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You can find Skechers at Skechers.com slash Dr. Laura or Skechers.com. Use the promo code Dr. Laura. Valid for 20% off site-wide. Standard exclusions apply. Valid March 5th through May 30th, 2025. Thanks for listening to my Call of the Day podcast. You can hear my live radio program Monday through Friday from 2 to 5 p.m. Eastern Time on Sirius XM Triumph 111. Philip, welcome to the program.
Hi, thank you for having me, Dr. Laura. Hi, how can I help? So at the beginning, you mentioned being stuck, moving on by fear. And I think that's one of the issues I was hoping you could elucidate for me. So I'm 39 and I still rent and don't really feel comfortable.
complete in my life. I've had some tumultuous relationships up and down, and I'm currently single with my little dog here at home. And I came into some money when my mom passed a few years ago, so I could be purchasing a house and
maturing and taking that next step. But I just feel stunted and like my mindset still feels like an 18-year-old kid and I'm almost, I am middle-aged. What do you do for a living? I work in retail. I've been with the same company for about 20 years at Costco. And are you satisfied with that?
I think I'm lying to myself because I'm doing a peon job and I think I'm destined for better, but at the same time, responsibility sometimes irks me and I get a little bit caught up in taking on too much. I had a supervisor role and I got demoted and
And then I kind of just took the worst of the worst, working in the freezer and pushing carts. And I've just been doing that for about five years now. Tell me about this thing you just said a moment ago about responsibility. You're not crazy about it. What does that mean? I guess I'm kind of like, I used to say it like proudly, but now I'm realizing it's a detriment. But I used to be like the pet, like electricity. Like I always choose the path of least resistance. And yeah,
I've always been told I'm resilient, but I keep like putting broom handles in the spokes of my own bicycle. I'm sorry. People have told you you're resilient about what? What have you been resilient about? Oh, just substance abuse and just always bouncing back, like trying to go back to college. And I don't have a degree or anything, but people have always just said like,
Yeah, it seems like you always bounce back and but it's like catching up with me now. So tell me about growing up in your family.
I'm the oldest of three. We're all adopted from Columbia and none of the kids are biologically related and none of us have met any blood relatives, but I had a great upbringing. Both my parents and my dad are still living, but they gave us a great childhood and part of me is struggling with the
the fact that like my dad was in the military for a long time a storied career and then his siblings are all very accomplished and i just push carts and like i feel like i grew up thinking i was destined for better and now i'm just settling i'm sorry destined for better what does that mean what were you destined for
Well, I guess I just thought I would be a doctor or a lawyer or like an architect or like, I don't know. Just so our school was always easy for me. And I, now I'm, I'm struggling with my identity because I know I'm a pretty smart person, but I, I kind of just do a job that most people like, you don't need a degree for and stuff like that. So like, I don't know, but I,
I haven't hit that next milestone. The next milestone is not buying a house. That should be off the table. That will not propel you forward in any way that I can imagine.
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So what are the other, what's plan B? You told me what you were destined for, but you never told me what you really looked forward to.
to doing or being. You never told me that. You just kept using the word destined, and that implies a plan outside of you. I want to know what the plan in you was. It was. Were. When you were a little kid, did you want to be a fireman? You know, when I was really little, I wanted to be a weather girl on television. So I'm just asking you. What?
Well, forget about... See, that's the thing. I was about to... Destiny. I was going to mention that. Like, I've never... I never had a dream as a kid of what I wanted to be outside of... The one thing I can remember is maybe, like, a stuntman. But that's, like, a frivolous thing. Like, I don't know. How is being a stuntman frivolous? These are highly trained athletes who have to stay in tip-top condition and be really good at handling situations.
Who made you think that was frivolous? That requires a lot. Who told you this was frivolous? I think I just thought that it was just a passing whim. And I even changed my own name. I said my name was Rob instead of Phillip. But I never really... It was maybe just like a fleeting one week thing. You changed your name to Rob because why? I have no idea. I mean, this is when I was eight years old. So this is like 30 years ago. Think.
Back. You wanted people to call you Rob. What did that mean to you at the time? Well, maybe because I was born Ricardo, but then I was adopted and within six months I became Phillip and I just never identified with either name or I don't know.
I know you don't like that term either, but I'm not sure. Yeah, I was just going to ask you not to throw that in at the end of your sentences anymore. But thank you. How old were you when you were adopted? An infant, so I don't recall anything at the orphanage or anything like that. Okay. Do you have curiosity or an interest in going to your parents' homeland and tracking down family?
Kind of. And to be honest, like when I was 18, I did go back to Columbia and got a tour of the orphanage and got to meet like mothers that were expecting to give their children up for adoption and got to communicate and express what it felt like to be an adoptee and stuff like that. And I mean, I've always been like closer to my mom. And when she died about four or five years ago, like I,
I think that kind of, at least to me, gave me permission to explore that, even though she was more than willing. I knew everything as much as she knew. But just part of me just felt like it would be like stabbing her in the back if I went to go look for my birth parents. But now that she's gone, like, I feel like I have permission in a sense. So tell me again how you were helpful at the orphanage. Tell me again.
Oh, well, when I went there, I mean, it was really neat because I was the oldest kid. There was about, I don't know, five or six different families from the Eastern Seaboard that all went over and we were all from the same orphanage. And I was the oldest at the time. So I was able to give a new baby over to an expecting family and kind of present that. And
But I also made a fool of myself in the airport because I drank too much the night before. Why? Were you nervous? I wasn't extremely. Why did you drink so much? You were nervous? No, I don't think I was nervous per se. This was coming back from the last day of the trip, coming back to the States. So you were at the orphanage helping people make a connection with their new children and something upset you.
Because you went blotto at the airport. So tell me about the going blotto at the airport. What was the impact of you helping these people with their adopted children? Tell me about that. I don't think I realized how profound it was in the moment. But...
It was just the last night, like, I was old enough to drink in that country, and I went overboard because I didn't really understand how alcohol affected me. But, yeah, I think you're hinting at something. Yes, I am. I did try initially. Yes, I am hinting at something. What do you think I'm hinting at? What's your best guess?
I think I need to get in touch with my roots as best I can, even though there's some red tape and bureaucracy between the two countries. But I think I need to discover where I came from. I would support that. And I don't usually support that. However, I think in your case, yeah. But I had this crazy feeling. And, you know, I trust my crazy feelings. For 50 years, I've been trusting my crazy feelings. And they...
typically are pretty damn good. I think your destiny is that orphanage. You actually were of service to somebody. Sounds like the first time you have been of service to anybody. And my opinion is we don't matter on the face of this planet unless somebody else benefits from us being on the planet.
And it sounds like that was the first and maybe the only time you mattered to anybody. You helped these people. That's your destiny. I think you know it. You're getting emotionally reactive here. I think you know this. You're needed there. You're needed there. The kids and these people need help, and somehow you have a sensitivity to it.
Go back. Go back. Don't buy a house. Go back. Go back and continue being of service. Please. You're needed. You have a special knowledge and a special talent. Yeah. Yeah.
Well, thank you so much. I'm so glad I found you on Sirius because I remember my mom would play you in the car back in Virginia. And it's so great to actually speak with you. Well, let me know what you decide, but I sure hope you go there because you're needed. That's really good advice. And that's a good that's a very good thing. And then maybe even try and get my other two siblings to come along with me. That would be interesting, wouldn't it?
Well, keep in touch. Yes. Keep in touch. Okay. All right. I'm Dr. Laura Schlesinger. My number, 1-800-375-2800.
72. Check out my social media on Facebook and Instagram. I post stories, photos, and videos seven days a week and feature some of what you've sent me to. There's always something interesting going on there. You can find me at facebook.com slash drlaura and instagram.com slash drlauraprogram. Amazon Pharmacy presents Painful Thoughts. 20 more minutes to kill in the pharmacy before my prescription is ready.
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