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Thanks for listening to my call of the day podcast. You can hear my live radio program Monday through Friday from 2 to 5 p.m. Eastern Time on Sirius XM Triumph 111. Tatiana, welcome to the program. Hi, Dr. Laura. How are you doing? Good. How can I help?
I just wanted to get some advice regarding my personal situation in my marriage right now. I recently found out that my husband was having an affair, I guess, for the past four months. And I'm just like in a dilemma. Well, let's back up. How long have you been married? And how, no, no, let's back up. How long have you been married? How old are you guys? And if you have kids, how many, how old?
He's 37. I'm 35. My kids are one and a half and six, and we're approaching four years of marriage, but I guess dating about 10. What made you eventually get married? I mean, we were in love, and it's something we were saving for, and we decided to just go ahead and bless it in the church.
Ah, okay. And tell me about this affair. How did you find out about it? Who is it with? What's going on? So I just kept seeing constant phone calls from his phone, and I came across a text message that was just inappropriate. So when I asked him about it, he wouldn't be honest. He wasn't honest, so I contacted the number, and that's when I found out the truth. So tell me about your conversation with her.
She basically said that it was going on for four months, and he lied and said that he was, I guess, separated or not married, and we were in a marriage. So he basically was lying to her as well. And was she married? Did she have kids? She said she's separated. She does have older kids, but she's – I don't know if she's divorced or separated, but –
And how did the conversation go after that? Did you ask her if they're going to continue? What did you talk about? Tell me. I just left it at that. I was like, thank you for telling me and being honest. And I just left it at that. And then how did you approach your husband to tell him you had talked to his girlfriend?
That's when he was actually honest, when I was able to confront him with the truth and he was honest about it. And then he started to communicate about how he just doesn't want to be married anymore. And I don't know the exact reason why. I don't know if he's going to do things personally or what. Okay, calm it down and tell me a little bit more about what he said. I don't want to be married anymore. I'm sure he said more than that.
I don't like having to do this, the feeling of that. Think. What else did he say? I'm trying to remember exactly his words. You can use different words. Impact confirmed. The Slayer has been activated. Demonic threat level increasing. The power of hell. Covering of all one.
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I think he said, like, he was bored. He was bored, and he's just, like, he thought he wanted this, but he just wants different things. Yeah. You picked a rotten apple, didn't you? I sure did. Do you have an attorney to take care of finances before he gets the drop on you for that? No, not yet. I think you ought to take care of that tomorrow.
I mean, we don't own anything, thank God, together. Right now we just rent. Well, whatever it is, you have two small kids. So get an attorney so you can protect yourself and the little kids. It's terribly sad. Mm-hmm.
Yeah. I mean, I did discuss going to therapy with him, even though if you don't, like, decide to move forward with it, I just want to have that type of closure because I don't want to end things in, like, such a huge manner. Okay, it doesn't give you closure. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. No. No, it won't. But I suggest you protect yourself and the kids right now. Yeah. I mean...
Did you notice he wasn't very emotionally invested in the kids? Is that something you noticed? Well, he's a great dad. No, he's very hands-on with them. Ah, so he wants to get rid of you. What does he want to do with the kids after a divorce? They're very young. They're not going to go back and forth. We're co-parenting. I don't even know. I just got to figure it all out. I think tonight you should say, okay, you want to dump me, but you're a good dad, so how are you going to pull that off?
How are you going to continue to be a good dad if you're not here? These are reasonable questions to ask without being angry. Yeah. Yeah. You're not going to be able to be a hands-on dad if you're not here. Exactly. And they will suffer for that. Like we see it every single day. We see it in their dad every single day. Absolutely, and I think that's the tact you ought to take.
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