You Picked Her. Stop Picking on Her!
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Thanks for downloading my Call of the Day podcast. You too can participate in my live radio program heard weekdays from 2 to 5 p.m. Eastern Time on Sirius XM Triumph 111. David, welcome to the program. Thank you, Dr. Laura. I have been married to my wife 10 years. We have two young kids.

And the reason for the call, and I've been wanting to call for a while,

is my wife actually introduced me to you, you know, let's say about eight years ago. She's been listening since she was a kid. But I'm trying to figure out if there's something I can be doing different in our marriage to make our marriage a lot more pleasant, enjoyable for the both of us. I feel in my marriage with my wife, she has pretty severe ADD.

I knew it going in, so it wasn't a surprise, obviously, that I am taking on pretty much all the responsibility. Okay, let's go backwards. When you met her and you knew about the severe ADD, rather than just giving it a label, what were the behaviors that got labeled ADD that she had when you were first meeting and dating? What were the behaviors? Not, you know...

A very messy, messy house, unorganized everything, late financial struggles kind of staying on top of, you know, finances and, you know, any level of attention to detail for things that she just doesn't find interesting for herself. Okay. Let me just say this then, and thank you for being so clear and answering the question. Since you knew that going in,

That's why you seem to have more responsibility because you have to. I don't know why you thought that would change. Yeah, I didn't think it would, I guess. But you're wanting it to now. I'm sorry. You're going to have to be the more responsible one. That's not how her brain works.

Is she loving? Is she affectionate? Is she sensual? Is she thoughtful? Is she kind? Is she compassionate? Is she those things?

Yes. The caveat to that is that I can be like you. I can be an asshole because I want the other part that I feel like I stop. You can't have the other part, can't have the other part. And if I said to you, you can only have one of the two parts. Trust me. Take the ones that are kind and loving and warm and sexy. Don't take the organized and all of that because you're going to hire somebody to do that.

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Okay, we've got Katie's project, Dan's bake sale, Emma has a test tomorrow? Uh, sweetie, I'm out of my blood pressure meds. Managing the house while Mama's gone is not easy. But did you know that now, Walmart Pharmacy has prescription delivery straight to your door? Wait, what? Really? Yep, just upload your prescription to the Walmart app and keep doing your thing. We'll bring your groceries and prescriptions all in one bag and straight to your door. Thanks. Dad, when does Mom come back? In 38 hours and 47 minutes. Okay.

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So you have the part that really matters. You will never have the other part. And if you're going to be an asshole about that, then you're going to miss out on all the good stuff. So then how do I stop being an asshole? Because it's affecting my wife and my kids. I just told you how. I just told you how. Appreciate all the warm, mushy stuff. Every time you get irritated that she didn't pay a bill, go, yeah, but...

She hugged me yesterday, and God, that felt good, and I needed it. Like that. Remind yourself of what you're really in the marriage for. It's a marriage, not a business. That helped. That kind of helped. It's a marriage, not a business. And you being an asshole to her and your kids is infinitely worse than her not being organized. She can't really change that. That's how her brain is. You can change being an asshole.

By putting some maturity and compassion and understanding that if you only had one side to choose, you got the better side. Yeah, that's true. So please enjoy the better side in spite of the other. Because we can hire somebody to organize and to clean the house. And hire people to do that. You can't hire somebody to be your wife and the mother of your kids. Oh, okay.

Go home and don't be an asshole anymore. Be a loving, wonderful, warm, fun dad and husband. Go home and do that. Be happier. Making yourself miserable, not your family only. You're making yourself miserable. I mean, listen to you. You sound miserable. Why would you want to be miserable when you have the opportunity to hug and kiss and play and talk and hang out with your family?

Yeah, I don't know. I don't know. I'm making myself miserable. Well, don't. Make a better choice. Take a shower with your wife tonight. Seriously. Seriously. Tonight, a shower together. Will do. That's good medicine. Yeah, that is good medicine, babe. My number, 1-800-375-

2872. I'm appreciative that the kind of men that largely call our show are willing to admit to being assholes when they are being assholes. Okay. 1-800-375-2872. If you like this podcast, be sure to rate it on Apple Podcasts or your favorite place to listen to my podcast. Of course, I'd love if you gave me five stars.

And be sure to share this podcast with a friend on Facebook or your preferred social media platform.

Okay, we've got Katie's projects, Dan's bake sale, Emma has a test tomorrow. Sweetie, I'm out of my blood pressure meds. Managing the house while Mama's gone is not easy. But did you know that now Walmart Pharmacy has prescription delivery straight to your door? Wait, what? Really? Yep, just upload your prescription to the Walmart app and keep doing your thing. We'll bring your groceries and prescriptions all in one bag and straight to your door. Thanks. Dad, when does Mom come back? In 38 hours and 47 minutes. Okay.

Now, your pharmacy comes to you. Welcome to your Walmart. Delivery not available for all prescriptions. Exclusions apply.