Can People Really Change?
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Thanks for listening to my call of the day podcast. You can hear my live radio program Monday through Friday from 2 to 5 p.m. Eastern Time on Sirius XM Triumph 111. Pamela, welcome to the program.

Thanks, Dr. Laura. Thanks for taking my call. My pleasure. What's happening? The reason I'm calling, I was married for 32 years, got divorced, and decided to turn myself out there into the online dating pool world. Met a gentleman, and we had a connection, started to date.

And as we were getting serious, I began asking him questions like, did you ever cheat on your wife? Things of that nature. Anyway, initially he told me no, but as I kind of thought he was not telling me the truth. And as we continued to date and I pressed for this question again, he said eventually, yes, he did wind up cheating on his wife.

And he told me the circumstances, you know, he was in a long-term marriage like myself, his wife wouldn't give him sex, blah, blah, blah. And, you know, eventually this affair happened for a short time. And then there was another incident where he owns a tree business and there was a woman working for him, which I thought was odd, a woman working in a tree business, which is

kind of like guys work. And here this woman was somebody that he had dated while he was when he first got divorced, but she still worked for him. And at that point, I broke up with him and I said, look, you've already cheated on your wife. You're employing somebody that you were in a relationship with. This is not for me. Broke up. He'd call me back. We'd get back together. Broke up, get back together.

And this last time I just said, you need to leave me alone. I don't understand. He called and said, what to you that made you go back several times? What did he say to convince you that was a good idea? That that is not who he is now. And I said, past behavior is an indicator of future behavior. And he said, I've learned my lesson. It was a very hard lesson. Okay, that was the first time.

Then why did you break up with him after he said, that's not me anymore, and you went back with him? Why did you break up with him again? Heather is a nurse practitioner from UnitedHealthcare. We meet patients wherever they live. During a house call, she found Jack had an issue. Jack's blood pressure was dangerously high. It was 217 over 110. So they got Jack to the hospital and got him the help he needed. He had had a stent placed in his heart, preventing a massive heart attack.

If it wasn't for my guardian angel, I wouldn't be here. Hear more stories like Jack's at UnitedHealthcare.com. Benefits, features, and or devices vary by plan, area, limitation, and exclusions apply.

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I'm going to call it my intuition. My gut was saying there's something wrong with this guy. And he would verbally tell me that my intuition was wrong. Okay. Then he called you up again. And what did he use that time to convince you to see him again? Actually, his brother-in-law passed away and he sent me his brother-in-law's obituary and said, I need to see you. And I think that was number four.

And number five, he sent me this. It was a ship with. I don't understand. You would go back and then you would break up again. Why? Yep. Why? Why break up? Because I feel because the things I know about him, I think are potential for.

If he cheated on his wife, what would stop him from cheating on me? If he's employed with this woman that he was in a relationship with, the chances of them interacting with each other and something happening again, I think is high. Okay, Pamela, I don't agree with you on either count. Because if I did, I wouldn't do this show. I'd leave now and go ride a bicycle. If people couldn't or wouldn't change, there's no point for me to be on the air. Okay. So...

So you don't think people's past behavior is a future, is an indicator of future? I believe when people wish to change, they do. Or there'd be no point for me to talk to anybody and help them. Yeah. Oh, you're right. People turn to religion and say they're now found. There are all sorts of things people change because they want a better, different life, more quality. Some people actually go to jail. It's not typical, but they'll come out of jail happy.

having learned something and wanting to do and be something better. People change if they're motivated. I don't know why he keeps coming back to you. You were a pain in the butt. I know. Let's be fair. You're so damn right. Well, yeah. Maybe you can change that and not be a pain in the butt anymore.

- See there? - Then people wouldn't call you. - Always new people being born.

And I appreciate your call. I'm Dr. Laura Schlesinger. My number 1-800-375-2872. You're just a click away from some terrific deals being offered by companies that get the Dr. Laura stamp of approval. Visit drlaura.com. Click on sponsors to take advantage of the special discounts available to Dr. Laura listeners like you.