under off-Broadway stage lights stuck. When I eventually made my way back west, Luke was one of the first people I called. I'm pretty sure that my first meal in Los Angeles was with him at El Compadre, no less, the same spot where I later recorded a Dinner's on Me episode with Nolan Gould, Full Circle Moment, anyone?

Luke's career has soared in the most incredible ways, but what's meant the most is watching him grow not just as an artist, but as a human and now as a dad. A few months ago, we grabbed breakfast with our kids. Once upon a time, we'd meet for beers after a curtain call of the show and talk about the cute guy in the front row. Now we're meeting and talking about picky eaters and pediatricians. His

His daughter Tess is just a few months younger than my son Sully, and seeing them play while we sip coffee feels like a beautiful, chaotic continuation of a friendship that's grown up right alongside us. Luke isn't just a great actor. He's basically a handsome Canadian Swiss Army knife.

The man renovated his own house, which he now shares with his partner, Hig, and their adorable daughter, Tess. And, oh, oh, and when my son Beckett was born, Luke built his crib, like, with tools from wood.

My younger son Sullivan's now sleeping in it, so it's officially become a family heirloom. Thanks, Uncle Luke. I've been saying for years that he needs a show about woodworking and giving back. So, no, I can't take credit for his new show, Home is Where the Heart Is, but I can say I saw it coming. I'm just so proud to see him building something beautiful, as always. Hi. Hi, good to see you. Good to see you.

I brought Luke to Kazan in Beverly Hills, a Michelin-guide gym founded by noodle aficionado Ryu Isobe. It just so happened to have been one of those rare, moody, rainy days in Los Angeles. Yes, they do happen here. And there's honestly no better excuse to dive into a warm bowl of ramen.

Known for his devotion to handcrafted noodles and meticulously balanced broths, Asobe has turned Kazan into a sanctuary for ramen lovers. Each bowl of ramen at Kazan is a little masterpiece, anchored by their house-made noodles. But as good as the ramen was, the real soul warmer was catching up with Luke. Listen, we've been friends for about 20 years now, and I love any excuse to spend time with him. Okay, let's get to the conversation.

Last time we had dinner together, do you remember? Yeah, we went to Benihana. Went to Benihana. And was it relaxing? Well, I feel like I needed to communicate. You know, it's a Saturday, you're busy with a kid. And like Justin sent me a text. He's like, meet us out for dinner. I was like, yeah, yeah. I didn't read the text until I pulled up and I was like, it's Benihana. I'm bringing an 18-month-old to Benihana. But it was just a complete... No, it's perfect. Tested great.

Yeah, she's a lot. There's like a very hot, dangerous thing happening. Yeah, I mean, we're sitting around a literal stove. Yes. Yeah. By the way, because I didn't read the text that said, we're going to Benihana.

Justin had written, it's very theatrical. So in my head, I was like, oh, we're going to like a Rainforest Cafe type place. So, yeah. You did see on the text about today that this is a podcast that we're recording, right? Oh, yes. Okay, good. Absolutely. No, I missed that part. I thought it was just a big lunch with you. Why are there microphones here?

I totally missed that part. Oh, and why are these people here? Oh, my God. I'm so happy we're finally doing this. Yeah, really. Thank you for having me. I'm excited. Look at this photo I found of the two of us. I was just looking up pictures of us. It's going to make me nervous. No, you're going to love this. No, it's so funny. Look at this. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. God.

Oh, my. 2025. That's actually a really sweet picture. It's a really sweet picture. I'll send it to you. You have to send that to me. I've known you so long that we used to exchange VHS tapes. That's right. That's right. Back when people used to exchange VHS tapes. That's right. That's right. Yeah, yeah. We don't have to say anything more about that.

Nope, we just exchanged VHS tapes and you can draw your own conclusions. Yes, we did. No, I was just, yeah, it's been 20, I was looking, where do we live, which is a play we met on. Yes. So it's been, this is our 21st year knowing one another.

Wow. I know. It's also crazy because that seems like yesterday, like that first rehearsal. I have such vivid memories of that rehearsal process. Yeah, me too. Going through it. Also, I think there's something about those like early experiences where you really do fuse and bond together in a different kind of way. Absolutely. Hi. Come on in. Hi, guys. Welcome to Kazan. Hi. Thank you. So happy to have you. Thank you.

We've uploaded our menus to our phones. I like to hear what's up. But I do want to hear what some of your specials are. Yeah. So we're known for our noodles. We make them all in-house. That's our specialty. Yeah. So from the entrees, we have soba dishes. Okay.

Those all have chicken broth and we put truffle in them. So it's a more fusion style. I would recommend definitely trying the signature number one. That's our first original dish. So it comes with our homemade thin noodles, truffle chicken broth, and it's topped with chashu that's slow cooked, made in-house.

and also handmade wontons. Beautiful. That sounds incredible. It also looks beautiful. Can we get some of the small things too before? Oh yeah, the appetizers. So the wings are really amazing. I recommend the sake crispy wings.

Also, our salads are awesome. I love the Kazan salad. Can we do some like sharing? Yeah, totally. Tell me about, is this cashew supreme the future of chicken broth? What is this? So that one is a truffle chicken broth with our soy flavor added. It has a little bit of sliced chili and then served with a soft boiled egg and pork chashu.

I really recommend that one as well. It's very similar to the signature. I see, okay. But comes with the egg. Comes with the egg. I see a hard-boiled egg, and I'm always just excited. Yeah, and we also have ramen dishes, which those are more traditional. They have a tonkatsu pork broth, no truffle. I feel like something without truffle, but just to have a different... Yeah, you can always get one of each broth and share as much as you want. Maybe I'll try your signature number one. Okay.

And I'll do the... Do you want to do the ramen? Yeah, the lia? Lia? Lay. Lay, sorry. Lay ramen. And do you want to try the lotus root chips? Yes. I want to try those lotus root chips. Lotus root chips. Okay, great. Done. Okay. Perfect. We'll get that all started for you. Thank you so much. But, um...

That was such a special time. You had just graduated from Juilliard. Correct. I feel like months earlier. Yes. Right out of school and getting a pretty prominent lead role in a high-profile, off-Broadway play at the Vineyard, I'm sure was... Absolutely. That was... Yeah, you're making yourself as a professional actor. But there's also that element of... It was like the first time my family was going to come and see me.

And I remember very clearly my dad coming, you know, you've just gone to Juilliard, you're excited and he watches an intense-- It was a pretty intense play. It was an intense play.

and meaningful and kind of the dialogue was very sort of naturalistic. Well, and also for your first play, first time being on stage, it was asking a lot of you as an actor. And, you know, there was a lot of sex and nudity. Simulated drug use. Yeah. Smoking cigarettes. I remember we did cocaine on stage and we actually snorted powdered milk. Good heavens. And I was like, I don't know.

if that was necessary. I don't think anyone was close enough to actually see the powder go up our nose. But I remember giving myself basically a yeast infection in my nose because I was snorting so much powdered milk. Oh my gosh. My character was the cigarette smoker. So I was like,

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. You had already been smoking cigarettes, right? No. No, I had never smoked in high school. I never smoked. And then I was like, yeah, I got to do this. And I specifically remember like two weeks into like getting into character going like, whoa, cigarettes are very addictive. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It turns out. Yeah. It took me a long time to quit. Well, first of all, what did your parents think about that play when they came to see it? Because I don't think my parents actually saw that one.

Yeah. My dad, I think, was in a little bit of shock in a way that I didn't entirely anticipate. And he was very concerned about my character's behavior. And he asked, he was, because my character in the play, if you remember, has kind of a one night stand with a guy that

It's a little bit transactional. It's not very loving. My dad was really concerned about that character that I had the one-night stand with. So it was a really revealing, I think, aspect of my dad. He's a very caring guy. At this point in your life, you've been out to your parents. Absolutely. I came out in my second year at Juilliard. Came home for Christmas, told Mom and Dad. So they knew, and they knew about the play.

They're always very open and they're always super encouraging of any artistic pursuit. I mean, it's, you know, it was an intense play. And also I know like my family, they went through their own process with me being gay. And, you know, my dad even asked me, you know, while I was doing Modern Families, like, I just don't always understand why you...

I have to play so many gay parts. And it opened up a whole conversation between the two of us and started a whole other level of our relationship because I had to sort of explain to him why it was important for me to play this role because socially I wanted to be able to portray a gay man on television. I felt like it was going to do wonderful things for the marriage equality movement, which it did. But, you know, it was one thing for him to accept me being gay quietly, but it was another thing for me then to be doing that on a major scale

network television show. Yeah. And there are steps of acceptance and yeah,

So I just, I can imagine that for your parents, you know, come to see their kid in his first, you know, professional job. And it's like, there's onstage sex and there's like, you know, it's a lot. Yeah, it is totally. And, you know, it's a generational thing too. There was, I think, similarly to your dad, it was like, I have no problem with it, but it's nobody's business and you don't need to talk about it. Right, right. Which I think was the sort of way, you know, my dad's generation. For sure. And it's also something that I think my parents, I'm sure your parents would have

the same way, you know, their careers didn't beg for us to be so open with ourselves. And, you know, even I'm still learning how to open up in ways like I still, you know, have to keep parts of myself private. But yet, you know, we're expected in this industry to go on talk shows and talk about our personal life and to, you know, expose parts of ourselves for roles. And, you know, it's something that I think from my perspective,

dad specifically was, it's still a hard thing for him to understand. You know, if I go on a talk show and tell a story about the family, it's like, well, why did you have to share that? And, you know, I was like, well, because it's a charming story about my life. And like, I'm just sharing a little bit of myself with people who want to know something about me.

Yeah. And it's tricky. Yeah, it's totally tricky. We have a weird job. It's a very strange job. It's a strange job. Specifically after I did a play with Martha Plimpton, she's like, basically what we do is like go on stage, speak loudly and wear dead people's hair. It's so true. Wear wigs. It's so true. Speak loudly.

Now for a quick break, but don't go away. When we come back, Luke opens up about his life as a new dad, and we hear how his toddler, Tess, prefers to call her dads. Okay, be right back. All right, let's talk about something near and dear to my heart.

Building the perfect sandwich. And yes, yes, I take this very seriously. Step one, you need a great bread. Fresh, crusty, something with character. Step two, Boar's Head Oven Gold Turkey. Always. It's juicy. It's flavorful. It's the backbone of this operation. Step three, a few slices of Boar's Head Smoke Master Ham because I like to mix it up.

It adds a slow-smoked beechwood flavor that makes your taste buds just, you know, do a little dance. Step four, cheese. Sharp cheddar if I'm feeling bold, creamy Swiss if I'm feeling fancy. Step five, a swipe of Dijon, crisp lettuce, thin sliced tomato, and maybe a pickle or two, you know, for drama.

Layer it all up, cut it in half diagonally, obviously, and you got a sandwich that's perfectly crafted thanks to Boar's Head. Every bite tastes like it was made with care because it was. So if you're ready to level up your sandwich game, trust me, start at the deli counter. Discover the craftsmanship behind every bite at your local Boar's Head deli counter. Boar's Head, committed to craft since 1905.

You know, Dinners on Me is all about gathering around a table, good food, great company, and, you know, feeling at home. But let's be honest, it's hard to really relax when you don't feel safe in your own space. And that's why I love Simply Safe. It's the kind of peace of mind that lets you focus on what matters, whether it's catching up over pasta with a friend or just enjoying a quiet night in.

I've been using SimpliSafe for a while now, and it really has changed the way I think about home security. Here's the thing: most systems kick in after a break-in, but SimpliSafe's new ActiveGuard outdoor protection actually helps stop crime before it happens.

Their AI-powered cameras and live monitoring agents detect suspicious activity, and if someone is lurking around, they'll speak to them in real time, shine spotlights, and they can even call the police. I mean, how proactive is that? No contracts, no hidden fees, just real protection. It's no wonder CNET named SimpliSafe the best home security system of 2025.

So if you want to protect your home while you focus on what makes it feel like a home, you know, family, friends, or the perfect roast chicken, SimpliSafe has you covered. Visit simplisafe.com slash jesse to claim 50% off a new system with professional monitoring plan and get your first month free. That's simplisafe.com slash jesse. S-I-M-P-L-I-S-A-F-E dot com slash jesse.

There's no safe like Simply Safe. And we're back with more Dinners on Me. First of all, I'm so grateful that you came into my life when you did because we have remained extremely close. But also, there was a point when you moved to L.A. and I was like, oh, I don't know if I'm going to see you as much. And we did a pretty good job of staying in touch. You know, you got really exciting theater work and film work pretty soon after we did the play together. And...

I was excited for you to move to LA. I was really sad because I was like, you know, it's hard when you're that age to find relationships

that are meaningful and, you know, that feel real. Especially ones in this business. Yeah, exactly. People that are sort of on a similar track. Yeah, you meet a lot of people, but there's not a ton of people like, oh, that's going to be a lifer for me. And, you know, I felt like, oh, Luke is, I feel like a real connection with him. Yeah. And so I was so happy that, you know, after you moved to LA, we were able to maintain a friendship. And then eventually, I was like,

I joined you out here, and you were like the first person that I contacted, and you were taking me out to dinners, and I was meeting your friends. That's how I met Michael Urie for the first time. Really? I didn't know that, actually. Absolutely, yeah. We were just talking about that. Yes, he was just on the podcast. He was a classmate of mine, so I've known Michael a very long time as well. I remember when I first made out there, because you made me a CD.

Did I? Yes, you burned me a CD. And the music we were listening to at that time was like Sufjan Stevens. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, Salad Time. Thank you. This looks gorgeous. Thank you. Thanks so much. I don't know if you remember this, but I was filming Brothers and Sisters when you came and did your network test.

For, and I remember. For Modern Family, for the class. Modern Family. Yeah. I remember coming over to visit your set. And I remember I was right before you went in. That's right, I came to visit the set. Yeah. And you introduced me to Sally Field. It was the first time I met Sally Field. And you're like, my friend just tested for a sitcom. And everyone's like, oh, yeah, it went well. Turns out that went pretty well. 11 years later. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah, that's right. I mean, I know for me, moving out to L.A., having, you know, done only theater. Yeah. I think my feeling about L.A. was always like, oh, it's an inevitability. It's where you have to go eventually. But never convinced myself that I was going to stay. Yeah, me either. You know, I just thought, yeah. But I've really come to love this place. I think there's so many aspects of myself and L.A.

specifically as it comes to building and design and woodworking, that L.A. had become the place where I want to be, and I can explore those things a little more easily than I know I'd be able to do in New York. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But yeah, it took some time. My partner, Hig, is still not convinced that L.A. is where he wants to be. Oh, I get it. I totally agree with Hig. And I'm always, you know...

I was like, patience. LA takes a long time to sort of reveal itself to you. When you first met Hig, you were already in the process of wanting to have a kid. Yeah, it's hard. This is very meta, but I sort of always want to protect Hig in this conversation. Yeah, for sure. I knew I wanted to have a kid for a very, very long time. And when I met Hig, I let him know that. Mm-hmm.

So it kind of moved his timeline forward. But I'll tell you something, when you're getting to know somebody and you let them know pretty clearly right off the bat, this is important to me. It's a pretty quick way of finding out if they're interested in that. And he immediately was family and being a parent was something that he also wanted to do.

The timeline happened probably faster than most people's, you know. I don't know how long you and... I can't remember how long you... I mean, Justin and I would always say he wanted to do five years of being married. Yeah. And we had already been together for three years at that point. So then he wanted to just be married for five years before we even thought about having kids. Right. And it was like after five years. I was like, Justin, remember? Like, we got to start this. I'm getting old. Yeah. And I really wanted to be...

I wanted to be a dad that was young enough to be able to do things with my kids. And I knew I wanted two kids, and so I thought, if we don't start this soon, first of all, I might not get to have two children, but I also just... I might just...

I feel like I've started too late. But, you know, I'm really glad that we did have those five years of just being married. I feel like a lot of things happened in that time for us. Oh my gosh, you guys did amazing things together. Yeah. No, for sure. And, I mean, how has it been watching someone you... Because for me, like, half of the joy of parenthood is watching Justin become a dad and seeing how...

the kids connect with him. How has it been with Hig? Like, with your different styles of parenting? He's going to get upset. He's going to get upset. When I tell this story. We were very sort of like open about like, we're going to let Tess...

figure out who she's going to call Dada and who she's going to call Papa. We didn't kind of make that decision, which in hindsight was we both wanted to be Dada and we didn't want to say. It is the better of the two. And I'm saying that as a Papa. Justin got the better of the two. Well, it was really funny because I didn't want to commit to it. He didn't want to commit to it. She'll tell us, which is really not the way it works. She doesn't even know how to speak. Exactly. She doesn't know how to drink water yet. She started calling me Dada. Okay.

You were so happy. I know. And I was like, well, you know, that's what Des did. And she's calling Hig.

Hig is such a cute name. It's so easy to say. It's fun to say. It's a fun name to say, and that's why. And she says it with so much love. Yeah, of course. It's absolutely adorable. So we're working on Papa Hig. Papa Hig. Which I think is actually adorable. Totally. No, Becca and Sully call me Papa, and now I love it, but at the beginning I was like, I don't know about that. And now Justin's doing the thing where he's calling me Papa, which I'm like, I don't know if I like this wrinkle. Yeah, totally.

But I don't know, but where do we come up with these associations? Like, why is Papa... Yeah, I always think of Papa as kind of like a German, kind of gray-bearded... For sure. Yeah.

You know the story about when I was... I don't know if I've ever told this on the podcast. When I... So, okay. When Sully was about to be born, I realized we needed a second set of diaper genies, new small diapers and all this stuff. So I did a big Target run. And I'm loading up my stuff onto the checkout counter. And the woman who's checking me out, she goes...

oh my goodness, is this your first grandkid? No. And I started crying. Oh, I see. I started crying. I said, why would you assume it's my, it's a grandkid? And she immediately felt terrible. Oh. But it was like the very beginning of her checking me out. So it was like. You had to be with,

I'm so sorry. Oh, my gosh. She's like scanning things. For like literally the next seven minutes, she was just apologizing to me, and I was trying to make her feel better. That's a good scene. I love that.

It is. I really like that scene. It is. It felt like something out of a sitcom or like, you know, Curb Your Enthusiasm or something. And I was just like, I cannot believe it. And I really was upset. And I came home and I told Justin and then he was making me feel bad. He's like, well, you know, I mean, you're wearing a hat and your beard's a little gray right now. Look how brown it is right now, by the way. So brown. Ty. Ty.

Hi. So first up is the signature number one. Okay. Just a reminder, this is the truffle-based chicken broth with soy flavor added. It has our homemade thin noodle, wontons with pork and shrimp inside, and then two slices of cha chow. Okay. Got it. We have one more coming. So I'll bring extra bowls. Okay. Thank you. I was going to say something else funny that's happened when you're talking about HIG being called HIG. HIG.

Justin's mom was over and Justin's dad calls my mother-in-law, honey. Hey, honey. And so Beckett the other day was trying to get grandma's attention. He's like, hey, honey. And just started calling her honey. Which is really cute. You want to top off, honey? He's like pouring coffee at a diner. He's like, honey, can you help me with this Lego? Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's really sweet.

Oh, nice. Thank you. I love a hard-boiled egg. So speaking of... You know, I begin every day with six hard-boiled eggs. Six? Six hard-boiled eggs. I've been doing that for years. That's why your farts are unacceptable.

How do you know that? Because I've been around you and you've had to pass gas. We have our last entree. This is the lay ramen. So it's a spicy pork broth with mixed onions on top, pork chashu, and again our homemade thin noodles. They look delicious. Enjoy!

Now for a quick break, but don't go away. When we come back, we get into Luke's love for craftsmanship and how it even followed him into the labor and delivery room when Tess was being born. And we talk about getting married to men on network television before it was even legal. Okay, be right back.

Some of my favorite episodes of Dinners on Me are episodes that happen over a good glass of wine. Patricia Clarkson, Keri Russell, Margo Martindale, they gave me some of the best stories I have ever heard over a glass of wine. They definitely opened up. I mean, maybe it was the food or, you know, maybe it was the wine. I'm just saying. I don't know.

I always stock up at Total Wine and more. It's my go-to, especially when I'm throwing a little backyard hang. They've got everything, amazing wines, ice-cold beers, even non-alcoholic wines and mocktail mixers for the friends who, you know, aren't drinking. Honestly, my guests think I have the best taste, but don't tell them that it's actually my friend down the street at Total Wine giving me all the tips.

Their guides are so helpful when I'm picking out the perfect bottles for everyone at the table. With the lowest prices for over 30 years, you'll always find what you love and love what you find only at Total Wine and more. Curbside pickup and delivery available in most areas. See TotalWine.com for details. Spirits not sold in Virginia and North Carolina. Drink responsibly. Be 21.

Hey, podcast listeners, have you heard you can listen to your favorite podcasts ad-free? That's good news. With Amazon Music, you have access to the largest catalog of ad-free top podcasts included with your Prime membership. To start listening, download the Amazon Music app for free or go to amazon.com slash ad-free podcasts. That's amazon.com slash ad-free podcasts to catch up on the latest episodes without the ads.

And we're back with more Dinners on Me. I still cannot believe that you made the most beautiful crib for Beckett. And now Sully's sleeping in it. Oh, that makes me really happy. So beautiful. Thank you. You know, you made it obviously before you had Tess. Yes. And I remember you saying, if I ever have a daughter, I might take it back. I was like, absolutely. Absolutely.

And then of course you're like, no, I want to make her a new one. And so you made Tess a new crib. I did. And I just remember...

Tess had arrived and she was in a little bassinet for a while and you were running very behind on this crib. And I was like, at some point you're going to need to create a crib for your child. Yes. There's now a timeline. I was like, do you want your crib back that you made for us? That's very sweet of you. I think it was also like I just wanted to go through that process. But yes, Tess wasn't in her... She was in the bassinet for...

almost six months. She was a big baby. I feel like she was quickly outgrowing that. Yeah. But we got it done. She's very happy in her crib. I remember you telling me that Beckett, when he got a bed finally, that he was sad to leave the crib. He was. That made me very happy that he enjoyed his little cage. In fact, when Sully finally, because in the next six months or so, he's probably going to be out of his crib. Mm-hmm.

Like, I don't know. It's not the type of crib that I can just donate. You give it to somebody else. Give it to somebody else. It's so beautiful. And it has a Shakespeare quote carved into it. Oh, my gosh. It does. That's right. It's gorgeous. It's not like a crib that you can just hand to someone. It has to be someone very special. Give it to somebody. I love that. I have to give it to, like, someone who's, like, going to birth the second coming of Christ. Oh, wow. Yeah.

Mary. Yeah. And, you know, Justin and I had always been saying, Luke, you have to do some sort of a home reno show or a woodworking show. I mean, you also, let me just back up a little bit. I was with you when you...

Went to go look at the house that you now live in. And you were like, you know, wanting friends opinions about this new house you were about to buy. And let me tell you what, it was a shit box. And I was like, I don't understand how you're seeing something in this place. I mean, it had incredible bones. It was just, it is this beautiful craftsman home. And you could see that there was potential for something beautiful there. But I mean, it was under a lot of,

wear and tear and a lot of abuse. I don't know. It felt like it had been through a lot. I remember carpet like glued down to the front patio. I still laugh.

I remember you stepped up onto the front patio and they had this horrible green 1960s carpet glued to it. Glued. And also it was ripped in places so they had duct tape. Yeah, it was like duct taped. That's right. But I remember you looking at me and going, are you going to keep the duct tape? Yeah, yeah, yeah. I still think about that. But I just, I was like, I just saw such a huge project. And obviously that's what you saw too. And you loved that challenge. Yeah.

And what you did to that house. I mean, obviously, you had to bring some people in to help with some specialty stuff. But you really, you did so much of that work. Yeah. I mean, your fingerprints are all over that renovation. And it is such a beautiful home. And I just, knowing that you have this potential and obviously seeing, you know, your love of woodworking sort of,

with these projects. I remember, I think the first thing you made was a rocking chair, right? Yes, yeah. So, you know, Justin and I were like, there has to be something that you do in the renovation space or the woodworking space. And I'm so excited that now that finally exists. I really appreciate that. And I remember specifically the first time you brought it up to me. I remember like Justin saying, you have to do something with this lake. Mm-hmm.

And I think you can relate to this, though, too. Being somebody that also sort of has your side passions with food and cooking, is it sometimes hard as an actor to figure out what that balance is going to be about the things that you do for fun and the things that you do as an actor and how to kind of... For yourself. Yeah, and for yourself and how to balance all that stuff out. And the interesting way that those two things can overlap. I think eventually, once you sort of figure it out, and maybe you have a little bit more understanding about where your career is and...

how you're seen and understood. And maybe just confident about the fact that like, I'm going to be an actor. It's okay. But going back to like the house, ever since I was a kid, I don't know what this says about me. I'm sure something very psychological. But I remember driving home and we used to pass this wreck of a house on my drive home from like grade school as a kid. And I used to say to my mom and dad, that's my dream house. And they were like, what? Oh, wow. And I think it was because it was...

And it needed to be fixed up. And there's something about process I really enjoy. I like seeing my way through a problem. I think sets as an actor are sometimes like that. You know, you show up and you're like, okay, we have two hours. We got five different angles we got to shoot. So it's kind of like seeing your way through a process and a challenge. And I really like doing that.

And the house that I bought in LA was completely that. And I stepped in the first time I saw that house and I was like, oh, I can see my way through this. Like, I know what I need to do. When I first went into the house, I knew that the architect was a prominent architect in Los Angeles. His name was Albert C. Martin. And Albert C. Martin and Associates designed City Hall here in Los Angeles. His son designed the Department of Water and Power. They designed what is now the...

Academy Museum. So it's an architectural firm that is in fact still around. And the original founding member of that architectural firm built my house. And it had been in the same family. So once I kind of did a lot of work, you kind of make an application to the city and they say, all right, don't change too much of it. We want to keep this as a monument to sort of, you know, 115 years ago in Los Angeles. And I'm proud to be sort of the steward of that, for sure. It's really cool. Yeah.

I know you'd already had like such a great relationship with Hallmark. You know, you've done so many, so many films with them. I think it's like 20 films you've done with them now or something. It's been, it's a lot. It might not be 20, but very, very close. I'm going to say 20. By the time this airs, it's going to be 26 probably. No, you've done a lot with them. And I know, I know that's been such a blessing and to have,

you know, they love you. And obviously the films have such a following and people love those. And by the way, I was going to say, I mentioned, I just shot my first Christmas film with the Jonas Brothers in Toronto. And I could, I was like, oh yeah, I see the charm of like,

these sort of Christmas films and you played Santa I played Santa Claus a hot version of Santa Claus of course yeah I mean yes oh yeah but like also do you know how long I had to work my ass off to get the opportunity to play somebody as sacred as Chris Crinkle it was my 17th film at all that's so funny yeah that's great they're fun to make there's like a joy the holiday season I

The first time I did a Hallmark movie, I had no idea. I really didn't really understand the brand. I didn't know them. I remember thinking, what is this script? It's very sweet. And I had no idea that it would just become this relationship that has existed. I'm so grateful to them. And when the idea to produce a home renovation show for their streaming platform, Hallmark Plus, came out, and this producer, Jessica, had this idea. They loved it. And...

I'm really proud that I get to continue my relationship with. In Hollywood, very rarely do you work for the same company for 15 years. Oh, that's very rare. Yeah. And that they've been willing to grow with me through all these different stages of my career. It's very cool. I mean, it's absolutely perfect that you get to do this with them. Yeah.

So tell me about the concept of this show. So Home is Where the Heart Is is a show where people have inherited homes, whether through an aunt, an uncle, a loved one, a mom or dad. Sometimes they've passed away. Sometimes they've just moved to a different place. They pass it on to a relative. So these are homes that belong to somebody else and are now being passed to somebody else. And so the challenge of our show is...

How do you honor the people that were there before while making the space your own? So it's really a show about redefining a space that kind of maybe had different memories at different times for you. And the show is very much a conversation about who these people are and trying to reflect that in design and building. One of the aspects of the show is there's Luke's build is part of everything. So I build something specific because I also think

I kind of wanted to leave everybody with something that I actually really built. So in our first episode, I made a little butcher block table to go in their kind of Victorian style home, which felt like an appropriate sort of thing to have in a Victorian style home. But always tried to do that. And it was very hands on and showing up, you know, 12 hours before the family is supposed to come and looking around and going like, are you kidding me? How are we going to get this done? We have so much done. Like,

Trying to find people to come in to do laboring, you know last minute and also it's really interesting I'm not I'm very hands-on and so like I was like, hey, are you comfortable putting a crown molding up here? The guy will be like, yeah, no problem. No problem. I'll come back and be like, are you kidding me?

I like that was very hard for me to let go of like the quality of the work and the expectation of the work. Right. So always fighting because it's so personal when you're taking someone's home and putting color on the wall and putting up paper and moving furniture and sometimes taking apart old pieces of furniture to repurpose it. Like it's people's stuff and they really care. They're trusting you with that. Yeah. Yeah. And, and,

One of my big takeaways is how grateful people are and how rare it is for someone to say like, hey, we're going to give you a little makeover. People don't have money to spend on a...

a little makeover for the house yeah they were all very very grateful it's such a gift yeah i should also mention the show would not have worked because i'm a woodworker i'm a builder i'm a kind of contractor olivia westbrook is a full-on professional designer and she is an atlanta native we filmed all in atlanta she knew how to find a couch in a pinch she knew how to get a painter she knew how to get a spray guy and

She's a professional designer. That's what she does for a living. And so it's really Olivia and I...

Working very hard to give something that people will feel like is reflective of who they are. Mm-hmm. Yeah. Yeah. One of my favorite shows, it's such comfort TV for me, is Trading Spaces. Oh, yeah. And talk about, like, people going in with big swings and, like, not sure if the homeowners are going to like this. There's a... Oh, yeah. There's one of the clips that's been making the rounds recently of...

The family and the brown pile. Yes. They hate the room so much. She has to leave the room, but her microphone's still on. Yes. And she's just bawling in the other room. And Paige Davis, God bless her, the host of the show. Yeah. She's just like, how do I navigate this situation? I have crying homeowners. In all fairness, in that clip. Yeah.

I mean, the room was horrible. The whole room was awful. Like, I don't know what they were doing. I feel like my dad would design that room. Yeah. Lots of straight lines. Brown six-by-six tile is terrible. I'm going to say, like, 65% of the time, it was not great. No, totally. It's hard, like, to do things well. And I'm pretty particular about things. Like, you can't – I feel like everybody thinks they can just do – there's –

a short-lived HGTV show where it was people trying to sort of do their own renovation projects. Oh, God. And it had this really sad, depressive, like nothing was finished. Everything kind of was like crooked and a little bit wrong. And, you know, because I do believe in craftsmanship. And I will say that was a big challenge of the show, too, is because you're making TV, it's

you know, you never quite have enough time. And Olivia and I were often kind of like, oh boy, like this is going to be very hard to get done quickly. I mean, I'm just going to let people in on, on your eye. Um, this is a little anecdote about Luke. Um, Luke and I, I know you can absolutely tell by if you put a side by side, but we work out at the same gym sometimes. Yes. Um, you're the weights you lift are a tad heavier than mine, but,

there was a little shelf in the gym that was maybe a little crooked or a little wobbly. And you came in, your eye went right to it. The next day you came in with your toolbox. You like fixed it for them. That reminds me of the story actually, when we were waiting at the hospital for Tess to be born and Tess took her time. She took her time. So we were there like five days and one of the nursing stations had those like

from my encounters with the cabinets on it, and one of the cabinets was just like, the door was hanging off. And I just went to the nurse, I was like, you have to let me fix that. I came by the next day with my screwdriver. I realigned all the sort of Euro hinges so that they're close. You just had nervous energy. But it's funny, I'm obsessed with how things are made. I've always been that way.

I have been in stores with you and you're like, you'll get on your hands and knees, crawl under a table and be like, oh, they've dovetailed this. I think the sort of last room to do my house was something I kind of finally did the master bathroom. And it was the first time Hague was really around me while I was, you know, I had built the cabinets and laid the tile and,

And he was like, I've never seen you more crazy. I remember when you were renovating your kitchen and it was just. It was crazy. I was like losing weight. I remember Sally Field saying to me, you're very skinny.

You're very scary. I think I finished a renovation of the house and I was like, yikes, I better take care of myself. Yeah. And I knew that Brothers and Sisters was coming to an end, so I started working out. Right, so you were renovating this house. You bought the house and were renovating it during your entire time on Brothers and Sisters. Correct, yeah. That's interesting. I think I forgot that wrinkle at all. Remember, that show was also, that cast was gigantic. Yeah, it was a big ensemble show. Yeah, no one really worked. I would often have...

Only three days of work a week, you know? Yeah, yeah, yeah. 24 episodes. I mean, sort of the same with Modern Family, I guess. Yeah. Something we share in common, and actually you preceded me in this, is that we both got to get married on network television. Yes, to men. To men. Yeah. And have kids. And have children. Yes, I know. I know.

And, you know, I think for Modern Family, they always talk about how revolutionary it was. I think maybe for a sitcom it was. But, you know, you and Matthew's character got married

Like six years before Cam and Mitch ever did. Is that right? I think so. Well, I remember we got married before Prop A was even in dispute. So it's always funny to think about those things. And I'm still always surprised at the number of people that, you know, remember and come up to you and say how important and meaningful that is. Yeah.

It's often the kids, the kids, the guys, the gay men who are like 10 years younger than me that remember watching the show with their mom when they were probably like 14, 15. Yeah. And they're the ones that that's when the conversation started. That's when like mom was like, maybe my son's gay, you know, but they haven't started to ask the questions of each other. So like,

you know, if good art is the beginning of a conversation, I feel so lucky that I started a lot of conversations or got to be part of starting conversations. It's so meaningful and so great that you could be a part of a show that I think touched so many people's lives and that relationship was in people's living rooms. And I think...

for so many kids, and I hear this, and I certainly think about this with myself, is, you know, I'm glad that I could be a character or even just an actor and a person in life that people can look up to and be aspirational towards and be like, I recognize myself in not only Mitch's, you know, relationship with Cameron, but also, like, Jesse's relationship with Justin. Like, I... You know, that's always extremely meaningful. I feel like it was around... Was it around the Brothers and Sisters timeline that you...

I mean, again, you'd been out to all your friends, but it was the first time you talked about it in the press. So I had the show that brought me to Los Angeles was this, you know, very macho military show. And I never really talked about it in any of the press I did for that show. And I was kind of half in, half out on the set. And I kind of was like, I don't want to ever do that again.

When I first joined the cast of Brothers and Sisters, I was just a guest star. I wasn't supposed to stick around. And then, so they told me at the end of the first season, we'd like to make Scotty a series regular. And then I knew at that moment, I was like, oh, I'm going to have to do press again. And I never really, you know, as a guest star, they don't, you know, you don't really have to do press. And then, so I was like, okay, I'm going to come out. And it was very simple. And it was very simple. And that was a long time ago. It was 18 years ago. It was a very long time. Yeah. I'm always amazed that people...

give a damn because you're really just doing things. I think, or I at least believe this at the time, I really do think I was just trying to do it for my mental health because I had spent five months on a show where I hadn't talked about it and felt afraid. And, uh, I think that affects your work as an actor. I think it affects your personal relationships. So yeah, yeah, it was, it was a different time. And then of course, you know,

The thing that people immediately come out and you have to learn to sort of take this with a grain of salt is like, well, of course he's gay. He didn't have to say it. And you're like, oh, yeah, that's definitely what they said about me. Like, yeah, we know, honey, which is like it doesn't rise to the moment. It doesn't sort of, you know, I mean, Lindsey Graham comes out. Right, right. OK, then I will say, yes, honey, we all know.

But like, you know, you were talking about it being something for your mental health, which I completely relate to. And also, you know, as I'm having these conversations and I'm meeting so many people now who are

queer in the entertainment industry i'm even thinking like in the music industry like chapel ron for example we're just you know it's right out of the gate they're like this is who i am and it seems so much less revolutionary which is i think really exciting and great we grew up in a different time like absolutely i you know i grew up in small town and you know i'm trying to figure out what your identity is and like there was so much like coded signaling for things

There used to be these, like, workout magazines that I was like, oh, these workout magazines are, like, really great. I really like, you know, because I want to work out. Yeah, yeah. And then, like, the older I got, I was like, they were clearly designed for gay people. Yeah, yeah, yeah. To look at, like, hot dudes. Yeah. You know? And I was like, but that was...

That was the generation. It was sort of, it wasn't stated. It was kind of understood. It was signaled, but not discussed. Right. You know? And yeah. They all looked like Fabio a little bit. Absolutely. Well, that was the era of Chippendale too. I got to work with Marlo Thomas. That's another wonderful thing about Hallmark is I got to work with all these wonderful, Cheryl Lee Roth, Marlo Thomas, Gene Smart, you know? So like these wonderful people come to Hallmark.

Anyway, beside the point, when I met Marlo Thomas, who was married to Phil Donahue, I said to Marlo Thomas, this is going to be a very strange story, but Donahue was a big part of my childhood. I remember coming home from school and we were kind of latchkey kids, so we just kind of let ourselves in. And one episode on Donahue, it was the Chippendale Dancers. And there were these like

Chippendale Dancers performing for like the thing and I remember at the end of the episode Donahue looks at the camera and was like I don't know how the ratings are going to be but I think we all had a lot of fun and I remember going like I

I had a lot of fun. That was a lot of fun. And I didn't know it at the time, but I was like, I kind of wanted to be like them. Right. But I sort of wanted to be with them. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Very confusing. But it's all going to the time we lived in where it was signaled but not said. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You know? And I'm glad we're moving past that. People like Chapel Rome can just say it, you know? Absolutely. You have...

had such a great career after coming out. You're just mentioning Platonic, where you're married to Rose Byrne and you're playing these straight parts still, which is great. I'm so thrilled that you are getting opportunity. I feel like so many people are scared about coming out because they feel like those opportunities might go away. How do you feel like the industry is in this moment? Because I don't know how to answer that question. I don't know how to answer that. I really don't.

I think as long as we just keep imagining what it is we want for ourselves, we'll get it because we're actors. I think if we just keep focusing on the work, like there will always be opportunities. We just have to keep delivering. You know, we just have to keep being good. That is the assignment, I think. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, and, you know, you also had such a great opportunity to be a part of

you know, a major motion picture playing a gay part with bros. Yeah. You know, that Billy Eichner sort of tailored that role to you. Yeah. I know I spoke to you a lot about that because you knew that you were going to do that. And then the pandemic happened. Yeah. And then it was like, you know, delayed and you weren't sure if you were ever going to come back. And it was this thing that you desperately wanted to do for so long. So when it finally was happening, I was just so happy that you were actually getting to do it. You know, when you look at the checklist of a career, like I'm sure you said to yourself, like, I want to be on Broadway. Okay, I want to do a straight play on Broadway. Yeah.

Okay, I want to be a series regular on a television show. And so one of those things on the list for me was, like, I really want to be the lead of a feature film. Yeah. So, like, that was a huge part of it, too. I was like, I really want to be the lead of a feature film. And a rom-com. And a rom-com. You know? Which I had, like, weird... Who would have thought that, like, Hallmark would have led me to feature film rom-com? Right. You know? But I certainly learned a lot from the Hallmark rom-com world. Yeah. I am so grateful to Hallmark. Like, truly, like...

And even going back to this question of, like, being out, like, Hallmark's embraced that. Yeah. You know, we really can't make the jokes about Hallmark being sort of not aware of, like, the time they live in. They're very, like, I play gay characters for Hallmark now. Yeah. So. Yeah. Yeah. Well, it is such a testament to, like, people are willing to. Yeah. Yeah.

get lost in fantasy and like actors are able to play different types of parts and like yeah maybe we're all overthinking things a bit too much I think so you know I mean as actors now we've certainly talked about this privately like we want the opportunity to do everything absolutely and we don't want to tell people they can't do things just like we don't want to be told we can't do things exactly exactly listen I am so grateful to have you in my life I'm so happy that we have this friendship you truly are one of the people that I'm like I so I

I love you so much and I just, I really consider you to be one of my best friends. And the fact that we're going through fatherhood together is such a joy for me. One of the first meals I was able to take Sully out with me, just to me and him, you joined us with Tess. And I was like, I cannot believe we're just here with our kids, like chilling at a restaurant.

In Larchmont. I'm so happy we're doing this together. And thank you so much for doing this and coming on. I cannot wait to see the renovation show. I knew it was going to happen. It was just a matter of time. Well, thank you. No, Jesse, the exact same to you as well. I don't have a ton of really super close actor friends, too. So it's really nice to know somebody for a long time because we get to talk about...

The biz. Get to talk about the biz in a way that like someone who really, you know, have some similar experiences. So I really appreciate you. You're very valuable to me. You're valuable to me. Is that where you find this? Try that again. You're valuable to me. That's why dinner's on me. Oh. This episode of Dinner's on Me was recorded at Kazan in Beverly Hills.

Next week on Dinners on Me, you know her as the iconic Nina Van Horn in Just Shoot Me, Victoria Chase in Hot in Cleveland, and more recently from Apple TV Plus' Shrinking, it's Wendy Malek. We'll get into Wendy's life living on a ranch in the mountains with her miniature donkey, sharing the screen with Harrison Ford, and the insightful life lessons she learned from Betty White.

And if you don't want to wait until next week to listen, you can download that episode right now by subscribing to Dinners On Me Plus. As a subscriber, not only do you get access to new episodes one week early, you'll also be able to listen completely ad-free. Just click Try Free at the top of the Dinners On Me show page on Apple Podcasts to start your free trial today.

I'm Jesse Tyler Ferguson. Join me next week.

All right, let's talk about something near and dear to my heart. Building the perfect sandwich. And yes, yes, I take this very seriously. Step one, you need a great bread. Fresh, crusty, something with character. Step two, Boar's Head Oven Gold Turkey. Always. It's juicy. It's flavorful. It's the backbone of this operation. Step three, a few slices of Boar's Head Smoke Master Ham because I like to mix it up.

It adds a slow-smoked beechwood flavor that makes your taste buds just, you know, do a little dance. Step four, cheese. Sharp cheddar if I'm feeling bold, creamy Swiss if I'm feeling fancy. Step five, a swipe of Dijon, crisp lettuce, thin sliced tomato, and maybe a pickle or two, you know, for drama.

Layer it all up, cut it in half diagonally, obviously, and you got a sandwich that's perfectly crafted thanks to Boar's Head. Every bite tastes like it was made with care because it was. So if you're ready to level up your sandwich game, trust me, start at the deli counter. Discover the craftsmanship behind every bite at your local Boar's Head deli counter. Boar's Head, committed to craft since 1905.