Let's go! Welcome back to this episode! Emergency intercom! Um, today we're gonna talk about my big balls.

Balls in my mouth challenge. My big sweaty balls. Balls in my mouth challenge. Hey guys, we're going to start a balls in my mouth challenge. Balls in my ass challenge. Let's make that happen. Let's figure that out. But before we start, we did want to take a moment to... Slash serious. A very real and serious raw moment. Trigger warning because we're about to be real people and some people may not want to see that. It's actually terrifying. The podcast is over. This is the last episode.

but no, I was really, it was really hitting me the other day that the support we're getting so far, even though we're only like fifth episode, it is actually what actually is this, this one's the six, whatever technicalities aside. Um,

Thank you so much. Yeah, it really is just astronomical the amount of support we've gotten on this. It's lovely. I love reading everything about it. It really does touch my heart. And thank you guys so fucking much for watching this and supporting this. Yeah, and like the fact that there's like a little community for it that I'm seeing building is like so sweet. And I literally love stalking through comments. And I know I don't have a Twitter anymore, but I'm a psychopath. And I check to see when people are talking shit about me because I love to hurt my own feelings. Yay!

But surprisingly, there was a lot of sweet comments, especially regarding the podcast, which made me feel very nice and warmed my little heart. And you read a couple to me and I was just like, damn, I feel the love. I am loved. I feel the love. Thank you guys so much. Seriously. The thing is, some of you may never know what it's like to be like...

Like a superstar. But I'm like kind of getting there. Yeah. Like being like really rich and famous. No. So. Like being. Oh no. Us being. Not us being so famous that we don't have central air conditioning. AC. Literally. That works. No. It's just like actually like being famous is really hard. And not enough people talk about it. And it's just like being like the beauty standard. Like. Yeah. Me and Drew talk about this all the time. Like it sucks so bad that like.

we are the reason for your insecurities like and like not to like not yeah like for sure y'all look at us and you're like why don't like i know people look at me and they're like why are like why don't i look like that like she's so like sexy and hot and like honestly and like not to like pit woman against woman but definitely if you put me in a room next to say like rihanna like rihanna might start shaking yeah

Yeah. She's like, Shaggy, because she's scared I'm going to, like, steal from her. Bite her fucking ankles, bro. She's like, what is this gremlin doing in this room? Get, get, get. She pulls out a bottle out of her purse and starts spraying me. It's like a Fenty, like, skincare. Squirt bottle. Some setting spray. Fenty setting spray. But no, seriously, thank you so much. I feel like a little superstar in...

world. Yeah, it feels really, really good. Thank you guys for watching and supporting. Because actually, I'm not lying. The amount of support we've gotten on this has blown every expectation out of the water. It really is fucking awesome. Thank you guys so much. We found our little... And it goes to show, we could gaslight you guys for the rest of your lives because you're emotionally in tune enough with us that we lied to you for four years and you were still here. I mean, lie is fun. We've said it before. We have...

I guess we're not like the worst and most manipulative people ever because we admit that we like to lie. Yeah. So like maybe you're the problem because you stay. Literally gaslighting. Quadruple gaslighting. Like why are you still here? Like we're lying to you. You're the problem. I'm reverting back to being a gaslighting stealing bitch. I am a gas boss. Let's dive in. I'm a gaslighting girl boss. Okay.

A gate boss. I gatekeep and I gaslight. Wait, no, a gate light. I'm a gate light. Gatekeeping gaslighter. Gatekeeping gaslighting girl boss. Yeah. A gaslight boss. Gaslight boss. Lighter fluid. Because you're not a girl, bitch. You're not a girl, bitch. Literally, well, yeah, that whole thing. One day. We'll dive in. We'll dive into that. But...

Me going back to that is me reverting back to my 2016 ways. Because we were talking about how 2016 was such an astronomical year. And it specifically is, like we were talking about, if you were like 17 to 19 in 2016...

It was... It was everything. The, like, vice grip hold 2016 has on society is very rightful. Like, it's very, like... It was actually the best year of all of our lives. No, literally. It genuinely was. Like, the music was fucking awesome. Like, we'll dive into that. The memes were, like...

I think it literally actually changed the meme scape. It re-jumpstarted meme culture. Yeah, and then we went a little too hard and we fell into the meme depression in 2018. And literally the letter E was funny, but we won't fucking talk about that.

It's true. Like there was, there was a moment in time where like literally like memes. Girl, we're back in the meme depression. Yeah. It like collapsed upon itself. And like, there were literally like, they made no fucking sense. Like it made absolutely zero sense. Yeah. That's what those like comps on TikTok now. Like we're back in the meme depression of like, it is like, like dude, those fucking videos are actually like the epitome of just like,

Years and years and years of training us to not have attention spans anymore because like I like can watch a eight second video that literally shows 36 videos in one and understand every reference it's putting into it. Like it's delusional. But yeah, 2016 music.

Didn't it come out in 2016? Probably. Oh, 2016 was the fucking clowns. The clowns terrorizing society. We need to talk about that. Like, actually, what the fuck? People were genuinely, like, people got clown phobia. People had true phobias of going outside and getting killed by a clown. I don't think anyone was killed by a clown in 2016. Not a single person was killed by a clown. And I read something recently that I was like, who?

Like, maybe this is true. I read that there's, like, a conspiracy. Like, oh my fucking God, I'm always bringing up goddamn conspiracies. I'm, like, anti-whatever. Literally, there's a conspiracy that it was a marketing campaign for It that got out of control. And it was, like, you know, like, the Blair Witch Project marketing where it was, like, literally, like, it would be a commercial on the TV and you'd be like...

What the fuck is that real or whatever? Like people were saying it was supposed to be like a marketing campaign for it. But then it just got out of control and they were just like, yeah, we're never going to talk about this. I believe it. I literally I believe it. And if it was if it was like natural marketing that just like happened by itself.

Humans are so funny and stupid. Because literally, it took one motherfucker to see the It post and be like, And start telling people they're gonna die. Yeah, literally just... We got... I had to do it to him. Do it to him meme. It was at 2016? I'm pretty sure that was 2016. Dude, I know that was like peak of that. Because by 2017, if you were doing it to them, you were...

harming the people around you. Like, if you were still pulling that in 2017. Literally, literally. But yeah, like, my, like, playlist from 2016, it's, it's the 2014 Yossification. Like, it's just like some years have a certain kind of Yossification to them a few years down. Yeah. And it's just like, I don't know what it is. Because it really is, 2014. What did they put in the music? What did they put in the music in 2016? I'm trying to think of like what. Crack. Whoa.

through the speakers, they were like rubbing on the speaker so when you would walk into Urban Outfitters and Life of Pablo was playing in there. They put the pussy part of the human in the music in 2016. Put the pussy part of the of the human in the speakers. Ew. I just had like a fucked up like

Visual. Like imagery of like a coochie speaker. Fleshlight speaker. And it like, the bass making it shake. Do you get what I'm saying? We need to patent that. We actually need to make that happen.

No, we don't! I'm gonna- what is he building in there? I'm gonna go build one in my room real quick and like I'll let y'all know I'll be back next episode with the boost. That would be a sleigh, it'd be like a vibrating um, flashlight. Yeah, and you also you get your you get to play your favorite songs. Yeah, while you're doing it. You can play your favorite 2016 anthem going back to back. I'm gonna play the Meek Mill "Drink This" track.

Is that a world tour or your girls tour? Come on. Iconic. It was everything. I literally remember so vividly where I was when those songs dropped on SoundCloud because they were on SoundCloud first. Oh my God, they were. Yeah. And I was like a family party. And I remember I got up from the couch and like shaking, but I thought like blaring in my ear and I was like, and I went to like a bathroom to go like, listen to it.

With audio playing in the background. Yeah, my family like screaming and I'm like, please for two seconds. There's beef going on. There was another bar from that song. It's Twitter finger or Twitter finger. Trigger fingers turn to Twitter fingers. Yes. So insane. Shit.

That actually is probably one of the most iconic Drake lines of all time. There, I said it. And it stands to this day. Yeah, literally, I still see that 14 times a day on my fucking feeds. 14 times a day? I swear to God, maybe 25. And now look at Drake, he's taking little sexy selfies. He's in his Ariana Grande face. He's got his, like, long hoodie on, like... He's in his nervous face. I'm nervous. I'm Drake and I'm nervous. Stop, you can't talk about him because if I meet him, I have to act like I don't know who he is.

Oh, who are you? What's your name? I'm like, what? Wait, what do you do? I'm Drake. Oh, hey. Hey, I'm Drake. Okay. The musician. Like, Drake, the world's biggest... Oh, I don't listen to music. And then we have sex. He's like, oh, she's chill. Like, she's not a fan. Oh, she's cool. What type of music do you listen to? I don't.

I don't even have an iPhone. When I get in a car and the radio is on, I'm too scared and I get out. Music actually scares the fuck out of me. I don't understand. Actually, this isn't gonna work. He's like, "I make music." I'm like, "You make what?" And I just run away. Stupid. But you mentioned Blair Witch and I like know this wasn't necessarily a topic but I need to like mention it. Is... It's sip sip pass. Don't forget that. You're hogging it. Come on.

I'm getting some COVID breath in there. Literally, I'm not... Okay, never mind. I know what you're going to say. I had COVID and there was someone I didn't fuck with in vicinity of me. I just kept on being like... Bio-warfare. Literally bio-warfare. We've had that conversation several times. Do not do that. I'm going to get COVID. I'm going to bag a COVID fart and...

The Kanye air, literally like getting Kanye concert air. And but like, I'm going to cough in a bag. Oh, wait, that was a fucking TikTok. Literally that one girl made that TikTok. Yeah, I think her name is Rookie. Yeah, literally. She got COVID and she had it in a bag. That was honestly, that was the funniest TikTok I had seen up until that point. Like for so long, that shit, literally I would watch it once a day and fucking laugh. I can't think of like a TikTok right now. Actually, just anything with the like crying sound.

Literally anything with that sound is so funny. For me, it's the... He's escaping! The killer's escaping! Dude, I was saying that around Logan and Orion, and they were like, what are you saying? And I was like, oh my god, y'all aren't on the weird side. Y'all aren't chronically online. Ew. But before I forget, you mentioned Blair Witch, and I was thinking about how we were saying we needed to talk about just like...

irrational like child fears. Oh, it's necessarily rational, but child fears. And this sounds so stupid, but I didn't know that the Blair Witch was a movie like the Blair Witch Project was a movie or a thing. And when I was in like elementary school,

No, maybe I was in like fifth, sixth grade. Basically a family friend who they had two years prior in fourth grade scared the fuck out of me with Bloody Mary. They literally served her a Bloody Mary and she got drunk. I got fucked up. She got drunk. Because I was going to make my concoction, but I'll let you finish the Blair Witch first. Basically, they told me the Blair Witch story and I fucking believed her. And bitch, I lived in Miami. There isn't wood there.

a pilot. The Everglades. Yeah literally we would drive past like just like one section of like trees and I'd be like and I believe that she experienced the Blair Witch Project because she literally told me the plot of the movie like it happened to her. I experienced Blair Witch. I'm gonna punch you in the fucking tits. I did. No we actually did go to the forest though. Yeah we did. Like we went to the Blair Witch Forest where it like the myth started. Oh we went there and we had sex. Yeah with the witch. Threesome.

The Blair Witch. The Blair Witchiana. He said, dude, like adding Iana or Ana to things is such a problem. Dude, it's so bad for me right now. Before we recorded, I like, me and Drew were talking about how we should probably start having meals before the podcast because we'll do them earlier in the day with like no food in our stomach and by the end of it, we like stand up and we like fall over and pass away. Like pass away. But,

He was like, I was like, oh, you should eat because I already ate. And I was like, what do you want to do? And he was like, Starbucks. And I was like, oh, okay, you're crazy. You're getting coffee. And he was like, no, I want to. What did you say? I want a bakey on a goodiana and eggiana sandwich. A bacon, egg and cheese. You said something like that. Bacon, egg and goodiana.

Yeah, no, but literally it's actually, I don't know why, but for the past two days, everything I fucking said has ended in Iyana. And I'm about to make my holistic Iyana drink for y'all on podcast. Okay. This is something I don't think we've really talked about. Me and Drew genuinely like, which I don't think is a bad thing. Not at all. It's not at all. I don't believe in like real medicine because I didn't grow up. That's a bad thing. I like, I got my vaccine and all that like stuff, but like,

didn't grow up in the healthcare system. So I'm like, no, it makes sense. I'm like, why would I take a Tylenol when I could drink some chlorophyll? And like, it'll do the same thing. Maybe. No, someone left a comment and they were like, why don't you take like antidepressants? Like, I want to know like your story on that. Um, and one, I literally am like treat resistant, but I take Stamets 7 and Stamets 7 and

- Vitaminerol green. - But that has earth broth in it. - No, this goes good with earth broth.

Dude, we go to air water and we like stand in the, okay, this looks like dirt mud water. No, it's mud water. It's like actual mud water. Yeah. What's in this? Grasses, algae, land vegetables, sea vegetables, and enzymes. No. Which is literally naming nothing. It says absolutely nothing and everything from my brain at the same time. Like I see that and I'm like, oh, like. Oh.

no, no. Thank God. Um, Moringa leaf is in there. Oh, that's good. Actually. No. What, what these do for me is like, if I'm ever, it's all placebo, like in my head, like legitimately it's all placebo. And I'm like, like I took my chlorophyll and stam at seven this morning. So like,

I'm going to feel good. Yeah, I'm going to feel good later. So like as much as it might be bullshit, it's real for me. It's very real for me. I feel that because I literally, I am the sweatiest person in the world. Like that is not a known fact about me, but like I sweat so, you're chugging that mud water right now. I chug it because it's so fucking gross. It literally tastes like, you just have to try it. You just have to try it.

It literally tastes like mud. Like it tastes like mud pies you make as a kid. It's actually not bad. It tastes like roots. It tastes like um... Like bone bone bone marrow. Tastes like toes. Which is good. Let me see. Let me see. You guys see my toes? I'll send you a picture later. I'll like cover them in butter. Please. I also have this vial of beekeepers naturals bee elixir brain fuel with royal jelly.

And it's good for a brain fog, apparently. But I'm not going to take it today because I'm scared of it. I know. We both bought it and I'm like scared of mine for some reason. I forgot what the fuck I was saying because of your mud. I don't remember either. Moving on. Moving on. I need to make it very apparent that I don't fuck with Cheesecake Factory. I just thought that should be there. Cheesecake Factory slander? I don't fuck with... I think the grip...

Cheesecake Factory, like Olive Garden, TGI Fridays and all that shit. And Panera like has on and this is coming from someone who I grew up like poor. The grip it has on like lower class families is actually outrageous and so fucked up because as a kid going there like we didn't go to those places often because it was like it is expensive and

The food isn't fucking good. No one wants to admit the food is not good. Never once have I had a cheesecake meal and been like, holy fuck. That was so good. Literally every time I leave Cheesecake Factory, my stomach feels like it has 13 bricks in it and I literally need to like go...

Like I need to like lay down and bury myself. Yeah, I leave like Cheesecake Factory like sweaty. Yeah. And oily. I'm always, oh, that's what I was talking about is how fucking sweaty I am. Oh. And I'm convinced, I genuinely do think chlorophyll makes me not stink because I'm very sweaty and I stopped taking chlorophyll for a while. And I was like, damn, I smell musty. But it smells good. Like I smell like a middle school boy again. Um, wait, what? Uh, like just like how shitty we feel after, um,

Cheesecake factory. No, did you say my must smelled good? Fine, you have good pheromones. Fine. There, I said it. I love your, your smell. Your, your smell. You are making this awkward. This is your fault. You're gaslighting me. This is your fault. You are not taking my compliment correctly. Um, but yeah, I sweat so fucking much. It is actually so embarrassing. I put on a shirt and instantly, like, I am sweaty. Mm-hmm.

It also doesn't help that it's 8,000 degrees in this house. No, but that's why I was saying, like, that's, but that's, like, superstar lifestyle. That's why I was saying at the beginning of the episode is, like, like, a lot of people think that when you become, like, as rich and famous as us, you, like, get AC, but it's actually, like, the opposite. Yeah, you don't get AC because you're constantly sweating and losing water weight. Yeah, so we're just, like, really skinny. We're constantly dehydrated. Yeah.

My lips are always dry and people are like damn girl put chapstick on I'm like I can't because it will make my whole face humid Like the moisture that my lips will lock in will make like my upper lip sweat and then my little stash that I've been growing out It's so hot

I know. My underboob sweat is like insane. I feel like there was one thing we... Oh, also on top of the cheesecake thing, I think Cheesecake Factory and stuff, that's where the air fryer came from. Literally. Does that make sense? Like they've always cooked their food in an air fryer. They've always had an air fryer and... Okay, air fryers are actually fucking witchcraft. Like I swear to God, they're like... They're magical. I don't get it. They're an oven.

I'm like, okay, that's an oven. But like on your countertop, like literally all you do is just put it in there and you click some fucking buttons and it comes out. I will say on top of our house being a fucking like sauna already, when I had to use the oven, it would literally like blast heat through the kitchen and it would be 90 degrees in here. So that is a plus of the air fryers that you're not like setting your house on fire. I also have a...

part of my like thing, like the same thing that makes me like lock a door eight times and take a picture of the door to make sure it's locked, is the sometimes the oven plays a part into it. Like yesterday when I was like, when we were leaving and I was like, I think the house is gonna blow up. I was not kidding.

I was like, I was so sure. And I came and I jiggled all the knobs to make sure they were off. And I was like, I didn't take a picture of it. So like, it's probably off. Do you think it was because we like deep cleaned and I was like touching all the knobs? No, it's just sometimes like it, like I get an itch in the back of my brain and I'm convinced that like I left it on and the house is going to burn and like Azul's going to die. You should maybe like get that looked at. That doesn't sound healthy. No, my chlorophyll fixes it. You shouldn't be living like that. I'm like, I take chlorophyll. Like it's true. You shouldn't be living like that. No, the door locking thing.

is a problem like it literally everyone always makes fun of me that i can't leave the house on time but it's because i have to like on top of just wash your hands 63 times you i have to be before three times you come back and you're like oh i need to wash my hands because i just locked the door and then you're like oh i need to go pee because if i have to go pee when i'm out like i have to go in the public bathroom and there's germs but it's just like a problem but the public bathroom is good if you've eaten because you have to wash your hands after you eat the

Not me. Not me. Not anybody else. Not before or after. Never. Men don't wash their hands. No, bitch. People don't fucking talk about that. Men do not wash their hands and it is so nasty. Nope. They're like, I didn't have to wipe. I'm like, bitch, you literally had to grab your balls. Literally, my penis, I'm sorry, this is going to be really graphic, but my penis goes in mouths. Like, I don't have to wash my hands after I touch my wiener. Like, I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

You said mouth because it's like are you treating a mouth like a fucking dishwasher for your dick like is that what you're alluding to right now? Just saying it's not dirty

It's not dirty before it goes in something. Mom, don't watch this episode. Mom. You whispering. Mom. That is fucking gross. Men don't wash their balls. They don't wash their hands. I wash my balls and I wash my hands. Occasionally. I wash my hands. Both get an occasionally. I wash my hands. No, they don't. Because the hand soap lasts way too long in our house. I fake wash my hands. I'm going to be honest. I turn on the sink and I make it sound like I'm washing my hands in the middle of the night.

As if your mom's outside like listening. No, literally everybody's done that. I swear to God. I have never done that in my life. I washed my fucking hands.

I'm sure a lot of y'all have noticed we don't have many ads anymore and you're probably thinking, wow, oh my God, I feel so bad for them. They deserve ads. But we're doing our job. You're not doing your job. You need to fucking subscribe and engage with me or I will never do my job again. I like, I can't believe I miss reading ads. I like, I miss the taste.

No, actually. You've never fake washed your hands? No. You know what happens is if I try to do a quick wash, I'll get really insecure and I'll be like, my hands are so fucking dirty. And I'll do like a quick wash and then I'll be like, dry my hands off and try to leave the bathroom. And then the back of my brain is like, if you don't fucking wash your hands right now, you're probably going to die. And I'm like, oh my God. And then I'll turn it. I will like deep wash them. I know there is someone out there watching this that has fake washed their hands along with me. They just, you just turn on the water, you run it.

and then you turn it off and then you leave the room. You don't even get like... No, you don't even get your hands wet because it's annoying because then you have to fucking dry your hands off. There's a towel for your hands. Yeah, but the towel's dirty because it's been washed a hundred times with other hands. No, because the hands that are... Have you ever heard of mold? Have you ever heard of mold?

I'm convinced our house is full of mold constantly. I swear to God, I watched one fucking video about like indoor allergies and mold and people are like, there's

you know, Drew got seasonal allergies and he was like, there's mold in the walls. I was like, girl. Because I've never had allergies in my entire life and then all of the sudden, I come in, I don't have allergies when I'm outside, but then I come inside and immediately I have a sniffy nose and my nose itches. Your fucking room is dusty. When's the last time you washed your sheets? Girl, I don't wash my hands. You think I wash my sheets? No. I,

Don't wash my wiener you think I wash my seats guys. This is all jokes. This is all jokes I need to make that clear. I need to make that very clear. I bet if you brought you know like the rug cleaners that I show on the dirt I would do that on your bed. No I know there's a sweat stain of your body on that sheet Yeah, because I sleep on top of my bed. I sleep on top of the comforter literally I

It's so much easier that way. It's so much easier than getting under the covers and also not to mention It's like hot as fuck under there and you just sleep on top of it with a weighted blanket That's your problem is you're sleeping in a hot room with a weighted blanket.

So, okay, just like a rundown, if you're interested in Drew romantically, here's what you're going to get. He eats Takis, so think about that. Only Takis. He eats Takis. Match made in heaven. Takis, McDonald's, and Popeyes. That's your, like, regular. Veggie grill. But then, to balance it out, okay, veggie grill. Yeah, to balance all that out, you have veggie grill buffalo wings. Yep. And holistic drinks in the morning. So I guess you're getting that in.

Um, I can't remember the last time I saw you put something green in your body. That was like you had to crunch on. Like a, like... I ate celery. From your veggie grill meal? Yeah. Okay, yeah, you get the celery with the ranch. You don't wash your hands. You don't wash your wiener. You don't wash your sheets. You barely wash your hair. Look.

I'm not dirty. I'm not stinky. Yeah, you don't stink. You smell good because you have been rationing out your lava perfume for three years. No, I was about to say. When you're feeling fancy, you give yourself a spray. I was about to say, I don't wash. I don't have to wash my fucking sheets in my comforter because I have room spray that I spray on my bed and it makes it smell good. No, this is all jokes, by the way. I do clean myself.

No, he does take baths. We take baths all the time. Yeah. And it's actually the worst thing that's ever happened is having a roommate who likes to take a bath. Who was taking the baths first and who was called gross for taking baths. Um.

me because or you i'm saying because you were oh i thought of your question wrong i was like who was calling who gross but you were calling me gross but i still think it's kind of gross because i shower before i take my bath which some people i've seen argue it's the opposite way around but why the fuck would i take a nice hot bath and then rinse myself off yeah it makes way more sense your way yeah to shower and then take a bath and

I always imagine people taking a bath and just being dirty as shit and like running a bath and then like getting in it and like sitting in- What's that thing I see in your face? I don't do that. You shower before you get in the bath. Mm-hmm. I've never once heard that happen. I do it every time.

The title of this episode is "Drew is dirty" No, I'm not fucking dirty. No, no, no. You're clean. You are clean. I'm a very clean person. My room is very organized. Yeah, no, you are clean. I just have my little flaws. Like I, like my little, like I don't... Okay, I bought the purple mattress. Whenever I bought the purple mattress, that was the last time I washed my... I'm just a man. I'm just a man. I'm not kidding. I think that was like six months ago.

One more, Drew. I'm like, why is my forehead breaking out? It's because the fucking pillows are literally covered in... And also, it's literally covered in like...

like not only like outside dirt but my fucking grease and a zool like like filth filth like he comes in my room after he uses a litter box and fucking sprinkles litter all over my pillows and he's shedding right now and it's a fucking nightmare i know every time i touch him it's so bad i have to take him to the groomers but he'd be so fucking ugly after you take him to the groomers and i do wash my hands

So now you're- The only re- I swear to God, the only reason I wash my hands is because I know you would make fun of me if I didn't. I swear to God that's the only reason. Good, I like knowing that like my bullying works. Like Mason, I bullied him out of using plastic plates.

That's just like common sense. To use plastic plates? No, to not use plastic plates. Yeah, but I think it's like kind of like a man thing. Like to be like, I don't want to wash the dishes. And it's like, girl, it's literally a plate. The best thing for me is I don't use dishes. Yeah, because you enjoy... I'm literally the only person who utilizes the kitchen. Mm-hmm.

yep josh today being like the worst part about was like staying up so late is there's no food at 4am and i'm like boy just get groceries but i guess what would y'all cook if you could cook if i could if i could learn the kfc secret recipe i would make a kfc famous bowl every day that was the realest because that was so i was about to say that's the realest i've ever been in my life if you

the fucking Krabby Patty formula, basically. You were like, fuck you get my hands on the Krabby Patty formula. Don't lie. The pretty patties looked fucking awesome. Don't lie. Did you know that they weren't real? Did you know that Spongebob actually was like filmed in the bikini box? Did you know that?

Spongebob was practical. It was real. All of that shit was real. I just don't know what camera they filmed on because that shit looked like a cartoon. Like, I don't know how the fuck they did that. No, it was the famous kid's camera off of Amazon. Oh, really? Yeah. That's actually fucking crazy because I literally remember watching that as a kid and was just like, remember, like, I was just like, how the fuck did they make this look like? And especially underwater. And who's the character? Like, who's playing them? Dude.

kidding I literally love watching movies and being like did you know that was practical literally me after Lupin I was like I was like dude I leaned over to Josh in the middle of the movie and I was like Josh like what camp like when was this filmed because this looks so weird I was watching Spacetown and I'm like did you know that that was practical I

Oh, that's a topic. Yeah, I know exactly what you're about to say. Us in a movie theater. If you are sitting in a movie theater and you see these two fucking idiots and their homies pull up, leave. Run. I'm sorry. We're obnoxious. Don't ask for a refund. We're obnoxious. I'm sorry. I will pay for your ticket if you're annoyed by us. But legitimately, we have fun. We have fun watching movies. I'm sorry. We're fucking fun. What are you trying to listen to the movie? We won't...

want us to be heard. I am the movie. That's the problem. We're not like we're not talking. We're not. We're not being like super loud and obnoxious but we are like whispering to each other. Like during Space Jam which the Space Jam slander has to stop now because that movie was not made for you. We only enjoyed it because we literally have like the brain chemistry of like a Coco Mello

Yeah, literally. Like we are the iPad baby. Exactly. That's why we like it. That movie was not made for you. It was not made to be critically acclaimed and I'm tired of everyone treating it that way. Yeah. That movie was fucking awesome and fun to watch and you enjoyed yourself in it and I swear to God if you said you didn't, you're lying to yourself and you need to go to therapy. If only you had that much passion about washing your fucking hands. I wash my hands. I wash my hands. What can I say?

But yeah, Juergen made a good point also. He was like, people are saying that the original is better, which because I have like an older person brain, I'm like, yeah, I agree. But the second one was like funnier to make fun of. But he was like,

both of them are made for fucking kids and you think the space gem the original is like better because you have like Nostalgic kid brain about it and you're like dude that movie was the best thing ever, but it was literally just as Nonsensical and like off the wall also That movie did not need to be two hours that I will say is an hour in Like Kai or someone was like this movie is two hours long and I was like you are fucking lying to me right now

And I looked at my phone and we had already been in there for an hour. Dude, I swear to God, the first 15 minutes of the Space Jam movie, I was so overstimulated. I almost had to fucking walk out. Oh, yeah. Because we also got seats that were really close to the screen. So when...

LeBron originally goes into fucking into fucking cartoon world it was so intense and like our necks were breaking we had to actually like look across the screen and like it was disorienting I felt like the chicken and robot chicken opening it was literally my eyes peeled open it was disorienting um but

I actually had so much fun watching that movie and it's because I was with my friends and we're we just have fun We cheer we're like yeah Like go and we clap and we had the whole theater with us turning up like oh did we? We kept starting clap chance. It's Kai originally when they started winning the basketball game in the middle of the movie spoiler alert Kai just started clapping and then at the end I like

I don't know what part. I just was like... Started like clapping really loud. And then we all started like screaming and clapping. And then that one kid screamed. And literally the random ass woman next to me like mocked him. Yeah. But it was awesome. And the lady next to me while we were watching Space Jam. I am not fucking kidding leaned over. And she was like... The original was fucking better. I fucking hate this one. And she was like...

She called like Michael Jordan, Michael Johnson. Michael Johnson. She was like, Michael Johnson. She was like, Michael Johnson was so much better. And I was like, yeah. And then she's like, I fucking hate this one. And she leaned back up.

over and keep watching yeah that movie was fun and us in a theater I'm sorry we're fun like you can either choose to have fun with us or you can we say that all the fucking time but I'm not kidding anytime I see another group of people enjoying themselves and being fucking obnoxious I want to slap the fuck out of them yeah and every time you're like I want to slap the fuck out of them I'm like girl that's us I know when we were in uh

the like i forgot where we were but there was like a group of kids being like having fun and it literally pissed me off so much i'm like can y'all actually yeah yeah it's just it's good but it's just because like i have like a god complex and i swear i'm like the best person in the world i wish i had a god complex actually i'd be a slave um oh that's a good that's a good transition who do you think has a bigger ego out of the two of us

I don't know because like everybody's definition of all these fucking words is so skewed. So I think my idea of what like having an ego means is kind of fucked up. But I guess having an ego like part of that is like caring what other people think about you. But like in my head again because I'm biased towards myself. I'm like I don't know if that's an ego thing or like.

Post-traumatic like thing where I'm like like no like I like I can't like people can't think I'm bad like all I do in my life is trying to be good like please think I'm good I don't think I mean like kind of ego kind of not like kind of pride kind of not but I out of the two of us I legitimately think I have the biggest ego like

I don't know what would be an indicator for having a big ego. I think I have a lot of pride. So does that fall into ego? Yeah. If someone really does me dirty, I'm like a grudge holder. Yeah. Like...

actually i wouldn't even say that because i've been done dirty and like let bygones be bygones but there's like a scenario to or two where someone crossed the line and you would actually have to shoot me in both you could shoot me in both of my feet and i wouldn't fucking say sorry i'm like i'm standing my ground like this is the hill i am dying i am dying on this hill and is that like is that an ego thing or is that just like pride i think ego a little ego driven yeah yeah

I don't know. It was just a question I was thinking about because I think it would be like a good conversation to open up. But I like to think I don't have an ego and that inherently is being egotistical. Like I read one Alan Watts book and I'm like, I'm enlightened. I'm enlightened. Well, I read a teacher's once and they're like, wow. Other people have feelings. Yeah.

That's exactly so funny. Someone had to think that it was like, I cannot believe a man has to do psychedelics to realize other people have feelings. And then on top of that, gains a God complex. It's like, I am the most enlightened person in the room. Yeah. I don't think that because I genuinely do think I'm butt fuck stupid. And I say this every single episode and I will never let go of it. I am stupid.

But yeah, I think I have an ego for sure. But I think everyone has an ego. Even motherfuckers who are like, I have ego death. I'm like, can you shut the fuck up? Dude, you can't have ego death. You literally can't have ego death because you saying you had ego death is literally your ego speaking. Yeah, because isn't it like, what is like the definition of ego though? Let's look it up. Let's find that out. I don't have my phone on me. Ego versus id. I'm just someone who like doesn't need my phone to like have a good time.

Like, all of y'all, like, people are, like, when I'm out with people, they're always like, oh, my phone's dying. Do you have a charger? And I'm like, no, I don't need a charger on my person because, like, when I'm, like, living, like, I choose to live in the moment. Mm.

and not be on my phone. That's your ego. No, I don't have one. A person's sense... Okay, I can't... This is another thing we need to talk about. I can't read. Like, I actually can't read out loud. When I showed your TikToks before the sound plays, I have to pause it and, like, cover half of what's happening visually so you can read it and then get the joke. Yeah, it's actually a problem. And I don't know... I think it's literally just my...

Like, I have, like, a very slow cadence while I talk and, like, a very, like, monotone, like, voice. And I think, like, my talking, my head voice is also like that. So when I'm reading it, like, my head voice reads too quick. The word for that is you're fucking stupid. A person's sense of self-esteem or self-importance. That's the definition of ego. I'm not fucking stupid. I don't...

It's a person's sense of self-esteem. Oh, then yeah, I have a huge fucking ego because I'm the most insecure dumb fuck ever. And like all I care about is that like my literally I am alive to like please others. I think legitimately us even having a podcast is inherently ego driven. We're like you will sit here and listen to me for a fucking hour.

But like in philosophy, it's like a conscious thinking subject. So like literally your head voice is an ego in philosophy. Oh, yeah. Then I got a big fucking ego because that bitch doesn't shut the fuck up. I can't sit in peace. I live to please people. I'm so insecure and I think everyone fucking hates me, which is also very egotistical because to think that everybody's thinking about me and hating me is like a huge ego thing. Yeah.

I think I've just lived enough life. I've reached my karma potential in my past lives. I was born on the 4th. What the fuck are you talking about? Okay, if you were born on the 1st or the 7th. Are you talking about that stupid fucking TikTok? It pissed me off so much. You pissed me off so much. We were watching, we were screen fucking mirroring TikToks onto the TV and there was this stupid TikTok talking about if your birthday is like

the first through the 12th it's the first through the 7th or the first through the 12th of all things to remember you have reached your karma potential then it's like the 12th like in your past lives you've like you were a great person so you get to live this life out with like no bad karma and then the 12th through like the 20th or something is like you're almost there but you have a little bad karma that you're still um

for from past lives. And then if you are born from like the 21st through the 30th or 31st, you didn't reach your karma potential and you're a bad person. Maybe it is valid because my life fucking sucked balls at the beginning. Yeah, being born on the 4th, like, yeah, I'm just like an enlightened being. I've had like... Oh, so your life was hella easy. Yeah, 100%.

I'm like, I'm not gonna front like you know, right like talking about it actually pissed me off so bad Like I get pissed off at the dumbest shit I just I know exactly like what buttons to press of yours like I'm like a little brother like I like know What would get you mad and for some reason it's really toxic I can just like pick and choose and then like but it's it's like harmless shit. Yeah I'm not like actually trying to hurt your feelings, but it's literally like little brother shit where I'm like, oh

No, we are on some sibling shit. Like I go into your room and I'm so fucking annoying. I go into your room and Drew's sitting on the bed trying to take a nap and I'll sit on my phone and put my volume all the way up and start blasting through TikTok. It's literally so annoying. And see how long it'll take for him to like be like, please turn that off. Shut the hell up. And then I get into this mode where I'm like, I'm not going to address it because if I address it, it becomes real for her as much as it is for me. And then if I address it, like I just, I lose this battle. I win.

We've never spoken about that. I don't know if we have spoken about that publicly, but somebody was talking about like, can you talk about like how to maintain a friendship? Oh yeah. Like this. And I was like thinking about it when I was, uh, I want to save the hay conversation, but the reason I was thinking about it is because I was thinking about how I, because I hadn't met like anybody in high school, um,

Like, it was rare for me to meet someone who, like, I got along with and, like, humor-wise got along with. Literally every person I met who I, like, kind of got along with, I was like, oh, are we supposed to date? Because, like, I'm in love with you, I think. But that was just me finding friends who, like, I got along with. But we fucking... We have fought before. We have had, like... We have had full-blown, like... Like, is this the end? Like, legitimate, like, arguments. Like, shaking in, like, anger. Like, literally just, like... And it was over, like...

Real shit too. Yeah, it was over real shit and like things that like... Yeah, but it was just like every fucking relationship you have in your life. It was literally just a lack of communication. Like neither of us were like speaking our angers or our annoyances and we just like kind of let it fucking fester. And then sure enough, like it boiled over. Yeah, and I think that's like a lot of people like, of course, I do think...

like a lot of people look at our friend group and I think look at a lot of friend groups on the internet and see the romanticization of it. Although like I will admit, I do think our friend group is actually genuinely very sweet and like loving. What you see online is like very real. Yeah. It's not tailored. It's never like a front, but of course within our friend group, like there's always like butting heads because it's like a real, it's, it's like a romantic or like a family relationship. It's like any relationship. It's,

Yeah.

making sure that if you love these people you either communicate that or you are like okay I'm like projecting some sort of weird weird anger onto this person it's like I need to figure my shit out yeah and it's like a me thing um but yeah we like fucking we've argued like fully but we've also just known each other for so long and like once you have a relationship that long of course you're gonna like

there's gonna be moments where you're just like whatever but we've made it past the three oh yeah fully also like working with your friends is like very like no but i don't feel like anyone talks about that on the internet like as much as they should because then people go into like working with your friends as if it's going to be this like glamorous thing but it's actually very it is like a weird thing you have to get over because like of course within business there's like

There is a lot of ego and there is like a lot of pride and especially with like creatives. Yeah, creative differences and like then fucking like an easy example is like frenemies. Like then you get into like the real business and like the nitty gritty of it. And if you're not open with communication and like really saying how you feel and like pushing it. That shit will burn. Yeah. It'll burn before it even fucking starts. It'll boil over. Yeah.

luckily I'm an M-Rod and kind of so is Drew. So yeah, it just kind of works out. Yeah. And we like speak how we feel. We just kind of, we just kind of let it, we let it out. Yeah. No, we, the first, like I'd say like two years, like living together. No, not two years. The first like six months living together. Like, like we were still just like tiptoeing around each other, like sniffing each other's asses, like figuring like, like,

Not like that. Like, just figuring it out. Well, you were sniffing my ass. Yeah, that's just, like, normal, though. Yeah, no, I got used to it. Yeah. But, like, you just, like, figure each other out. And then, like... Then there comes that moment where you're like, oh, like...

You either communicate it or you don't. And we just chose not to communicate it. Yeah, we made the mistake of not. Because also, like, we don't talk about this. We were, like, close, like, when we were younger. But moving in together was kind of crazy. Because we weren't, like, that close. It literally was. I've thought about that several times. Like, when we moved in together, like...

We were homies on tour. Like we, we shared a room every once in a while. But we were not like close like that. It's kind of crazy. But we did also, also we got very fucking lucky in that because I know plenty of like me, you and Josh living together. Like we like live in like pretty good harmony. Cause I've heard of people and like, like whether it be influencers or just like,

anybody who's like friends and moves in with their friends and then they're like oh my god I fucking hate this person yeah we got so lucky that like we are just compatible like roommates let alone like homies like it's just like

we had that conversation at veggie girl the other day where it was like dude like we were when we all joined the internet we were all kind of looking for the same thing and i don't think it was coincidence that we all found each other because like yeah we were always like almost dancing around each other and like these kind of social settings we were all interested in the same shit and i think it we just are a very rare case where like it does work out yeah but

But also, like... Don't let that scare you from, like, pursuing these things. Because you've got to make your fucking mistakes. I know, yeah. And don't, like, be shocked if you meet people. Because this, like, core friend group is, like...

had many interactions outside of this and many relationships growing up where like it didn't work out or it naturally faded out I think that's also something that like scares people about like friendships is the idea that this may fade out but I think with any relationship whether it be like platonic or romantic although like very like sad in idea um

Um, people are genuinely made, like not made for it, but these were a lot of relationships are made to like come in, teach you something, whether it be about your boundaries or what, like you love about life or teach you even about what you hate about music genre. Like whether it be that small, it's like these things are like ebbing and flowing through you. Yeah.

to teach you something so we're all just all one energy source just like becoming one together yeah like if you just go outside like with like your toes in the grass and like feel the grass a little bit and ground yourself like you may get lucky and find what me and drew have real shit platonic you're my you're my twin flame is it twin flame like toxic or is what's the toxic one i know there's one that's like or is none of them toxic and i'm just toxic

I think you're just toxic. I am a little toxic. Yeah, but me and Inyo, we have our little scuffles. We haven't had a scuffle in quite a while. Do you know? Because we fucking communicate now. That's so important. Growing up, I was like, girl, communicating is lame as shit. I'm literally going to close off and not speak to anybody of my feelings. But...

And you opened me up. She fucking bent me over and just like opened me. Yeah, I spread them cheeks. I got in there. If ass was not meant to be eaten, why is it cut in half already? How are you poor with a throat? I saw that on the Pontius Fantasy World.

Thrusy! Yes, the Thrusy debate. Okay, so we had the bussy debate, but the Thrusy debate. I think Thrusy is like genderless. That is genderless. Anybody can have a Thrusy. You got a Thrusy, I got a Thrusy. We all got Thrusys here. Everybody gets a Thrusy. There were... I saw some discourse about it in the comments. There were some people who were like, leave it alone.

Bussy is for gay men. Not some people, most people. No, there was one comment that got quite a lot of attention that was saying that everybody gets a bussy except straight men. Except straight cis men. But you know what? I'll let go of the bussy thing. Again, that's just my ego and I want to win. And I'll accept that I lost and Drew...

When's the bussy debate? But the thrussy debate where it's not even a debate because we both agree everybody has a thrussy. Next week, we're going to be debating da bussy. Literally, what is wrong with you? No, I'm not kidding. Notice how when da bussy got popular, da baby got da canceled. No, I was going to say, I'm not kidding. I don't say everything that comes to my brain because if I did...

y'all would be afraid of me. Y'all would be genuinely terrified of my intrusive thoughts. Like, bitch, if I said everything that came into my brain, mm-mm. Yeah, my, I have the problem where I do say everything that, like, comes into my brain, and I was like, mm, but, like, a lot of it, not, I was just like, a lot of it is violent, but a lot

A lot of it is like really fucking stupid. Like you were watching TV yesterday and I had the biggest urge to pick the TV up. Not to do anything with the TV, but just be annoying and pick it up. And then today someone was drinking coffee in front of me and I had the biggest fucking urge to like dip my fingers in their coffee. Yeah. I love touching people's faces.

Me, me like coming into your room and like, and just like one of those moods. And I just want to punch your fucking computer screen like 36 times for no reason. Like my brain is just like punch the screen, punch the screen, punch the screen. The intrusive thoughts never win. But, and then I'm in behind the wheel in the car and it's like, turn the wheel.

Turn the wheel. Well, that's just fun because like someone made a good point. Cars should not be getting in accidents and it being that big of a deal. Like someone's got to figure something out. Like why are cars like crumbling? That is actually tea. Like I should be able to go 60 miles per hour and crash and not turn to dust. I'm sorry. Like what do you mean? Like I thought steel was strong. Like are they not made out of steel? What are cars made out of? Fucking aluminum foil? Like actually aluminum. Sorry, I'm British.

They're made out of aluminium. I see a chance and I fucking take it. That's what life's all about. You take the risk. And that's why you're fucking winners. I'm a fucking winner. Winning. I'm winning. I'm a wiener. Bitches wanna be me. Be me. Call me a meme. Meme. I'm gonna eat this and it's gonna ruin my fucking day and y'all are gonna watch me be fucking angry.

So yeah, I'm going to smell it first because I'm scared of it. But this is... Did you shake it? No. Give it a little shake. Also, we need to fucking shut the fuck up because we're like an hour in and we need to do our media. But I'll let you take your little fog machine. Oh my fucking God. It's rancid. It's actually rancid. Smell it. Also, for those of y'all not watching and just listening, this is a dietary supplement called Royal Jelly Brain Fuel.

No, that smells good. Literally not you doing poppers on screen. Do I drink this? What if I'm not supposed to drink it? Yeah, it's a popper. You smell it. You fucking idiot. Do you need water? It's like numbing my tongue though. That was like the most flavorful thing I've ever put in my body. I'm probably supposed to dilute this, huh? That was actually pure flavor.

It burned my throat. What if I'm not supposed to drink that? You're definitely supposed to drink it. Oh my God, Drew, you're supposed to put it up your butt. Okay, I was thinking that. No, I don't know. It doesn't have any directions on it, which makes me assume you're just supposed to...

No, I'm not joking. It was literally the most flavor I've put into my mouth ever in my life. It was genuinely concerning. But I also have what's called geographic tongue. You're lying. It was numbing your tongue immediately. No, I swear it did.

Okay, let's get into media of the week. I didn't fucking take my media down again, but... I never take my media down. It's actually my worst trait. I know what I'm going to say, though. Should I go? Yeah, you go. Okay, so for my songs, I've been listening to Beyond Saving by Meet Computer. Put it on my story today. It's whatever.

It's pretty chill. Meet Computers, chill as fuck. You should listen to their music. You're chill as fuck. And then I've been listening to a lot of Boards of Canada. I think I already said that, but I still am. Boards of Canada literally is sexy hot. They're kind of depressing, and I think that's why I like it.

And then literally Curveball but get into it. Yeah by Doja Cat that shit literally is the most fun song I've heard in a long time It's like the Playboy Cardi-fication of the world like that's Doja Cat's Playboy Cardi moment and then um

I'm not done with this book yet, but I started reading a collection of short stories, The Elephant Vanishes by Murakami. I don't know how I feel about it yet. I know Murakami's writing is highly regarded and super awesome, but I don't know if it's made for my brain yet.

but I am actually really enjoying it, but it just like, for some reason, I feel like I can't find like a theme in any of the stories. And maybe that's like the point of it is just, you like kind of make your own theme. Um, but literally all of the mirror comedy tropes are in there, like the fucking cats and the disappearing woman and every fucking story. And then his like weird sex shit, um, just randomly happens all the time. Yeah. Like, like me. Um, it's giving me heartburn though. Like, it's just kind of scary. Um,

But yeah, I've been reading that. I'm not done with it yet, but it's been a good read so far.

I started crying in H Mart so far so good but I'm literally every time I talk about a book I'm like two chapters in and then I never update like how I felt about the book after um but if you want to start reading that maybe like you'll finish it before me or it'll be like a little book club and we'll both be reading it so that's my book I don't have any show because I fucking suck balls and I don't watch anything actually I did watch that movie Baby Teeth Baby Tooth I don't know why I can't think of it it's Baby Teeth I think um

pretty good. It's a good movie. I liked it. Um, then my songs are in a wing kits. I can't say it. You wink. You wig. It's literally like the most, Oh, I cannot say it, but it's,

by the artist cluster um remember you by wiz khalifa and the weekend drama by roy wood because like i said i'm in my 2016 vibe right now wild side by normani is also a song i've been listening to a lot and then i'm back on superstars by eve super um

And that's my little rotation of music right now. Oh, you know what? I want to redeem myself from last time we spoke about watching Castle of Cagliostro. I was like, ah, it's not my favorite movie in the world. Oh, yeah. But watching it in the theater, it was like a completely different experience. And that movie is fucking awesome. And I take back everything I said. It's a great fucking anime. One of the best of all time, legitimately. And it's just a feel-good movie. And also...

The way they handle sound in that movie, I know it's probably a restriction from the late...

Like it's not something easy that they could have done, but the way they handled like the silences and the sound effects and the music in the movie is like crazy. And we should bring the way they did that back. Like pure silences. Like that shit's so cool. Sounds are awesome. And the soundtrack when they do play music is like so fucking good. You know, also wait, I called it a studio Ghibli movie and someone was like, it's actually not a studio Ghibli movie, but it is a Miyazaki movie. So suck my fucking balls. It pisses me off.

It pissed me off when someone said that to me. But again, see, that's how you know I have a fucking ego because something that simple pissed me off. Yeah, yeah. But I was going to say...

I think like some of the most important shit in a movie to me is like soundtrack 100%. Oh yeah, a thousand percent. Because every one of like my favorite movies has like an incredible soundtrack that I just like can listen to over and over again. Like obviously like Gone Girl, like the Gone Girl soundtrack is fucking awesome. And I think it actually just might be, what is the name? Atticus. Oh, the composer. Atticus Ross, I think. Yeah. I can't think of his name, but I know. Yeah.

I know of him. I literally have to look that up because I'm going to... No, I actually know him. Oh, you fuck with him? But no, soundtracks are so important. Trent Reznor and Atticus Ross. Those two motherfuckers... Those motherfuckers know what they're doing. They know what they're doing. They put the pussy part of the song in the bird. Every time they put the pussy part of the song in the song. You know what I'm saying. Shut the fuck up, man. I just wanted to wrap it up and tie it up at the game like a little bow. All right. Thank you guys so much for fucking watching.

We're gonna fight when the camera's off. Cut the fucking camera. We're gonna fight in bed naked. Cut the fucking camera. Is the camera cut? Bye guys. Bye. I don't think we've ever said bye to the camera. Bye.