Sugar Baby Demands Money From Me | Financial Audit
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to watch episodes of financial audit a week earlier check us out on youtube you can't retire just off of blowing dudes for gifts for money for time for attention have you done that before i did meet up with one once sucking isn't what's gonna save your life and i could always find a sugar daddy if you uh wanted to uh maybe do that

Hi, my name is Rain. I'm from Salt Lake City, Utah. I'm 26 years old and this is Financial Audit.

Yes, it is. Thanks for coming down to Austin. I appreciate it. What do you do up there for a living? I work in retail, just Home Depot, driving a forklift. Driving a forklift. Okay, that's probably not much. And Salt Lake City, definitely not a cheap city. One of my brothers lives there. I know that for sure. Housing market's brutal. Cost of living is quite brutal. All right. Yeah, so that's probably hard to live on. What are you making? $21.03 an hour. I just got a raise. Okay.

Okay. How many hours a week do you work? Between 30 and 40. I've been working more recently. Okay.

More is capping it at 40? Well, I was working 30 hours because I was in school. Was? You graduated? No, I'm on summer break right now. Oh, okay. So I'm waiting to go back. Okay. Some people take longer. Some people start later. There's nothing wrong with that. You do the Mormon way however you want. I'll allow it, you know, soak away. But...

What are you studying? The degree I'm going for is graphic communication. No. Associate of science in graphic communications. Graphic communications. So we're spelling out high in graphics? Yeah. No, it's basically, it's a super basic art degree. So it's like photography, digital design, design. Okay. Because, I mean, listen, photography, that part is...

Especially in the world of AI, I know a lot of people are against it. It's going to displace jobs, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. A lot of people are for it, whatever. It doesn't matter where you really stand. It's certainly common. And photography, you know, it's important. People want pictures taken of them. But, oh boy, AI is coming into the photo game, right? Yeah. And coming into the design game. Now, people need website designs. People need graphic designs for things. We do graphic designs and website designs, you know. Okay. Also, I'm going to design this logo. Woo. Right?

Right. So is that what you're going to be doing or is this just in the world of just art? So originally in I went to university at SUU and I was going to do an illustration, illustration degree. But I dropped out and then I wanted to go back to just get something, just a degree. And that was the closest that I had. So I did that. OK. And have you looked at what you're going to make with that? Like, what do you mean?

Oh. The purpose of going to school? Well, the whole point of it is just so that I can have a degree so I can put on my resume. Because I just... You can put it on your resume regardless. Not that I recommend that. But most places don't check. I'm not a liar. Some will. Not a liar. I'm not. I don't lie. Okay. Ever. I try not to. Okay. So...

What is the projected income? Have you looked into it? Or what do you want to do? Because you're on summer break, so woo, we're making $40 an hour in a very expensive city. Got it at $21 an hour. Not much is really going for us, I'm assuming, at this point. No. I'm trying to just do anything I can to make my life better, but

What are you doing? What are we out there doing? What are you grinding? Well, I'm in school and I'm like in therapy and I'm here. Okay. That's a step. I get it. Okay. So you have no salary or job expectations post-graduation? Nope. Nope.

I recently told my managers. What a great way to go to school, ladies and gentlemen. No plan. Well, I don't really know what I'm doing, so I'm kind of just doing what I can. How much school is left? Just a year. Okay. Well, it's one semester. The year is opportunity cost that you're losing out of the marketplace, and a year is cost of school, and also it's cost of school and opportunity cost that we are using.

To do, we don't know. Well, I was just trying to like do something to boost my resume because I don't have like any good jobs or anything. A four-year degree to boost a resume, I get it. It's not four years, it's two years. It's not 2020 though. 2020, 2021, that's where it's like a degree, yeah, you just get into a job, right? So it's a tighter job market. It's not a

bad job market. A lot of people would debate that because we saw such a great job market, but we're back to a more normal job market where you can't just get any job you want. You got to really fight for it. Now, some sectors are a little more difficult. Tech is a bit more difficult. It's very interesting. You definitely have to be more AI focused right now to kind of land something. You have to be very competitive, but in general, you got to know what you want to do, what we're positioning the resume as to get in. What I want to do and what is realistic. What do you want to do then? Okay.

I am an artist, so if I could, I would just be a freelance artist if I want. Freelance artist doing what? What kind of art? What are we doing? Anything. I do sculpting. I do painting. I like to do photography. I do everything. Okay, so unemployment. Got it. That's fine. And what's our success rate on that?

I don't know. I want to be very clear. I went to school to study first music education because I always wanted to be a teacher. That's why we have all our educational resources like Dollar Wise Central where we do all of our classes for a lower cost and purchase them individually. Got it. Okay. That was my passion. Then I went into music composition. I like being in the art world. Listen, there's the vast, vast, not vast. It's the small minority that actually make it in the world of arts.

And that's okay. It's a competitive field. The best of the best make it. Everyone else gets pushed aside. That's kind of how it works. I did pretty okay. I was able to make a living off of music composition. Decided to make more money so I could pay off debt by doing sales. Are you studying at a well-known institute that is like better connections? No, I'm just going to community college. Okay, so that hurts it. That's not everything for what it's worth. That's not everything for what it's worth. But are you making a lot? Yeah.

I mean, I haven't made a lot, but it's mostly because I'm very, I just am so scared to put my stuff out there. Okay, then quit and go do something productive because no offense. I mean, I'm just going to lay a bear.

Like, you know, I'm not sugarcoating. If you're too afraid to put it up, everyone who fails in the world of art, unless you're like a musician that made it into an ensemble, if you're freelance, anything like that, you have to have a business brain. And every single person that I've seen fail, they don't have the business brain. They might be talented, but they don't have the business brain. You have to go in with the business brain. I went in with the talent and the business brain. I was able to make a living off of it.

I'm trying to get to that point. You're too afraid. You don't get to the point where you're not too afraid unless you really force yourself to get out there. It's why I'm in therapy so that I can like build my confidence and get like, you know, lose that anxiety so I can do stuff like that. To be clear, the therapist says, put yourself out there. And you're like, no, I'm anxious. And they're like, okay. She's definitely helped me. I've gone out more and like, I mean, I'm here. This being here right now is part of me proving to myself that I can do things. But putting your art out there is different. Like just do it and fail.

Or succeed, but probably fail. We all fail. And then you learn, you adapt, and you make better. And that's okay. I'm trying. It's slow progress. But you said you're too afraid to put it out. Okay. Well, I'm still, I have been starting to. I've been posting on my Instagram. So what is your account on a monthly basis? Well, it's been fluctuating because one of my coworkers quit and I've been making up his hours. So I think... Just what hits your account on a normal summer monthly basis? I think like $1,600. $1,600?

$1,800. In Salt Lake City? Mm-hmm. How are you surviving? I live with my grandma. Oh, okay. Why your grandma? She raised me, so she's like my mom. Gotcha. So we'll say $1,700. And what does she think about permanently supporting your art forever and you not doing anything?

Forever. For a while, she was okay with it, but now she wants me out. Good. Grandma's like, uh-oh, maybe we shouldn't enable someone. Yeah. She wants to cut the umbilical cord. Good. Because I think it is time to grow up. It's not like, don't get me wrong.

It's not I'm like don't live with family. You know, it's not about that. And a lot of... Wow. Okay. We got a hole in our ear. Yep. Sorry. I don't know why you're apologizing. I mean, instinctually, I want to touch it. I used to have more. Like I had a lot more piercings, but got rid of them. Yeah. I mean, yeah, you're right. It's not 2008 anymore. I get it. Still trying to hold on, but... Hey, my alternative phase was not a phase. This is going to be me forever. Okay.

Right. So I think I'm understanding grandma a bit more. So, yeah, I don't care if you're living at home. That is not necessarily a bad thing. It's certainly Western culture that, you know, we tend to get out of the homes earlier. We get a little bit more independence. We get driver's license earlier than most places, you know, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. In Eastern culture, you stay home. That's fine. But there is a lot in our culture where it's like, eh.

You probably aren't actually going to get in that independence. Oh, you're a little anxious putting your arm this way? Maybe it's because we've been coddled forever and we've never had to go out and actually do something on our own? Yeah, that doesn't surprise me. Linking those two things doesn't surprise me. Oh my gosh, okay. They're typing to me, Grandma almost threw her out recently. And it's not smooth sailing there. Grandma wants to stop charging her rent so she'll get the f*** out.

Yes. What is going on? She almost kicked me out. She like put my box, like boxes in front of my door. She put your boxes in front of the door? Yeah, she put, she like had a really loud phone call with my uncle and was like, if she doesn't start moving out, I'm going to start, like she's going to come home when her shit's going to be on the lawn. What is grandma saying? What is grandma's philosophy right now? What is she saying to you? Because this sounds a lot more dramatic than just like grandma would prefer if I move out and actually start my life as an adult at 26.

Sounds like she's a little more to the edge. Well, things were, it was like a year ago when she tried to kick me out and things have been better, but it's, well, I've been trying to slowly get to the point where I can move out.

It's just been really difficult. Well, you go to school forever. You're trying to do something that makes no money. And then in your job, you're not making enough money to go to Salt Lake City. So I don't know how you would. She probably wants you to actually figure out a path, but you've just been on a nothing path. Ken, I'm not going to sugarcoat it. Let's just be real. Sorry. I'm just having a little bit of anxiety. Can I just drink this real fast? Yeah, nothing helps anxiety more than an energy drink.

As someone with a panic disorder. Listen, go sh**, girl. Same. No, but, um, sorry. Just got really nervous all of a sudden. It's okay. So we know it comes in from a monthly basis. So what went out last month? I have no idea, honestly. Maybe like 800,000? Yeah.

800,000? No, like 800 or 1,000. 2,000. 2,000? Yes, you bring in 1,700. Now, you did get a tax return because I'm subsidizing your lifestyle. Yeah. You're welcome. Oof, I didn't realize that was that bad. It doesn't seem like I'm actually doing as well as I thought I did. All right, Miss Rainn.

What is your debt payoff strategy? I'd love to know just where you're at. What is going on? My strategy is, well, I mean, you know. I don't. I'd love to learn. I mean, I could always find a sugar daddy if you wanted to maybe do that. You could, like, pay my rent, get my debt down. No, are you saying me? Yeah, you.

What? You're very... Do the Utah people that come on this show. The Utah people that come on this show. What is... I don't understand. Sugar Daddy? Okay, first of all, thank you for the proposition. You can find another Sugar Daddy. I'm sure there's lots of rich Mormons. I'm sure... Most of them are cheating on their wives. I said most of those are cheating on their wives, so no. Which is...

There you go. Free money, right? I mean, sure, but I don't know. I'm not that big of a homewrecker. Okay, I get it. Listen, it's fun. Okay, Sugar Daddy, got it. I'm sure you're a fan of the show. Listen, here's the thing. This is what I'll say. One...

Uh, sure, you have some cute qualities. Two, if I even, even, even just even considered the idea, the amount of, oh, Caleb Hammer's a creepy predator that would be all over the internet. The internet's f***ing insane. So, no. And two... But you'd have so many hot women throwing themselves at you. Two, I'm in a six-month relationship, okay? I'm chilling. I'm not throwing out money for v******. You could have preferred some pretty pristine v******.

I am satisfied with the one that I currently have. I do appreciate it. Have you sugared? Okay, so let's take me off the table. If you actually wanted to do that, have you done that before? I did meet up with one once. Go on, tell me. And it was one of the worst experiences ever. And what does that tell us? Okay, so what happened? That it's not a good thing to do.

He basically just talked to me like I was a prostitute and it just made me feel awful. So I... Well, he was paying to fuck you. Paying for pussy, yeah. He was. Yeah. That's kind of what... I mean, sugar baby, it's an elevated way of saying, okay, we're going to get dinner first. Yeah. Yeah.

And did you? No. Okay. I've never done anything like that. I just tested it because I was in a... Did you get money? No. Did you meet with the intent to get money? No. So this was just a date. Yeah, I guess. Well, it was a date with the intent of, is that something that we would both be interested in? So you proposed before you met, this sugar daddy situation? Kind of, yeah.

I went on a sugar daddy website. Well, I mean, that would do it. What even is that site? I don't remember. It's been like four years. Just in case I ever break up, I guess. It's like a it's a sugar daddy website, but it's not an actual sugar daddy website because you can't do that. You can't do that? No. Isn't sugar daddy just paying? Yeah. To do that?

Like dinner and you get gifts, but then, uh-oh, whoopsie, I'm inside of you. I mean, when I was looking into it, a lot of it was like the people that were doing it and the justifications that I was reading was very like, it's basically like dating, but more refined and with more... Refined, i.e. you get money. Like more rules, right?

I get this. You get this. We do this. We do that. Okay, so you considered it and you almost did it and you kind of did it. I didn't almost. Well, I guess I did almost. I went on a date. But being on a date, yeah, it was awful and it was horrible. What was so bad? I hated him. He was a dick. He was also just gross. Okay, how old was he? He was young for a sugar daddy. He was like 37 maybe. That's a chunky gap still. Yeah.

Not that I really care. You guys are consenting adults, but... Okay. So that's our way to pay off that? That's our way to pay for school? It was, but not anymore. Unless you were still interested. Again, relationship. And also, fast track the cancellation. Okay. Okay.

I appreciate the proposition. We're here for financial audit. The thing is, what would you even receive in that? Let's go down the rabbit hole. What would that even look like? What? What would that look like? You're proposing something. It's a business agreement. What does that look like?

Like me and you? You're proposing. What does it look like? My audience isn't a bunch of pearl crutchers. Some people would be freaking out online, but they're f***ing weird and I don't care about them. What would that look like? Well, like you just said, Caleb, it's between two consenting adults and with an exchange of gifts or money. Yeah, so what are you proposing? Caleb, I'm proposing s*** and money and gifts. It's illegal. It's illegal.

It's illegal. No, no, no, no, no. Make an official proposal. Caleb, will you please be my sugar daddy? Okay. It's not that I said, make a proposal. That's a proposal. What do you mean? That's a question. No. What is the, what is the exchange rate? I don't know. What's the conversion? I don't know. My is worse. No. Okay. I'm not even saying that. I don't know what you're asking me. I'm just like, if you're going to come in here and you're legitimately going to propose that,

What are you actually proposing? What is the this for that, this for this? It's not what I just said. It's for gifts, for monies, for times, for attention. I don't, I'm so confused. I don't know what the f*** you're asking me. Am I stupid? Okay, I shouldn't have given you that. It's less about that. It's less about that. I'm just, I'm so confused. Like,

In your proposal, what monetary thing were you trying to achieve? Like paying off debt, moving out? The dollar amount. Oh, well, that's why I said I don't know what my is worth. Stop bringing it to that. $2,000. Let's go with $2,000. I don't feel uncomfortable very often, but that actually... $3,000. $3,000 for... Dates, time, attention. Well, I'm sure there's interested parties out there. Listen...

You've thrown me off in this conversation. I've rendered you speechless. I've been asked out on the show a couple times. I've rendered you speechless. Yeah, I've been asked out on the show a couple times, but I've never been asked to pay for... You're the money guy. Tell me how much money I should be getting. I don't know because I don't support illegal... Maybe you should look into that because it's part of the financial thing. I have a girlfriend. No, I'm not saying for you. I'm just saying to know what the conversion rate for... is.

I think it depends on the flap, right? Yeah. I think it depends on it, right? Okay, so you attempted this. It didn't work because he was nasty. Then you brought it to a public platform. Interesting. But, okay, I got it. So when we try this again...

I mean, I just... Here's the thing, okay? And it comes with the OF stuff. It comes with a lot of things. You are an adult. Do what you want. I don't really care. I tend to go more for the let humans do what they want as long as it doesn't completely fuck society type thing or harm someone else. But I want you to think about the consequences. The consequences are, one, if you actually do this, please make them always wrap up. Two...

If you actually do this, please always get tested. Two, three. Is this something you actually would want to do? Because that's, it's like... It's better than living with grandma forever. Yeah, but it's also a bit degrading. It's a not... I mean, it's degrading to live with grandma forever. But that's not the way to make your art career work. I mean, it's a good way to supplement it. How else am I going to get all my art supplies? Okay. Okay.

I don't know. It's not necessarily cute. I understand what you're thinking here, but it's not... Okay, wow, this is not an interaction I thought I'd have on this show. That's very interesting. So community college... Listen, when's the last time you dated somebody? It's been three years. Why? Why?

And then why are we even talking about this? Oh, so it's been a while because I realized in like most of my relationships, there was a cycle of not great people. So we're going to do better by getting people to pay for us? Well, no, because there's no emotional connection with that.

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A year and a half, two years ago. So why are we considering this then? It seems so against... I understand the desperation to get out of grandma's house. I understand having debt is bad. I understand all this stuff. But this is why people get pushed to OF. This is where people really kind of just turn into this... I almost started selling feet pics on OnlyFans.

I'm afraid of you going down a pipeline that is not... Well, that's why I'm here and that's why I'm in college. That's why I'm in therapy. So I don't go down that way. And what has your therapist said about this? About what? This. Like this or like... About money for boobie. Oh, I haven't told her anything about that. Great. It hasn't come up. That's great. That's wonderful. Thank goodness. Why not have a conversation about...

There's plenty more than you make. Plenty of other problems that we can go over with her. So maybe if we're in that situation, we shouldn't be going into literal... Okay, I guess. And listen, here's the thing. There are other versions of sugar daddy, and it's not me supporting or whatever, but we can just talk objective about it. There is the just time for lonely people. You can do that without the, you know, and clearly you're not much into the... So...

Would not be single right now if I could be. You were not? Wait. I wish I was in a relationship. I don't like being single. It's been three years. Yes. What are you doing? Are you going on dates? It's the last time you've been on a date. A year and a half, two years ago. Okay, then I don't think you're working very hard at this goal. No. People are scary. People can be really fucked up. Yes, some. So you shut down humanity? Yeah.

And you live in a box the rest of your life? That's not a life worth living. I'm in this box right now. This is me getting out of my box. Yeah, but this isn't a date. This isn't a relationship. But this is still talking to someone that I'm, you know, going back and forth on. You don't have conversations with humans? I mean, you work at a place. You go outside. Well, I like, I pretty much just go to work and then I go home most of the time. But do you want to be an artist? Well, you have school as well.

I did online classes.

I did a digital art design and now I can do InDesign and I'm really good at it. But is it not something that I could probably type into GPT and just get? Probably at this point, yeah. Come on, and that's the thing. It's just like we have to adapt. Good or bad doesn't matter, it's here. I mean, in a way, you're kind of part of the problem by engaging in AI so much. Are we doing AI right now? I'm confused. Well, no, but you advertise it.

You just said you use ChatGPT. That's AI. Well, it's a good search. I use it as a search engine. Much quicker than Google. Did you put glue on your pizza? Huh? Did you put glue on your pizza?

Remember, there was like a point when Chad GPT came out, somebody was like, give me a pizza recipe. And it said, put glue on your pizza as cheese. Has it not improved? I'm sure it has. But like, that doesn't mean that everything that comes out of it is 100% right. Oh, I don't believe everything 100%. But it's still like a search engine, kind of like Google. I just use it as Google. But okay, yeah.

I'm a little confused. I mean, yes, there are new products in the space. It's okay to promote halfway decent products that might make people's lives easier. But also at the same point, I know the conflict of, yeah, some people might lose jobs, but also...

look at how you're going about your job and things. It's hard for me to have as much sympathy for you just based on where you're going for it. I'm not asking you for sympathy for me. Then what's the issue? Well, people in general, every time that you... If you use the AI video creating things, then you're taking that away from somebody that is a physical person. Yeah, no, absolutely. There's costs and negatives when we...

invented the tractor. It took away farm jobs when we invented factories. It took away more manual labor jobs. Now we've got the AI taking away the white collar jobs. Yeah, I mean, it's hard. Those economic transitions are incredibly difficult and we have to figure that out. And our system has at least historically shown a halfway decent point of getting people into different career fields, but it doesn't mean you get to do what you want forever, right? Yeah.

It's harder to be the person that goes out and just, just, he's a manual farmer. You know, he can't really compete. What do you think your financial score is? Zero to 10? Like a two, maybe. Okay. Two out of 10. If you want to know where you stand in the world of finances, take the assessment. It is free at calebhammer.com or click that link in the description below. And also,

Make sure you go to calebhammer.com slash apply if you want to be on the show. And don't forget to download our budgeting app, Dollar Wise. Sign up for the annual version. You can take the trial, but sign up for the annual version. I'll send you our cookbook, budget-friendly cookbook, signed by me, sent directly to you. Okay, so you've accumulated a lot of debt by doing nothing in life so far. Why have we accumulated all this? Practically $25,000 of debt.

And have done nothing. How? What have you done? Not just funsies. What does life look like? Well, I've just, I don't know. I've had a lot of make myself feel better spending. Just the endless cope. It's always just the endless cope, man. Let me tell you. I mean, you're spending alone. Let's just check out the categories right now from this most recent month.

Mussolini's bullshit was 16.3% spending. Bullshit. I didn't even see groceries. Bullshit. Food was 12%. Unknown shopping, 19%. Of course, we know we spent $2,000 when we brought in $1,700. So that's the percent of the spending. Again, sucking dong is not going to change that. You bring in more money, you spend more money. That is what's going to happen. Bring in $3,000.

You'll spend $3,500. I mean, I hope not. You're trying to be better. You hope not trying to be better, yet you spend more. Trying to budget, trying to get my shit together. What are you talking about? Why does literally everyone in the history of this show, I swear, within this last year say that I'm trying? What do you mean? Every most recent month, you spend more than you brought in. What the fuck are you talking about? I'm trying. There is no trying. I'm trying to budget. I'm just trying to budget. You budget or you don't.

You budget or you don't? I guess I don't budget, but I would like to. Then why don't you? Because I'm lazy and stupid. Oh, that's a bullshit answer. Come on. Pull deep inside. Why are you not sitting down and putting in the actual work?

It's just, I just, I don't know. I just, I don't. I just have so much other better things to do. So you have no self-reflection in your entire life. So much better things to do with my time than sit down with budgets. Really? Than to actually fix your life and try to, what do you want to do? Do you have any goals, any aspirations? Oh, yes. I want to buy a house. Besides being the artist, you want to buy a house? Where? Salt Lake City? Salt Lake City?

Good f***ing luck. Do you want to end up in Salt Lake City? Do we want to move? What do we... Because if you have nothing to latch on to, goals, you're not even close to getting to, honestly. $25,000 negative net worth. I would like to move. To? Anywhere. Well, I just... Come on. Well, I want to...

I want to follow the job. So anywhere I can get a better job, I would just, whatever, whatever that is. You don't know what job. You said you want to be an artist. What career field are we looking at outside of that? Well, it's not, it wasn't everything. I have like a huge range of things that I would be okay with doing. Lock in something. What? Just name your number one. Um. Says the artist. Freelance. Besides that? Yes.

An actual job that someone can offer you and pay you money for. Well, I've thought about maybe getting an accountant certification. It's so far off. And listen, I'll give you that from course careers. But even still, if you're looking at a certification, why be even in college? Get an accounting degree at that point. Well, that was my next step after I graduated.

Was to do the certification.

I didn't do permanent school. I dropped out for a long time. And now you're back. And I'm only back for a little bit. And we're 26 and we're talking about graduating and going back to school for accounting. Well, how else am I supposed to like get something to move out? See, that's the thing. You think that is everything, but you think being there in that endless cycle forever, getting the next degree and getting the next degree, never actually starting our adult life career, moving on. Look where you are. You're negative 25,000. Well, I'll make that a positive 25,000. How? How?

Well, we already know your strategy and I don't think that's

All right, financial audit community, we're going to come together right now and we're going to do a little bit of self-reflection and confessing on my behalf. The last couple of years, I've been launching educational programs each quarter or so. And then we also launched our budgeting app. And tens of thousands of people have taken these programs and more than tens of thousands of people have downloaded the budgeting app. The fact is, as someone who wanted to go to college to educate people, I love working with professionals in making these programs that

actually changed people's lives. But the confession and realization is the more and more we make and the more and more I want to make to educate people on certain topics, the more expensive it's all getting. So I sat down with my team a few months ago and we started brainstorming a solution on this. We decided to rebrand kind of everything we're working on for the future and we've brought it all in as

dollar wise you got the budget nap version and then you got the education version and what we're doing right now is bundling it all together for literally 80 off that is eight zero percent off and we're calling it dollar wise central you get

All of our educational programs that we've made and the premium version of our budgeting app, all for one singular price. Again, it's literally 80% off at dollarwise.com. Those links are also in the description below. Tens of thousands of people have changed their lives. You can too. And now for a lot cheaper, go to dollarwise.com. I mean, objectively, it is not a healthy way to do it. Don't get me wrong. Women have made millions off the OF.

I don't necessarily know. Listen, you... I only wanted to do the feet pics as a supplement. I would never... Yeah, but we're talking about Sugar Daddy as a natural transition. It is a natural transition. No, I don't believe that because there are people that have boundaries and you can put a boundary for yourself and be like, I will only ever sell feet. And you can follow that boundary. I don't believe that it's a pipeline that if you start it, you're going to end up flashing your hoo-ha to everyone. Well...

Alright, really for Mormon, Bill. Got it. But the thing is, if we're willing to sleep with people for money, that is where there's a more natural transition. And if there's no boundary for that, selling boobs online. Which I've never done. I've never done any of it. You've met up, you went on the site, and you're considering it. So the fact is, that is an easy transition. And what I was trying to say is people have made millions. But I want to be objective. And I just want to lay it flat.

You have cuteness. You're cute. Thank you. The people you'd be competing against. Are hot. Ter. Yeah. Yes. Yes. Well, thanks for that backhanded compliment. You're cute. You're, you're on. You're so cute, but you're not that hot. Did I say so cute? Let's not put words in my mouth. Sorry.

I said you are cute. Sorry, you are cute, but you're not that hot. What? You're a six and a half. I'm a five. Let's be honest. Like, come on. Right? We can be honest. Especially if you come in here and ask for it. I didn't ask for you to rate me. I didn't ask for you to do that. Rude. To what you? Rate me. Rate you? Mm-hmm.

Well, with where this conversation was going, I didn't know a language. No, but you come in asking for Sugar Daddy. Of course I'm going to tell you my objective thoughts on if you want me to be a client.

Again, cute, it's going to be hard to compete. That's all I'm saying. Not that I even want you to do it anyway. Because a lot of people, it's kind of degrading. You get kind of fucked up for that. Well, then help me and I won't put down that path. A lot of people get tens of millions of dollars and they get to live an amazing life. Help you, yes, great. I'm already trying to, though. Because the conversation we're having is important. The permanent school is not a healthy thing. That doesn't get you anywhere. I don't want to be in school. I do love school, though. That's the problem. Because you have...

I, I f***ing, after four conversations a week for three years, I'm just starting to learn everyone's profile. I can kind of guess the rest of your life. Here's the thing. You're not leaving grandma's house. You're afraid to interact. No f*** you, I will leave grandma's house. Yeah, but,

you haven't. But I will. Okay, sure. But you haven't. I'm saying you live with grandma at 26. You work basically what is considered minimum wage in that town. And you are in permanent school. You're afraid to put your art out there. You drop out, go back, drop out, go back, gonna get a second degree, cancel people online all day. I know people like you. You are

that person that is afraid to go out of their little bubble and you'll never do it because it's scary. I am afraid and I am scared, but I am getting better about it and I'm growing and I'm getting better. You're getting better about maybe some social things, but you in terms of your career and life, that is what I'm saying is dangerous. And you're saying, you're

You're saying, help me so I won't have to do that. What I am trying to say and what is the helpful advice, probably more than we're going to get out of anything in this conversation, your endless loop of school and being coddled by grandma and not actually going out there, putting your art on display, not actually going out there trying to have a career, not actually

out there trying to be an adult for the first time in your life is what is actually f***ing holding you back. Okay? Sucking b***h isn't what's going to save your life. You actually need to go out there and get s*** done. You can accomplish a lot of stuff in a second day. Do you understand how much marketing goes into selling feet pics? I do, actually. I looked into it a little bit, and I was... I just...

Yeah, I felt really weird doing it. I started taking pictures of my feet, but then I could never actually upload it. You couldn't upload them? No, because it was, I just, it was weird. What's weird? I don't know. Well, I was with somebody with a foot fetish, so it's not like weird. Ladies and gentlemen, here it is. That's it. That's it.

There you go. It wasn't very scary, I'll be honest. You have any idea how many people are going to goon to that now? You just gave the internet kryptonite for you. Good! Keep your screens clean, ladies and gentlemen. That's all I request. Don't get it in the keyboards.

They also would like to know, are the feet ugly? No, I've actually told my aunt told me I could be a foot model, which is a weird thing to say to someone. But yeah, I have very cute feet. Is she just staring at your feet? No, I was just barefoot. And she was like over at my house and she was like, oh, you have cute feet. You could be a foot model. You have a weird relationship with your family and you're just a little weird. OK, Amazon chase card. Let's get into the finances. What the are we talking about?

You owe $1,487.54 on here with a minimum monthly payment due of $40. Purchasing $340. Why? $32.39 of interest accrued. Why? Probably for funsies. I actually, I don't remember. Pull up your Amazon account. It takes six years to pay off. Congratulations. Six years? Yeah, minimum monthly payments only without doing any purchases, of which, by the way, you're incapable of. Hold on.

It only goes back like three months. Oh, I did get the... Oh, you have a wish list. A wish list for the sugar daddies. Oh my... Okay, let me see it. Oh my gosh! What are you? You are such a f***ing creature. You seem so innocent. And then, of course, you have your like borderline demonic piercings. But then you... Demonic? But then you're out there trying to f***ing glizz it out. If you're going, you have to scroll back up. What, for your sugar daddy wish list? Yeah, for the lists.

Yeah, but you see Prime Day is coming up. Well, you better find one soon. I'm very excited for that. You better find one soon because I don't know how the fuck you're going to afford this. We got a Star Wars Complete 9 movie collection. If you opened with that, I may have said yes. That's what the girlfriend and I are doing right now. We're binging all the Star Wars movies. 30 Days of Night. Goddess and Everwoman.

That's good. All right. We don't need commentary on everything. Dula quick dry cargo pants. That's for work. I work outside at night. Wide brim bucket hat. UV protection. You are very white, but also you're in Utah, so I don't really know. Woman's crop sweater v-neck. Is that what you're wearing right now? I can't tell. Yes.

Okay, so you already bought the thing that's on your... Okay. Woman's cotton linen maxi dress. Japanese art style for women. In your card right now is...

a rest keyboard cloud are you a gamer yeah i have a pc that's another reason you're not going out and i love little gameys but it's like come on you're just locking yourself inside yeah i'm not right now i came all the way to texas okay congrats you let you went outside one day out of for the last year and a half come on cooling towels stop bringing up the fact that you're here it's like okay i know you're here yay yeah you made it you opened the door

Lots of travel things, portable speakers, women's, lots of clothing and cat water fountain filters and stained glass and folders and nose ring hoops, screen protectors, watch, crayons, and lots of roller skates. Yeah, I recently took that up. It's fun. I feel like you're going to try the sugar daddy thing and it's going to fail and then you're just going to be a Discord girlfriend. Be someone's Discord kitten. Yeah.

What is that? That's so weird. You have this innocent vibe and then again, a little bit of a creature look and then you just say the most wild things. I mean, I'm probably, I mean, I was kind of raised by the internet. I'm kind of, I might look innocent. I'm definitely a certified gooner. I'm glad the toys are getting a workout. Yeah, I forgot that was on my list. Was that on your wishlist? Did I miss it? Oh, I thought that's what you were talking. Nevermind. You didn't see the toys on there.

Good. Why don't you just find someone? If you want a boyfriend, find someone. Someone that isn't paying you to be with you. That's difficult. People are hard. Are you on the apps? Yeah, I pinch. We will review them in the post show, ladies and gentlemen. We will bring in Gunnar and Chief. Brandon, you know him from being the translator.

We're my co-host of Fat and Fatter, our new show. You have a new show? Yeah, it's in the Hammer Elite membership. That's fun. Monday, Wednesday, Friday. Two hours after financial audit uploads. Every single day.

starting on the 30th of this month. I don't know when this video goes up. I've never used, like I've never done the Patreon thing, but I thought about buying yours. Don't do it on YouTube membership. We have the second largest on the platform. Yeah. And the platform has told us it's the best on the platform. That's because it is. Because it's awesome. Amazon, Amazon, Amazon, Amazon, Amazon, Amazon. 26.49% interest rate. Yeah. Yeah.

I recently went and looked at that and I didn't realize how much... Do not bite your lip at me again after this conversation. That makes me feel weird. Sorry. You can bite your lip at Brandon later, not me. Mountain America. What is going on with this? So for a really long time, I didn't really know like how checking and savings, like how you're supposed to do that. So I kind of, yeah, I just did what I thought was right. What did you think was right? That wasn't an answer. What the are you talking about?

Uh, so I, I pretty much, so I was putting everything on credit cards. Um, cause I, okay. So when I was 16, I bought something with my card, my checking account got cleared. No, my debit card. I was going to say, okay. And it got, my account got wiped. So after that, I started just putting all my money in savings and switching it over to checking when I need to buy something. But then when I got a credit card, I stopped doing that. And I just started buying everything on my credit card instead. And I pretty much never used my checking account.

How long have we been doing that? Like four years up until like a few months ago, maybe. I still have a habit of, well, my card actually stopped working. My debit card. When you say you're trying, that is not trying then. Trying is we're stopping something that is not working and trying to implement something else. That is not trying. It's trying for me. So you're just a failure in every instance of life.

No. You don't have to be, though. I'm just so confused by you. Do you want to get out? How long have you wanted to not live with grandma? Since 18. What? You've done nothing. It's been eight years. It's been eight years. You've accumulated debt and you've done nothing. Have you? Why? How's your guys' relationship? Weird. Really weird. Tell. I don't know how much you want to get into it, but I recently have been learning a lot about enmeshment.

And, like, covert incest. What the f***? I don't know what you're talking about. You don't know what enmeshment is? No, I'm not on therapy TikTok where we self-diagnose everything. I didn't self-diagnose that. I've talked to my therapist about it and she agrees. It's basically where families are, like, super... It's like when families are too involved with each other. Well, you live with her...

You haven't left and she feels like you leech off of her and she wants you gone. So yeah, maybe you're enmeshed. She wants me gone, but she also wants me to like... What is this reverse incest thing?

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No, it's basically like where parents kind of like make their children into their partners. She wants you gone. You're just capable of going and doing something productive in life. Stop being the whiny little brat that puts everything on grab. She doesn't want you there. I'm not a whiny little brat. She doesn't want you there. She is very like sabotaging. She doesn't want you there. I don't want to be here. But you are choosing to because you're doing nothing.

You're permanently in school forever. You've done nothing to strategically leave. I'm about to do it. You keep saying I'm permanently in school. A certification is not like, that's not intensive. Yeah, but you can do that instead of going out and getting something better job. It's not me going back to school like you keep saying. So she's reverse incesting you. You guys are touching nips. I don't understand. I'm so confused. I'm also confused and grossed out by this conversation. But if you're going to use the word incest, like what else am I picturing? That's what it's called.

She wants you gone. How are you suggesting that she is trying to sabotage you? She literally wants you not there. She she packs up and put the boxes on her front porch. That's not what she did. What did she do? She told my uncle if I didn't start packing, she would throw my shit out on the front. And then the next day she put boxes in front of my door. Good. At the time, that wasn't justified, in my opinion.

Live with a rich Mormon man. Don't do that. But you totally could if you wanted to. Don't do that. Do you have friends? Not really. A couple. I have people at work that I talk to a little bit and I've only hung out. Room with one. The only one I know, I don't. She has a dog and I have cats. Okay, keep them separate.

In your room. I'm not confining my cats to a single bedroom. That's cruel. It doesn't know what it's doing. No, that's mean. Sure. Okay, okay. I love my cats. I never do that to them. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I like pets too. I get it. I'm just trying to figure out a solution because you're getting reverse diddled or whatever. And I don't know. Well, I looked into some like cheaper apartments. And I'm sure you looked into other trauma terms as well. Like a while ago. Okay. And what'd you find? Well, at the time I was making less and I...

Didn't have enough money to like afford it. But now that I've gotten a raise, maybe I can afford it if I get better with my shit. But you're not. So you're just living with grandma forever. I will not live with her forever. You're 26. You wanted to move out since 18. It's been eight years. What the fuck are you talking about? Nothing has changed. Oh, my therapist. What? What has my therapist done this time? What has my therapist done? Tell me. She wants me to move out like that. Great. And you've done nothing. You've gone further into debt.

And also, I think you might need a new therapist. I actually am thinking about firing her, but not really for that reason. For what reason? She's chronically late to our appointments. Well, she's also chronically enabling you and just being like, yes, actually, what you're saying is so true. Oh.

You are so reverse incested right now. God, I wish my therapist actually was like that. That'd be great. Yeah, because you just want someone who just completely affirms everything you're saying. Instead of someone who's actually willing to challenge you and have you go out there and develop any kind of positive coping mechanisms whatsoever. Yeah. Yeah. No, I don't. I am...

I don't, you don't like the word trying, so I can't keep saying that. Because you're not. I mean, listen, I have your finances in front of me. Like, if you're going to use that word, I would want to see some try. You did nothing positive. I've been better over the last, like...

Six-ish months. If you saw from like what it was years ago, it was a lot worse. That's what everyone says. Listen, everyone says that when they come on the show. I don't know. Maybe everyone says it because it's true. Yeah, but everyone's f***ed that comes on the show or else you wouldn't be on the show. Well, then maybe that's, I don't know.

That's like the guest that you bring on. Yes. On a show about financial disasters, we bring on... So you're surprised that they have financial disasters? No, but I'm surprised that everyone says, I'm doing better. No, you're not. In what sense?

One thing that's really hard here is I want you to get out of the grandma's house, but other than that, we just have no goals and aspirations in life. No, I do have goals. I saved for an elective surgery. I want to get my car paid off as soon as I can. You're trans? No. I convinced myself for a moment there. For a moment? I'm back in the traditional woman world. I had a bilateral self-injection.

And he wouldn't know what that was. Nope. I had my fallopian tubes removed. Whoa. For you? For, for, for, for Kay. Because I don't want kids. Kids are cool. They're not for me. Mm-hmm. I don't want them. It's quite a permanent thing to make early on. I've known since I was like 10 years old that I didn't want kids. I've always known. Uh-huh.

So I guess we're just getting rid of the period effects? No, that's if you get a hysterectomy. You have to remove your arteries. So what is the benefit of what you've done? I don't have to worry every time I have sex. You don't have sex.

You're willing to have people pay for it. I had issues in my relationships because I was so scared to have sex that I just wouldn't. Make them wrap it up. They did, and I'd still get anxious. I'd be on birth control and I'd still be anxious. Well, isn't it because you're incapable of existing in this world without being anxious? I guess not. I'm very anxious. Yeah, we know. I mean, okay. And how much was that? Well, they told me it was going to be a lot more, so I tried to save a lot more, but then it ended up being like...

When? How much did you save? How much was it? At the beginning of this year, I had like two or three thousand saved up for it. And then... So you did this all so you could have raw sex and not worry about it? I mean, yeah, but I don't want to produce a child. That's way more expensive. It's such a big thing as...

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Like, I get the child thing. I get the child thing. Of course, it's a very permanent decision you've made early on. But whatever, you know, you live your life. But just out of the fear of not having a child, this is a dramatic and expensive and very invasive decision to have...

No, it's not. What do you mean? It's just a permanent choice for myself. No, it's a very big, it's an expensive version of, hey, just wear a condom. Okay, I guess. Yeah, that's true. But it's because of the anxiety. I just didn't, like, I ruined. I got that, but you work on positive coping mechanisms instead of going to extremes, though. That's what we learn in proper therapy. I don't think that's extreme if I know for a fact I'm never going to have a kid. Sure. The thing is.

All I'm trying to say is to play devil's advocate. And, you know, I'm not, I don't got the f***ing eggs. I'm not f***ing out eggs, okay? I'm not popping those guys out. Yeah, you also don't have to be pregnant. Huh? You don't have to be pregnant. I don't have to be pregnant. I'm just all, you know, I'm not fully there. And that's everyone's excuse online. They're going to be like, Kayla is not a woman. You can never have an opinion. The thing is, just to play devil's advocate, we all have things where we know for a fact that we never or do want to do something our entire life. And then life happens. Yeah.

So that's all I'm saying is you went to an extreme version of just working on positive coping mechanisms for what is 99.99% effective in avoiding pregnancy where we also could add on birth control. We could also add... Birth control gave me horrible side effects. And I could only do certain types of birth control. And I know there's lots of downsides to this painful-wise, but there's the hormonal-free IUD. All I'm saying is there are lots of options that...

I chose not to. And coping mechanisms that you chose not to, but you went an extreme version, which makes you nervous for your life as you go extreme versions of things instead of working on positive coping mechanisms. And then you get reaffirmed in your therapy. I first Googled the surgery when I was 16. So I've been thinking about the surgery for 10 years. It wasn't just like, oh, I want a raw dog, my boyfriend. So I'm going to go get my tubes removed. How much was it? How much did you save? $10.

I saved two to three thousand because they told me it would be like a thousand but then it only ended up being like one or two thousand. How much did you have left over? Well my car broke down at the same time and I got a concussion. So we have no savings. No not anymore. I did. Oh! What's in your retirement?

I think now it's like $2,000. You are in the best decade of your life. The thing is, if you graduate college at the traditional 22 and you start throwing, you know, at least a match in, preferably closer to like 10% at least, you know, going into the market, you just set yourself up for success because you have time on your side. You have time on your side.

You're losing time. I started out like in the biz, like, you know, working with the idea that I would never retire. Like, I just always had that in the back of my head. We can't retire just off of blowing dudes because no offense, but people will be less interested around 35. Yeah. Yeah.

My shelf life, that wall that I hit. Well, I mean, if we're just talking reality, what's the age that people are subscribing to on OF? Oh, I, yeah. Exactly. I mean, I don't know the age, but I'm assuming it's in the 20s, yeah. Okay, so in this account, so this is a credit card. The amount in America is a credit card? It's a $15 minimum payment. It's not a huge balance. It's $516.95. Okay.

And also, the thing is, can I just mention, I know this conversation is weird. This is a weird financial audit, but I've accepted it at this point. I'm a weird person, it's fine. Huh? I'm a weird person, it's fine. Yes, you literally have a gaping hole in your ear. Yes. More holes for the daddies to use, I guess. But the thing is... Be a really small daddy. Hmm? That'd be a really small daddy. The thing is, listen, I am known for the most infamous and absolutely...

Incredible quote. Any hole will do. And I am proud of that. I am proud of that. And I was also another certified gunner. But the thing is, what I was going to say, since we've already gone off the rails, people have come on the show and they've asked me out earnestly and everything. That flatters me. Someone coming on the show and being like, can you give me money for me to go out with you? That doesn't flatter me. That hurts my feelings.

Hurts my feelings, okay? So you didn't even... I didn't even get flattery out of this, so... McDonald's, Subway, Subway, McDonald's, Netflix, Subway, Spotify, Steam purchases, oh! You're not even doing anything...

You're not even putting bills on here. You're not putting anything that gets us out of the house. Your wishlist is fucking futons for where? For your grandma's living room? Fuck you. This doesn't make any sense. None of this gets you out of the house. You have a goal eight years ago to get out of the house, and yet you're going on here just getting McDonald's and steam purchases? Fuck you. Sitting on your PC all day instead of working more? Fuck you. You're doing nothing. Stop biting your lip at me. It's weird. You're doing nothing. You're doing nothing to get you to your goal.

I'm here. It's not cute. It's not funny. Shut the fuck up. Shut the fuck up. Oh my gosh, this is fucking crazy. These notes. You're just such a creature. She spent $700 to have electricity added to the basement of her grandma's house. And that's where she just sits in there. She just fucking goons. And she just plays games all day instead of going out, seeing the sun or any. But why are you even getting the sun hat so you can sit in your grandma's basement? Why did you even invest in your grandma's basement to get electricity down there? You.

to move out. That $700 could have gone to a savings account to get a security deposit down on a place. You make no sense. Your ambitions and you actually think your way out of it is, oh, I'm going to go out there and just... It's not going to...

That's not a good solution. It's not a healthy solution. And you think that's a shortcut because you have done nothing in your entire life to actually get you there. You just invest in actually staying there more. $1,800 gaming PC so you can just sit down there. The double monitors. You went online. Got a loan for it. It was too easy. Oh my God. Well, I had to make myself into a certified Discord kid. But you didn't have to. You could have got your own place. You could... Ew. You could have gotten a studio apartment in...

And rented. And you could have been good. I did look at the time and I couldn't afford it. Oh, she looked, guys. What an accomplishment. Guys, she went on Zillow. I got afforded for a low income housing and I still couldn't afford it. And you honestly shouldn't even because that's for people down on the luck. You're not down on your luck. You're down on you've done nothing.

That's why the fuck should we support you? You've done nothing. You've gone further into that via gaming PCs and gooning and you want to suck to get out of money. Why am I giving you a tax refund? Why am I subsidizing your house? Why? That makes no sense. I work. I employ people. I provide. I would like to learn how to make my own. You'd like to, but you've done nothing except for the infinite college hack.

I've secretly told my managers I'd like to move up. You secretly told your managers? No, I recently. Sorry. I'm mixed up. Okay, and they said... They said that they're... They said look like a normal person first? No, they're my work. They don't give a shit what you look like. I've got people with like... In Mormonville? Okay. Yeah, well, Salt Lake is... Well, it's actually a very blue city.

It's everywhere else that's really red and conservative. Okay, keep going. And what would that go to, 21 to 23? Depending. So there is a specific job I want, and I think that one's $50,000 a year. But it wouldn't make sense to promote you, though, because one, I mean, we know you. You don't know me, huh? Not that part, not that part, not in any of that. We know where you're at. You're...

I'm on summer break. I'm going to be going to school again in the fall and for another year. And then after that, I want to do something else. So it's like, why would they invest in you? I mean, it's retail. They don't care. It's like if you do the job and you do the... They care about invest... They would rather have someone there that is going to stick around. I've been volunteering to go extra days. They don't care. Okay. I've been going about... I'm a hard worker and I do a lot of my job. Okay, you're working 40 hours a week. Calm down. You...

They want to invest in people that will stick there. Huh? I bust my ass. I do a lot at my job. No, you're trying to take it up the ass to get more money. That is different. Hot. Sorry. All right. She's into it. Ladies and gentlemen, we've learned. Okay. That's another good way to avoid pregnancy. I guess. We'll see if that's on our Tinder profile in the post show. I have Tinder. I only have Hinge. Oh, okay. Hinge is the place. Hinge is the place. Hinge is the place.

It's just like, you're right. The entry-level jobs, they don't really care of investing in that. You're totally right. But in terms of a $50,000 management position, they're not sending someone to training or training someone up and putting someone in that position who's not going to be there three months from now. I don't know that. And also, I would stay there if it was good enough. If it paid enough, I would stay. I would still probably try to get certifications on the side and still try to get better jobs. But right now, I just want to make enough money to move out.

Whatever it is, if I have to move up. I think Lindsay has just typed me the least surprising note I've ever read in the entire history of financial audit. I'm scared. And she's bi. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Isn't that a theme on your show? Who would have thought? Dude, every woman I've gone on dates with in the last few years are fucking bisexual. Women are hot. Guys are hot. Agreed. Ladies are good. Well, okay.

I do like the women part. I don't know. But somehow conveniently, they always end up with guys. It is true, right? At least the ones that I know in my life. I have a theory for that, though. Have you ever dated a woman? Yes, I've been with a woman. Been with a woman. Yeah. Yes, I've been with a woman. I have had sexual intercourse with a woman. I've been with a woman. I've dated a woman. Is that intercourse? Is that...

Are you saying that... I said dated. Yeah. Well, I said both. I've done everything. Oh, okay. I've been with men and women. All right, calm down. It's not a f***ing accusation. My gosh. Just asking. But my... No, but my theory about that is, is like the compet. Like when you're like our... Did you just say to me? Compulsory heteron...

Oh, here we go. Let's label her. Yeah, what are we labeling today? Well, it's the whole like straight people or gay people have to be straight or else they could be ostracized from their community or society or friends or whatever. Doesn't everyone support gay people these days? No. Dude, I'm from Utah, dude. Yeah, but you're from Salt Lake, dude. Dude. You just said. I haven't always lived in Salt Lake. I've lived all over Utah. Why? Well, I went to Cedar City for SU. I don't actually live in KY, but...

Okay, I get it. I get it. I get it. But it is okay. It's easier to be with someone of the opposite sex than it is to be with someone of the same sex. So I think most people just choose sex. It's easier. It is, but you could also just move to Austin, be the biggest gay person you've ever been, and just get high fives. Well, give me a job and I'll move to Austin. No, fuck off. I'm not paying you for nut and I'm not paying you for work either because...

You only know how to drive forklifts. And I'm great at both. Hey guys, always ask me, Caleb, what do you invest in? And honestly, I keep it pretty boring. Take a look at this. Take a look at this. This is my investments right here. And this is why you got to follow me on Blossom if you want to see just that. A couple weeks back, I stumbled upon this social investing app called Blossom and thought, all right, let's give

let's give it a try. And it turns out it's actually really cool. And to be clear, they're not a brokerage. Blossom is a completely free social media platform. They're not your typical investing app. It's social, meaning you can follow exactly what I'm investing in and you can check out my portfolio in real time and even discuss strategies with me and other investors. There's no guessing games, just clear transparency. So if you're curious about how I'm investing or just

want to get smarter with your money, download blossom right now. And you can follow me at Caleb hammer. I'll be sharing my exact portfolio breakdown, investing tips, and even responding to your questions. It's totally free, super simple and way more fun than just guessing stocks alone. So hit that link below, join me on blossom and let's grow our money together. Seriously. Right now you can actually see what my portfolio looks like today. What do you prefer men or women? Women. Really? So, but you will let men pay.

Okay. I'd let a woman pay. Yeah, they're probably just, that's less frequent, I assume. The likelihood of a gay sugar mama is probably insane. You could probably have an old, an old queen, right? Well, that's usually a gay man. Yeah, if I want some dusty. Yeah. Clean it up. Get in there. Vacuum that shit. Okay. It's at a 13.24% interest rate.

It's not huge. Klarna. What's this Klarna? What are we doing? So there's a Halsey concert. I don't know what that is. Is that a lesbian thing? You don't know who Halsey is? I know who's here. She's a singer. She's amazing. She a lesbian singer? She's goodbye, but she's engaged to a man. So you're theory. Right. And she's also, it's weird. She's never publicly been with a woman, but she's fine. Well, I'm glad we know this information about Halsey.

Who's Halsey? I know Halsey from Halo. She's, I don't know, like the boy back home in Michigan. Tastes like Jack and kissing him. I'm from Michigan. I don't know what you're talking about.

- I don't know. - Okay, so you clarinet tickets to a lesbian? - Yes. - Okay. - So I can watch a lesbian perform and fangirl over her. - And did you? - What do you mean? No, it's coming up. It's not happening yet. - So we're gonna spend more money 'cause transportation, you're probably gonna get food. Going alone? - Probably. - Probably? There's an option to not? - That I have a friend that we may be able to go. - Friend? Can you live with this friend? - No, she's the one I talked about earlier. Has the dog.

And how much were the tickets? The ticket? You just bought one? I don't remember how much it was. But you just bought one? Mm-hmm. Well, you owe $467.95 on Klarna. It's a pit ticket. But you don't have money. You're trying to... This is what is f***ing with me in this conversation. Your entire ambition and goal is to move out with your... What is it? F***ing incest diddle grandma or something? I don't know. Ew. It sounds very rapey, but it's not. I don't like that.

Guess, I don't know, in your therapist's affirm... I don't know. You know that one friend who somehow knows everything about money? Yeah, now imagine they live in your phone. Say hey to Experian, your big financial friend. It's the app that helps you check your FICO score, find ways to save, and basically feel like a financial genius. And guess what? It's totally free. So go on, download the Experian app. Trust me, having a BFF like this is a total game changer.

A meshment. A mesh? No, a mesh me? Listen, all I'm saying, if that's our goal, we're not going to a concert. What's more important? A concert or moving out with grandma? Because these are the things we have to cut back on to get there. No, no, no. I said what's more. They might both be important. What's more important? Long-term moving out. Then this is what is preventing you because every single month you are going to find the little thing that you want to spoil yourself with, cope yourself with, do all this, and then you push yourself to that desperate point that we were talking about in this conversation. You have to.

to actually make a choice. In the end, do we choose living an independent life or do we choose Halsey? How about Halsey for now? No, because this is what's preventing, look, your debt's getting worse because you're spending more than you make. If we do that forever, there is no moving out with grandma. How do you do it if your debt gets so substantially larger, your minimum payments are so chunky that you can no longer afford any kind of rent, even the cheapest, even subsidized? I don't know, be homeless. It's not cute. Trust me, I don't want to be homeless.

I almost was for a second. It scared me. Why? Because your grandmoms kicked you out because you're just a stay-at-home-forever child? Pretty much. But I don't want to be. I want to grow up. I want to be a full-fledged human being. No, you don't, because you're a true... You know what a grown-up would do? Not go to Halsey over actually living their life. That's what a grown-up would do. She never comes to Utah. Why would she? Because it sucks. Exactly. No one good ever comes to Utah. Exactly. Wish Chapel would come to Utah. Imagine Dragons, right? So... Right? Right?

At that point, it's country singers. An adult would also you can travel eventually. Listen, and you don't even want to live in Utah. You have so much life to live. You're just not allowing yourself to get there because you're not willing to sacrifice anything. And this is just one example of many so far. But it's Halsey. That's what concerns me.

You want to date. You want to be with someone. You're not willing to go on dates. You're actually considering fucking putting yourself out there in a monetary bodily way. You are not able to leave your grandma's house. You're choosing childhood choices over that. You are an infinite loop of college. You have done nothing but drop out, go back, drop out, go back. You won't even put your art out there, which is literally the only point of art. And you're bragging about how the fact that you came here on this show is your first like, oh, my life isn't entirely fixed. I don't know. This seems like...

You're never going anywhere. I am. I quite literally am. You say that I'm like going in and out of school, but I'm about to graduate. In a year. No, well, it's technically one semester. Look what you've done. Your goal for the last eight years has not been accomplished. In fact, you're further from it than ever.

And you're graduating with a degree that's not going to get you into any kind of field. I'm hoping that it was more of a resume booster than getting into a specific field. It certainly was in a hotter job market. Now it's more specialized and you do not have a specialized degree for something that is hiring. That's why I was also going to do the accountant thing because I know that helps. That certainly helps. But you are spending time and money and opportunity costs on something that is not going to get you into anything. I've

Welcome to watching five YouTube videos. This is so easy.

We do this here for our job. And we learn it on the fly. I guess I'll just Google it then from now on. Yes. Congratulations. You learned the use of the internet in 2025. Yeah, there's more than in Discord on there. What is this? Can you tell me what this is? No, because it's upside down. Probably that's my Home Depot. I did actually add the... You work there. Yes. Why the f*** do you have a Home Depot credit card with a...

are you doing it's so ridiculous it's so stupid why i got that one was because i was buying a drill from my grandma and the lady at the cash register and the lady at the cash register was like hey if you get a card you'll get a hundred dollars off so i said yes by the way the carnal balance i forgot to say it was 467.95 minimum monthly payment 95 93.53 why didn't you then just your grandma paid you back right

No. Well, I buy her things. Like, you know, I don't pay a whole lot of rent, so I buy her things on the side. You know what the buying her? You just need to buy her you getting the f*** out. That's what she would care about the most. She doesn't, why doesn't she want you there? Did we ever say that? What did she say? Well, everything was fine until my sister moved in and then... Your sister moved in? Yeah. She also a weird emo lesbian freak? Okay. So she's a good Mormon white lady? No. No.

She's 16, 17. Where's she moving from? From my dad's house. Why are you in this life? And you could totally be out. You could even be supporting your sister. She could be living with you if you wanted to. But you're choosing fun over that. You're choosing that over actually taking care of yourself. I don't know.

I don't understand why you have an active store card for the store you work at, though. It's just so silly. It's because they literally gave me the $100 on it. No, I'm going to cancel it soon. Okay, good. Cancel it, but you still have a balance on it. It's only $78.29. Minimum monthly payment is $17.53. They usually buy things that I need, like totes. You're not a credit card broker. You don't need anything. Sorting stuff. You don't need anything.

What are you sorting? Well, I wanted to sort everything in a tote so when I move out, it'll be a lot easier. Yeah, when in 30 years, I don't know, when your grandma dies? Like, I don't know. How old's your grandma? What's her health? She's 73. She's really healthy. Well... But she's 73. She's not as healthy as she was. Because she's 73. Yeah. She got heat stroke. That's why those things are in my cart.

So the wide brim hat and the towels are forward for her? Listen, the thing is, it's just like, what do you, if she does that, what the fuck do you even do? Because you can't support yourself now. You can't move out even though you want to, huh? Crying. That's not an answer. Listen, it would be sad. It would be a sad day. Yes. What the fuck would you do? This isn't my game plan and I'm not relying on this. You don't have a game plan other than sucking dick. Uh,

I don't want this put on the internet. Well, then we're not talking about it. I'm sorry, if you can't say it in the show, then we can talk about it afterwards. So I just don't understand how you would survive right now.

I can't. And I hate it. And it f***ing sucks. But. And I'm trying to do everything I can to. No, you're not. You f***ing absolute creature. That is a lie. You're choosing the concert. You're choosing hundreds of dollars of going out to eat. That is a f***ing lie. A lot of that food is for her. And you lying to yourself is not helping you. Don't buy her food. Well, that's part of like me kind of paying rent is I pay for her food. Does she require it? I mean, no. They stopped.

If you want to get out and she wants you to get out, then f***ing stop. You're lying to yourself. Stop. Stop it. This is ridiculous. Okay, what the f*** is this? Tell me what this is. Oh, that's for my medical bill. One of them. Okay, so remaining amount, $390.49 with a minimum monthly payment of $130.16. Oh, wait.

Okay, yes, that's the most recent. Okay, how long have we had this? That was from the surgery, so... What? I thought your surgery was paid for. No. Well, the car, remember my car broke down and I got a concussion, so I missed a bunch of work and I had to pay to fix my car and then I had to get a new one because I couldn't afford the rest of the repairs.

Are you okay? You didn't need to have the surgery yet because you weren't f***ing anyway. Well, the surgery was the only part of that that was planned. Yeah, but could you have canceled it if you didn't have the money? I didn't want to wait. Why? You were not f***ing. You haven't f***ed. Because... You haven't been on a date in a year and a half. Are you scared to go on a date? A little bit, but no. A year and a half is a long time. I still have talked to people. I feel like I've had other friends in that time.

That I'm not as close with now. I didn't say you didn't have friends. I don't know. What are you talking about? Well, I mean, like, I still have people I talk to. Romantically? Well, I have Hinge. I've talked to a few people. But you haven't met a human. No, not yet. And we're considering... This makes no sense.

Oh, this car is insane. A $20,000 debt in your situation. That's insane. That makes no sense. That makes no mathematical sense. How did they even approve you for this? Just crazy. What is the interest rate on this? It's either 3.6 or 6.3. I can't remember. That's a big difference. Well, I can't remember.

It's one of those. Well, one, I would say minimum fee payment until it's paid off. One, we might try to pay extra on it. So it's pretty important. Well, but you probably shouldn't if it's only 3.6. I think it's 3.6. I remember it being really good. Or is it 6.3? I don't know. Tell me. Really good. Is it not on there? No. Or else I wouldn't have asked, lady. Sorry. I just assumed it would be on there because that's relevant information. It sure is. I don't know why you didn't call.

Or go online and figure it out. Listen, we have... What is it? It's for a Ford EcoSport? Yeah. Ford EcoSport Titanium. I don't even know that car. So you owe $19,968.54 the minimum monthly payment of what? $400. How the f*** would you ever be able to survive? How the f*** would you...

Hold on, maybe the loan part is at the bottom of this statement or something. I might be able to see more. It's at 5.74%. So neither of what you just said was correct. No, that makes no sense. I don't know how I got that so wrong. Neither do I. And it's $450 a month. Okay.

It's supposed to be $400, not $450. Okay, $400 then. You're paying $50 extra. It's a weird interest rate where it's not great, it's not bad, but if you're taking depreciation and everything with it, it's not competing with the market. It's estimated to be around $11,000 value, so you're underwater by $8,000, which is insane. There's no way to get out of this for you at that point. When I left, I felt a little bit scammed.

From the dealership. Yeah, no shit. Why'd you get it then? Because I really needed a car. Why'd you need that car? It was, so I looked on one at Carvana and I looked at a Ford EcoSport and then I found out Carvana is kind of a scam also. It's not great. I mean, there's no negotiation. There's no nothing. It's all. Yeah. This is high price bullshit. So I went to a dealership, looked at a car and it wasn't.

Exactly what I wanted, but I found that car at a different dealership. And because it was already kind of what I was going to buy on Carvana, I ended up getting that one. How can you, this makes no sense. This car payment alone, you don't even have rent, is through your summer paycheck, 24% of your income. That's your summer, that's your higher paycheck. That makes no sense. It's a really nice car though. Shut the fuck up. I can go camping in it.

If you have time to camp, you should be f***ing working and being able to live on your own. Or if you can go camping in it, go live in that. I almost did, actually. I almost bought a trailer from one of my cousins, but he tried to oversell it to me. Your cousin? Oh my f***, I hate your family. This makes no sense. Savings, $97. You do have a CD, a youth CD, as a 26-year-old. Yeah, I don't know why they let me do that. $1,500.

I think it's because my... It's a pretty good rate, but I mean, that money, if it was sitting in the market since the recovery, man, you would have made so much more. It doesn't matter. Venom machine, venom machine, venom machine, venom machine, venom machine, venom machine, venom machine, venom machine, venom machine, venom machine, venom machine, venom machine, venom machine, venom machine, venom machine, venom machine, venom machine, venom machine, venom machine, venom machine, business, venom machine...

"Geneva Rock vending machine, "Geneva Rock vending machine, "vending machine, "Geneva Rock vending machine, "Geneva Rock." What the are you doing? What a joke. $150 a month on vending machines.

Venom machine, venom machine, venom machine, venom machine, venom machine, venom machine, venom machine, venom machine, venom machine, venom machine, venom machine, venom machine, venom machine, venom machine, venom machine, venom machine, venom machine, venom machine, venom machine, venom machine. What a joke. You want to move out? F*** you. No, you don't. You want the venom machine, venom machine, venom machine, venom machine, venom machine. Stop playing. Google subscription. Shut the f*** up. You're putting holes in the paper. Good. F*** you. Venom machine. Venom machine.

out money. Venom machine, venom machine, venom machine, venom machine, venom machine, venom machine, venom machine. You want to move out? No, you don't. No, you absolutely do not. Shut up. What a joke. Look what you're choosing. What a stupid joke. You have no desire to move out. Well, if people would stop stealing my food out of the fridge, I wouldn't have to use the vending machine. Talk to a manager about it. Stop being a crybaby. Shut up. $400 in here, then $1,800 in retirement. Shut the fuck

up and the vending machine charges you a fee every single time you use it. Is this Mountain Dew? Oh, you disgusting weirdo. I have a really bad Mountain Dew addiction. A horrible Mountain Dew addiction. Dude, I don't even know what to do with you. You're so lost. You're already considering going to f***ing prostitute at that point, which I wouldn't recommend. It's not cute. It's not good. And it shouldn't even be considered...

I would rather you do O-F than that because at least it's just pictures and not something physical. I'm not joking and I'm not even advocating for that specifically. You're not a credit card person. I wouldn't use a credit card for you. I do the Fizz card. It's a debit card that builds credit. And also at that point, I'll also get you connected with Sondermine.

Good for therapy. They use it. All the guests use it on the show. You might get a better therapy that doesn't just enable your weirdness and just horrible tendencies. Your debt minimum monthly payments are $696.22.

That's insane. What was it? I was laughing about the thing. $696.22, which is 41% of your income. You're never going to be able to move out. You say you're going to move out. It's mathematically impossible. That makes no sense. Your income is $1,700. Okay. So you pay nothing in rent, utilities, or anything, right? I do. What? Well, not right now because of my concussion and everything. It's been paused. Is that why you're here?

A little bit, yeah. Also, Twitter's going to come for you for that. What? I goon every episode. I throw every slur and degenerate joke and every crazy thing out there. I have an audience that has moved past the weird 2021 pearl clutching, jacking each other off online. The people that will come after me for that are .005% of the audience, and they have no impact on me, no matter how loud they are. So, f*** you. I get to have fun and have a good time.

We've grown beyond the censorship. Yeah. Okay. I mean, how do you make this math work, honestly? Hey, this is not girl math. That's infantilizing. Okay. Okay. Not really an answer, but once your rent picks back up, how much is it? Well, altogether, like $300. And when is that meant to stick back up?

I don't know. I think she just wants me out. So I think she might not want me to pay for it again. Am I allowed to call her in the post show? No. She would not like that at all. I don't care. But okay. Okay. So maybe I'll cross that out for now. How much gas a month from drive-drive? Not very much. I only fill up like once a month. How much gas a month? Maybe like 30. A month? Yeah. Car insurance? I don't go anywhere. I pay every six months and I pay like 600 something.

Call it $6.50, I guess. Yeah, I think it's like $6.75. We'll budget in $109. Okay, phone bill? $66 and some change. That's not horrible. TP Fund, anything else you need to survive? $100. Groceries, food, $300. Use the budget-friendly cookbook. You get a copy. Remember, you can get the copy signed by me because you can't purchase it anywhere else. You just have to sign up for the Dollar Wise budgeting app annual version. But go ahead and take a free trial now and give it a test first.

Okay. And medical health care. I mean, you're endlessly broken. So how much? I don't know. Like just copays and stuff. Do you have copays and whatnot? Yeah, but I chose the higher insurance. How much? I don't know. Like 50. Does your higher insurance come through work? Yeah. Okay. So 50 in copays. Gotcha. Jim? Yeah. $26. Do you actually use it? Not as much as I should, but yeah. Okay. Okay.

$26 subscriptions, I'll give you $15. You have a cat. One. Ages and health? Six and ten. Okay, ten, no. How about the six-year-old health? Actually, there's a lot of insurances that allow up to 20-year-old cats, so they both have insurance. How much? $103 a month, I think. Okay, what about cat food? $60. Anything else that needs to be in your budget that I have not taken into account? I don't think so.

Technically, you have wiggle room. $1,560.22. Obviously, our priority is moving the f*** out.

more than paying off debt, which is a rarity for this. But $1,700 is only during summer, so I don't think you have the wiggle room without that. And it's not like I can put in $139 for rent, so it doesn't make sense. So that's not the wiggle room anyway. Honestly, what I might consider doing for you is to get rid of that $696 the best we can, except most of it's actually the f***ing car, so...

It'll only get rid of $2.96. I was going to suggest maybe bankruptcy after you change your behavior. What can we do? What can we do? You're a complicated case because it's a weird life situation. And no, I honestly really please do not for money. Like, I know, just please don't. But if you do, be safe. That's all I'm saying. That's all I'm saying. I don't want to end up on Dateline. I agree.

Uh, 696. You know, I've seen your feed this whole time. Are they nice? Yes, they're very nice. Thank you. I've been seeing them under this table this whole time. At least that's flattering instead of being like, Caleb, pay me and I'll suck your dick. Shut the fuck up. I'm drawing a little blank.

Sometimes, and this is what's a little weird to you guys out there in the audience, is, I mean, obviously to you guys, this is edited, all this stuff. To us, this is live. We're sitting here. And my brain is having a brain fart, and that rarely happens in terms of this situation. So what I'm actually going to do is I'm just going to pay for you to sit down with Reid. He's a guy we work with. He's kind of our financial guy in the company. He's also a CPA. So we'll pay for a session for him to break all this down and come up with a solution. Because right now I'm thinking bankruptcy, but that doesn't... Okay, okay.

What we're trying to achieve is getting you out of the house. But if we get rid of the debt except for the car that only gives us an extra $2.96, that plus the $1.39 you got plus lower income in a couple months isn't going to get us rent. So really, the reality is, what do you need to do? Maybe go through bankruptcy if you change your behavior. Maybe give up your car in a repo and just ignore that and just go save up

$8,000 as quick as you can before moving out, get an $8,000 car in cash that you get mechanic approved, multiple mechanics. There's so much easier said than done, but I'm just trying to come together with some kind of picture. You have that, then you go work 70, 80 hours a week and then you save up enough for a security deposit and maybe even take out some student loans to help cover rent for your last year of college. I don't know.

I didn't realize I was that fucked. Oh my god. It's because you have no wiggle room. And if what you're trying to accomplish is what I'm trying to solve for, it's hard. If you're able to stay at home forever, like it's an easier solution. We put this towards the debt. You pay off debt, then we graduate, you know. But we're trying to get you out of the house immediately. So that's where it's difficult. So the reality is you just need to go work more than you've ever worked in every job you can possibly find.

And potentially just let all this go to collections and just gone and save up seven thousand, eight thousand dollars and get kind of a car, but one that will be safe. And that's kind of it. And your credit for a while. But if your true goal is to get out of the house, my answers are always based on the goal of the individual, unless their goals are completely wrong. But I agree with you and your grandma to a certain extent.

I don't have to move out immediately, immediately. It's just more of an as soon as I possibly can. She wants to and you've been trying to for years and you also want to. Well, yeah, but if it's like... She might kick you out, right? Not now. Not anymore. I hope not. Okay, then stay there as long as we can.

What I would do then, if our goal is still to move out, we're throwing, if we try to get $8,000, go ahead, bring an extra $1,000 a month by working as much as you can. Save up $8,000 as quickly as you can, $10,000 as quick as you can. Maybe you can just let this debt go. F*** your credit through your mid-30s, whatever. Unfortunate, but maybe you do that and you go get a $10,000 car in cash.

But then that's going to be so hard to get an apartment. My credit right now is 716. Yeah, because I mean, this isn't like you're not like maxed out or anything. That's not the thing. I don't think I've ever made a late payment. Again, it's not it's not about that. It's about getting you out of the house. And right now you do not have the wiggle room. Listen, maybe you can get out of the house and you go bring in an extra thousand hours a month by working a billion hours. And you use that to pay for it. And we make very slow debt payoff progress. You can do that as well.

You can do that as well. So prioritize moving out over debt? I don't know. It depends where you are in life. You have to choose. You can prioritize paying off debt. You can prioritize getting a car and going through bankruptcy. You can prioritize and repo. Or just through bankruptcy fully. Or you can prioritize moving out. Those are your choices. It's what you choose to go from here.

Okay, let's get your hammer financial score because it's really just from there. This is what you want to do. And then we can prioritize all of them. Guys, join us in the post show. We're going to go through a dating app. We're going to also get some more tea that would either get us demonetized or the guest just doesn't want us to share in front of the paywall because it's just too inappropriate or sketchy or whatever. So it's just easier behind the membership.

But go ahead and join Hammerly for a bunch of new shows, thousands of hours of extra content. It's the greatest membership on the history of this platform, and it is the second largest on the platform in just a year's time. So it is definitely worth it. Let's get you your Hammer Financial Score. Spending in a budget. Oh, you have a response to 0 out of 10. Debt?

The car debt's really bad for your income, so that's going to bring it down, unfortunately, to 1 out of 10. That's more the income base. Your emergency fund, there's like 1,000, 2,000 across everything. The other CD, I'm not going to consider emergencies. Actually, 1 out of 10, we'll put that towards retirement, which is also very low with where your income's at. 26, I'm going to give you, I'll be generous, 3 out of 10. Real estate, 0 out of 10.

Hammer Financial Score, one out of ten. Make sure to download the Dollar Wise budgeting app and join Dollar Wise Central for all of our education. I'll see you guys in the post show. Did you come on here and actually have an attraction towards me? What do you mean? Like, are you attracted to me? Yes. Whoa. So you're open to just f***ing. We will be reviewing your dating profiles. Yeah. These pictures are bad. Pictures are bad? They're horrible. You're using Snapchat filters. We're only one picture in. Come on, two. I'm going to think you're like 600 pounds.

I like, like, dom and sub stuff. Oh, you're a freak. I like being dominant. I mean, that's one of my things. Yeah, that's kind of like the whole thing, yeah. Collusive members content. Click the link in the description or pin comment below and watch thousands of hours of extra and uncensored content.