Refresher: How can Catalina move past her feelings of jealousy and inadequacy?
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Catalina, welcome to the program. Hi, Dr. Laura. It's so nice to talk to you. I'm such a fan. Thank you. Thank you. Yes, ma'am. So my question is, how do I deal with feelings of sort of jealousy and inadequacy if I haven't achieved a certain amount of success at this age and when I look at my other peers, et cetera? Well, all your peers have different lives. So you're...

you're not being objective at all. Because I bet if I called up three out of five of your so-called peers, they would describe in what way they were jealous of you. And if you think that's not true, I'm willing to take you up on that bet.

Really? Even if they have higher positions than me? Yes. Yes, because they probably look at you as prettier. Your relationship is better. You have hobbies. You seem more laid back. You don't seem frazzled. I'm making up stuff now because I don't know you. But the point is, if all you're looking at is a pinnacles of success, then you're missing the point that people are more than that. And you have peers who are jealous of you. Yes.

You do. And that's so funny that you never even noticed that. Yeah. Let me prove it to you without embarrassing you terribly by getting them on the phone. Name somebody. Give them a fake name. Call them Mary. Tell me about Mary, the one you're jealous of, who's so much more successful. Tell me about her. Mary. Sure. Yes, ma'am. Ever wondered what it was like to develop life-saving medicines before the Internet?

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Marries a principal engineer at Abbott Project Manager. Had a very streamlined career without any bumps in the road, no layoffs, no managerial problems. Okay, good. That's enough. That's pretty good. That's pretty hardcore. If she were talking to me about you, what would she tell me that she envied about you? Wow. I would say that Catalina is...

She's very smart and hardworking in college, maybe earned better grades. What would you say about your life now that she was envious of, is what I meant, not history? I see. I would say that Catalina, she has free time. She's unmarried and doesn't have kids, and she has free time. So this Mary has kids? Yep, Mary has kids. So Mary's ignoring her kids so she can have this hard-ass career.

I don't envy her at all. I disdain her. I can't stand women like that. They nauseate me that they sacrifice their children for their careers. Nauseate me. They actually think that the few minutes they see them. Wait, wait a minute. Wait a minute. Got an email today. Just hang in there. This is going to help you. I got so many good emails today. Just hang in with me. Oh, I should label these. Ah, here it is.

Dear Dr. Laura, I was saddened to hear about the passing of Mary Tyler Moore. As a kid, I watched the Mary Tyler Moore Show and always thought of her as such a strong role model for children. I was reading all the articles about her on the internet and I couldn't help but think of you when I read some of her quotes about being a career mother and juggling the raising of her son. You do know what happened to her son. The following quotes really struck me. This is the quotes. There is no question about it. By the time Richie was five, I had already let him down.

When he needed me the most, I was busier and even more self-concerned than I had been when he was an impressionable infant. If I had to do it all over again, I would not have pursued a career when I had a little boy to care for. My heart breaks when I think of the times missed, times with him." So, she was a beacon of strength for career women back in the 70s? In the end, I think she ended up with a whole lot of regret.

Thank you for your constant reminder to mothers everywhere that you can't get those precious years back with your children once they're gone. They're gone. But my God, you'll have a great career. Last thing you ought to be doing, Catalina, is having any envy of her at all. What about if a kid goes to school and she's working when her kids are going to school and then comes and picks them up? Yeah. Mm-hmm.

With her career, she can't do that. She can't be there at 3. She can't leave the office at 3. You're not telling me the truth. I do see your point. She can't leave the office at 3, and you know it. Yes, ma'am. So watch out what you envy. Because when you're dead, we want to know the quotes about your life and what you think is a success. I didn't abandon and neglect my son for my career, not once. Not once.

I'm very proud of that. I am more proud of that than the awards on my shelf. I like that they're there, but they're very dusty because I don't even bother to clean them off. I am most proud that I didn't abandon and neglect my son for my career. Someday I'll die knowing he came first. No regrets, no guilt, none. Would my career have been different if I had neglected and abandoned him? I don't know and I don't care. I'm happy being where I am, doing what I'm doing. The rest of it doesn't matter to me.

Do I envy anybody? I envy nobody. I learned earlier on in my life, being 70 now, can you believe it? It's such a big number, that everybody's got a complex life. And you can be jealous of one thing. When I was a teenager, there was a teenage girl idol, sort of Disney show, you know, I forget what they called them. And I was so jealous of her. She was beautiful. She had big boobs. She was in movies. And she also got a terrible disease.

that took away everything i realized that day envy nobody everybody's got a lot of different stuff going on in their lives if you're going to envy one thing that's sort of silly because you don't know the rest of the story don't envy anybody else

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