I Suspect Elder Abuse
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Thanks for listening to my Call of the Day podcast. You can hear my live radio program Monday through Friday from 2 to 5 p.m. Eastern Time on Sirius XM Triumph 111. Grace, Anne, you're the daughter at 57. Grace, you're the mom at 81 and still rocking it. How can I help you both? Hi, I'm the daughter, and thank you very much. You've helped me a lot in my time. Excellent.

My mom has never called the program, and she's – I don't think you've ever listened, right, Mom? A long time ago. A long time ago. So we had an argument recently. We're very close, my mom and I, and she has three daughters. And my two sisters and I felt that my mom was sort of being taken advantage of by a friend. I'm sorry. What kind of a friend do you mean?

What do you mean friend? It's a woman that is in her 30s, or maybe she might be 40. And she has a family, and she calls my mom often when she is, like, sick or not feeling well or needs a ride for the kids, things like that. So we just felt we kind of were at a breaking point, and I sent this woman, this friend of my mom's, a text saying,

And my mom was very upset that I went ahead and sent a text without her knowledge to this woman. Well, that was totally inappropriate of you. I had talked to my mom about it before, though, and she had been very closed off to listening. Okay. Ann, it was totally inappropriate and disrespectful to your mother for you to do that. Okay. That's what we thought you would say. Yeah. Yeah.

She's not 12 years old and stupid. She's 81. If you believe your mother is incompetent, ma'am, if you believe your mom is incompetent to think through things and make decisions, then you have to go to court, demonstrate that, and take over control. In which case, you can send texts anywhere. But if she is of sound mind, then you're...

That was disrespectful. My sisters and I do feel she was putting herself in dangerous situations. As I said, if you believe she is not of sound mind and that she puts herself in dangerous situations, you need to go to court and demonstrate that and take over control.

Okay, and, okay, we're not going to do that because she's of sound mind. Okay, if she's of sound mind, then she can, then you don't have to like her choices. She's 81. She's of sound mind. She can do whatever the hell she wants with her money, her time, her effort. That's hers. If she's of sound mind, it's none of your damn business what all her choices are, whether you don't like them or they worry you. I mean, it's okay to worry. Moms do it all the time.

Okay. That's fine, Mom. Do you want to say anything, Mom? Thank you. You're very welcome. But let me ask you, is this young woman like a daughter to you? What's the story here? Are you talking to me? Yes, Mom. Yes, ma'am. Talking to Mom, Mom, Mom. No, she's not like a daughter to me. I mean, she...

No, she's a friend. She's not a daughter. Well, a friend that's half your age is a little curious. Yeah. No, she, her life is very different than mine. I can't relate to her life in a lot of ways. She, I'm a person of means. I don't have one want in the world and this

This person is not as well off as I am, and I don't quite think it's appropriate to say she borders on poverty, but she does need for material things. In what way do your actual daughters need you?

My actual daughters. They are, I think they're, you know, I'm a blessed person and they are all blessed. We are, and that's why I feel I can give to people that are not as blessed as

So this is kind of a, I don't care if they have beautiful or ugly kids. I hate when people do that. Who cares if they're beautiful? But what occurs to me is that your daughters do need you.

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ended precipitously. I didn't realize the top of the hour. So can you tell me what you two talked about during the break based on what I had said up to that point, please? Thank you.

I think when I sent the text to this person that, by the way, didn't receive it well at all. The recipient of the text, the friend, did not receive it well at all, and I proceeded to get lambasted, and I still do to this day because...

I don't think the person's a good person, so it bothers me that my mom is friends with her. So what we talked about is that I knew all along I probably shouldn't have sent the text, but I had already talked to my mom, and I didn't feel comfortable talking to this person. So that's the bottom line. Okay. Mom, what would you like to say after the break? Yeah, well, I just felt that...

I think she was getting, she didn't, the text

was inappropriate because it didn't match the problem. I think Jessica has a problem. Yeah, I understand her problem, but she picked a poor time to respond because it didn't match. It was like a buildup and it was a straw that broke the camel's back, sort of. The one

Well, this is interesting, the feedback I'm getting, because you're back on the text. Even though I had been walking in another direction, including sibling rivalry, that this young woman is like your youngest daughter, and how you're catering to her, protecting her, supporting her, and you see your other kids, your other daughters, as so confident and competent that you're not needed. That's where I went.

So I'd like the two of you to have that discussion. The text thing I said was inappropriate, period. But your daughter's frustrated because you're not hearing her. And your daughter is going on the notion that this is not good for you. This is basically not good for your relationship with your daughters. But everybody likes to feel needed. And at 81, this is your way of doing it. My number, 1-800-375-2800.

72. Check out my social media on Facebook and Instagram. I post stories, photos, and videos seven days a week and feature some of what you've sent me to. There's always something interesting going on there. You can find me at facebook.com slash drlaura and instagram.com slash drlauraprogram. If your small business is booming and ready to expand, you might say something like, It's the name! B-b-b-b-boo-yah!

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